- 9 hours ago
مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 7
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Short filmTranscript
00:00I don't know.
00:35I don't know.
01:17I don't know.
01:31Oh, honey, honey, you're going to have to move my car because I'm blocking you.
01:34Why don't you just park on your side of the driveway?
01:36Bikes.
01:38I'll leave these in your car.
01:40Okay, bye.
01:41Bye.
01:43Mom?
01:44Yeah?
01:45Can I ask you something?
01:47Sure.
01:48Do you think I have girls' hands?
01:51What?
01:53Jason will miss as I have hands like his sister, only smaller.
01:58That is ridiculous.
02:00Look at these hands.
02:01They're strong, well-defined.
02:04With these hands, you could be a painter, a surgeon, a concert pianist, a football player,
02:14karate champ, lumberjack, test pilot, construction worker.
02:20Brad, Mark, bus is here.
02:21Move it.
02:22Up.
02:23Up.
02:23Kiss.
02:24Bye, Mom.
02:25Bye.
02:26Kiss.
02:27Bye, Mom.
02:28Bye.
02:28Have a good day.
02:29Love you, too.
02:34Tim, you still here?
02:35Oh, yeah.
02:40How long has the oil light been on, Jill?
02:44Oil light.
02:45The oil light?
02:46Next to the speedometer, a little red light with an oil can on it?
02:49Oh, that thing.
02:50I don't know.
02:50Two or three days.
02:51Two or three days?
02:53It's a warning light.
02:54Didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem?
02:56I thought if there was a problem with the car that the light would get brighter or there
03:01would be a buzzer.
03:07A buzzer?
03:08It's a car, not a game show.
03:12Tim, the car is running fine.
03:15It used to be running fine.
03:17Inside of a car is an internal combustion engine composed of many precision parts running
03:22at a high RPM.
03:23High RPM produces friction.
03:26Friction produces heat.
03:27Heat is dissipated by lubrication.
03:29Oil.
03:31When the car didn't get the oil that it needs,
03:34it tends to seize up into a rock.
03:37Are you saying the car's not running?
03:42We now own a 4,000-pound four-door boulder.
03:49You mean I can't drive it?
03:50Not unless you're Wilma Flintstone.
03:55Okay, Tim.
03:56I've cut the molding to the proper length,
03:58and by using our miter box here,
04:00it's no good.
04:01Well, it's a very good cut, Tim.
04:03I'm not talking about the cut or the miter.
04:06Something's bugging me, man.
04:07I gotta get it off my chest.
04:09We don't normally do this,
04:11but I want to talk to you all about respect.
04:15Respect for the machines that power our lives.
04:19Yeah.
04:19I know this guy that found out his wife
04:21has been driving a car for three days
04:23with the oil light on.
04:24Wow, so typical.
04:26No respect.
04:28None.
04:29My wife, she...
04:30Not my wife.
04:31This guy's wife
04:37Didn't even think about that engine.
04:39I hear you, man.
04:41You know what I'm talking about?
04:43My wife's the same way.
04:47Really?
04:48Come on down here.
04:49Get this guy down here.
04:49Come on.
04:50Come on.
04:57Nice to meet you.
04:58Love your show.
04:59Thanks.
05:00What's your name?
05:01Jim.
05:01My friends call me Jimbo.
05:06I'm Tim.
05:06You can call me Timbo.
05:10So, what's on your mind, Jimbo?
05:11Well, Timbo...
05:13I work construction.
05:15Yeah.
05:17Oh, wait a minute.
05:18Hold on.
05:18Hold on.
05:19Let me...
05:19Sit down here for a minute.
05:21Here, grab a stool here.
05:22Plant it and tell me what's on your mind here, buddy.
05:25But I'm really into woodworking.
05:27Great.
05:28I do a lot of carving.
05:29And I just bought myself a serious set of chisels.
05:31Probably like the Vinford 600 series.
05:33You used them last week, Al.
05:40Anyway, um...
05:43The other day, I come home, and there's my wife out in the garage.
05:47Well, she doesn't belong.
05:54And she's...
05:56She's prying the lid off a gallon can of paint with my three-eighths-inch scutche of...
06:02Oh, jeez.
06:05And they wonder why we die first.
06:11Can I say something to him?
06:13Shop floor's open, buddy.
06:15Pardon me.
06:16Oh, heck, we...
06:17We hooked a big one.
06:18Excuse me.
06:25Hey.
06:26Name's Kyle.
06:27Hi, Kyle.
06:28Timbo.
06:28Jimbo.
06:29Jimbo.
06:29Hey, Kyle.
06:30Hey, sit down.
06:31What's on your mind?
06:32Well, Tim, I enjoy gardening.
06:35I like to grow my own vegetables.
06:44Can't be all vegetables, man.
06:50Looks like you socked a couple dozen donuts away or something.
06:55You know it, Tim.
06:56Love my donuts.
06:58Anyway, my wife uses my good gardening tools, and she leaves them in the yard.
07:03Tim, every tool I own has suffered some degree of rust damage.
07:07Oh.
07:08If your wife was here right now, what would you say to her?
07:12I don't know.
07:13Well, I'd probably say, Ginger, when you don't respect my twos, you don't respect me.
07:27So stop it.
07:35I wish I could say something like that to my wife.
07:38She's got a hundred bottles in the shower.
07:41You know, conditioners and shampoos and rinses.
07:44What does she need all that stuff for?
07:46Yeah.
07:47Yeah.
07:49That's nothing.
07:50My wife?
07:51Ginger.
07:52My wife has these two and three quarter inch press-on nails.
07:57Well, I'm at home watching Circus of the Stars, and I hear this tapping.
08:01I look over at the wife.
08:02She's tapping with her fingernail on the front of her teeth.
08:05Drives me nuts.
08:07You think that's bad?
08:08My wife does a thing in the shower.
08:09Wait a minute.
08:09I taught you both.
08:10My wife drools in her sleep.
08:12Oh, disgusting.
08:15I'm not talking about a little puddle.
08:16I'm talking about hook up the hose.
08:18Let's water the lawn.
08:20No, no, no.
08:22Man, the light boat, she's drooling.
08:24Get in that clip.
08:26Where's she drooling?
08:26She's drooling.
08:27Drooling down the river.
08:29Drooling.
08:30Drooling.
08:31Drooling down the river.
08:32Tim.
08:32What is it, Al?
08:33Come on, join in drooling.
08:35We only have a few minutes left, Tim.
08:37We're having an important discussion here.
08:40About drool, Tim?
08:44I wouldn't expect you to understand you're not married.
08:47Well, enough about your love life, Al.
08:50Let's get some work.
08:51You guys want to help me out?
08:51Great.
08:52Sure.
08:52All right.
08:54I want to watch Dan's show.
08:56Okay.
09:00You know, who's that guy?
09:02I don't know.
09:03Do you have the right child?
09:04Here, give me the thing.
09:06Yeah, there's Dad.
09:08Oh.
09:09What is he up to now?
09:10Wait, wait, wait.
09:10I guess you both beat.
09:12My wife drools in her sleep.
09:13Oh, boys, I think you should go upstairs and play.
09:21We would have watched that show.
09:22I said, out.
09:29It's like...
09:31Tim?
09:32I know what you're going to say.
09:34I've already decided I'm not going to say another word about the oil light.
09:39You made a mistake.
09:41Anybody can make a mistake.
09:42And I forgive you.
09:44She's drooling.
09:45She's drooling.
09:46She's drooling down the river.
09:50You saw the show, huh?
09:54Tim, how could you do that?
09:56You and I joke about it all the time.
09:57We laugh about you.
09:58You and I joke about it all the time.
10:00In the privacy of our bedroom, not on television.
10:02We have rocks in your head, don't you think?
10:05Let's talk about who didn't think for a minute.
10:07Who drove around for two days with the oil light on?
10:09Wait.
10:10I thought you said you weren't going to bring up the oil light.
10:12With all those rocks in my head, sometimes I don't know what I'm saying.
10:17Look, my mistake involved a car.
10:19Your mistake involved a human being.
10:21Me.
10:22There's a big difference here.
10:23Of course, I don't expect you to understand that since you're completely insensitive.
10:27Insensitive?
10:28You didn't even think about how I would feel.
10:31Well, I didn't tell him everything.
10:39Everything?
10:41You know when you roll on your side, you gurgle?
10:46What, are you saving that for the Christmas special?
10:49No.
10:56Mommy, I'm worried.
10:58About what, honey?
11:00If you drool and sleep on your back, won't you drown?
11:16No, honey.
11:18Thank you for your concern.
11:19Eat a carrot.
11:22Sandy!
11:24It's all over school about what Jason Loomis said about your girl hands.
11:28Oh, no.
11:29But I stood up for you.
11:31Good for you, Brad.
11:32And I got you a little something to make you feel better.
11:34What is it?
11:36Passion pink fingernail polish!
11:39You, baby!
11:41Brad Taylor!
11:42Hi.
11:45What are you doing?
11:48I was thinking about what you said in the garage about that drool thing, and you were right.
11:52I overstepped my bounds, and I was really insensitive.
11:57You notice I paused there, in case you wanted to say I forgive you, Tim.
12:03It would fit right here.
12:07Or not.
12:09Come on, Jill.
12:10Are you ever going to talk to me again?
12:11I just want to know one thing.
12:14What does my drooling have to do with home improvement?
12:18Well, no one likes to live in a damp house.
12:27Wrong answer.
12:29What does my drooling have to do with home improvement?
12:34Nothing.
12:37So, you just got up and said,
12:40Oh, what a beautiful morning.
12:41I think I'll humiliate my wife today.
12:43I was just telling stories on the show with these guys.
12:45I brought up the oil light, and we seized the motor.
12:48Wait a minute, wait a minute.
12:49You told them about the oil light?
12:52Uh-oh.
12:55Why did you do that?
12:57I don't know.
12:58Why did you go on TV and humiliate me?
13:01I don't know.
13:04I got a good idea.
13:06Why don't you just change the name of your show from Tool Time to My Stupid Wife?
13:20Hi, Wilson.
13:21Hi, Ho-Dim.
13:24Another glorious autumn afternoon.
13:26Well, it sure is.
13:28And you're burning leaves.
13:29Occasionally, I like to throw a handful on the old barbecue and just sniff.
13:34Try to remember the old days.
13:36I got a little problem.
13:37Can I ask a question, Wilson?
13:39Ball is in your court, Tim.
13:40Wait away.
13:42I said something real stupid and embarrassed Jill on my TV show.
13:47Why did you do that, Tim?
13:49I don't know.
13:50I was talking to the other guys, and we were sharing silly stories about our wives.
13:54And I had a great one about Jill, and it just came out.
13:58Well, Tim, it sounds to me like you're a victim of the hierarchical structure of male conversation.
14:08How do you spell that?
14:13Let's just say one-upmanship.
14:19See, Tim, men's relationships are based on status and power.
14:26Men feel compelled to outdo each other.
14:29Remember, if one man tells a story about his wife, the next man feels he's got to tell an even
14:33better story.
14:34That was exactly what happened.
14:36I got caught up in that hierarchical thing.
14:41Happens all the time, Tim.
14:43Well, I don't want it to happen.
14:44How do you make it stop?
14:46Well, Tim, men have to learn to compete less and listen more.
14:50We have to learn to start sharing our feelings.
14:55Yeah!
14:57Thank you all.
15:00A lot of people have said to me, I saw the show the other day with all the guy talk.
15:04What was that all about?
15:05Well, mostly it was about getting in trouble with our wives.
15:08No kidding.
15:09Ginger's living with her mother.
15:12Well, on today's show, we're going to see if we can straighten things out.
15:15Al, I got a seat for you.
15:17No, thank you, Tim.
15:22Well, tool time is more than just home improvement.
15:25It's male improvement.
15:26And an improved male is more sensitive to his wife.
15:29How do we get sensitive?
15:30By digging deep down our emotions and sharing our feelings with others.
15:34You guys up to it?
15:39I thought we were going to get to use the tools.
15:43Not today, Jimbo.
15:46What are you feeling?
15:47Well, I guess I'm feeling confused.
15:49I was looking forward to using the tools.
15:53Any other feelings?
15:55I'm feeling hungry.
15:58Hey, good.
15:59That's just a good feeling there, Kyle.
16:01How about you?
16:02What are you feeling?
16:04I was feeling fine until Jimbo here said he was feeling hungry.
16:10Now I'm feeling hungry.
16:13And that makes me mad.
16:17Why is that?
16:20Because I want a big old piece of pork.
16:24And my doctor said it's too fatty.
16:26What the hell did I have that bypass for anyway?
16:29Hey, settle down, man.
16:30I want some pork, damn it.
16:31All right, all right, all right.
16:36Let's steer clear of the meat products for a minute.
16:41Let's talk about real emotion.
16:44Crying.
16:46When was the last time you cried?
16:48Jim?
16:51You mean cried, cried, or cried because something heavy fell on you?
16:55Once I dropped a spin at piano, I'm...
16:56No, no, no, no, no.
16:57I need an emotional experience, a deep one that we can share with all of us.
17:04Well, now that I think of it, there was one time when I almost cried.
17:08Let it go, man.
17:13It was 1968.
17:15The Tigers won the World Series.
17:17Oh, man!
17:20It was like six home runs.
17:21Yeah, I was going to make it.
17:22Oh, wait, we're talking about emotions.
17:24We're talking about emotions.
17:2484, they took the Padres.
17:26Remember that?
17:26No, no, no, no comparison.
17:27I'm talking 68, when baseball was baseball.
17:29You got that right, man.
17:30Tiger Stadium used to serve up a great pork sauce.
17:33Yes.
17:35I tell you, now you go out there for a buck 85.
17:39What do you get?
17:39You don't know what you're talking?
17:40Ah, hot dog.
17:42Two bites and it's gone, huh?
17:45I mean, you got a burp to find out what it tastes like.
17:47Yeah!
17:47What do you say?
17:49Oh, oh, good night, nurse.
17:54I'm spent.
17:56Oh.
17:56All right, Tim.
17:58You want to get back to her?
18:00No, Tim.
18:01I was thinking about what you said the other day.
18:04About how I wouldn't understand what you were talking about until I was married.
18:09So?
18:10It made me feel like I was desperate.
18:11Like I would never be able to find someone who'd marry me.
18:15I didn't nest out what I meant.
18:17Well, I just wanted you to know that it really hurt me.
18:25Hey, hey, hey.
18:26Al just shared a feeling.
18:29That's that.
18:29Yeah, that's what that saw.
18:31Why don't we get to that circular saw now?
18:33That's what we ought to do.
18:34I mean, well, you have a wife and a family.
18:36You have no idea what it's like coming home to an empty one-bedroom apartment every night.
18:42You got a great-looking apartment.
18:43I've been there.
18:44It's nice.
18:44Well, I just think you wouldn't kid me so much if you knew,
18:48well, just how very, very lonely I am.
19:00I'm going back to my seat.
19:02Okay.
19:07Al, hey, buddy.
19:12It's male improvement.
19:14And the improved male is sensitive to his wife's needs.
19:17And how do we get sensitive?
19:19By reaching down deep, getting in touch with our emotions,
19:22and sharing our feelings with others.
19:30Yeah!
19:32Yeah, you did it, Dad!
19:34You got the car running.
19:36Excellent!
19:37Yeah!
19:38Woo!
19:39Yeah!
19:40Yeah!
19:42Master mechanic triumphs.
19:46Dad did an awesome job, didn't he, Mom?
19:49Yeah.
19:50Yeah, he really did.
19:51Boys, why don't you go wash up before dinner?
19:53Okay.
19:54Okay.
20:04So, you, uh, put a lot of work into that car.
20:09Not really.
20:10Just had to remove the damaged short block, get all the damaged parts out.
20:14Got a new short block, had it milled and bored for me.
20:17New piston rings, connecting rods, main bearings, oil pump, fuel pump, water pump,
20:22upper motor, polish and port the heads.
20:25Uh, new canooder valve, rewired it, add more.
20:30Add a little more power, but that's about it, hon.
20:34I didn't realize that that little oil light could be such a big problem.
20:39It's just a car, honey.
20:42It's not a human being.
20:45It's not like the human being I love more than anything else in the world.
20:53You know why I like tools?
20:55Because they fix things.
20:57They tear down a motor, see the problem, it's right there, boom, it's fixed.
21:02I wish I could fix things between us that easily.
21:06Is that an apology?
21:09I don't think I can apologize enough for the things I do.
21:15All I can offer is a lifetime groveling at your feet.
21:21That'd be a start.
21:24I promise in the future I will always put oil in the car.
21:28And I'll say nice things about your hair.
21:31While groveling?
21:32You bet.
21:40I'm, uh, I'm prepared to offer cash gifts.
22:00Well, Jim.
22:07So?
22:09So.
22:12Yeah, it's a nice-looking shirt.
22:14Is that brand new?
22:19No.
22:19It's an old one.
22:25Well, it looks really good on you.
22:32Thanks.
22:39Hey, maybe some girl see you in that shirt and want to marry you.
22:48Thanks, Tim.
22:49I appreciate that.
22:51I might be in here.
22:52You know what?
22:55Nice.
23:12Thanks, Tim.
23:13Bye-bye.
23:15Goodbye.
23:15Bye-bye.
23:16Bye-bye.
23:17Bye-bye.
23:17Bye-bye.
23:18Bye-bye.
23:19Bye.
23:20Bye-bye.
23:20Bye-bye.
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