The Dark Reality Of The Christian Music Industry | State Of Grace | Refinery29 - video Dailymotion

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On this episode of State Of Grace, our host Grace Baldridge uncovers the dark reality of the Christian music industry. She hears accounts from folks who can attest to the fact that this community does not practice what they preach. Watch this week’s State Of Grace to learn more.  ABOUT SERIES State Of Grace is a series that explores the intersection of human rights, sexuality, and faith. Host Grace Baldridge dives into controversial societal realities that Americans face everyday and how to navigate the modern world while remaining faithful.   ABOUT REFINERY29  Refinery29 is a modern woman's destination for how to live a stylish, well-rounded life. http://refinery29.com/  RELATED CONTENT The Life Threatening Dangers Of Gay Conversion Therapy https://youtube.com/watch?v=HL5ThApf0IA The Dark Reality Of Celebrity Endorsed Mega-Churches https://youtube.com/watch?v=KLuB7fvMlhc The Scary Reality Of Sex Education In Alabama https://youtube.com/watch?v=j3ej5JBa95E  SUBSCRIBE TO REFINERY29 Subscribe to the Refinery29 channel: http://bit.ly/subscribe-to-r29 Follow Grace Baldridge on Instagram: https://instagram.com/gracebaldridge/ Follow Unbothered on Instagram: https://instagram.com/r29unbothered/ Follow Refinery29 on Instagram: https://instagram.com/refinery29/

Transcript

00:00Once I was out of the Christian music industry I realized like a lot of the

00:04damage that was done while I was in it. Music has historically been one of the

00:11most prominent and accessible forms of worship in Christianity. Music is a

00:15unifier that can transcend culture, language, and distance. But what happens

00:19when that experience gets commodified? Enter the contemporary Christian music

00:23industry. Emerging as a genre in the late 60s, musician Larry Norman pioneered

00:28contemporary Christian music as we know it today.

00:31All I'm really trying to say is why should the devil have all the good music?

00:36He married his rock and roll style with a spiritual, Jesus-loving message and brought

00:41Christian music mainstream. Kind of. Since then, CCM has grown into a multi-million

00:48dollar industry, encompassing nearly every musical style, but united in one

00:53lyrical theme. Praising the Lord. Between publishing, radio play,

00:58licensing music to churches and live shows, this multi-faceted industry is not slowing down.

01:04Major artists continue to sell out arenas, headline major festivals, and even

01:08appear on the Ellen Show, which is a whole thing.

01:13I was raised on Christian music. I know pretty much all the words to every DC

01:17Talk song, Switchfoot, Reliant K, Newsboys, not to brag. But as I got older, I realized that as a queer

01:25Christian,

01:25a lot of this music and the artists behind it would not be welcoming or affirming of who I am.

01:32So I set out to check in with the industry as it stands today. In an industry that's built on

01:37faith, with the product being a deeper connection to God through music, who is being championed? And who

01:43is being left behind? We all know Nashville is music city, but it's not just country music they're

01:50exporting. Nashville is home to the majority of Christian artists, labels and publishing companies.

01:55It's a uniquely positioned city at the intersection of Bible Bell ideology and entertainment sensibilities.

02:05My first stop is at the home of Lauren Deliri. Lauren and her sister performed in a Christian pop

02:11band called Love Collide. They were Juno award-winning touring artists with three studio albums.

02:17Recently, Lauren began deconstructing her faith and pinpointing the ways her beliefs weren't

02:22compatible with the pressures of the Christian music industry. Being in the Christian music industry,

02:28obviously you have to adhere to purity culture, especially as girls. It's this weird fine line

02:34between like you have to obviously look cool, but also not be like revealing. I remember one time we were

02:41doing a show. I lifted my hands in worship and there's like there's like a picture where you can see

02:47like this much of like my stomach. How dare you? Yeah, I know, right? I remember somebody tweeted at us

02:52and was just like, how can you like consider yourself a Christian? How can you even say you're

02:56worshiping whenever you're like making your brothers in Christ stumble with the skin that you're showing

03:02with midriff? Is it true you can't like jump and dance on stage? Yeah, yeah. People would complain about

03:08it. Men would. Right. And they would say it was too sexual. One of our singles, I Don't Want It.

03:13The music

03:14video for it. We had like paint dripping and there's one point where I'm singing and so there's like paint

03:19dripping down on my face and we got complaints that it looked like semen. Just out of curiosity,

03:25were these people, have we confirmed that they are aware of what semen? Just, just would be an

03:31interesting follow-up because as far as I know if it is hot pink then you should see a doctor.

03:35It's just

03:35wild to me that kind of stuff like to me the modern Christian message right now is like we are

03:42nothing,

03:42weird but worms. Putting ourselves down so much and then looking at a holy god like it's just all

03:47about this like huge gap. While worship music can feel incredibly cathartic, the content of most

03:53popular songs is non-specific and tends to rely heavily on generic formulas and a lot of times

03:59water metaphors. So Lauren and I gave ourselves a challenge. I think that we should write an I am the

04:06worm worship song. Oh but I am worm. Sort of as an example of the cadence of Christian music that

04:12is easy to match. Let's see if we can do it in 10 minutes. Something like glory, you are not

04:19good

04:19the moment. I will be my savior, you reach out to me. Oh my gosh. You're like just doing it.

04:27Okay, I love it.

04:28I love it. Okay. No, it's perfect. I'm not saying it's a great song. I'm just saying it's the

04:32structure of a worship song. It's wonderful. Though I am not worthy. There's something like glory ever

04:40undeserving. It hurts me. I'm sorry. I'm thinking about like when do the hands go up in the service

04:45and we will praise. Holy Father. Yeah, it's sort of like a choose your own adventure of Christian

04:52buzzwords. Exactly. Yeah, you rescue me. Ooh, that's a good one. Something. We will praise you, Holy Father, and we

05:02adore you. You rescue me. All right, back to the word one more time. No, I am not worthy. And

05:11then that's when that

05:11harmony is full on. That's when it's full on. Guys, we have a minute to spare. For sure! We did

05:16it!

05:17And what's a song without a music video? Lauren had shared some of the guidelines from an imaging

05:22standpoint. Modest, covered up, still trendy, but in like a Mumford and Sons way, minimal movement. We did our best.

05:29Glory, though I am not worthy. New with every morning. You shine down on me. And we will praise you,

05:41Holy Father. And we adore you. You rescue me.

05:52Let's write a song we care about. Next! So what do you want to write about? What you

05:59sing is what you meditate on. Yeah. And it's like, if you're just singing over and over that you are

06:03unworthy, like that's your meditation. To be honest, I don't think I've ever felt like there would ever

06:08be a place for someone like me in worship music. Yeah. Because I haven't seen it. To me, it's kind

06:12of

06:13just the opposite of what we just did. I would love to hear a worship song that's saying, I am

06:17worthy,

06:18like I belong. So we started writing and it took longer than nine minutes.

06:29We took a break to get a fresh perspective. This is Adam Palmer. He's a songwriter, musician,

06:36and former founding member of I Am They, a pop acoustic worship group. After going through a divorce

06:43and enduring scorn and criticism from his community, Adam stepped away from the band. He's since been on

06:49his own journey navigating the industry with his own progressive and inclusive faith.

06:53I think without saying it, the average Christian listener wants the people on stage to be super

07:00Christians. They've really got the faith thing down. They're really dedicated. And like, I read my

07:04Bible every single day and night. Like, they want that so that they can project that, oh, that, that

07:10exists and I can strive. That it's attainable. It's attainable. And look, they've done it. But really,

07:14I found quite the opposite on the road. Yeah. Most people are struggling in their faith. You don't have

07:19like a stable lifestyle. So you're always kind of in this flux of being confused with life. So

07:24questions and confusion is like part of the daily life when you're touring. I've heard much talk

07:29about the names assigned to different demographics that Christian music targets. And I want to hear

07:36for myself. It's real. There's like a family of people? Yes, excluding the dad. There's Becky. She's

07:40the mom that is really spoke to about the lyric of, I broke the heel off my shoe today and

07:45the kids are

07:46making me late and I have to clean up Cheerios and blah, blah, blah. And then you have Taylor,

07:51which is the teenage girl. And she is targeted by heroes of modesty and purity. They want to

07:56pour into her this ethic of her sexuality needs to be this sacred prize. And then what's the other

08:03demographic? Austin. It's the teenage boy. He's listening to the hard rock bands like Skillet and

08:09the tough Christian rock bands. You want to be presented safe angst? Safe angst? Yeah. Please kids,

08:15practice angst safely. God honoring angst. The demographic focus is primarily based on reaching

08:24the mom. Cause she's the one in the car driving around the kids. Yeah. That's a fascinating

08:28implication as well. Yeah. Because it speaks into how we view gender roles. Yep. And the culture and

08:34what's, what's the mom supposed to be doing? Well, she's supposed to be raising the kids at home. Right.

08:38Doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room for like the, the mom that's out hustling and is the breadwinner.

08:43Yeah. Like that, that's not a thing. Right. So yeah, it's very one dimensional.

08:49For me, music is about finding community through shared human experiences. When a song gives voice

08:56to something you thought that no one else could possibly understand. But whose hearts are being

09:01touched when the music is being written for imaginary picture-perfect people? Whose stories

09:06aren't being heard? I headed out to meet Ricky Braddy, Lauren's friend from church.

09:11Ricky has spent the majority of his life as a professional worship singer and songwriter.

09:16He competed on season 17 of The Voice and frankly, has one of the best voices I've ever heard.

09:21When I was like four and five years old, my mom, dad and sister would sing like at the church.

09:28And I

09:29would sit with my grandmother and sing every single word that they were singing. My mom homeschooled me

09:35so that I could travel with a Christian singing group when I was 16. And that's when I realized,

09:42this is, this is what I want to do. Ricky worked in almost every facet of the industry,

09:48touring consistently with gospel groups, singing backup for major artists, and even writing and

09:54recording under a record deal. But he found that being in the closet was stifling his creativity and

09:59motivation. He got off the road and accepted a position as the music leader for a church worship team.

10:05The pastor and I, we saw things differently and voted differently, but we were able to

10:10mutually respect each other. And did they know that you were gay? He still believed,

10:16I guess, that it was there, but I wasn't pursuing it, any relationship or anything like that. And so

10:24I knew that I needed to at least tell the pastor. There was a part of me that hoped, maybe

10:31naively,

10:32that because of the relationship that I'd had with the church for years, that they would say,

10:37okay, well, let's figure it out. You know, we love you, we appreciate your heart, anything like that.

10:45And it was not the response. So you were fired? I was basically let go, yeah. I was given the

10:52option

10:52almost to stay and stay quiet, but not the option to stay and be authentic and honest. I've done a

11:02lot of

11:02session work here in Nashville, mostly for Christian artists, like choral stuff. I'm now not called for

11:09those things anymore. Our second to last interview was with a major Christian music label. We had a

11:17fine experience filming, but after we left, it became clear that they were not comfortable with

11:22some of the questions I asked. Hint, it was the gay ones. Following a polite and respectful discourse,

11:28we've opted not to include the interview. But I won't deny that it's frustrating not to be able to

11:33have an open dialogue. And it's hurtful that this interview was perceived to have been controversial.

11:39Honestly, we didn't really learn anything especially new. There wasn't a major reveal in this interview.

11:46The only thing I can think of is that I asked about representation in the Christian music industry

11:53and if there was space for a gay artist. And the answer that I received was basically like,

11:59I don't know to be determined. We don't talk about it. It doesn't really come up, which honestly,

12:06I don't think is totally true. But that was the answer. And we moved on. And there were other

12:11questions that were asked as well. So there was a whole phone chain of freak out because I asked

12:18a question about representation and inclusion. I think that they don't want to be included in this

12:23story. And by not being included, I think that already speaks volumes to what we've heard from other

12:30people. It's just pretty sad to think that someone walked away from the conversation we had and was like,

12:37I think this could be a problem. Because the question isn't the problem. It's the fact that

12:44you're not having the conversation. It's the fact that you're complicit in this exclusion. That's the problem.

12:54We are on our way right now to talk with Dan from Jars of Clay. He was the lead singer.

13:00If you paid

13:01attention to contemporary Christian music at all growing up like other cool kids like me, then you

13:07know that Jars of Clay was a huge band. They were staples of the Christian music industry. I'm curious

13:12about what a long career revealed to him about the nature of the industry. I'm Dan Hasseltine and I am

13:20the singer for the band Jars of Clay. You're a pretty big band. We had a good run, I would

13:24say. We toured for

13:25about 22, 23 years. If you're reading the bio, it would say multi-platinum, three-time Grammy-winning

13:33band Jars of Clay. Yeah, you know. In 2014, Jars of Clay faced backlash after Dan sent out a handful

13:42of tweets questioning why people were so adamantly opposed to gay marriage.

13:49Lifeway and like all the outlets that sold Christian music had pulled our Jars of Clay stuff

13:54off the shelves. We had been disinvited from a bunch of the music festivals and things that we were

13:59supposed to do that year. Christian Radio had pulled our music off. They weren't going to play it

14:02anymore. It was the backlash of the Christian community because I was asking questions about

14:09how we treat the LGBT community. The fact that I was asking the questions meant that we were unsafe

14:15now. That was the moment where it was just like, okay, I guess we're not going to have this conversation

14:21with this community of people. And yet I look at it and I go, I think we were asking the

14:26right

14:26questions. I don't regret pushing that conversation forward. There weren't any other Christian artists

14:32that were having that conversation. There aren't. There still really aren't. There really aren't.

14:37Yeah. And it's just unfortunate because the other thing I learned from it was there's so many people

14:42that have been hurt really badly by the church. Are there other artists that are sort of where you

14:50are but won't say anything publicly because... Yeah, I've got a list. I'll just... I mean, I just mean that

14:57like surely you can't be the only person who's questioning. A lot of artists that are still in the

15:03spotlight, they believe that way but they're really not allowed to say it. At some point, the value of an

15:10artist comes from telling the truth to lift another person up rather than keep a person oppressed.

15:16It makes me so sad because I think of music that was so there for me. It was like that

15:20felt like

15:21so comforting. Yeah. I almost have to like redo some of my childhood memories because there are artists

15:28that now I think back on the struggles I was going through that I don't know like would be there

15:33for me.

15:33I just have to wonder who was it for? Was it for me in the closet? Like who was it

15:39for? Would they

15:41have rathered that? Yeah. Wow. And I don't know. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry actually. I really am.

15:48You don't need to apologize. I know. Well, but as just a... Yeah. It pains me that that's how like...

15:56That's how the story plays out. If you could make sort of a prediction or maybe a speculation where you

16:01see

16:01the Christian music industry going and perhaps what would your hope be? I think there will be

16:06church music and that's sort of the worship music that exists. And then I think the artists that want

16:12to look at the world and describe it, they're just finding their space amongst all the other artists

16:18in general music, which maybe is how it always should have been. The fact that we don't have a

16:25Christian artist speaking to the powerful journey of coming out, coming into yourself,

16:30who God created you to be, that there isn't that, like I'll buy that album. Right. You know,

16:36I want to hear that story. Yeah. And maybe it's not on a Christian label. They might not be ready

16:41for

16:41that. Right. But it won't make it any less divinely inspired if it finds its way into the world.

16:51I miss worship music. My goal, if, you know, I'm going to start writing worship songs again,

16:59is to write songs that I resonate with and that people in my church could sing and you can sing

17:04and not be stepping over bad theology or damaging messages. Right. Sadly, I think the bridge was burned

17:12just by coming out. But it's met with a overwhelming amount of peace knowing that I am exactly where

17:21I need to be. Everything that I create, music and otherwise, is going to come from a place of complete

17:28honesty and oneness with myself and my creator. We know the resilience of the human spirit.

17:36We will always find a way. Yeah. And I think that's what I'm excited and hopeful for. And that's

17:42what I've learned from my time in Nashville. And also letting people know if you're gay,

17:46you can still listen to Jars of Clay. Right. Yeah. Don't worry. It's okay. Yes.

17:54You never left me. I believe I'm worthy and you couldn't be closer.

18:02I see the light breaking through. So I'm gonna break free. Oh, you're in love.

18:12You're in love. Wide as a river for me. Oh, you're in love. Deeper than one shine, rising for me.

18:35Thank you for watching Refinery29. For more videos, click here. And to subscribe, click here.

The Dark Reality Of The Christian Music Industry | State Of Grace | Refinery29

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