00:09It's Barbie Ferreira and we're gonna learn how to behave.
00:15Women have long been taught to be more ladylike, whatever that means.
00:19Or else would be thought of as a hysterical woman or angry.
00:23Things that we just can't be because we're so submissive and docile.
00:27We've been suppressing our anger since we were kids.
00:29While boys were taught that they could just be boys.
00:33A.k.a. fight, roughhouse, all that stuff.
00:37As if there aren't enough things to be angry about.
00:40Trump, Nazis, Billy Jr.'s men's rights movement, surge pricing.
00:46I am angry.
00:48So we're gonna go meet with some lovely ladies from the Brooklyn Bombshells.
00:52Part of the Gotham Girls Roller Derby League.
00:54We're gonna go learn how to harness this anger.
00:57And if there's a way to release it physically in a healthy manner.
01:08What drew me to roller derby is the fact that the athletes that are actually playing are of all shapes,
01:13sizes, shades and ages.
01:15It's really crazy because to me, when I think of sports, I get intimidated because I don't look like an
01:19athlete.
01:20But now, I do.
01:30I can't do it.
01:35You're a good soul.
01:44All right so what is roller derby for the person who doesn't know about it at all?
01:49It's an all-female, full-contact sport.
01:53Would you call roller derby an aggressive sport?
01:56Yes.
01:57Do you think it's like therapeutic in a way?
01:58It's a very good place to take the anger
02:03and the frustration and focus it in a super healthy,
02:08safe, controlled way.
02:10I'm very curious.
02:11How do you guys come up with your amazing names?
02:14I just was like, raggedy animal, obviously.
02:17My name is Starfire.
02:18Is it really?
02:19I just did it.
02:20I like it.
02:21You're trying out.
02:22I'm trying out.
02:23Push back and off that foot.
02:27Good.
02:31There's girls coming to hit you.
02:33That's what you're looking for.
02:35And your eyes immediately go back down.
02:37I can't.
02:38I need to.
02:38I can't.
02:39I lower back every time I pick that.
02:41It will.
02:42Oh, okay.
02:43It will hurt.
02:44Stance.
02:44Heels.
02:45Back.
02:45Back.
02:46Good.
02:47Forward.
02:48Good.
02:48Look at me.
02:49Look at me.
02:49Look at me.
02:51Do not spill our drinks.
02:55Keep it right about there.
02:56And go.
02:57Same thing.
02:57You bring them to me.
02:58I'm me.
02:59I'm me.
02:59I'm me.
02:59I'm you.
03:01I'm me.
03:02I'm me.
03:10I'm me.
03:12You bring me those drinks now.
03:14But what about the emotional side?
03:16What about being vulnerable and seeing where it comes from?
03:20Why are we so angry?
03:22So we're going to go meet Vienna Farrin,
03:24an anger management counselor,
03:25who's going to teach us all about anger and society.
03:28It's about to get deep, ladies.
03:30Vienna, thank you so much for meeting with me.
03:32I'm so excited.
03:33Me too. Thanks for having me.
03:34And how would you describe anger?
03:36I see anger just as information.
03:39Before we're angry, we're always something else.
03:41Before we're angry, we're embarrassed, we're hurt.
03:43We are betrayed. We're abandoned.
03:46So part of understanding anger is pausing
03:49and connecting to what's actually happening there.
03:51But releasing anger is all right.
03:54And that's where I think a lot of times people have the wrong impression of anger.
03:57It feeds and nourishes the soul a bit.
03:59You just kind of get out somewhere, scream into a pillow,
04:02go to a boxing class.
04:03It just can't be directed at someone in a malicious way.
04:07And how does anger management help you
04:09or help a person not get to that point where they're crossing the line?
04:13I mean, I think because we start to unpack it,
04:15what you're experiencing, how you're feeling, it's important.
04:18And that message is such a bold message for someone who's been told that it has to be hidden.
04:23So anger management is like you learn how to communicate your feelings
04:27and how to express them healthily.
04:30There's generally a story there that we can connect.
04:32They realize that, oh, I'm bringing forward decades of my life,
04:35and that's why it's so strong sometimes.
04:38Oh, it's so deep. I'm like, wow.
04:39My mom is like an angry, spazzy person. It's like the same.
04:42Oh, interesting.
04:48You did mention before that there is an angry part that you have.
04:53My anger, I think, just comes from my sensitivity.
04:56Like as a child, very sensitive, crying out like my shoes being untied kind of thing.
05:01Like I was really annoying.
05:03Like my poor mother, she's always like, oh my God.
05:05I just hated going to school. I hated everyone around me.
05:09Like my mom at the end of the day would just be the butt of like all of that, you
05:12know?
05:12So do you think that some of this was learned there?
05:15I know you said the two of you sometimes would butt heads a bit.
05:18What sucks when I wish I could change is I don't want to just hang out with my mom for
05:22two hours and that's it.
05:23But it's like I feel like that's the limit.
05:25We can't spend a night together. We can't go somewhere together.
05:28We can't have a holiday together, really.
05:30And do you think that's mostly because of you?
05:32Yeah, 100%.
05:34There's so much need for forgiveness.
05:37There's so much need for probably for both of you actually to go to therapy.
05:42It's so hard for us to even coordinate like times to see each other.
05:47But we can make it work.
05:48This is actually a priority for you.
05:50Yeah.
05:50I hear the yearning.
05:52You want family so badly, but you're so quick to find a reason or an excuse or a constraint that
05:59will block it.
06:00You want it.
06:01Yeah.
06:04Mommy kids.
06:06Hi, Vivi.
06:07So I went to an anger management counselor and...
06:12Why are you laughing?
06:15Just like it.
06:16Do you think I have anger issues towards you?
06:20No.
06:23So anyway, I went and talked about it and she was like, how is your relationship with like the people
06:29that you grew up with?
06:29And I was like, very good now, but we were quite angry at each other.
06:34You were angry at me.
06:36So I just responded.
06:37My response was not good.
06:39I know.
06:40That's why I do therapy for so many years.
06:43We're too much.
06:44We're too much.
06:45Mom, that's like my favorite thing to say is call myself too much.
06:48Lucky we're cute.
06:49Thank God.
06:51Thank God.
06:51Bye.
06:52Bye.
06:53Bye.
06:54Bye.
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