- 9 hours ago
EastEnders 19th May 2026
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TVTranscript
00:00Music
00:35Look, I've got until the end of the week, yeah?
00:38Let's tell Russell to whine his neck in.
00:40I told him he was going to get his cash, and he's going to get it.
00:52There I was thinking I was meeting my sister for a nice little coffee,
00:55and I walk into this.
00:57Happy little family just for me, Vic.
00:59You ain't funny.
01:00So shut up, sit down and listen, yeah?
01:09I sold the bar in Portugal.
01:12The cash will be in my account very soon.
01:15So all you need to do is go and pay the lady.
01:19Much as it pains me to say he's right,
01:22I want to book a makeup artist for my wedding,
01:24not an embalmer for your funeral.
01:25Well, I don't need you or your money.
01:31Because I'm sorting this.
01:33Pride before a fall, Mark.
01:35And if you fall, we all do.
01:45The last thing we need is an out-of-practice Billy.
01:48He'll, er, end up with the wrong coffee or something.
01:51Can you tell him, please?
01:53Because just like his brother, I can't seem to penetrate this Mitchell dome of defiance.
01:57It's what Nigel would have wanted, to be in safe hands.
02:00Safe hands and Billy don't really go in the same centre.
02:03Yeah, well, he's doing it, all right?
02:04Suck it up.
02:05Everybody's doing their bit.
02:06Oh, right.
02:06In that case, you can do the dinner for tonight, can't you?
02:09You, er, you want this to have top-level cottage pie for tonight?
02:14Yeah.
02:15Oh, because I've got ovaries.
02:16I'm on oven duty.
02:17Honestly, if you wanted a 50s housewife to do the chores,
02:20one of you should have married one.
02:22Why can't he cook?
02:23He already thinks I'm taking his suit down the cleaners.
02:25You're on your way anyway.
02:27What's the problem?
02:27Can you save the burning the bra and the bickering for one day, yeah?
02:31I've got a list as long as your aunt is all out for tomorrow.
02:34So, you are doing dinner for tonight,
02:36and you can ring Ian about the food for tomorrow.
02:39And it's not for me, it's for Nigel, okay?
02:47You all right?
02:48Yeah.
02:49Er, just...
02:51omen and ar-ing over this eulogy.
02:53Nothing seems to do injustice.
02:56Well, you told the vicar I'm not doing one, yeah?
02:59Yeah.
03:00Er, right, I'd better go and call Claire,
03:03find out what time the train gets in.
03:06Er, tomorrow's coming whether we like it or not, eh?
03:23Come on, Louie, you've got to be late.
03:25Peter!
03:31Morning.
03:35The first car's getting delivered soon, so I wanted to come tell you face-to-face, just in case the
03:39police are tapping our phones.
03:42It's a joke, Laura.
03:44Yeah, we'd better send our very own Peaky Blinder out for some dosh.
03:48Sonja said we can use the rent money to fix the freezer, but that's her lot.
03:51We need newer, aren't we?
03:52All right, what are you doing here?
03:54Cathy said you were struggling with your back, mate, so I thought, er, I'd pop round and bring you to
03:59painkillers that I use.
04:00Er, no, you're all right, mate.
04:03I, I, I had a little bit of a painkiller thing and he's just, he's just being nice.
04:07So, er, if it makes you help me out round the house a little bit more than take them, pop
04:12away.
04:13Right, come on, you're going to be late.
04:14Take your bag and get out of here.
04:15I've already dropped Jimmy to your dad's.
04:16Come on, you're going to be late.
04:17Careful, my bag, will you?
04:19See you later.
04:20Love you.
04:24You might think it's funny.
04:25You had to do old Bill jokes.
04:27I don't.
04:28If I'm going to do this, then I need to understand how it all works.
04:32Bit by bit.
04:34So can you just do me a favour and just lay it all out for me?
04:38Cos I've got too much to lose here.
04:41Please.
04:48Remember to chew, yeah?
04:50Good.
04:54I come with coffee and an apology.
04:59Look, me and my brother, it's awkward.
05:03I don't know, maybe I have some hang-ups on being left out when it comes to him.
05:08But that is no excuse to shut you out.
05:12Cos, I mean, I know you'd never make me feel like the other one out.
05:18I'm sorry.
05:24I am taking it.
05:33Don't get it.
05:34We've got a washing machine at home.
05:35Cos, what do?
05:36It's full of ivory stuff, innit?
05:39And the old kitchen sheets still need cleaning.
05:43And you know what?
05:43Actually, Harry, could you go and watch him for a bit whilst I get this done?
05:47Just to make sure he's not up to anything.
05:48Oh, leave it out, Mum.
05:49Please, Harry.
05:51Can you just do this for me?
05:58And then I change the chassis numbers at the Archers.
06:00You sell them on with the logbooks.
06:02Clean and easy.
06:03Trust me.
06:07Look, Lauren, if anything does go wrong, it's on me, isn't it?
06:14Which is why we're going to do a 60-40 split.
06:17What?
06:18That's fair, innit?
06:19Besides, you're about to own half the car lot, so it's a win-win.
06:22The way I see it, this is the start of a very promising relationship.
06:29And I've always wanted a work wife.
06:41Dad, you can't just walk in here.
06:44Why not?
06:45With Dad, I want to talk to you.
06:50What's he doing?
06:51I was just going, actually.
06:54Tell Peter to only take half a pill, yeah?
06:56Strong stuff.
06:57Yeah.
06:57Max?
07:00Pain pills.
07:02For Peter, he's put his back out.
07:04Do you know what?
07:05Next time, just give me a call and I can tell you not to bother to come around here.
07:10Uh, listen, I've just seen another car turn up in the lot.
07:15What, is that your sauce, yeah?
07:17Yeah.
07:18With the bet still on, innit?
07:19It's just kicked your hands off my commission and all.
07:21No, look, I just wanted to triple check that your supplier's definitely all right.
07:25Yes, Dad, yes!
07:27The supplier is legit, all right?
07:29All right, calm down.
07:29I don't want to row with you, Lauren.
07:31I love you too much to fall out of you.
07:33I just don't want this bet to mean we're at each other's throats, that's all.
07:36The bet is still on.
07:39I have till the end of the week to prove that you need to be in business with me.
07:43And that is what I'm going to do.
07:44All right?
07:45Just see yourself out.
08:00I guess being a mum isn't all giggles, right?
08:03The dirty work still needs to be done.
08:05This is George's dad's stuff, actually.
08:08I see.
08:11Hold up.
08:12I'm sorry, but you'll have to take this business elsewhere.
08:15I spoke to Elaine, and I know exactly who that man is.
08:20Look, I ain't defending him, all right?
08:23But he's a dying man.
08:24I'd have thought a woman of faith yourself, you'd understand that.
08:28Really?
08:32Okay.
08:37I think you are the one who needs to understand.
08:58Hiya.
08:59Are you all right?
09:00Yeah, I thought I'd come over and help you with some funeral stuff.
09:03Oh.
09:05Oh.
09:07Phil said you'd be cooking.
09:11Not going well, then?
09:12No.
09:13Honestly, a takeaway would have been much easier, wouldn't it?
09:16How are you doing?
09:18Well, better than you, by the looks of it.
09:21Well, come on.
09:22Maybe I can help by giving you a hand, yeah?
09:25Sure.
09:32Look, I get it, okay?
09:35The man is scum.
09:37So is my dad.
09:38I grew up surrounded by men like that, but I am doing this for George, even if you don't think
09:44it.
09:44If he can understand that, surely you can too.
09:49I understand acceptance and tolerance.
09:53I have practiced it my entire life.
09:56But for you to expect me to do that for this, that is a weight that I will not carry.
10:02It is a test too far.
10:04And to ask George to in any way do the same after what that man did to him.
10:15To have your heritage stolen away from you.
10:21Your history erased.
10:23To be treated less than a human being.
10:27And then, to bring that man into his home with his child.
10:34I don't know how George can even breathe the same air as him.
10:39Well, he can't.
10:41We're lucky if he's in the house for five minutes.
10:43And yet, you still have that man in your home.
10:47You think you're supporting George.
10:50And you're helping him to heal.
10:52But you're taking away his choice.
10:54And you have no right to do that.
11:14Penny said if I bought her a hatchback, she'll take my name off the birth certificate.
11:17But this, this is nice.
11:20Someone's already reserved it.
11:22Sorry, Penny.
11:22Oh, that's a shame.
11:24Well, they don't turn up.
11:25Just give me a cup, yeah?
11:26Yeah.
11:31Let me guess.
11:33My new work wife has a conscience.
11:36Alright, okay.
11:37Number one, do not call me that.
11:40Number two, you know the saying.
11:41You don't, you know what, on your own doorstep.
11:44It's practically family.
11:45Yeah, well, if it made money, I would, you know what, on your own doorstep.
11:52By each of their own.
11:53Look, I've got someone coming to look at the car later.
11:56So, try not to scare them off, okay?
11:58Yeah.
12:00Bring these together, remember?
12:19I've got some less-minute thoughts.
12:21French fancies.
12:23Nigel loved them.
12:24And some party wings, too.
12:26You, uh, said you'd open it.
12:32Couldn't do it.
12:35Um, yeah.
12:37Of course, I might have enough time before the funeral to bear it, you know, but...
12:50These were his last words to me, Phil.
12:55And this eulogy are mine to him, aren't they?
13:00And he always knew what to say.
13:02And what if, what if this is perfect, eh?
13:06So, when I get up there and stand and talk, then that's got to be perfect, too, hasn't it?
13:14And what if it's not enough?
13:18And my mum, she, uh, she wrote me a letter, and I struggled opening it, too, probably, because, uh, you,
13:25you feel like it's the end.
13:26But it ain't the end.
13:28You know, you think about him, you dream about him, you, you hear him say things to you, you know,
13:35and you, you say things that you would have said to them.
13:41They won't be his last words to you.
13:44And what you say, that, it won't be the last things that you say to him, either.
13:52Might as, uh, stop stressing about it, because Nigel would not want that.
13:57Right?
14:08Squeeze your plans, Governor.
14:12Um, banana milk's here.
14:14If you answered your phone, I would have got you one, too.
14:18Relax.
14:18I'm just talking.
14:20I know.
14:21It's just, I don't want to hurt anyone, you or Jasmine.
14:27And last night, we got too close to hurting everyone.
14:32Yeah.
14:33Yeah, I get that Jasmine is my sister, and I love her.
14:37So, from now on, let's, let's just keep our distance, yeah?
14:41And then no one gets hurt.
14:54Gee, can you run me back?
14:55I'm worried.
15:05I think I'm in love with twins.
15:12It's a bit rough round here, ain't it?
15:15Well, you're a drug dealer from Stepney.
15:18Former drug dealer.
15:19And it's the Hornchurch now.
15:21Oh, is it?
15:22Well, this is the car.
15:23Lovely little motor, innit?
15:24That ain't for me.
15:26It's for Maria.
15:28Hiya.
15:28Um, I'm Priya.
15:29I'm your sales assistant.
15:30How can I help?
15:31John.
15:32John, er, er, Conway.
15:34Well, so no more, Mr. Conway.
15:36How can I help today?
15:39I'll take this one.
15:40Bring it up for me, Tia.
15:43Well, for a ten-second sale, I'll be to you any day.
15:45Er, no offence, but, um, this is Lauren's sale.
15:49She's our point of contact.
15:50Your point of what?
15:51Everything all right?
15:52Well, no, apparently not.
15:54I feel like I'm being stiffed out of a commission here.
15:55What, you two are going to split it then, are you?
15:57Oh, no, no, it's just we, um, we spoke on the phone earlier.
16:00John.
16:01John Conway.
16:02Ah, yes.
16:03Do you want to take a look inside?
16:05He doesn't need to, do you?
16:06Yeah, he'll take it, right, mate?
16:08Yeah.
16:09Perfect, I'll just grab the keys.
16:11Lauren, this is a PC bar,
16:14and you want to ask a few details about the arson case?
16:17Er, yeah, I'm just with the customer now.
16:18I'll come back later, yeah?
16:20John.
16:21John, I need this.
16:22So about these torch cars.
16:29Oh, if I was only 20 years younger,
16:31I'm the only one who likes Cher.
16:33Try 30 years.
16:35Look, I know I've checked to find gay boys beats playing politics with Ian Beal,
16:39but it's only day two, you might do some work today.
16:41Oh, no.
16:43Watch that one.
16:46I'm fine, I promise.
16:48Okay, I'll pop by the weekend, yeah?
16:50All right, I love you.
16:51Yeah.
16:52Hello, darling, what can I get you?
16:53Oh, cheapest shots you've got, please, and keep them coming.
16:57Boy trouble.
16:58Hmm, worse.
17:01Taken boy trouble.
17:02Well, darling, you've come to the right bar.
17:04Between me and the landlady,
17:05we've got every cautionary tale covered.
17:07So this drink's on us.
17:08Oh.
17:09Also, so as somebody who has chased taken men,
17:12and been chased as a taken woman,
17:14I can tell you,
17:15it only ends in tears.
17:17So may I suggest you jump off a non-runner
17:21and ride yourself a winner.
17:30See you at night.
17:32All right, Lauren, we're going to have a little look around, yeah?
17:35Not really bad at that.
17:37I've got something wrong on the floor, but
17:39if you want to do a test drive, you can do that, yeah?
17:41Is that good?
17:42Dad, can I have a word, please?
17:43Uh, yeah.
17:44I'm going to be late.
17:45I'll just see you.
17:46You OK?
17:47Right, well, you're obviously not worried about my supplier, then.
17:49Yeah, we're a team, aren't we?
17:51This is still my lot, Lauren.
17:52Yeah, for now.
17:53But the bet's still on, isn't it?
17:54So keep your hands off of my car.
18:02You've created a monster.
18:04I and Mark practically shoulder barged me off an easy sail earlier.
18:13You all right?
18:14I asked around.
18:16Mark's been called him a question in twice before he got here.
18:20Car theft, apparently.
18:21Wait, man, you just can't prove anything yet.
18:23Just calm down, will you?
18:26If he is sniffing around Lauren, Natty's bad nose, yeah?
18:28You just keep your hands off of him and your eyes on her.
18:31Just for now.
18:32Yeah.
18:50You just keep your hands off of him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:51eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:51eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:51eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:51eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:52eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:52eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:52eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:53eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:53eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
18:56eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your eyes on him and your
19:02eyes
19:10I'm hoping that's not our goal.
19:14He's asleep.
19:15I don't know how you put up with him.
19:17I nearly grabbed a pillow and finished him off myself.
19:22Welcome to my world.
19:27Is George alone yet?
19:32No, of course he ain't.
19:37You know, if anybody thinks that I want that scumbag in my house,
19:43then they are wrong.
19:47He makes me sick to my stomach, Harry.
19:50He really does.
19:56You're Andy's right.
20:00But I made a choice and it's hurting George.
20:03Maybe I was wrong.
20:06He has to be here to keep a roof over our heads.
20:11I'm doing this for my family, for his baby and for mine.
20:15I am doing this for the greater good.
20:17I know you, Mum.
20:20I know you would do anything for the people that you love.
20:23But sometimes your greater good ain't worth the pain that it causes.
20:29What good is a roof over our head if you ain't got a family under it?
20:41Look at this.
20:42Hey.
20:43Hey.
20:44We've done a good job.
20:45Er, that'd be the royal wee, wouldn't it?
20:54Oh, Denise, that looks really sore.
20:56How'd you do it?
20:57Oh, catching Raymond off the slide down the park.
21:02Barely felt it.
21:03Got two more on me leg I didn't even know I had.
21:08Got me blood test appointment tomorrow, after the funeral.
21:11Yeah.
21:12So I won't be able to make it to the wait,
21:13so I thought least I could do is help out today.
21:15Yeah, well, thank you, cos, look, I can't wait to serve this.
21:19Mmm.
21:20Yeah.
21:21I'm gonna make sure that Grant's plate of pie is, um...
21:25Well, just a little bit more extra level.
21:28Oh!
21:36Listen, Mark.
21:37What have you got going on with Lauren?
21:38I really don't want to know.
21:48If you think this has got something to do with Ravi...
21:50I don't.
21:52But I do know that he would be dead if it wasn't for me.
21:56I kept my mouth shut, Priya.
21:58I put myself in this mess for him.
22:01So now it's his turn to help.
22:04Well, but he's in a mental health unit.
22:06What do you want me to do, drag him out?
22:08I want his money, not him.
22:09And I want it now.
22:10What money?
22:11Are you joking?
22:12Do I look like I'm joking?
22:14I know he has money stashed away.
22:16Don't lie to me!
22:17Hey, no money, no Ravi.
22:20Do you know what?
22:21If spare change is what you're after,
22:24then be my guest.
22:26But honestly, we've got nothing.
22:35You can give me the code to the safe.
22:42I mean, I don't think anybody could top my trouble at the minute.
22:46Here's the daddy's one thing, but...
22:48A sexual love triangle with twins, yeah.
22:52Hats on.
22:53With Jasmine, okay?
22:54It's not a triangle, it's a...
22:56Yeah, you weren't exactly playing tiddly weeks with him, are you?
23:00Might as well shave my head and start wearing three-piece suits.
23:04Apple don't fall far from the cheat tree, does it?
23:07Right, come on, let's get a drink and we can work all this out, yeah?
23:10It's nothing to work out.
23:12I'm with Jasmine.
23:14Me and Josh, we can still be friends, but nothing else.
23:17It's good.
23:19Well, I think he's way ahead of you.
23:34That was lovely, son, thank you.
23:37Am I the only one that's struggling here?
23:39Your taste's always been questionable.
23:42Double denim in the 80s, Jane Beale.
23:44They spring to mind.
23:45Have you poisoned me?
23:48Oh, please.
23:49I'd have thought you'd be walking eggshells around me right now.
23:51Can you two shut up, yeah?
23:53What have you got going on?
23:54Can you just bark it off?
23:55Can you just do that, please?
24:03It's just that Nigel would expect a little bit of Mitchell madness, wouldn't he?
24:11You, uh, spoke to Mark about the bar money, yeah?
24:17Apparently he's sorting it out himself.
24:19Well, let's just, uh, let's just concentrate on tomorrow, and give Nigel the send-off that he deserves.
24:29Let's keep the madness to a minimum, yeah?
25:01Let's keep the madness.
25:32Let's keep the madness.
25:51All right, okay, um, I'm gonna go.
25:54You coming?
25:56No, not yet.
25:57No, not yet.
26:00No, not yet.
26:14No, not yet.
26:27You know how I feel about you, and I think I know how you feel about me, but us isn't
26:34gonna happen without hurting everyone.
26:38Just let me be the one to stay away, and I'll be the only one who gets hurt.
26:43Just let me be the only one to stay away.
26:58I think, OK.
27:01I don't know.
27:04Oh, God!
27:45Oh, my God.
28:10Next episode of EastEnders is available tomorrow from 6am on BBC iPlayer.
28:16As we'll also find hard-hitting drama with Richard Gad and Jamie Bell as tortured souls in Half-Man.
28:22While on Sounds, Gangster presents the story of Ronnie Biggs, the great train robber.
28:27Listen now.
28:48I'll see you next time.
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