- 2 minutes ago
Coronation Street - Season 67 - Episode 47
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:12He'll be with you today, like he was with me at my dad's.
00:25305, 306 comments.
00:28This is a disgrace.
00:30People like this should be forced to pick her up with their own bare hands.
00:34Weatherfield's literally gone to the dogs.
00:37All of this is from your video?
00:40Yep, the community's loving it.
00:42I sent you a link to five holidays this morning.
00:45I could do this for a living.
00:47What, film people unawares?
00:49Exposing and unmasking miscreant behaviour in your postcode.
00:52I could franchise it out.
00:53It wasn't exactly criminal.
00:55Babe, you've seen the signs?
00:57No fouling on public pathways or leaving it on car bonnets for that matter.
01:01But these deals won't be around for long.
01:03Where is it you're thinking of going?
01:05Well, Lisbon's the frontrunner at the moment.
01:07I want it warm, but not too warm.
01:11That's a four-star hotel near the beach.
01:13Check out that view from the balcony.
01:16Wow.
01:16If he doesn't want to go, you can always take me.
01:18It was his idea.
01:20I fancy Porto too.
01:21I want to see more of Spain.
01:23Yeah.
01:23Yeah, me too.
01:25I think I'd like to spend a month touring round.
01:28Bilbao.
01:29Galicia.
01:30Andalusia.
01:30Madrid.
01:31We should go together.
01:33Become lovers.
01:34Shall we get married?
01:36Never come back?
01:39Nothing.
01:42Oh, you're a lifesaver.
01:44Is that Lily's packed lunch?
01:46Yeah.
01:46Thought I'd make myself useful.
01:48Yeah.
01:49You're like one of them Japanese robots from that programme me and Shona try to watch.
01:55Oh, I'd love me own robot.
01:58Well, it might turn on you.
02:00Nah.
02:00Mine had to stay loyal.
02:02No matter how much I abused it.
02:04It's a bit dark.
02:08Adam's face yesterday.
02:10Oh, I know.
02:11I thought he was going to self-combust.
02:14You know, I struggle to picture him with Sarah.
02:17You don't fancy him, do you?
02:19No.
02:20As in.
02:21Good.
02:22Why'd you do it in the first place?
02:24Same reason you nicked Ben's rugby shirt.
02:26The reaction.
02:27Control.
02:29Like two peas in a pod then, aren't we?
02:31Who told you I did that?
02:33Shona.
02:34Oh.
02:35Have you guys seen the Weatherfield community page?
02:38Er, no, because we've got a life.
02:40Right.
02:41Well, you're not going to be laughing when I show you this.
02:44Oh, I hate funerals, babe.
02:46Gives me flashbacks to my da's.
02:48You said it would be a laugh.
02:49I said that to Steve.
02:50Well, no one's forcing you to go.
02:52It's a gesture of goodwill on behalf of this pub.
02:55Ah.
02:56Is that what it is?
02:57Here's me thinking you wanted a day on the sauce.
02:59It shows the whole community we care.
03:01They don't.
03:01They knew Jim MacDonald.
03:02Mm-hmm.
03:03And remember, you've got a hospital appointment this time tomorrow morning.
03:07Do not forget.
03:09Oh.
03:10Have I wandered into Manchester airport by accident?
03:13Looks like that, doesn't it?
03:15I get pulled every time, don't I, babe?
03:16Mm-hmm.
03:17Honestly, they talk to me like I'm an actual criminal barking their instructions at me.
03:21So if everyone isn't tense enough as it is.
03:23Yeah, do you remember at Boston on the way back from my uncles?
03:26They're extremely pleasant at Dublin.
03:29She is a cousin who works at passport control.
03:31Coleman, he's still there.
03:33You know, they're nice at Belfast as well.
03:35International and city.
03:37Do you know what Coleman says to every passenger as he pushes their passport back over the counter?
03:42He says, welcome to Dublin.
03:45No matter where they're from.
03:46Unless it's England.
03:48That's not true.
03:49It costs nothing to show kindness.
03:51Says the woman who's given up smiling for Lent.
03:53Eva Price, who could be nicer than me, ma?
03:56What's all this in aid of?
03:57I joined the Secret Service, ma.
03:59I ain't forgetting on Air Force One.
04:01I've got Steve's dad's funeral.
04:02What for?
04:04Moral support.
04:05You've only known that fella two minutes.
04:08Five minutes.
04:10And you're down to work today?
04:12I know, it's all right, I've swapped with him.
04:13Glenda's in this afternoon.
04:14That rota does not right itself.
04:17I know, I did it this week.
04:19Steven didn't even like his father.
04:21Not that that surprises me.
04:22Why doesn't that surprise you?
04:24Because he was on the other side.
04:26Listen, whether Steve liked his dad or not,
04:28and no matter what persuasion the owl man was,
04:30I can pay him a respect.
04:32Respect?
04:33Well, there's a word that's lost all meaning.
04:41Who rattled her cage?
04:43If you'd like to step this way, Mr Driscoll,
04:45I'm afraid I'm going to have to do a full body search.
04:49And she thinks they're nice at Dublin?
04:53Why should you sit next to him?
04:55Because I knew Jim.
04:57He walked me down the aisle.
04:59He's my boyfriend.
05:01Well, you can sit in the row behind.
05:03How many rows are there?
05:05Well, it's a funeral car, not a cinema.
05:08Oh.
05:10They always look dead famous inside, don't they?
05:13Like Jackie Kennedy.
05:15Have you heard this?
05:16She wants to go in the car because she thinks she's going to look like Jackie O.
05:19Where's Dad?
05:21He's gathering his thoughts.
05:24I'm here.
05:24Don't worry.
05:25I've not done a runner.
05:26Well, you look fantastic.
05:28You look like you're up in court.
05:30I've been in court for ages.
05:32Not like your dad then.
05:33They gave him his own Bible.
05:35Is there any need?
05:36Come and just get along.
05:37Today, please.
05:39Yes.
05:40He'll be over in a flash, Dad.
05:42Before you know it, you'll be in the rovers with a pint in your hand.
05:44Hmm.
05:45Is Andy definitely not coming?
05:46No.
05:48Mum says she won't speak to him if he does.
05:50She's still in shock and angry.
05:51From what I've heard, there won't be a long line of well-wishers.
05:55Just the way it is sometimes.
05:57Do you ever wonder who'll be at yours?
05:59Hey!
06:00That's well morbid.
06:01My funeral will be packed to the rafters.
06:04Unlike yours.
06:05As if.
06:06I've got loads of mates.
06:07Yeah, I mean, I'm sure the crack dens of Weatherfield will empty out for the occasion.
06:12We have literally just said, can we all get along?
06:15Yes.
06:15Can you just tell her, Steve?
06:17What?
06:17We're early.
06:18How about I make you some lunch?
06:19Oh, no.
06:20I think I could hold it down.
06:22Oh, poor thing.
06:25My mum had a full house at her funeral.
06:28Billy did that.
06:30Auntie Emily did a reading.
06:31Do you remember?
06:32Yeah, you stormed out in the middle of it.
06:35Seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?
06:37Hmm.
06:38Yeah, it does.
06:41And he stayed on the sofa.
06:43All night.
06:44Oh, don't tell me.
06:46Don't tell me.
06:46James Bailey.
06:49Nothing happened.
06:50I saw them going home together last night.
06:53Well, whether anything happened or not, good luck to him.
06:56Well, Todd's a free agent now, isn't he?
07:00Yeah.
07:01Yeah.
07:01Like I said, good luck to him.
07:03Same goes for you and all.
07:05Hmm?
07:06Yeah.
07:07Well, me and Todd, we don't wish each other any ill.
07:09Well, you should look after him at home, won't you?
07:13Yeah.
07:14Sure she will.
07:23I thought of a maths exam fills me with absolute dread.
07:263am I saw his light on.
07:28Well, I say light, I mean the torch on his phone.
07:30He was doing a passed paper in bed.
07:32Well, that's still two months away.
07:33I mean, you're P2 seeing it.
07:35Well, I don't know why he don't come and stay with me for a bit.
07:37I mean, change the scene might do him good.
07:38I think he just wants his desk, you know, and all these books around him.
07:42Well, he could always bring his books.
07:43Oi!
07:44Oh!
07:45Perfect timing.
07:46Eh?
07:47Ah, Sam.
07:49He was up all night revising.
07:52I have tried speaking to him.
07:54Monosyllable or Rama.
07:55He couldn't train too hard for a race.
07:57Same thing with a mind.
07:59That's a longer conversation, I think, you know.
08:01Knowing a subject inside out never hurts.
08:03But sleep's crucial, especially at his age.
08:05No, maybe I should take him to the peaks.
08:07He had a bit of fresh air and might put the calculator down.
08:09Good trail running up there.
08:11You could take those binoculars.
08:13Oh, I'd love to do a bit of bird watching.
08:15In fact, me and my dad always promised ourselves that we'd get into that.
08:18I think you and your dad have done plenty of that.
08:22Er, talking of working too hard, I can't make our thing tonight.
08:27I'm snowed on you, I'm sorry.
08:30Never mind.
08:31Not when I'm not wanted.
08:32OK, so lunch, brunch menu.
08:34Er, starter and main £9.50.
08:37Light bite, £6.
08:38No courgette fritters.
08:42Come on, Tracy!
08:44How long did it take to change your shoes?
08:47Is Kevin not coming?
08:48Not in the mood.
08:49Tyrone.
08:50He's busy.
08:52Dev could have showed his face.
08:54I hope it goes alright today.
08:56Yeah, I'll second that.
08:57Cheers, guys.
08:58He one time called me a jumped up little toe rag.
09:01Well, he was obviously a good judge of character then.
09:06Aye, aye. Here's your new beer.
09:10Thanks for coming, mate.
09:11You're caught in a dash.
09:12Not looking too bad yourself.
09:15I know today's gonna be difficult.
09:17I'll be thinking of you.
09:21Sorry I'm late.
09:23Er, we can go and make her.
09:24What?
09:25An armbling in that fancy one?
09:27Aye, aye, boys.
09:28No squabbling.
09:30You going to barbecue?
09:31I can't find her.
09:32Hey!
09:33Hey!
09:33I found you.
09:34Found your tie.
09:35Oh, where was it?
09:39Probably tied to her.
09:40Kinky.
09:42Good luck, Steve.
09:43Thanks, Sal.
09:44He was...
09:45a man.
09:48Well, we're all looking very smart.
09:50Car's here.
09:53Car's here!
09:55No!
09:56That's a good idea.
10:05That's a good idea.
10:09Great.
10:16I wear the arm.
10:18How was it?
10:19Yeah, he got through it.
10:21They all did.
10:22The work was a washout.
10:24Order of service.
10:25They don't want to see that.
10:27Did you get taxis back or...?
10:28No, some of Jim's pals gave us a lift.
10:31Right, first one's on me.
10:32No, let me.
10:32No, no.
10:33Courtesy of the establishment.
10:34What's everybody having?
10:35I'll have a pint.
10:36Oh, are you still crying on the back of these?
10:37A pint, please.
10:37Get out of the litter dinner.
10:39Were there some nice hymns?
10:41Er, we had Abide With Me, Holy Holy Holy and Danny Boy.
10:46Danny Boy.
10:47I don't think I know that one.
10:49Well, we're assuming Holy Holy Holy was ironic.
10:52Well, it's done now.
10:54Are these your mates, darling?
10:55Oh, yeah.
10:56Er, Declan, Davey.
10:59So, this is the Rover's return.
11:01Finally.
11:03Glenda, will you finish serving these and I'll go and see about those sandwiches.
11:07Gentlemen, what'll it be?
11:15Hiya.
11:16I've shown it back yet.
11:17You done for the day?
11:20I've got another one at quarter past.
11:21Why?
11:22Are you not still stressing about that video?
11:25No, it's...
11:26It's not the comments.
11:27I couldn't care less what people think.
11:30I've got a manic ex-boyfriend out there, haven't I?
11:33If he sees that footage, he's gonna know where I am.
11:38Right.
11:38He's not gonna though, is he?
11:40Unless he's on Weatherfield's community page, it's hardly the go-to for psychopaths, is it?
11:46Well, I don't know.
11:47It probably is.
11:50I guess when you've been on the end of that kind of trauma, you get paranoid.
11:55Yeah.
11:56I mean, I could text Adam.
11:58Ask him to take it down.
11:59Would ya?
12:01Yeah.
12:01I'll ask him now.
12:04Thanks.
12:07I can't see how many people were there.
12:09Seventeen.
12:10Aww.
12:10Who was that bloke with the artificial leg?
12:13Wrong John Palmer.
12:15He's from one of the army bases that we used to live on.
12:18And he was mates with his son.
12:19That was before his accident.
12:20How did he do it?
12:22Gardening.
12:23What?
12:24The story.
12:24When he was on leave.
12:26Stone cold sober.
12:27Three spells in Northern Ireland.
12:29Two in the Falklands.
12:30And he topples over watered as geraniums.
12:34Never really knew anything about my great-grandparents.
12:37Ah, no.
12:38They were from Ben's neck of the woods.
12:40Well and true.
12:41We used to go and visit when we were kids.
12:44Nah, it's a shame about your sister.
12:46Nice that she got a mention though.
12:47Katie?
12:48Oh, she briefly came back from the dead.
12:50A chequered past, it's fair to say.
12:53Spent more time inside than out.
12:56Ah, maybe he wasn't a fan of Savvy Street.
12:58Not a fan of family life.
13:00Did they say that this morning?
13:02No, I'm just...
13:03Surmising.
13:04Well don't surmise, you hardly knew him.
13:07Ben.
13:10Excuse me.
13:11Oh.
13:15When are Vladimir and Estragon leaving?
13:18What?
13:19I don't know.
13:20Well they're going to drink this place dry if you don't let them put their hands in their pockets.
13:24I know.
13:25It's one afternoon.
13:26You have an appointment tomorrow.
13:28You can't pitch up to that hospital stinking of beer.
13:31What's your problem?
13:32A man's dead.
13:33We're trying to mark us passing.
13:34Yeah, a man that you didn't even know.
13:37So what?
13:38I could do without the soreness.
13:42It was the salt and vinegar crisps were out of you.
13:45It was the steak and onion.
13:47Didn't I tell you that a thousand times?
13:54James.
13:54James Bailey?
13:55No.
13:55No.
13:57That's how long it took him to get over me.
13:59No, maybe they're just mates.
14:00No, no, no.
14:01And then George Shaw was rubbing at him.
14:03That's who they'll be talking about.
14:05Alright, thanks a lot.
14:06See you now.
14:08She's the one that's accused George of fraud.
14:11Hard to believe but you never know.
14:13All those vulnerable women with the checkbooks out.
14:16Gotta be tempting.
14:18Right, mate.
14:19That is me.
14:20There you go.
14:21It's good that.
14:21Oh, champion.
14:22There he's got...
14:23Listen, I'll catch you up.
14:24Yeah, alright.
14:29Making you pay, is he?
14:30The old, er, handy Mr. Chaser.
14:33Do you want him out yet?
14:36Mr Barlow's my solicitor.
14:38No.
14:40It's, er, George Shawworth.
14:43Yes.
14:43Been on the cards for a long time, that scandal.
14:47You've heard the rumours?
14:48I've heard the rumours.
14:50He buried my mother-in-law.
14:52Why?
14:52She was into all that, er, and all that, all that environmental.
14:55Oh, yes.
14:56We went with the cardboard in the end.
14:57But, er, he was spitting feathers.
15:00Pushing the top-end coffins on me lass.
15:03I wanted to know how much the old dear had left behind.
15:06You know?
15:06Trying to rob us of our inheritance, just so he could shift a bit of mahogany and brass fittings.
15:10I think he should be wearing a mask and a stripy jumper, that lad.
15:13Same goes for his sidekick.
15:16Anyway, listen, good luck with it all.
15:18Alright.
15:19Ta-ra.
15:21Who was the one in the ridiculous coat?
15:24Oh, Samantha Falesworth.
15:27Well, she was younger than me.
15:29Did Grandpa Jim grow up with her?
15:30Well, they were just friends, but, er, if he had his way, there'd be more.
15:34He was not shy in that department.
15:37He was a lad, that's for sure.
15:39And a terror with a sawing-off shotgun.
15:41Holding up a bank to buy a pub.
15:43What?
15:44Building society.
15:46Like, dog day afternoon.
15:48Which pub?
15:50Oh, for the love of God.
15:52We said it to him at the time.
15:53You'll be getting yourself a reputation.
15:56A reputation?
15:57It was arm robbery.
15:59Still, it's a terrible thing, and now it's like that.
16:01He was awful worried you and Andrew would get it.
16:04Yeah, well, we're all clear.
16:07What was it now?
16:09Myotonic dystrophy.
16:10It's a rededitary book, because Dad doesn't have it, I'm alright.
16:13Mark, stay and say hello.
16:15Some of us have work to do.
16:19I can see who's the boss here, young Benjamin.
16:21She's got a face on her today.
16:23Sure don't they all wear it.
16:24Hi, hi.
16:25Anyway, to Jim McDonald.
16:28Jim McDonald.
16:29Jim McDonald.
16:33Oh, great.
16:34Should we go somewhere else?
16:36Don't leave on my account.
16:38How was it?
16:39At Grandpa's funeral.
16:40It was upsetting.
16:42And emotional.
16:43Are you having a laugh?
16:45Sorry?
16:45Parading her around in front of Amy?
16:47Steve, sorry.
16:48Just kill me now.
16:49It wasn't in the stars.
16:50Yeah, and he does live here, you know.
16:51Hey!
16:52Lesser the lip lady.
16:53Sorry, what did you just say?
16:55I mean, it just wasn't meant to be.
16:56You won't go near my daughter again, you've got to get past me, right?
17:00Enough!
17:01What's going on now?
17:02Steve, they're just kids.
17:04Flipping, leading her up the garden path.
17:07Am I going to have to ask you to leave?
17:08Why? Do you want me to leave?
17:10Well, how would you like it if I talked to your son like that?
17:12Well, my son's dead, isn't he?
17:14I know he is.
17:15That's not what I meant, but have some respect for the living.
17:17Excuse me?
17:18Oh, this has not come out wrong too, but come on, this is my pub.
17:20That's my boy.
17:25Brilliant.
17:27This place is just how Jim described it.
17:30Who fancies another?
17:37Did you not have anything on your date?
17:39Just a cup of tea and some almond cake.
17:41Er, just to let you know, soup of the day is one of my favourites.
17:44Lentil and red pepper.
17:45Oh, thanks.
17:46Oh, did you have a look at those links?
17:48What links?
17:49To the holidays.
17:52Well, well, well, if it isn't Hollywood's hottest double act.
17:56All right.
17:57Come on.
17:58You've had your fun.
17:59No, no.
17:59You had your fun.
18:00I just did my civic duty.
18:02Come on.
18:03He's asked you nicely to delete it.
18:04On your say-so.
18:06She could do without being spotted.
18:08She doesn't want to be tracked down by an ex.
18:11Violent ex?
18:12Yeah.
18:12Well, you shouldn't have left dog waste on my new whip.
18:17Did he just say new whip?
18:19He did.
18:20By the way, there's only one beetroot salad left.
18:22Look, if he comes out of the woodwork and batters me because of what you've done, then
18:25you'll be responsible.
18:27Actions have consequences.
18:29Oh.
18:30Just delete it.
18:34Well seen as you are so nicely.
18:40Gone, but not forgotten.
18:43All right.
18:44See you.
18:45Cheerio.
18:47I didn't think Amy would even go.
18:49Mild blood's blood, innit?
18:50It's a pity things got tetchy.
18:53It's just the pressures of the day.
18:55So Ben's got this appointment in the morning?
18:57Yes.
18:57So he's got to get up no matter what state he's in.
19:00Just popping out.
19:02Oh, babe, I like them leggings.
19:03Oh, yeah.
19:04I got on with that voucher he got me last year.
19:06Have fun.
19:07Night, ladies.
19:08Bye.
19:11So, she came to the bistro at lunchtime with Daniel.
19:14Daniel said she couldn't see him tonight because she was snowed under.
19:17And then the other night, I heard her whispering sweet nothings to somebody on the phone.
19:20And I'm telling you now, it wasn't Daniel.
19:22Well, who was it then?
19:23I've no idea.
19:25I mean, she might look like apple pie, but I won't be surprised if she had somebody else on the
19:28go.
19:28Oh, stop it.
19:29What, another teacher do we think?
19:31Megan's lovely.
19:32We've known her for ages.
19:33Oh, yeah.
19:33Maybe it's that other PE teacher, Mr Saunders.
19:36Oh, lucky Megan if it is.
19:37Oh, maybe it's a caretaker.
19:38She's gone for a bunk up in his shop.
19:41Stop.
19:41You two are certified.
19:43I'm telling you, Eva.
19:44You heard it here first.
19:53Bit of peace and quiet, is it?
19:56Don't blame you.
19:56All that hullabaloo.
19:59Is it always so lively?
20:02We backwater like this?
20:04Ah, it's sometimes quiet.
20:06You're familiar.
20:07No.
20:08Older, but familiar.
20:10Older.
20:11Listen to me.
20:12Aren't we all older than we used to be?
20:15I have one of those faces, maybe.
20:17I get it a lot.
20:19More in Manchester than home.
20:21How long have you been here?
20:23Months.
20:23And before that?
20:24Oh, before that.
20:27Other places.
20:28Belfast.
20:31You weren't at the funeral.
20:32I didn't know the man.
20:34His son is a regular, that's all.
20:35You were a pal of his.
20:37Who's now?
20:38Jim McDonald.
20:40You must have me confused.
20:42Margaret, isn't it?
20:44May we Maggie, he'd say.
20:46The big secret.
20:48I don't know what you mean.
20:51And now, I better get back inside.
20:52He was a married man.
20:54You knew that.
20:56We're two young boys.
20:58Not that it was all your fault.
21:00Big dumb squatty like Jim.
21:02You know, I think I'd like you to leave.
21:03You were awful lucky nobody caught on.
21:06I'm assuming they didn't.
21:08Go.
21:09I'll not cause you any bother.
21:11The past is the past.
21:13And isn't there plenty of it?
21:15Yeah.
21:15You're right about that.
21:19Yeah.
21:31You're right about that.
21:33Tonight's program.
21:34You can be.
Comments