- 5 hours ago
Gogglebox (2013) Season 27 Episode 14
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00:05What are you two kids doing?
00:06Are you getting on?
00:08Are you becoming best friends?
00:09Are you becoming friends now?
00:12Hopefully.
00:13Oh, look.
00:13No, this is so sweet.
00:16Okay.
00:17That didn't work.
00:18That'll be enough of that.
00:24Have you ever done a while like that?
00:26Well, I absolutely knew what they had.
00:27Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
00:29Oh, Barcelona.
00:32Ugh.
00:33No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:36A what?
00:37Foot fetish!
00:38I had no idea that was a thing.
00:40Remove my britches.
00:41Expose your loins.
00:43I like that.
00:44Oh, honey.
00:47This is weird.
00:48Gee, he's a mess for me, bugger, innit?
00:50This is why I don't date.
00:52That is Dyson with a devil.
00:53Oh, no.
00:54He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
00:56Clearly.
00:56A Bentley Continental!
00:58I think I'd rather call it a day, Natalie, wouldn't you?
01:01Who's been arrested now and for what?
01:05In the week Sir David Attenborough celebrated his 100th birthday, we enjoyed lots of great
01:12telly.
01:14Channel 4 had handy hacks from Mr Oliver.
01:17Just grab yourself some rosemary, thyme or sage, make a little herb brush.
01:22That's fun!
01:23Wow!
01:23A herb brush!
01:25A herb brush?
01:26Yeah.
01:26Okay.
01:27So next time the police stop you, you can tell them it's a herb, it's a herb, bro.
01:36They were trying out chat-up lines on E4.
01:39How old are you?
01:4031.
01:41Why do I always get the young ones?
01:42I like it.
01:43So what do you think is flirting?
01:45Because you're flirty, but you're also not a very tactile person.
01:49Yeah.
01:50So flirty doesn't involve being tactile.
01:56Truth of the matter is, I had a lot of sex appeal. I know I did because that was my
02:01problem
02:01really.
02:04And BBC2 had Michael Portillo back on track.
02:08I'm returning to Seoul city centre and next to the modern main railway station.
02:14Do you know what I always find crazy? Is that there's always pigeons in a train station.
02:19Yeah, but they love it.
02:20Why?
02:20That is like their wine bar.
02:30In home.
02:32I'll just have to ring Ray.
02:33Why?
02:33He's cutting his hair.
02:35He's cutting his own hair?
02:36Yeah, yeah.
02:36Get him on the phone.
02:38Hello.
02:38Hi, Jen.
02:39Hiya, love.
02:40Hiya.
02:41Have you done your hair yet?
02:42Yeah.
02:43Best friends Jenny and Lee.
02:45I've got some tubs at the bottom, but I can't get them out, you'll have to do it.
02:50Ray, I won't let her near him.
02:52Ray, I won't let her near it.
02:54You'll just have to stand with your back to the wall so nobody can see it.
02:58No, I'll put me collar up.
03:03On Tuesday night, our favourite chap in chinos was on the rails again on BBC Two.
03:10Portillo.
03:10Oh, Portillo.
03:11Do you know Michael Portillo?
03:13Yeah, he wears those nice trousers.
03:14Do you know that Auntie Margaret watches Michael Portillo repeats?
03:18I know.
03:18All the time.
03:19Yes.
03:20And when you go round, she pauses it.
03:22Yeah.
03:22Don't want you talking while Michael's on.
03:24No, she doesn't.
03:26South Korea by rail.
03:29The country doesn't know a lot about Korea.
03:30No, me.
03:31I'd be much more comfortable in South Korea than North Korea.
03:35Oh, yeah.
03:36These trains are capable of more than 200 MPH.
03:40It's like you at M62, that.
03:42Well, you wouldn't see notes, would you?
03:45200 MPH.
03:47The opportunity to explore one of the world's most successful countries.
03:52I've actually never been to Asia and I'd love to go.
03:56To Asia at all?
03:57I've never been to Asia.
03:58Oh, my God.
03:59I've been to Thailand ten times.
04:01Creepy.
04:04I actually saw him near the ice cream shack at the top of town.
04:07Did you?
04:08Yeah.
04:08Yeah.
04:09What was he doing?
04:10Having an ice cream.
04:11Nice.
04:12You know, back in the old days, Amani, when I used to be into K-pop,
04:16like, way more than I am now.
04:17Yeah, you had your K-pop club as well.
04:19Yeah, I had my K-pop club.
04:20I had my K-drama club as well.
04:22There were two different things, even though people thought it was the same thing.
04:25I would make them sign up to different things, you know,
04:28just so I can keep it going, the momentum.
04:30Wow.
04:30I got so many people into it, honestly.
04:32Like, it was a cult for me.
04:34Yeah, you took it too seriously.
04:35It was like a cult for me and I was their leader.
04:39In the program, Michael had made it all the way to Seoul and the headquarters of tech giant Samsung.
04:45The company's latest gadgets and innovations are tested in a full-size model smart home.
04:52Come on, I'm into this already.
04:54I know.
04:55What?
04:56We got smart labels, it was the worst thing I ever did.
04:58I got them taken down.
04:59I'm taking a tour with manager Tay Lee.
05:04Well, that's smart.
05:05Thumpering at the door.
05:07Saved you losing your keys all the time, wouldn't it?
05:10So, the home knows that I'm home and I like it nice and bright in my home when I arrive,
05:15so the curtains will open.
05:16Come on!
05:18This is your dream, isn't it?
05:21I hate opening curtains.
05:24I always pull them off.
05:26So, these devices that are connected, they connect with each other and they communicate.
05:30I could have a conversation with them on my furniture.
05:33You do now?
05:34Could I?
05:34Because you talk to my fucking wardrobes.
05:36My worry is that they might all suddenly want to attack you.
05:41So, pin you to the ground and suffocate you.
05:43This is a refrigerator but looking more like a television than a fridge.
05:48What?
05:49So, you can do everything you can with a tablet, for example.
05:52Like I'm going to stand at the front of the fridge typing up an email.
05:55That's the...
05:56Yeah, I'm just sent from my fridge.
05:59It just doesn't work, does it?
06:01What?
06:03Watch even movies here.
06:05Why would you want to...
06:05Shh, shh, shh!
06:06Who's going to go and stand at the fridge and watch a film?
06:08It's just, I guess, if you were watching a film on your sofa and you thought,
06:12I'll go to the fridge.
06:13Yeah.
06:14They would start showing the same film.
06:15The sister would come towards me and electrocute me.
06:18In the fridge, we have a camera built in.
06:22What?
06:23And it will manage what you have inside your fridge for you.
06:26The fridge is going to judge you.
06:27Are you bothered about what a fridge thinks?
06:29When somebody hacks it and you're there at three in the morning with your knob hanging out
06:32getting a block of cheese.
06:34They've got you.
06:35Back to your eyes.
06:36It will give me a recipe recommendation based on what I like.
06:39That is insane.
06:40Well, it's not going to make much with the one apple and a few grapes in there, is it?
06:43Yeah, it's going to say, you should go takeaway.
06:46Yeah.
06:47As well as suggesting what you might enjoy for lunch, the Smart House can help you to cook it.
06:53Ideal.
06:54Fucking ideal.
06:55I think this is a very good recipe to start with.
06:58Hang on a minute.
06:59It's cooking pot noodle.
07:00That's a great recipe.
07:00We're cooking pot noodles.
07:02I'm going to hand you my phone.
07:03Mm-hmm.
07:04All you need to do is scan the barcode right here.
07:07I do that with my Slimming World, that tells me how many swips.
07:11Tap on the phone where it says send to order purifier.
07:14This is bloody clever, isn't it?
07:16That time you've fanned on your phone doing all this, you could have just actually cooked your noodles.
07:24You place it here.
07:25Just push down on the lever.
07:27I thought it was going to have a sensor on that tap.
07:29You put it under and the water comes out.
07:31I haven't got time to do pressing buttons.
07:33So you don't have to worry about how much water you need to add for this recipe.
07:37It will automatically do it for you.
07:38Oh, I do like that.
07:40That is insane.
07:42You've got a jug in the kitchen for that.
07:45How about that cut about four million, that tap?
07:47Oh, shut up.
07:52Smells great.
07:53Say goodbye to overcooked noodles.
07:57Oh, look at them chopsticks.
07:59They're a bit fancy, aren't they?
08:01It's been great to cook with you, Tay, and with your wonderful new technology.
08:05My pleasure.
08:06Like, even I could make a pot noodle.
08:08Jesus Christ.
08:09What's going to happen in another two generations?
08:13What's going to happen?
08:14You're going to be marrying robots to see who can do the best grub.
08:18You won't have to bother, love.
08:19No, I won't.
08:20I'm glad I won't.
08:21I can't guarantee that if I was to then get the noodles out of the pant,
08:24I wouldn't be having to get my bachelor to scrape the noodle off the bottom of the pant.
08:29Your bachelor?
08:31What's it called, the thing with the...
08:33A spatula?
08:41A fucking bachelor?
08:44A fucking bachelor?
08:44A fucking bachelor?
08:45A fucking bachelor?
08:48In Wiltshire...
08:49I think my birthday's been and gone nutty, but I think I may have found my metier as a children's
08:55entertainer.
08:56Who bought you that balloon kit?
08:58There's something frightening about it.
09:00I think it's terrifying.
09:02Giles and his wife, Mary.
09:04Oh, my goodness, Mary.
09:06That's amazing.
09:07I've never had anything like this.
09:08It's given me more satisfaction than almost anything else on my birthday, apart from that lovely Pollock.
09:15On Wednesday night, the maths newlyweds were facing their final task of the experiment on E4.
09:22OK, let's have a look at the attention seekers.
09:25Maths Australia, what's been going on? Are you up to date?
09:28Oh, I'm absolutely loving it. Bowls deep in maths.
09:33During the matchmaking process, there was more than one person that our participants were compatible with.
09:38This is when they put in the, um...
09:40People they might have matched with.
09:41The tempts.
09:42Yeah, the temptresses.
09:42The participants' alternate matches joined the boys and girls for a special lunch.
09:48I love a little this-is-what-you-could-have-had moment on these kind of shows.
09:53Scott and David refused to participate.
09:56Oh, why they decided not to participate?
09:58Boring bastards.
09:59Happy.
10:00I mean, it's all right to have a little chat. It's not that deep. You're not cheating, are you?
10:04No.
10:04Just because you've already chosen what you're eating doesn't mean you can't still look at the menu.
10:08Mmm.
10:08As Alyssa got curious about her match...
10:11Do you have any tattoos?
10:12How can I show you where, though?
10:13Do you want to drop your pants?
10:16Ooh!
10:18It's never a good sign when one walks away from the temptation and the other one is going,
10:23why don't you drop your pants?
10:24Alarm bells!
10:28What would Nat actually do if you did flirt with someone else? I actually don't think he'd even do anything.
10:34Oh, exactly.
10:36It's like he and me have her.
10:37Yeah?
10:38She's a fucking nightmare!
10:40Wow.
10:41There's a letter and there's two flipping iPads.
10:44Okay, we're definitely watching something.
10:46You think they're going to watch how it all went?
10:49Yeah, of course they are!
10:51Of course they are!
10:51They're not going to watch Emmerdale, are they?
10:53Take an iPad and watch the video separately.
10:56Then come back together to debrief.
10:58Oh!
11:00Brutal!
11:00Oh, this could be a right old Ralph, Simon.
11:03I love it.
11:04There's nothing wrong with networking with people.
11:07Networking.
11:07Networking.
11:08Get your pants off.
11:09Get your pants off.
11:10That's one way of putting it, isn't it?
11:12She's really branded flirting as networking.
11:15Yeah.
11:15I like her style.
11:16As David heads to the bedroom, Alyssa begins watching back how the grooms went at the final test.
11:24Well, her video's going to be short, isn't it?
11:25Yeah.
11:26All you're going to hear is David crying in the bedroom.
11:30You know, it's lovely to meet you, but I don't feel like I can't engage.
11:33You know what I'm saying?
11:34Like, I'm strapped.
11:35Oh, fair play.
11:36Yeah, David said he's strapped up.
11:37Yeah, he had to tap out or he was going to get in trouble.
11:39Yeah.
11:40I'd expect nothing more from you, Steve.
11:43Absolutely.
11:44I wouldn't have even gone in there.
11:45I'm telling you.
11:45Well, I'm pleased you said that.
11:48Oh, my God.
11:50Oh, he's logging in now.
11:52Press blue.
11:52He is not going to be happy.
11:55Instagram's greener!
11:57What did she say?
11:59Instagram's greener!
12:01Already, oh, my God.
12:03She's like, oh, my God, let's experiment.
12:06Oh, my God.
12:08Oh!
12:08Oh, he didn't like that.
12:10David didn't like that comment.
12:12How are we all?
12:13Hi.
12:14I thought we were married at first sight.
12:15This is Victoria's Secret.
12:16Oh, he's a charmer.
12:18He's got his line.
12:19That was so cringe.
12:19That really was.
12:21That was so cringe.
12:22I bet you, she was like, oh, my God.
12:24How old are you?
12:2531.
12:26Why do I always get the young ones?
12:27I like it.
12:29Alyssa's flirting.
12:30No, she's networking.
12:32Watch your star sign.
12:34Ooh, you'll have steam coming out of your shoes.
12:36No, shortly, Dave.
12:37You can see it coming off.
12:38Do you have any tattoos?
12:39Yeah, I can't show you where that.
12:40Whereabouts?
12:41Is it on your arse?
12:42Drop your pants?
12:43Yeah.
12:43Oh, wow.
12:45Drop your pants.
12:46Is it on your arse?
12:47You've not even had a drink yet.
12:48Let me do some squats first, so it looks like...
12:51Is it on your arse?
12:52David's not laughing or smiling.
12:54What's the matter with him?
12:55It's just fun.
12:56It's just a joke.
12:59Are you done?
13:00Oh, aye.
13:01I'm done.
13:02Aye, well done, lady.
13:04Stick a fork in me.
13:05I'm done.
13:06I think that was hilarious.
13:07But I was also like, why did you just leave?
13:10Like, why did you walk away?
13:11Why did you walk away?
13:12Because now I've got nothing to pull you up off.
13:14I can't even rip you, Lim, from Lim, because you've done the right thing.
13:17You've done the honourable thing.
13:18Did you know that it was to find out whether the grass was greener?
13:23Yeah, cool, she did.
13:24She cheesed to us.
13:24She knows exactly what she was doing.
13:26Those guys walked in and said what they were here for, so I know it wasn't a networking
13:30event.
13:31I'm not saying it's networking.
13:32I'm saying it's treat it like when you go to events and talk to people.
13:35When you asked him what his star sign was.
13:36Oh, not the star sign.
13:38Take my eyes, but don't find out his star sign.
13:41That's where you draw the line.
13:42Yeah, she found out his star sign, for God's sake.
13:45You know, you made the joke about drop your jocks.
13:48Drop your jocks.
13:50It's a joke.
13:51You know, I get that, but like, you know, to hear that and then you...
13:54Lighten up.
13:55Lighten up, David.
13:56Lighten up, David.
13:57I see.
13:58Telling someone to lighten up in that mood.
14:00That's not going to work, honey.
14:01Fuel to the fire.
14:02Oh, my God.
14:03I'm just lighting up.
14:04Lighten up.
14:05I don't want to even continue this conversation.
14:07I'm just going to walk out, because that's how I feel.
14:10Oh, the flowers.
14:11Oh, he's walking out.
14:12Oh, shit, man.
14:13You're done.
14:16Don't worry.
14:16I'm done, too.
14:18Oh, dear.
14:19Is it over?
14:20When she says done, does she mean that's it?
14:22Over?
14:23That's it.
14:23End of.
14:24End of experiment.
14:25End of relationship.
14:26End of marriage.
14:27Kaput.
14:28No.
14:29I deserve more than that.
14:31Oh, his ring!
14:33Oh!
14:34Not on the bellhop thing.
14:37I won't give it back.
14:38I'd keep it and put it in pawn shop.
14:41I'm done, too.
14:42Here you go.
14:44Fuck off!
14:46They're both done!
14:48Oh!
14:49How childish.
14:50What I hope she does is tries and goes back into the apartment
14:53and slam the door when it's one of those soft closes,
14:56you know, like at a hotel so it doesn't slam.
14:58Fuck you!
14:59Oh.
15:08In Durham.
15:09We didn't realise this when we were going to Scotland,
15:11but we put it on the sat-nav.
15:13And originally it said five hours and I thought,
15:15oh, that's a long time.
15:16And then we'd put it on the morning we were leaving
15:18and it said five hours forty.
15:20Five hours forty!
15:22Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
15:25And did you have to show your passports as well?
15:28No.
15:29Passports?
15:30Well, cos you're going into another country.
15:33We crossed the border, we didn't show a passport,
15:35there wasn't border control.
15:38You crossed the border.
15:40Yeah.
15:40Cos really, you go to Spain, you go to another country.
15:43You go to Scotland, you go to another country.
15:45You go to Wales, you go to another country.
15:47But I don't know.
15:50No-one asked me for my passport.
15:53I tell you what though, while we were there,
15:56I did ask Josh what the time was back home.
15:59As he said.
16:00On Saturday night, BGT was still on the hunt for top-notch talent.
16:05Hey, we've got a semi on, so...
16:07I know.
16:07Had a nice couple of drinks there.
16:10BGT.
16:11I've got you some grapes.
16:12And I've got you some strawberries.
16:15Where's the real snacks?
16:16I've got you some rocky roads.
16:18Oh, that's not like it.
16:22Are they ever going to change the start of this?
16:24Never.
16:25It just makes me think we're in a recession.
16:27Yeah.
16:28We are.
16:29When the truth is found...
16:30I'm Alfredo.
16:31I'm Coral.
16:32We are husband and wife, and...
16:34We perform together.
16:36Oh, you know who this is?
16:38The crossbow.
16:40Yes, I get...
16:41Oof.
16:42I know it's dangerous.
16:43I wouldn't trust you with the crossbow.
16:47I wouldn't aim a crossbow at you, sure.
16:50We met on my birthday party.
16:51We started to talk.
16:52I told her,
16:53You allow me to throw knives at you?
16:54And she said,
16:55For sure.
16:56And here we are.
16:57If you meet your guy and he starts wanting to throw knives at you,
16:59I'd call that a red flag.
17:01That's a woman that has no trust issues.
17:02I'll tell you that now.
17:04And that's a man who's had about six marriages.
17:09What a strange couple they make.
17:11Why did he make this feel all sexy?
17:13It's not a guy trying to kill his wife and keeps missing.
17:15Yeah.
17:20I'll tell you what he's got in them trousers.
17:23Betty's wallet.
17:24Exactly.
17:28Do you know what?
17:29This is already dangerous.
17:31Dangerously sexy.
17:32Yeah, it's sexy and dangerous.
17:34Oh, isn't it?
17:36Oh, it's a bit close, isn't it?
17:41I wouldn't have you doing that to me.
17:43Oh, my God.
17:48What's he got there?
17:49Oh, these look precarious, Jill.
17:50Right, what's he got now?
17:51I can open her.
17:55All right, so now he has no eyeballs.
18:00Oh, Jesus Christ.
18:01How does he know where she is?
18:03Right, she's got to make noises now.
18:05So if she knows...
18:05Yeah, she's got to whistle or something.
18:07Left!
18:09Stop!
18:10Oh, hello.
18:11Huh?
18:12Oh, she is a dominatrix, isn't she?
18:14A bossy old bitch.
18:15Yeah.
18:16A bit like you, darling.
18:18Sounds like a really aggressive lollipop lady.
18:21Stop!
18:23Okay!
18:25Ooh.
18:26Oh, Jesus Christ.
18:27Flipping heck.
18:28Well, it's miles away.
18:29That's fucking miles away.
18:30I mean, that's easy.
18:32I bet they've practised this at home, you know.
18:34Left!
18:36Left!
18:37Stop!
18:38If you were in the crowd, you'd shout, okay, wouldn't you?
18:41Yeah.
18:42In her voice.
18:43Yeah.
18:44Okay!
18:48Oh, that was close.
18:50It really wasn't, was it?
18:51Did she flinch there or is that, like, a part of the act?
18:54It's all part of the act, it has to be.
18:56Well, that's pretty good.
18:57Yeah.
18:57She looked like a gymnast that finished her job.
19:06Yeah.
19:23She really is.
19:24Oh, no, stop that!
19:26I don't like that.
19:27No way!
19:28Oh, she's turning!
19:32Oh, and she's swivelling as well.
19:34Oh, no.
19:35No, that's too dangerous.
19:36That's too dangerous.
20:07Oh, he's done it!
20:07Oh!
20:07Oh!
20:10Yeah.
20:12Yeah.
20:16Yeah.
20:17Even if I say hit page with a knife, I'd never hear the last of it.
20:22And you've got the legs for the layered side.
20:24Well, that as well.
20:25And there's not really much to it, is there?
20:27We like throwing it a credit card side on.
20:33In Manchester.
20:35Sean, look at this, what I made.
20:37It's an internet sensation.
20:40It's crisps with chocolate.
20:43Ooh, I'm in for a treat here.
20:44Yeah.
20:46Hear that crunch.
20:47The malones.
20:49What are you pulling the face at?
20:51It's like watching this.
20:51It makes you go and hear this.
20:54It's not for me, that.
20:56What?
20:57We found something that's not for Sean.
20:59Some food that's not for Sean.
21:01Let's let it work on him.
21:02I reckon he'll turn.
21:03He'll go and get the proper taste.
21:05He's going to go, you know what?
21:05I'll have another bite of that in a minute.
21:10It does grow on you.
21:11It's growing on you!
21:14On Tuesday night, Jamie was back grilling some grub on Channel 4.
21:22What are you doing?
21:23Pulling me fat pants up.
21:25Fucking how far do they go?
21:27They're up here.
21:27They're under me brow.
21:28Looks like I've got a swimming cozy on.
21:30I went to the same college as Jamie Oliver, Simon.
21:33No way.
21:35They spotted Jamie, but they didn't spot me, Simon.
21:37Oh, Jane.
21:38I know.
21:39If you'd been called Jamie.
21:40They might have.
21:41Yeah.
21:41You've had your own show by now.
21:43Yeah, could be, couldn't I?
21:44The Naked Chef.
21:45I wouldn't have watched that, to be honest.
21:47Not my sister.
21:48The first glimpse of sunshine and we just want to get outside and barbecue.
21:53It's true.
21:54I was walking around the supermarket the other week when the sun was shining.
21:57Yeah.
21:57And everyone was on the phone saying, we're having a barbecue later.
22:00Do you want to come?
22:00Get two more burgers.
22:02Tom and Tim are coming.
22:03Thanks.
22:04So I've created delicious recipes to help you be more adventurous when you fire up that barbecue.
22:09Oh.
22:10Hello.
22:11That looked nice.
22:12From epic rubs and flavour packed marinades, gnarly, encrusted.
22:16I really want Jamie in my life.
22:18To roast dinners, chicken curries.
22:21Chicken curry on a barbecue?
22:22Ooh.
22:22And even breakfast.
22:24Breakfast?
22:25Yeah, I'm going to roll out of that and go and spark the barbecue up.
22:31This is one for dads, isn't it?
22:33I feel exotic when I eat food from a barbecue.
22:36Alan does a good barbecue, doesn't he?
22:38Yeah, because he likes his steaks.
22:40Oh, my God.
22:40It's a meat feast, isn't it?
22:42Alan's Barbies.
22:43Nothing beats cooking outside.
22:46You hate both those things, being outside and cooking.
22:49Yeah, my worst nightmare, honestly.
22:51Fresh air, good vibes and that smoky barbecue working its magic.
22:56You do feel all kinds of manly when you do a barbecue as well, don't you?
22:59I do like opening the back door and going, someone's having a barbecue.
23:02Barbie.
23:03Yeah.
23:04It's funny that, isn't it?
23:05That's the most British thing ever.
23:08Someone's having a Barbie.
23:09I'm going to put it to one side.
23:13You see, mine looks nothing like that.
23:14It's got all fat and residue and bits of burgers stuck on the grills.
23:18I know.
23:19From last summer?
23:20Yeah.
23:21That means you've got very hot, medium and low.
23:25Oh, I've never thought of that.
23:26You didn't know that, Mr. Warden.
23:28Did you?
23:29Oh, that's clever.
23:30I don't bother with that.
23:31I don't think this is necessary.
23:32Ruddaw.
23:33So I'm going to cook these steaks three different ways.
23:35Rare, medium rare and medium.
23:37What about well done?
23:39Do you know, Nat used to get well done steaks before he met me
23:41and then because I ripped him to shreds, he didn't dare order it again
23:45so then he started getting medium.
23:46So 47 degrees internal temperature, that's our rare steak.
23:50Oh, look, take notes, Dad, 47 degrees.
23:5347.
23:54Oh, there we go.
23:55This one here is going to be our medium rare, which you want about 52.
24:01Can you imagine doing all that, Lara?
24:02No.
24:03This is such a performance, isn't it?
24:05I know.
24:05So while that's resting, I'm going to get the veggies on the barbecue.
24:08No, what is he doing? Cooking vegetables on a barbecue?
24:12It's me too.
24:13What a muppet.
24:13I'm going to go over to the hot side with some beautiful asparagus.
24:17Do you like them?
24:18Mm-hmm.
24:19What do they taste like?
24:21Asparagus.
24:23Grilled reddish is going to be delicious.
24:26Unusual, but very, very cool.
24:28You getting excited about that?
24:29No.
24:30Oh, I've never had cooked redishes here.
24:32Oh, no.
24:32You can take things like mongetu or sugar snap peas.
24:35Anything that's small that would fall through the bars, we can put on here.
24:39On your metal save.
24:40Oh, my God.
24:41I think Jamie's a genius.
24:44Oh, monge too.
24:45Monge too.
24:45I love a monge too.
24:47This green stuff has no place at a barbecue.
24:49Just slice this up.
24:51Look at this.
24:53Is he cutting it into tiny little bits?
24:55Yes.
24:56I like to do that myself.
24:57I don't like people doing too much activism on my meat, Nativ.
25:02I like dealing with things myself.
25:03It makes me feel like a savage.
25:05I don't want someone to cut it up for me.
25:09All those gorgeous juices.
25:11Got my juices flowing that, Asli, I'll tell you now.
25:14Fuck off.
25:15Whoa.
25:16Honest to God, I was enjoying this steak.
25:19And look at that beef.
25:21Cooked to perfection.
25:24Mmm.
25:24How I wish I was Jules Holland.
25:28Jules Holland?
25:29His wife.
25:30Oh.
25:31Mmm.
25:32Not Jules Holland.
25:34No, that's...
25:35That's the musician, isn't it?
25:39Jules Oliver, I meant.
25:41Oh.
25:42Yeah.
25:42No, I don't want to be Jules Holland.
25:44Jules Holland.
25:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
25:55In Leeds...
25:56I've text Georgia, personal trainer, this morning.
25:59Have you?
26:00I've told her I'm not being a ghost anymore
26:02and that I think she'll have some time coming up for me soon
26:04over the summer.
26:05And that's it.
26:06I'm going in...
26:08protein queen.
26:09sisters Ellie and Izzy.
26:11Really? Why? What's got into you?
26:14Because I'm sick a bit... I said I'm jiggly beyond a joke.
26:17Those were my words to Georgia.
26:19Jiggly beyond a joke? Jiggly beyond a joke.
26:22I thought, no, Izzy, you've got to do something about it.
26:25I'm looking at surgery options on Google.
26:27£12,000, can't afford it, going to have to start exercising.
26:32On Friday, it was down to BBC News to take us into the long weekend.
26:37Everybody calm. Everyone stay calm. We've got the news.
26:39Yeah? We're going to learn something.
26:41Settle into a bank holiday. Yeah.
26:43Izzy, what are these?
26:462018 has called. It wants its curtains back.
26:48I know, I've just taken them out of my bedroom.
26:52They're shocking, aren't they?
26:53What, in the crushed velvet?
26:55What, in the 2018 Miracrome furniture is going on here?
27:00Now, many of us may be trying our hands at a bit of DIY
27:04this bank holiday weekend.
27:06See, I'm not exclusive to bank holiday weekend for my DIY.
27:09It's seven days a week, 365.
27:12Is it mine?
27:13Well, 365, I don't do Christmas Day, obviously, as you know.
27:18And ahead of it, the Flatpak World Championships.
27:21So you've got to go for the Flatpak Regionals.
27:24Yeah.
27:26It's an annual event, and it sees competitors race
27:28to assemble furniture in record time.
27:31There's nothing in record time, is there doing Flatpak furniture?
27:34No, they ain't.
27:34Fix you old bastard there.
27:36But if you're delighted by dowels, bonkers about brackets,
27:39or you actually know which way round the instructions need to be,
27:41this contest is for you.
27:43The last thing I built was a...
27:46five by five Clalax.
27:48Oh.
27:49That's the biggest of the Clalax ranges.
27:51Oh, God.
27:52The ultimate relationship test, now a world championship.
27:55What a brilliant idea for something constructive.
27:59This is when a husband and wife have built a few bits in the house
28:01and go, I think we've got something here.
28:02We could do this professionally.
28:04You build a bookcase and then a bedside table,
28:08but against the clock and with an audience.
28:11I can't imagine the audience is massive.
28:14You've got more people on stage than you do in the audience.
28:16Do you reckon they sell out tickets?
28:17Yeah, I have to.
28:18What are you up to this weekend?
28:19Can I have a box?
28:22Warehouse worker Hayley will be competing as the reigning champ, for now.
28:26Is that what you've got to win?
28:29Do you get a golden Allen key?
28:30Do you get the golden?
28:31That's the trophy.
28:32She knocked up a table in nine minutes, 33 seconds last time around.
28:36Oh, my God, Hayley.
28:37That would have been nine hours for me.
28:39Yeah, nine days for me.
28:40And even has her own flat pack support business.
28:43I bet she's really popular.
28:45Three, two, one, go!
28:48Come on, girl.
28:50Intense hammering and twisting.
28:52Everyone hoping someone else would screw up.
28:55Oh, look at that, multitasking, reading the instructions,
28:58screwing and getting the next piece out.
29:00I do believe we might have someone into the final straight.
29:06She's done the draws already?
29:10Yes.
29:11She's done it again.
29:12To the winner, the spoils.
29:14Or, more appropriately, the golden hex key.
29:16Hex key?
29:17It's not called a hex key.
29:19It is called an Allen key.
29:21And, let's be honest, a lot of phone calls from friends and family desperate for assembly assistance.
29:26Pay them all off.
29:28Unless you're paying, I'm not interested.
29:30I actually would think I'd do all right there.
29:32I reckon so, is it?
29:33Most of my house is made of flat pack.
29:35Huh?
29:36Couch, flat pack.
29:38What else?
29:39Flat pack.
29:41Okay.
29:42Yeah.
29:43Keep going.
29:44Flat pack.
29:47In Surrey.
29:48Mum, we went to go and see Judy Love the other day.
29:51We did.
29:51And it was really good.
29:53But?
29:54You are terrible at directions.
29:56Sarah, her husband, Andre, and their daughter, Shay.
30:01Because, whenever you're with me or with Dad, Mum just goes off into another world in another
30:06cuckoo land.
30:07Mum doesn't know what's going on.
30:09Mum's not bothering.
30:10You have to make sure Mum doesn't get hit by cars.
30:12You have to tell Mum, no move over there, Mum.
30:15No, Mum.
30:16The queue's over there.
30:16The bathroom's...
30:17Mum just goes about life.
30:19Soft life!
30:20That is your Mum!
30:23This week, the spooks from Widow's Bay were giving us the willies again on Apple TV.
30:29I can't believe we're watching this again.
30:31My anxiety's been up here as it is.
30:33It's going to be after this.
30:35If anyone deserves to get haunted, it's you.
30:37Because you're such a sceptic with it.
30:39Dad, please don't haunt me.
30:40Or if you're going to haunt me, make sure I'm dressed.
30:45Oh, Widow's Bay.
30:46Do you know what spooks me at the minute?
30:49If you're walking in my bedroom on the night, I just see his tiny shadow.
30:54It's...
30:54Honestly, Abby, it's horrible.
30:56You can hear his footsteps like this.
31:01It's horrible.
31:03In the programme, Mayor Tom was trying to convince the locals that there was no such thing as ghosts.
31:10We have a new chapter now, and there is nothing wrong with that inn.
31:15A lot of bad things have gone down there.
31:17Yes, that's true, but it doesn't make it haunted.
31:21I would never put anyone in danger.
31:23Why don't you stay there?
31:24Yeah, if you really don't think it's haunted and there's nothing wrong with it,
31:27why don't you go and keep there for the night?
31:29And if you give me a ring, I'll come and stay there and bring all my ghost hunting equipment.
31:33OK, I'll do it.
31:34Good on you, Tom.
31:35If that's what it takes, I will stay there tonight.
31:39Oh!
31:40See, if he does stay, he'll shut him all up.
31:42He should spend time in that crawl space.
31:45Oh, spend time in the crawl space.
31:48Isn't the crawl space the bit that's under the house?
31:50OK, I'll do it.
31:51But when I do, all this talk stops, right?
31:56Well, fair comment.
31:58Would you do it?
31:59No.
32:00Not even for money?
32:01Maybe.
32:02How much we're talking?
32:04Later, we saw Tom arrive at the creepy inn.
32:12Oh, has he heard something?
32:14Oh.
32:19What is it doing?
32:20Listen.
32:20Is that music?
32:22Can you hear stuff?
32:25Oh, it's people screaming.
32:27I think when you hear screaming in an air vent at a hotel,
32:29it's pretty normal just to mind your own business.
32:33Oh!
32:37Is that a footstep?
32:38Yeah.
32:39Sounds like someone's going up the stairs.
32:43Someone outside.
32:45Outside the door.
32:46Oh, honey.
32:49Oh!
32:50What are you doing?
32:51That was you.
32:53He's already opening the door, you know.
32:59Oh!
33:01Oh, my God.
33:02I definitely saw it.
33:05Hello?
33:06Oh, there's somebody there.
33:07That's not scary.
33:08No, there's somebody staying there.
33:10He didn't tell him that.
33:11The innkeeper didn't tell me anyone else would be here.
33:15Does he usually announce guests to each other?
33:17Just another guest?
33:18I mean, that's normal if you're going to a hotel, isn't it?
33:21I'm William.
33:22Is William really there?
33:24This is what I'm thinking.
33:26Is William a ghost?
33:28You know what I mean?
33:31Something's not right here, self.
33:33No, because why would he still be wearing his tie?
33:36Yeah, you'd have had that off and top button under, wouldn't you?
33:39Exactly.
33:40Before heading to bed, Mayor Tom wanted to check where the noises were coming from.
33:48There's the crawlspace, Mary.
33:50Oh, shit, no.
33:51Oh, that is very small, isn't it?
33:57It's actually going in there.
33:59Shit.
33:59Oh, he's going in.
34:00Yuck!
34:01You silly bastard!
34:03What the hell, Abs?
34:05I need to block my ear.
34:09Bloody hell, it's like a whole other room in there.
34:15I'm really not enjoying this.
34:17All my life.
34:20What are you doing?
34:23Jenny, what is the matter with you?
34:25Well, I'm scared.
34:26And they haven't even seen, don't you?
34:30Oh, he's videoing.
34:31I am in the crawlspace.
34:37Oh, what was that?
34:38Was that someone behind them?
34:40Hello?
34:41Hello?
34:42Oh, Tom, get out.
34:43See, there's nobody there.
34:46Well, William?
34:48Who is it?
34:48Go back, go back, go back, go back.
34:53Oh!
34:56Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
34:58Howdy, neighbour.
34:59Oh.
34:59Oh, is William?
35:01Need some help in there?
35:02What?
35:03No, no.
35:04Oh, no, this is creepy now.
35:06Why can't we see his face?
35:08No, don't, don't, don't come in.
35:10Don't, I'm coming out.
35:11Don't come in.
35:12Ah!
35:13Ah!
35:13He's getting in the hole.
35:15Don't go.
35:17Ah!
35:18The fucking clown.
35:19Oh, oh, oh, my God.
35:21Oh, what is it?
35:22Oh, my God, it's a clown.
35:27Oh, oh, fuck, it's a buddy.
35:30Ah!
35:31Oh, oh!
35:33Ah!
35:35Oh, he's bloody dreaming.
35:37It was just a dream.
35:39Fuck off.
35:40Oh, no, I'll be having bastard dreams all night now.
35:43Like what?
35:44You mean like Tom?
35:45Yeah, following me up my passage.
35:48Oh.
35:49Oh, we don't want that.
35:50Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
35:56Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
35:58In Blackpool.
35:59Did I tell you Paige played an absolute blinder the other night?
36:03Why?
36:04So Eva was a bit poorly getting up, getting up every two minutes, waking up.
36:08Paige's turn to get up.
36:09Do you want to come and stop in mummy and daddy's bed then?
36:12Yeah.
36:13Oh.
36:13Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
36:16Anyway, Eva starts snoring in the middle of us,
36:19and me and Paige are like that, and Paige are like,
36:21I can't sleep like this, I'm going in the other room.
36:24I went, you cheeky son!
36:26You're the one who's offered her to come in here,
36:28and now I'm having to put up with this.
36:30Oh, God.
36:32I nearly went and stopped in Eva's car,
36:34even at our bed and Paige's in the spare room.
36:37This week, it was an action-packed thriller set Down Under
36:40that had us on the edge of our seats on Netflix.
36:43Are you ready to be thrilled, Jane?
36:45Yeah, I could do with a bit of a thriller.
36:47Right, it'll perk you up a bit.
36:48Yeah, it will perk me up.
36:49Oh, that'll be lovely, I'll look forward to that.
36:51I like Charlize Theron, but I only like her in select stuff
36:54like the Italian job The Remake, when she was a safecracker.
36:58Oh! Now you know who she is.
36:59I know who she is now, the one with the stethoscope.
37:02That's right.
37:07Apex, that's how you shape somebody's nail when you're doing them,
37:10you want it to have an apex.
37:12Yeah, but it's an apex predator.
37:14It's the top of the food chain.
37:16Oh, is it?
37:16Yeah.
37:18My mind just goes to nails.
37:20In the film, we found Charlize Theron
37:22looking for a route through the Australian outback.
37:26You're going there alone?
37:28I wouldn't recommend it.
37:29Why?
37:30Why?
37:30I think at this point in the film,
37:32if she turned round and said,
37:33oh, I'll give it a miss, it would be quite a shit ending.
37:36Yeah.
37:36People get lost in these woods all the time.
37:39And here, they stay lost.
37:40Oh, look at all them people missing on the board.
37:42Oh, God.
37:43I mean, if that's not shouting red flag, what is?
37:48Hi.
37:48Hello.
37:49Hi.
37:50Hey, oh, Tyron Edgerton's here.
37:52Oh, that's the guy that plays Elton John, isn't he?
37:55Yeah, and Eddie the Eagle, isn't he?
37:57That's right, eh?
37:58I'm trying to get to Grand Isle Narrows.
38:00Are you?
38:00My GPS is out, yeah.
38:02Are you here for the canyon?
38:02Yeah.
38:03Don't tell, you don't tell people where you're going, love, Sasha.
38:06Yeah.
38:07Start of Blackstone Bay.
38:08Just before you get to the split break,
38:10you're going to find the most amazing camping area.
38:12OK.
38:13It's a bit of a well-kept secret.
38:14That's where all the people go missing.
38:16Ooh, that's a bit dodgy.
38:17Oh, camping area.
38:18Well-kept secret nobody knows about.
38:20I hope you know what you're doing,
38:21cos it can get pretty intense.
38:22Yeah, intense.
38:23Pretty gnarly.
38:24It's OK.
38:24Most people do it in pairs.
38:25Ooh, if Tyron were suggesting for us to go in pairs,
38:28I'd be on it like a car bonnet.
38:30It's like people are telling her and warning her against it.
38:33She's not taking any notice.
38:35Whatsoever.
38:36No.
38:40Ooh, that looks pretty.
38:42It looks pretty creepy to me.
38:43Imagine just rocking up to that by yourself, though, innit?
38:46Yeah.
38:47In Australia.
38:48Yeah, of all places.
38:49I know.
38:50You might be able to do that in Somerset.
38:51Yeah.
38:55Oh.
38:56Who's this?
38:57It's another car.
39:02Oh, no.
39:04You know that's trouble already, innit?
39:07Do you want to be alive?
39:08You want.
39:09I'd get in a camper van if I was you, love.
39:11Yeah.
39:11I'd get my head down.
39:12I'd put the locks down on the doors, too.
39:14I know.
39:15We'll do.
39:15Yeah.
39:16Straight away.
39:20Oh, they're going.
39:21They're leaving.
39:22You would never catch me wild camping on me own.
39:25Absolutely not.
39:26I won't go camping on an actual campsite with facilities.
39:30Never mind wild camping.
39:32In company.
39:33With the trip not quite going to plan,
39:35Shelley's stumbled across another camper.
39:38Hello?
39:42Somebody's been here.
39:44Look, the fire's lit.
39:45Fire's still burning.
39:48Hey.
39:49Oh, who's that?
39:50Oh, it's Taran Edgerton.
39:51I'm Ben.
39:52Sasha, Ben.
39:53Nice to meet you.
39:54Hi, Sasha.
39:55What a coincidence seeing you here.
39:56It's sad for you to go this way.
39:58I told you to come to my camp.
40:00I'd be quite pleased if I bumped into Ben.
40:03I don't know if I would.
40:04Something got into my gear last night and took everything.
40:06My phone, my food.
40:08Oh, bloody hell.
40:09Oh, bloody hell.
40:10He didn't sound surprised, did he?
40:12Yeah.
40:12Good news is I always pack twice what I need.
40:16I'm more than happy to set you up.
40:17Is he bad or good?
40:19We can't tell yet, Mary.
40:20I know who showed up at my campsite the other night.
40:23It was Hunter.
40:24It's from the gas station.
40:26You're definitely messing with me.
40:27I'd be more wary of him.
40:29I am.
40:30I'm more wary of him.
40:32You handled them perfectly, though.
40:33What?
40:34You handled them perfectly.
40:36Like, how does he know?
40:38What?
40:39You had greed and poise.
40:41Was he there?
40:42Sorry, what are you seeing?
40:44At the campsite.
40:45No, I was there.
40:46I thought maybe you could use a hand.
40:48Huh?
40:48This is a bit weird now.
40:50Yeah.
40:50Oh, Daniela is following her.
40:52Not the case, though, clearly.
40:55Oh, no.
40:56That laugh, Jill.
40:58This is when it's time for me to leave, though.
41:01Like, yeah.
41:03You're not going to finish your brickie?
41:05I'm suddenly full, actually.
41:07Play it down.
41:08Yeah.
41:08Turn round.
41:09Run like hell.
41:10Play it down.
41:10Get a rock.
41:11Smack him in the head.
41:16What's that?
41:17Whoa, he's got a crossbow.
41:19Ben is a psychopath.
41:21Run.
41:26Why is he playing the music?
41:28Is this some kind of sick fantasy he's got?
41:29So, look, it's very simple.
41:31You've got until the very end of this song to get as far away from you as you can.
41:34Oh, he wants to hunt her.
41:35He's going to kill her.
41:36I'm going to hunt her.
41:37See we get to the end, but that's where we begin.
41:39You feel it.
41:39Many kids, and we break it out.
41:41Okay, he's seriously fucked up.
41:45Good taste of music, though.
41:46Can you start it from the beginning, at least?
41:50We've already had, like, the intro, Ben.
41:55Run, Sasha, run!
41:57Go on.
41:57You want to run like hell, then?
41:59Huh?
41:59You're literally running for your life.
42:04Go!
42:05Go, go, go!
42:05The music stopped!
42:11He's off.
42:12He's fucked!
42:15Look at him.
42:16Look, he's right there already.
42:17He knows that forest light back of his hand, so...
42:22Oh!
42:23Oh, shit.
42:27Oh, my gosh.
42:28She's lost the kayak.
42:29She's fucked it herself.
42:30She has.
42:34Oh, where's Ben too?
42:35I don't know.
42:36I wouldn't like to see, love.
42:38You'd be going, do you know what?
42:39Just shoot me.
42:40Yeah.
42:41This is why I don't like to be out my comfort zone.
42:43No.
42:43No.
42:45Absolutely not.
42:46Absolutely not.
42:46I like my own home.
42:47I like a cup of tea.
42:49I like a panini.
42:52Not the panini.
42:55In home...
42:57You know what?
42:57I wonder what they call French toast in France.
43:00French toast?
43:01Don't they?
43:02Or do they just say toast?
43:04Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
43:06Try to eat me sandwich.
43:09Well, I'm just asking you, would France, would people in France call French toast toast?
43:14No, call it French toast.
43:16Why would they?
43:17Because they're in France.
43:18Well, we call ours mustard, English mustard, don't we?
43:22So, would they just call it toast?
43:24And we just call it mustard.
43:26And not French toast?
43:28I've gone off it.
43:32Give it to a French person.
43:34On Friday night, a new national scandal was making the headlines on the BBC.
43:40I've had a great day-to-day work.
43:42They've moved where I sit, so I've been in front of the window where the sun's coming in.
43:47What a treat.
43:48Oh, it is.
43:49No, he's starting to bug me again.
43:51Please get him away.
43:52I'm starting to freak out.
43:53Stop pestering Giles.
43:55Leave him alone and stop staring at him.
43:59It's like a death stare.
44:01Now, this is a bit of a fishy tale because the BBC has learned that some chip shops are
44:05passing off catfish as traditional fish and chips.
44:08No way.
44:10They're cheeky bastards.
44:11Catfish, what's that?
44:13I thought that was when you paused a photo and you look nothing like you do in real life.
44:16It's significantly cheaper than the usual cod or haddock, but can be hard to detect.
44:22We're being catfished by catfish.
44:24Huh?
44:24I know.
44:25Oh, my God.
44:26They're telling me it's all a lie.
44:27Look at these immigrant fish coming in and taking our other fish's jobs.
44:31They should be ashamed of themselves.
44:32Well, now, DNA tests have been carried out on the fish from 10 chip shops in the northwest
44:38of England.
44:39North-west?
44:40Oh, my God.
44:41We're targeted.
44:43We're renowned for all fish and chips round here.
44:45We can't be having this.
44:46This is almost like when you get caught naked somewhere.
44:51I'm embarrassed.
44:51It's one of the nation's favourite takeaways, but how much do we know about what we're eating?
44:57It's expensive and all now.
44:58Are you seeing how much it is?
45:00Nine quid for a fish.
45:02Ah, but what you're eating?
45:03Is it catfish?
45:04Yeah, I'd want the full tank for nine quid.
45:07When you go in your local chippy, you ask for fish and chips.
45:10What do you expect to get back?
45:11Fish.
45:12Probably cod or haddock.
45:17The fish isn't fish, the sausage isn't sausage, and I don't know what's in the steak and kidney
45:22pudding, but I'll eat them all.
45:23Yeah?
45:24Yeah.
45:24We analysed reviews of chippies and found dozens of complaints where the species of the
45:29fish was questioned.
45:30Who's doing that?
45:31What kind of review is that?
45:33I've never read a review where the word species is in it.
45:37We bought 10 portions from takeaways and sent them for DNA testing.
45:41I don't think we need to know who the dad is to the fish.
45:45We're not looking for its mum and dad to not find it anymore.
45:49Imagine if our fish and chip shops are letting us down.
45:51Imagine what all the other takeaways are doing, Daniela.
45:53Exactly.
45:53The test showed that seven of the samples were cod and haddock, as advertised, but the remaining
45:59three, which were sold to us as traditional fish, were in fact a tropical freshwater calf
46:04fish known as river cobbler.
46:06Hey, they need a dun-dun-dun!
46:09I love the fact that this is happening, isn't it?
46:11But the sneaky-looking donna kebab in the corner is spinning round going, don't ask
46:16any questions about me.
46:18You don't want to know the answers.
46:20Yeah.
46:25Liverpool squeezed through and Brighton were a little unexpected.
46:29Jill Scott and Maisie Adam bring us the Women's FA Cup semi-final this Sunday at 12.
46:34And Colleen Nolan is being equipped with some naughty toys.
46:39Spare your blushes.
46:40Celebs go dating Monday night at 9.25 on E4.
46:43We'll stream the series so far.
46:47We'll stream the series so far.
46:49We'll see you inaudible bet.
46:49Homedos are one of our� Гiong4 Amber group 20.
46:51Some of the Sistemas are on the beach.
46:51Back to my 3 seven-week video.
46:51This is getting all the features.
46:52Fitness is going into a while.
46:52Live in dud.
46:52www.viesc.co.chr Lucas near the disaster.
46:52Babики Perdue in Minute currents at that,
46:53Absolutely you have something to have fun.
46:53Despite my first few days, Yeah, true.
46:53I never have fun with your stay.
46:53You have a great friend really dear.
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