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00:00Shorty West, Shorty West
00:04There's a girl who's haunting away
00:08Oh, so bad, and that came from
00:12Shorty West, Shorty
00:19Shorty West, Shorty West
00:21Shorty West, Shorty West
00:24Shorty West, Shorty West, Shorty West
00:32Shorty West
00:33Last week, halfway through the galaxy's seven-day tour around the Caribbean, Jane MacDonald, the songstress with psychic powers, foretold
00:40that Mary, a casino worker from Watford, should watch out for signs of itchiness or a rash. Days later, Mary
00:46contracted rubella and came out in spots. She was immediately put into quarantine with husband Dale. The spots were the
00:52least of her problems.
00:55It's pick a finger.
00:58I think they'd have a private room, wouldn't you?
01:00That was a week ago. Today, it's the start of a new cruise with new passengers, and Mary, out of
01:05quarantine, is going back to work.
01:07Meanwhile, in the ship's massive theatre, the singers and dancers are rehearsing for a brand new musical extravaganza, Celebrity Nights,
01:14and the curtain goes up tomorrow.
01:15Michelle is the almost completely elastic Adagi dancer, and her dance partner is the powerful Philip from South Africa. But
01:23her best friend is dance captain Jack. They've been on the cruise circuit for years. But the preparation for a
01:28first night never gets any easier.
01:30It's a relentless, exhausting, and sometimes thankless task, being a hoofer on the high seas.
01:45You get to know a person very well on a ship, and so friends get very tight here.
01:51Yeah, it's very intense.
01:53Your best buddies, your good friends, you're not romantically involved.
01:56No.
01:57Does that help?
01:58Oh, yeah. Yeah.
02:00There needs to be a little downtime. I think that's what keeps us friendly.
02:06Yeah, it's like, you know, oh, the hormones are kicking in. Okay, well, we take care of it, and then
02:11the next day it's, Michelle, what are you doing?
02:15Can you imagine being in a six foot by six foot cabin with Dale for six days?
02:23Okay. I'm very glad to be back at work. I love him dearly, but I'm very glad to be here.
02:29So I'm back.
02:31What are you saying about me?
02:32Just discussing you.
02:34She's back to normal, as you can see. Spotty.
02:38Pot free.
02:38Actually, she looks great, doesn't she? First thing they did was quarantine me as well. There was nothing wrong with
02:43me.
02:44But they took no risk, so we were confined prisoners, weren't we?
02:48How can you have a relationship when you're traveling? You don't want one on the ships because it just can
02:54be nasty.
02:55It gets ugly.
02:56It does. It gets very ugly sometimes.
02:58Everyone is part of your relationship. You don't have a relationship between the two of you. You know, every single...
03:05Well, these walls are so darn thin. I mean, you know, any argument you have or any discussion...
03:10Well, yeah, or...
03:12It's just thin.
03:13Yeah. There are exceptions. I mean...
03:16Bill and Mary are... Exactly.
03:17Bill and Mary are great.
03:19They're a complete exception to that, but they were together before they came on ships, and they have a really
03:23special relationship anyways.
03:28You all right, mate? You worn out?
03:30Except it's two. I've finished at half one, and I've got a 15 minute break.
03:36Why can't you go home yet?
03:37It's too busy.
03:38Oh. So you're not going to get up early in the morning?
03:42No. If you wake me, you will die.
03:49Here I go.
03:53Here I go.
03:55There you go.
03:57They have a 15 minutes.
03:59Oh.
04:00Sure, here I go.
04:00I am glad you guys have a 10 minute break.
04:00No.
04:01No.
04:02More disappointment.
04:03We're gonna' try.
04:05You� safiri.
04:07Here we go.
04:08Music are Ourいiz AB6
04:15Oh, it's, um, half past nine in the morning.
04:18I'm just going to sneak through and get some breakfast for Mary.
04:21It's our anniversary today.
04:25Hello.
04:26You've got a breakfast for me.
04:31We're going back one minute.
04:33We're going to try to pick up those two sessions in advance.
04:38Frosties, cornflakes, milk.
04:41He's just getting some orange juice and some tools.
04:43And then, um, I haven't got any flowers.
04:47But I've got some chocolates hidden in the room and a card.
04:49So, uh...
04:50Which anniversary is it?
04:54Sixth.
04:54Nearly caught me out there, yeah.
04:56Yeah, it's the sixth anniversary, yeah.
05:07Who says romance is dead?
05:11It's a big'un.
05:26Number one butler.
05:35Everyone's asleep down here
05:36because they all worked in the casino
05:37until four o'clock this morning.
05:45So, if everybody can just take your costumes off,
05:49take a break,
05:50then I just need Phil, Michelle and Jack.
05:52Hello.
05:55Happy anniversary, darling.
05:58Hello.
06:00No life there yet.
06:04Anyone up, darling?
06:06Happy anniversary.
06:09Just done your little snack.
06:13I'm sorry about the camera.
06:14It just followed me in here.
06:16If you turn around, I've got a little surprise for you.
06:23It's looked great.
06:25Mary on camera first thing in the morning.
06:27Look at that face.
06:30Put that there a second.
06:32Let me just put this light on.
06:35I'll get my little goodies out of here.
06:44Here we are, wifey.
06:51You know how you like chocolate in the morning?
06:57That'll make the blues go away.
07:01Do you know what anniversary it is?
07:05Six.
07:05Do you know what that is?
07:07Paper?
07:07No, that's a one.
07:09Wood?
07:09That's last year.
07:10Huh?
07:13Iron?
07:14Yeah.
07:15Iron.
07:15So I was going to buy you a T-shirt, and then you would say, what's that got to do
07:19with
07:19iron?
07:20And I'd go and iron it.
07:25I didn't have enough money.
07:26To me, the most dangerous thing on a stage ever is a feather.
07:30Okay?
07:31If you see that you've lost a feather, make it your responsibility to go get it.
07:35Okay?
07:36Because it's just like ice.
07:38You go down.
07:39So that's just a reminder.
07:41What you'll have to do is show all your folks at home this ridiculous giraffe you've bought.
07:45Junior.
07:46Where is he?
07:47Where is he?
07:48This is the sort of ridiculous things my wife buys.
07:54He's nice, isn't he?
07:55Yeah.
07:56This is another ridiculous item my wife's bought.
07:59I mean, I can see us having not enough money for a house, but enough money for a plot of
08:04land
08:04surrounded by crap, like this rain stick, because it'd come in handy.
08:13So happy anniversary, darling.
08:15Chocolate is better than sex, some people say, don't they?
08:17That's okay, aren't they?
08:20Not for me.
08:23Right.
08:23First night tonight, everybody.
08:25Relax, get yourselves in the right frame of mind, and best of luck.
08:29You're ready.
08:30It's going to be great.
08:34Life is a camaraderie jump, come see the people at the top of your head.
08:41Good luck, everybody.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Michelle, kill them, girl.
08:46All right, baby.
08:47Go on.
08:48Can't wait.
08:49I feel good about it.
08:50I feel good about it tonight, actually.
08:52I don't, you know, maybe ask me that again after the music started.
08:57I think we're going to kill them.
08:58We're going to knock them down.
08:59I'm really excited.
09:01I'm sure.
09:01You know, this is the best cast that I have worked with.
09:05They are so cool.
09:07Trust me when I say that, because this is a very unified cast.
09:12This cast bonded very, very fast.
09:17We had some people last time sleeping in the front row, but you get that, you know?
09:21Food, food, food is what they do.
09:23That's when Michelle Merlin, our singer, just blasts another octave lower and just knocks
09:27them out of their feet.
09:29Hi.
09:29You have to know that it's not you, because as soon as you give in to it, it's deadly.
09:34It's over for you.
09:35You might as well go home.
09:37Tonight's the night, so we'll see how it goes.
09:40Nervous?
09:42No, we're not, but I think they all are in there.
09:45It's the costume changes on this one.
09:47There's a lot of costume changes, and they tear back and forth, and that's what they've
09:50been having the problems with up to now.
09:51But we're okay.
09:53Fingers crossed.
09:58This is really strange, actually.
10:00I sat here waiting for the production show, because before I was a headliner, this is
10:05what I did for seven years, so I know exactly what they're coming through tonight.
10:09I'm feeling nervous for them all now, because I know exactly what's going to go on, so keep
10:14us fingers crossed.
10:14They'll be brilliant, I'm sure they'll be.
10:19Have a good show.
10:21Have a good show.
10:21Have a good show.
10:22Have a good show.
10:22Yes.
10:22They have not seen nothing yet.
10:30Gina's missing a backpack.
10:33All right, let's do it.
10:34Hope we can get through this.
10:37Places.
10:38Oh, my God.
10:39I get so nervous before the show.
10:41I just went to the bathroom.
10:42Gina, which one?
10:45Hey, you know what, though?
10:49If I didn't get nervous, I'd be worried.
10:53Do we have the clearance?
10:55Wow.
10:56Okay, stand by, everybody.
10:57Here we go.
10:58Have a good one, everybody.
11:00Oh, my God.
11:04Put it on her mirror.
11:05How is it half?
11:05I'm here, Mark.
11:06I'm freaked out.
11:07Yeah.
11:08Hey, how is it half?
11:09Welcome to Celebrity Nights, the hottest tickets most have in the show on your uptowns.
11:22Celebrity, Celebrity Nights.
11:25We need to rotate to get at least one side electric, standby electric in.
11:30Just give me the light.
11:33All night long.
11:36Just give me the light.
11:38All night long.
11:39We'll party.
11:41All night long.
11:44All night long.
11:45All night long.
11:46All night long.
11:48All night long.
11:50All night long.
11:52Put it in theยre, mag.
11:56You got it.
12:06When I think of you...
12:10Lady...
12:11It's going great, and Jack.
12:13Oh.
12:13What a body.
12:14Absolutely fantastic.
12:15What a dancer.
12:16Bless him.
12:17He's gorgeous, isn't he?
12:54It's a good dry ice night.
12:55It is a good dry ice.
12:57What's my life come to when I get excited about how the dry ice looks?
13:00It's good, isn't it?
13:02APPLAUSE
13:19They injured themselves.
13:26Really?
13:29You OK?
13:31Yeah?
13:32I'm sick, I broke my toe.
13:50Case, Iron Man.
13:52Well, not Iron anymore. I mean, it breaks off.
13:55What happened, man?
13:56I worked with Stomp when I did Clown.
13:58It broke your toe.
14:00Well, it's just a little piece of bone.
14:03Well, they'll...
14:04I mean, a broken toe, for me, a broken toe is like...
14:06Well, no, a little piece of bone broken off in the toe would be considered a broken toe.
14:10We've got Case has broken his toe, so we're frantically rehearsing.
14:15They're just filling in the parts he would normally take.
14:18But nobody can do the flying, because he does the acrobatics.
14:20That's right. I think he's going to have a go at flying, from what they were saying.
14:23He seems confident that, because he's in the air and on his feet, he can get through that.
14:28So, we'll have to see.
14:30We'll win.
14:31Great cast. They can just nail it.
14:34And for him to be flying with a fractured toe, I mean, it's so dangerous, you know?
14:39But these guys, they just, they go for it. They just go for it. I love that about it.
14:44To just give it what it's got to make the show go on, I mean, that's an old cliche, but
14:49these guys are making it work.
14:50That's great.
14:57Right? Drama. Are you going to be there, too?
14:59Drama, drama, drama, drama, drama, drama.
15:05Yeah!
15:08Staying clear.
15:12Okay, now we're at home.
15:29This is where we find out how well K's and Cece get off. Hmm?
15:33This is where we find out how well K's and Cece really get off.
15:37She sees, you know, she can get revenge right now.
15:39She can. Just squeeze that toe.
15:41Oh, ow!
15:46Ow!
15:46Ow!
15:48Ow!
15:51Ow!
15:51Ow!
15:51Ow!
15:51Ow!
15:52Ow!
15:53Ow!
15:53Ow!
15:56Ow!
15:57Ow!
16:06Ow!
16:10Ow!
16:11Yay!
16:11Good show!
16:12Good show!
16:14Good show!
16:15Good show!
16:16Woo!
16:18Yay!
16:23Thanks for coming.
16:25Thanks for coming.
16:30I'm on your side!
16:32well done good and that's how we do it I'm going home to have a heart attack
16:51absolutely sensational this talent that is in that show is just unbelievable I've never seen
16:56anything quite like it on the ship but the thing I can't believe is case he actually had a broken
17:01toe all the way through that show but that's the thing with ships there's no understudies the show
17:05must go on we ask only the highest and the best for Jane so she receives what she needs in
17:16this
17:16reading we ask for the protection and blessings of God so be it what I sense first of all is
17:22that
17:22you are very gifted psychically you know that about yourself you're very intuitive you're also very
17:30good at any kind of art you see because you're a very visual person I'm gonna treat my wife and
17:46I'm
17:46gonna treat each other to pair of rollerblades to lose some weight Mary's very good at skating I can't I
17:55might have to find a bum bag for her for the time she falls over and this is Key West
18:01it's beautiful
18:02here really is nice but we don't get much time here we have to leave at one right and here
18:08is here is
18:08the show is this shop they're expensive so I'd rather buy Mary a cheap pair but she won't have it
18:17I don't
18:17think do you have any questions at this point yes am I gonna be successful in what I do well
18:26the first
18:27thing that I see for you since you have the ability to be creative in any area and since you
18:33have the
18:33determination and the drive and the willingness to do your part you see you're more than willing to do your
18:39part I see you in a chariot where you're driving it so you're in charge you see you're in charge
18:46of
18:47your energy and I don't see anything really holding you back except your limited belief that you don't
18:53deserve it yes thank you yummy yummy yummy oh I like that t-shirt oh look good she's shopping while
19:20she's
19:20trying to space her come on sorry Chris okay I'm coming no you're not supposed to go backwards so
19:34well I didn't it just they did now stop I don't know how to stop yet no I'm not sure
19:42about stopping
19:46I don't know where to start first guys pressure on the cruise ship you incredible talent and we're
19:58privileged to work with incredible talent Jane don't seem to be a big headliner I feel you know
20:07she's and what a great workshop for her because so I can't justify anybody saying oh you know what
20:17a cop-out you're going on cruise ships then they have no idea what they're missing no that's too tight
20:23so this is good this is good this is good this is good I'm not buying it and the other
20:40question was am I
20:41still gonna be as happy with this man and how we gonna have the children would you give me his
20:46name
20:46please? Henrik. What is it? Henrik. Henrik. Henrik.
20:57Ta-da! Okay. I'll take them.
21:00Okay. There's two pair. Come here.
21:04No, I'm just going to...
21:06Ta-da!
21:11I sense within the next three to five years they're going to be children.
21:15I see two, and you're very gifted and loving that you will give those children wings.
21:22I am so full.
21:27Oh. I am so full.
21:28I don't know why. I really don't know why.
21:31I forget to eat. It's stupid.
21:33So I'm going to be able to do both. I'm going to be able to have the family and the
21:37career.
21:37Absolutely, because everything is coming your way. All you have to do is take the first step.
21:42You know, the old saying, the trip of a thousand miles begins with just a single step.
21:46So you take the step into your destiny.
21:48Ooh, sexy legs.
21:52It's the stopping...
21:56It's not straight there.
21:58Oh. Chris, don't film me. Help me.
22:03Oh, God.
22:05Oi, don't. No.
22:08I can't stop.
22:15Ow!
22:19Sometimes you judge yourself. Am I doing a good job? Is it good enough?
22:24Sound familiar?
22:26So, I'm very happy that you came in here.
22:29Oh, so am I.
22:30Well, thank you very much, and you go in peace.
22:32Don't! Don't!
22:35Don't pull me over on purpose. Get off me, bastard.
22:39Get off.
22:40Come on, hold my hand.
22:41No. Go away. I hate you. Get off.
22:43Hold my hand.
22:44No. You're trying to pull me over.
22:46I'm not trying to do it.
22:46No.
22:48Ah!
22:51See? I was going to help you.
22:53Yeah, but how do you get back up?
22:59Ladies and gentlemen, we're so glad to have you with us during this inaugural season.
23:03We have so much to share with you, so much great entertainment coming your way, some tropical ports of call
23:09to visit.
23:09Hello, love. Do you want me?
23:11Do you hear what happened to Philip?
23:14The Adage. You know the guy who does the Adage in the show?
23:17Fell over in the hallway outside his cabin this morning, hurt his back, out the show tomorrow.
23:23Oh, no!
23:23Off for three days.
23:25What? What's going to happen?
23:26Jack. You know Jack?
23:27Yeah.
23:27Who's the dance captain?
23:28They're going to try and block him into all those spots tomorrow.
23:31Oh, my God.
23:32For this evening's show here in the Celebrity Theatre, I've wanted to come up with a great introduction for a
23:38very good friend of mine that I'm about to introduce.
23:40All he does on stage, all that throwing around, never does anything.
23:44Oh, my goodness.
23:44Walks down the hallway, falls over.
23:46Do you believe that?
23:47Oh, poor Philip.
23:48You had a chance to meet her a couple of nights back during our Bon Voyage show.
23:52Oh, Jack will be fine.
23:54He's a pro.
23:55He's an absolute star.
23:57Ladies and gentlemen, please won't you welcome the Queen of Song.
24:01Oh, so many injuries.
24:03This is the trouble we dance with.
24:04There's, you know, a lot of injuries.
24:06A direct from England.
24:08I think you've just missed your cue.
24:10You're on.
24:10I told you about this.
24:12I told you about this.
24:12I told you about this.
24:12I told you about this.
24:12I told you about this.
24:12I told you about this.
24:14She has performed around the world from Los Angeles to England at the night.
24:19Last pick.
24:20I've never been there.
24:21Miss Jane McDonald.
24:23Woo!
24:24One, two, yeah!
24:28I think there's a moral to that story.
24:33She's on.
24:33Look at that.
24:34You never know the difference.
24:35What a professional.
24:38It can go on.
24:39It's just, um, it can go on.
24:42It's just going to have to sort of take some.
24:45I just now found out right now.
24:47Well, can I tell you?
24:47See if we can't get this one up and running.
24:49We've got 24 hours.
24:51On a clear day.
24:54On that clear day.
24:55What does Michelle have that she can do by herself to fill?
24:59She never, ever feels comfortable by herself.
25:02And if she does, I have to choreograph it on her.
25:04Because she doesn't like being on stage by herself.
25:06Ever.
25:07Don't know whether it's morning or night.
25:12Only know it's sounding right.
25:15I used a boombox, a good boombox.
25:18And if he can make me tape now, and we just have house lights on,
25:20and I can have the stage tonight.
25:22Sure.
25:23Done.
25:23I will always love you.
25:38Can I tell you?
25:39We have done this before.
25:40We have.
25:41That's why I'm very secure.
25:42We have done this before.
25:43It's true.
25:44As they say, the show must go on.
25:47All right.
25:47I'll see you later.
25:57What's that about the show must go on?
25:58Just when we thought it was all going so well.
26:06What's that about the show must go on?
26:09Yeah, Mama.
26:21What am I alive?
26:23What are you saying?
26:26And now for the bad news.
26:30What can I tell you that here aboard Galaxy, there is no bad news.
26:35Thanks for coming and have a wonderful time.
26:37Yes.
26:38Doug was saying it's going to be a really good week.
26:40Yeah.
26:41But it can't be any worse than last week.
26:44Hello, lovey.
26:45This is Michelle.
26:46Oh, bless you.
26:48Oh, you're all right, sweetie.
26:49How are you doing?
26:50I missed your show.
26:51I missed your show.
26:52Don't run it.
26:53Don't run it.
26:54I'm going to hold up.
26:54It's going to be all on for the time.
26:56I'm sure to be fine.
26:57Well, you'll be great.
26:58Thanks.
26:58Have a good rehearsal anyway.
27:02Reach forward.
27:05Come back in.
27:07Turn down.
27:08Slow down.
27:09Keep turning.
27:11Keep turning.
27:20I'm going to get my own arms.
27:21I can go down lower that way.
27:25I can go down lower that way.
27:26I can go down lower that way.
27:55Where?
27:58Yeah, that works.
28:08Oh, sorry, I'm hurt.
28:27Oh, sorry, I'm hurt.