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00:06Tonight, on Wiseguy...
00:11Stem's completely lost it.
00:13I want you to take charge of the investigation, Kozak.
00:16All right, then we'll do it my way.
00:18Perhaps a freewheeling discussion on how our town works
00:20will help you get to the bottom of this tragedy.
00:23I'd like that very much.
00:24And maybe if we have time, we could see a movie.
00:27You got a serial killer there, Frank.
00:29I just hope you're not riding with him.
00:33Coco.
01:01Bobby is swimming.
01:04We can...
01:13We can...
01:23We can not...
02:25What am I going to do with him?
02:26Keep him out of Wainsborough.
02:28Why? What are you going to do?
02:29I'm going to get close to Volchek and I don't have a lot of time.
02:34What's this?
02:35It's Bobby. He told me to get rid of him.
02:41To get rid of somebody means to me to remove them from my personal space.
02:45To you, it obviously means something different.
02:48Let's say if I want somebody to no longer be here as in the expiration of their mortal existence.
02:53You understand what I'm saying?
02:55Yeah. You mean dead.
02:57Shh, shh, shh. We won't use that word.
02:59The word we'll use is, uh, Marek.
03:04If I say to you, we'll let Marek handle this, it'll mean, you know, like Bobby.
03:13Marek?
03:13Marek. It's a name in the movie.
03:15Ah.
03:16You'll come and watch it.
03:17Yeah.
03:18Thank you, Deputy Nikosa.
03:20Okay. Okay.
03:21And, uh, no more Marek.
03:24Yeah.
03:35Limitations are given to us by our leaders.
03:38By accepting them, our life is made better.
03:41Remember, remember, that it was only through the efforts of Moses that the Israelites reached the promised land.
03:49In the desert, the Israelites recognized their limitations, their need to be led,
03:56so that they could reach the land of milk and honey.
04:06If I might digress, I notice that the newest member of the community is finally with us today.
04:18And as the Israelites welcomed the hairy Hittite to their bosom, let us welcome Vinnie Kozak.
04:30All rise.
04:37Page 41, Vinnie.
04:39Shall we gather at the river
04:44Where bright angels be now trod
04:49With this crystal tide forever
04:56Glowing by the crown of God
05:03Yes, we'll gather at the river
05:09Well, I guess it's back to the old speed trap, huh?
05:12No work today, Vinnie.
05:13Today's a slugfest.
05:14Gather with the saints at the river
05:20Gather with the saints at the river
05:21That glows by the crown of God
05:27Yes, we'll gather at the river
05:32The beautiful, the beautiful river
05:38Gather with the saints at the river
05:44Come on, Rev. Bless them and let them rip.
05:47Boys, you know as well as I do that we can't start without...
05:50Well, here we go.
06:00Welcome to the Sunday Slugfest.
06:02Our champion, of course, is still Mike Sweeney from the Shavings Disposal Department.
06:09And our challenger is young Donnie Wollavec.
06:19Your day, Donnie. Make the most of it.
06:23Thank you, sir.
06:26Come on, Sweeney.
06:28Come on, Sweeney.
06:30Make it quick.
06:34Hit hard, boys, and watch the good things happen.
06:55He's doing worse than me.
06:57What the hell's the matter with you?
07:00Get it!
07:16Donnie.
07:17Donnie.
07:19Stay down. Stay down. You can't beat him.
07:21Stay out of it.
07:40He's going to kill him.
07:41This is a rite of passage, Vincent.
07:43He has to become a man.
07:45Come on.
08:07He's down on this.
08:09Get him now. Get him now. Get him.
08:15Come on, baby.
08:18Stay down, Donnie.
08:26That's it. That is enough.
08:28I'll tell you enough.
08:30Come back.
08:32I will speak with you immediately.
08:40Come on, Donnie. Come on. Get up. Come on, let's go.
08:51Reverend Adams, when Sweeney recovers, take him over to the Corvette Club
08:55and make sure he gets a Sunday special on me.
08:58Stemmer, take it from here.
09:04Mealtime, boys. Let's eat.
09:14Kozak. Kozak, get away from that boy and get back to the office.
09:18Get Donnie and bring him to me immediately.
09:34I didn't want Kozak to help. He did it on his own.
09:38I like him, Donnie. I really like him.
09:42But I'm afraid of what I might say to him at this moment.
09:48Walk with me.
09:51You've got to let me try it again, please.
09:53I want to fight Sweeney without Kozak stopping him.
09:56If you don't go through Slugfest, you're not a man.
10:01I'm sorry.
10:02Donnie, it's not a matter of contrition or repentance.
10:05It's a matter of attrition.
10:08The grinding down of friction.
10:10Or as in this case, the bare knuckles of the Slugfest.
10:15So that I am able to retire the boy
10:18and introduce the man,
10:21the deputy, the happy citizen.
10:23And as a result, when the town sees you in uniform,
10:26they'll know you've earned it
10:28and the respect it deserves.
10:32But for now, I'm a disgrace.
10:34Of course, Donnie.
10:36But I promise you,
10:37I'll get you another shot at getting pounded.
10:40Faster than you can say Jack Dempsey
10:42will have that one eye looking just like the other one.
10:44Now grab yourself some me-time, Donnie,
10:46and come on back and have some lunch.
10:49Yes, sir.
10:50By this time, next Sunday,
10:52we could have you standing on Main Street
10:53in a pair of dark glasses, a cane, and a cup.
10:56Oh, no.
10:57Donnie, what is it?
10:59Oh, no.
11:05Red gets never.
11:09Jeff, get back.
11:49Step, stop, Donnie.
11:56My pals.
11:59Those are my pals.
12:01Someone stole them like a thief in the night.
12:04Attitudes, Tim.
12:05Attitude.
12:07Get them out of there.
12:15A quick prayer.
12:17Men for two of our finest.
12:19Murder.
12:21Murder!
12:23Murder!
12:24Murder!
12:28Murder!
12:32Oh, my boy.
12:35Murder!
12:38Oh, my boy.
12:54Last time we were together,
12:55we shared a plug of Red Indian Chew,
12:58and I talked about you going to Copenhagen.
13:03They were fine men, Stem.
13:06They were good dancers, too.
13:20Stem's completely lost it.
13:30This is a quiet little town, Vince.
13:32Nothing, and I mean nothing, happens here.
13:36Tranquility is my silent partner.
13:46I want you to take charge of the investigation, Cossack.
13:49Oh, yeah?
13:52Now's the time for initiative, Vince.
13:53I'll make it worth your while.
13:55All right, then we'll do it my way.
13:58All right, but no Merrick.
14:01At least, I don't want to know about it.
14:04Deal?
14:05All right, the first thing we do is get these bodies on ice
14:08until your forensics department can take a look at them.
14:10Then we'll drag the river.
14:11You think we've got a forensic department here?
14:13Right now, all I got is a local meat locker
14:15and a bridge troll for sheriff.
14:17All right, then we need to bring in an expert.
14:18Forget it.
14:19The next thing we need is a federal investigator.
14:21Fed? What the hell?
14:22You think you're the only guy that has somebody in their pocket?
14:24I got this friend.
14:28Vincent.
14:38And look at it this way.
14:40How long do you think Rogo's going to let you handle this by yourself?
14:42This case is a loudmouth's paradise.
14:44He's going to have outside help here in hours.
14:48Oh, no!
14:51No!
14:52No!
14:57Frank, we've got trouble here.
14:59Oh, swell. Give me the highlights.
15:01Two dead cops.
15:03You're kidding.
15:04Those are the guys that have been missing for a couple of weeks.
15:07I'm on my way.
15:08Do you need anything?
15:09Bring me a forensic pathologist.
15:11Something finally went wrong in a big way, Mark.
15:16What are you going to do?
15:17Lower your voice.
15:18What do you mean, lower my voice?
15:20I think we all should hear what you're going to do.
15:23It's a case of what should we all do, isn't it?
15:26I mean, tragedy is indiscriminate.
15:29You of all people, Rogo, should know that.
15:31That's right.
15:32Act like you're in control.
15:35Stem's way too close to all this.
15:37I've placed Deputy Kozak in charge.
15:40Mark, these two are cops.
15:41We need the state to investigate this.
15:43He's right.
15:44We need outside help.
15:46I agree.
15:47But why rely on the state when we can have a federal investigator?
15:51All right, listen up.
15:55A forensics expert and a federal investigator will be here in a few hours.
15:59Cops will not allow other cops to be murdered.
16:03Now, please go home.
16:07And let us carry on with our investigation.
16:11I said go home.
16:13Now, go on.
16:14Move.
16:16Move.
16:18Move.
16:20Move.
16:22Move.
16:23Move.
16:29Move.
16:33Move.
16:36Move.
16:49Move.
17:09i'm putting you on the bench for this one stem vince is going to quarterback the investigation
17:14but the the situation the the particular you're out on thin ice and you are jumping up and down
17:26take some time stem relax
17:40so you're a man of medicine crowd
17:49whenever the master says do this thing i do it whatever the thing may be
18:33call for the robin red breast and the wren
18:37since or shady groves they hover and with leaves and flowers
18:45to cover the friendless bodies of unburied men
19:13what a waste
19:19yeah
19:20donnie donnie is mark there yeah he's right here
19:28what
19:28kozak's fan has arrived at the main locker
19:31you want me to
19:32i want to talk to this man alone you stick with kozak
19:35pace is our pal donnie
19:59mr bolchek
20:01yes how'd you know
20:02oh just a wild guess
20:04i'm frank mcpike
20:06i have the forensics men inside
20:08it's nice to meet you
20:13hello rizzo
20:17say hello to mr bolchek
20:19hello
20:21so how's it going
20:23looks pretty cut and dried frank
20:24gonna have to take him back to portland though
20:26portland that's impossible
20:27i want this thing done now
20:30mr mcpike
20:40kozak assured me you knew the parameters here i was told you had an arrangement
20:43and a murder is a murder and i'm a federal officer the bodies have to be dealt with by the
20:47book
20:48the book doesn't have to leave the library does it
20:51let's just call it a reference book
20:53you can study it as long as you want
20:56just don't take it from the reading room
20:58i still have a job to do
21:01i've got a town on the edge of hysteria mr mcpike
21:03don't rattle cages when sleep is what they need
21:08questions still have to be asked
21:10i shall gather the worried in a friendly place and quell their darkest fears
21:14i want nothing to disturb the tranquility of my town
21:24i owe silver
21:27everything wrong with this town has to do with volchek
21:29and everybody knows it
21:31what exactly is it that's wrong rogo
21:34100 percent employment
21:36swell schools
21:37free cable tv
21:39no what i think everybody knows is wrong is you
21:43now volchek is ultimately responsible for the murders
21:47well that's speculation i need evidence what would be his motive
21:50i'm telling you you can't do this by the numbers
21:52i mean there's not going to be a colonel mustard in the library with a wrench right stem
21:58you want a motive control
22:02you want a murder weapon this whole bloody town
22:04and i'm telling you that's not good enough
22:07he's nuts
22:08sits in that empty house
22:10watching that same terrible movie over and over and over again
22:15a bad taste in film is not a criminal offense
22:18i'll just wait till you've seen it
22:20the two dead men
22:25they were practically volchek's bodyguards
22:27you check what they really did for a living
22:30they were duly appointed deputies in charge of the peace in this community
22:33if mr volchek sought their help in regards to various industries
22:36stem you're turning into an old whore
22:38if you weren't a cripple i'd mop the floor with you
22:44it's like old times huh stem
22:48only volchek's not around to give you a hand
22:54go on stem
22:56take a shot
23:23let's go over to the treetop inn let's find volchek
23:29stay on one more thing
23:33i know those two of your buddies
23:37and i know how much you must be hurt inside
23:42i'm sorry
23:51i appreciate everyone's concern
23:54these deaths are tragic
23:55but please folks there's nothing to worry about
23:59rick
24:00mr volchek
24:01mr volchek
24:01we're all scared
24:03i mean heck
24:06tesla was a big strong guy
24:08and now stem is saying somebody killed him
24:12here they are folks
24:13the men of the hour
24:15allow me to introduce frank mcpike
24:18federal investigator
24:19are you really a dick
24:27federal investigator
24:32yes sir
24:33federal investigator
24:34i am going to take care of this folks
24:38just like my father did when you all needed health insurance
24:41just like his father did
24:43during the thanksgiving day mine collapse of 31
24:46the key here is to cooperate fully with mr mcpike
24:50and in the meantime
24:52concentrate on the good things of our town
24:56we all have jobs
24:59we don't lock our doors
25:01and our kids love to sing
25:03well he's pretty smart
25:04i thought you said he was insane
25:06let them do their work
25:06just wait till you visit goslava
25:08the best thing for all of you to do
25:10is to get some sleep
25:13max
25:13max
25:15break out some brandy
25:16and give us all a little warm up
25:17for our journey
25:18you bet mr volchek
25:22kozak
25:23get back to the office
25:24and wait for the forensics report
25:26that's a good idea
25:29mr mcpike
25:30may i invite you up to my house for a nightcap
25:34perhaps a freewheeling discussion on how our town works
25:36will help you get to the bottom of this tragedy
25:39i'd like that very much
25:40and maybe if we have time
25:42we could see a movie
25:44a movie
25:51you do know these roads pretty well huh
25:54just like the town
25:56the mine
25:57the mill
25:59they're my responsibility
26:00my product
26:01i've been in the family for almost a century
26:03you'll be here your whole life
26:05i will always live here
26:11you have reached the wheels of goslava
26:14can i talk to frank mcblanky
26:16whom may i say is calling
26:19this is his superior
26:20put him on
26:21he's right here go ahead
26:23it's procedure
26:26mcpike
26:27can you talk
26:28sure go ahead
26:29i'm right here with mr volchek
26:30those two deputies
26:32they drowned after being bound with 20 pound cord
26:35is it about my men
26:37please
26:37they were rendered unconscious by a shot from a stun gun to the base of the skull
26:42the gun had apparently been lethally modified
26:46well
26:46i ran this through the computer frank
26:48and a number of large bells went off
26:51i mean the big ben type
26:52keep going
26:54ammo
26:55it matches the murders of eight girls in the portland area
26:59you got a serial killer there frank
27:01the stun gun killer to be exact
27:06i just hope you're not riding with him
27:28wise guy will continue
27:31wise guy will continue
27:43suggesting that you have no time for love
27:48there have been no others ward
27:56you must be tired
27:57coco
27:59yes
27:59rather worse for dust
28:03thank you
28:03in the meantime crow will show you to your chambers
28:05so that you may refresh yourself
28:06i will ring for him
28:09my father raised the most
28:11beautiful
28:12delicate orchids
28:13very difficult
28:16he had to keep them at the same
28:18precise temperature
28:21parcel out moisture
28:22most carefully
28:24and above all
28:26protect them from the slightest draft
28:28from outside
28:31hell of a job
28:32i practice my passion
28:35on the town
28:36my own little hothouse flower
28:40i've made it into a
28:41colorful tremulous orchid
28:44so similar to what my father did
28:46but i think
28:47more beautiful
28:49congratulations
28:51do you know much about orchids
28:53what makes them so beautiful
28:55is that they require a specialized pollination
28:59because of a twisted ovary
29:03are you saying
29:06poor sir robert
29:12here are your chambers sir
29:14i trust you will find things to your liking
29:16if not
29:18oh
29:19oh the maids
29:20i must treat the leech punctures on her face
29:23she's resting sir
29:24as you advised
29:25i've taken the liberty of painting her face with hot compresses
29:29and a disinfectant tincture
29:31oh excellent
29:32so you're a man of medicine crow
29:36i am a man of all work sir
29:38when my master says cry
29:40do this thing
29:41i do this thing
29:41whatever it may be
29:42well
29:43most commendable
29:44thank you sir
29:59i am a man of all work sir robert
30:05oh
30:06oh
30:08excuse me i have to use your phone
30:11shall i mute sir robert
30:26hey uncle what's up frank all hell is about to break loose there's a 40-man stun gun killer
30:32task force heading your way and he could be there as early as tomorrow morning all right
30:36it'll blow vince's cover you tell him he's got to get out of here hey i tried to but he's
30:40convinced
30:41it's volchek he's heading up there right now to move in for the kill he's on his way up here
30:46yeah and he's got the sheriff and a woman named lazy i tried to stop him frank but i couldn't
30:52i'm sorry all right uncle thank you i appreciate it
30:59the many of the little fellas are most eager to know you better
31:04they will cover you from your face down the whole length of you all the way down to your toes
31:10no no you wouldn't you don't want to do that call
31:20no no no no no
31:26do you like the leeches
31:39your deputies drowned after they were tied together with 20 pound nylon cord
31:43and shocked into unconsciousness with a stun gun
31:47the ammo matches that of a serial killer sought after in five states
31:52including washington
31:56so lacy
31:59who likes to get weird down at the corvette club
32:02i don't think that's any of your business
32:10all right look now i need some straight answers here
32:12there's eight women dead there's eight brutal murders now you drop the riddles honey who likes it rough
32:18lynchborough is strictly missionary position bill
32:21i got two zebra costumes the carlson twins use on valentine's day
32:28and the reverend adams likes to come in every two weeks dressed in a leather tux and wants to be
32:32called wolfie
32:34that's about it what about volchek
32:38he's not weird just very selective
32:41all right all right of the people that use you or should use you who doesn't
32:46you mean besides you
32:49yeah besides me
32:57i don't gamble either
33:00mm-hmm
33:04mm-hmm
33:12mm-hmm
33:16grave robbing
33:18you know both my father and grandfather are here at gorslava
33:22we should plan a picnic
33:25more cocoa
33:25no
33:30why don't we stop this right here
33:33we got a problem here
33:35has there been a break in the case
33:37those two deputies were whacked by a serial killer
33:40eight girls from here to portland were killed in the same way
33:43now there's gonna be a task force of forty up here in the morning
33:46i gotta get back to the sheriff's office so i can hook up with the portland ocb
33:49whatever you got going here you better tidy it up
33:52well first
33:55we've got to think of the hospital
33:57now how could this affect the hospital
33:59has your gyroscope been so completely altered that you can't grasp priorities
34:06gentlemen
34:06gentlemen
34:07i suggest we talk
34:08we don't have time to talk
34:11we don't have time to talk
34:11hold on a minute for me
34:13this affair is going to generate nothing but bad publicity for our community
34:18it will affect plans for my hospital
34:21i'm afraid i'm going to have to insist that we take this investigation slowly and quietly
34:26you don't ask federal agents to go slowly and quietly
34:28don't ever tell mr volchek what he can or can't do
34:33oh brother i'm going back to town
34:34vinnie i need a ride
34:40get the cop in the pocket
34:42back in your pants
34:46initiative
34:48strong arm initiative
35:03i've really got to think about this
35:06i've really got to think about this
35:19everything is teetering on the edge
35:26the hospital
35:28the culmination
35:30of decades of work
35:31the instrument of my dreams
35:33now fast becoming another kingly fantasy
35:38i won't stand for it
35:40i simply will not have it die this way
35:47absolutely no one to turn to
35:52forty men tomorrow morning
35:54it has to be dealt with tonight
35:58i don't mind saying that you certainly are a very big part of the problem
36:03stammer
36:05but dance solo
36:07three feet of water with two dead men really didn't help the situation
36:12no not at all
36:14not at all
36:16on the other hand
36:17you've come about as far as a human doorstop could go
36:22no
36:23you should consider yourself
36:26a success
36:29well say something stammer
36:32say something
36:36i'm sorry
36:39you're sorry
36:40well in lieu of a parachute
36:42here's a hanky
36:47no
36:48no
36:49no
36:49task force won't do it all
36:51not at all
36:53my family's immortality
36:55is going down the toilet
36:58and you say you are sorry
37:01yes
37:01all
37:15what to do what to do
37:18what to do
37:26what to do
37:29No, I agree with you, Uncle.
37:30Vinny's out of here before the task force arrives tomorrow.
37:33They all fan out from Lynchboro.
37:35There's no way you can blow that task force off.
37:40Mr. McPike, I have some bad news.
37:43VCR broke?
37:44I am taking over this investigation.
37:45This is a local matter. It should be handed locally.
37:48You can't bully the federal government, Mr. Volchek.
37:50Dammit, this is my town. I know it by heart.
37:53You see? A local matter.
37:56I can't wait for the task force.
37:57By then, the news will be all over town.
37:59The tranquility of this community will be gone.
38:01Maybe forever.
38:02Maybe that's good.
38:03Forever is a long time. I know that firsthand.
38:05Don't play God, Mr. Volchek.
38:07I have to! I have to!
38:09Without me, everything will crumble.
38:11Melt!
38:13McPike, you've got to give me a shot.
38:15Now, what could you possibly do in one evening?
38:18I'll tell you what.
38:19We were three and seven in my senior year.
38:21Volchek was all state.
38:22What more do you need?
38:24Shut up, Stem.
38:27What do you say, McPike?
38:29Go ahead, Frank.
38:32Let him do it.
38:34Okay, what?
38:39Man or woman?
38:40What?
38:40Is the killer a man or a woman?
38:4299.9% of the time, it's a man.
38:4515,000 people in the county, half men.
38:47We're down to 7,500.
38:49We can eliminate children as well.
38:51That's another 1,200 out.
38:53We can take out the old folks, too.
38:55At least over 60.
38:56Another 1,000.
38:56Puts us at 5,300.
38:5810,000 people in 30 seconds.
39:00We'll have this guy nailed within the hour.
39:02What about shut-ins, the infirm, lunatics, cancer, AIDS, toothaches,
39:06can't drive, afraid to drive, broken limb, broken car?
39:08I'm going to give myself another 300 on that.
39:11All right, that's pretty good.
39:12You're down to 5,000 and counting.
39:145,000.
39:165,000.
39:23My God, he travels.
39:26If he is in this town, he travels.
39:30We just hit gold.
39:31Stem, go through the business directory.
39:34Other than my companies, there can't be that many men
39:36who travel out of Lynchboro on a regular basis.
39:38The comings and goings of this town are my lifeblood,
39:40my life, my job.
39:42Stem, move it!
39:46National poster boy for REM sleep, and he's the captain of my team.
39:51How long has this guy been at it?
39:53Well, we have eight girls plus your deputies.
39:56Possibly could be more.
39:58I'm sure.
40:00The last thing I picture about this guy is slothfulness.
40:02All right, and if you're going by the book,
40:03you're looking at a 30-year-old.
40:05That's another 2,000 out.
40:07Where are we?
40:093,000.
40:103,000.
40:11A handful.
40:13Now, we need to get lucky.
40:21Damn it, Stem, you're looking at the lumber employees.
40:23Those are mine.
40:23I know those.
40:24It's the other folks that you were looking for.
40:27Snap two, will you?
40:28We need travelers.
40:33Intangibles.
40:35McPike, give me some odds and ends,
40:36and we'll shake something loose.
40:38Not quite.
40:40Ah, education.
40:41Can this guy read and write?
40:42Just the opposite.
40:43He's probably well-educated.
40:45Probably well-educated.
40:46What can we say?
40:49College?
40:50Now, be careful here.
40:51We're about to turn a corner.
40:52This is a big one.
40:53All right, for the sake of this exercise,
40:55let's say college.
40:55I'll give you that.
40:56College is about as popular around here
40:58as bad breath on a dentist.
40:59We just hit the 500 mark.
41:00500 and counting.
41:03What else?
41:04Alcohol abuse?
41:06400.
41:07Drug abuse?
41:09375.
41:10History of mental illness in the family.
41:14375.
41:16Elder's son.
41:20Come on, Stem.
41:21Get with it.
41:23Who travels?
41:24Help me.
41:24What?
41:25Firstborn son.
41:26They're usually Wednesday.
41:27Why the hell didn't you say that before?
41:29We are home.
41:30The town is as good as resealed
41:31and back in the fridge.
41:33I'll have this guy in my office
41:34and his jammies in an hour.
41:35Vince, get Red and Jeff in here.
41:36We've got some wake-up calls to make.
41:38How many eldest sons can there be
41:40who travel and don't work for me?
41:4210?
41:4312?
41:44Challen and Davis
41:45at the Water and Power Company.
41:47The surveyor, Lindbergh.
41:50I'll take it from here, Speed.
41:54Well, well, well, well, if it isn't the old welders of Grishlava.
41:59We don't need the press here, Rogo.
42:00We got a serial killer in town?
42:02It's been taken care of.
42:03By who?
42:06Oh, come on.
42:07You're kidding.
42:08Don't be so little, Rogo.
42:09Stifle your petty views and fears and help me out.
42:13Rogo, who do you know that travels back and forth
42:15to Portland on a regular basis?
42:20I'm looking at him.
42:25What is the matter with you, Stem?
42:29Travel.
42:29That's the key.
42:31We're going to have this guy bound and gagged
42:33and waiting on the edge of town for the task force.
42:35Who?
42:37I'm one.
42:38Stemmer.
42:40The bus driver, Almquist.
42:43They don't like Portland.
42:44How do they expect to like Copenhagen?
42:47It's all the way over there in Denmark.
42:52Portland.
42:54We ate at a place called The Haven.
42:57Special of the day was Cajun shark
43:00and French fries with Bernese sauce.
43:02Thank God.
43:03I hate Bernese sauce.
43:08Then I took him down the road to the Columbia River
43:11and we did a blonde.
43:14They just stood there.
43:16Didn't seem to enjoy it at all.
43:18I mean, they liked the first half, I guess.
43:23Kissing, romance.
43:25You know, the rough-hewn courtship completion part.
43:29But then they just stood there.
43:32Well, what kind of friends were they
43:33if they didn't like doing a blonde?
43:37You know, I even showed them the beauty part.
43:42Well, when you stunned them,
43:43and just before they go,
43:46they're uvula quivers like an opera singer.
43:51You can only do it once,
43:52but it's really fascinating.
43:55I let them watch,
43:56and they didn't even like it.
43:59Oh, Mark,
44:01your concern, I'm sure,
44:02is over mileage and gas money,
44:04what with all the traveling I did,
44:06but don't worry,
44:07it didn't cost the department anything.
44:09My car has a diesel engine,
44:11so I could just leave it running the whole time.
44:12And I used two sets of keys
44:14to leave one in the ignition
44:15and lock the doors.
44:17One time, I left it running all day.
44:19The gauge was still on full.
44:22So don't you worry about mileage.
44:24I kept receipts.
44:28Forty-one girls.
44:30Yeah.
44:32I had my own sorority.
44:34I felt a thigh.
44:38I got pictures, too.
44:41Despite their state,
44:42I think some of them look remarkably lifelike.
44:45This one's Lillian.
44:48And this is a picture of Lillian.
44:51Now, here's a picture of Lillian.
44:54That one's...
44:55That one's Lillian.
44:56You know,
44:57for a while there,
44:58I thought I could stop
44:59and go to Los Angeles.
45:02Maybe I could get on Jeopardy.
45:03I've always wanted to be on Jeopardy.
45:05I'm real good at it, too.
45:10By hairy hands.
45:12Their Nell was wrong.
45:15You know what, Mark?
45:17The last thing I'd ever do
45:18was hurt the hospital.
45:21God, I never...
45:22I never thought I'd feel this way.
45:25I just plain feel crappy.
45:29Well, it's all crap, isn't it?
45:32Hmm?
45:34Still!
45:36Everybody stand back.
45:37He's a live wire.
46:04Vince?
46:06Vince?
46:17No more, Frank.
46:19No more.
46:20I have no authority here.
46:22Vince?
46:23You have no authority here.
46:24Just holes in the ozone, Frank.
46:28Vince!
46:31Vince!
46:53Next, on Wise Guy.
46:54Then he's gone.
46:54He snapped.
46:55He took my car.
46:56Can you track him?
46:56He's out of the car.
46:57I just called.
46:58It was busy.
46:59Well, it's off now, Frank.
47:01I can't track him.
47:02He can't run out on me.
47:03I'm disappointed in somebody
47:04I thought I knew.
47:06We're on a conference
47:07with Terranova's lifeguard,
47:08A. McPike.
47:09The issue is Vinny.
47:10You want me to pull the plug?
47:11It's done, Frank.
47:12He's going to avoid us
47:13as long as he wants to.
47:14Forget it.
47:15You owe me
47:16and I'm calling
47:16to collect.
47:20Hello, Buckwheat.
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