- 11 hours ago
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00:20Clothes.
00:22Uh, yes, I probably should.
00:25Good.
00:28This is £200.
00:31No, I can't take your money as well as your hospitality.
00:35Well, the hospitality is a gift. This is a loan.
00:38No, you've done so much already. I don't want to be any trouble.
00:41Well, have you got a bank account?
00:43No.
00:44Have you got any cash money?
00:46Uh, no.
00:48Well, I don't know what your Bible says,
00:51but mine is quite explicit about helping people in need.
00:57My sons have moved out. My husband left me.
01:01I like having you here.
01:03And if you find anything nice for the Harvest Festival...
01:06Oh, I'll drop something at the church.
01:07No, no, I didn't. I didn't mean for you to go.
01:09Oh, I have no intention of being afraid of him.
01:13You're going to be okay, aren't you?
01:16Let's start with a question.
01:19What do you think a priest is?
01:22People who talk to God.
01:24Yeah, that's good.
01:25Um, I actually think anyone can talk to God.
01:28That's what prayer is.
01:30A priest is a boss in church.
01:32I like that.
01:34I like that. Yes, we are.
01:36Do you have a class representative?
01:38Someone who sits on a committee representing the class?
01:42Angus.
01:45Are you Angus?
01:47On Wednesday we have a race dinner, but Angus decided we should have sausages instead.
01:52So he talked to you about that decision?
01:53No.
01:54Yeah, I did.
01:57Would you consider you elected him your representative leader?
02:01When it comes to lunch menus, at least.
02:04Definitely.
02:05Definitely?
02:06Yeah?
02:07Right, well, I would say what I do is spiritual leadership.
02:13I don't decide what we have for lunch, but I do lead people, or try to, in their prayer and
02:21their worship.
02:22And that's why I'm here today, to talk to you about a festival we're going to be running at my
02:27church.
02:27Who here has heard of Harvest Festival?
02:31Good.
02:32And who can tell me what this is all about?
02:34Thank you for doing that.
02:36Talking business, were you able to give any more consideration to my needle exchange idea?
02:41Yes.
02:42Harvest Festivals, needle banks, they did warn me that you were radical when you came our way.
02:47It's just a small capital investment.
02:49Now, this diocese is already running three full-time food banks.
02:53I think there are six part-time banks.
02:55And the deanery is going to take it to opening its doors twice a week as they walk back.
02:59And there's countless outreach education groups.
03:02Okay, but those are all necessary.
03:05The diocese has 53 million pounds in funds, 21 of which is cash in the bank.
03:09Surely we can find this.
03:10How long have you been with us?
03:11Is it two years?
03:13Three.
03:14Well, don't you think you're settling properly before you try taking on my job?
03:18Look, I know what happened with this nun.
03:20And clearly, clearly there is no blame attached to you.
03:24But it's not as if your copy book wasn't already blotted and now you're digging into our account.
03:29What have you heard about?
03:29I never knew that she was so flighty.
03:33Silly.
03:36Um, I think there was, um, there was confusion.
03:42Oh, there's no confusion.
03:43She took a vow.
03:44She didn't even wait to ask for permission to leave.
03:51If you want to find her, I do know where she is.
03:53Well, we know where she is.
03:55But the abbess, she wants, she wants her to stew a little.
03:59Poor Anna.
03:59She has absolutely no idea of the real world.
04:04Good luck, David.
04:07Ah, and thanks once again.
04:09Very kind of you.
04:10Ah, and thanks again.
04:30Ah, and thanks again.
04:46Ah, and thanks again.
04:55Bye bye.
05:00Bye bye.
05:03Bye bye.
05:06Bye bye.
05:08Bye bye.
05:10Bye bye.
05:23Sorry, I need to count your, I'm sorry, I need to count your clothes, I need to count.
06:09So, I need to count your clothes.
06:10So, that's the only thing I need to count.
06:11I need to count.
06:31It's a recruitment drive.
06:33You've discovered a way to recruit people.
06:37You love it.
06:38Admit it, you do.
06:40They get to feel charitable about donating a can of beans.
06:43They remind themselves they're Catholic, see the inside of a church.
06:46They might even, God forbid, come to the actual service.
06:50How many cans of beans do we have?
06:51I have a rough estimate, 467.
06:53I can fill the front three pews.
06:56Oh, we could keep them and do that thing,
06:58or we push you down a hill and bath for the beans.
07:00Well, I don't think that would do your reputation any good at all,
07:04especially now.
07:05It was all over the diocese,
07:07the pretty priest who steals sisters.
07:13Well, I thought she was flighty.
07:16Oh, flighty, is it?
07:40I brought home some food.
07:42Chinese, because I like it.
07:47I hope you like it.
07:50Pretty much like all food.
07:53How was your day?
07:54Not the best.
07:56We're overrun.
07:58I'm sorry.
08:01I've been overrun for years.
08:04So, what did you get?
08:08Shopping, I mean.
08:13I felt a bit much, to be honest.
08:17Oh?
08:19We need a drink.
08:21But first, I'm going to get you some clothes.
08:24See, we didn't have mirrors.
08:26Of course you didn't.
08:28And I, well, I seem to have lost the ability to look at myself.
08:33And yet, everybody else seemed to want to look at me.
08:35It's almost as if I've forgotten what I look like.
08:39Not that I think I'm still 16.
08:41You've got a beautiful face.
08:43No, no, no.
08:44It's not a question of pride.
08:47Do you know, to be honest, I've got to admit,
08:49I don't like changing rooms either.
08:50Everything had short sleeves.
08:53And the tops and the dresses.
08:55And I just wanted something to cover myself.
09:00What is it you want covered?
09:02Well, my arms and my legs.
09:05I mean, there were some long sleeves, but...
09:10It's not that I don't like my arms.
09:12I mean, I don't really think about my arms.
09:14But...
09:20I...
09:21I have never shaved my armpits.
09:28And everything felt very...
09:31Well, very exposing of that.
09:33And, uh...
09:34I've also never shaved my legs.
09:41I am profoundly hairy.
09:45I am now a man.
10:00I am now a man.
10:00Oh, I am now a man.
10:04I am now a man.
10:07Father David.
10:14I am now a man.
10:15I was called to go to amazing yes of course take a seat
11:01thanks for coming you're macy yeah and thank you for bringing me care deeply about your mom
11:12I missed her at best went in every day right that's right their confession was a blast
11:28did she talk about me
11:33I know you can't say
11:41wink for yes Amy
11:46Gertrude was is very kind around the parish
11:51she wasn't I wasn't Catholic
11:58she wasn't Catholic when I was a child she was when she was a kid but
12:04found being an adult more difficult
12:11I'm guessing you didn't always get on
12:14no she liked to hurt
12:24I'm sorry about that
12:26I'm just pleased someone's forgiven her
12:37it's time
12:51do you see what you're coming with me
12:56the last rites are something really quite beautiful
13:04it's a celebration of the sacraments of penance and viaticum
13:10viaticum is a latin word meaning provision and love for the next part of the journey
13:19we are taken with you on the way
13:29it's about faith of course but I think it's mostly about love
13:39it doesn't have to be about your forgiveness
13:42I'm not challenging your anger
13:45all that's asked for is your support for her penance
13:50and her journey
13:58I definitely support her penance
14:15do you have anything to say to me Gertrude
14:19if you're unable to talk squeeze my hand
14:22if you're sorry for anything you've done wrong
14:34I just want to say
14:40thanks Gertrude thank you
14:43for being a really good friend
14:45to me and to the community
14:48I think we saw the very best of you
14:54I love you very much
15:15God the father of mercies
15:16through the death and resurrection of his son
15:19and has reconciled the world to himself
15:21and the Holy Spirit among us
15:23for the forgiveness of sins
15:24through the ministry of his church
15:26may God give you peace and pardon
15:34I absolve you from your sins
15:36in the name of the father
15:39of the son
15:41of the Holy Spirit
16:15I saw the lights on.
16:21I saw the lights on, and I saw the lights on, and I saw the lights on.
16:52I saw the lights on, and I saw the lights on, and I saw the lights on.
17:20I saw the lights on, and I saw the lights on.
17:37I'll go see you soon.
17:38Fuck.
17:40Remember...
17:40I'll be...
17:42...woman...
17:43...women...
17:43...gall.
17:44Spudgy!
17:46I know.
17:48I know.
17:48I know.
17:51Her vows.
17:53She...
17:54She...
17:55She okay?
18:01No, I haven't been single.
18:03She...
18:04Sorry.
18:11This is a pushy and you're there.
18:15Yeah.
18:32There's something there.
18:48Maybe you'll find a pair, don't you?
19:02I don't like this.
19:30My name's David Mnacholek.
19:32I'm an alcoholic.
19:34Hi, David.
19:35I'm also, as most of you know, a priest.
19:39It's been a while since I've spoken.
19:43I was in Reading quite a big deal.
19:46I was given a lot of responsibilities in the diocese, a lot for my age.
19:49There were those that said I was to be the next bishop, quite a young bishop.
19:57There were a group of kids I was counseling.
20:00Not all Catholics, but I was pushing for a church that reaches out.
20:05I wasn't a trained counselor, but I'd done courses and I thought the priesthood was social work.
20:14I thought this boy, I wouldn't say his name, was being abused and I was trying to help him, get
20:25him to admit what had happened to him.
20:28And how he felt about it, things I felt he needed.
20:34And he did tell me, he told me all sorts, as his father raping him.
20:48And the difficult thing was, the difficult thing was that he told me he thought he liked it.
21:05And then he, um, he killed himself.
21:16It was very sad.
21:24No one blames me, but people kept telling me to pray and, uh, kept wanting to pray themselves.
21:32And I led them, that's my job, I led them in praying.
21:35And that's when I lost it, the ability to pray.
21:45I found I could only talk to God, I could only find God within myself when I drank.
21:51I found truth, saw this.
21:57I don't know.
22:02And I took to starting the day with a drink.
22:09You know, I'm not blaming it on losing the kid, it was my own weakness.
22:15I'm not saying that was the reason, but it, it was the trigger.
22:21Anyway.
22:26I was, I was no longer talked of as a future bishop.
22:31Yeah.
22:33Someone saw what was happening and I was taken away and treated and...
22:37Helped.
22:41And...
22:42I moved in with my sister, and found a new life.
22:49Here.
22:51To rare for priests to move.
22:55But...
22:56Bristol was good enough to welcome me and...
23:01Felt I was doing good.
23:03Perhaps not good enough, but...
23:06Good work.
23:11But...
23:15Lately...
23:17Things have become disturbed.
23:23And I...
23:25I guess I'm...
23:28Scared I'm gonna...
23:38Right now, I need a drink so badly.
23:47Right now, I need a drink so badly.
23:56I'm gonna...
23:58I'm gonna...
23:59I'm gonna...
24:07I'm gonna...
24:10I'm gonna...
24:11I'm gonna...
24:11In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
24:15Amen.
24:17The Lord be with you.
24:18And with your spirit.
24:21Lord, we have sinned against you.
24:24Lord, have mercy.
24:26Lord, have mercy.
24:28Lord, have mercy.
24:29Show us your mercy and your love.
24:32And with your salvation.
24:34May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive our sins, and bring us to everlasting life.
24:42Amen.
24:43Amen.
24:57Welcome.
25:00Welcome.
25:00Um...
25:01Welcome to something a bit different.
25:07Now, the Catholic Church is not known for its thieving.
25:11Apart from all the things we've stolen.
25:14But this today is an audacious act of larceny, taken back from the Church of England, what is, in fact,
25:21a Catholic event.
25:23In fact, I'll go further.
25:24A Catholic embrace.
25:26A celebration not of plenty, but of eliminating want.
25:31Of giving and the understanding of need.
25:35Saint Isidore, often called the farmer and our saint of harvest, said this.
25:41When God's grace touches our innermost minds to bring understanding,
25:46his word, which is received by the ear, can sink deep into our heart.
25:55Today is an act of love.
25:58And let's start by singing hymn number 432,
26:03Come ye thankful people, come.
26:28Well, that was a beautiful service.
26:29Oh, yeah.
26:31Still fancying it all right.
26:37I hope you didn't think I got my hair done for him.
26:40You had a haircut.
26:42You didn't get your hair done.
26:46I felt so ashamed sitting there.
26:48Well, you shouldn't have.
26:53I feel...
26:55I feel like I'm ten years old.
26:57Why, you're not!
27:00And I say that as someone who's shaved your armpits.
27:27And I say that as someone who's shaved your armpits.
27:51I'm sorry.
27:54I'm sorry I was tasting.
27:56I'm so darned.
27:57I'm not full.
27:57I'm so darned.
28:00I've been tickening this.
28:03Go.
28:04I'm so darned.
28:06Yes!
28:07Yes!
28:11Yes!
28:12Yes!
28:37Dad.
28:42Your mother wanted to work
28:46Who is he?
28:48It doesn't matter
28:49I'm not discussing him with you
28:51Why not?
28:53Because I don't want your judgement
28:5526 years just torn up like that
28:57That's not how I see it
29:01I...
29:02I don't have to justify my choices to you
29:04You just walk out on a job
29:07for a man who won't look at you
29:09How do you see it?
29:10Did you come here just to shout at me mum?
29:12You were 16
29:14I told you it was a mistake
29:16You were so sure
29:17Until suddenly you throw it all away
29:20All that work
29:20All that work?
29:22You made a commitment
29:24A commitment which ripped my heart out
29:29Your dad's heart out now it means nothing
29:31I made a commitment which I do not regret
29:34Of course you regret it
29:36But now I realise
29:37Now you realise you've thrown away the best part of your life
29:40And he doesn't want you back
29:42Right?
29:44You made this choice
29:46And he doesn't want you back
29:50That's the thing you could never understand
29:52As a point where you are
29:54As a woman where we all are so beautiful
29:57But now...
29:58I'm not
30:02Go home
30:05I needed to see you
30:06You are making your problems mine
30:09Mum, like you always do
30:12Go home
30:15Don't remember the wrong things from this
30:17You've made your point
30:21Go home
30:42Hello, Father
30:43Hello, Miriam
30:45I was, um...
30:47I was wondering if I could talk to...
30:54I wondered if you fancied a walk
31:05I enjoyed your harvest service
31:08I was pleased to see you there
31:11Surprised, if I'm honest
31:14There's something basic, isn't there
31:16About the harvest as a time for sharing
31:19It was originally Catholic
31:21Till Henry VIII
31:22There was a Catholic service
31:23And the Irish...
31:25Yes, I think you mentioned that
31:26A few times
31:30How long did it take you to write it
31:32For you, the Salmon?
31:35Depends on why you're asking
31:37I liked it
31:38All the stuff about the true nature of giving
31:40I...
31:41I thought you gave a really...
31:42A true analysis of generosity as an exchange
31:45Thank you
31:49Um...
31:50I...
31:50I write them very quickly
31:51Often in the bath
31:53And then I revise them quite a bit
31:57So you...
31:58You write in the bath?
32:00Well, I actually dictate them into my phone
32:02I can hear the water moving when I listen back
32:05Oh
32:06That's an odd image
32:07I suppose there isn't a great deal to do
32:10But think
32:12When you wept
32:15No
32:19My parents came to see me
32:21Furious
32:22About leaving your...
32:24Yeah
32:24I thought you said they weren't especially Catholic
32:26Well, my mum didn't want me to become a nun
32:27But...
32:28Here I am
32:29Doing it anyway
32:30Oh
32:31Leaving
32:32Having ruined the best part of my life
32:34Serving something fruitless
32:37You haven't ruined the best parts of your life
32:39Then even my mother
32:42My parents were troubled by my choice
32:45My sister thought it was great
32:47Not like the good old days
32:48When that third child will be stuffed after the clergy
32:51I think that's more of an Anglican tradition
32:52Do they come to your services?
32:56Both dead
32:57My sister's still around there
32:59She's a natural daughter
33:00I was adopted
33:02Oh
33:04So your parents were...
33:07What?
33:10Yeah
33:11It's a bit strange how that question's always the first one people ask
33:15Sorry for the boring question
33:16That's not boring at all
33:17Just marginally
33:18Racist
33:19Socially tally
33:25I don't want to have sex with you
33:28Sorry?
33:34I don't know what this is
33:36But I've kept thinking about it
33:38And I just wanted to say
33:39That I don't think I want to have sex with you
33:46Uh...
33:46Okay
33:47Or uh...
33:48Well maybe I do
33:48Maybe I'm just saying that to um...
33:50But sex
33:51The...
33:52The idea of...
33:53Of sex
33:53Even when you were talking about yourself
33:55You know in...
33:56In the bath
33:56Actually that
33:57Didn't do it
33:59For me
33:59Because
34:00The idea of sex is
34:02Truly terrifying
34:03To me
34:04As I'm sure it is to you
34:06I'm not even sure how I feel about kissing
34:10I just don't know
34:12What this is
34:15The way you make me feel
34:17The way you've
34:17Made me feel
34:19In an instant
34:21Is...
34:23It remains
34:24Something I...
34:25I can't explain
34:26Or...
34:27Or even understand
34:28Even now
34:32I...
34:34Something else
34:37Something more
34:39So
34:41That's it
34:46Now
34:47Now you have to talk
34:55I just wanted to see you
34:59Why?
35:01Because I like you
35:05What a safe word to use
35:10I suppose I was
35:12Worried about you
35:14Of course you are
35:19But um
35:22Thank you for
35:23The clarity
35:27About sex
35:46I don't want to have sex with you
35:51But I do want to hold your hand
36:19My position hasn't changed
36:24You're
36:26You're worried for me
36:27You don't want to have sex with me
36:29And you don't have feelings for me
36:31You're going to keep saying the word sex
36:32I know now
36:33I still just can't stop
36:37The promises are
36:39Everything
36:41To me
36:42My service
36:44To God
36:44Matters
36:46To me
36:49My feelings for you
36:51Are ones of
36:54Care
36:55And
36:57Friendship
37:00Okay
37:01All I want to do
37:04I want to help you
37:09You know
37:10I threw my life up
37:11For you
37:12And you can deny responsibility
37:14But I
37:15Hang on
37:15Hang on I'm responsible
37:16Yes
37:17Yes you are
37:18And now you are
37:18You're sat here like a
37:20A wet pudding
37:21And I feel like I'm the one
37:23Who has to make you feel okay
37:28I should go
37:29But you came to my service
37:31Yes I came to your church
37:32Why?
37:33To take part in a festival
37:35Well it felt like you
37:36What?
37:38What?
37:44I hoped it was an act of
37:47Friendship
37:50Must be lovely to have hopes like you've got
37:52I
37:55I want to be your friend
37:56And
37:58Help isn't a bad word
37:59I want to support you in what you're doing
38:01I want
38:02To
38:04I can't
38:05Be that
38:08But
38:08I can be
38:12I'd like to be your friend
38:13Okay
38:14Well I
38:15Accept your friendship
38:17You do?
38:18Yes
38:18Thank you
38:19Yes I do
38:19But
38:21I am
38:22I'm tired now
38:23And I want to go home
38:27Do you even know the way?
38:30Fair
38:31Always been good at retracing
38:32My steps
38:35I was sure
38:37When I became a nun
38:37And I am
38:38Equally sure now
38:39I
38:40I just know that
38:41God's path for me has changed
38:44And I
38:45I
38:47I believe
38:49That God's path for you
38:50Has changed too
38:52I am not
38:53Some
38:54Caged bird
38:55Who saw a means of escape
38:57I saw
38:58What you felt
39:02And I felt it too
39:06I didn't imagine it
39:08I don't know the way
39:13Yeah
39:20It's
39:22I don't know the way