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In this episode of ‘How to Behave,’ host Barbie Ferreira sets out to meet her perfect match. Sick of dealing with the countless frustrations of dating apps, she decides to make an appointment with Modern Love Club founder and matchmaker Amy Van Doran, who arranges a blind date for Barbie at a nearby park. But before heading out on her date, Barbie consults a few of her closest friends for some much needed advice.

This video was originally published on Vice in 2018 and is being repurposed by Refinery29.

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Transcript
00:13Hi, I'm Barbie Ferreira, and yes, my name is Barbie, my real name.
00:18Only my mother calls me Barbara, so watch out.
00:22Anyone who's ever met me can tell you that I'm just, like, a wee bit extra.
00:26So I want a journey to learn how to behave.
00:32Us ladies have been told many rules of what to do, what's a don't, what's ladylike since the beginning of
00:37time.
00:38Some of these rules seem very old-fashioned and sexist, and I'm wondering if that has changed or evolved, or
00:45if it will.
00:46I mean, you have to learn how to be, you know, a functioning human.
00:50You can't just be, like, wilding out all the time.
00:54I have no idea about dating rules, and I break every single one of them, I'm sure.
00:58Wait for the guy to make the first move.
01:00Don't kiss on the first date.
01:02Always let a man pay for the date.
01:04Don't call him, let him call you.
01:06Except, what are these gender roles, and what if he is a she?
01:10I want to challenge all these rules of how to behave and see if any of them still apply to
01:15dating in the modern age.
01:18So next up, we're going to the East Village to meet Amy Van Doren, who is the CEO of Modern
01:24Love Club, which is a matchmaking service here in New York City.
01:27Someone who is a professional love goddess.
01:33I'm pretty sure that she's going to give me some good, valid advice.
01:42I'm going to keep it real with you guys.
01:43This is not purely a research mission.
01:46I may have asked Amy to set me up on a blind date.
01:48So basically, she's going to grill me like it's a job interview.
01:52Welcome to the Modern Love Club.
01:54This is so cute.
01:55I've interviewed close to 7,000 people through the years.
01:58I find that with the advent of online dating, everyone's so busy being focused on what they're looking for.
02:05Everyone comes in with this long laundry list of almost like treating dating like it's grocery shopping or something like
02:10that.
02:10I think if you reduce your search to these text fields online, you're missing out on incredible human beings.
02:17What are some of the things that you are looking for?
02:19I really like funny guys.
02:21I like nerdy dudes.
02:22Just like guys who like stand out.
02:25Really bad tattoos, usually.
02:27What are some deal breakers you have?
02:28Guys who don't smoke weed are against it.
02:30Okay, so they must love pot.
02:33Yes.
02:34And what are some things that are not so great about you?
02:37I need a lot of attention.
02:39I call a lot.
02:41Like if someone isn't answering me, to me it's like...
02:46Like, I'll call them 40 times.
02:48I don't give a fuck.
02:50To me it's just like I feel like what I'm doing is warranted even though it is crazy.
02:54You should try not doing that.
02:56In order to like get a feel for someone on a date, you have to ask them a lot of
02:59questions and be curious.
03:01I think the way to be the most interesting person is to be the most interested.
03:04Like I imagine that you could take up a lot of the conversational bandwidth.
03:09So make sure to like really like listen and be cute in.
03:11So we have this guy who lives in Williamsburg also.
03:15His name is Kabir.
03:16And for me the most important thing is not whether or not like he's your soulmate or he's like the
03:20list of all the things.
03:21Because like you don't have to meet your soulmate right now.
03:23I think now is the time to like make mistakes and fall in love like eight more times.
03:27But he seems cute and fun and he's excited to meet you.
03:31So just call me tomorrow.
03:32Let me know how it goes.
03:33I'm nervous but I'm ready.
03:34I'm ready.
03:35I'm excited to try new things.
03:37I feel like maybe it won't be as scary as I think it is because I always feel like if
03:41I'm not like overwhelming someone with my presence,
03:43they're going to forget about me and never talk to me again.
03:46Just being aware of it, especially when she says it to me, I'm like, oh damn.
03:50This is real.
03:51Like this is definitely real.
03:52Because I have like a sneaking suspicion that I'm just a crazy bitch when it comes to dating.
03:56I think that Kabir is going to be a really interesting match for her because he seems outgoing,
04:03but not as outgoing as her.
04:05I think he's going to love listening to her and like hearing about her.
04:08So we'll see.
04:09It's the first match so it could go any way.
04:20One thing I'm about to need before I go on this date is moral support.
04:24You're about to meet my friends Mina and Rafi who met on Instagram.
04:27And the crazy thing is that their parents met the total opposite way.
04:31Super old fashioned.
04:32Rafi's parents had an arranged marriage and learned to love each other.
04:36In the case of Rafi's parents, sticking to the rules seemed to work out.
04:40This also gives me hope that not all blind dates are a lost cause.
04:45How many pieces do we want each, guys?
04:50Oh my God.
04:53My date texted me.
04:54What do I say?
04:55What are you saying?
04:56She sent him an octopus emoji.
04:57He said, hey Barbie, I'm Kabir.
04:59I got a number from Amy the Matchmaker.
05:00How you doing?
05:01I like the monkey face that's covering its eyes.
05:04Oh my God, that's like so like...
05:09You should just send him a picture of the food when it's done.
05:12That'll be cute.
05:13Yeah.
05:13You should like...
05:14Oh my God, you're right.
05:15That'll be cute.
05:16Get the...
05:19Hashtag tasty Tuesdays.
05:22He's looking for his beautiful thick queen and I think we've found her.
05:28So I'm about to put Amy's advice into play and see how that works out.
05:33Be present, be a good listener, and be interested.
05:47How's it going?
05:50Good.
05:50How's it going with you?
05:51Good.
05:52I'm hot as shit right now, but it's okay.
05:54So?
05:55Hello.
05:55Hello.
05:57It's kind of weird.
05:57It's the first time for me.
05:58I know.
05:59I've never been on a blind date ever.
06:01Me neither.
06:03Ooh.
06:03Hey, some bubbly.
06:05Oh, you have a cup for me.
06:06Have a sweet.
06:07Cheers.
06:08Oh, cheers.
06:09See, this is the one thing I never do.
06:10I'm so fucking rude because my friends and I are just like the rudest bitches and we never
06:13cheers.
06:14The eye contact.
06:15The eye contact too.
06:18So what do you do?
06:19I'm a model.
06:21Oh God, I'm talking way too much.
06:23I need to ask him something about himself.
06:24What do you do?
06:26I'm a cinematographer.
06:28Ooh.
06:29Okay, now actually try listening to him.
06:32I wonder what Kabir talked to Amy about.
06:34Do you have like any like deal breakers like you just don't do?
06:38I won't be offended if it's directly towards me.
06:42I don't really have any deal breakers.
06:44None.
06:44If you're like a cat lady, you don't like nothing.
06:51Deal breaker.
06:51Okay, what if I like do hard drugs?
06:53That's a deal breaker?
06:53Deal breaker.
06:54Okay, there you go.
06:55Can we have a deal breaker?
06:57Hi.
06:58Hi, Barbie.
06:59Hello.
07:00How are you?
07:01Good.
07:01How did the date go?
07:02It was really cute.
07:03He was so nice, which is something that I'm really not used to.
07:08Amy's advice was helpful because it wasn't like a million little rules.
07:12She guides you more than tells you what to do.
07:14It's actually super simple.
07:16Don't stress out about the details.
07:17It's just about being a thoughtful person.
07:19Do that and you'll be fine.
07:21But I'm still gonna call Kabir first.
07:23Bye.
07:24Bye.
07:25Bye.
07:27Bye.
07:28Bye.
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