- 2 days ago
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:08oh friends colleagues and royal bird watchers i am very honored to be invited here today
00:00:16to tell you the incredible story of my last expedition um may i have the first slide please
00:00:25and here we are two weeks out on safari already deep into the interior and already treading ground
00:00:35that no white man had ever trod before yuck what are you umbala elephant dropping his bus oh blimey
00:00:43we'll have to make another detour what is it why have we stopped see all that elephant well i didn't
00:00:50think it was ours what is it professor please not in front of the lady i was going to ask
00:00:55her to keep
00:00:55quiet oh pardon me dear dear dear well isn't it safe to go on it's risky with elephants about
00:01:02be all right if they got a few cows with them on the other hand it could be all bulls
00:01:05well coming
00:01:06from you that wouldn't surprise me yeah well we've trekked far enough for today anyway up sir daisy
00:01:11what scout around find campsite look a dicky dick and nookie boss what's all this dookie nicky
00:01:16knicky knicky stuff that's banger banger talk well i hope he hurries otherwise i'm going to be icky dicky
00:01:21dear dear dear
00:01:31june my lavender water please yes milady i'm afraid you've dropped one lady bagley i beg your pardon
00:01:43oh yes of course it's a great pleasure to be of service ma'am after all we have traveled together
00:01:49a thousand miles now yes i know that mr chumley but i shall not be requiring a thousand mile service
00:01:55thank you bus yes bus i found a good campsite there bus big water hole fine drinkable hippopotamus
00:02:02there they seem to like okay good hippopotamus i'm not drinking after them why not they'll only be
00:02:09bathing in it if you had ever been in for a bath you'd know why not you're too fussy professor
00:02:14go on
00:02:15you go ahead i'll bring the women very well
00:02:20right in it
00:02:28excuse me mr boozy but her ladyship was wondering if she could have a shower as usual
00:02:32yes certainly
00:02:33hopsy daisy make shower tent to make water over white lady
00:02:41thank you
00:02:42dummy doesn't it bother you being out here in the jungle among a lot of men
00:02:45men have never bothered me mr boozy
00:02:47you must be joking
00:03:07evening well good evening mr boozy enjoying the safari ma immensely though i must say i am a bit
00:03:12disappointed we've not seen any monkeys so far oh you won't they're very busy it's the mating season
00:03:17i see would they come if i threw them some peanuts do you think would you that is a very
00:03:24big one you
00:03:24have there is it not mr boozy hey oh this yes well i'm going hunting you see i'll see if
00:03:30i can bag
00:03:30something for supper i see game anytime you are well uh i really must go yeah well they're all ready
00:03:38for
00:03:40you'll excuse me
00:03:41oh
00:03:42Let's go with him, eh?
00:04:35AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
00:04:35Boss, look! There he goes! There he's lost! Damn boss! How the hell I could...
00:04:46you gotta get him no boss you aim good but him in the wrong place he's gone into cover boss
00:05:04me lady your shower is ready thank you june i shall require you to pour as usual
00:05:15well i do hope that elephant doesn't stain that's all dear dear dear dear i'm beginning to wish we
00:05:21hadn't started on this trip every step one takes is fraught and what is more we haven't spotted one
00:05:28rare bird yet it's not good enough jumbly we must keep a sharper lookout oh don't worry professor
00:05:34i'm doing that all right sir
00:05:42jumbly what are you looking at oh nothing professor nothing at all sir well you must be looking at
00:05:48something your rear was positively agog oh well i um just thought sir that i spotted the golden
00:05:58crested tits uh oh impossible you don't find golden crested tits here in africa an occasional black
00:06:06one maybe oh yeah of course you're quite right sir and i was mistaken sir yes well let me have
00:06:12a look
00:06:12where is it no i shouldn't bother if i will sir where i can't see anything
00:06:23oh well yes that is definitely something really sir what yeah oh well i can't put a name to it
00:06:31actually it was just a quick flash of tail let me have a look what uh it's gone now it's
00:06:38gone into
00:06:38the jungle i'll tell you what look you take these binoculars and go and look for it oh no i
00:06:45don't
00:06:45think i should go outside just now sir lady bagley will be uh taking her shower will she oh well
00:06:54i
00:06:54hadn't realized that oh dear well we can't embarrass her can we a poor soul i um could of course
00:07:02keep
00:07:02my eyes averted spoken like a true gentleman chumley go and avert now round the back of the tent
00:07:12and don't need to see you now
00:07:31that's enough you'll get into excited take something man take something what
00:07:36no what's this picket's muscular elixir easy stiffness just the thing
00:08:01oh
00:08:02oh
00:08:02oh
00:08:03oh
00:08:03oh
00:08:04catch him up and break out a can of cornbee in cause
00:08:08june hurry up with the water please
00:08:18here you shouldn't be carrying everything's like that oh but her ladyship wants it don't worry
00:08:22she's gonna get it you're gonna have a rest go on oh here's a good girl
00:08:32june are you there yes my lady well rinse me off will you please
00:08:58that's enough thank you i'll bring in the towel and rub me down will you
00:09:01come on
00:09:11june
00:09:13june
00:09:14june
00:09:15june where are you
00:09:16it's funny
00:09:24june
00:09:27june
00:09:28june
00:09:29june
00:09:31june
00:09:31of her. Big white hunter. Big white tin opener. Thank you, June. I shall not require you anymore.
00:09:55You may take the evening off. In the middle of the jungle. Big deal. Good evening, Mr. Boozy.
00:10:06Good evening, ma'am. Just checking supplies. I haven't had an opportunity yet of thanking you
00:10:10for scaring off that horrible gorilla. Oh, that was nothing. As a matter of fact, you're all right
00:10:14as long as the gorilla keeps chasing you. When he stops and does that, then you've got to worry.
00:10:18What does that mean? Well, when you go over to find out what he's doing that for,
00:10:21he grabs only, you see, like that. Oh. They like to crush people to death. Then they like to get
00:10:26a good
00:10:26grip on anything handy and give a good squeeze. Oh, I see. And then what do they do? Well, then
00:10:36they
00:10:36nuzzle into the neck, see, and start nibbling. Oh, well, why do they do that? To keep your mind
00:10:42of what their hands are doing. Oh, good evening, Professor. Uh, Mr. Boozy was just showing me
00:10:52what happens when a gorilla gets a crush on one. Yes. I could see he was up to some monkey
00:10:57business.
00:10:58Very good, that. Yeah, well, grub will be up in a minute. I better go and have a wash.
00:11:01If you'll excuse me, ma'am. Of course. Oh, look at them rings. Are they whoppers? I have a matching
00:11:07pair
00:11:07as well. And don't think I hadn't noticed that. Oh, he's so vulgar, so vulgar. As a matter of fact,
00:11:14I find his bluntness rather refreshing. My dear Lady Baddeley, we must face up to it. The man is
00:11:19simply not a gentleman. I understand. He sleeps in his vest. Oh, but sleeping in just a vest displays a
00:11:28sense of individuality, surely. It displays a great deal more than that. What on earth do you mean,
00:11:33Professor? I mean that a man like that would stupid nothing, would go to any lengths to achieve
00:11:40his ends. Do you really think so, Professor? I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it, my dear Lady Baddeley,
00:11:46you are too trusting. I mean, out here in the wilds as we are, coming into close contact with each
00:11:54other,
00:11:55day after day, it only needs a glimpse of creamy skin, a hint of milky thigh. Why, Professor,
00:12:03you make me sound like a dairy product. Well, yes, you do remind me of something in an English meadow.
00:12:11What? A babbling brook. Sparkling, inviting, and so beautifully cool. Well, I'm very cool now.
00:12:21Night draws on, you know. Oh, how sensible of you to bring a pair.
00:12:28Dinner is served. Allow me now. Thank you, Mr. Chomley.
00:12:40Well, Mr. Boozy, you may have dinner served.
00:12:44Oh, common as muck.
00:12:49Oh, common as muck.
00:12:53Oh, common as muck.
00:13:13Can you watch along?
00:13:17Tell me, Mr. Boozy, what have you bagged for us tonight?
00:13:22This is what we call fricassee of fully grown African lions.
00:13:26Is it? Delightful.
00:13:29Isn't that rather dangerous, shooting lions, Mr. Boozy?
00:13:32Oh, not half. Now, you take this one here. When I come across him, he was having a bit of
00:13:35fun with a lioness.
00:13:36And if there's one thing that drives a lion stark raving mad, it's being disturbed when he's with a lioness.
00:13:41Oh, do they charge?
00:13:43Oh, no. I do it for love.
00:13:45What is your sport, Professor? I don't think I've seen you shooting.
00:13:49No, no. I get my pleasure in other ways.
00:13:53Really?
00:13:55Professor Tinkle is an ornithologist.
00:13:58Actually, I'm fascinated by rare and exotic birds. Aren't we all?
00:14:05Yes. My last expedition was to the Virgin Isles.
00:14:10It was there that we discovered the rare species of the frigate bird.
00:14:14The what bird?
00:14:15Frigate. Frigate.
00:14:16Now, now. Language.
00:14:17Now, you listen here.
00:14:23What is that?
00:14:25Probably a frigate hyena. Let's have a bit of fun with him.
00:14:41That'll shake him.
00:14:45Lady Bagley, now you know why we are here.
00:14:49Won't you tell us what brings a beautiful lady like yourself here to Africa?
00:14:54Well, before I tell you, I would like to show you something that I have in here.
00:15:00Oh, no, no. Don't bother.
00:15:01I always say, when you've seen one, you've seen them all.
00:15:05I promise you, Professor, you've never seen one like this before.
00:15:11That is a picture of my little baby boy.
00:15:14Lying there on the rug, playing with his wee engine.
00:15:18I must tell you that soon after little Cecil was born,
00:15:22my husband brought us out here on our honeymoon.
00:15:25It was a delayed honeymoon, of course.
00:15:27Well, of course.
00:15:28A lady like yourself would never make the mistake of putting the cart before the horse,
00:15:33or the club before the pudding.
00:15:35Will you spare us the clinical details?
00:15:39Pre-continue, my dear.
00:15:41One morning, out here in the wilds of the interior,
00:15:45my husband took our baby for his usual walkies,
00:15:49and they never came back.
00:15:51How ghastly, ma'am.
00:15:53Soon afterwards, while searching along the banks of the Limpopo River,
00:15:58our bearers shot a crocodile,
00:16:00and there, in its stomach, was my dear husband's fob watch.
00:16:07How very terrible.
00:16:09And the baby?
00:16:10On the bank, close by, was his nappy.
00:16:15Clean?
00:16:17I'm afraid not.
00:16:19And so near to the Limpopo too.
00:16:22But surely, ma'am, after all this time, there's no hope.
00:16:26Oh, no, but you see, we never did find his nappy pin,
00:16:30and it would be something to remember him by.
00:17:14Oh, no, no.
00:17:19Africa is so very romantic.
00:17:22I never get tired of listening to the strange noises must you do that always
00:17:29you are emit air in that disgusting fashion well what else am I supposed to
00:17:34do with it better than sneaking it out in other ways in it mr. Chumley please
00:17:38don't worry on my account let us just sit quietly and enjoy the night
00:18:09is there something wrong my dear no no no no it's it's quite all right a little
00:18:19more I don't mind of course
00:18:34lovely isn't it I can't say I'm enjoying it mr. Chumley what but you just said
00:18:58I don't know what's up with that well I don't know but whatever it is it's
00:19:02certainly rubbing her up the wrong way
00:19:14hmm
00:19:19hmm
00:19:32yeah
00:19:50Oh, my God.
00:20:04All right. We'll rest here.
00:20:23Ah, dear Lady Barkley. Did you see the giraffes just now?
00:20:26Yes, I did. Quaint things. I wonder why it is they have such long necks.
00:20:31Oh, well, it's quite simple. It's because their heads are so far away from their bodies.
00:20:35Do you know I would never have thought of that? You're so very knowledgeable, Professor.
00:20:40Oh, it's observation, really.
00:20:42Hmm. I wonder if perhaps you could help me. Do you know anything about the habits of snakes?
00:20:48Habits?
00:20:48Yes. I mean, what do they do?
00:20:52Well, strangely enough, I've often wondered that myself. Because they're exactly the same all the way down, aren't they?
00:20:59I mean, they don't seem to have the wherewithals.
00:21:01The wherewithals to what?
00:21:02Well, I mean, they do. If, I mean, they're lacking. Did you see the giraffes just now?
00:21:09Yes, I did. But what I wanted to know was, if one came in close contact with a snake, could
00:21:15it harm one?
00:21:15Oh, that would depend on the snake. You see, there is a brown one, the African viper, which is very
00:21:21deadly.
00:21:21Oh, no, no. This one was definitely green.
00:21:23Ah.
00:21:24And it sort of moved like that.
00:21:26Ah, that would be the Vinscreen viper. Quite harmless.
00:21:30What's that?
00:21:40Quiet, everyone.
00:21:41To the winner.
00:21:51What up, Sir Daisy? What do those drums say?
00:21:53They say, boom-di-di-boom-di-di-boom-boom-boom.
00:21:58Oh, I know that. What does it mean?
00:22:01Oh, should I know, boss? Fat lot of use you are. Come on, let's get moving.
00:22:04Okay, boss.
00:22:05Hummelapa.
00:22:07Kaka! Hummelapa!
00:22:09No matter where I am?
00:22:10I go to sea, boss.
00:22:12I wish he would go to sea. He's no flipping use on land.
00:22:15In in da, boss.
00:22:17Enough, enough. I call a lumbawamba.
00:22:19No fumble lumbawamba.
00:22:21No make you a boy.
00:22:22You know, wanna blow a chain of winner.
00:22:24Well, they don't want to go on, boss.
00:22:26I say that we must go on.
00:22:27They say no, I say yes.
00:22:29So now it is settled.
00:22:30Good lad.
00:22:31Yes, boss. We go on, they stay.
00:22:33How can we go on without them?
00:22:35Who's gonna carry all the supplies?
00:22:37Well, they're very frightened, boss.
00:22:38They say those are the drums of a very bad tribe.
00:22:42The Noshers.
00:22:43The Noshers?
00:22:44Very bad tribe, boss.
00:22:45Very savage.
00:22:46They eat people very backward.
00:22:48Well, they're not eating me backwards.
00:22:51Of course not. What a load of rubbish.
00:22:53What makes them think they eat people?
00:22:55Well, they say that the first drum says,
00:22:57lay the table, dinner on the way.
00:22:59And the second drum says, yummy, yummy.
00:23:02Perhaps it would be better if we don't go.
00:23:05Yes, sir.
00:23:06After all, this does seem a good place to set up camp.
00:23:08Not on your nelly.
00:23:09I am not being scared off by a lot of silly, superstitious native talk.
00:23:13They don't call me rattlesnake Bill for nothing.
00:23:16Okay.
00:23:16Now, you listen to me, you bunch of lily-livered jackals.
00:23:19We are not staying here.
00:23:23Put up the tents, double quick.
00:23:25Pakazon, kikaya, plazuru.
00:23:26Kakak, kakak, kakak.
00:23:53The drums have stopped.
00:23:54I know that. They stopped hours ago.
00:23:57Why don't you tell me something I don't know?
00:23:59The women of the Ubangi tribe, boss,
00:24:01stuffed the bones of the buffalo up their nose.
00:24:04What are you talking about?
00:24:05You asked me to tell you something you don't know, boss.
00:24:07Oh, blimey, go and get the beat.
00:24:08Let's go on. We're going under.
00:24:09Take a look.
00:24:11Mr. Brozzi?
00:24:13Yes, miss? What is it?
00:24:14The drums have stopped.
00:24:16Get away.
00:24:17I wondered if it would be safe for me to go for a walk.
00:24:19I mean, would anything happen?
00:24:20Darling, you could walk stalkers through a foreign legion outpost
00:24:23and nothing would happen.
00:24:24Oh, thank you.
00:24:26Boss, boss, boss.
00:24:28I got the beat, boss.
00:24:29Oh, God, blimey.
00:24:30It's like trying to have a bit on an ant's nest.
00:24:32All right, come on.
00:24:33Let's get going.
00:24:36All clear for us to do some bird spotting, if you like, sir?
00:24:39Oh, no, no.
00:24:40You go, Chumley.
00:24:41I have some paperwork to do.
00:24:44All right.
00:24:55Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:25:35You go, Chumley.
00:26:00Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:26:13Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:26:17Oh, aren't you lovely?
00:26:22It's all right.
00:26:23You're safe.
00:26:26Who are you? Where do you come from? Don't you understand? Don't you speak English? Or perhaps you've lived all
00:26:40your life in the jungle.
00:26:43Haven't you ever seen a woman before? Obviously not. Tell me, what is your name? Name. Look, me, June. June.
00:27:04Understand? June. June.
00:27:09No, not those. This June. Understand? June. That's right. Now then, what is your name?
00:27:23Hug. Hug. Oh, that's an unusual name.
00:27:35That's called a chest. A chest. Chest. Chest. Good.
00:27:44It's all right. It's nothing to be afraid of. No, no, no. I know yours isn't like that. But you're
00:27:52different from me, you see. I'm a woman.
00:27:56Woman. That's right. Woman. No, no, no. Me, woman.
00:28:07Look, I'll show you. See? Woman like that.
00:28:19Oh, no, no, no, no, that's a man. A woman doesn't have a... I mean a... Oh, dear, this is
00:28:24going to be very difficult.
00:28:28Woman. Oh, that's it. Chest. That's right. Man. No. No. Oh, dear. Perhaps we'd better start with something simpler.
00:28:43Water. Water. Water. Water.
00:28:49Good. Now, swim. Water. Swim. Water.
00:28:57No, no, no, no. I didn't mean I wanted to swim. I'm...
00:29:01Oh, well, I don't know. Perhaps it would be nice.
00:29:06We'll just have to wait for a moment. I'll get some of these clothes off.
00:29:37You'll get a shot of some more
00:29:39Yeah, man.
00:29:48Oh, well, they're not great.
00:29:53Oh, He put him there.
00:29:53Oh, well, Lord.
00:29:57Not upon his life.
00:30:18Great Scott!
00:30:45Is it?
00:30:47Oh!
00:30:49Oh!
00:30:50Oh!
00:30:55Oh!
00:30:56Oh!
00:31:00Oh!
00:31:20Kiss.
00:31:24Kiss.
00:31:26Kiss.
00:31:28Oh, we're supposed to do it together.
00:31:32Like this.
00:31:42Oh, that's Mr. Boozy, that bang.
00:31:45I must go back.
00:31:47Kiss, kiss woman.
00:31:49No, no, no, I can't now.
00:31:50I tell you what.
00:31:52Come here tonight, after dark.
00:31:56Oh, dear.
00:31:58Here, look.
00:31:59Look.
00:32:00Here.
00:32:02Nighttime.
00:32:03Understand?
00:32:08Shh.
00:32:11You don't have to tell everybody.
00:32:13Here.
00:32:15Nighttime.
00:32:16Oh, dear.
00:32:18You must go now.
00:32:19That's Mr. Boozy, that bang.
00:32:21Here.
00:32:22Nighttime.
00:32:23Bang.
00:32:24Yes, yes, yes.
00:32:24But for goodness sake, go.
00:32:26Oh.
00:32:27Oh, dear.
00:32:38Where are you?
00:32:39Where are you?
00:32:42What?
00:33:10I can't understand it.
00:33:13Why is it always the same fella that keeps getting in the way?
00:33:16He's very stupid, boss.
00:33:18He got no gun sense.
00:33:19He ran right across in front of you.
00:33:21Yeah.
00:33:22Well, try and patch him up and break out another can of corned beef.
00:33:24Boss.
00:33:28What on earth's happened to that poor fellow?
00:33:30Terrible thing, terrible.
00:33:31He was out beating up front, come across this mad elephant, you see.
00:33:34Mad elephant?
00:33:35Yeah.
00:33:36Nothing more dangerous than a mad elephant.
00:33:38Are you sure it was a mad elephant?
00:33:40He's been shot.
00:33:40Yeah, well, have you ever seen a sane elephant using a gun?
00:33:45Professor!
00:33:47Professor!
00:33:48Look!
00:33:49Look what I found!
00:33:51Oh, I can't believe it.
00:33:54Is it?
00:33:55Oh, it can't be!
00:33:57It isn't.
00:33:57It is?
00:33:58It is!
00:33:59It is!
00:34:00It is what, for Pete's sake!
00:34:02This is the tail feather from the famous Oozalem bird.
00:34:05You've gone potty.
00:34:06It's extinct.
00:34:07Ah, you've heard that story too, have you?
00:34:09I never did believe that story.
00:34:11I mean, it's based on a physical impossibility.
00:34:14No, never.
00:34:15Of course!
00:34:17The tail feather could have dropped off just before it disappeared up.
00:34:20But still all the same.
00:34:28But Lizzie Bagley!
00:34:29Whatever's the matter?
00:34:30You look so one!
00:34:32Oh, I've just had the most terrible experience.
00:34:36There was this savage with the spear, and he put in me!
00:34:42Where?
00:34:42In the bottom...
00:34:43Now, now, now.
00:34:44Where was this savage?
00:34:45I'm trying to tell you!
00:34:47In the bottom of the little ravine!
00:34:49Oh, the filthy swine!
00:34:52Oh, that sort of conduct makes me so mad!
00:34:54If only I had a gun!
00:34:56Here we are.
00:34:56Oh, yes!
00:34:57Thank you so much!
00:34:58It was...
00:35:01Now, that's better!
00:35:03Give it up!
00:35:04Give it up!
00:35:05Now what?
00:35:14It's dead, boss!
00:35:15Oh, dear!
00:35:16I do hope it's nothing serious.
00:35:18Wait a minute.
00:35:18Watch this.
00:35:20Find her, please return.
00:35:22Property of Nosher tribe.
00:35:24No, sir!
00:35:25Put her!
00:35:26Put her!
00:35:27Put her!
00:35:27Put her!
00:35:29Put her!
00:35:29Come back!
00:35:30Come back, you scum!
00:35:33Put her!
00:35:33Put her!
00:35:34Put her!
00:35:34All right, sir.
00:35:35Go and see them again.
00:35:36What?
00:35:36Put her!
00:35:37Put her!
00:35:37Do you mean that we're left alone right here?
00:35:39Yep.
00:35:40By morning, they'll be halfway on.
00:35:41Oh.
00:35:42Please help us, someone!
00:35:44Please help!
00:35:53Man, woman, water.
00:36:10Tent, knight, kiss, bang.
00:36:19Help!
00:36:20Help!
00:36:22Help!
00:36:24Help!
00:36:26Help!
00:36:27Help!
00:36:28Help!
00:36:28Help!
00:36:29Help!
00:36:32Help!
00:36:33Help!
00:36:35Help!
00:36:35Help!
00:36:37Help!
00:36:54oh no don't you naughty boy where do you expect me to go you should have made sure the toilets
00:37:00were put up that is no excuse i told you one of the first laws of the jungle is no
00:37:03whittling
00:37:04in the camp area you can't expect me to go into the jungle what if the noshers see me we'll
00:37:09get a
00:37:09nasty shock won't i shoot evening ma'am going somewhere yes i'm afraid i have to mr boozy oh
00:37:24pity well don't go too far because if there's any noshers about they'll find you a sitting target
00:37:28you know what i mean yes yes well i'll stay within calling distance of course yes do that i'll be
00:37:33here and if you call me don't think i won't come running because i won't
00:37:41oh blimey another one excuse me wish looking for something no i was just going back to the pool
00:37:48mr boozy i i think i remember now where i left my clothes oh good i'll come with you oh
00:37:52no no i'm
00:37:53sure that won't be necessary thank you mr boozy oh i think i better it's not safe for a pretty
00:37:57young
00:37:57girl like you to be walking about alone
00:38:07i'm going scouting you keep watch nook-a-dicky sure boss dicky nookie
00:38:14i'm going scouting you keep watch nookie nookie nookie nookie nookie nookie nookie nookie nookie nookie
00:38:37the
00:38:37i said
00:38:37the
00:38:39yeah
00:38:39my
00:38:39yes
00:38:51Evelyn.
00:38:58Lady Bagley, I'm terribly sorry.
00:39:00I thought...
00:39:01Now, why should I lie?
00:39:03I'm not sorry.
00:39:04I adore you.
00:39:05I've been longing to take you in my arms like this.
00:39:07Mr. Tomley, kindly remove your person
00:39:09from my person.
00:39:10Oh, I can't do your ladyship, Evelyn.
00:39:12This is Africa, a land of unbridled passions.
00:39:15Let's get our bridles off.
00:39:17Mr. Tomley, I am quite aware
00:39:19of our geographical position,
00:39:20not to mention our physical one.
00:39:22But I must point out to you that there is a time
00:39:24and a place for everything, even unharnessing.
00:39:26What?
00:39:27Ah, you're right, of course.
00:39:30Not here, eh?
00:39:32Later, I'll come to you.
00:39:35Give us a kiss to be going on with girls.
00:39:41Never mind awe.
00:39:43What are you doing, eh?
00:39:44Oh, dear, dear.
00:39:47Professor, I...
00:39:48No, don't tell me.
00:39:49I'm flabbergasted.
00:39:51My ghast has never been so flabbered.
00:39:53But I can explain that, really.
00:39:55No, no, I don't need your explanation.
00:39:57I know what's been going on.
00:39:59Don't spend a lifetime studying the habits of birds
00:40:01without learning something, you know.
00:40:03Enough.
00:40:04Back to your tent at once,
00:40:07you libertine.
00:40:09Libertine?
00:40:09Yes!
00:40:11Libertine!
00:40:12But, sir, Evelyn...
00:40:14Who?
00:40:14No, I mean her ladyship.
00:40:16Oh, her, yes.
00:40:17Oh, don't worry.
00:40:17I'll escort her back to the camp.
00:40:19Very good, sir.
00:40:30I must apologize for the outrageous conduct of my assistant.
00:40:34You see, he will not take his tablets.
00:40:36Why, Professor, I do believe you're the tiniest bit jealous.
00:40:39Yes.
00:40:40Oh, no.
00:40:41Well, well, I mean...
00:40:43You see, after all, I am his chief.
00:40:45And if there are any perks going...
00:40:48I mean, if there's any spare knocking about...
00:40:50I don't know.
00:40:50I think I know what you mean, Enigo.
00:40:53Yes.
00:40:53Take me now.
00:40:54Yeah.
00:40:55Pardon?
00:40:55Back to the camp.
00:40:57Oh, yes!
00:40:58Of course, yes.
00:40:59Allow me.
00:41:09Don't worry, darling.
00:41:10If there's anything there, I'll find it.
00:41:33He isn't here.
00:41:35Who?
00:41:36I mean, they aren't here.
00:41:38My clothes.
00:41:39Oh!
00:41:40Yeah, well, you don't want to worry about that.
00:41:41You look very tasty as you are.
00:41:43Well, I think I'll stay for a while, just in case.
00:41:46You go back, please, Mr. Boozy.
00:41:48Not on you and Nellie.
00:41:49Come on, I'll see you back, Nicky.
00:41:50Oh.
00:41:51All right, then.
00:41:52Come on.
00:41:57I'm sure you'll be all right now.
00:41:59I hope so, Professor.
00:42:00Though I must say I tremble at the thought of sleeping alone in Mum's tent.
00:42:04Oh, I know how you feel.
00:42:06I don't fancy it myself.
00:42:08One would feel so much safer with a strong, fearless man beside one.
00:42:12Oh, I agree.
00:42:13But where could we find one out here?
00:42:15Professor, I don't suppose you'll consider...
00:42:19That is, I mean, would you?
00:42:21Yes.
00:42:23No, no, it's unthinkable.
00:42:26Um, Lady Bagley, I wonder if you would think I was presuming if I, uh, um, could you see your
00:42:35way clear to letting me, uh, uh...
00:42:38Oh, no, no, it's unprintable.
00:42:40Well, of course, in the ordinary way, it would be quite wrong.
00:42:44But, of course, these are rather exceptional circumstances.
00:42:48Are they not?
00:42:48Oh, they are.
00:42:49They are.
00:42:50I mean, there is my reputation to think of.
00:42:53You would need to be very circumspect.
00:42:56Oh, I was when I was a baby.
00:42:58I mean, people might not think that you were in my tent purely to protect me, might they?
00:43:03Oh, definitely they might not.
00:43:05They might jump to the wrong conclusions, might they not?
00:43:08Oh, they might.
00:43:09They might.
00:43:10But, of course, we could wait until they were all asleep, could one not?
00:43:14Oh, one could, one could.
00:43:17Professor, how clever of you to think of that.
00:43:20Oh, it was nothing I thought.
00:43:21Till later, then, you go.
00:43:24Oh, gee.
00:43:30Well, here we are.
00:43:31All set and sound.
00:43:36Thank you, Mr. Boozy.
00:43:37Good night.
00:43:38You sure you won't be nervous, sleeping in a tent all by yourself?
00:43:41Oh, no.
00:43:43Well, if she should be, you're quite welcome to come to mind.
00:43:45Thank you, Mr. Boozy.
00:43:46But I don't think anything's going to happen to me.
00:43:49Pity.
00:43:49I've got a fair set of trophies I'd like to show you.
00:43:52Good night.
00:43:55This just isn't my safari.
00:44:00Oi.
00:44:01What's that?
00:44:01It's all right.
00:44:02It's all right.
00:44:02It's me.
00:44:03Anything to report?
00:44:03No, boss.
00:44:05Well, I'm turning in.
00:44:06Just keep your eyes open.
00:44:07Nookie, Dickie.
00:44:07Nookie, boss.
00:44:28Nookie.
00:44:57Nookie, Nick.
00:44:58Nookie, Dickie.
00:45:01Nookie, Dickie.
00:45:02Shhh! Don't make a noise, they'll hear you.
00:45:05Come over here and sit down beside me.
00:45:13That's it.
00:45:14Now then, I'll teach you some more words.
00:45:18Now, this thing I'm lying on is called a bed.
00:45:22Ah! Give me your hand. Let me hold your hand.
00:45:25There, that's better. Now then.
00:45:29Oh! Aren't you hairy?
00:45:33Oh! All right then, you can cuddle me if you like.
00:45:37Oh! What long arms you've got!
00:46:04Is that you?
00:46:07Don't make a noise. I think June is still awake.
00:46:10June?
00:46:11Yes.
00:46:12Shhh! I'm over here, come on.
00:46:16Woman, kiss me!
00:46:18Well, you don't waste much time, do you?
00:46:21Now, you mustn't rush me, Professor, you know. I'm not...
00:46:24What? What? What?
00:46:26Professor? You haven't got anything on.
00:46:30Water! Swim! Man! Woman!
00:46:33What? What are you talking about?
00:46:38Just a moment.
00:46:43Oh! How do you do? I don't think we've been introduced.
00:46:49Oh?
00:46:49No, don't go, don't go. I'm not going to hurt you.
00:46:52Now, tell me about yourself. Do you come here awful?
00:46:58Oh!
00:46:58Oh! Now, that's enough.
00:47:00You can't behave yourself better than that. I'm turning the light up.
00:47:04Not that I'm approved, but...
00:47:05Oh! Oh!
00:47:11Hello. Change of mind ever.
00:47:16I'm faint now. Wait till after.
00:47:19Oh, blimey.
00:47:23Don't you talk any English at all?
00:47:26Woman, kiss.
00:47:28I must say you're very persistent.
00:47:30All right then, if you promise to be a very good boy.
00:47:34Mom.
00:47:35Now, don't go!
00:47:40Poor boy, he'll catch his death.
00:47:46Oh, my baby!
00:47:58My baby! My baby boy!
00:48:03Oh, my baby!
00:48:08Never range, but it pours.
00:48:09Yes, it's a bruise, yeah.
00:48:14Why don't I always have that effect on him?
00:48:52Come on!
00:48:55Come on!
00:48:57What's he up to?
00:49:06Evelyn
00:49:11Evelyn
00:49:12It's Inigo
00:49:14Evelyn
00:49:17You're not asleep, are you?
00:49:20Oh, you're only pretending, aren't you?
00:49:23Naughty
00:49:23I heard you moving about just now
00:49:27Oh, Evelyn
00:49:29You're shy, aren't you?
00:49:32Oh, Evelyn
00:49:34This is not just the beast in me, you know
00:49:39Evelyn
00:49:39Oh, Evelyn
00:49:42Oh, I know we're all animals under the skin
00:49:46Yes, even you
00:49:49Very well
00:49:50She's not the only pebble on the beach
00:50:01Miss June
00:50:03Miss June
00:50:03It's me, Claude Chumley
00:50:06I want to speak with you
00:50:10June
00:50:15It's all right
00:50:16Look, I'm not going to harm you
00:50:19Tickle, tickle, tickle
00:50:21Tickle, tickle, tickle
00:50:25Bullseye
00:50:26Oh, Evelyn
00:50:28What bliss
00:50:30What
00:50:32That exotic perfume
00:50:34And the feel
00:50:36Of your soft
00:50:37Hairy skin
00:50:41Hairy skin?
00:50:43But
00:50:44Stay there
00:50:46Don't move
00:50:47Excuse me
00:50:51Oh!
00:50:53ν
00:50:53I'm done
00:50:54Whaaaa?
00:50:56Whaaaa
00:50:57How How
00:50:59GoodΠ
00:51:00&
00:51:01Wh
00:51:01He Wh
00:51:02Fuck Wh
00:51:08Wh Wh
00:51:09Wh
00:51:34All right, I'll take watch.
00:51:36You get some sleep.
00:51:37Thanks, Pa.
00:51:38Oh, what a night.
00:51:45I know the head.
00:51:47That's not your head, boss.
00:51:48That's the nosh of drums.
00:51:51You're right.
00:51:53You have a quick scout round.
00:51:55I'll get the others packed up.
00:51:56Nooky-diky.
00:51:56Dicky-nooky, boss.
00:52:02What is it?
00:52:03What is happening?
00:52:04We got to get out of here.
00:52:05Leave the tents and stores.
00:52:06We'll trouble with bare essentials.
00:52:07What?
00:52:08I'm not bearing my essentials.
00:52:10Heaven forbid.
00:52:11You don't mean we're going back.
00:52:12Well, of course we're going back.
00:52:13Can't you hear those drums?
00:52:14But I can't go back.
00:52:15What about my little baby boy?
00:52:16Little baby boy?
00:52:18You mean that walloping great thing in frilly knickers?
00:52:20Those weren't his.
00:52:22They were mine.
00:52:22I tore his off when he was in my tent.
00:52:24Well, there's a nice maternal action, I must say.
00:52:27Never mind whose knickers they were.
00:52:28We got to get going.
00:52:29No, I am not going back without him.
00:52:31Yes.
00:52:32And what about our oselm bird?
00:52:33Quite right.
00:52:34Oh, blimey.
00:52:35You've only got a tail feather.
00:52:36The thing's probably dead.
00:52:37That doesn't matter.
00:52:38We can still stuff it.
00:52:39A very good idea.
00:52:41Now, you listen here.
00:52:43They've stopped.
00:52:44Boat!
00:52:48Boat!
00:52:49Boat!
00:52:49Boat!
00:52:49There are many noshers coming.
00:52:50How many?
00:52:51Oh, as many as teeth in the mouth of a crocodile.
00:52:53Well, how many is that?
00:52:54Dunno.
00:52:55Nobody ever stopped long enough to count them.
00:52:57Oh, blimey.
00:52:57There's no point in running now.
00:52:58We've had it.
00:52:59But we've got guns.
00:53:00Can't we fight them off?
00:53:01What, that many?
00:53:03Wait a minute.
00:53:03Get some shovels.
00:53:04Yes, Boat.
00:53:05Shovels?
00:53:06What for?
00:53:06Dig a pit.
00:53:07A pit?
00:53:07That's it.
00:53:08We dig a dirty great deep hole, covered it with brushwood.
00:53:10When they rush us, they fall in.
00:53:11It's an old trick, but it never fails.
00:53:14Demotious.
00:53:17All right, there's your mouth.
00:53:18Come on, let's get digging.
00:53:19Follow me.
00:53:46Go to the rope.
00:53:49Go.
00:53:53Go.
00:53:58Go.
00:54:00Go.
00:54:03Go.
00:54:04Go.
00:54:04Go.
00:54:05Go.
00:54:05Go.
00:54:06Go.
00:54:07Go.
00:54:08Go.
00:54:29hold it I should do it I'll never get out of this there's just one thing bothers me yeah what
00:54:36how do we get out of this hmm yeah well like I said it never fails
00:55:07that's their god boss oh I see the head of the corporation please yourselves what's that big pot
00:55:16probably flatulence no that's stewing pot oh what are they going to cook that's your fool
00:55:22we're going in that pot us stewed oh not a chance don't go sober this is preposterous
00:55:31they can't possibly do this to us after all we are British subjects they got no taste these people
00:55:37they'll eat anything but surely they wouldn't eat me you especially wait and they see that bit of best
00:55:53rump before you start carving I think you ought to know him great white magic man him doer of
00:56:04marvelous things you hurt us him bring eat great misfortune down on you yes I let you see marvelous
00:56:11doings of this man quick show him your doings I beg your pardon show him your doings I will not
00:56:17show him yours he wants to see a better magic well you should have said you see magic oh show
00:56:23me magic
00:56:24doing it's magic doing so dear he's insistent isn't he well now every no you are now wait this
00:56:31that's uh there was uh oh look 12 o'clock that's it you've got him going
00:56:58yeah I'll tell you what you let us go you can have it
00:57:06you go that's it let's get out of it before he changes his mind one moment please I tinkle of
00:57:14the
00:57:14miraculous doings are well pleased with you I now call upon the great sky gods to send down
00:57:21a sign upon you to show their appreciation
00:57:56you
00:58:00you
00:58:14you
00:58:23Do it in your big mouth.
00:58:25I tinkle of the miraculous doings.
00:58:28Call upon the great sky gods.
00:58:31Dimey.
00:58:31Well, it's not my fault.
00:58:33What did that silly idiot want to drop in like that for?
00:58:36Don't talk about my baby like that.
00:58:38He was only trying to help us.
00:58:39Oh, he helped us, all right.
00:58:40Right under the menu.
00:58:42Anyway, it didn't enable June to escape.
00:58:44Yes.
00:58:44And up-sa-daisy.
00:58:45Perhaps he's gone for help.
00:58:47Fat chance.
00:58:48By the time he can get back, we'll all be eaten and forgotten.
00:58:50Oh, the indignity of it all.
00:58:53I, Professor Tinkle, ornithologist, thrust like a chicken.
00:58:58Just keep hoping they don't like stuffing.
00:59:01Do they just drop us into boiling water?
00:59:05Oh, no.
00:59:06Nothing as barbaric as that.
00:59:07They just drain all the blood out of us first.
00:59:10That's all we need.
00:59:11Kosher noshers.
00:59:24There he is.
00:59:25The head chef.
00:59:49White men.
01:00:08Here we go.
01:00:10One for the pot.
01:00:37They will do.
01:00:40untie them excuse me do you speak English it is the language of our king
01:00:48it is his wish we speak it oh how nice and and who is this king Tonka the
01:00:55great oh very interesting perhaps you'll show us this great Tonka of yours he is
01:01:02not here he is too weak to travel far where is this great Tonka of yours hang
01:01:08out then in our valley beyond the mountains it is called aphrodisia
01:01:13aphrodisia ah then you must be aphrodisiacs no we are known as the
01:01:19lubby-dubbies I'll second that aphrodisia lubby-dubbies no I can't say I've heard of
01:01:25no more questions you must save all your strength for the work that lies ahead
01:01:30work what work in our country there is only one useful occupation for men what's
01:01:37that why to mate mate what else oh mate
01:01:49oh
01:02:20I'll see you next time on the second wave.
01:02:21Aphrodisia.
01:02:25I hope the journey has not tired you too much.
01:02:28Oh, no, no, I'm very not very well, thank you.
01:02:30Well, I should think so too.
01:02:31I think it's absolutely disgraceful us lugging them about.
01:02:34It is meet and proper.
01:02:35Well, not for me it isn't.
01:02:36Where I come from, the men carry the women about.
01:02:39That is why you are so soft and flabby.
01:02:43No matter.
01:02:44You will become strong after you have done some work.
01:02:48Work?
01:02:48Doing what, may I ask?
01:02:51Woman's work.
01:02:52Farming.
01:02:53Hunting.
01:02:55Looking after the men.
01:02:57Having children.
01:02:58What a prospect.
01:02:59Forward with labour.
01:03:01Excuse me, Miss... Madam.
01:03:04No, no, please do not get up.
01:03:05Oh.
01:03:05Can I help you?
01:03:06Yes.
01:03:07As a matter of fact you can.
01:03:09Tell me, this work that you are talking about for us, this...
01:03:13Mating, yes.
01:03:14This mating, yes.
01:03:16Exactly.
01:03:17What does it entail?
01:03:19I don't understand.
01:03:20Have you not mated before?
01:03:22Certainly not.
01:03:24Do not people do it in your country?
01:03:26Well, I gather that there is a bit of it going on among certain classes.
01:03:32But do not worry.
01:03:33You will be shown what to do.
01:03:34I know what to do.
01:03:36But I'm not in particular.
01:03:38I can't do that sort of thing with every Tom, Dick and Harry.
01:03:41But you do not need to worry.
01:03:43There are no men in Aphrodisia.
01:03:45Only women.
01:03:47No men?
01:03:47For some reason, for the last hundred years, we have born nothing but girl children.
01:03:52The last man died ten years ago.
01:03:55I can guess what of.
01:03:57Wait a minute.
01:03:58Now this great Tonka of yours, now tell me.
01:04:02If he's not a man, he should be a queen.
01:04:05He is a man.
01:04:06And when he first came to our valley, we hoped the curse would be broken.
01:04:11He has tried very hard, but that is why we blessed your coming.
01:04:17Excuse me.
01:04:19How many women have you got down there?
01:04:21Of mateable age.
01:04:23About a hundred.
01:04:25Don't want to waste time hanging about here, do we?
01:04:27Let's get working.
01:04:28Forward.
01:04:40tbsphtjkf!
01:04:42Ready!
01:04:44Ready!
01:05:00Right.
01:05:01Who's first?
01:05:02Now hang on.
01:05:03Don't rush.
01:05:04Don't rush.
01:05:06Tonka is coming.
01:05:07You will stand please. Conquer the great! Conquer the great! Conquer! Conquer! Conquer!
01:05:16King of lovers! King of lovers! Master of women! Master of women! Father of countless! Father of countless!
01:05:28Oh hello! Walter! Oh my god it's the wife!
01:05:35You mean you've been here all these years with all these women?
01:05:43I can't understand what you're so upset about. You can't understand. Don't you realize what a terrible shock and disappointment
01:05:52this has been for me?
01:05:54Disappointment? Yes, with all these years I believed you've been eaten by a crocodile. Oh dear me no.
01:06:01Your watch was found in a crocodile's stomach. Oh no, it can't have been my watch.
01:06:06I distinctly remember my watch was eaten by a nosher. Well how did it get into a crocodile's stomach?
01:06:11I wouldn't like to think. Unless it ate the nosher too. I think I'm going mad.
01:06:16Oh my dear. Sure you didn't come all this way to tell me that. No. Walter, will you please explain?
01:06:23Yes dear. What have the nosher's got to do with it?
01:06:27Well, you see I was captured by them. Captured by them? Yes. You remember that morning that baby and I
01:06:34set out for our usual walkies?
01:06:35Well I was jogging along quite happily. Isn't he a lucky little babesy-wabesy den?
01:06:41To go huntsy-wansy with big brave daddy-waddy den? Yes he is den.
01:06:46Eh. What's the matter den? Is babesy-wabesy sitting on something uncomfortable den?
01:06:52Ah. Eh. Yes he is den. Poor mumsy-womsy must have got to put babesy-wabesy on the potsy-watsy
01:07:01this morning, didn't she den?
01:07:02Yes she did den, the lazy cow-sy-wowsy.
01:07:06There den. Daddy-wadsy will have to give mumsy-womsy a smacksy-waxy, won't he den?
01:07:13Yes he will den. Round the chopsy-wopsies.
01:07:16Oh. Shh. Don't make a sound. I've just seen a whopper.
01:07:21Ah. Oh you stay there and be a good diddums. And dadsy-wadsy will bag it.
01:07:37Oh I'm terribly sorry. I didn't know you were there.
01:07:42Oh you weren't there. Never mind. Keep on trying.
01:07:48And the next time I knew, there was a hundred of them around me and I was in it up
01:07:52to here.
01:07:53In what? In the stew pot.
01:07:55And baby? No, just me and a few turnips.
01:07:57I mean what happened to baby?
01:07:59Well I don't really know. You see these dear ladies here rescued me just as I was coming to the
01:08:04boil.
01:08:04And then they brought me here.
01:08:06But that was over twenty years ago. Haven't you even tried to find the poor little chap?
01:08:10Well I have been busy.
01:08:11Yes and I know what doing. King of lovers eh?
01:08:14Purely an arbitrary title.
01:08:15Master of women.
01:08:16Just a hereditary title.
01:08:17Father of countless.
01:08:18It goes with a job dear.
01:08:19Well you can add another one.
01:08:20Really? What's that?
01:08:20Stinker of stinkers.
01:08:22I say. Have I offended you about something?
01:08:26It might interest you to know that while you have been wallowing in sin here, I have seen our baby
01:08:32boy.
01:08:33Really?
01:08:34Only yesterday.
01:08:35Oh well I never. I hope you remember to change his nappies. He was in a fight for us.
01:08:39He's a fully grown man now you fool. Now he's gone again and I don't know where he is or
01:08:46what he's doing.
01:08:51Weed. Seed. Feed. Lead. Bed.
01:09:00No, no, no. Beed.
01:09:03Bed.
01:09:05Oh dear. Here we go again.
01:09:12Look please. Will you stop it? Will you stop it?
01:09:15Look, I'm old enough to undress myself. Now get away. Now get away from me. Now get away. Please. Oh
01:09:22dear dear dear dear dear.
01:09:23Hello. Are you having a bit of trouble?
01:09:26Yes I am. Tonka, please whatever your name is. Tonka, tell these young women to stop trying to take my
01:09:30clothes off.
01:09:32They're your attendants. I'm not having young women like this undressing and dressing me. Besides I don't suppose to even
01:09:39know where everything goes.
01:09:41You wanna bet? What's he beefing for? I enjoyed it.
01:09:44Yes, and it's showed. All right girls. Off you go. Come, come. Overzealous.
01:09:51Now, you'll have to get your mating robe on because there is a ceremony this evening.
01:09:56Oh, straight to work, eh? Well, nothing like a good, honest, nice work, is it?
01:10:03Tell me, please, this mating ceremony, what's it like, eh?
01:10:08Well, it's like a marriage, really, to the mate who's being selected for you.
01:10:13Marriage?
01:10:14May we get lumbered with just one woman?
01:10:16That's right. Until tomorrow. Then you get an automatic divorce and marry another one.
01:10:21Another one?
01:10:22That's right. Then the following day another, and so on and so on.
01:10:27Yes. Well, after two weeks of that, it'll need sewing on.
01:10:31Oh, it's great fun. Why don't you get used to it?
01:10:33Ah, excuse me, sir. I don't want you to think that I'm complaining at all.
01:10:39And I've always been a pretty active sort of chap, you know.
01:10:42And what I'm getting at is I... I don't think I'm active enough to get married every day.
01:10:48Oh, not every day, dear me, no.
01:10:52Oh. Oh, that's all right, then.
01:10:55You get every other Sunday off.
01:10:58Oh, uh, by the way, you won't try to escape, will you? These women can get very nasty.
01:11:05Escape? You must be joking.
01:11:09Good luck. I'll see you at the ceremony.
01:11:14And what is so amusing?
01:11:17I was just thinking of that idiot jungle boy trying to rescue us from this.
01:11:20He doesn't know what he's missing.
01:11:23One, two, three, four, five, six.
01:11:32I wonder if we'll ever get to seven.
01:11:45I've decided there are going to be some changes made around here.
01:11:48Oh, but my dear, I do change them very frequently.
01:11:51Yes, we know all about that.
01:11:52But from now on, father of countless, you are going to be husband of one.
01:11:57Oh. But I thought I ought to take part in just one more ceremony to show the three new chaps
01:12:03just what to do.
01:12:05Hmph. From my experience, they already know.
01:12:08Ah, yes. But it is a very difficult and complicated ritual.
01:12:12Not when I knew you it wasn't.
01:12:14Now get on with it, but leave yourself out.
01:12:19Tonka! Tonka! Stick it up your honka!
01:12:37Behold the symbol of perpetuity.
01:12:42By God, sir. It's the Uslan bird.
01:12:46Yes. And a male specimen to boot.
01:12:50Oh, I can clearly see it's Uslan.
01:12:53Quiet, please. And face the mating booths.
01:13:00It is written that man is the fountain of life.
01:13:03Man is the fountain of life.
01:13:05Without him, women are as dried up gardens.
01:13:08Women are as dried up gardens.
01:13:10They can use my sprinkler any time.
01:13:13You will be serious, please.
01:13:20Take it.
01:13:22What for?
01:13:23It is the symbol of marriage.
01:13:25I might have guessed.
01:13:30Oh, yes. And what is this?
01:13:33The symbol of fruitfulness.
01:13:34Ask a silly question.
01:13:44Yes.
01:13:45Who on earth thought up this ceremony?
01:13:48I did, as a matter of fact.
01:13:50I might have known.
01:13:51Make your responses after me, please.
01:13:54William Boozy, Inigo Tinkle, and Claude Chumley.
01:13:58Are you ready to assume the duties of a husband?
01:14:01We are ready.
01:14:02And will you perform them to the best of your ability?
01:14:05We will.
01:14:05We will.
01:14:06I now pronounce you ready and willing.
01:14:17Behold, your mates.
01:14:21Honey, who chose that lot?
01:14:23Our new queen, Evelyn.
01:14:27They're all yours.
01:14:29Hang on.
01:14:30Hang on.
01:14:31No, it's me then.
01:14:32Oh, pretty, pretty.
01:14:33There's no stone to ply, Missy.
01:14:35Harry, please, I'm on the wrong job.
01:14:37Oh, put me at the door.
01:14:39Oh, no.
01:14:40Oh, perfidy, perfidy.
01:14:42Oh.
01:14:47It's been a lovely three-month suck.
01:14:50But I keep worrying about Lady Bagley and the others.
01:14:53No good to worry.
01:14:55With those bad men, by now they'll all be dead as toenails.
01:15:00Toenails?
01:15:02Maybe.
01:15:03But just suppose they did escape.
01:15:06After all, she's your mother, you know.
01:15:08Mother?
01:15:09Mother, yes.
01:15:09Like you say, she gave birth to me.
01:15:12Birth?
01:15:14She gave birth to me, too.
01:15:16Yes.
01:15:17And I really think we ought to try and find out what's happened to them.
01:15:21All right.
01:15:21You wish we go look, we go look.
01:15:23That's a good boy.
01:15:26But before we go, we just do it one more time.
01:15:30Not again, Ark.
01:15:32Yes, yes, please, Julie.
01:15:33It's no satisfying you, is there?
01:15:35The more I do it, the more I get better.
01:15:38Better?
01:15:39All right, then.
01:15:40Just once more.
01:15:44A poem.
01:15:46Mary had a little lamb.
01:15:49Its fleece was white...
01:15:51No, no, no.
01:15:52Fleece.
01:15:53Oh, sorry.
01:15:54Its fleece was white as snow.
01:15:56And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sore to go.
01:16:03There was butter.
01:16:05Metch butter.
01:16:06Oh, dear.
01:16:07Now you've got me doing it.
01:16:09Good.
01:16:10Now we go look for mutter, who give me birth and bath.
01:16:19Do we have to go that way, Ark?
01:16:21Not to worry.
01:16:22I show you.
01:16:23You hold to me tight.
01:16:29No, no, no.
01:16:32No.
01:16:55Perfect, no.
01:16:56wake up come on wake oh not today dear thank you wake this is important wake her too
01:17:08what's going on what are you doing nice way to treat your queen i must say you are no longer
01:17:14our queen i am taking over what with him no alone since you came tonka has become useless to us
01:17:22well he hasn't been exactly a ball of fire to me either don't blame me dear you've got too good
01:17:28an extinguisher how dare you enough from now on you will live and work with the women tonka will
01:17:34live and work with the men hello well i'm joining you chaps now you see i'm no longer king she
01:17:47is the
01:17:47new leader that is right and as your new leader i must say i'm very dissatisfied with the results
01:17:52of your work so far yeah you want to try giving us better materials to work with see that it
01:17:57improves there will be a mating ceremony in one hour but this is our sunday off there will be no
01:18:06more
01:18:06sundays off no no we're not standing for it you can push us just so far but you threaten me
01:18:15what can
01:18:15you do what can we do what can't we do we have already discovered what you can't do oh she
01:18:23is a
01:18:23miserable leader there's only one thing we can do we can go and strike strike what is the meaning of
01:18:29this we down tools you will refuse to work definitely we have ways of making people work
01:18:38like this for example fresh oysters from our lake oysters they're no good they are known
01:18:45to be highly beneficial rubbish i had a dozen last night and only five of them worked we shall see
01:18:51in one hour
01:18:56oh i can't go through anymore i've got to get out of here
01:19:00are you here let me out let me out control yourself
01:19:03i can't help it i've come to the end of my tether well you're lucky i can't even find mine
01:19:11it's like a
01:19:11factory an endless builder all right all right look there's no sense in running amok oh he's terrible
01:19:19but his muck starts to run well i think he's right i just couldn't take on any more of those
01:19:24old
01:19:24battle axes they keep giving us i know how you feel it's novelty to begin with but it soon wears
01:19:29off
01:19:32can't we make a run can't we make a crawl for it anything would be better than this
01:19:39and get killed except that well there must be some way of getting out of here
01:19:47look at that one if i get her i've had it
01:19:59up she daisy yes boss see mommy that's a twist
01:20:03after i escape i see these people capture you so i go back for help bring many soldiers good lad
01:20:09where are they not far boss as the crow flies just around the corner up the hill and under
01:20:15the waterfall how many told you as many as feet on a centipede a hundred no ten but don't just
01:20:20stand
01:20:21there go and get them hang on wait a minute we've got to pick the right moment i know when
01:20:26they let us
01:20:26out for the mating ceremony that's it get them in position wait for my signal they start shooting and
01:20:31we get away in the gafuffle look a diggy take a looky what signal you give boss elephant call oh
01:20:36i know boss like
01:20:46this
01:20:48behold the symbol of perpetuity
01:20:57face the mating booth now wait a little bit later
01:21:08oh my goodness they're alive yes they find
01:21:14oh no i'll look down there
01:21:18oh i must do something don't worry i think of something i now pronounce you ready and willing
01:21:25get ready i know i call my animal friends behold your mates
01:21:36oh no i'll come to think of it perhaps uh this is not quite the right moment
01:21:46i agree you took me into it what are we waiting for
01:22:16that is
01:22:19leaving without my birds no nor am i
01:22:27i have to use them
01:22:29never mind about that where's conker
01:22:31come on
01:22:31come on
01:22:32come on
01:22:32come on
01:22:32come on
01:22:35come on
01:22:48come on
01:22:51oh
01:23:16My friend, they do good, yes.
01:23:18You stupid great ape, they tend to rescue us.
01:23:22The men have escaped, after them, quick!
01:23:39Wait, take these back and look after them well.
01:23:44Yes, and the others?
01:23:45Let them go.
01:23:45At last, we have some real men.
01:23:48Real men?
01:23:50Oh, may she be forgiven!
01:23:59We're safe!
01:24:01Safe!
01:24:02And it's all you're doing, my baby!
01:24:06And so, as the sun sank slowly into the chest, we made a fond farewell to Aphrodisia and its over
01:24:20-hospitable people.
01:24:21And now we come to the moment that you have all undoubtedly been waiting for.
01:24:28Ladies and gentlemen, the Ozilum bird!
01:24:33It's gone!
01:24:34Oh!
01:24:35Where has it disappeared to?
01:24:40We'reΡΠΊΠΎΠΌ.
01:25:06Ha, ha, ha, ha!
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