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00:00Tonight I would give my left tip to go on this date
00:03Okay, David's date goes off the rails. Are we trying to figure out who's the tunnel and who's the train?
00:09No
00:12PK has a shocker. Have you ever kissed on the first date? I don't usually kiss on the first date.
00:18Oh shit
00:19And a massive plot twist
00:22Kerry Katona is back. I don't feel like I've had sex with Paolo. I feel like I've been made love
00:28to
00:30Slow clap. It's quite a lot quicker than that.
00:34As our celebs, you never get spots. I never really get them, but I've got one under the skin. Is
00:38this the flirting that they were training you to do?
00:40Go. Have I got like a skin disease? It looks nice. Dating. Are you gonna find love?
00:47Um, well, that's the plan to find the next person really. So, are you? The next person? The next person.
01:00Welcome to Celebs Go Dating. Today the agents are already in and prepping. Because boy oh boy have we got
01:08a humdinger for you today.
01:10What's that?
01:12Come on Tom, tell them.
01:14Kerry and Paolo are coming in.
01:17Oh yes, the Kerry Katona and Paolo who met last year at the agency. They fell hopelessly in love to
01:24become the biggest success story this place has ever seen.
01:28Ten years. Take your time guys.
01:30What are they selling? I mean, what do they need?
01:32Subscribers pull if you know what I mean. I think it's just a really lovely progress report.
01:38And they've moved in together since last year, so how has that been?
01:42They have a very unique lens to share of what it's actually like when a celebrity and a non-celebrity
01:48get together, they're now approaching a year together and I think we're all very curious to know how it's working
01:53and to give us the insight on any challenges they may have had and how we can possibly help.
01:58And then also coming in, earlier stages, but quite exciting, Stephen after his second date and then PK after a
02:06date, so they're going to have a lot to say, I'm quite sure.
02:10Yeah, they've both got very different challenges. And Stephen has been a slow burner.
02:15And PK's a Brunson burner and that's why I love him.
02:19Yes.
02:20Well, he's causing mayhem.
02:22Oh, is someone going to be getting a scolding from the old Brunson burner?
02:26Yes, yes.
02:27P-Dog's going to be dishing out the heat today.
02:32And we won't be waiting long because here he is. He was banned from Bumble. It's PK Humble.
02:39Hello, Celebrity Dating Agency.
02:42Yes, PK.
02:43Mr. Humble.
02:55How you doing, Tom?
02:56I'm swell. How are you?
02:59Good to see you.
03:01Lovely to see you.
03:03Good to see you.
03:03That's a heady aroma.
03:05Oh, yeah.
03:05I just got a little something con.
03:07That'll be the Lynx lower body spray.
03:10Coconut and sandalwood.
03:12Shh, shh.
03:12Stings good.
03:13You should be my wingman, you know.
03:15I should.
03:16But I'm saying, if you're my wingman and we're out, I feel like I'll get even more girls.
03:22I wouldn't bank on it. The last time I used Tom as a wingman, I ended up in the basement
03:26of a club called the Stink Bunker.
03:28Sticky floors.
03:29Well, I'm really excited to see PK because the last time I saw him, I mean, he was a total
03:34F-boy.
03:35I literally said, if I open a dictionary, your face will be next to it, PK.
03:41Is he whistling?
03:43Yep, he's doing his old-fashioned policeman impression again.
03:46Come on in.
03:48Hello, hello, hello.
03:49Hello.
03:50Were you whistling out there?
03:52Yeah, I was.
03:53Wow, just having a fantastic day.
03:55Ooh, a sarcastic Dr. T. I like it.
03:58Hi.
03:58It's sunny outside, hello.
04:00On his last date with sheep farmer Ellen.
04:02Hello.
04:03Hello, hello, hello.
04:04Hi, yay.
04:05You all right?
04:06Despite a promising start.
04:07You smell nice.
04:10So do you.
04:10Oh, do I, yeah?
04:11Yeah.
04:12It wasn't long until PK whipped out his flirt.
04:15Yeah, I do like that.
04:16I do like that.
04:18I want to shave you.
04:19And had everyone in the restaurant asking just what the flop was going on.
04:23You're shaving the back part.
04:24Right here?
04:25Yeah, and then you're going along the legs.
04:27OK.
04:29I did try and do what you lot said.
04:31I was very, very emotional, intelligent.
04:35Not sure they're buying that, PK.
04:37But I just weren't that interested.
04:38That was the problem.
04:39Were you physically attracted to her?
04:41I wasn't wild.
04:42All right.
04:43What do you think she thought of you?
04:45She probably thought I was attracted to her.
04:48Why?
04:48Because I'm just naturally a flirt.
04:51So you can't help it?
04:52Ah, flirting, no.
04:54But I wouldn't say I led her on.
04:56Mate, you roleplay cheering each other.
04:58So we have feedback from Ellen.
05:00Yeah.
05:01What did you like about PK?
05:03How confident he was?
05:05What did you not like about PK?
05:08I hope that his intentions aren't to just have a flame.
05:14The biggest issue that I have with you on this date is you led her on.
05:19Mm-hmm.
05:20Yeah.
05:21So emotionally, she's now thinking there's something else.
05:25But I feel like she's to blame as well.
05:27I feel like I'm getting too much of the blaming.
05:29I think it's 50-50.
05:31Now, if you are not clear about your intentions with someone, and they misconstrue your intentions,
05:40what kind of position does that put you in?
05:42A bad one.
05:43A bad one.
05:44That's why I'm always clear.
05:46No, no.
05:46But see, you weren't clear on this.
05:47Now, let me even push further.
05:49Yeah.
05:49This is just us talking.
05:50Do you think as a black man, does that put you in an even further precarious situation?
05:56100%.
05:57100%.
05:58It is important for you to be crystal clear with your intentions.
06:03You can't have anybody misconstrue anything about you because you have greater liability.
06:10I hear you.
06:11That's fair.
06:12Look, flirting can be harmless and fun.
06:14But for PK, as a young black man, the stakes are different.
06:18And I know this personally.
06:20His behavior could be quickly misread and misinterpreted.
06:25This is the reason why his communication needs to be incredibly clear.
06:30When it comes to love and relationships, I think you're a traditional player.
06:36And I think until you accept the fact that you are a player, you'll never change.
06:42Brutal.
06:43When I meet someone that I feel like I can give them that love, then I feel like I'll change
06:50100%.
06:51I believe that when you are armed with the right information, you will make the right decisions.
06:57But I think you also need to have the right motivation.
07:00To your point, if I have the right person, I'll change.
07:02I think you have to realize that what you're learning here is you are making yourself better to attract the
07:09right person.
07:10So it's not like the right person shows up and then all of a sudden, boom, you know, you're Superman
07:15out here.
07:16It's you become Superman.
07:22It's working, Paul.
07:24It's working.
07:29There you go.
07:30There you go.
07:31Are you ready?
07:33I'm feeling like I'm ready to be responsible.
07:35It's just about finding that balance of toning it down and not being too flirty.
07:41Yeah, being mature about it.
07:43This is good.
07:44Thank you very much.
07:46All right, we'll see you.
07:52You just, like, can't not like him.
07:55Like, he's so charming.
07:56He's charming, but I tell you what, doesn't it feel like work?
08:01Back downstairs.
08:02Oh, look at him.
08:03He's been standing like that for half an hour in desperate anticipation for the happy couple.
08:09Well, let's not put it off any longer, people.
08:11Cue the power ballad.
08:14And here they are.
08:16It's Kerry, ka-flippin' tona, and her tiny little lover man, Paolo.
08:21Hi, Tom.
08:23It's Kerry.
08:24I'm Paolo.
08:26Hi, Tom.
08:26He's not in the box, Paolo.
08:39Oh, it's so satisfying to have a couple return to the agency arm in arm, shrouded in a cloak of
08:47affection.
08:47It reminds one that Cupid does occasionally find his target.
08:53You have never looked more beautiful.
08:56I think happiness is the world's greatest beautifier.
08:59It is.
08:59I think that's what it is.
09:00It is.
09:00It's the greatest medication in the world, being happy in it.
09:02Oh, my God.
09:03Look at your countenances.
09:06They're carved as mother of pearl.
09:08Oh, I feel like we've lived a whole life since we've been here.
09:12There's so much has happened.
09:13So much has happened.
09:14Well, it's a whole year.
09:15It's a long time.
09:17I'm normally, I'm married and divorced by now.
09:21We're taking this on a bit slower, aren't we, love?
09:23Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?
09:24So I'm doing something right.
09:26Are you still doing all those wildly romantic things and leaving blooms and notes everywhere?
09:31Yeah, I'm very romantic about that.
09:32Very thoughtful gestures.
09:34And like we've got, like, bracelets because I go away on tour a lot.
09:37Oh, my God.
09:37If I miss him, I press it and he can feel it and vice versa.
09:42What, it vibrates?
09:43Yeah, when we're far away from each other.
09:45She can make you oscillate from afar now.
09:47Wherever she is in the world, she can make you vibrate.
09:50Yeah, well, I can make you, yeah.
09:52Oh, yeah.
09:53I don't stop pressing it, do I?
09:54Dara, I love that.
09:56Damn right she would.
09:57She's actually on her vibrator break now.
10:00Oh.
10:01Because upstairs, Anna's now joined by the Brun dog in preparation of the return of Tezza.
10:06You're in chill mode today.
10:08Yeah.
10:08I'm getting my last moments of peace before the tornado hits the room.
10:13Batten down the ashes, Paul.
10:15Hurricane Katona is about to roll in.
10:19Hello.
10:20Hi, T.
10:21Terry and Paola.
10:22I never thought I'd be saying that again.
10:24Send them up, please.
10:25Oh, no.
10:26I want permanent custody.
10:29It's all brilliant.
10:31This is heaven.
10:33It is.
10:34Oh, gosh.
10:35Do it again.
10:36Please don't.
10:37Just get up those stairs.
10:38Here we go, Liz.
10:41Ah!
10:45Kerry Katona.
10:46Now, if you had told me 12 months ago that she was going to be our standout success story,
10:51I wouldn't have believed you.
10:53But, lo and behold, here they are.
10:56Have a seat, guys.
10:57Come and take a seat.
10:58And as agents matching celebrities with non-celebrities, it's really important that we check in on
11:03them just to see how merging those lives is going and what impact it may have had on the
11:08people around them.
11:09We are so excited to see you, babe.
11:13I mean, we sort of birthed you.
11:16We did.
11:16You're so wrong.
11:18I'm so willing.
11:19Not since Pete Wicks and Sam Thompson have we birthed out of our faginee another bona fide
11:25couple.
11:26I knew Pete Wicks would have got inside Anna's faginee at some point.
11:30Sorry.
11:32Kerry got off to a shaky start last year.
11:37Until the agents paired her with spunky, peaty toy boy, Paolo.
11:42I've got to say to you it's my favourite date to the bar.
11:45Who started off on the right foot, then moved up the body to lip lock after lip lock, finally
11:51making Kezza feel...
11:54Thank you, kittens.
11:55I'm just so grateful that I did this journey.
11:58Yes.
11:59And now I could not imagine life without this man.
12:02It's been nice, hasn't it?
12:02Yeah.
12:03I mean, there's just so much to unpack with you both.
12:06But what has been the reaction that you've had from the public?
12:09Have they been rooting for you?
12:11Massively.
12:11I found it really overwhelming.
12:13Really?
12:14I think since I joined the agency, people seeing me for who I really am rather than just reading
12:20a headline.
12:21And people actually watching me fall in love.
12:24And the support I've had from people, it's been so overwhelming for people to be so invested
12:30in somebody who I've chosen to love.
12:34And it's been really overwhelming.
12:37I'm not sure how to deal with it.
12:40Because life's so good.
12:42It was unexpected as well.
12:43So unbelievable that it scares me.
12:46Oh, Keza, go on, girl.
12:48You deserve it.
12:58Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
13:01The last celeb of the day is about to arrive at the agency.
13:04It's Professor Stephen Manderson Green, who's had an absolute howler with the old toilet
13:09that this morning by the looks of that top.
13:12Bleachy, bleachy.
13:13Hello, Celebrity Dating Agency.
13:15Hello, Stephen.
13:16Oh, Stephen.
13:17You're now with OPP, yeah, you know me.
13:20You're now with OPP, yeah, you know me.
13:22You're now with OPP, yeah, you know me.
13:25How are you doing?
13:26Oh, I'm...
13:27Well, it's really nice to see you.
13:30Oh, lovely.
13:31Oh, thank you.
13:32I felt a little bit of a boy after your own let's go into the park and get fit heart.
13:40Because I did a first complete muscle-up.
13:43Have you ever done one?
13:44You've done a muscle-up?
13:44I've never done a muscle-up.
13:45What the hell's a muscle-up?
13:47I could only do one.
13:48Fair enough.
13:49But there was a Herculean trainer and he was very, um...
13:52Inspiring.
13:52Yes, his name's Willie and I like Willie's carrot.
13:57My trainer's called Greg and I love his sausage roll and his thick dick.
14:02And Willie just coaxes me with his giant carrot and he says,
14:05you can do more, you can do more, I know you can do more.
14:07Let's leave that image there and head back upstairs
14:09to the beautiful love story that keeps on giving.
14:13We do this for a living, you know, in therapy.
14:15So everyone always is, you know,
14:16oh, you guys must have brilliant marriages, you must be perfect.
14:19And then, and you'll kind of be on a day when someone will say that to you
14:22and you know we've had a bloody good argument about something
14:25and you kind of go, oh, and it's really hard.
14:27But the kissing and the making up...
14:29The intimacy.
14:30...is, I'll be on the intimacy.
14:32I'll say a bit more PG.
14:34What do you want to say, fights?
14:35Keep it clean in the...
14:37Keep the fights clean.
14:38Keep the sex dirty.
14:39Sex dirty, exactly.
14:40I'm kidding, not.
14:41The intimacy is just on another level that I've never had.
14:45Oh, God.
14:46The sex is good.
14:47It's love.
14:48It's loving sex.
14:49I don't feel like I've had sex with Paolo.
14:52I feel like I've been made love to every single time.
14:54I don't feel like...
14:56Honestly, I...
14:57Slow clap, slow clap.
14:59Slow clap.
14:59It's going a little quicker than the answer.
15:05Oh, my God.
15:06Oh, my God, you really are Kerry's perfect partner.
15:09I can't even look at it anymore.
15:11All I hear is...
15:12Yeah, add me.
15:15Oh, my God.
15:16Oh, God.
15:17I can see now.
15:19Sorry, got carried away there.
15:22I mean, dare we even go there?
15:26I mean, is anything about expanding your family together?
15:30I'll marry Kerry tomorrow.
15:31We've already discussed that.
15:32I truly believe I'm going to marry this man.
15:35100%.
15:36We just have one ask on that.
15:40I know that Paul in particular would love to be a page boy.
15:43A page three boy, more like.
15:45I'm a rat, girls.
15:46I don't have a dad, so you can have to walk me down the aisle.
15:49Oh, my God.
15:49Oh, I would do that.
15:51Would you?
15:52I've run out of people to ask.
15:55Oh, roasted Brunson.
15:57Nice.
15:57Paul, Mr. Brunson.
15:59Yes.
15:59Do you accept, will you walk Kerry down the aisle?
16:04Come on, Pete Dogg.
16:05She was only messing.
16:06I would do anything for Kerry Gautona.
16:11What's my bloody role?
16:13Who said you're invited?
16:14You can do it, Bridesmaid.
16:16I'm so happy for Kerry.
16:17She is proof that even when you think that the chance of true love is off the table for you,
16:22when you truly work on what matters in life, you can build personal strength.
16:27And what that strength brings to a relationship is love, trust, honesty, friendship, and, most importantly, safety,
16:35which is something that I believe Kerry has never had in a relationship.
16:40Hi.
16:41See you later, guys.
16:43Take care.
16:43Bye, darling.
16:45Oh, baby, that was amazing.
16:46I'm great.
16:47It was.
16:48You have to.
16:49Yeah, of course.
16:50That was amazing.
16:51You need to get your father of the bride outfit.
16:53Oh, my gosh.
16:54You know, what is a page boy?
16:55I might want to be a page boy.
16:56At last, a proper agency success.
17:00Oh, they look quite cute, actually.
17:03Right, that's quite enough of that soppy shit.
17:05Let's move on.
17:11Over to the diva that is David Potts, who's winging his way across London for a paint-your-partner sexy
17:18second date with buff barber Anthony.
17:20Hi, nice to meet you.
17:21I'm David.
17:22Oh, good to meet you.
17:22You're my first northern date.
17:24Really?
17:25Really.
17:28Does that sound so lovely?
17:29Oh, that was easy.
17:32David's now eager for a second bite of the Anthony cherry.
17:36I'm actually really excited to see Anthony again.
17:38We get on really well, and he's sexy.
17:40Like, he's a bit of me.
17:41Do you know what I mean?
17:42Good, because it is last agency debrief.
17:44Dr. T doled out some classic advice.
17:47Dr. Tara has told me to ask Anthony what he's like in bed.
17:52How creepy is that?
17:53I'd have a long, hard think about it if I were you.
17:56Yeah, that should do it.
18:00Back at the agency now, where love gurus Anna and Paul are prepping for their catch-up with Stephen,
18:05who's still to reach professor level when it comes to dating.
18:10Hello!
18:11Stephen!
18:12Stephen!
18:12What's happening?
18:13The timing is impeccable, actually.
18:15How's it doing?
18:15Good to see you.
18:16Good to see you.
18:17Oh, it's so nice to see you, babe.
18:19Nice to see you.
18:20Have a seat, darling.
18:20We know there's been a lot going on.
18:22There sure has.
18:23The professor was successfully matched with radio host Clara in tennis, where they enjoyed
18:28plenty of fun in the sun at the water park.
18:30But on their second date back home in London, as Stephen edged closer to catching some feels,
18:38My head's spinning a bit.
18:39he then ended their day unexpectedly.
18:42Just need a bit of time to think.
18:46To give us a little bit more data to work with, to help you, what happened on this last date?
18:52I arrived with a kind of seriousness.
18:56It didn't feel as playful.
18:57It was quite still where we were.
19:00It felt quite intense.
19:01You know, we spoke about, you know, is there any alignment?
19:04And Clara's like, well, yeah, I guess so.
19:06And then I was like, oh, God, pressure.
19:10And it didn't feel great.
19:12How did the date end?
19:13I called the date early.
19:16I had to eject.
19:19My head was spinning.
19:23And, um...
19:24It's okay.
19:24It's just, it's hard.
19:26It's so, you know, this could be silly and it could be fun.
19:29And I'm, I feel like I've been dull as dishwater.
19:32Of course you're not dull as dishwater, Stephen.
19:34Stop that self-punishment.
19:36You're a man that's coming through a hell of a lot.
19:38Being neurodivergent is very complex in the dating world.
19:42It makes sense why you feel like you do.
19:44Well, we have got some feedback.
19:45What did you think about Stephen?
19:47He is super honest.
19:49Wow.
19:50You are.
19:51She goes on to say,
19:52I really like that he's a bit awkward like me
19:55and the chemistry that that creates.
19:58Right.
19:58Maybe it wasn't as bad as I've been thinking.
20:01I mean, that's very...
20:03Very nice feedback.
20:03...very positive.
20:04So you can be in the exact same space as someone
20:06and have a completely different experience on it.
20:08You can.
20:09Completely, completely.
20:10We've definitely taken on board what we can do
20:12to adjust the environment for you,
20:15which is really important.
20:17Environment is key when it comes to dates.
20:20So...
20:21He said he wanted an activity date.
20:23He wanted something fun,
20:24giving you some kind of external focus.
20:27Can I just say,
20:28this bloody date, Stephen,
20:29I would give my left tit to go on this date.
20:32OK.
20:33Is it a bottomless brunch down in your local spoons?
20:35You are going on a puppy play date.
20:39Clara will be there as well.
20:41She loves a puppy.
20:42Enjoy the puss.
20:43Will do, as opposed to the pussy.
20:45Here we go.
20:45Are we absolutely sure he's a professor?
20:48Sorry, man.
20:49You set me off now.
20:50Stop.
20:51Oh, yeah.
20:51It's good to see you.
20:52Oh, I love you, mate.
20:53Love you to see you.
20:54Oh, I love you, Stephen.
20:55Enjoy.
20:55See you on the other side.
20:56See you.
20:57See you, babe.
20:59See you.
21:00Bye, darling.
21:02Complex guy.
21:04Yes.
21:05Beautifully complex.
21:06But brilliant, exactly.
21:08And he just puts so much pressure on himself.
21:10He does.
21:14And the agents are all over this activity dating lock today, because David's hoping for a brush
21:19of success on his Peyton date with Anthony.
21:22Look, the Kino's already sat down and ready to get this arty started.
21:26Feel like I'm back at skew on.
21:28And if you're lucky, for lunch, they're serving some spoid dick and custard.
21:32Spotted dick.
21:34David has a very, very similar personality to me.
21:37Very out there, very loud, says what he thinks.
21:41We've got him really well.
21:42And so I'm here for round two.
21:44And let's see what happens.
21:48Hello.
21:49Are you OK?
21:50Are you OK?
21:51Yeah, nice to see you.
21:52Oh, you OK?
21:53Yeah, I'm good.
21:54Are you OK?
21:54Yeah, I'm OK.
21:55Yeah, I'm OK.
21:55You're OK?
21:56Yeah, I'm OK.
21:56You look lovely.
21:58So do you.
21:59Oh, thank you.
21:59Yes, I put my best shirt on for you.
22:01Oh, is it the best shirt?
22:02The best one, this one.
22:03Well, I've gone for a little bit of bondage.
22:05I like it.
22:06Bondage is working for you.
22:07Yeah.
22:07It is, yes.
22:08Amazing.
22:08Yes.
22:09So I'm going to be your teacher today.
22:11I love this.
22:13So in front of you, you've got three brushes.
22:15You've got a pencil and a rubber.
22:18Not that type.
22:20Are we drawing each other?
22:21Yeah, you're going to be painting each other.
22:24Do you like anything to drink?
22:26Oh, thought you were never going to ask.
22:28Please, could I get a tequila, soda, fresh lime?
22:32OK, no problem.
22:34Yeah, just like school then.
22:35And a smoothie with, like, a vodka or something.
22:37Right, right, right.
22:37OK.
22:38Have you ever done this before, what?
22:39I've never done anything like this before.
22:41OK.
22:41I'm actually scared right now.
22:42OK.
22:43Yeah.
22:44Even though I'm not really into art, I am definitely into Anthony.
22:49He is looking so silly.
22:52Cheers, anyway.
22:53Second day.
22:54Second day.
22:58OK, guys, are we ready to start?
23:01Grab your pencils.
23:03OK.
23:03Oh, she's open.
23:04I need a bit of movement, I think.
23:06So we're going to add a circle.
23:09Like an actual circle, then?
23:11Yeah.
23:11Not like a face shape.
23:12Not like a face shape, no.
23:13Mine's already rubbish.
23:15Oh, I'm doing it quite hard.
23:17You've got quite a light touch.
23:18Does it need to be light?
23:19It doesn't.
23:20It's actually OK.
23:20Does it matter?
23:21No, it doesn't matter.
23:22A softer touch is needed.
23:22I need a soft touch.
23:23I've got such a firm grip.
23:26Oh, looky me.
23:27You won't be saying that when he's treating your old fella like the end of a tube of toothpaste.
23:42Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where PK's on his way to his date.
23:46If I don't flirt, it's like I'm not breathing.
23:49So I'm going to be subtle with it.
23:52So subtle that she's not even going to know that I'm doing it.
23:54I'm leaving Mr. Wrong in this vehicle.
23:57I'm bringing out Mr. Right.
24:00And we're checking in on James to see what he does when he's not outdating the ladies.
24:05Hang on.
24:06On air signs, a man twiddling knobs.
24:08I recognise this set-up.
24:10He's with fellow posh boys Alex Payne and almost HRH Mike Tindall for the Good, the Bad and the Rugby
24:17Podcast.
24:18Who knew rugby was worth talking about?
24:20Your life is one big game of snakes and ladders.
24:24I reckon that is the greatest analogy for how my life is, yes.
24:27You're a bloody riot rugby boy at bats.
24:29How are we, Chance?
24:30I'm all right. How are you getting on?
24:31I'm not quite in love, but we're doing all right.
24:34Are you finding this is taking you to some quite uncomfortable places?
24:36Yes, it is quite uncomfortable, yeah.
24:37Meeting the experts and then sort of dismantling your dating style
24:41and then obviously hearing what the datees think of you is pretty terrifying.
24:45So they are in full control.
24:46Full control.
24:47So where does it go from here?
24:49Where are you going to end up?
24:49Are you going to find love?
24:51Well, that's the plan, to find the next person, really.
24:53Are you? The next person?
24:54Well, the one.
24:55The next person?
24:57Yeah, the one.
24:57And what's on the CV of the one?
24:59What are you actually looking for?
25:01Well, someone with good level of intelligence, good chat.
25:03Allows you to do whatever you want to do.
25:05I've got to make some changes myself, Michael.
25:06That's what we're finding out.
25:08What's on the list of your changes?
25:11Probably, well, be less self-centered.
25:14It's only an eight-part show.
25:15You're going to need a little bit longer to go through all of those, I think.
25:18We would both love you to start.
25:19Pull down, a little calmer.
25:20Well, we would like you to find someone very special.
25:23Cheers, lads.
25:24Thanks for tuning in, and we'll catch up with you for the main show later on.
25:27Bye.
25:27Bye.
25:28Bye.
25:29And if you want to listen to a proper podcast, tune in to Parenting Hell, which drops twice
25:34weekly across all good platforms.
25:40Across town now to the man who puts the B in bronzer, David Potts is on his arty date with
25:46potential
25:46Mr. Right, Anthony.
25:49Do you know about, like, mixing colours together?
25:51Because how do I do this?
25:52Yes.
25:52How do I do?
25:53What colour are you looking for?
25:54Fifty shades of orange?
25:55I'm looking for a really nice brown tan colour.
25:58I think it's red, green and white.
26:00Yeah, these are primary colours.
26:02How do people even learn this thing?
26:04Because I've never learned...
26:04Skidwall.
26:05Just a thing called skidwall.
26:06It was a long time ago since I went to school.
26:08Oh, my God, it was.
26:09What year did you go to school in?
26:10About 95.
26:13I was two then.
26:16I was two when you went to high school.
26:18I know.
26:19Oh, gosh.
26:20I love that.
26:21Yeah.
26:22Red.
26:22That looks like your skin tone.
26:24What shit.
26:26This is going really well, and Ant is fantastic company.
26:30Even though he is a little bit older than me, I really enjoy the idea of being with a more
26:34mature man.
26:36Do you like younger?
26:37Yeah, I do.
26:37I would never go out with anyone my own age or older.
26:40Oh, really?
26:40Like, my mum said to me, like, why don't you go out with someone older?
26:42And I was like, what?
26:43From, like, the care home down the road?
26:45Like, I'm not...
26:45Don't knock it till you tried it, mate.
26:47Last time I visited my nan at the care home, the day room was worse than the stink bunker.
26:52Jigsaws and jizz everywhere.
26:53Because I've got, like, a younger energy about me.
26:56Yeah.
26:56I'd have to be with someone younger.
26:58Hmm.
26:58Definitely.
26:59I'm done.
27:00I'm done.
27:01Oh, shit.
27:02I don't think David's going to like that.
27:04I want to do mine first, because I feel like mine might not measure up.
27:08Well, it might have primary school.
27:10Are you ready?
27:16Actually, I'm starting to see the likeness.
27:19Have I got, like, a skin disease?
27:22It looks nice.
27:24I might expect it to like yours now after that.
27:28All I'm seeing is axe murderer.
27:30Oh, my gosh.
27:33Yeah.
27:34It's nice.
27:35Is it?
27:36I would say it probably looks like someone who's about 80.
27:41Not far off.
27:44There you go.
27:45From me to you.
27:46Thank you so much.
27:47You are.
27:47Are you having yours?
27:48I would love mine.
27:49Yeah, that's going straight in the bin.
27:55I'm just going to pop out for a second.
27:57I need a little tinkle.
27:58I won't be long.
27:59See you in a sec.
28:00See you in a sec.
28:01I'm not running off.
28:01Don't worry.
28:03Oh, my God.
28:04This day is so good.
28:07This is absolutely fantastic, brilliant, amazing, stunning, slay, sensational.
28:12So, so far, so good.
28:15But the experts have told me to ask him a question.
28:19What he's like in bed.
28:27Meanwhile, on the other side of London, a self-proclaimed newly responsible and toned-down PK is on his way
28:33for his date.
28:34I'll give it less than five minutes.
28:36So, the things I'm going to find out tonight is her interest.
28:39Yes.
28:39What she likes to do.
28:40Great.
28:41Her values.
28:42Even better.
28:43Probably tell her to open up her internet banking.
28:46Shit.
28:47I want transparency today.
28:49Starting with her mum's maiden name and the first road she lived on.
28:54If I like her, I will definitely kiss her.
28:57I'm in a mood.
28:58I need to buy some mint, though.
29:00Well, you'd better hurry up, because speaking afresh, here comes your date.
29:05Hold up, she looks familiar.
29:07Is the agent's database running a bit low or something?
29:10It's DJ Viv, who dated Stephen.
29:14There was literally a dog doing a wee-up-a-tree behind you, sorry.
29:17Nice.
29:18It was a lovely date.
29:19I think he's a really nice guy, but it was definitely more, I think, friendship vibes.
29:24What?
29:25Chatting about pissing dogs, not your thing?
29:27Weirdo.
29:28So, I know I'm going on a date with PK Humble.
29:31He looks like a fun guy from what I've seen.
29:33So, I'm hoping that this date is a little bit flirty.
29:37Well, maybe, but you're dating PK 2.0.
29:40He's matured, he's responsible, and he wants to know your net worth.
29:43I mean, values.
29:48Hello.
29:48Hello.
29:49Hello, how are you doing?
29:49I'm good, I'm Viv.
29:52Nice to meet you.
29:53Nice to meet you, too.
29:55Sorry, let me push, let me help you out of your chair.
29:57Oh, look at this, gentleman.
29:59This is very unlike me, by the way.
30:00Is it?
30:01Oh, no.
30:01Are you introducing me to a vibe you can't continue?
30:04Oh, damn, Viv.
30:04Is that what's happening?
30:06Yeah, normally, you'd have got you between your legs
30:08and pretended to shear you by now.
30:10You smell amazing, by the way.
30:13So, what?
30:13What made you choose going on a date with me?
30:16Did they show you a picture of me?
30:17Yeah.
30:18Oh, look at all your smiling, you're blushing.
30:20Am I not supposed to smile?
30:21No, I thought you were interesting,
30:24and obviously, like, nice to look at, so I thought...
30:28You think I'm nice to look at?
30:29I thought I can be free.
30:30The pleasure's all mine.
30:31Viv is looking good.
30:33Ten out of ten.
30:34This is going to be interesting.
30:37Have you been on other dates, then?
30:39I've been on a few dates.
30:41How have they been?
30:42Move on quickly, PK.
30:44I've been getting in trouble quite a bit.
30:46Oh, no.
30:47What have you done?
30:48I've flirted too much.
30:50I wouldn't say I'm not trying to do that today,
30:52but I'm trying to get to know you before I flirt so hard.
30:58Why do I get the feeling it's not flirting he's thinking of?
31:00I will say you don't make it easy for me.
31:02I believe in you, don't worry.
31:04You can do this.
31:04So, it's what?
31:05Serious questions today.
31:06Yeah, like, I'm trying to find out what's going on inside.
31:11Okay, hit me.
31:12Ask me a question.
31:13What are your values?
31:14Oh.
31:15Yeah, you see, we're getting deep.
31:16This is good.
31:17My values.
31:19Kindness is a big one.
31:21Honesty.
31:22Mm.
31:22How honest are we talking, though?
31:24Because honesty hurts, you know?
31:25Classic player line there.
31:27So, just white lies here and there?
31:29Mm, we'll try and avoid lying if we can.
31:31Okay.
31:32Yes, Viv.
31:32Sorry.
31:33Okay, so what are your values?
31:34Let's bring it back.
31:37Do you want me to be...
31:38I was just about to lie.
31:39I was going to lie.
31:40No, you don't have to do that over here.
31:41I don't have to lie.
31:41Because we said we're going to be honest.
31:43I think so.
31:44My values are family.
31:47Good, PK.
31:49Happiness.
31:49Well done.
31:51Also, I just...
31:52This is a bit off topic, but I'm looking for someone that's, like, emotionally intelligent.
31:57Is he just freestyling this shit, or has he got the agent speaking to him in an earpiece?
32:02Either way, it does look like PK is finally showing a different side to himself, thanks
32:07to the agent's advice.
32:11But over on his arty date with Anthony, unless I've missed something, David still hasn't dropped
32:15Dr T's killer question to help them connect deeper.
32:20Stinkbunker.
32:21Right.
32:22I've got a question for you.
32:24Okay.
32:25Are you ready?
32:26Okay.
32:26I am kind of cringing.
32:29One second.
32:30Am I going to cringe you asking me this?
32:31Oh, God.
32:32No, don't say you're going to cringe.
32:34I know I'm going to cringe.
32:36Oh, I feel cringy already.
32:38I'm not asking.
32:38No, no, go under, please.
32:40I can't.
32:41Right.
32:42You know when I told you I went into the agency the other day?
32:45Yeah, okay.
32:45I was sat with Dr Tara.
32:47Like, Dr Tara's like a, like a sex expert.
32:51Oh, okay.
32:52And Dr Tara gave me a question to ask you.
32:55Come on, DP, spit it out.
32:57I can't believe I'm going to get asked a question from a sex expert.
33:00Sorry, I'm cringing.
33:01I actually feel sick at the thought of asking.
33:04One minute, I'm actually just looking over here.
33:05I can't actually directly look you in the eye whilst I'm saying it, because I'm cringing.
33:11So, no, she basically told me to ask you.
33:14Yeah.
33:15Pottsy, you can do this.
33:20Come on, David, spit it out.
33:21What are you liking a bun cup?
33:23Rigid as a board or a sexy little fish?
33:32Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where we've just left David Potts squirming like a freshly sorted slug,
33:38as he's yet to ask the question on everyone's lips.
33:41Well, Dr T's lips at least.
33:43I'll prepare, just to clarify, not the pom-pom.
33:46What are you like in bed?
33:49Finally, let's get comfy for this.
33:57That's just such a broad question, though, isn't it?
33:59I think I'd go for punctual.
34:04Are we trying to figure out who's a tunnel and who's a train?
34:08No.
34:10No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
34:11Too much.
34:13No, no, no, no, we're not doing that.
34:15Oh, OK, I thought that's what we were doing.
34:20Sorry, it's just gone really warm in here.
34:25With a boyfriend and partner, I'm probably quite caring and quite...
34:29Caring.
34:30Caring.
34:30Is it weird that's jumping into my head?
34:32Caring is lovely.
34:34I wanted to say caress, but I think that's probably going a bit too far.
34:37OK, amazing.
34:38Yeah.
34:39What's your favourite colour?
34:40I thought you were going to say, what's your favourite position?
34:42No, I wasn't going to say that.
34:44Doggy in the mirror.
34:45Yes, don't get that mixed up with doggy in the window.
34:48My neighbour Clive can't look me in the eye anymore.
34:51OK, erm, yeah.
34:54Thank God he wasn't put off by Dr Tara's question.
34:58It's just a bit cringy.
35:00Like, this is too much for a public setting.
35:03I'm paying this time.
35:04I'll pay.
35:04No, no, no, I paid last time.
35:05I should have paid.
35:07OK, that's amazing.
35:07Thank you so much.
35:08Do you know, we actually had aprons that we never put on.
35:15Well, I've had a fantastic time.
35:17Yes.
35:17This looks promising.
35:19And excited for date three?
35:21Yes.
35:21Pucker up, baby boy.
35:22What are you waiting for?
35:25Oh, he looks like he's enjoying that.
35:27I will see you soon.
35:28I'll see you soon.
35:29Get home safe.
35:29I will.
35:30Take care.
35:31Bye.
35:32See you later.
35:33Go, Potsy.
35:34Oh, my God.
35:35He went so amazing.
35:40So, my first time around at the agency, I did make it to, like, third, fourth, fifth day,
35:45but it was with one person.
35:47This is my only worry.
35:49I don't want to repeat what I did last time.
35:51Get too impulsive.
35:53Jumping too quick.
35:54But then at the same time, I loved seeing Ant again.
35:57I feel like we're just going from strength to strength to strength.
36:00You never know.
36:01This could be the one.
36:04Yes, David.
36:05As long as your next date is better than your artwork, you could be on to a winner.
36:13Speaking of third dates, Professor Green has somehow bagged himself a third outing with Clara,
36:19despite doing a runner the last time they met.
36:21And the agents have arranged a doggy cafe date.
36:25Because nothing says romance like a sausage dog locking eyes on you
36:29while squeezing out a little chocolate Mr Whippy.
36:33I'm looking forward to seeing Clara.
36:34It ended a bit weirdly last time.
36:36I was completely out of sorts that day.
36:38Hey, go in.
36:39You know, I wasn't hiding from the fact that I didn't feel myself.
36:42Today will hopefully be a bit easier.
36:44A bit more relaxed, less intense.
36:46Famous last words, isn't it?
36:47Yeah, it should be fine.
36:53Oh, my God.
36:54Let's hope cat lover Clara feels the same way.
36:57On our last date, I'm not entirely sure exactly what happened.
37:01I know that Stephen felt quite overwhelmed and quite emotional
37:04and that he wanted to take some time to kind of think about things and process things.
37:09That's as much as I kind of know.
37:11Going on a third date with someone, I think it is obviously because you like them.
37:15And maybe there is potential for a fourth date.
37:18But I think today will kind of give both of us more clarity on that.
37:21And I'm hoping that by the time I leave this date, that maybe I have a little bit more clarity
37:26about where he's at.
37:28Yeah, maybe.
37:28I just hope you've brought some poo bags.
37:30For him, not the dogs.
37:32Hi.
37:32Hi.
37:33I would get up to say hi, but...
37:35You can't right now.
37:36I've been commandeered.
37:38Hello.
37:38How are you doing?
37:39You all right?
37:39You're not too sure about me.
37:40Yeah, I'm good.
37:41How are you?
37:42Not too bad.
37:43You're more of a cat person than a dog, isn't you?
37:44Yeah, I am.
37:45But I do like dogs.
37:46Yeah.
37:46This little guy's very funny.
37:48Oh, he's jumped ship immediately.
37:49That's it.
37:49I think it might be time for me to discuss the elephant in the room,
37:52given the abrupt ending the last time I saw Clara.
37:55And so I think it's best that I bring it up
37:57with the hope that all goes smoothly
38:00and I can keep my sh...together.
38:03How have you been?
38:04I'm good.
38:05Yeah?
38:06You?
38:06Yeah, I've been all right.
38:07A bit better than I was the last time I saw you.
38:08Yeah.
38:09Good.
38:09Yeah.
38:10It was quite intense.
38:13Do you think this is a bit more relaxing?
38:16Not for little Coco there.
38:18Angry little shit.
38:19How did you feel after we last saw each other?
38:21You all right?
38:22When you were like,
38:23oh, I feel like I just need a bit of time.
38:24I didn't know that you meant you were leaving right then.
38:27So I was like, okay.
38:28Obviously, I was worried about you
38:29and I wanted to know that you were okay.
38:31But I think it's like one of those things
38:32where I've really had to...
38:34I know it's not about me.
38:35Yeah.
38:36You can see that someone's not okay.
38:37You want to make sure that they are.
38:39That's kind of how I felt when I left.
38:41I wanted to know that you were okay.
38:43Because it did feel abrupt.
38:45Afterwards, I was just like,
38:46God, why did that get so intense?
38:47It is quite an intense process.
38:49It is intense, isn't it?
38:51And it was so quiet and still...
38:54And it feels quiet and still,
38:55again, now that dogs have stopped parking.
38:58Oh, no, it looks like we're losing him.
38:59Quick, someone get a yappy little furble in there, quick.
39:06Across town, the newly improved PK is all in with his date, Viv,
39:11and seems to be winning her over.
39:13I haven't asked you much about your date in there.
39:15When's the last time you went on a date?
39:17So, the last time I went on a date was...
39:20It was a couple of weeks ago
39:22with someone else from the agency.
39:25Ah!
39:26You're all right, PK.
39:27Don't do that.
39:30Don't do that.
39:32Don't do that.
39:35I went on a date with Stephen.
39:39But it was definitely more friendship vibes.
39:43And that's why I'm here today.
39:45Yeah, that's a rat.
39:46What's a rat?
39:46Me and you, are we done?
39:47That's a rat.
39:48Really?
39:49Why is that, then?
39:50That's a rat, Alar.
39:51Mate, she went on a date and nothing happened.
39:53What's the problem?
39:55Why?
39:57Because I feel like transparency.
39:59She's being more transparent than a nudist to the greenhouse, mate.
40:03Get over it.
40:04You're probably aware that I know Stephen, no?
40:06No.
40:07You didn't think...
40:08What am I supposed to say?
40:09Hi, Vicko, lovely to meet you.
40:10I went on a date with Stephen.
40:12You could have just slipped it in.
40:14I don't think it matters who we've dated before.
40:16I'm willing to overlook the fact that you're dating other people right now.
40:20And I think you should give me a pass as well,
40:22because I went on a date.
40:24He doesn't go on dates.
40:26Didn't work out, so I'm here with you.
40:28Oof!
40:28PK humbled.
40:30And they called it puppy love.
40:36Over at the Doggy Café,
40:38Professor Green is blissfully unaware of the grief he's causing PK,
40:41because he's finally turning on the charm for Clara.
40:45You ever get spots?
40:46I never really get them, but I've got one under the skin,
40:48and it's so painful, and it's making my nose itch.
40:50Oh, Prof.
40:51Mate, this ain't good chat.
40:53Is this the flirting that I were training you to do?
40:57Did I just say that?
40:58Yes, you did, Stephen.
41:01I wanted to ask you or, like, tell you how I kind of feel about you
41:05and then see if you're kind of feeling the same.
41:11So I think, for me, obviously, I like you.
41:14I find you attractive.
41:15I find you interesting.
41:17Even the kind of, like, the little rollercoaster bit.
41:20Yeah, I guess that's where I'm at.
41:24I like spending time with you.
41:26I like you.
41:27I think you're attractive.
41:28Come on, Steve-o, you can do this.
41:32That wasn't me.
41:33Pipe down, Fritz.
41:34It's crunch time.
41:36I mean, if you're happy with the pastings,
41:39I would like to see you again.
41:41Yes!
41:42Well done, mate!
41:44I just want to do things differently.
41:45The one thing that I definitely need is patience.
41:51Oh, is he?
41:52Oh, is he?
41:54Did that lick my mouth?
41:56Should we get out of dog land?
41:58To be fair, you were more involved with the dogs than me.
42:00You're more hands-on.
42:01On our date today, Stephen seemed really chilled, really relaxed.
42:06And, yeah, just, like, in a really, I don't know,
42:10like, in a good place.
42:11And, yeah, it just felt easy.
42:14Hello, mate.
42:15Can I have a break for drinks, please?
42:16Absolutely.
42:16Did you enjoy your session?
42:18Did indeed, yeah.
42:20Very cute.
42:20There you go.
42:21Very cute.
42:21Thank you very much.
42:22Thanks very much.
42:23See you again.
42:24Date was fun.
42:25Clara said she likes me.
42:26She finds me attractive.
42:27Those are very nice things to hear.
42:29Which way are you walking?
42:30I'm going that way.
42:30Go on then.
42:31Let's go.
42:32It was nice being a bit more relaxed
42:34than being able to lean into the fun side.
42:36Dare I say the fun side of things a little bit more?
42:39Hard not to when you've got dogs jumping all over you,
42:42trying to bite your fingers off for snacks.
42:45So Stephen's as happy as a dog with two dicks.
42:48But back with PK and Viv and her previous professor date
42:51is causing a mid-day stumble.
42:53Can PK put it behind him?
42:55Sort of works.
42:57I'll be honest with you.
42:58I do probably think I'm top five best looking in the UK.
43:02Rate yourself.
43:03I love that.
43:03Yeah, GQ.
43:04Back yourself.
43:05All of that good stuff.
43:06Mm-hmm.
43:06So when I come on a date,
43:08it's hard for a girl not to be attracted to me.
43:10I'm in great shape.
43:11Okay.
43:12I'm in great shape, but apart from my belly.
43:14I'm pretty sure that's what Elvis said
43:16just before he died having a shit.
43:18I got a bit of a belly.
43:19I got like an uncle bod.
43:21Not my uncle.
43:22Poor bastard had to be craned into the ambulance.
43:24No, you haven't.
43:25Took the wall out.
43:26Yeah, I do.
43:26But I am smoothie.
43:27I can still move and stuff.
43:28Okay.
43:29However, I'm not just like...
43:30You've got stamina.
43:32I've got stamina.
43:33I'm talking about sport.
43:34What were you talking about?
43:34I didn't say anything.
43:35Why are you smiling at me?
43:36I just smiled.
43:37Okay.
43:38Can I smile at you?
43:38No, you can.
43:39You've got a lovely smile.
43:40You think so?
43:40You should do it more often.
43:41Is it?
43:42Damn.
43:43We should do this more often.
43:45Yeah?
43:45Oh, I think Viv's getting the PK date train back on track.
43:49Okay, deep, deep.
43:51We're going deep, remember?
43:52Yeah, we're going deep.
43:53Actually, I had a question for you.
43:55Have you ever kissed on the first date?
43:56You were supposed to be going deep.
43:58So, I don't usually kiss on the first date.
44:01Shit.
44:04Only because it gives you something else to look forward to.
44:07So, if we don't kiss tonight, are you done with me?
44:10Is that it?
44:12No, no, no.
44:13No, no, no.
44:15It's very high-pitched.
44:18Salt on the spicy mug.
44:20Got me.
44:21Okay.
44:22You should try it.
44:22You should buy it.
44:23I do like a spicy margarita.
44:25It's my favourite cocktail, so...
44:26Do you want to try mine?
44:28Go on, then.
44:29Go on, then.
44:30Try mine.
44:35So, I've kind of kissed you.
44:37Yeah, you've kind of kissed me.
44:38Yeah.
44:39You've used my straw.
44:40I have.
44:40You sucked on my straw.
44:42Easy, mate.
44:43You were doing so well.
44:44I had to make it weird.
44:46So...
44:46Oh, shit.
44:47No, it's fine.
44:47Sorry.
44:48It's fine.
44:48So, we basically kissed.
44:50We have.
44:51Damn.
44:51On the first date.
44:52On the first date.
44:54See?
44:54It happened.
44:55It happened.
44:56Ask and you shall receive.
44:57You might not want to say shit like that round PK.
45:00I can't wait to kiss him for real.
45:07Should I get the building?
45:09Let's do it.
45:10Let me do that.
45:11Do you want a split-see?
45:15Look at that face.
45:16You guys all right?
45:17You're a Nigerian girl.
45:18You've never split anyone.
45:20I think the date today went really, really well.
45:22I feel like I got his banter, and when it went a little bit too far to the left, I
45:26was just kind of like,
45:27yeah, let's just bring it back.
45:29Let me get the door.
45:34Well, it's been a pleasure.
45:36I had a really good time.
45:37Second day, I'll get my kiss.
45:38We'll see.
45:39All right, then.
45:40Goodbye.
45:40Goodbye.
45:40Take care.
45:42At the start of the date, I made it clear that I'm not going to flirt with her unless I'm
45:47actually interested with her.
45:48So as the date went along and I started flirting, she knew what time it was.
45:53See you soon.
45:53See you soon.
45:54He kind of got a kiss because we swapped drinks, so, you know, he should be happy with that,
45:59because I don't swap drinks willy-nilly.
46:02See you later.
46:02Bye.
46:08Tomorrow night.
46:09Oh, there you are.
46:10There's axe wounds.
46:12Yes.
46:12We're going to have it.
46:13Big balls.
46:14Oh, I see.
46:15It's big and it's smooth and it's all yours.
46:19Killeen.
46:20I've got a bit of a salty rim.
46:23And plenty of tongues.
46:26As our celebs.
46:27Would you see me again?
46:29Go.
46:29Woo-hoo.
46:30Woo-hoo.
46:31Dating.
46:33Oh.
46:34Spicy.