- 7 hours ago
7 Days - Season 18 - Episode 02: Thursday February 26, 2026
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:23Welcome to 7 Days, the show where we look back at the news of the week and laugh in
00:27this topical face. I'm your host Jeremy Corbett, as per, and I've spent the week scouring
00:31the clubs to find six newshound comedians worthy of your attention. Let's meet them, shall
00:37we? The leader of Team 1 has the energy of the fifth wiggle, was kicked out of the band
00:41for being a little too wiggly. I'm an amazing team this week, Jeremy. I'm really excited.
00:49Between the three of us, we've got two performing arts degrees, one visual arts degree, and I
00:54also think between the three of us, not one of us could name an all black. You have Johanna
00:58Cosgrove and Emma Holland! And over leading Team 2 is the Captain Jack Sparrow you ordered
01:08from Timu, it's Ben Hurley!
01:13I've got a great team on Team 2 tonight, because I have the two most recent Billy T award winners,
01:19that's right, an award that I won in 1964. It's Wane Hotene and Lana Walton!
01:30Yeah, didn't have awards in my day, didn't need them. Thanks for the crowd was enough.
01:34Our first game up tonight is a new one, sorry men, a news one. It is Newsmakers where I show
01:39the teams a clip, they have to tell me which riveting news story it is from in Team 1.
01:43We begin with you.
01:44I thought about it and I thought, you know, surely we've all had our moments of at some
01:47point or another thinking that's it, I'm going to quit.
01:50This is me to Les Mills every single week.
01:55OK, so this is the news, they're talking about quitting. Oh, this about the police, they
02:03don't want to be cops anymore, they want to be robbers.
02:11Yeah, you're on the money there. Chris, 57% of New Zealand police officers have considered
02:15quitting in the last year. That's according to a survey of 6,000 of our police.
02:19Strain on the job and insufficient pay were the leading causes for wanting to leave.
02:2557%, I mean that seems low. I mean, at any given time aren't 99% of us thinking of quitting
02:29our jobs? You know, not me obviously, they'll be wheeling me to the grave on this chair.
02:33I'll be sticking here to them.
02:34I mean, yeah, I don't blame them in a way. Like, you're underpaid, you know, no one's
02:40respecting you and your job. You could see why you'd look towards greener pastures like
02:45nursing or teaching. If there's not enough cops, like, do you think they'll be calling
02:51out, put your hands up and come out, we've got you partially surrounded. It's about four
02:57of us. Imagine calling 111 and you've got to sit through two hours of Bic Runga before
03:01they pick up. It will be one cop by the end. It's like, if it's an emergency, just text Mark.
03:08He's 027, 629. I think if you want to keep them, they
03:13should have three free tasers a month just to get the power going.
03:18I like that idea, just no questions asked.
03:20Honestly, and I'll sign up because I do think I'd enjoy it.
03:24I reckon they'll come back.
03:25The cops?
03:26I reckon they'll come back. If they quit, it'll only take one thing. They'll walk
03:29past a hen do on a night out and not, they won't want to get a photo with them in
03:34their
03:34handcuffs.
03:36And they'll be like, I missed the force.
03:41Well, I just don't think that police, like, I don't think kids grow up to be policemen,
03:46you know? That's not like their dream. So, like, even sometimes if a cop's trying to
03:49pull me over, I'll, like, keep driving. And then when they finally get me, they'll be
03:53like, why did you make me chase you so long? I'll just say, didn't it feel good to chase
03:57something?
03:58Yeah.
04:00Remember when you did that with your dreams?
04:02I can't imagine what would be your first crime that you would commit. Would that be it?
04:07Crimes of fashion. Crimes of fashion.
04:09Crimes of fashion.
04:09Crimes of fashion.
04:10Or sodomy.
04:15I think that one's okay now.
04:17Is it okay?
04:17Yeah.
04:18This is going to be tough though, isn't it? I mean, if the cops quit, who's going to
04:21fly the helicopter over West Auckland at 3am in the morning?
04:25People are going to miss that.
04:26I have no idea what that is in Epsom, mate.
04:30I know where West Auckland is.
04:33Dragons be there.
04:36All right.
04:37Over to you, team two.
04:38Have a look at this news clip.
04:39Tell me what it's all about.
04:41And suddenly it was like, oh, you know, yeah, the sales went up and everyone's
04:45getting into it.
04:45Oh, Jesus.
04:46Rural Corbett.
04:51It sounds like a guy who's, like, just watched, like, the America's Cup for the first time
04:57and doesn't know how to explain it.
04:58You know, like, oh, sales went up and people just go crazy out there.
05:03Yeah.
05:04So, is it something about a boom in the rural sector?
05:08Is that the story?
05:10Cows.
05:10Yeah, cows.
05:12We think, um, cows are up.
05:17I always think you're better than that, Ben, but maybe not.
05:20Um, no.
05:22Aotearoa is currently going through a bit of a gold rush.
05:24That's what it's all about.
05:25An increase in gold's prices led to an influx of prospectors heading to our shores.
05:30In the last year, there have been over 500 permits granted for gold mining throughout
05:33the country.
05:34This has got to be great news for Westport.
05:37A thing.
05:40Like, this is, um, this is the state of the New Zealand economy.
05:44The government said, hey, have you tried looking for money in the ground?
05:51And then they'll be like, and we put it there.
05:54It wasn't Labour who put it there.
05:55We put it there.
05:58Do you think I could get child labour?
06:01Like, my kids are already playing in a sandpit.
06:03Like, could I just get them in the river?
06:06I'd be like, mummy, we're hungry.
06:07I'd be like, you get chicken nuggets when you find nuggets, babe.
06:11Wait, have you ever seen pure gold?
06:14No.
06:14Okay, so if you go onto YouTube, um, there's a video online of Ryan Seacrest trying to high-five
06:20a blind guy on American Idol in 2008.
06:23Yes.
06:23That's pure gold.
06:26LAUGHTER
06:28It's kind of, I think it's like, because there was the gold, an original gold rush in the 1800s.
06:32I think that now they have the technology to go through all the tailings, if you like,
06:36and extract the little bits of gold that were left over.
06:39So I think that's what it's all about.
06:40The technology's improved, so they can actually get gold out of what was left over.
06:44Like picking sultanas out of muesli.
06:45You got it?
06:46Yeah.
06:47I, the other day, found a hokey pokey in my bra, so I get the thrill of it.
06:52Yeah.
06:53I definitely was like, is there more?
06:54Yeah.
06:55We've got to get our gold some way, because we're not getting it at the Winter Olympics, are we?
06:59Ooh.
07:00Night we up.
07:01Hey.
07:07All right, enjoy that round.
07:09I'm going to dish out some points now for you to gobble up.
07:11Team one, you're going to have ten in Roman numerals.
07:14That is X, also the name of the social media platform.
07:17The New Zealand Parliament will no longer be posting on,
07:19due to the fact it's a raging dumpster fire.
07:22Team two, you're going to have five.
07:23That is your number of goals.
07:24Auckland FC scored against the Wellington Phoenix.
07:26A zero on the weekend.
07:27Well, I guess the Phoenix did theoretically score one.
07:30Anyway, it prompted Wellington coach Giancarlo Italiano to quit.
07:33That being his sixth straight derby loss.
07:36Ten beats five.
07:37Team one gets the star.
07:38Come on, team.
07:39Paul, come on.
07:41Yeah.
07:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:44Oh, stars are cool and all, and who wouldn't want them,
07:47but I'd like to give the team who gets the most points
07:49at the end of the night something tangible to take home,
07:52store away in their garage to forget about
07:53until their next move house.
07:55This week the winning team will get their very own
07:58homemade taser.
07:59Check it out.
08:00Yep.
08:00Wow.
08:01With half the police off the streets, they'll still be protected
08:04while the losing team will be completely unarmed and open to attack.
08:08Perfect for stopping intruders, pranking your mates,
08:10or cooking a steak really quickly.
08:12Or if the mood strikes, use it on yourself.
08:16There's a lot to play for tonight.
08:17All right.
08:18Time now for Guest Who, where we get a star of the week in news
08:20with a beautiful face, then hide that face in an ugly Hessian sack.
08:24Then we bombard them with questions until the teams uncover their identity.
08:28Please clap lots and welcome our Guest Who Guest.
08:37Keep going like that.
08:38And three, two, one, about there.
08:41How's that?
08:42Good.
08:43All right.
08:43Guest, your job is to answer a yes or no
08:46to the questions posed to you by the team.
08:48You get a no, it goes to the other team.
08:50Team one, you can start.
08:51I'm judging by the Hessian sack.
08:53Like, are you the person I patched at Splore on the weekend?
08:57No.
08:58Oh.
08:59Uncertain though.
09:00Maybe.
09:02Did you hang a photo of Prince Andrew in the Louvre?
09:07No.
09:08That's a no team one.
09:10Let's just get one on the board.
09:12Maybe.
09:12Do you do sport?
09:15No.
09:16No.
09:17Actually, thank God.
09:18It's not what the story's about.
09:20Are you from the South Island?
09:21Yeah.
09:22Yeah.
09:23Ooh.
09:24It's a South Island no.
09:26Did you just get a bunch of gold?
09:29No.
09:30Are you from Christchurch?
09:32No.
09:33Mmm.
09:34Maybe in the rural sector?
09:36Because it's South Island and chances are.
09:40Okay.
09:41Okay.
09:41Do you work in the rural sector of New Zealand?
09:45No.
09:46Not really.
09:47It's not.
09:47No.
09:47That's not going to help you.
09:49Okay.
09:49Can we have another go then?
09:50No.
09:52Are you in any way related to the music industry?
09:56Yes.
09:56Oh!
09:57Yes.
09:57Yeah, that's a yes.
09:59Do you work in media?
10:01The woke liberal media?
10:05Yes.
10:06Yes.
10:07Do you host a radio show?
10:11Yes.
10:11Yes.
10:12Okay.
10:12So that might have been the platform for the success.
10:16Oh.
10:17Okay, okay.
10:18Did something that you did on your radio station go viral?
10:21Yes.
10:23Did you talk to someone famous?
10:26Yeah.
10:26And that went viral?
10:27That's a no.
10:28No!
10:29Okay, it's not there.
10:30You're doing really well.
10:30I think I've got this.
10:31Okay, great.
10:31Okay, good.
10:32Okay, so South Island, music industry, radio.
10:36I just want to get an easy win.
10:38Country?
10:38Do you know all the words to wagon wheel?
10:44Unfortunately, yes.
10:45That's a yes.
10:46Wow.
10:46That's our final answer.
10:48No, I need more.
10:49Oh.
10:49Um, are you, when you say South Island, are you like the bottom bottom of the South Island?
10:56Oh, can you be more specific with that question please?
10:59No.
11:01Southland, Southland.
11:02Is she the top and or only radio show in Southland?
11:07Yes.
11:08No.
11:09Okay.
11:10No, you can't.
11:11I don't think you're good.
11:11No.
11:12That's a no, so yes.
11:13Southland radio.
11:15Did something.
11:15Got some traction.
11:16Led to a bit of a success that will live with New Zealand for all time.
11:20Oh.
11:21I have an inkling but could it be?
11:23Did it have to do with one of the great like landmarks of Southland?
11:28Yes.
11:28Okay.
11:28Is it, is it in Gore that, what is that?
11:31Trout?
11:32Fish?
11:33What about it?
11:34Yes.
11:34Yes.
11:35Did you name the trout in Gore?
11:38We named that trout.
11:39Yes.
11:41Yes.
11:42Well done.
11:43Yes, yes, yes, yes.
11:45Allow me to introduce Chitty from Hokanui FM in Southland.
11:48Hello.
11:49And um, you did, there was a vote that was taken and you've named the trout?
11:55Trevor.
11:56Trevor.
11:57Named after every second man in Southland.
12:00And what's even better is you actually started this idea.
12:02Yes.
12:03So, uh, driving to work every day at 3.30 in the morning by myself, there's not that
12:08many people to talk to in Gore.
12:09No.
12:10So I started talking to the trout.
12:12That's true.
12:12And then, and then it didn't talk back and I was like, rude.
12:16And then I thought, do you know why?
12:17It's because I don't know its name.
12:19So I went to the local Gore District Council and I said, hey, does the trout have a name?
12:24They said no.
12:25And I said, I reckon we should name that trout.
12:26So we did a wee bit of research and it turned out back in 1989, the local Gore Host Lions
12:34Club
12:34were celebrating one of their anniversaries.
12:36Wow.
12:37So they had to raise $60,000, which late 80s after the demise of everything.
12:44Yeah.
12:44That was quite a task.
12:46They ended up raising $139,000.
12:50Wow.
12:51So actually a local fishman caught the brown trout, put it in his freezer, sculpted it up,
12:58made it look like it was jumping out of the water.
13:01Then a local artist did his thing.
13:04Like how much did they fundraise for it?
13:06$60,000.
13:06And then they ended up with?
13:20$139,000.
13:20He lives at the fish.
13:21So he was a bit like, oh.
13:22What do you mean he lives at the fish?
13:23He lives in the fish.
13:25Climbs up into his mouth every night.
13:26That's the council building.
13:27Yeah.
13:29What, do you remember some of the other word names that were suggested?
13:32Trouty McTroutface, no doubt.
13:33That always happens.
13:34Yeah.
13:34So we put it out to, we cast the net far and wide.
13:38You hook it in.
13:39Well, it's fly fishing show.
13:41Yeah, technically illegal.
13:42So we then got a top five finalists from the names submitted.
13:47Trixie, Trevor, Gordon, Scout and Finn.
13:52Trixie sounds like the trout's about to take its clothes off.
13:56Well, it's on a pole.
13:59Well, the trout finally has a name and that is Trevor and that's thanks to Chitty.
14:03Thank you, Chitty, for coming.
14:04Yay!
14:06And keep that applause going for Team Martin.
14:08They win the star.
14:09Well done.
14:11Yes, yes.
14:12All right.
14:12Time now for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
14:15Where the teams grill their brains to get points.
14:16New at home, grill your brain to earn Burger Fuel burgers.
14:19Now, all our Burger Fuel Brain Grills this week are from the news of 1962.
14:24A year picked at random.
14:26That is definitely not the year I was born.
14:29Ooh!
14:30Team One, your turn first.
14:31Let's have a look at what's going on in this clip from 1962.
14:34Almost everyone carries a camera.
14:36And for thirsty travellers, the ship boasts a lounge bar.
14:39Comfortable chairs in the observation lounge encourage passengers to doze the time away.
14:44Great narration.
14:45How nice to have your first experience in the kuru lounge.
14:52What's crazy is that the inter-islander have not changed the decor at all.
14:56It looks exactly the same.
14:58I do think you can still smoke on that pipe, Harry.
15:00You're pretty much onto it.
15:011962 marked the launch of the country's first roll-on, roll-off ferry service between Wellington
15:06and Picton.
15:06That boat was called the Aramawana.
15:08Before that, travellers had to swim across cooks straight in their cars.
15:11It was pretty much...
15:13Team Two, you're going to get a turn next break.
15:15And stay tuned because you, you'll get a chance to win later in the show.
15:18Thanks again to Burger Fuel.
15:19The best thing to happen to burgers since they were invented by the Earl of Burger in 1962.
15:24Break time now.
15:25We'll be back momentarily with Club Topicana on 7 Days.
15:38Aloha and welcome back.
15:40The sun is setting, it's getting chilly.
15:42It's the perfect time to whip off your jeans and head to the beach for Club Topicana.
15:46Play those steel drums.
15:58Club Topicana is brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
16:01Now, let me tell you, we've been doing Club Topicana probably for about a hundred episodes
16:05and every time I get sort of pineapple juice all over my desk.
16:08Only today someone has solved that problem with a bowl.
16:11Wow.
16:13Yes, pineapple, Apple's flamboyant gay cousin.
16:15That's awesome.
16:16Inside these juicy scales like copious amounts of vitamin C and a collection of intriguing
16:20news stories I've taken note of throughout the week.
16:23Let's see what made the cut.
16:25I snuck this one in after actually seeing Chitty from Hakanui FM Southland before.
16:29I love me my radio but I can't pick her station up from Auckland so give me some examples
16:33of things overheard on Radio Hakanui FM Southland.
16:39Okay, okay. We'll take calls on this.
16:40Call them now and tell us how you found out you were related to your wife.
16:53Hello? Are there any other survivors out there?
16:57I'm out of food and water, please.
17:03Yeah, bloody, yeah, yeah, bloody good, isn't it?
17:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:05Oh, I tell you what, yeah, yeah.
17:07I was up there, bloody, yeah.
17:08I had a bit of a fence fell down.
17:11Bloody shame everywhere.
17:12And anyway, yeah, so I went to bloody town and, yeah,
17:15bloody guy on the cell phone, bloody yuppie.
17:17And, yeah, yeah.
17:18So, yeah, put me back and put the fence back up and, yeah.
17:22Yeah, yeah, Hotel California.
17:30Bringing you all the hits from the 1870s, 1880s, 1890s and early 1900s.
17:37Okay, here's some Gregorian chanting.
17:43Nau mai hoki mai anō ki tēnei te reo irirangi o hoko mai.
17:48I'm just kidding.
17:55I scared ya.
17:56I scared ya.
17:58English as in official language.
18:00English as in official language.
18:04All right.
18:05Oh, yes, okay.
18:07This week, the central tower of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona
18:10was completed after being in construction for 144 years.
18:15Most people who built it probably did by now.
18:18But what if they're not?
18:19I'd like to see some examples of incredibly old builders, please.
18:26Yeah, this is gonna be a great centre when it's finished.
18:29Yeah.
18:30Where did I put my blowtorch?
18:39I wasn't whistling at the girls walking past.
18:42I just whistle when I talk.
18:44Yeah.
18:45Oh!
18:46Oh!
18:47Oh!
18:50What?
18:51Oh!
18:53Previous work?
18:54Yeah, I built this tower in Italy.
19:06Um...
19:06You guys, um, old Gaz won't be in today.
19:09He's gone to take the long smoko in the sky.
19:13Um, so I'd like us all to pour out our monster energies.
19:16LAUGHTER
19:17And we're gonna do a five-nail gun salute.
19:20OK.
19:21LAUGHTER
19:25Oh, you need a carpenter.
19:26I used to work with a really good one.
19:27Let me just get in touch with him.
19:30LAUGHTER
19:35All right, we move on.
19:36Back to the pineapple.
19:38Uh, if I can grab the card.
19:39There we go.
19:40Uh, oh, yes, OK.
19:41The town of Devon in England
19:43has voted to turn off its streetlights at night.
19:45Why?
19:45I actually don't know.
19:46But what I do know
19:48is that I want to see some examples
19:49of what life will be like for the Devonites.
19:51Give me some examples of living in the dark.
19:56Well, I just needed to go
19:58when no-one would recognise me.
20:01My name?
20:02Well...
20:03I just go by Andrew now.
20:06LAUGHTER
20:06LAUGHTER
20:12Please be a banana.
20:14Please be a banana.
20:16LAUGHTER
20:18Oh, sorry, Stuart.
20:20Not again.
20:23How tall's Stuart?
20:25LAUGHTER
20:29Here comes the...
20:31Do-do-do-do-do.
20:33Here comes the...
20:35And I say...
20:36It's all right.
20:38Do-do-do-do-do.
20:44Mum, I've been practising my tap dancing.
20:47Show you.
20:50LAUGHTER
20:56OK.
21:01Sharon, I don't know how much longer I can take this, OK?
21:04I've eaten 60 carrots in the last 24 hours
21:07and all that's happened is jack shit
21:09and I'm blocked up to here.
21:12LAUGHTER
21:12LAUGHTER
21:16Oh...
21:17If we're heading to the bedroom
21:18let me just slip on my night vision goggles.
21:21LAUGHTER
21:24I thought you said you were 6'4".
21:26LAUGHTER
21:27That ain't Stuart.
21:29LAUGHTER
21:29Alright, next story.
21:31The trailer for the new Star Wars movie has dropped,
21:33as many of you will know, you nerds particularly.
21:35It must be hard squishing a 90-minute movie
21:37just down to 90 seconds
21:38so I'd like to see some examples of deleted lines
21:41from movie trailers.
21:45Christopher Nolan...
21:47..is back with a film
21:49that will have you saying,
21:50did you get it?
21:52LAUGHTER
21:57If only she had cooked him those eggs.
22:02LAUGHTER
22:03LAUGHTER
22:08I was a very different Iron Man.
22:11LAUGHTER
22:18In a world where laughter is king,
22:21one evil, deformed old tyrant
22:24presides over six beautiful, talented, funny people.
22:31week after week after week.
22:33LAUGHTER
22:35He'll never go.
22:37Join us this summer for seven days, the movie.
22:41LAUGHTER
22:43Great to celebrate Ben's last show.
22:46LAUGHTER
22:47Alright, that's it.
22:48I'm closing the beach.
22:49You can rinse out your floaties and deflate your togs.
22:52It's over.
22:52Play the steel drums.
22:54LAUGHTER
23:04Very good top-a-carnering teams.
23:06Time for some points.
23:07You can have one team one,
23:09that is the number of pictures of ex-Prince Andrew getting arrested
23:12that were hung in the Louvre by activists this week.
23:15You know the picture.
23:16LAUGHTER
23:17We've all got one, eh?
23:19LAUGHTER
23:20Very real.
23:21So you get one.
23:21You can have 50 team two.
23:23That is the year since mankind walked on the moon.
23:25And that should change in 2028
23:27when Artemis three touches down.
23:29Oh, I love it.
23:30Alright, it means the star goes to team two.
23:32APPLAUSE
23:37Alright, I need to lather myself with Arlo
23:40for the sunburn and the rugburn,
23:41so avert your eyes for a few minutes.
23:42We'll be back with a cracking game of Slice of Seven on Seven Days.
23:50APPLAUSE
23:55Nau mai, hukimai.
23:56Welcome back to the one and only seven days.
23:59You're here just in time for a rousing game of Slice of Seven
24:01where we get a special guest musician
24:03to put on a mini concert for us right here in the studio
24:06while the teams try to guess what on earth they are singing about.
24:09This week, we are stoked to be joined once again
24:11by the one and only Muraki.
24:13CHEERING
24:15Alright, team one, you are first up.
24:17You ready to decipher the news story Muraki's singing about?
24:20I'm ready to identify.
24:22Muraki, when you are ready.
24:30Toes underneath in
24:33Coaches are up in flames
24:39It's f***ing freezing
24:43Dentists play drinking games
24:47I can't believe I paid for this
24:52My two of us stinks of piss
24:55I think 660 are to blame
25:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
25:08First of all, very cool.
25:11Maybe the coolest person
25:12I'm a musician as well
25:13I played the clarinet at high school
25:17I'm hearing a lot of Dunedin burning couches
25:20Yeah, yeah
25:22On the piss
25:23On the piss
25:24On the piss
25:24They're hating it
25:25You got it, yeah
25:27Yeah, let's go
25:27On the piss
25:29On the piss
25:30On the piss
25:32Yeah
25:32Yeah
25:32Are the students like
25:34I mean, what's going on?
25:35They've just given up
25:36They don't want to study anymore
25:37The world's burning
25:38They're just like f*** it
25:39Let's
25:40I think I might actually know this
25:42God forbid a woman's informed
25:46I've heard that there's tours going on in Dunedin of people taking like international tourists down student streets to like
25:56see them in their natural habitat
25:59ESM all the way from Australia, you are correct
26:02If you are heading to Dunedin in the near future you can now book yourself a tour of Castle Street
26:07The iconic centre of student life in the university city, home of the flat 660 formed in
26:13Also the site of a few couch fires
26:16This is all so bleak, isn't it?
26:18Can you imagine?
26:18Catching a bus
26:22What annoys me about the whole thing about Dunedin is most of the students there have come from wealthy Auckland
26:28homes
26:29Yes
26:30And they go down there and go, oh, isn't it fun to pretend to be poor?
26:35Oh, it's so cute
26:37And then they go back to Epsom
26:38Yeah
26:40I can relate, I am actually a student at the moment at Auckland Uni
26:44Yes, I'm a mature student
26:47Which is the coolest kind
26:49And I found out this week that my main lecturer Brian is a big fan of the show
26:54So if you're watching Brian, my assignment will be late
26:59Maybe this is like some sort of reverse psychology
27:03Like, so they're putting the bus around, they're like knocking on the door saying
27:07Hey, the bus is coming in 10 minutes, can you get out there and like, do some vomiting and stuff
27:12And they're like, I just don't want to do it anymore
27:14I just want to have a night at home sober
27:16Like, come on, come on, get out there, get drunk
27:18And it's like the zoo when they start drugging them
27:20Yeah
27:20Like, start drugging the students
27:21Like, I'll give you a couple of nangs
27:23Like...
27:24It's not that crazy
27:26Like the zoo, you've got to get there at certain hours
27:28Like, if you don't get there by 10, you miss the Walk of Shame
27:30Yeah
27:32They have feeding time though, they have feeding time tours around dinner
27:35That's 2am at the kebab shop
27:37Are you ready for another song, Moraki?
27:40Okay, tell us what Moraki is singing about
27:42Alright, take it away
28:12I love them ski
28:12But my vision is blurry
28:14Let's all sing
28:16Sweet Caroline
28:19Trollied on
28:20The Aussie news
28:23Too much booze
28:27At altitude
28:30Ethy's jumping to the sky
28:32So cool
28:33I'm not drunk, I'm up too high
28:35Is this going out life?
28:38Don't drink wine
28:40Out of ski boots
28:51Like a cool breeze wafting up your shorts
28:56Or something nicer
28:57Yeah
29:00I think I know what this is
29:01Lots of stuff about getting drunk on a mountain
29:04Yeah, I heard getting drunk
29:06Australian
29:07Australian news
29:09Australian news
29:09Yeah, look
29:10Another crowning achievement for our West Islanders
29:15They had a reporter from the Winter Olympics in Milano
29:20And she
29:21Oh, sorry
29:22I like how you moved your eyebrow when you said that
29:24Milano
29:26Por favor
29:27That's Spanish
29:28I don't know
29:28I don't know
29:29I don't know
29:30I don't know
29:58at high altitude.
29:59It got so bad at one point she actually tripped over, slid down a hill and picked up bronze
30:03in the woman's loo.
30:04So, not a complete loss.
30:06I watched this and I loved it.
30:07She delivered the news like she was gossiping in the women's bathroom.
30:10She was like, babe, you won't believe who won the snowboarding.
30:15I've got to tell you.
30:16The giveaway was when she signed off and went, ah, and that was whatever her name was,
30:20Channel 9.
30:21So where are we going?
30:24And did you know the Kiwis actually supported us in this?
30:27I heard they all boycotted the medal ceremonies and that's Brotherhood.
30:33That's the Anzheimer.
30:36Yes?
30:37Are you going to blame the altitude for your behaviour at the Seven Days Rap Party last year?
30:42Not the altitude.
30:43The attitude.
30:45I don't know how you can blame the altitude at rock bottom, but go on.
30:51What?
30:52Picking on me all of a sudden.
30:53Suddenly I'm getting hammered.
30:56Le hammered.
30:56Yeah.
30:58All right.
30:58Muraki is touring up and down the nation throughout March.
31:01Check out his new album, Amber Skies, on all the places.
31:04Go to murakimusic.com for all the details and please give it up one more time for Muraki.
31:13All righty, points, points, points, points.
31:14I'll give you some points.
31:16Team one, you can have two.
31:17The number of BAFTAs won by Kiwis this week.
31:19Congratulations, Weta FX and costume designer Kate Hawley.
31:24Slay.
31:24And team two, you can have one.
31:25The number of N-words yelled out at those same BAFTAs.
31:28Which means team one beats team two and gets the start.
31:31Well done.
31:34I've got a hunger for another burger fuel brain grill.
31:37This time it's yours team two.
31:38You'll be guessing what ancient 1962 news story the clip I provide you is from.
31:43Have a look at this.
31:44I was almost terrified at the pace of it actually.
31:47It was far too fast, far faster than I really wanted to do.
31:51Okay.
31:53Is this the turtle after the turtle and rabbit race?
31:58I think I know it.
31:59You know what it is, yeah.
32:00Yeah.
32:00This is Peter Snell winning the family jambo.
32:06You may not have picked up what Ben said just there, but he's had a few.
32:09That was Kiwi athlete Peter Snell, yes, who ran one of the greatest track performances
32:13of all time in Christchurch back in 62.
32:16A world record 800 metres on a rain sodden grass track.
32:19One minute 44 seconds.
32:21Try that next time you're on the treadmill at the gym.
32:23He's a total legend.
32:24All right.
32:25Remember, you at home have a chance to be a legend like Peter Snell later in the show
32:28with a brain grill of your very own.
32:29So stick around for that.
32:30And also because we have a very special game after the break.
32:33It is Jeremy's special game.
32:35Told you.
32:35See you soon.
32:48Welcome back to Seven Days, Rachel.
32:51And everyone else watching.
32:52Did that freak you out, Rachel?
32:53I hope it did.
32:54All right.
32:54Time now for my favourite part of the show.
32:57It's Jeremy's special game.
32:58This week's special game is Charade the News.
33:01In this game, one team member will be given a category based on a topical news story.
33:05Then they have to act out what is written on the cards I provide them.
33:09They all fit in that category.
33:10You'll get it.
33:10All right.
33:11This week at the Winter Olympics, the USA played Canada.
33:13Very tense ice hockey match for the gold medal.
33:15The USA taking the honours there.
33:17Team one.
33:18So your category is rivalries, like USA and Canada.
33:22Johanna and Emma, you have to guess what famous rivalries Chris is acting out.
33:27Chris, let me double check.
33:28There are your cards.
33:29If you would go and assume the position over by the stage there.
33:32So Chris is going to act out.
33:34He has several rivalries that he's going to mime to you.
33:37You have a minute?
33:38Are you ready, Chris?
33:38I'd say it's pretty wretched of you to call charades Jeremy's special game.
33:44I've turned it into a TV game.
33:46Okay.
33:47Okay.
33:48Rivalries.
33:49Okay.
33:49Here we go.
33:50You ready?
33:51Okay.
33:52Oh my god.
33:54A dog and a...
33:55Two dogs.
33:56Two dogs.
33:57Ruff ruff.
33:58Scra...
33:58It's a rivalry.
33:59A dog and a cat.
34:00Dogs vs cats.
34:01Dogs vs cats.
34:02Yeah, well done.
34:06Car.
34:06Drivers.
34:07Oh, f*** off.
34:08Drivers and cyclists.
34:09Yes, you got it.
34:10Johanna got it.
34:11Move on.
34:14Curling?
34:15Oh my god.
34:16Oh my god.
34:17Oh my god.
34:17Oh!
34:17Heated rivalry.
34:19Oh my god.
34:21Oh!
34:22Oh eating.
34:22Oh eating.
34:23Oh eating.
34:24Oh eating.
34:24Oh eating.
34:25Marmite.
34:26Yeah, well done.
34:27Boom.
34:29Throwing away.
34:30Running.
34:30Rugby.
34:31Australia vs New Zealand.
34:33Australia vs New Zealand.
34:33All Blacks vs Wallabies.
34:34Australia vs New Zealand.
34:36Springbok.
34:37Versus.
34:37Springbok.
34:38Versus.
34:38New Zealand.
34:40All Blacks.
34:41They'll lose.
34:42Yes.
34:42I don't...
34:44Drinking.
34:45Partying.
34:46Bubbles.
34:46Girls.
34:48Beer.
34:49I got drunk.
34:51He's drunk.
34:51Oh my god.
34:52Drinking.
34:53Beer vs.
34:55Prosecco.
34:57Prosecco.
34:58Gay men.
34:59Is my mum having...
35:05Oh he's burping.
35:06He's crazy.
35:07He's acting crazy.
35:09Oh my god.
35:09Okay boys vs girls.
35:11Can vs glass.
35:13Oh my god.
35:14Can vs glass.
35:14Oh my god.
35:14Can.
35:14Can.
35:15Can.
35:16Linda Frase vs Linda Brute.
35:18You can move on.
35:18You are allowed to move on if you want.
35:20Time.
35:21We've just had time.
35:27We've just had time.
35:28Would you mind telling your team what the last one was?
35:31That you mind.
35:32About Coke vs Pepsi.
35:35Very good.
35:36Why are you drunk?
35:36You won.
35:38Congratulations.
35:39Team won by my count.
35:40That was five that you got correct.
35:41That's a good score.
35:42Well done.
35:44Team 2 we're coming to you now this week.
35:46A baby macaque.
35:47Uh macaque?
35:48Excuse me.
35:50Oh.
35:52Where we?
35:57Jeremy's special game huh?
36:07How's it getting over there?
36:15Oh god.
36:16Okay.
36:17Well I've had a good run.
36:20Team 2 we're coming to you.
36:22This week a baby macaque monkey went viral for forming a loving friendship with a soft toy monkey.
36:26So your cat.
36:27Very cute wasn't it?
36:28Your category is celebrity animals Ben.
36:31Here are your cards.
36:32Would you like to go where Chris was standing?
36:34And then I'll start.
36:35We have 60 seconds on the clock.
36:37Can I just say Chris Parker spent three years at drama school.
36:43And he got five.
36:44Yeah.
36:45Okay take it away Ben.
36:46Go.
36:51Celebrity animals.
36:53Pebble a pew?
36:55What is this?
36:56Oh my god.
36:56Ah.
36:57Oh stink.
36:58It's a cat.
36:59It's a sexy cat.
37:00It's a skunk.
37:02It's the.
37:03Bah bah bah bah bah.
37:04Some of the sheep.
37:05Some of the sheep.
37:05Uh.
37:06Big sheep.
37:07Hulk?
37:08No.
37:08What's it called?
37:08Shrek the sheep?
37:09Yes.
37:09Well done.
37:10Well done.
37:11Um.
37:15A snake?
37:16A kiwi.
37:16Good night kiwi.
37:17Yes.
37:22A horse?
37:23A horse?
37:24A horse?
37:25Oh.
37:26Oppo the dolphin?
37:28Oh.
37:29Jumping.
37:30The back of your head.
37:34Hey Willy.
37:36Wow.
37:39Oh no.
37:43Uh.
37:43Harambe.
37:45Easy.
37:46Oh.
37:47Oh.
37:48Sting ray that killed Steve.
37:51Wow.
37:52Oh.
37:55Australia.
37:57Australian.
37:57Wombat.
37:59Uh.
37:59Koala.
38:00Uh.
38:00Kangaroo.
38:01Kangaroo Jack.
38:06A sheepdog.
38:08Bluey.
38:09Yeah.
38:09Well done.
38:10Time.
38:11That is time.
38:15Oh my god.
38:17You guys have really done justice to my special game.
38:20It's a tie.
38:21Wow.
38:21Five all.
38:24It's a tie, so both teams get a star.
38:27Well done.
38:28Great work.
38:31Knowing the answer, it was a great mine.
38:33How about my coke?
38:34Alright.
38:35That was insanity.
38:37I can't believe.
38:39Hey.
38:40Hey.
38:42How else are you supposed to mime coke?
38:45Yeah.
38:46It's a good question.
38:47I'll tell you.
38:47Who does have a good mime for coke?
38:49Yeah.
38:50Exactly.
38:51Oh.
38:53Oh.
38:56Alright.
38:57Listen up everyone at home.
38:58It is now your turn, including you Rachel, to fire up your brains for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
39:03Take a look at this image from 1962.
39:06Alright.
39:07What is going on there?
39:08Have a look on our Facebook or Instagram pages and send in your funniest answer.
39:12You could win thanks to the greatest burger chefs in all the land at Burger Fuel.
39:15You do that during the break while I sit here and think of some beat the dings to stump these
39:20guys.
39:20See you back here soon for a bit more on 7 Days.
39:31Come on Mark.
39:32Welcome back.
39:33It is time now to get my favourite dinger out of it's velvet pouch.
39:37Place it softly on the desk and get to dinging the heck out of it while comedians attempt
39:41to list things in the brain-melting category I give them.
39:44This is Beat the Ding.
39:45Every successful answer gets their team a star,
39:47so it's all to play for.
39:48My finger is on my dinger. Let's go.
39:51New road rules have been proposed,
39:53including drivers giving way to buses
39:54and allowing kids to ride their bikes on the footpaths.
39:57Lana, I'll give you nine seconds
39:58to tell off another driver for breaking the rules.
40:01Road rage optional. Go.
40:03What were you thinking?
40:04You're an idiot!
40:06It was review nonce!
40:11Honestly, go home
40:12and look in the mirror at yourself.
40:15You're a dork.
40:17And none of us want you on the road.
40:18Just quit driving, bro.
40:23I would love
40:24to be road raged by you.
40:27I love that you
40:28became relatable at the end.
40:30Bro.
40:32Oh, yeah, you started hard out.
40:34You're like, you're a nonce,
40:35and then you're a dork,
40:37and then, come on, bro.
40:40I'm going to give you a star for that.
40:41Lana, well done.
40:42It was good.
40:45In his State of the Union speech on Wednesday,
40:47Donald Trump said
40:47America was the hottest country
40:49anywhere in the world.
40:50Johanna, you have seven seconds
40:51to name six hot things
40:53in a deep American accent.
40:55Go.
40:56Maroki.
40:59Wings.
41:00The temperature, Australia.
41:02Oh, um, my feet.
41:05It's not going to happen.
41:07It needs to be six anyway.
41:08It was a hard challenge.
41:09I only gave you seven seconds.
41:11All right, we move on.
41:12Phoenix head coach Giancarlo Italiano,
41:14we mentioned,
41:15resigned dramatically
41:15after losing horrendously
41:17to Auckland FC
41:17on the weekend.
41:18It is football, Chris.
41:20You have ten seconds
41:21to dramatically resign
41:22from seven days,
41:23and give me reasons why.
41:24Go.
41:25I have had it.
41:27With Jeremy's behaviour
41:28at the seven days rap party,
41:30it's unacceptable.
41:31He was waving his baby
41:32mcocca.
41:35We've heard enough.
41:37We've heard enough.
41:38I'll give you a star.
41:40Well done.
41:41Very good.
41:43Wellington Mayor Andrew Little
41:44swam at Lyle Bay this week
41:45to prove the beaches
41:46are safe to swim in.
41:47We don't know
41:48if he's still alive, of course.
41:49Hawane, you're from Wellington.
41:51You have ten seconds
41:51to name two Wellington beaches
41:53and four little things.
41:54Go.
41:55Uh, uh,
41:56Pituaune Beach,
41:57Eastbourne Beach,
41:58Isle Bay.
41:59Wait, how many?
42:00Four little things.
42:00Four little things.
42:01Um, uh,
42:03Stuart.
42:04Um,
42:06Jeremy's special game.
42:08One more.
42:08Ah!
42:09Just didn't quite make it.
42:10Not quite there.
42:11No star for you.
42:11Give me another two.
42:13I don't know.
42:14All right,
42:14world champion surfer
42:15Kelly Slater
42:15is playing at the New Zealand
42:16Open Golf Tournament
42:18this weekend at Millbrook.
42:19Ben,
42:1912 seconds
42:20to give me five
42:21famous surfing phrases.
42:23Go.
42:23Oh, yeah.
42:24Cowabunga, dude.
42:25Um,
42:26you've got to
42:26get wet.
42:30Get a splash about
42:31in that.
42:32Uh,
42:33Water Hill.
42:34That's a big one.
42:36That's a,
42:36catch a tube,
42:37hang a ten.
42:39Uh,
42:40no star.
42:42Dunk your head,
42:43dunk your head
42:44in the,
42:44in the brine bra.
42:48You're such a grommet.
42:50All right.
42:51Sorry,
42:52no star for you,
42:52Ben,
42:53even though you're
42:53very cool.
42:55The southernmost
42:56Mad Butcher
42:57is closing.
42:57Emma,
42:58you have 12 seconds
42:59to tell us
42:59six different meats
43:00in the style
43:01of a mad butcher.
43:02Go.
43:03Chicken!
43:05Uh,
43:06beef.
43:07Bacon!
43:08What's that?
43:09Um,
43:10pork!
43:12Two more.
43:12Duck!
43:13Goose!
43:14Yeah,
43:14that'll do,
43:15that'll do.
43:15Well done,
43:16Emma.
43:17You get a star.
43:18Well,
43:18all the dings
43:19have been dong.
43:19Let's find out
43:20who has racked up
43:20the most stars
43:21to win the night.
43:22Would you believe it?
43:22Look at that.
43:23It's not a long.
43:23Team one!
43:26Well done.
43:28Here you go.
43:29Congratulations,
43:30Chris.
43:30There is the prize.
43:31Well in security
43:32of your brand new
43:33taser.
43:34Bad luck to team two.
43:35You'll presumably
43:36be killed on the way home.
43:37Thank you so much
43:38for watching.
43:39Please join me
43:39in thanking Chris,
43:40Johanna,
43:41Emma,
43:41Ben,
43:41Hawani,
43:42and Lana.
43:42We'll see you in
43:42seven days on
43:43seven days,
43:43Ma Pei Wa.
43:50Grazie,
43:51Bella.
43:54New Zealand on air
43:55is the Italian
43:56saying,
43:57na mihi nui.
Comments