- 8 minutes ago
Coronation Street - Season 67 - Episode 44: Monday, 9th March 2026
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00:08Oh, dog, do you really have to stop and sniff at every flaming lamppost?
00:12It's only another dog's way, what's the big deal?
00:16Come on.
00:17So what do you reckon?
00:18Yeah, I reckon you two will be very happy together.
00:22How much did it cost you?
00:24Do you really want to know?
00:25Actually, no, I don't.
00:26Morning.
00:27Good morning.
00:28Hope you're going to clean up after him today if he does anything again.
00:32You don't have to worry about that.
00:33I'll put a cork in it.
00:34I'm being serious.
00:35Come on, what are you, the turd police?
00:37Well, it's just not very nice, is it?
00:39Dog muck everywhere.
00:40Yeah, OK, I get it.
00:42I'll clean up after him, of course I will.
00:44Glad to hear it.
00:45Have a nice day.
00:46Bye.
00:48Yeah, never post through your letterbox, you muppets.
00:59You all right?
01:01Not really, no.
01:03What's up?
01:04Not sure.
01:06I don't feel too well.
01:07Describe your symptoms.
01:08I'll hook it up.
01:09See if it's anything fatal.
01:11I feel really nauseous, stomach pain, that sort of thing.
01:16I won't bore yourself.
01:18It'll probably set itself up.
01:21No.
01:22Oh, then again.
01:25Oh, Sam.
01:26Are you all right?
01:30Happy birthday to you.
01:34Oh, come on.
01:36Happy birthday, dear Theo.
01:39Happy birthday to you.
01:42Oh, crikey.
01:44You sound like a pair of cats being strangled.
01:46Oh, sorry, Adele was busy.
01:48Oh, no, I'm only joking.
01:49I'm really grateful to both of you.
01:51Thanks ever so much.
01:52You didn't need to go to all this trouble.
01:54Yes, we did.
01:55Well, and anyway, it's nice to have something to celebrate for once.
01:58So, go on, then.
01:59Open your presents.
02:00This one's from me.
02:01Oh, it's so bad you don't have to.
02:02Thanks ever so much.
02:05Oh, hey-oh.
02:06Look at this, Taddington, eh?
02:08I'll be the belle of the ball.
02:10Oh, my champion.
02:12I got the wrong size, didn't I?
02:14It didn't happen for him.
02:15No, no, it's fine.
02:16I love it.
02:18No, it's too small.
02:19No, no, no.
02:20It's perfect.
02:21Anyway, listen, it'll sharpen me muscles, won't it?
02:23They're all guns.
02:23I know it's not much, but it's just a way to say thank you.
02:28Honestly, I don't know what I would have done recently without you and Tad.
02:33Oh, sorry.
02:38And then this one is from me.
02:40Hey, oh, the start of the show.
02:43Right.
02:44It's OK.
02:49Ah, look at that.
02:50It's a food blender.
02:54Yeah, that's really thoughtful of you.
02:57I just thought it'd come in handy, you know, especially if you're doing this whole fitness thing.
03:00Yeah, yeah.
03:02Do you like it, then?
03:04Of course I like it.
03:05Of course I do.
03:06Because it's from you, eh?
03:09Oh, thank you.
03:14Well, looks like that's the lot, then.
03:17Yeah, I'm sorry you didn't get anything from Miles and Millie.
03:21No, me too.
03:23That didn't get now at Christmas, did I?
03:24So I can't say I'm surprised.
03:27Card would have been nice, but...
03:31Anyway, I must get to work.
03:33What do you mean?
03:34You're not going to work today.
03:36No, I'm not.
03:37I'm going to fix that cupboard on in the kitchen, aren't I?
03:39Well, you're not going to do it.
03:42Well, don't go mad, anyway.
03:43I'll be in the bistro later.
03:45Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm looking forward to my best meal, Todd.
03:48Todd, Todd, don't forget to bring you on it.
03:54Got a toastie.
03:55I'm making David one before he goes to the hospital.
03:58No, you're OK, Dancer.
03:59Suit yourself.
04:01Well, where did you last see it?
04:02Well, I don't know, do I?
04:03I'm lost, am I?
04:05Yeah, I will to live.
04:06This one's lost the PE kit.
04:07I walked in my drawer and it's not there.
04:09Oh.
04:10You haven't washed it, have you?
04:12Again.
04:13Oh, I do not believe this.
04:14Look, look, I'm so sorry, love, OK?
04:16Just with everything that's been going on with Harper,
04:18my head's been all over the place.
04:19Listen, it's in the washing basket.
04:20Wait there, I'll go and get it for you.
04:24They're not doing it on purpose, you know?
04:26Neglecting you.
04:27God, it feels like it.
04:29No, things are just a bit mad at the minute, aren't they?
04:32But they'll get easier.
04:33And meanwhile, you and me, we'll stick together, won't we?
04:37Because we're a team.
04:39Yeah.
04:40Right, if you're worried about that box, OK, I'm not going to tell anyone.
04:45You can trust me.
04:46I always did.
04:51Yeah, he'll be there in five minutes.
04:53I know I said that ten minutes ago, but he's definitely on his way.
04:57Yeah, I promise, I promise.
04:59OK, right.
05:00You having problems with that fella again?
05:02Unbelievable.
05:03How can you get lost with a sat-nav in the place where you've lived all your life?
05:07Can you have a word with him when he gets back, please?
05:09Why me?
05:10Well, because you're more intimidating than I am.
05:12Am I?
05:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:14Do that face you do.
05:16See?
05:17Really scary.
05:18Well, it's a shame it doesn't work on, you know.
05:20Oh, hello, love.
05:21Hiya.
05:22You all right?
05:22I was just passing by and I thought I'd bring you a little treat.
05:25Oh, doughnuts, look at that.
05:27Get in.
05:27Oh, no, thanks.
05:28Oh, are you on a diet, Steve?
05:30Well, that's good.
05:31Probably not before time.
05:33No, I'm not on a diet.
05:35You must know I don't eat food with holes in.
05:38Why not?
05:39Well, I had a friend who worked in a doughnut factory.
05:42He said he'd never eat one ever again.
05:44I think you can draw your own conclusions.
05:46Oh, thanks for that.
05:48Do you know what?
05:48I don't know why I bother.
05:50Right, I'm going to the shops.
05:51I'll see you later.
05:52Yeah.
05:52Anyway, thanks, love.
05:56You're going to answer that?
05:59Kathy.
05:59Are you avoiding her?
06:01Yeah, a bit.
06:03Is that because she's not decided what you're going to say
06:05when she finally gets around to popping the question?
06:07I love it, you know?
06:08It's just...
06:10I don't think now's the right time.
06:12What, is that because your dad popping his clogs?
06:14Will you stop saying popping?
06:15Oh, sorry.
06:17Yes.
06:19I'm because, you know, my track record.
06:20Well, she's persistent, that's for sure.
06:26Must be dad's ex.
06:29Hi.
06:31Yeah, speaking.
06:36Thursday.
06:37Right, okay.
06:38Well, thanks for letting me know.
06:42A eulogy?
06:43So I've got you down for an appointment at 2pm next Tuesday.
06:47Pardon?
06:48Wednesday.
06:49You're absolutely right.
06:50My mistake.
06:51Yeah, we'll see you then.
06:52And, um, we're very sorry for your loss.
06:56Bye-bye.
06:58Is that a bucket?
07:00Yeah, but first one today.
07:02It's been quiet all morning.
07:04No prizes for guessing why.
07:07Hey.
07:09Still.
07:10Better than nothing, I suppose.
07:15Look, don't take this the wrong way, but...
07:18You look awful.
07:19Yeah.
07:20I know I do.
07:21Oh.
07:23Can't remember the last time I had an angle for like this.
07:26Feels like a donkey's kicked me in the head
07:28and my tongue's wearing a sock.
07:31Do you know what?
07:31I'm just going to nip out and get some painkillers.
07:33I think that might help.
07:34All right, can you hurry up, though?
07:36I'm supposed to be meeting Theo.
07:37I'm late already.
07:37Yeah, it's all right.
07:38Won't be a tick.
07:52Hey.
07:53Hey.
07:54Er, do you want a taste for a pour?
07:55Oh, no, no, no.
07:56I'm sure it's fine.
07:57That is the most expensive one, though, eh?
07:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.
08:00Er, special occasion?
08:02Well, it's...
08:02It's my birthday,
08:03so I thought I'd press the bell out a little bit.
08:05Oh, well.
08:06Happy birthday.
08:06Oh, thanks, Tom.
08:08Er, you kept that quiet, didn't you?
08:10Well, you know, when you get to my age,
08:12cock, you don't want to be shouting it from the rooftops, do you?
08:14Speak for yourself.
08:15Yeah, you're hardly ready for a mobility scooter, are you?
08:17Well, no, although Todd did get me a food blend.
08:20Well, that is nothing.
08:21This one got me an iron for Christmas.
08:24Yeah, and I got you some other stuff as well, babe.
08:26Come on.
08:26Yeah, but still an iron.
08:27You sat here on your own.
08:29Oh, no, no, no.
08:29I'm, er, I'm waiting for Todd.
08:30Oh, there is a...
08:32He's a bit late.
08:33Erm, I'll tell you what.
08:34Why don't you join me while I wait for him?
08:36Oh, well, I won't want to intrude.
08:37No, don't be daft.
08:39Come on, the more the merrier.
08:40Take a seat.
08:41Have some of me chateauneuf de poche.
08:43Normally I've read, but...
08:45Yeah?
08:45Well, maybe you're going to eat.
08:46Yeah?
08:47Oh, ho, ho, ho.
08:53Right, there's a bucket there if you need to be sick again.
08:55Are you sure you're going to be all right on your own?
08:57What about Miss Walsh?
08:58Isn't she going to be back soon?
09:00Well, no, she'll be at school all day.
09:01And then I think she said she was going to meet Daniel later.
09:03But if you're worried, I can always phone your dad.
09:05No, it's fine.
09:06I'll be all right.
09:08I'm feeling better already.
09:09Right, OK.
09:10Well, just drink plenty of water and call me if you need anything, OK?
09:13See you later.
09:13See ya.
09:30Hey, uh, ready to order?
09:31Ooh.
09:32Actually, I'm still waiting on me date.
09:33Yeah, can we get, like, two minutes, please?
09:35Sorry, I can't make up my mind.
09:36No, no problem.
09:37Not like you, babe.
09:39Well, I like to put a bit of thought into what I'm getting, unlike some people.
09:44Is this still about the iron, by any chance?
09:46If you'll excuse me, I'll, uh, I'll just be back in a sec.
09:50Can we give us a hand?
09:51Stop it.
09:51Get out.
09:53I'll just be back in a sec.
09:57Yeah.
09:59Millie?
10:00No, no, no, no, don't hang up, darling.
10:03It's me.
10:03I just, uh, I just want to talk.
10:06About what?
10:09Well, look, I know me and your mum aren't together anymore.
10:12Well, you know, you stole my daughter and stole my birthday and, yeah, yeah, it's today.
10:19I know you and Miles must have forgot, but, darling, I'm, hang on, I'm not having a go.
10:25I'm just, sweetheart, please, no, I'm not, darling, Millie, Millie.
10:33Sorry I'm late.
10:34George popped out for five minutes and ended up being half an hour.
10:37I don't want your excuses, Todd, all right?
10:40Luckily for you, Gary and Maria have been keeping me company.
10:43I'm really sorry.
10:44So you should be.
10:45It's my birthday.
10:58It's this civil court thing.
11:00It's really got to him.
11:01I mean, he's always liked to drink, or three, but, I mean, he got completely battered.
11:05And then, this morning, he was in a right state.
11:07Yeah, it's a shame, isn't it?
11:08He's a good bloke, is George.
11:10What do you think's going to happen?
11:12I've got a clue.
11:13I know he's innocent, but it's not up to me, is it?
11:15Hey, can I get you anything else?
11:17Coffee, dessert, wine?
11:18No, mate, I'm good.
11:19I'll end up dozing off on the sofa.
11:21Yeah, and I've got a load of ironing to get back to us.
11:23Can we drop it now?
11:25Um, do you know what?
11:26Actually, er...
11:28Yeah, I'll have a coffee.
11:29I'll bring it over.
11:31Anyway, you haven't said how your food was.
11:33How was it?
11:33All right?
11:34You trying to get a job here and all?
11:37Yeah, it was...
11:38It was fine.
11:39Everything was fine.
11:44Hey.
11:45You doing all right?
11:47No, not really.
11:48I've been with Sam most of the morning.
11:50Oh, what's wrong?
11:50Well, don't panic, but he threw up on his way to school.
11:54Something you hate?
11:55Er, I don't know, maybe.
11:56I mean, he seems fine now,
11:57but I thought it'd be best to keep him off, you know,
11:59just to be on the safe side.
12:00Yeah, well, thanks for that.
12:01Truth is, I wanted to speak to you anyway.
12:05Something's not right.
12:06He's not been himself lately.
12:07Yeah, I know.
12:08I was thinking the same.
12:10The problem is he won't tell me what he is.
12:14I mean...
12:15There you go, mate.
12:16On the house.
12:17Oh, you don't have to do that.
12:18Ah, don't be daft.
12:19It's only a pint.
12:20I know you're going through a hard time at the minute.
12:22Oh, yeah.
12:23I've had better weeks, to be honest with you.
12:24So are you going to go to the funeral, then?
12:27Only, I know you and your dad weren't close,
12:29especially towards the end.
12:31Yeah, well, that's putting it madly.
12:33I wasn't going to go, but yeah, I'll be there.
12:36Don't want me to do a eulogy,
12:37which I'm not looking forward to,
12:39but you only get one dead, right?
12:40Yeah, that's true.
12:46Who died?
12:50What?
12:51If only you had a mute button.
12:54Grab a drink.
12:55I won't be a minute.
12:56Better not be.
12:59Hiya.
13:01You look very, um, makey-upy.
13:05Thanks.
13:06I think.
13:07Going into town, so I thought I'd make a bit of an effort.
13:09Ah.
13:11With Ollie?
13:12Yeah.
13:14That's it.
13:16Here we go.
13:18Okay, so we're going on our first proper date
13:21and we're just going to see how things go
13:23and take it easy.
13:24Happy now?
13:25Well, I haven't got that far.
13:28I'm only joking.
13:28I think you make a lovely couple.
13:30Have fun.
13:31Just not too much.
13:38I says, why have you no yellow left?
13:39He says, we've not.
13:40So I've got a pink one.
13:41I'm going up in the service elevator.
13:43I'm telling you, HQ Manchester.
13:44I'm going straight up.
13:45I get that.
13:46Oh, hey.
13:47Just in time.
13:48Well, what have I missed?
13:49Oh.
13:51I hope you don't mind.
13:52I said we'd take care of Gary and Maria as well,
13:54you know, with it being my birthday.
13:56Yeah, of course.
13:57I mean, I'm happy to split it, you know.
13:59We didn't come for a free meal.
14:01Ah, no, mate, come on.
14:03Don't be daft.
14:03Put your money away.
14:04It's on us.
14:06Are you sure?
14:06That is so kind.
14:08Don't mention it.
14:09I'll go and settle up now.
14:10Aw, thanks, Todd.
14:11Cheers, mate.
14:12Really appreciate it, yeah?
14:16Hi, Nick.
14:16I was just wondering if I could ask a favour.
14:18Uh, yeah, sure.
14:19What is it?
14:19I'm supposed to be paying for the whole table,
14:21but, um, I've got a bit of a problem with my card.
14:25Long story.
14:26And, um, cash-wise, I've only got 80 quid on me.
14:28Oh, yeah.
14:29I mean, you're quite a bit short, aren't you?
14:31I know.
14:31I was thinking maybe I could pay the rest in a day or two.
14:34Oh, right.
14:35Like an IOU.
14:36Kind of, yeah.
14:37Oh, I'll tell you what.
14:38Just give me a sec.
14:40Hey, everything all right?
14:42I, um, haven't got enough to pay the bill.
14:45Oh.
14:45Well, why don't you stick it on your card?
14:48Bit of a problem there, too.
14:51Oh.
14:52All right.
14:53No problem.
14:54Just, uh, whack it on that, Nick.
14:56Have a run.
14:57Sure.
14:58Ha.
14:59What's that?
15:00Who would he be without me, eh?
15:02Take me out for me birthday dinner, he says.
15:04Treat you, he says.
15:05Oh, dear.
15:06Flaming useless he is.
15:07Ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:10Thanks for meeting us, anyway.
15:12I'm sorry about that donut thing with Steve.
15:14Oh, I'd rather not talk about it, please, for various reasons.
15:18All right, fair enough.
15:19Is he all right, though, Steve?
15:21Was he a little bit fed up when I came in?
15:23Well, his dad's ex called with a date for the funeral.
15:25Well, I suppose he was his father.
15:28I don't think there'll be many people shedding tears over Jim MacDonald.
15:32Oh.
15:33I guess it means Steve drew the short straw when he comes to dance, didn't we?
15:37Ben, this barrel needs changing.
15:39Do you know why I spend more time down in that cellar than I do behind this bar?
15:42I should tape a torch to my head and be done with it.
15:45Ooh.
15:46I sent in the email, so it's all fine.
15:48Oh, great.
15:50What are you having?
15:51I'll get it, since you're not having one anyway.
15:53Well, since you've just bought a new car, I think I'll let you.
15:56I'll have a pint of lager, please.
15:58Yeah, no worries.
15:59I'll bring it over for you.
16:01She didn't waste much time moving in on him, though.
16:04I'll give her that.
16:05No flies on our Amy.
16:11For real?
16:13What are you doing?
16:15Oh, my God, Amy, I'm so sorry.
16:17I didn't mean it.
16:17Let me get your cloth.
16:18Don't even bother.
16:19I've got to go home and get changed.
16:21I'll be as quick as I can.
16:23All right, chill out.
16:24Just an accident.
16:25Are you sure about that?
16:27What are you on about?
16:28You don't like the fact I'm seeing her, do you?
16:30Just admit it.
16:31Oh, my God.
16:32Don't flatter yourself, yeah?
16:33I don't care who you see.
16:34So what's your problem?
16:38Crude, but effective.
16:40A word of advice, though.
16:42You're going to have to box a bit more clever if you want to win them back.
16:46I told you it was a bad accident.
16:47Besides, I didn't think you'd like me hanging around with them anyway.
16:50Whatever gave you that idea?
17:00For some birthday, this has turned air to be.
17:02I've said I'm sorry.
17:04I didn't mean to...
17:05To what?
17:06What, Todd, what?
17:07Turn up late, leave me to sort out the bill?
17:10Huh?
17:11Sort out your mess because you couldn't even manage to take me for a birthday meal without
17:14screwing it up, you pathetic.
17:16Useless waste.
17:17Look, that's not fair, all right?
17:19I didn't know I was going to have to pay for Gary and Maria as well.
17:21So that's my fault now, is it?
17:23No, I didn't mean it.
17:24How did you mean it?
17:26Look, I don't want to fight, all right?
17:28I'm tired.
17:29You're tired.
17:31Well, so am I.
17:33So am I, Todd.
17:34I'm tired of this.
17:35I'm tired of you.
17:44Hey, honey.
17:45Hello.
17:46Oh, you got it working then?
17:48Yeah, I think so.
17:50And I sorted that breathing monitor out, you know, for a room.
17:54I know it's going to be a while before she's home and everything, but I just want to get
17:56things sorted, you know.
17:58Oh, I think that's dead sweet.
18:00Yeah.
18:04Am I losing pot?
18:06Can I hear a baby crying?
18:07Oh, no, no, it's Carla's.
18:10Carla?
18:10When did she have a sprog?
18:12I don't know.
18:13I was talking to her earlier.
18:14I think she's, like, borrowing it at Summer for a bit.
18:17Borrowing it?
18:17Who's, is it?
18:18You know what it bothers.
18:19No, I don't know who's it is.
18:21Why don't I ask you if you're that bothered?
18:23Well, I'm not.
18:24It's just a bit weird, isn't it?
18:25Borrowing a kid.
18:27Well, you better get used to it, because when Harper's home, it's going to be baby central
18:31around here.
18:32Oh, no.
18:33It's going to be an house full.
18:34Mm.
18:34You know, I was thinking the other day, there's going to be seven of us living here, including
18:37Mutt.
18:37Yeah, well, Jodie ain't going to be here forever, is she?
18:39I mean, she's only here until she gets back on her feet.
18:42Yeah, I suppose.
18:43Not that I'm complaining.
18:44You know, she's been a big help, actually.
18:47It's just, it would be nice to have the place to ourselves again.
18:50Mm, yeah, you know what?
18:51That could not come soon enough.
18:54So, this is not interrupting, am I?
18:55No, no, not at all.
18:57Just checking.
19:01Just checking.
19:22Without wine, pop to the shop and get me some.
19:30Can't, I haven't got any money.
19:34Please, don't drink any more.
19:37All right, you're obviously in a really bad mood, and when you drink when you're like
19:40this, it doesn't agree with you.
19:45No, you're right.
19:45Yeah.
19:47I am in a really bad mood.
19:53Well, can you blame me?
19:55After having such a rubbish birthday.
19:58I mean, you've got me a lousy person.
20:01You've got me a pleasant.
20:03Kept me waiting.
20:05Humiliated me in front of our friends.
20:07I used to pay the bill.
20:09And then even my own kids didn't know it was my birthday.
20:12They forgot.
20:13How do you know that?
20:14Because I phoned Millie.
20:15And she told me.
20:16Right before she hung up with me.
20:18I'm sorry.
20:20And I want a drink.
20:22Why don't I make us a coffee?
20:25You make coffee.
20:27Probably screwed up as well.
20:28Why are you being like this?
20:30Sorry.
20:30Is it hurting your feelings?
20:32Oh, look, I'm sorry.
20:35All right.
20:35All right.
20:36Fine.
20:37Let's have the coffee.
20:39Tell you what.
20:40Here.
20:40I'll help you.
20:41What are you doing?
20:43Uh, you're going to need some coffee as well.
20:45Neil, what?
20:46Stop it.
20:46How about some sugar?
20:47You always need sugar, don't you?
20:49Oh.
20:49We'll need some mugs.
20:50There you go.
20:51Mugs.
20:53What?
20:54I'm going to need some spoons.
20:55I'll be telling you to.
20:57Enough.
20:58Get off.
21:00Get off.
21:00Get off.
21:01Get off.
21:05And what are you going to do with that?
21:09Don't push me.
21:10Why?
21:10Are you going to stab me?
21:11Are you?
21:12Yeah, well, go on then.
21:13Do it, all right?
21:13Do you think I care anymore?
21:15Do you think I want to carry on like this?
21:17Go on.
21:17Do it.
21:18Do it.
21:19Just put me out of my misery.
21:20Do it.
21:31Do it.
21:43And if you've been affected by issues raised in.
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