- 15 hours ago
Seth and Sean discuss the best and worst moves, Sean power ranks the Texans' most exciting offseason moves, and put the NFL Head Coaches into buckets based on their fitness level.
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00:00Best move, worst move, according to Bill Barnwell.
00:04But I'm going to power rank the moves that the Texans made this offseason.
00:08I'll rapid fire that in just a second.
00:10But he did it for all 32 teams.
00:12If you're interested, it's a classic Barnwell article where there's, you know,
00:1520,000 words, but you can click straight to the parts you're most interested in.
00:19Do you agree, Seth, that the best move the Texans made this offseason
00:23was signing Braden Smith to a two-year, $20 million contract
00:28to play right tackle for this football team?
00:31Okay, as far as, hmm, yeah, it's funny because the Texans didn't make blockbuster moves
00:40or aggressive moves.
00:41It was by quantity.
00:43Yes, I do, I think partly because I think Braden Smith fits much more the culture
00:48of what D'Amico Ryans wants on the offensive line.
00:52He is in that category of, okay, he's a tenacious run blocker.
00:57He's a physical player.
00:58He's not necessarily, I wouldn't call him better or worse than Titus Howard.
01:01He's just a different type of player.
01:04And they didn't overspend for him.
01:06So, yeah, I would agree with you.
01:08I would agree with Barnwell.
01:09Yeah, with Barnwell, that that's their best move.
01:11I don't have it as their best move.
01:13I'll tell you where I have it in a second.
01:16But this did get me excited about the move.
01:19This is some audio we played last week.
01:20If you missed it, we'll play it again.
01:21Man, this is Max Crosby, all-pro edge rusher, unprompted bringing up Braden Smith's name
01:29as someone who he's had some battles with through the years.
01:31And there's some random guys that nobody talks about, and you're like, that motherfucker's
01:34low-key cold.
01:35And those are the scariest ones.
01:36And those are the ones.
01:37Like, there's, and I'll give, what's his name?
01:40I'll give him props, Braden Smith.
01:43I've had battles with him.
01:45I've been playing him for years now.
01:47Doesn't get Pro Bowls.
01:49Doesn't get a ton of recognition.
01:51He just signed with the Texans.
01:52And he was with the Colts forever.
01:54And he's a big, mean motherfucker, 6'7", huge motherfucker.
01:59He doesn't say a word.
02:01Blank.
02:01Like you're talking to a fucking wall.
02:03And a guy like that, he's one of those guys where I'm like, this is going to be a
02:07bloodbath.
02:08We're going to go to war.
02:09And we never say a word to each other.
02:11And we're pounding, bro.
02:13Run, pass, everything.
02:14And those are those random matches where, like, most people wouldn't bring up his name
02:18in that conversation.
02:19I think he's one of the best f***ers in the league.
02:21I don't remember that being bleeped as liberally as it was there.
02:24Ben didn't do that bleeping, by the way.
02:26That was bleeped last week.
02:27When the bleeps are short, you still hear the word.
02:31As long as you can hear the first consonant.
02:34Yeah, it's FCC compliant, and yet you still in your brain hear the word.
02:38Yeah, Ben dumped it.
02:39So we're good.
02:40We got the point, even without all the sailor talk from Max Crosby right there.
02:44Without all the sailor talk.
02:45He really likes Peyton Smith.
02:47You know what?
02:48Since I think I'm the one that originally edited that, I think I've learned my lesson,
02:51which is the F sound.
02:53If you leave the F sound in and bleep out the rest of the word, it's still, your brain hears
02:58the word.
02:59So, yeah.
03:00You don't need to say, I don't know that you were the one that edited that.
03:02Oh, really?
03:03Okay.
03:03Yeah.
03:04Yeah, okay, yeah, because I remember, I've learned that lesson before, and I thought I was more aggressive with it.
03:08Yep, yep, yep.
03:08That sounds like there was a bleep added on top of the audio that wasn't removed.
03:14You know what I mean?
03:14Like, instead of removing the audio, they just added a bleep, so you could just, you could, the swear word
03:21was still in there with a bleep on top of it.
03:24Right, right, right.
03:24And it's all good.
03:25It got dumped.
03:27We know that we get the point.
03:28People on the stream still heard it, so you're still heard it.
03:32Yeah, and I think the kids are out of school.
03:34Okay, good.
03:35So, I think that, so there's that.
03:36So, as far as, yeah, I am excited about the overall change in approach and the overall theme of the
03:45offseason with the offensive line.
03:47At the end of the day, there are still questions about just how improved they can be, because it's a
03:52bunch of potentially new pieces.
03:54And also, you know, with some of them aging, Braden Smith and Wyatt Teller both have been injured a fair
03:59amount over the last couple years.
04:01Draft picks, you know, are just, it's always a dicey proposition with draft picks.
04:06But just by sheer quantity, they've been way more aggressive about fixing it.
04:10Absolutely.
04:12Barnwell, worst move.
04:13And I'm going to read some of what Barnwell had to say here.
04:16And as I went through the exercise of thinking of how I would rank the moves the Texans made, I'm
04:24not sure he's that far off, actually.
04:26His worst move, bringing back Ed Ingram for three years and $37.5 million.
04:31And here's what he says.
04:33He says, among the various moves that Casario made a year ago, one of them was trading a six-round
04:38pick to the Vikings to get Ed Ingram.
04:39And that was a big success last year.
04:42Ingram had been a liability in Minnesota.
04:43He'd been benched in 2024, but he was able to start 14 games for the Texans, got better as a
04:48run blocker, still a liability in pass protection, former second-round pick.
04:53There's a price for which bringing Ingram back would make sense.
04:56But on this deal, Ingram is making $15 million in 2026, and half of his salary in 2027 is fully
05:04guaranteed.
05:06So Barnwell doesn't mind them bringing back Ed Ingram.
05:10He's got an issue bringing him back at $13.5 million a year.
05:14I have an issue with the way he framed that and put the biggest number he could there.
05:19It's a $12.5 million contract per year, if I remember correctly.
05:24So I think that, honestly, that's where guards and centers are getting paid more now.
05:30They're starting to catch up to the tackles somewhat.
05:33I thought that that was a very fair price for Ed Ingram.
05:35Everything he said about, okay, he's a better run blocker than he is a pass protector, that is true.
05:40But in fitting with the theme of what the Texans are trying to do, it's that they've focused really heavily
05:46on run blocking.
05:47And Ed Ingram was one of the best run blockers in the league.
05:49The thing about that philosophy, because I know you should be skeptical of it until you see it actually work
05:55out,
05:55is that by being a better running football team, you automatically make it easier to pass protect.
06:03Just by defenses needing to respect both elements of your game, by making the play action as effective as possible.
06:11But the actual pass protection, Ingram's, I think it's sometimes overstated because of some of Ingram's bad losses.
06:21I think it's overstated sometimes, the criticism of his pass protection.
06:27He's got to clean some things up.
06:29But some of his bad losses are kind of tied to his overall aggressive attitude.
06:33Sometimes he gets overly aggressive in pass protection and goes on the attack when he needs to be more passive.
06:38And that's the price you pay for having a guy that's super aggressive in the run blocking.
06:43That's something I hope Colt Popovich can kind of iron out of his game this year.
06:47It's funny, as I was trying to kind of power rank these moves that the Texans,
06:51I've got 10 moves they made that I sort of power ranked here.
06:54And we'll go through them quickly.
06:55We won't dig into all of them deep.
06:57I found myself, Seth, the two signings, or I guess in the case of Ingram, re-signing,
07:02that they did at guard.
07:03I found myself kind of pushing those down the list just based on them drafting Keelan Rutledge.
07:10Oh, yeah, yeah.
07:11I don't know how fired up to get about Ingram and Wyatt Teller when there's a chance that
07:19one of them could lose their job to a guy they drafted in the first round.
07:24So I found myself kind of pushing those moves.
07:28Not that I don't like the moves, and the Wyatt Teller move was fun because of the timing of it.
07:34Like, he was the last.
07:35You know, they had signed Braden Smith, and at that time, you know,
07:39they still hadn't really found a solution for left guard.
07:41So we're like, well, he can play right tackle, or maybe he plays left guard.
07:43Who knows?
07:44And they re-signed Ingram, so we knew that.
07:47Wyatt Teller was the move where it's like, okay, now it feels like they could trot five out there
07:51that you feel okay about.
07:52And that opened up all the possibilities in the draft, too.
07:56Now they still end up drafting an interior offensive lineman in the first round.
08:00But the Wyatt Teller one, the timing of that one made that one very intriguing.
08:04The other thing, too, and again, this is where I just,
08:07Barnwell's just a tick too nerdy for me sometimes because I'm not convinced he actually
08:12watches any football at all.
08:14And I'm like, that's his niche.
08:17But, man, he's the 20th highest paid guard based on this contract where he was a new,
08:23he was a free agent, an actual free agent this year.
08:26So there's a really good chance if he had gone out in free agency.
08:29Just whether you love him or hate him as a player, like, he was one of the more viable
08:34guards in free agency.
08:35He probably would be higher than the 20th paid guard.
08:37So I can't knock the Texans on doing that.
08:41That thing that's hard to do, which is bring a guy back into the fold before he hits free agency
08:45when he's just a couple of weeks away from potentially really big money.
08:50So for a guy that's the 20th highest paid guard now, by the end of next offseason,
08:54he'll probably be the 30th or 35th highest paid guard.
08:57I thought it was a really reasonable contract.
08:58And it tells me that whatever his process was behind the scenes for the season that he
09:02was a Texan is a sound process.
09:05They like the way he works.
09:06Otherwise, they wouldn't have brought him back.
09:07They had a year of intel on him.
09:09They were able to evaluate him.
09:10And they liked him.
09:11And they've got a pretty good eye for these kind of things.
09:13You know, so here are mine.
09:15I'm going to rapid fire these.
09:17I've got 10 here.
09:18If I were doing this thing, instead of doing Barnwell best move, worst move style, if I
09:23were doing Pendergast power ranking style, number 10, Foster Moreau signing, you know,
09:29fortifying that tight end room, finding a tight end who actually likes blocking, it
09:33seems like, right?
09:35Dalton likes it.
09:36He's just not as good as he'd like to be.
09:38Likes it and he's good at it.
09:39Fair point.
09:39And I think he's better.
09:40When he's healthy, I think he's better than we give him credit for.
09:42Probably so.
09:43But I think Foster Moreau, that made, you know, it's 10.
09:45That made some sense.
09:46Actually, the next two, nine and eight, are the two guard signings we were just talking
09:51about.
09:51I have, bringing back Ed Ingram, nine.
09:54I've got signing Wyatt Teller, eight.
09:57And again, part of that, as I just mentioned, part of that is that I was going through this
10:01process because I took all the moves and I put them on a just randomly list and then
10:05I ranked them all.
10:06I just found myself getting less excited about those knowing they drafted a guard in the first
10:12round.
10:12Like, who could lose their job here?
10:14Or is Keelan Rutledge going to be the center?
10:17And if that's the case, I'm a little nervous about that.
10:20So there's just some trepidation about the whole sequence of the guard.
10:23I like that they got all these bodies in there.
10:25But if I'm individualizing the moves, that's where they are for me.
10:28I have number seven, bringing back Trent Brown.
10:31I actually have that above the signings of the two guards, like bringing Trent Brown back
10:36as a piece, who right now is probably a depth piece, but I think it'll be competitive with
10:40him and Braden Smith at right time.
10:42Well, I think that Leger Duable, however his name is.
10:46Duzable.
10:47Duzable.
10:47Duzable.
10:48I thought he made a really good point that I haven't heard a lot of people talk about
10:51nationally, which is just simply the overall depth of the offensive line.
10:56Nick had mentioned, you're going to have to play eight, nine, ten guys during the season
11:00at some point.
11:01And that's exactly what did the Texans in last year, was when Trent Brown went down, the
11:05offensive line changes completely when you go into that Patriots game without Trent
11:10Brown.
11:11So they clearly didn't have enough quality depth last year.
11:15I think they've got a much better chance of having quality depth this year.
11:18Yeah.
11:18And that line played well when Trent Brown was out there last year.
11:21I think bringing him back on a one-year, $7 million deal, and especially it sounds like
11:24he's got a heightened level of focus on making sure he's head-to-toe healthy coming into the
11:29season.
11:29I don't know what that looks like, but he's at least acknowledging that health has been an
11:33issue for him over the past few years.
11:36Over his entire career.
11:37Yeah, yeah, right.
11:39Over number six on the rankings, I have bringing back Sheldon Rankins on the defensive line,
11:46bringing him back at defensive tackle.
11:47Leader in that room, productive last year.
11:49Yeah, really good underrated re-signing.
11:52That got very little traction elsewhere or anywhere, and I'm offended on his behalf.
11:59I don't know if he's offended by it, but I'm offended.
12:01I'm offended that the blowhards on sports radio like Seth Payne didn't talk more about it.
12:07Well, at a good price, too.
12:08I don't think he's not making nearly what he got in Cincinnati on a two-year deal.
12:13The nice thing about what they did with the defensive tackles, because I would actually
12:17add into this, a guy that's gotten almost no press at all, I really like the Logan Hall
12:21signing.
12:22Yeah, I'm missing that one.
12:23That's one that slipped under the radar for me.
12:25It should be on this list somewhere.
12:26Hardly anybody has talked about it, and I understand why, but this is a starting caliber
12:32interior defensive lineman, but who can also play defensive end.
12:36And I think what they have now with their defensive line goes into something D'Amico
12:44talked about with Caden McDonald after the draft.
12:47There's times where you just really have to stop the run, and sometimes maybe we just
12:51need one of these bigger body guys in there.
12:54Logan Hall is a guy that there's times where, hey, Sheldon Rankins I think is a more impactful
13:00player than Logan Hall is probably going to be, but there's times where you'd rather have
13:03Logan Hall in there because of his run-stopping ability or because he can play a five-technique
13:09defensive end if you need him to.
13:10They have more versatility to solve specific problems against specific teams.
13:17They've got different body types and different skill sets now, much more so than they had
13:22last year.
13:22He should be on my list.
13:23That's a major oversight by me right there with Logan Hall.
13:26He should be somewhere, for me, in that seven to ten range.
13:28That's a good one.
13:30Sheldon Rankins, I have six.
13:32Five and four, I've got drafting Rutledge at five, and I've got drafting Caden McDonald
13:37at four.
13:38Picking those two guys, they're getting a lot of love, the Texans are, especially for the
13:43McDonald pick, getting him where they got him.
13:46They're getting a ... I went through ... I kind of canvassed and tried to figure out what the
13:49most criticized moves were of the offseason, and drafting Keelan Rutledge in the first round
13:54was one of the most criticized moves.
13:56It's been interesting, though, to kind of watch a lot of the draft people backpedal a
14:01little bit and claim that, oh, yeah, yeah, those were actually a really good ... I think
14:06the group think hadn't caught up to what teams actually thought of Rutledge, because after
14:12the draft, you start seeing the anonymous scouts and executives say, actually, yeah,
14:15I had him as one of my three best interior offensive linemen in the draft, et cetera, et
14:20cetera.
14:20So, that's one ... That was a slow ... That was a slow burn on the approval ratings, but
14:27it's ... When I look around now, people approve it a lot more now than they did in the heat
14:32of the moment when they're going by draft rankings.
14:33If I did this list on the day they ... If I did this list five minutes after they drafted
14:38Keelan Rutledge, I probably would have had this further down the list because of that
14:42dynamic.
14:42But the more I've seen some of the experts go through the process you're talking about
14:48with him, and there's just the more I've watched of him myself and learned about him
14:51and watched him operate and seen kind of what his makeup is, at least in terms of how he
14:56loves football.
14:57We'll see what his makeup is as a player when training camp rolls around and they put pads
15:01on.
15:02I like this pick more and more the more I've gotten to learn about Keelan Rutledge.
15:07I don't worry about him being distracted by anything else in the world other than maybe the
15:12fact that at some point he has to go to JCPenney and buy a suit, because he doesn't currently
15:17own a suit or didn't when he was drafted, and he showed no interest in wanting to own
15:21a suit.
15:22But now as an NFL player, there will be times where he has to wear a suit, unfortunately.
15:25I did another set of power rankings that we're not going to do on the show today because
15:29it's too long, but I ranked the NFL players most likely to go to the Met Gala.
15:35Keelan Rutledge was 8,456th on that power ranking.
15:40So that's No. 5 and No. 4 for me, just power ranking the offseason moves.
15:45All right, we're to the top three now.
15:46I put this together.
15:48I took the Braden Smith thing, Seth, and kind of comboed it in this one because Titus Howard
15:54played right tackle for this team, and it looks like Braden Smith's going to play right tackle
15:57for this team.
15:58The sequence of swapping out Titus Howard and bringing in Braden Smith, just sort of the
16:05reimagining, if you will, Seth, of the starting right tackle position for this team.
16:10Because I think Braden Smith, if he's healthy, is going to start for this team.
16:13And because of the makeup part of it, we like Titus personally.
16:19Like, I like Titus personally.
16:20Titus, though, was not...
16:23He was not what Max Crosby described in that cut we played, that curse-laden cut that we
16:28played 12 minutes ago.
16:30Look, he's not nasty, you know?
16:32And he's just fine as a right tackle.
16:35A lot of times, a lot of people got mad at me because I would insist, like, he's fine.
16:40Like, you don't...
16:40He's not awesome.
16:41He's not awful.
16:42He can be part of a good offensive line.
16:45But he's just not as aggressive or effective as a run blocker as a healthy Braden Smith.
16:51So it's just an overall change of the mentality of the offensive line is what they're looking
16:56for.
16:57And Braden Smith is wired a lot more like Ed Ingram is.
17:01So now you've got a couple of guys at right guard and right tackle that are wired the same
17:05way and might do some fun bullying type of things on the offensive line.
17:10So that's fun.
17:12Some of the things they did, honestly, versus the Steelers game when Trent Brown was still
17:17out there, some of the stuff that Ed Ingram and Trent Brown were doing in the run game
17:21was really fun to watch.
17:23They were just having their way with people.
17:24They were resetting the offensive, they were resetting the line of scrimmage.
17:27And I think they're more capable of doing that now with Braden Smith or Trent Brown if
17:31he's playing at some point, whatever it might be.
17:33Yep.
17:34Okay.
17:34Now we're to the top two.
17:36Number two, I have the trade for David Montgomery fortifying the running back position because
17:41I think that part of getting David Montgomery, Seth, is getting a better version of Woody
17:46Marks.
17:46I almost feel like when you traded for David Montgomery, you were trading for one and a
17:51half players, not just David Montgomery.
17:53That's where, and it's funny because we initially last year when they drafted Woody Marks and
18:00we didn't know that Joe Mixon was going to have some mysterious malady, we would talk about
18:05how, hey boy, what you hope for is you get one of these dynamics like they have up in Detroit
18:10with David Montgomery and Jameer Gibbs.
18:13And, you know, fully acknowledging that, look, Jameer Gibbs is a special dude.
18:18Easily, yeah.
18:18I wasn't saying that Woody Marks is going to be as good as Jameer Gibbs, but you want to
18:23have that dynamic.
18:24You've got one of a bone-crushing type dude, then a guy that's a little bit more of an in
18:30-space
18:31receiving threat type of athlete.
18:33They do have that now.
18:34Yep.
18:34One of the guys is actually David Montgomery, but it's also, you shouldn't look at it and
18:41say, oh yeah, it's definitely going to be as good as when those two were both really
18:44humming.
18:45Yep.
18:45So I like that trade.
18:47Number one for me, and I don't know if this would be number one for everybody, but the
18:51signing of Reed Blankenship for $8 million a year over three years, to me, you have very
18:57few weaknesses on that defense.
18:58One of them was safety last year.
19:00And I'm not saying Reed Blankenship is the next coming of Ed Reed or anything like that.
19:04The good Ed Reed, not the Texans version.
19:07But even though they call him Ed Reed Blankenship up in Philadelphia, I just feel like he is
19:13a solid NFL safety that all of a sudden now, if I'm opposing offensive coordinators, I'm
19:17like, okay, well there went the one area to attack on that defense.
19:21Between that and drafting Caden McDonald, the Texans really addressed some things that they
19:26were lacking on that defense.
19:28So that was my favorite one, in part because all the moves they made on offense, there's
19:34still so much of a wait and see element overall with the offense that I can't get overly, overly
19:39excited about a slew of those.
19:41Even though two of the top three I have are on that side of the ball, the Reed Blankenship
19:46one for me, because I'm like, oh, this defense is already good, and now they've got a guy
19:49that can make some plays on the back end to go with Petrie and Bullock in the two corners.
19:54Wow.
19:56So that's number one for me.
19:58The Reed Blankenship is interesting, because that was another one that I saw as one of the
20:02most criticized, or I could find some criticism of the Texans, but it was still kind of a
20:09hemming and hawing criticism just based on that Reed Blankenship wasn't coming off of his
20:13best year.
20:14And there's a lot of reasons.
20:15Eagles fans themselves would say, look, all right, there was a lot going on last year,
20:20it wasn't necessarily that Reed Blankenship had a down year, it was a lot harder for
20:25him to perform the way he had in the past.
20:27So I'm not worried about that.
20:29I don't think they were buying high or anything, that's the other part of it.
20:32If they paid a boatload of money for Reed Blankenship, despite him coming off of a bad
20:38year, then it might raise some eyebrows.
20:41I think they probably looked at it as like, boy, he's coming off of a bad year, but we
20:44really, we really believe in the best version of him, and we feel like this is a pretty
20:49good price for him.
20:50Yeah, text in, I'm curious what the listeners think, best move, worst move, text in 713-572-4610.
20:57You know, the biggest, when it comes to the David Montgomery trade, the biggest criticism
21:01about that was just simply the price tag on it, like how much did you pay for, and it's
21:07funny because when people start arguing that the Texans traded too much, they way overestimate
21:14Juice Scruggs' value.
21:16Yeah, I knew what you were going to say, yeah.
21:18By the points, by the Jimmy Johnson chart, it's equivalent to about a late fourth round
21:23pick, which I'm totally cool with.
21:24Yeah.
21:25Depending on how much you think that Juice Scruggs could have gotten traded for, that's
21:30where, you know, you might, like some people say, no, it's like a late third round pick.
21:33Like, no, like Juice Scruggs was going to be, he would have gotten traded for a sixth
21:37or a seventh round pick.
21:38At best.
21:39Yeah.
21:40He would have been one of those.
21:41There was a really good chance he was just going to get released.
21:43Yeah, released or juice in a seventh for a sixth, one of those deals.
21:46Yeah.
21:47You know?
21:48So, yeah, so that's my ranking right there.
21:50I'm curious.
21:51Text in, I'm curious what the listeners think.
21:52713-572-4610.
21:54A little audio we played yesterday.
21:56Let's play it here, and I'll tell you why in a second.
21:58This was Trent Brown talking about his decision to come to the Texans and play for D'Amico
22:04Ryans.
22:05As a head coach, as a leader, is he the guy that can get this team across the finish line
22:10to the Super Bowl?
22:11Because you've done that.
22:12You've been there.
22:12You've seen it.
22:13You know what I mean?
22:14Like, and I strongly believe in him.
22:16I'm a fan of D'Amico Ryans, but how strongly do you feel about him as a head coach?
22:21You know, last offseason when we first started communicating about me coming to the Texans or signing
22:26with the Texans, bro, I told him that I was a fan from afar, and I'll be glad to go
22:30to
22:30war with him.
22:31You know what I mean?
22:31I do think he's the coach to get us to the finish line, bro.
22:35The energy, the way he shows up to work every day.
22:38You know what I mean?
22:39The accountability, he holds everybody accountable.
22:41It don't look like Bill Belichick, but he holds everybody accountable.
22:45And from coaches on down, you know what I mean?
22:48Like, nobody is above reprimanding.
22:51And so, I think, without a doubt, bro, he's the man for the job.
22:56You know what I mean?
22:58Like, hell, he even getting drills, like offensive drills.
23:02He getting in, like, you know what I mean?
23:03You can do a screen drill.
23:04You do stuff on air.
23:05Like, he'll get over there and give us a look.
23:08And, like, bro, he work out every day.
23:10He's still in shape.
23:10He still look like he can play.
23:12You know what I mean?
23:12So, I think, bro, without a doubt, he's the man for the job, bro.
23:16You know, the interesting thing about just teams in general, not just NFL teams,
23:20is they tend to take on the personality of their head coach.
23:25And that's where, I think, in conjunction with Casario understanding and identifying,
23:32like, basically, I think Casario, he might just have one little less checklist on his process
23:38where, at the very end, he says, okay, is this guy a lot like D'Amico Ryan?
23:42How much is he like D'Amico?
23:43Is he, like, is he an offensive line version of D'Amico Ryan's?
23:47Is he a wide receiver version of D'Amico Ryan's?
23:50And I think it's almost as simple as that.
23:54We should ask.
23:54You've got to look at your metrics and you've got to take the opinion of your scouts and everything.
24:01But I think a lot of it boils down to, all right, is this guy basically D'Amico Ryan's
24:04or some version of D'Amico Ryan's?
24:06We'll get Nick on again before the summertime, before they leave for the summer.
24:09I think that's a fair question to ask.
24:10Like, it'd be funny, but I think you'd give a good answer.
24:13Yeah, are you basically just drafting D'Amico Ryan's?
24:14Yeah.
24:14Is this, Nick, you're not even really putting that much work in anymore, are you?
24:19Yeah, I don't think he'd be giving up trade secrets by saying yes to that.
24:22You know, like, I think we'd get a good answer from him on that.
24:25That was from the Teron Armstead podcast, by the way, audio courtesy of that.
24:30But we played this yesterday and got into a brief conversation about that last part, Seth,
24:35about Trent Brown saying D'Amico still works out every day.
24:38He's in great shape.
24:39And you hypothesize, like, man, I don't think there's a lot of NFL head coaches who are out
24:44of shape these days.
24:45You know, it feels like it's almost a prerequisite for the job to be in some...
24:50I mean, famously, guys like Rex Ryan and others have just, they've gotten bariatric surgery.
24:56Right.
24:57Nowadays, I'm sure a lot of candidates for head coaching jobs are on the Ozempic.
25:00Yes.
25:01It's just, yeah, the standards are different than they used to be.
25:04And the optics seem to matter in this day and age where everything is so visual.
25:07So I, in addition to power ranking all the Texans offseason moves, Seth, I sat down yesterday
25:12and went through the very important work with my wife at the table with me.
25:16We had the iPad out with the standings there.
25:20I put all the 32 NFL head coaches into four buckets.
25:25Yeah.
25:26Okay?
25:27Sounds like you're looking at the buckets right now.
25:29I just, yeah.
25:31The four buckets are elite specimens, 5K demons.
25:36So guys that could look like you could go out and run a 5K and put in a respectable time.
25:41Dad bod nation.
25:42Mm-hmm.
25:43And then tubs of lard.
25:45Yeah.
25:45Okay.
25:46Maybe a little harsh, but we need to distinguish between a dad bod and a fatso.
25:50Hey, these guys have no, these guys have no, they don't hesitate to criticize others.
25:55So, yeah, they criticize guys' body types all day long as part of their job.
25:59Right, right, right.
26:00Now, I'm not going to go, we don't have time to go through all 32.
26:02So I think what we do is do the...
26:04Focus on the tubs of lard.
26:05The tubs, well, there's only two of those.
26:07Ironic.
26:07I think it supports your hypothesis.
26:10Yeah.
26:10The guys are in better shape nowadays.
26:11Both in the AFC, which speaks to the weakness of the AFC right now.
26:15A little bit, a little bit.
26:16The only two tubs of lard that I had are Mike McCarthy of Pittsburgh.
26:22Mm-hmm.
26:23And then Andy Reid, who's actually lighter than he used to be.
26:26He's almost like a tub of lard emeritus.
26:28Yeah, Andy Reid, if he, honestly, if Andy Reid had been a leaner guy in his youth, we might give
26:35him more of a pass right now.
26:37Because now he's just like, because he's a big guy, too.
26:39Well...
26:40You know?
26:40He's a big guy.
26:41He is.
26:42He is.
26:42Because, okay, now you got me telling people to go Google Andy Reid youth because the YouTube of the pass,
26:50punt, and kick competition when he was like 13 and was the size he is now will pop up.
26:56Let's say it is when he was a younger adult.
26:58Yes.
26:58But still, yeah, at times he's, you know, he's lost some more weight as of late.
27:02And, uh, but still.
27:03Yep.
27:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:05So those are the only two tubs of lard that I had.
27:07Mm-hmm.
27:08Um, the, I have five elite specimens when it comes to the coaching.
27:13Five in the entire NFL.
27:13Five in the entire NFL.
27:14Everybody else...
27:15Again, more in the NFC than in the AFC.
27:17Yeah.
27:17Catching out, there's a trend here.
27:19That's why the NFC is a stronger conference right now, probably.
27:22Yeah.
27:22The two in the AFC that I have, and I think nobody will deny either of these.
27:26They're going to see each other twice a year.
27:28Yeah.
27:29They worked together, so they probably worked out together.
27:32D'Amico Ryans, Houston Texans, Robert Sala, Tennessee Titans.
27:35Yeah.
27:36Yeah, guys where you look at them and you think immediately.
27:38They can whoop ass.
27:38Oh, wait, oh, did that guy play in the NFL?
27:40Like, Sala, you'd look at him and he didn't play in the NFL, but you'd look at him and
27:43you're like, oh, is he a former player?
27:44Right.
27:45Um, because they still look like they could, they could, they look like they could play
27:48in the NFL right now.
27:49Absolutely.
27:49Right now, they look like they got 10 snaps in.
27:51They look like they're currently NFL players.
27:52Yes.
27:53Just with a, maybe a couple of crow's feet.
27:54Except for D'Amico, who has the skin of a 17-year-old.
27:58Oh, it's unbelievable, this guy.
28:00Yeah.
28:01All right.
28:02The other three elite specimens that I have.
28:05Dan Campbell, Detroit.
28:08Yeah.
28:09Sean McVay, Rams.
28:11Yeah, I, you know what, I might not have put him there, but I saw him in that interview
28:15with Bustin' with the Boys.
28:16Yeah.
28:16He's pretty yoked.
28:17He wears those, those dry fit long sleeve shirts and it just suits him to a tee.
28:22He looks like a Dick's mannequin.
28:24A little bit.
28:24He does.
28:25He does.
28:26Including his face.
28:27He's got kind of a mannequin face going on.
28:29Yeah, yeah.
28:30The other one I have, and I knew this one probably would offer up some debate, but similar thing
28:35to McVay, where you watch him, you look at him, you go, okay, that guy's in, he's beyond
28:38just being in 5K shape.
28:40Like, he looks like he could do something.
28:41Dave Canales with Carolina.
28:44Oh, that's an interesting one.
28:45Yeah.
28:46I put in head-to-toe Google image for all 32 of these coaches.
28:50Yeah.
28:51So, there was intense research that went on into this.
28:54He does, you know what helps with him, too?
28:56Yeah.
28:56He's got, like, very good posture, and a lot of his pictures, he's, like, standing in
29:00a power pose with his, you know, with his hands on his hips.
29:04Yeah.
29:04So, it gives him, it gives a little bit more alpha to him.
29:06Yeah.
29:07There's almost, between his posture and his power poses, and yes, he is very lean, not
29:13all that muscular, but yeah, that's more than just a 5.
29:16That's a, he's closer to a CrossFit physique.
29:19Yes.
29:19You know?
29:19Yes.
29:20Like, a CrossFitter who's more on the endurance side of things.
29:23Yeah.
29:23Like, he's CrossFit, but he's not trying to win the powerlifting stuff.
29:25He's trying to do some of the endurance.
29:27Probably, put it this way, I think he would beat, I think there's a chance he could beat
29:31any of the 5K demons that I put there in an actual 5K.
29:34And you know what, if you showed me a silhouette, and you told me he was an NFL receiver or
29:37something,
29:38I'd be like, oh, okay.
29:39Yeah, yeah.
29:40So, those are the five elite specimens.
29:42I have five elite specimens, two tubs of lard, and then 25 guys that are somewhere in between,
29:48either dad bod or 5K demon.
29:50I'll tell you the one I struggled with the most.
29:52Yeah.
29:52Kyle Shanahan.
29:54Oh, boy, I'll tell you what.
29:56His, he looks, I know we shouldn't bring faces into this, but he looks all of a sudden middle-aged.
30:02Beleaguered.
30:03Yeah, he looks weathered.
30:05Yes.
30:05Yeah, yeah.
30:06Weathered's a better word.
30:07Yeah, he looks weathered, and that's hard.
30:09But, I don't think, see, unlike Canales, I think Shanahan's very, he's very fit.
30:15Okay.
30:16Live, but he's not muscular.
30:18Yeah.
30:18He has got more muscle to him.
30:20Like, I wouldn't look at Shanahan and think he was an NFL player.
30:22No, no, no.
30:22My struggle was, I actually ended up putting him in dad bod nation, because I'm like, he's not fat.
30:28He's like skinny dad bod.
30:28He's not fat.
30:30Yeah.
30:30And this is pure speculation on me with Kyle Shanahan.
30:33And he looks so overworked that I feel like there's nothing cardio that the guy does.
30:38I feel like he's drawing up ball plays and stressing about things all day.
30:42If I asked you, what's more likely, if you didn't know anything about Kyle Shanahan, you
30:45know what his job was, and you'd say, does this guy stay thin by working out regularly
30:51and watching his diet, or by smoking two packs of cigarettes a day?
30:54No, it's not even a debate.
30:56He's a cigarette guy.
30:57He's on the cigarette weight loss plan.
30:59A hundred percent, yeah.
31:00Yeah, and that's kind of a skinny cigarette body is in a way kind of a dad bod.
31:05I can't put you in a 5K.
31:07Yeah, yeah.
31:08That's a dad bod.
31:10He's a low BMI dad bod.
31:12Yes, yes.
31:12It's just hard to pull off.
31:13Yeah, man.
31:14Okay, good.
31:15I'm glad I did this work yesterday.
31:17I'm glad this was the Lord's work I was putting in yesterday.
31:20The dad bods, you know what?
31:21I get a little bit depressed, you know, because I start looking at myself.
31:24When I look at the dad bod nation, with a lot of those guys, it's unfortunate because
31:29they could totally be in the elite specimen category if they just, you know, if they dialed
31:34like Vrabel.
31:34If Vrabel lost 20 pounds, he'd probably be in that elite.
31:38He would look like an NFL player.
31:40His silhouette would look like an NFL player.
31:42Dan Quinn.
31:43Dan Quinn.
31:43I was a little surprised.
31:45He would be Dan Quinn.
31:45Yeah.
31:46Because Dan, well, I think Quinn, if he worked out, he still works out.
31:49Oh, did Dan Quinn surprise you?
31:50Did you expect going into this exercise that he was going to be dad bod?
31:53No, I expect he's in dad bod.
31:55I expect him to be elite, but I, I thought you put him in a lead.
31:58I didn't know it.
31:59Did he gain some weight this year?
32:00He, he, the pictures I saw, it definitely not elite.
32:03Oh, oh, all right.
32:05I hadn't moved down to the NFC.
32:06I just, oh, Dan Quinn, Dan Quinn.
32:08Dan Quinn.
32:08Yeah.
32:09Yeah.
32:09All right.
32:09I was thinking of Dan, or Dan, I was thinking of Dan Campbell.
32:11Dan Campbell.
32:12No, Dan Campbell's elite.
32:13Dan Campbell's elite.
32:14Dan Quinn, dad bod.
32:15Yeah.
32:15Dan Quinn with Washington.
32:16Yeah.
32:16Sorry about that.
32:17That's okay.
32:17That's okay.
32:18Yeah.
32:18Dan, look, a lot of the former NFL players, obviously, um, those are guys that they're in the dad
32:23bod category, but would be easily if they just maybe lifted a little bit more and ate a little
32:29bit less.
32:30That's exactly right.
32:30It's not hard.
32:31The solution's not hard.
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