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00:09Good day, sir. I'm a weary traveler. Do you perchance have an extra bed or sofa where I could
00:14rest? Alas, I do not. But you're welcome to this hard palette of pine wood. Not to be discourteous,
00:22but I don't think that's pine. I'm pretty sure it is. Whatever. I'll take it. Thank you.
00:30Oh, I am parched. Do you have any water? As a matter of fact, I do. I just fetch some
00:37from yonder stream. Right. So is this the same stream I saw villagers using as a commode?
00:46The very same. But don't worry. The village is many paces upstream. And as the water tumbles
00:52down toward my dwelling, it cleans itself. That's science. Works for me.
01:01Oh, hey, what's this I hear about cholera going around?
01:05Alas, it has felt many of my neighbors. If only we could figure out how it spreads,
01:10maybe we could stop it. If only.
01:18That hits the spot.
01:25Sam Jay, thanks for hopping on. No problem, Mayor Tad. How's the vacation?
01:30Huh? No, no, not a vacation. A working trip for the people of Ulster County.
01:35This man is deeply corrupt. Good for him.
01:39Oh, miss the salty brine of the ocean. Can almost smell it from here.
01:45Pretty sure that's just the wolf urine.
01:47I wanted to thank you two again for helping to get my mayorship back and to let you know
01:51I've sold my controlling interest in Woodstone B&B.
01:55What? Can he do that?
01:57You sold your stake in our business? To who?
01:59Who? Was it to someone famous? Chateau Chalamet has a nice ring to it.
02:03Get a hold of yourself, woman. He's so small, it drives me crazy.
02:07It's a company called Ever Creek Water.
02:10The evil conglomerate that won't pick up our empty water bottles?
02:13Oh, so you know I'm great. Yeah. They just made me an obscene offer.
02:16Well, what does this mean for us? What do they want with Woodstone?
02:19Fair question. So, I've texted you a number. They will answer any questions that you have.
02:25Hope it works out. Thanks again for everything. I said I wanted that flaming. I gotta go.
02:32Great. So this huge corporation that we hate now owns a majority of our home and business?
02:38Should we call the number?
02:39I guess.
02:42Thank you for calling Ever Creek. If you're calling about new service, press 1.
02:47If you're an existing customer, press 2.
02:50If you've received notification about a hostile takeover of your business, press 3.
02:54Oh, 3. Press 3. That's you.
02:58Who's ready to watch some...
03:00Oh, look. The bunker ghosts are here sitting on the couch again.
03:04Hey, Hetty. You guys have been here for like five hours.
03:08Yeah. I mean, I was happy to free you all from your afterlife of eternal servitude to Bruce,
03:12but you're kind of bogarting the TV, man.
03:13Don't you have any bunker commitments you gotta get back for?
03:18Not really.
03:19Ever since the cult disbanded, there's kind of no schedule down there.
03:22It was oppressive, but structured.
03:25Yeah.
03:25All you hear about with cults is the brainwashing and the weird sex stuff.
03:28People don't talk enough about the upsides of a predictable calendar.
03:31Well, can we at least put on bodices and barons?
03:34I believe a new episode just dropped, as they say.
03:37Trevor, do your finger thing.
03:38Actually, we're kind of in the middle of a Houdini documentary.
03:42As you know, I do magic, and we were here first, so...
03:47You were here first.
03:50You were here first.
03:52Yeah.
03:52I built this house.
03:54Well, technically, a group of Irish day laborers built the house, along with a plucky group of orphans.
03:59She's hard to root for, but we love her.
04:00I know you bunker ghosts were just on Earth, so let me explain how things work on this property.
04:06The basement ghosts stick to the basement.
04:08The shed ghosts stick to the shed.
04:09And the upstairs ghosts, well, this is our domain.
04:13Okay, but this documentary's really interesting.
04:16Did you know Houdini died from a punch to the stomach?
04:18Don't give me any ideas.
04:20Okay.
04:24Please continue to hold.
04:25We hope you're having a refreshing day.
04:28Representative!
04:30Representative!
04:30Representative!
04:31We need a representative!
04:33That's what we said to King George.
04:36That's called political humor.
04:38They call this customer service?
04:40When I was a travel agent, I was available for my clients 24-7.
04:43I can't tell you how many times I had to pick up a suitcase in the middle of the night
04:46and drive it out to some guy on the docks.
04:48Babe, do you think that might have been mob stuff?
04:50What?
04:51No.
04:52Yeah, probably.
04:54Thank you for holding.
04:55How can I quench your thirst for information?
04:57Now, look, until they pull a lot of into their entire customer service experience.
05:01Yeah, um, we just found out that our property, Woodstone Mansion, was recently sold to Evercreek, and we were hoping
05:07for some information about what that means.
05:09Of course.
05:09I have that information on tap.
05:12Give me just a quick sec.
05:13I'm scared, babe.
05:15What if they don't want us to run Woodstone anymore?
05:16It's going to be okay, Jay.
05:18I hope.
05:19Okay, I pulled up your file.
05:21So, it looks like nothing's going to change.
05:25For 48 hours, at which point your home will be demolished and construction on an Evercreek data center will commence.
05:31Wait, what?
05:31Is there anything else I can help you with?
05:33Yeah, can you not demolish our house?
05:36I know, that would be great, right?
05:37Let me put you on a brief hold while I look into that.
05:40No, wait!
05:41Please, please, I was taking the best.
05:44What a theme continue.
05:49It is indeed a problem, dear neighbors.
05:52A data center?
05:53On this property?
05:55I guess it's a whole thing.
05:56They like to set up shop in rural areas next to water sources.
06:00Betrayed by the magical creek.
06:02I don't understand.
06:03What does Evercreek have to do with a data center?
06:06I thought they were a water company.
06:07I guess there's been a bunch of mergers.
06:09Now they're also in telecommunications, sports betting, weapons manufacturing.
06:14They also have big presents in beef.
06:16Interesting fact.
06:18I saw something about this on TV.
06:20Those data centers are a scourge.
06:23We can't have that in our community.
06:25Sorry to hit you with all this right when you get back from your RV adventure.
06:29RV adventure.
06:30That's a polite way of saying coast-to-coast sex romp.
06:32It was a glorious trip.
06:34There were just so many nooks and crannies to explore all across this great country.
06:39No one wants to think about that.
06:41There's one reason why we throw elders off cliff.
06:43Anyway, we know you know local ordinances inside and out.
06:47Do you think there's anything we can do to stop this?
06:49Well, there might be.
06:52If a building in Ulster County is designated an historical landmark, it cannot be torn down.
06:58Great.
06:59So how do we get designated as a historical landmark?
07:01Well, you would have to be approved by the county historian, Joe Patterson.
07:06I can put you in touch with him.
07:08Thank you so much for this.
07:09We really appreciate it.
07:10Don't mention it.
07:11Come along, Margaret.
07:13We have an RV to deep clean.
07:15We'll be safer to just burn it.
07:18That's just not right.
07:20Tearing down a mansion to make way for industry.
07:22That is what working class neighborhoods are for.
07:24What is a data center anyway?
07:26I looked this up online.
07:27Apparently, it is just a big warehouse filled with computer parts.
07:32Oh, like a giant radio shack?
07:34Well, that's not bad.
07:35That's kind of great, actually.
07:36I wonder what Tandy version they're up to by now.
07:388,000?
07:39Nine?
07:40No, this is just a giant room that is freezing cold and extremely loud and bright.
07:44Like, all the time.
07:45Well, where will we sleep?
07:47I need my eight hours.
07:49I don't know why I need it, but I do.
07:52I guess we'd sleep in the woods.
07:54Well, you know me.
07:55I love a camp out, but every night for eternity?
07:58Without s'mores or getting to pee on a fire in the morning?
08:01Well, our options are limited here.
08:02These data centers are huge.
08:04Everything is going to be demolished, except probably the bunker.
08:06Oh, well, why don't we just ask the bunker ghosts if we can live with them?
08:09Right.
08:10That may be complicated at the moment, huh?
08:14You mean because you screamed at them and told them to stick to their own domain, which
08:17now you'd be asking to live in?
08:19Well, maybe they're over that.
08:20Or maybe none of this will even matter, because Sam and Jay will find a way to save Woodstone
08:24by outmaneuvering a powerful multinational corporation.
08:28Yep, I better go eat some crow.
08:31Thank you so much for meeting with us, Joe.
08:33As I shared on the phone, our property has been sold to an evil water conglomerate,
08:39and they're planning on tearing it down.
08:40That's a shame.
08:41It's a beautiful old building.
08:43I love how you've kept so many of the original details intact.
08:46Definitely choice, not just because they too broke to renovate.
08:50You know, we were told that if Woodstone is designated a historical landmark, that Evercreek
08:54wouldn't be allowed to demolish it.
08:56The criteria for what qualifies is quite specific.
08:59Woodstone, while grand, is rather run-of-the-mill for mansions of this era.
09:04Dibs on telling Hetty this guy called her house run-of-the-mill.
09:07Okay, well, what would qualify us?
09:09Well, I recently awarded landmark status to a nearby Revolutionary War-era tavern,
09:14Pierre's.
09:15Oh, I spent many an evening there.
09:17The leg of horse.
09:18Mm, so tender.
09:20The meat fell right off the hoof.
09:21But Pierre's hosted a bevy of legendary figures from history.
09:26Ben Franklin was a regular there.
09:27Ben Franklin was a regular at every tavern.
09:29You know what would have been historically significant if he had had a piece of broccoli.
09:33What if I told you someone historically significant actually died here?
09:37That would be very interesting.
09:39That would command my attention.
09:41All right, we all know where this is headed.
09:43Birdie Town!
09:44Have you heard of the famous jazz singer Alberta Haynes?
09:47She was murdered right here at Woodstone.
09:49Actually, I have heard of her.
09:51Yes!
09:51But no, she's nowhere near famous enough.
09:54You son of a bitch!
09:55Oof, that humiliation on par with dying with small, stupid hat.
09:59Ooh, there's also evidence that Isaac Higgintoot died here.
10:03Yes, he was a Revolutionary War officer.
10:05He negotiated the surrender at Fort Ticonderoga.
10:08And he was just across the street during the signing of the Declaration of Independence.
10:14He would have been there, but they started earlier.
10:16Yeah, it doesn't sound great when you line it all up like that.
10:18Tell him about time Isaac turned into Bat and attacked Alexander Hamilton.
10:23That was from the book.
10:24You know that wasn't real, right?
10:27Yes.
10:28Dumbass.
10:30Hey, guys.
10:31See, I told you the water line would take us right here.
10:34Ah!
10:35That was harrowing!
10:36I think a snake went right through my face!
10:37Well, if it isn't the upstairs ghosts.
10:40Eddie?
10:42Uh, I came here to apologize.
10:48I was wrong to lash out as I did.
10:51And truth be told, I was a little, I believe the word is, hangry.
10:56She hasn't eaten since the Grover-Cleveson administration.
10:58The point is, I do deeply regret my behavior.
11:02Yeah, we heard about the data center.
11:03Let me guess.
11:04You all ought to move in here now that they're tearing down the mansion.
11:07Oh, what?
11:08Nothing could be further from the truth.
11:10But now you bring it up.
11:12It is a gracious invitation we happily accept.
11:14I'll tell you what.
11:15We'll let you all move in here.
11:17Except for Hedy.
11:18Hey, man.
11:19Hedy is our friend, and we're not going to abandon her like that.
11:23Indeed.
11:23We are one, and we have spoken.
11:26Well, if that's your choice, then, I respect it.
11:30But now you can move in.
11:32Enjoy huddling together outside in the dead of winter.
11:36Yeah, okay, we'll take the deal, Rob.
11:39Oh!
11:40Apparently, they can't tear down the mansion if someone historically significant died here.
11:44I might be historically significant.
11:46I ate an orange once.
11:49Yeah.
11:50I'm not sure that's going to move the needle.
11:52You should tell them your secret.
11:53Oh, shut it, you sack of turds.
11:55I don't want anyone to know about that.
11:57Not even if it saves Woodstone.
12:01Okay, so you're saying a Viking died here.
12:04That's right.
12:05Which would be extremely historically significant.
12:08It's nice to hear.
12:10And you actually had remains that could prove it, but for some reason, you pushed those remains
12:15out into the middle of a lake and set them on fire.
12:18It was sort of a Viking funeral.
12:20Uh, perhaps the first one in Ulster County, huh?
12:24Is that something?
12:25It is something.
12:27Just not something that can help you hear.
12:28Oh, this isn't good.
12:29We're running out of ghosts.
12:30Anyway, I should probably be going.
12:33Hey, guys.
12:33What's going on?
12:34Oh, uh, what about Pete Martino, who died here?
12:36He was a famous local cuckold.
12:39Okay, not my favorite way to walk into a room.
12:41I'm not sure I know who that is.
12:43And if being a cuckold were enough to get landmark status, my home would have had a plaque years
12:47ago.
12:47Feels like there's a story there.
12:49It was wonderful meeting you two.
12:50I'm sorry this didn't go your way.
12:55What are we going to do?
12:56We are so screwed.
12:59I heard you're looking for someone who's dead and famous.
13:02Well, look no further.
13:05Nancy, what are you talking about?
13:06I've got a story to tell.
13:08Well, it's something I never wanted anyone to know, but if it'll save Woodstone, I guess
13:13now's the time to tell you.
13:15The thing is, I'm a princess.
13:22Jay, Nancy just told everyone that she's a princess.
13:26Okay.
13:27Yeah, we're going to need you to say more.
13:30Nancy's not my real name.
13:31I was born Princess Adeline Marie Dunham of Bedford.
13:38We lived in a castle.
13:40I had servants.
13:41I crapped in a golden bowl the whole night.
13:44Mother, why must I sit for this portrait?
13:47It is most tiresome.
13:49We intend to send it to the Prince of Liechtenstein.
13:53Hopefully, it will make a favorable impression and he will take you for his wife.
13:59But I don't wish to marry him.
14:01I hear he smells bad.
14:03I mean, we all smell pretty bad.
14:05So if you're hearing about how someone smells, that can't be pleasant.
14:09Don't be ridiculous.
14:11It will be a comfortable life of teas and balls with others of the noble class.
14:16It is the life you were born for.
14:18Oh, but those things don't interest me.
14:21I was to cavort by creeps, run in fields, speak plainly, and if I'm being honest, lay with
14:28many different people.
14:30Oh, you're describing the life of a commoner.
14:35So I ran away.
14:36On a royal trip to Canada, I slipped away in the night, ditched my fancy duds, and reinvented
14:42myself as Nancy.
14:43You're the lost princess of Bedford?
14:45I read about that in school.
14:47That was a big deal.
14:48Okay, now that sounds plaque-worthy.
14:51Nancy, why do you never tell anyone?
14:53Because I'm embarrassed.
14:55It was a dumbass thing to do.
14:56What did I think was so terrible, huh?
14:59Eating bonbons all day?
15:01Freaking idiot.
15:01This whole time, Nancy was fancy.
15:05The problem is, Joe is going to want proof.
15:08What about this?
15:10It's got my initials on it.
15:12Nancy has a locket with her real initials on it.
15:15Okay, but how does that help us?
15:16We need the real necklace.
15:18Well, hell, I don't know.
15:19My cholera-ravaged corpse has got to be around here somewhere.
15:22Go rooting around.
15:24So we have to dig up your body?
15:26Okay, I'll go put on my grave-digging gloves.
15:29No need.
15:30They'll see necklace before, and Thor, nowhere to find it.
15:36You people have some nerve.
15:38What are you talking about?
15:40No, seriously, I do need to get caught up.
15:42Hedy, let's be adults about this.
15:44I get that you're upset.
15:45Did someone eat your alfalfa sandwich from the commune fridge,
15:48even though you clearly marked it?
15:50I hate when that happens.
15:51How could you all so quickly accept that offer?
15:53We were simply cutting to the chase.
15:55How exactly do you figure?
15:57Inevitably, you would have told us to carry forth without you.
15:59We would have objected.
16:00You would have insisted.
16:01Back and forth it would go until finally we gave in to your wish.
16:05You're welcome.
16:06This has been a most difficult day.
16:09The thing I spent my life building, my house.
16:11My life's work could very well be demolished,
16:15and it shall be as though I never existed.
16:17And it is in this darkest of hours that my friends choose to forsake me.
16:28Are you two happy with yourselves?
16:30I hope that sandwich was worth it.
16:37Necklace in there.
16:38How do you know that?
16:40Many years ago, Thor watched Hedy's father take necklace off Nancy's dead body,
16:45then give it to Hedy.
16:46Lovely.
16:47He claimed he had it made for her by fine European jeweler.
16:50Hedy keep necklace in there.
16:52Oh my god.
16:53Jay, I think this is it.
16:54Yeah, there it is.
16:56The one thing I kept from my old life.
16:58A.D.
16:59For Adeline Dunham, which is Nancy's real princess name.
17:03Wow, crazy stuff happening in Ghost World today.
17:06But how did Hedy's dad explain those initials?
17:08He said stand for adorable daughter, quick thinking, full thought.
17:13He awful, but wise.
17:18Hey, guys.
17:19I think a groundhog went through my stomach.
17:22Oh, I hate the dirt.
17:24What do you guys want?
17:26We want to talk to you about the whole leaving Hedy out thing.
17:29It's not cool.
17:30Yeah, cults aren't about excluding people.
17:33They're about bringing people in.
17:35Gradually poisoning all of their outside relationships and then not letting them leave.
17:38And while we appreciate you agreeing to shelter us,
17:41we could not abandon our friend to do so.
17:44Okay, sounds good.
17:45Yeah, good luck with everything.
17:46Oh, come on, Bunker Buddies.
17:48Why can't you just take Hedy in?
17:51She hates us and she's so mean.
17:54Yeah, it's very astute.
17:55How about this?
17:57We agreed to take you in, Hedy included.
18:00But we want our TV privileges back.
18:02Even in the event that Woodstone is spared from demolition.
18:05But if Woodstone were to be spared, we wouldn't need your help any longer.
18:09That's their point, Isaac.
18:10They're exercising leverage.
18:11It's something I understand well from my trading days.
18:13You guys know who Jordan Belfort was?
18:15No.
18:16Well, I was at his bachelor party.
18:18So, do we have a deal?
18:23Fine.
18:24And thank you.
18:25We shall be on our way.
18:26Actually, we'll come with you.
18:28There's a six-part Doug Henning documentary I want to jump into.
18:33No groundhogs, no groundhogs, no groundhogs.
18:36Ah, right in my mouth.
18:37Damn, these dirt squirrels.
18:42Thank you again for stepping up in the end.
18:45I truly appreciate your friendship.
18:47No, we could not abandon you.
18:49Can you two keep it down?
18:50I can't hear Doug talk about the wonder of magic.
18:52But next time, don't ever make a deal without me.
18:55You all got hosed.
18:56Yeah, that's fair.
18:57Shh.
18:58Maybe sleeping outside wouldn't have been so bad.
19:01Although nature can be scary.
19:03I was once eaten by a bear.
19:04It was tough to watch.
19:06The cubs were cute, though.
19:08Then they joined in.
19:15Well, this is exquisite.
19:17Late Regency, the period certainly seems to be correct.
19:20And those are clearly the lost princess's initials, right?
19:23True.
19:23But unfortunately, this necklace could have belonged to anybody with these initials.
19:27Joe, buddy, this is close.
19:29Tie goes to the runner.
19:30Plack us up.
19:30I'm just saying it's not conclusive, unlike the text I found on my wife's phone.
19:35We didn't have texting in my day.
19:37Otherwise, I would have figured out the whole Carol-Jerry thing a lot sooner.
19:40They go away for a two-week trip to Bermuda, Pete.
19:43Tell you it was for bowling league.
19:45Okay, there were signs.
19:47Let me know if you're able to find more concrete evidence.
19:52Okay, we need to tie this necklace to Nancy.
19:55Well, this is a long shot, but there's a painting of me wearing it.
19:59What?
19:59Really?
20:00Where is it?
20:01Oh, beats me.
20:02Mother was going to send it to that prince so he could perv out on it.
20:05But then I left, so my best guess is that it's still in my family's castle collecting dust.
20:11I mean, maybe, but it could be anywhere by now.
20:13Nancy says there's a portrait of her wearing the necklace,
20:16but it might be in her family's castle or anywhere, really.
20:20So we have less than 72 hours to track down a 200-year-old painting,
20:23which may or may not still exist.
20:25And if we don't, an evil water conglomerate's going to destroy our home and business?
20:28You know, Sam gets most of the credit for summarizing, but he's not bad either.
20:34What's going on here?
20:36Well, we are scouring photos of Nancy's ancestral home
20:40in the hopes of finding the portrait featuring the necklace that proves that Nancy is the lost princess.
20:44And if we can prove that, Woodstone shall gain landmark status
20:47and be spared from demolition by the rapacious water company Evercreek.
20:50Man, how long was I watching that caterpillar eat that leaf?
20:54Yep, those are my old digs.
20:56You see that window?
20:57That was my bedroom.
20:58And that window was my second bedroom.
21:00And there's my cake room where I stored and ate my cakes.
21:04You lived in a castle filled with cakes and you ran away?
21:08Mistakes were made, Pete.
21:09Who told you to die wearing those shorts, huh?
21:13Nobody's perfect.
21:14Damn it.
21:15No one will pick up the phone at that damn castle.
21:17I don't understand.
21:18Isn't it like a tourist attraction now?
21:20Can't you book tours there?
21:21Well, the website says they do tours,
21:23but it also says come celebrate the millennium with us.
21:26So I'm not sure how frequently they update it.
21:28Somebody must be working there.
21:30I mean, there's recent Yelp reviews.
21:31Dorothy M. raves about the clean bathrooms.
21:34Oh, now that is a welcome change from my day.
21:38All that cake had to go somewhere.
21:40Okay, so no one's picking up the phone.
21:42So now that have you tried sending a telegram?
21:43Or why not a carrier pigeon?
21:45Over the Atlantic, you'd send that bird to a watery grave.
21:49I've sent several emails.
21:50No one will write back.
21:52Look, we have less than 72 hours to find that portrait of fancy Nancy wearing that necklace.
21:57It sounds extreme, but I think we may have to go to England.
22:01I think you might be right.
22:02Oh, it might be advantageous to have Peter join.
22:04He's proven valuable to have on trips before.
22:06Oh, let me check my schedule.
22:09Available.
22:10Great.
22:10Pete's going to join.
22:11A little Thanksgiving redo.
22:13British style.
22:15I'm an I really hate I am.
22:17And I really hate I am I am.
22:21Jay, we should leave for the airport.
22:23Okay, so once again, an elevator is called a lift.
22:25An apartment is a flat.
22:26And a cigarette, now this one's weird.
22:28Okay, Pete, I don't think that's going to come up a lot, but thanks for your help.
22:31Hey, while you guys are over there, can you pop over and check in on my daughter?
22:34And by check in, I mean keep any creepy French guys and their baguettes away from her, if you know
22:39what I mean.
22:41They'll get innuendo big time.
22:44I suppose once we have the proof we need, we could pop to Paris for a quick visit.
22:48Ooh, no can do, Sammy.
22:50I mean, Europe's no hop-skip.
22:51I don't want to press my luck with my ghost powers.
22:53I can't make a bunch of side trips while we're there, or else my baguette will start to disappear.
22:58Once again, tall grasp.
22:59This guy keeping up.
23:01Plus, we got a big date coming up when Pete returns.
23:03The one-year anniversary of when we started dating.
23:06Our first non-facebomb case.
23:08It's a good lesson for the kids out there.
23:10If you try to kiss someone and they resist, just keep trying.
23:13I'm not sure that's the takeaway.
23:15Huh.
23:16Paula.
23:17Ooh, the Hollywood producer?
23:18Get it, Sam.
23:20Hello.
23:21What the hell, did you call me?
23:23No, uh, I think you called me.
23:25This is a hot start.
23:26Trying to copy your email.
23:28They put the damn video button so close.
23:30Why do they do that?
23:31Anyway, I have news.
23:33It's about your movie script, Polar Opposites.
23:36If I had known this was a video call, I would have encouraged a wardrobe change.
23:39But you're doing great.
23:40I showed it to the studio.
23:42They loved it.
23:43Oh, my God, really?
23:45Does that mean they're going to buy it?
23:46Hey, Paula, I just got here.
23:48Hey, Jay.
23:49No, they're not buying it yet, but they want to continue the conversation.
23:53Oh, we're going to be so rich.
23:54Aquarium Wall, here we come.
23:56The studio wants a franchise.
23:58I won't bore you with the details, but basically,
24:00they want to know what the next two films in the P.O. Trilogy are going to be.
24:05I can start putting together some ideas, but can it wait till next week?
24:09I've got sort of a big couple of days.
24:11No, we need to get on a Zoom this weekend.
24:13There was an incident on the set of Christmas in Cabo.
24:16Turns out Mario Lopez does not work with dolphins.
24:20Anyway, they're looking to fast track its replacement.
24:22So, can you do it or not?
24:25Don't worry about England, babe.
24:26I'll go.
24:27You got this.
24:28I'll get to noodling, Paula.
24:30Great.
24:30Thanks, Sam.
24:32All right, Pete.
24:33Looks like it's you and me, buddy.
24:35Let's ride.
24:37How's this going to work?
24:38Didn't Jay almost kill Pete on a trip to the market?
24:41We'll call Kyle.
24:45Now, if you'll follow me, I'll give you a tour of the dungeon.
24:49Hey, hang back a sec.
24:51Man, what a tour.
24:52I can't believe I didn't know the difference between a longsword and a broadsword.
24:55I mean, it's negligible, but interesting.
24:57Have you seen Nancy's painting?
24:59Because I'm starting to realize I don't know what she looks like.
25:02Kyle?
25:03Focus.
25:04Oh, sorry.
25:05I just flew to England at the drop of a hat to help you.
25:07So, excuse me if I need to move a teeth cleaning.
25:10Look at this suit of armor.
25:11How you doing there, tin can?
25:13Not so great, to be honest.
25:14I've got this very specific itch that I haven't been able to scratch for 600 years now.
25:19Well, Jay, there's a suit of armor ghost.
25:22Seriously?
25:23That is so damn cool.
25:25How did he die?
25:25Was it jousting or, like, fighting a dragon?
25:28Sadly, no.
25:29As soon as I got all this stuff on, I was leaning over to scratch me bum, lost me balance,
25:35and
25:35fell down the stairs.
25:37It was a noble death.
25:39Hey, guys.
25:40Um, here in England, we all like to stick together on a tour.
25:45So if you could kindly follow?
25:47Yeah?
25:47Yeah?
25:48That would be brill.
25:49You know, we were kind of interested in seeing some old portraits.
25:52Would that be part of the tour?
25:53Oh, sorry.
25:55There was a big fire in the 70s.
25:58The lady of the house left an unattended crumper in the toaster.
26:02All the tapestries in portraiture were lost.
26:06Anyway, please follow me to the dungeon.
26:08Uh, actually, I think we were just here to see the paintings, so we're probably gonna head out.
26:13So it yourself.
26:14But for five quid, you can take your picture on the rack.
26:19I mean, the painting thing is obviously a setback, but take it from a guy who's been to his share
26:23of Ren Fairs, you're not gonna find a better rack price than that.
26:28We need that Nancy painting.
26:31This is a disaster.
26:33What are we gonna do?
26:34I think there's a gift shop.
26:36Maybe they sell a book with a picture of Princess Adeline's portrait.
26:39I also wouldn't say no to smelling a bag of prawn crisps.
26:42You're looking for Princess Adeline's portrait?
26:45Yeah.
26:45We actually know her.
26:47She goes by Nancy now, and she's dressed in a potato sack.
26:49Oh, I would kill to have died in a potato sack.
26:52Oh, I bet she's just able to itch everywhere, huh?
26:55Yeah, and she does.
26:58Well, is the suit of armor saying something?
27:00Can you ask him how he went to the bathroom in that thing?
27:02Was it a complete removal, or is there a little latch?
27:04I know the portrait you speak of.
27:06He's saying he remembers the portrait.
27:08Is she wearing this necklace in it?
27:11Yes.
27:12Yes, that very one.
27:13But despite what the tour guide said, it was not destroyed in the Great Crumpet Fire of 1973.
27:19That's because a few years before the dread event, it was donated to the Museum of England in London.
27:24He's saying it didn't burn.
27:26It's in a museum now.
27:28Amazing.
27:29All right.
27:29Well, let's go take that picture on that rack, and then we can get going.
27:32You don't even show up in pictures.
27:33Yeah, but I'll know I was there.
27:36Hey, guys.
27:37What's going on?
27:38Sam's waiting to see how the studio liked her pitch for what a polar opposites trilogy might look like.
27:42She have high hopes, even though things generally not work out for her.
27:46Honestly, it's kind of sad.
27:49You got this.
27:52Well, I've got good news.
27:53You killed that pitch, Sam.
27:56Really?
27:57They like it?
27:58That's amazing.
27:58They have a few thoughts, but nothing that's going to be that hard to execute.
28:02This is all great to hear, Paula.
28:04We'll ideate and then talk next steps.
28:05And I've got more good news.
28:07Have you ever heard of Aline Brush McKenna?
28:10She wrote a little movie called Devil Wears Prada.
28:13I love that movie.
28:15It's a inspiring story of Anne Hathaway overcoming boring boyfriend who only talked about Goldsberg.
28:21Yeah, I love that movie.
28:23What about Aline?
28:24Well, we're in talks to have her do the rewrite and hopefully the sequels.
28:28I'm confused.
28:29You want someone else to write my movie?
28:33What are you doing?
28:34It's Thor's impression of Dragon Lady when she not like Dress from James Horde collection.
28:38Look, this is a win.
28:40They still want to buy your movie.
28:42I don't know.
28:42I need to think about it.
28:44Okay, but if you're not okay with us bringing someone else in, this whole thing could go away.
28:48Thank you, Paula.
28:49I'll be in touch.
28:50Yeah, we're going to huddle on our end and we'll ping you back by EOD tomorrow.
28:57Hey, sorry to bother you.
28:59We're looking for a painting that we didn't see on display in the museum.
29:02Give me a second.
29:03And I'm reeling in a big fish on a dating app.
29:06She's a bit older.
29:07Still fit.
29:09Sure.
29:10Good luck with her.
29:11You know, they should really slap a content warning on that antiquities wing.
29:15Some of the scenes depicted on those urns.
29:18I mean, what was that swan doing to that lady?
29:24Archives.
29:27Peter.
29:29Oh, my God.
29:30Amenhotep.
29:31I think Pete ran into one of his friends, Amenhotep.
29:34Mummy ghost.
29:35Nice.
29:36He tried to destroy my squash with locusts, but we're cool now.
29:40What are you doing here?
29:41My mummified remains are part of a touring exhibit.
29:43Kind of the centerpiece, actually.
29:45It must be difficult being separated from your wife again so soon after being reunited.
29:50It is not the worst thing to get a little space.
29:53When you are apart from someone for three millennia, you tend to focus on their good qualities and forget how
29:57much they talk about cats.
30:01Hey, uh, sorry.
30:02We're looking for a portrait of Princess Adeline Marie Dunham of Bedford, and it would have been donated in the
30:08early 70s.
30:09Adeline Marie Dunham of Bedford.
30:14Ah, yes.
30:16I'm seeing the donation, but the whole collection was thrown into archives without being digitized or catalogued.
30:23Could be anywhere back there.
30:25Can we go in there and look?
30:26Of course.
30:27We love letting strangers go back there and root around our priceless treasures.
30:31I'm pretty sure he's being sarcastic, although it is hard to tell.
30:34They are dry here.
30:36Peter, what if we were to enter the archives and take a look ourselves?
30:39That's true.
30:40We're ghosts.
30:40That shouldn't be too hard.
30:41Back in a gif?
30:50Oh, golly.
30:52This is like the end of Raiders.
30:54What is Raiders?
30:55Oh, it's about this really cool guy who goes to ancient Egypt to steal a bunch of priceless antiquities and...
31:02You know what?
31:03It's, uh, it's not that good, actually.
31:04I didn't really care for it.
31:08Okay, we are running out of time to find this painting, and you remember what Nancy looks like, right?
31:14Yes, I met her at Woodstone on Halloween.
31:16She propositioned me while wearing a potato sack.
31:19That's our girl.
31:21All right, why don't you take the crates on the right, I will take the ones on the left.
31:24Peter, what's wrong with your hand?
31:28Oh, that's not good.
31:30I start to disappear when I'm away too long from Woodstone.
31:33I reform when I get back on the property.
31:36Well, what happens if you don't make it back in time?
31:38I actually don't know.
31:40Peter, perhaps you should leave now.
31:41No, this is too important.
31:43I'll be okay.
31:44I have enough time.
31:45Please, don't mention anything to the livings about this.
31:48Jay's dealing with enough already.
31:49Yeah, let's do this.
31:52Okay.
31:54Nope, just more Greek smut.
31:57How did they invent democracy when they were carrying on like that?
32:00I mean, where did they find the time?
32:04So, what do you guys think I should do?
32:06You gotta tell those movie people to take a hike, Sam.
32:09Agreed.
32:09You cannot give in.
32:11Be like if Andy not returned to work after a makeover montage with Tucci.
32:15Let me tell you this story about Mr. Sylvester Stallone.
32:19Did you know when he was trying to sell the screenplay for Rocky
32:22that they only wanted it if he didn't play Rocky?
32:25Is that true?
32:26But he stuck to his guns.
32:28And in the end, it was him punching beef in that freezer.
32:32It was him going 15 rounds with the champ.
32:34It was him falling in love with that,
32:37actually, frankly, very weird girl from the pet store.
32:40Trevor's right, Samantha.
32:41All of us guys carry regrets with us.
32:44Those shots we did not take.
32:47Those rails we did not snort.
32:49Amen.
32:49You know, I used to think that this house and all the things in it were what mattered.
32:54But now that it might be taken away from me,
32:58I realize that you, Samantha, are my true legacy.
33:02You never know what life will bring.
33:04So you need to seize the opportunities when they present themselves.
33:07Agreed.
33:08Many people said I didn't have what it took
33:10to pull off a strategic surrender at Fort Ticonderoga,
33:13but I didn't give up.
33:14Isn't a surrender literally giving up?
33:16Yes, but with honor.
33:18And having secured enough horse meat for all my men,
33:22which was a huge morale boost,
33:23although not for the men in the cavalry.
33:25It was sort of a nightmare scenario for them.
33:27I think what Isaac's trying to say is,
33:29this is your moment, Sam.
33:30Yeah.
33:31You only regret the bears you didn't hug.
33:34Wait.
33:34No.
33:35Yeah.
33:36Wait.
33:37You guys are right.
33:39I know it's a risk, but I got to stand my ground.
33:43Oh, yeah.
33:45This like moment when Andy returned from desk,
33:47successfully wearing Chanel books.
33:50Triumphant.
33:51You are one weird damn back in.
33:54Okay, Winston, this text is not bad,
33:56but you're going to want to pull it back
33:57with all the exclamation points.
33:59Way too thirsty.
34:00But I am thirsty.
34:01Still, maybe throw some typos in there
34:03so you look like a busy happening guy.
34:07Busy happening guy.
34:08I do not have a lot of game.
34:10We found the painting.
34:11Nancy wearing the necklace.
34:13Aisle 37, box 9.
34:19Archives.
34:20They found the painting.
34:21Great, but we still need a picture of it.
34:23We got to distract this guy
34:24so that we can get into the archives
34:26and take a photo of that painting
34:27to send back to Sam.
34:29Right.
34:29But how?
34:30Kyle could engage him in some short-form improv,
34:32or Jake could fake a heart attack,
34:34or there's always the tried-and-true pointing
34:36and saying,
34:36hey, what's that over there?
34:37Pete has some ideas.
34:38They're not great, though.
34:40What if I use my ghost power
34:41to summon a swarm of locusts
34:42to descend upon the museum,
34:44distracting him away from his post?
34:45Yes.
34:46And then Pete and I can slip in undetected.
34:50The mummy is going to do locusts.
34:52Oh, hell yeah.
35:02Yeah.
35:04I'm going to have to put you on a brief hold.
35:10What the hell is that?
35:13And I may not have written several beloved films yet,
35:16but I know that there is greatness within me.
35:18I just need the chance.
35:21You know what?
35:22You got balls, kid.
35:24Okay.
35:24From her tone,
35:25I'm thinking the testicle statement
35:27is one in our favor.
35:28What the hell?
35:29The job is yours.
35:31What?
35:32Really?
35:33Congratulations on selling your first screenplay.
35:36And don't screw up the trilogy.
35:37Oh, my God.
35:38Thank you, Paula.
35:39I won't let you down.
35:40Yeah, this is great news.
35:42Send the paperwork over,
35:43and we'll have our people hash out the details.
35:44Oh, it's a text from Jay.
35:48I found the paycheck.
35:49Uh, I got to go, Paula.
35:51Oh, interesting.
35:53Big shot now, huh?
35:54That's fine.
35:55I've got stuff to do, too, you know.
35:59Yeah.
36:00Oh, look at that.
36:01The little troll's really a princess.
36:05Thank you for coming out on such short notice.
36:07We are right up against the deadline with Ever Creek.
36:09It's no problem at all.
36:10Well, I have a lot of free time
36:12since my wife started sleeping with Matthew,
36:14her Pilates instructor.
36:15I'm not going to lie.
36:16I'm worried about Joe.
36:18So, what do you think of the painting?
36:20Deft redirect, nicely done.
36:21I think you're going to be very pleased.
36:23This painting is conclusive evidence.
36:24This necklace belonged to Princess Adelaide.
36:26Yes!
36:27So you're saying that you now believe
36:29that she died here at Woodstone?
36:30Because Stuart gave me poop water.
36:33Indeed I am.
36:34I hereby declare your property
36:36is a historic landmark,
36:38and as such, it is immune to redevelopment.
36:41Oh, thank God my life's work.
36:43My true legacy is saved.
36:46Wait, what about all that business
36:47about Sam being a true legacy?
36:49I was coping.
36:50I mean, she's great, I guess, also.
36:53But thank God my house has been spared.
36:56Long live this shrine to my greatness.
37:00So now what?
37:01Do you, like, stamp something,
37:02or how do we make it official?
37:04Oh, I just have to go back to my office
37:05and fill out a form.
37:07But that won't be a problem,
37:09seeing as I sleep there now.
37:11Oh, come on, Sam.
37:12One follow-up question.
37:13The man's just looking for
37:14a tiny bit of human connection.
37:18Well, thank you.
37:19Take care.
37:24She caught it in the ice
37:26out the coast of Hornigsvog.
37:28It's a very cold place.
37:31So, yeah, he just looked at the picture
37:33you guys sent and said we were good.
37:35So now Evercreek can't demolish the mansion.
37:38This is great news.
37:40Less important, but still worth sharing,
37:42the archivist texted me.
37:44Him and Linda are at the pub
37:45hitting it off.
37:46What does that mean?
37:47That means your man's texting game
37:49is still on point.
37:50Not something a wife loves to hear.
37:52Oh, tell Pete I can't wait to see him.
37:54Alberta says she can't wait to see Pete.
37:57Just tell her I can't wait to see her, too.
37:59And don't mention my arms.
38:01I don't want anyone to worry.
38:04He says he can't wait to see her, too.
38:08And more big news.
38:10Polar Opposites sold.
38:11Oh, my God.
38:12Babe, that's awesome.
38:14The studio loved the pitch for the trilogy,
38:16and Paula wants me to write it.
38:17Wants is a little strong.
38:19I'd say settle for is more accurate.
38:21But still a win.
38:23This is incredible.
38:24The thing is,
38:25I'd probably have to be out of town
38:26for a little bit for the shoot.
38:27How do you feel about that?
38:29Oh, yeah, it'll be hard.
38:30But, babe, this is your dream.
38:31We'll make it work.
38:32Yeah, yes, it'll be very hard.
38:35Hey, what about Kyle as a ghost sitter
38:36while you're gone?
38:37Oh, my God.
38:38That'd be amazing.
38:39Kyle is the best.
38:41Kyle.
38:42Kyle.
38:43Kyle!
38:45It'll probably be pretty hard
38:46for the ghosts, too, I imagine.
38:48Yeah, they're pretty upset.
38:50Kyle!
38:51Kyle!
38:52Kyle!
38:52Hey, uh, what if Kyle came
38:54and stayed for a while?
38:56Oh, that's an interesting idea.
38:58Hey, I might actually have something to do.
39:01Do you?
39:02Well, I mean, no,
39:03but I could have.
39:08Okay, thanks very much.
39:11Great news.
39:12They're letting you return that sweater?
39:13No, that was Evercreek.
39:15Since they can no longer use Woodstone
39:17as a data center,
39:17they're selling it back to us
39:19at a reduced rate,
39:19and they're calling the property
39:20essentially useless.
39:22Yay!
39:23And how dare they?
39:24So, can you afford to buy back?
39:26Sing, how's you are.
39:27Famously poor.
39:28Well, I happen to have
39:29an ace up my sleeve.
39:31Finally selling those fate picks.
39:32Good for you.
39:33No, I'm talking about the payment
39:34I'm getting for Polar Opposites.
39:36Hope there'll be a little left over
39:37for that movie theater-style
39:38popcorn machine.
39:40Oh, uh, yes.
39:41That is next on my to-do list.
39:43It's just that it was sort of
39:44the centerpiece of my whole
39:45acceptance speech
39:46when I became ghost representative,
39:47and if you make me look like a fool,
39:50I'm going to destroy you.
39:51Also, congrats on the movie.
39:52That's so great.
39:53Sam, have you heard from Jay?
39:54They're supposed to be back by now.
39:55I know their flight was delayed
39:57taking off due to a swarm of locusts
39:59in the London area.
40:00I'm in Hotep.
40:01He gives with one hand
40:02and takes with the other.
40:03Oh, Pete's okay.
40:04This is really pushing it.
40:05They landed 40 minutes ago.
40:06They'll be back any second.
40:07He's going to be fine, Bertie.
40:10Pete!
40:11How's he doing?
40:13Uh, it's going to be close, Jay.
40:16Hang in there, buddy.
40:16We're going to get you home.
40:18Here I go again on my own
40:21Going down the only road
40:23I've ever known
40:24I sing Whitesnake when I'm nervous.
40:27It started when I was nervous
40:28at a Whitesnake concert.
40:30A lot of people close together
40:31and those bathroom lines.
40:33Yeah, those are tough.
40:35Let's get home fast, okay, Jay?
40:37We're going to get you there, Pete.
40:39We're only a few minutes away.
40:40Here I go again on my own
40:43Going down the only road
40:46I've ever known
40:47Like a drifter
40:49I was born to walk alone
40:53Pete?
40:55Oh, no.
40:56Pete!
40:57What?
40:57He's gone.
41:05Hey, have you missed any episodes of Ghosts?
41:08What?
41:09No problem.
41:10They live on.
41:11Ah!
41:11On Paramount+.
41:12Ooh, yes!
41:13Let's go!
41:14I'd watch that.
41:15Ghosts.
41:15All episodes now streaming
41:17on Paramount+.
41:23Oh, my God!
41:25I've got this.
41:26Are you vampires?
41:26Is that why none of you age?
41:29Oh, hey, guys.
41:30From the mortals
41:30who brought us ghosts
41:31Eternally Yours
41:33New CBS 4
41:34I am with the police.
41:36Are you for real?
41:37Patti LuPone
41:38and Michael Urie guest star
41:39Very exciting.
41:40On the season finale
41:41of Elle's Beth
41:42CBS Next
41:43and streaming on Paramount+.
41:44Outro
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