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7 Days - Season 18 - Episode 07: Thursday April 2, 2026
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00:19Welcome to Seven Days, the Easter edition.
00:23I am Jeremy Jackknife Corbett and tonight we're joining the biggest eggs in the land
00:27to hunt for chocolatey news, rip open its shiny foil and laugh at what's underneath.
00:32Let's meet the team shall we?
00:34And leading team one, well if he's here then who's telling off the youth of Devonport
00:37and tell them to stop skateboarding on the sidewalk?
00:40Get off his lawn kids, it's Paul Ego!
00:45Thank you Jeremy, thank you Aotearoa.
00:48Well I tell you what, looks like two of us got the memo about coming as middle aged bald
00:53men with glasses.
00:55Never mind, on my team tonight it's Rule Breaker Bridget Davies and the albino Jason Momoa
01:00Tony Laugh!
01:03You can hear the leader of Team 2 during breakfast on ZM, during dinner on TV and throughout the
01:08night in crowded bars at the Viaduct yelling, you don't know me!
01:11It's Tony Sproul!
01:13We know you!
01:17Very excited to be the captain of Team 2.
01:20She's on the list of the must-see shows at this year's Comedy Festival, it's Liv McKenzie!
01:26And he's also on a list, but it's more of a register, it's Josh Johnson!
01:35Our first game for the night is Newsmakers, where I show the comedian something from the
01:38news, they have to tell me how it made headlines.
01:40Team 1, I'm sort of doing an answer version of this, so I've got an answer for you, you
01:44need to give me the question and basically tell me the news story.
01:47Your answer is, big savings.
01:49You call it theft, but I call it what?
01:54What do Paul and I get comparatively to Bridget at the hairdresser?
02:00Uh, what will the Briscoes lady's last words be on her deathbed?
02:06It'll either be that or it'll be, saucepans.
02:10And why didn't Corby insulate his rental property?
02:15That's so funny, like you think there's just one.
02:20While there were obviously a lot of downsides, what was the main benefit of slavery?
02:29Hey, just for next time, guys who look like us can't do something.
02:35Can I have a legitimate guess, Jeremy?
02:37Yes, you can have a guess for big savings.
02:38It's not to do with the F word, is it?
02:40Uh-huh.
02:41Fuel, the thing that's the bane of our life at the moment.
02:45Yes, but the real question there is, what are Kiwis who carpool to work making big savings?
02:50Carpooling, where co-workers commute together and split travel costs is growing in popularity,
02:54thanks to that pesky fuel being too damn expensive.
02:57In fact, it's got so dire, parents are trying to avoid doing school pickups
03:00by telling their kids to get into cars with strangers.
03:04I've been doing this for a little while.
03:06I've been driving in with friends.
03:08Well, they call themselves Uber drivers.
03:11But we have such nice chats, you know, like, how's your day going?
03:15What time do you start?
03:16What time do you finish?
03:17It's, yeah.
03:19I know you were very confused when you first heard the story because carpool to you is
03:23it's basically putting a jacuzzi in the boot of your Mercedes.
03:27What do you mean putting it in?
03:28It's right there, haven't I?
03:29I actually know after the show that we all get into your boot koozie.
03:33It's like a nice way to wind down.
03:35It sounds like a disease.
03:37I've got a bit of boot koozie.
03:39Is that what's on your neck?
03:40Yeah.
03:42Actually, yeah, good.
03:43You remind me.
03:44You may have seen this little thing here.
03:46Any ideas, team?
03:47What's going on?
03:47Well, you've got a bad case of the boot koozie.
03:49Boot koozie?
03:50Any ideas that somebody rub their koozie on you?
03:54Bro, have you got a hickey?
03:56Oh, man.
03:57Hickey?
03:58My boy!
04:00My boy's got a hickey!
04:02How do you think I got on the show?
04:06Oh, yeah.
04:07Give me a hickey.
04:08Talk to me about slavery.
04:11If you go flat, is that where we blow you to inflate you?
04:17He talks!
04:20What's gross about blowing Jeremy?
04:23How do you think I got on the show?
04:28Did you have something cut out?
04:30Yeah, I did.
04:31A BCC for those who know.
04:32A little bit of skin cancer.
04:33Get it out before it gets bad.
04:34Oh, now we look like dicks.
04:36No, you don't.
04:37Well, that's cause you should know
04:38you can barely notice the beige-coloured duvet on the side of your head.
04:43Good.
04:43You look great, mate.
04:44That's why I thought we should address it.
04:45So, there you go.
04:46Put on sunblock there if you don't want one of these.
04:48I just had a little etiquette tip for it.
04:51Tony, you sound like you're breaking all the rules.
04:53But I'm worried about my etiquette tip for carpooling,
04:56because it might sound a little sexist.
04:58Oh, boy.
04:58Do you know why sexist are you looking at women going sexist?
05:00Sexist.
05:02So, it might be offensive to some people on the panel.
05:05But I do find that women, like, plenty of warning before they give you a lift.
05:10Like, you can't just tell them halfway through the trip that you're in the back of the car.
05:17Especially if you don't know them, that's a big no-no.
05:19Yeah.
05:20My, like, biggest thing with this is it's a bit ick.
05:23Like, I find something so ick about seeing a man in the middle seat buckling up,
05:27and then I'm going to get to work and try to, like, take him seriously.
05:30Yeah.
05:31He's in the middle being like,
05:32Oh, corners.
05:35That's my CEO.
05:35You do, because people in cars kind of reveal their true personality.
05:39And that can be disturbing.
05:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:41It's going to change relationships at work when you've heard your boss call a cyclist the R-word.
05:47You know, in some ways, I think ram raiding is kind of like,
05:51that's like the very first carpooling, isn't it?
05:53That's just carpooling with, that's just carpooling with a really brutal arrival.
05:57Yeah.
05:59All right, team two, I also have an answer for you.
06:01What is the question for this one from the last seven days of news?
06:04Six decades.
06:06How long is my wife's quick shower?
06:10How long are some of Josh Thompson's jokes?
06:15There are more sketches, eh, Tomo?
06:17Do one, do one.
06:18Um, oh, okay.
06:23Well, well, well, you know what, you know what?
06:25Maybe, maybe, maybe I'll go home and think of something funny later.
06:28And then you'll all be real sorry when I put it in the group chat.
06:33And I won't have the same sort of presence as if I was in the group chat.
06:35How long were you waiting for Tomo to come up with something funny?
06:39Wow, your own team member.
06:41I know, I don't know what I'm doing.
06:42I don't know what I'm doing.
06:44I'm trying to think about what's been in the news.
06:45It's an election year.
06:47Are they changing the, um, the, the term?
06:50That's a good guess, because it's a pretty hard clue.
06:52Term almost fits in there.
06:54The question is, how long have we operated single-sex state schools in New Zealand?
06:59Oh!
06:59Six decades.
07:00And there are no plans to build any more.
07:01That's the news.
07:02Despite research showing some students, especially girls,
07:04do better without those pesky boys hanging around.
07:07However, scientists do warn that if we do stop having all boys' schools,
07:10we may never be able to create another David Seymour.
07:14Oh!
07:16Bear that in mind.
07:17Big future!
07:19I went to an all-girls school.
07:20Yes.
07:20And it was great.
07:21It was, like, you're not distracted by the boys,
07:23and you don't have to worry when you're just, after sports,
07:25you go into the showers, and you'll take off your clothes,
07:27and soap each other up, and you kiss them.
07:28And then what happens?
07:31And I have to agree as well, because I went to an all-boys school,
07:34and there's, like, nothing wrong with me,
07:35apart from I constantly have to make jokes to hide any sort of emotions
07:37that I might have in case I show any vulnerability
07:39that the other boys can use as ammunition to destroy me
07:41on a fundamental level.
07:43But other than that, I'm fine.
07:45I think it's good to have co-ed schools,
07:47because I think it's important for girls to know, um,
07:49from a young age that men will let them down.
07:52Yeah.
07:54Oh, this front row is not having a bar.
07:56They're like, oh, we're except really nice,
07:59and we treat our women with respect,
08:00and, um, we pay for their tickets to the Warriors, so...
08:05I think the main concern is that, um,
08:07like, people think boys won't be able to concentrate
08:09if there's girls around, which is ridiculous.
08:11Am I right, ladies?
08:14Oh!
08:21You all right?
08:22I'm better.
08:23Better now.
08:25Are you all boys?
08:27I was.
08:28I went to Temeru Boys High School,
08:29but I found a loophole where you could go to Temeru Girls High School
08:32if you took art history.
08:33Oh.
08:34Um, which was great for me,
08:35because obviously, like every other red-blooded teenage boy,
08:37I was very interested in how Giotto got his intense colours
08:40in his Scroveni Chapel frescoes.
08:44But I was also quite interested in...
08:49All right, we'll wrap it up there.
08:51Uh, points now.
08:52Uh, team one, you can have, uh, four.
08:54That's the number of goals for the all-whites versus Chile on Monday night.
08:56First time we've beaten any South American football team.
08:58Great stuff.
08:59Team Two, $68 million.
09:01That's the price, uh, Kiwi company Allbirds sold for this week.
09:04It was once valued at about $7 billion.
09:07Uh, it's crashed quite a bit,
09:08but still, that's not a bad payoff.
09:10Means a star for Newsmakers goes to Team Two.
09:17And stars aren't just the annoying, blinky things in the sky each night.
09:20They are currency on this show.
09:21The team with the most stars at the end of the episode
09:23wins a truly topical prize.
09:25I'm going to show it to you now.
09:26There it is.
09:27Uh, found this guy snooping around my garden,
09:31trying to give chocolate to my kids,
09:32so I grabbed whatever I had, uh, on hand,
09:34tied him up, threw him in the back of the ute,
09:35and brought him here.
09:36He's now our winning team's problem.
09:38So, uh, that is your prize.
09:39That's what you'll be taking home.
09:40So that's what gave you the hickey.
09:41Yeah, that's...
09:44All right, time to give you your ears a festive Easter treat
09:46with a round of Slice of Seven.
09:48Today we're joined by Auckland pop rock band, Where's Jai?
09:54All right, uh, Where's Jai?
09:56I'm going to play you a song, Team One.
09:57It's a song about the news.
09:58You need to decipher what story they're singing about.
10:01Are you ready?
10:01Heck yeah, baby.
10:03Then go.
10:13Yeah.
10:14It's the song for the music.
10:17That's it.
10:18They're all about the music.
10:26It's a song for me to tell you.
10:30It's a song for me to follow you.
10:33I've heard you tell me the song.
10:38Next song, take a twirl, not my church and miss flea.
10:43Wish you nailed all the grocery rides.
10:48Famous and numpa-lumpa.
10:52I know they'll be in jail sooner.
10:57I hope they can die of these days.
11:09Wow.
11:12That was great. Thank you, Wiz, Jo. That's awesome.
11:14There he is. He's there. It's fantastic.
11:17The last word I heard was diabetes.
11:19And there was a truck full of choc.
11:21There was a truck full of choc and all I could think about was Josh.
11:25That was my stripper name for one day.
11:28And to be fair, you did like to back that thing up.
11:34Yeah, what is there? A choc full of choc, some sort of get diabetes.
11:39The heist?
11:40Mugging an oompa-loompa.
11:41Yeah, there was a heist. Wasn't there something to do with Kit Kats?
11:43Like, pizza Kit Kats were stolen?
11:46Yeah, like an absurd amount of Kit Kats were stolen in like a...
11:49Like, Italy. I think it was Italy.
11:51Close enough. Scandal on the streets of Europe.
11:53A truck containing 12 tonnes of Kit Kat chocolate bars
11:56was stolen while travelling from its production facility in Italy
11:59to a distribution plant in Poland.
12:01Classic criminals. Up to their old twix.
12:06Yeah, I have heard, you know, stealing a Kit Kat
12:10and it can be pretty hard. Like, it's no picnic.
12:15They're really made out with a huge bounty.
12:20Crunchies are nice.
12:24So they took tonnes of Kit Kats.
12:26There was actually one tonne of Turkish delights in there as well, though,
12:29but they just left those.
12:31Yeah.
12:32You've got to steal a lot of Kit Kats to make money
12:34because I think the street value of this hall
12:36was about $1.2 million.
12:38Oh, okay.
12:39$2.5 million if you sell them in a petrol station.
12:43Conno, what were you saying about the Kit Kat heist?
12:45Oh, well, I mean, you know, like...
12:49He's so distracted having two women on the team, I tell you.
12:51Doesn't he?
12:53Well, it's funny you say that
12:54because apparently the offenders were women
12:56because their pronouns were her, she.
13:02Yeah, that's good. That's good.
13:05Alright, team two, your turn now.
13:07What is Where's Jai singing about here?
13:09Take it away.
13:10I...
13:16I've been tender, it's time to get started.
13:23But who wants to look through losers to find love?
13:31Meeting someone in a bar's getting out of her.
13:39We'll choose the loved one's face
13:42On their selfie face
13:47Scan my phone, no need to swipe right
13:51Found real love from my pink-a-pair tire
13:58Anchor to the algorithm
14:02My soulmate faced upon the house
14:05Go scan my pics to find my little Romeo
14:13I hope it's an Articario
14:24Tinder was mentioned a lot. Yeah.
14:27I know this. Do you know what I did recently
14:29as I extended the age range on my Tinder?
14:31Mm-hmm.
14:32Quite fast.
14:34I hope you went older, not younger, by the way.
14:37Yep.
14:41No, no, no. I know this.
14:46Tinder is doing...
14:47They're adding this awful feature
14:49where they're going to access your camera roll,
14:52go through it and find out kind of what you're into
14:55and then match people that way.
14:57So for me, it'll be like hair-thinning people who love jibboard.
15:02Yeah, that's right.
15:03Yeah, bang on, Hayley, Dating App,
15:05Tinder have released a new feature that will scan your camera roll
15:07to get a better sense of your personality,
15:09all in order to help you find your next partner.
15:12I mean, if I did this, I'd get paired up with someone
15:13who likes comedy and golf, and that's you, Paul.
15:17It must be awful, you know, for the younger people out there
15:20at this age of Tinder, Tinder, whatever, like...
15:22Because, yeah, you go out and there's a...
15:24Well, it's all just sort of available people
15:26looking to hook up now for casual sex
15:29as much as you want.
15:30No thanks. Yuck, no doubt.
15:33And you can filter it down, I hear,
15:35to whatever sort of niche interests you're into.
15:37You don't have to build up a relationship last years and years
15:39before you finally say, wrap me up in tinfoil
15:41and light me on a bed of vegetables.
15:42Yeah.
15:42Whatever.
15:44Do you know what a bear cam chicken is, if anyone...
15:48It is looking at more than that.
15:50It's also looking at your music library,
15:52and I listen to a lot of show tunes,
15:54so that is not finding me a husband.
15:56All right, you can and should check out
15:59Where's Jai's debut album, Fresh Out of Air,
16:01on your favourite audio streaming platform, or ASP.
16:05Find them on the socials.
16:07There's even a... Yeah, I know, I've killed it.
16:08There's even a new single, Turn It Up,
16:10out later this month.
16:11Give it up one more time for Where's Jai.
16:20Team One, you can have 82.
16:22That's the number of PGA golfing victories
16:24Tiger Woods has had,
16:25just in case you now mistake him
16:27for a guy who constantly rolls cars.
16:29He has had some wins.
16:30Team Two, $29.90.
16:32That is the new living wage as of yesterday.
16:34The minimum wage, though,
16:35which employers are legally required to pay,
16:37only $23.95.
16:38That means Team One gets the star.
16:40Well done, Team One.
16:43All right, the ads are anon.
16:44But first, it's the Burger Fuel Brain Grill for Team One.
16:48We are heading back to 1981
16:49to test your knowledge before you were born,
16:52apart from Paul.
16:53All right.
16:54Have a look at this one, Team One.
16:56There's a clip.
16:57Tell me what's going on.
16:57Let me just tell you what I think about it.
16:59I think it was a disgraceful performance
17:01and I think it should never be permitted to happen again.
17:04I think it was a very poor performance.
17:06One of the worst things I have ever seen.
17:10Well, I think he's just talking about his hairdresser.
17:15Maybe 1980...
17:16Well, is it...
17:17It's got to be...
17:18Well, cricket.
17:19What is it?
17:19Well, it's...
17:20I mean...
17:21You know, it's...
17:22It's the underarm bowl.
17:24Oh, it's the underarm bowl for sure.
17:25It's the...
17:26I love how you think I know about sport.
17:29No, Dave, one.
17:30It's Richie Beno.
17:32Even I knew that one.
17:33Oh, did you?
17:34You date one guy who likes cricket
17:36and suddenly your head's full of shit.
17:38It's...
17:38Oh, you're dead right.
17:43Yeah, you're dead right, Tony.
17:46Well done.
17:46That was Richie Beno,
17:47one of the most impersonated cricket commentators
17:49and newsreaders,
17:50giving a very accurate reckon
17:51on the disgusting underarm cricket bowl
17:53where evil Australian Trevor Chappell
17:54cowardly bowled underarm to heroic Kiwi,
17:58Brian McKechnie,
17:58preventing him from hitting the six runs needed
18:00to tie the game.
18:01After that, Australia learned their lesson
18:03and never cheated at sport again.
18:06Time for us to have a break.
18:07Don't disappear because when we come back
18:09we're heading to the warm waters
18:10of Club Topicana.
18:22Like Jesus on Easter Sunday,
18:24we are back.
18:25Unlike Jesus,
18:25we're not going to walk on the water,
18:27we're going to swim in it.
18:27Head on down to Club Topicana,
18:29play the steel drums.
18:41Lovely conga slash centipede.
18:45Club Topicana is brought to you
18:46by the pinnacle providers of Pineapple's Dole.
18:48Pineapple, the vegan's hand grenade.
18:50Inside this taste explosion,
18:52some stories from the week
18:54that got my attention
18:55I want to hear a little more about.
18:56Let's crack into it with our first one.
18:58Here we go.
18:59Alright, bit of pineapple on that.
19:01Tova O'Brien had her first day
19:03on Breakfast TV this week.
19:04I normally sleep in long
19:05after morning TV is over.
19:06So what's it like?
19:07Show me some unlikely scenes
19:09from Breakfast TV, please.
19:13Hello and welcome to the Breakfast News,
19:15where we update you with everything
19:17you saw on your phone
19:18before you went to bed last night.
19:24Oh, what are we rustling up
19:25in the kitchen today, Sarah?
19:27What are you cooking?
19:28Oh, meth.
19:36Oh, rise and shine, motherfuckers.
19:38Can't pay the f***ing DM.
19:39Let's get into the f***ing news.
19:41I'm John Campbell.
19:47And this morning on the weather,
19:51honestly, it's just too dark to tell.
19:57Oh.
19:58It's not going to be worth it.
19:59It's not going to be worth it.
20:00Okay, okay, okay.
20:04Oh.
20:05Oh, we just came back
20:06a bit sooner than I thought.
20:07Thank you to Springbrook School
20:09for that wonderful recital.
20:10I'll be back at the couch
20:11right after I flush.
20:12Ha!
20:26So, this morning, we will be interviewing
20:28Christopher Luxon.
20:29And while we interview him,
20:31he will be sitting on a dunk tank.
20:33Now, if he refers to himself
20:34as a CEO instead of the Prime Minister,
20:37he will be going in the water.
20:43Yeah, hi, we're the stand-ins
20:44for Chris Luxon.
20:51So, I actually can't swim,
20:53so can you not dunk me?
20:55Oh, I know you guys.
20:56You used to run a hairline.
21:04All right, and time
21:06for the morning aerobics.
21:07Oh, no, no, no.
21:08I won't be joining in.
21:09I'll just watch.
21:11LAUGHTER
21:15LAUGHTER
21:29I'm finished.
21:30LAUGHTER
21:31LAUGHTER
21:34Kia ora, good morning.
21:35Welcome to Breakfast TV.
21:36They said they'd never have
21:37two female hosts.
21:38They said we'd bicker and fight.
21:40Yeah.
21:40Which we wouldn't.
21:41No!
21:41It's so crazy.
21:42Which is absolutely easy.
21:44Yeah, it's funny.
21:47I'm just here to watch.
21:49LAUGHTER
21:51LAUGHTER
21:52Right, back to the pineapple
21:54for our next story.
21:56Great work, teams.
21:57This week, the Otago Golf Club's
21:59Women's Championship
22:00was won by a 10-year-old.
22:02Congratulations to you.
22:04But how young can these
22:05sports stars get?
22:06Let's find out.
22:07Show me some examples of toddlers
22:09playing professional sport, please.
22:11LAUGHTER
22:12LAUGHTER
22:14Well, it was a great game
22:16out there today, Jonesy.
22:17What did you think of the team?
22:21LAUGHTER
22:23Could you not...
22:24Could you not lick the microphone, please?
22:27LAUGHTER
22:29I'm hungry.
22:33LAUGHTER
22:39I'm not telling you to wear a bib
22:41cos I think you're a baby.
22:42I know you're not a baby.
22:43I'm saying wear the bib
22:44cos it's part of the netball uniform.
22:47You're a wing attack.
22:52LAUGHTER
22:52LAUGHTER
22:54Schumacher, leading the field,
22:56has pulled into the pit stop
22:57for a quick change.
22:58Oh, no, he wants to do up
23:00with his own buckles.
23:03LAUGHTER
23:06LAUGHTER
23:06LAUGHTER
23:08LAUGHTER
23:09LAUGHTER
23:10All right, team,
23:10huddle up, huddle up, huddle up,
23:12huddle up, huddle up, huddle up.
23:12Great game, great game.
23:13We're going to keep on playing
23:14with all this hustle.
23:14I'm loving it, I'm loving it.
23:15Let's rehydrate.
23:18LAUGHTER
23:19LAUGHTER
23:19APPLAUSE
23:21Good stuff.
23:23LAUGHTER
23:25She's done.
23:25Here we go.
23:26Good stuff.
23:27Get out there!
23:28LAUGHTER
23:30Back to our pineapple we go
23:31for our next story.
23:32Oh, oh, oh.
23:34Well, no, you would stay on that one then.
23:36Toddlers playing professional sports.
23:38This better be f***ing good.
23:40LAUGHTER
23:42It's really not.
23:44LAUGHTER
23:46LAUGHTER
23:46And America's Tommy Tippi Cup
23:49is now New Zealand's Tommy Tippi Cup!
23:56Worth it.
23:57APPLAUSE
24:00Ah, so glad I didn't go to the pineapple.
24:03Here we go.
24:04New research suggests having your pet dog
24:06sleep in your bed overnight can be good,
24:08but why just dogs?
24:10Why can't we live with all creatures,
24:11great and small?
24:12Give me some examples of animal flatmates, please.
24:15Hey, man, I'm home!
24:16Oh, my God, you're not going to believe
24:18who I saw at the shops.
24:20Who?
24:21LAUGHTER
24:28Jim, there's someone at the flap for you.
24:31LAUGHTER
24:32LAUGHTER
24:38G'day, mittens.
24:39Good day.
24:39I made us a coffee.
24:40You want a coffee?
24:41Cheers, mate.
24:41Yeah.
24:44LAUGHTER
24:48Yep, flat dinner's almost ready.
24:50I'm worried it's going to be a little bit spicy.
24:52Would you mind being the guinea pig?
24:55LAUGHTER
24:57LAUGHTER
24:58LAUGHTER
25:02LAUGHTER
25:02Who pooped in the lounge?
25:05Because it smells amazing.
25:07LAUGHTER
25:09LAUGHTER
25:11Someone's had a busy day.
25:13LAUGHTER
25:14LAUGHTER
25:14All right, some April Fool's prankster
25:16has put a fake shark fin in the water.
25:17It's time to wrap it up.
25:18Play the steel drums.
25:20Sit down.
25:20Bow.
25:22That wasn't even a sentence.
25:25LAUGHTER
25:27LAUGHTER
25:30APPLAUSE
25:30Uh, points for, uh, Club Topicana.
25:33You can have three.
25:34The number of cheeses in the new burger for your
25:35Parmageddon burger came out yesterday.
25:37You got your cheddar, mascarpone,
25:39and Parmesan cheese.
25:40Uh, team two, you're going to have the price
25:41a bottle of wine sold for on the weekend.
25:43New world record, $1.4 million in New Zealand money.
25:47Uh, 1945 Domaine de la Reine Conti.
25:50Go nicely with the Parmageddon burger, I think.
25:52LAUGHTER
25:52Good news, team two, you get another star.
25:54Well done.
25:55CHEERING
25:57APPLAUSE
25:59Uh, staying with you, team two,
26:00need your focus, your time for the burger
26:02fuel brain grill.
26:02I've got a picture for you from 1981.
26:04What is happening here?
26:05Ooh.
26:06It's quite hard to tell that she killed you
26:08because that photo's quite crowded.
26:10LAUGHTER
26:11It's really good.
26:13It's just, um...
26:14Mr Corbett, your replacement wives have arrived.
26:17LAUGHTER
26:17LAUGHTER
26:19LAUGHTER
26:19A Lady Di Lookalike Competition is from 1981,
26:22the year of the royal wedding
26:23between Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer.
26:25It was quite a wedding, wasn't it?
26:26It was.
26:26Diana becoming a household name
26:28and something of a style icon to people
26:29throughout the world.
26:30A fairytale wedding,
26:31both Charles and Diana lived happily ever after.
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35Let's head backstage for a break.
26:37Don't disappear, though,
26:37because surely we're jumping back
26:38into the DeLorean for a game of history
26:40here on Seven Days.
26:42CHEERING
26:53Welcome back to Seven Days, Hughie.
26:55Thanks for sticking with us.
26:57April the 1st yesterday,
26:58so we thought we'd try and fool our panellists
27:00with a round of history.
27:01Teams, point your faces at your screens
27:04and let's peer back through the mists of time.
27:07A faked volcanic eruption in Auckland's inactive Rangitoto Island
27:10has sparked a debate about the impact
27:12and appropriateness of guerrilla-style marketing
27:14or publicity stunts.
27:15This is how you get on TV.
27:20Stage a fake eruption to hijack the media,
27:23spreading the word about your new internet venture.
27:25But the Department of Conservation isn't laughing.
27:28Rangitoto just erupted.
27:32And all of a sudden, Rangitoto Island started to erupt.
27:36Woo-hoo!
27:37Yeah!
27:45Oh, we're glad people can have a bit of a pretty smile about it
27:48and a laugh, you know.
27:54That was an April Fool's slash marketing stunt back in 2007.
27:59Group of larrikins pranked Auckland into thinking Rangitoto was erupting.
28:02You saw ex-all-black Mark Ellis in there in the clip.
28:05The group also included former sports cafe human cannonball Ben Hickey.
28:10Ben joins us tonight.
28:12Teams, your job is to guess which of these fine gentlemen before you is Ben.
28:15Also in the line-up are a small business owner,
28:18an art director and a drummer.
28:20Team two, you're going to begin this evening.
28:23Larrikins.
28:24Larrikins?
28:25Larrikins on Rangitoto.
28:26Can I do things to them?
28:31Sorry, guys.
28:32No, no, no.
28:33Stop me.
28:33You know that.
28:34But, yeah.
28:35Well, no, I am a...
28:36We used to be a drummer and, like, you develop quite a strong left calf muscle riding the
28:40hi-hat.
28:41So is it OK if I just do a quick inspection of the calf?
28:44Is that all right?
28:45Yeah.
28:45OK.
28:45Ah, he talked!
28:46OK, OK.
28:47There we go.
28:48What if he's right-footed?
28:50OK.
28:50But that would be on the kick, so it's...
28:52Oh.
28:53Cool.
28:55What'd you figure out over there, Tomo?
28:57Please don't go...
29:01Did that tell you anything?
29:03About what?
29:09OK.
29:09I also used to play drums.
29:12I would just like to go down the line and get them to hold a beat.
29:15OK.
29:15Sure, yes, nice.
29:16Number one, just give us a simple clap and hold the beat.
29:19Well, you go.
29:22Oh!
29:22Not the drummer.
29:23Not the drummer.
29:24OK.
29:25He's a salsa dancer.
29:26I didn't ask for a flamingo, bro.
29:29Number two, just give us a nice steady beat.
29:33Oh.
29:34Oh.
29:36Ah, Mickey, you're so fun, you're so fun, you're blumber.
29:38Mickey.
29:39It's a potential drummer.
29:41Yeah, yeah.
29:42Syncopation there, number three.
29:44Ah.
29:45Oh.
29:46Yeah.
29:47That's our drummer.
29:48Number four, just for fun.
29:49No.
29:52Not quite my tempo, my friend.
29:55Number three's definitely our drummer.
29:57OK.
29:57He was very impressive.
29:58Number one's quite arty farty with the floral shirt.
30:00Mm-hmm.
30:01Mm.
30:01Number four feels like, I feel like I recognise his face the most from that.
30:07I think he's Mark Ellis.
30:08So I, no.
30:10We're not identifying Mark Ellis.
30:12Mark Ellis looks like Mark Ellis, but he was the other larrikin.
30:14Oh, OK.
30:14My guess would be, art director, small business owner at number two.
30:18I haven't really asked him many questions, but he's wearing a tapered jean.
30:22Number three's our drummer with the impressive syncopation.
30:24Number four's our larrikin.
30:25Do you agree?
30:26Love that.
30:27OK, locked in.
30:28Team two thinks it's number four.
30:29Thinks Ben Hickey's number four.
30:30Team one, your turn.
30:31As I was watching the video, I was like, OK, we've got men in their 30s, so now we'll
30:35be looking for sort of a middle-aged man.
30:38Mm.
30:38Shit.
30:42So, one of them is a small business owner, so which one looks like he has heaps of time
30:46on his hands?
30:48To be fair, one's an art director, so they've all got a lot of time on their hands.
30:53And one's the drummer, so he's got timing on his hands.
30:56Yes.
30:58Well, one of them was also the human cannonball on Sports Cafe, they said.
31:03So, could you want us put your hands in the air as if you are being a cannonball?
31:06Oh.
31:09Great cannonball.
31:09Oh, that's like the YMCA.
31:13OK, no, that was good.
31:14No, that was good, though.
31:15I think number two had, like, he actually was bracing, like, his heart.
31:19These guys went for the dive, which, if you've ever been in a human cannonball, that's absolutely
31:22ridiculous.
31:22I think number two could be the cannonball based on the hands alone.
31:26OK, yeah.
31:27But, I mean, that's, you know, that's just expert to expert.
31:29Sure, sure, sure.
31:31OK, so, which one do you think is the...
31:33I think number two's the cannonball who lit the mountain on fire.
31:37Fancy shirt, art director, drummer.
31:39Could be, yeah.
31:39Small business owner.
31:40OK, all right.
31:41I'm going to defer to Tony because he's just whining on about it.
31:44Yeah.
31:46All right.
31:47So, team one, you think Ben is number two.
31:49Team two, you think Ben is number four.
31:51Can I ask Ben Hickey, who in 2007, along with Mark Ellis, tricked everyone into thinking
31:55Ranga Toto was erupting.
31:57To step forward, please.
31:59Oh!
32:01Oh!
32:08Thanks for joining us, Ben.
32:10The big question, of course, is Tony right?
32:12Is that the correct arms for a cannonball?
32:14Absolutely, Tony.
32:15See?
32:16That's one professional to another.
32:19If you're going to fly into the sky...
32:21Yeah.
32:22Aerodynamics and landing, you are there.
32:25Ah.
32:25I'd like to get on to the sports cafe cannonball situation, but first, the footage that we
32:30just saw there, talk me through it.
32:32How did it come about?
32:34Well, I was trying to launch a new venture.
32:36Right.
32:37Went to Mark Ellis and said, mate, I need some money.
32:41Can you help?
32:42Kind of heard a bit more about it, his eyes lit up a bit, and he went, I'm in.
32:46One condition.
32:47I said, what's that, mate?
32:48He goes, we're going to blow up Ranga Toto for the launch.
32:51And I said, mate, 100%.
32:54So, okay, so how did you do it?
32:56Was it under the cover of darkness?
32:58And, you know, what chemicals were involved, and were you scared?
33:01Oh, it was a military operation, so we hired a barge.
33:04Yep.
33:04We had done our H2 Hasbro explosives licence.
33:09Hasbro.
33:10It gives us authority to drag three tonnes of explosives each, so we dragged three, nine
33:16tonnes of explosives to the top of Ranga Toto.
33:17What explosives were they?
33:19Phosphorus.
33:19Phosphorus, because of the smoke.
33:21Carbon neutral event.
33:23Right.
33:23Wow.
33:24Which fed the burjling Pahutakawa forester on Ranga Toto.
33:28Right.
33:29Killed it.
33:30Yeah.
33:31Whatever.
33:32Yeah.
33:32It's being fed on fire.
33:33And so, and what was the moment where you got the biggest buzz?
33:37Like, what, we saw the lighting up and all the rest of it?
33:39Because that would have been early morning, I guess.
33:41Yeah, it took all night.
33:43So we went over eight o'clock in the middle of darkness, head torches.
33:46We had a little four-wheel drive, which got us to the top of the mountain.
33:49It was a very organised affair.
33:51We had about ten pods of ten 44-gallon drubs.
33:54Detonated the first one.
33:56And then it was about, you know, the intensity was way bigger than we thought.
34:04That's a phrase it's been said.
34:06What they hadn't told us...
34:07They didn't cover that in the licence?
34:09No, no.
34:10What they hadn't told us was they can self-combust.
34:13Oh.
34:14So for safety reasons, on the other 80, 44-gallon drums, we had the lids on.
34:19And when they started self-combusting, these lids were flying around like killer frisbees.
34:23Oh.
34:24So when we're diving for our lives, it was like, I don't know if this is such a good idea.
34:29But you did get a lot of grief, didn't you, the feedback?
34:32Did that surprise you?
34:33No, that's what we're after.
34:34Well, people were afraid for your life.
34:35We were hoping to get arrested.
34:37That was the...
34:37Oh.
34:38We wanted more press we could get out of it.
34:40Yeah, Mark managed to get arrested for another thing, but anyway.
34:46Because a lot of adrenaline, right?
34:48You just blow up this volcano and we get back to the mainland expecting the police to be there.
34:52And there's no police.
34:52It's like, oh, what do we have to do?
34:55Yeah.
34:56So you robbed a liquor store.
34:59Anyway, after a few days' dock, they were very disappointed.
35:04And in lieu of pressing charges, they made us plant mototapu out for three weekends in a row.
35:10Right.
35:11And did financial reparations too.
35:13I think Mark chipped in.
35:14No.
35:16All right, give it up for Ben Hickey.
35:18Blew up Ranga Tauru.
35:19Thank you, Ben.
35:22So, well done, Team C.
35:23Let's find out the rest.
35:24Can our small business owner step forward, please?
35:26Yeah.
35:26Well done.
35:27On the fourth, our art director.
35:30Where are you?
35:30At the end.
35:31And our drummer.
35:33Yes.
35:33None of us.
35:36Well done, Team 1.
35:37Four for four.
35:38The star is yours.
35:40Good work.
35:42All right, time for a break.
35:42But stick around.
35:43We'll have the best Easter treat for all after the break.
35:46A brand new round of Jeremy's Special Game.
35:48I can't wait.
35:49See you soon.
36:01You are back with seven days.
36:03Good on you.
36:03Just in time for my favourite round, which people in the biz are calling Jeremy's Special Game.
36:08Because that's its name.
36:09This week we're playing Easter week, the news, where the teams have to answer questions based
36:12on a compilation of clips.
36:14Some testing their memory and attention to detail.
36:17Now, in order to answer questions that I'll ask afterwards, you need to make a noise with
36:21your chosen...
36:22You can have...
36:22That is a vibra-slap.
36:24No, you hold it like this.
36:26You hit that thing.
36:27There you go.
36:27No, hold this bit.
36:29Hold the nozzle.
36:29The handle.
36:30Don't go.
36:32Didn't have enough vibra-slap, so someone gets the agogo block.
36:35Oh, I'll tell you.
36:35I think I'm better at the mark.
36:37Team one, you're all triangles.
36:39We get scrap metal and they get triangles?
36:42It's a vibra-slap.
36:43I've already got one of those and this is not how you use it.
36:46Hold it like this.
36:48That's how I do.
36:49I always whack it like that.
36:51I think I might have one of these.
36:55The front and the back.
36:57So, here we go.
36:58I need your eyes on the screens.
37:00I'm going to ask you questions about this rather complex compilation.
37:03Here we go.
37:04We actually had to ditch our interview on this this morning.
37:07There's probably some other drugs involved.
37:10What makes you trust them?
37:11I don't trust anybody.
37:13I don't trust you.
37:13No, we want to keep this simple and clear and we're conscious that that can make things
37:18very confusing.
37:19China's ambitions are sky high and says it will get humans to the moon by 2030.
37:25We're looking at a stupid idea that Stu had about five years ago.
37:29It's known as a tax haven and a millionaire's playground.
37:34The ribbon cut by two Kenchabry leads.
37:37And then once you've got a good old mix, you would spoon it into a muffin tin.
37:40Just hold our muffins up.
37:41Arnold Schwarzenegger's son, Joseph Vena, took home top honours at his first competition.
37:48There we go.
37:49Alright, I'm going to ask questions about that clip.
37:51Buzz in using your instrument if you know the answer.
37:53You get a point if you get it right, get it wrong, the other team gets a chance.
37:56Alright, most points at the end of the game gets the star.
37:58Here we go.
37:59In clip two, Tiger Woods is seen after his car crash next to a fire hydrant.
38:03What colour was it?
38:04Hayley.
38:04It was red.
38:06Correct.
38:06You get a point, team two.
38:07Yes.
38:08That's how it works.
38:11In clip six, a car enthusiast is seen wearing a high-vis vest saying his friend had a stupid idea.
38:16What was his friend's name?
38:17Tinkle.
38:18Tony.
38:18Well, it wasn't me, but I'm going to say Darren.
38:20No, it wasn't Darren.
38:21That means you get a free go, team two.
38:24Ray.
38:25No, it was Stu.
38:26Alright.
38:27In clip four, Nicola Willis is addressing the media.
38:29How many other people are on stage with her?
38:31Yes.
38:31A go-go block.
38:32Two others, a sign interpreter and another person.
38:36No one likes a smart-ass, but yes, you're right.
38:39In clip one, Ryan Bridge has seen ad-libbing during an interview.
38:41What letter is behind his head?
38:43Yes, Tony.
38:43That would be the letter H.
38:45Correct.
38:46The Herald.
38:47In clip nine, Prime Minister Chris Luxon has seen cutting the ribbon to Christchurch's new stadium.
38:51What colour is the grass?
38:52A go-go again.
38:54Green.
38:54Yes, it is.
38:55That's a good...
38:57In clip eight, Dan Carter has seen kicking a ball.
39:00Did he look handsome?
39:02Team one.
39:02Hell yeah.
39:05Incorrect.
39:06He was wearing a shirt.
39:08Look at him.
39:09Okay.
39:10In clip three, President Donald Trump is seen berating the media.
39:13Which president is in the portrait behind him?
39:15Oh, no, President.
39:16You photoshopped your stupid face over the top of it.
39:19Let's go to the clip and have a look.
39:20Oh.
39:26I didn't see that.
39:28Wow.
39:29Very good.
39:30We go to clip five now.
39:31China wants to get people to the moon by when?
39:34Yes, Tony.
39:35Again, it wasn't me.
39:37Why do you hit your triangle?
39:38Oh, I fake it because I didn't know.
39:40But Bridget hit.
39:412030.
39:41Let's have a look.
39:42Let's go to the clip.
39:43We've got humans to the moon by 2030.
39:46Correct.
39:46That is absolutely right.
39:47In clip ten, their hosts are seen spooning ingredients into what?
39:51Oh, I think we had a triangle just there.
39:53Yes, was that you, Bridget?
39:54Muffin tin.
39:55Let's have a look.
39:56Was it a muffin tin?
39:57It's spooned into a muffin tin.
40:00In clip seven, Pope Leo is seen riding in his Popemobile while being watched by a lot
40:04of people wearing hats.
40:05What make of car is the Popemobile?
40:07Yes, a go-go block.
40:09Volkswagen.
40:10Volkswagen.
40:10Let's have a look.
40:11It's known as a tax hike.
40:13Mercedes.
40:14Mercedes.
40:15Mercedes.
40:15Mercedes is correct.
40:16You do get a chance.
40:17Team one.
40:18Get it wrong.
40:19It goes to the other team to answer.
40:21You're going to ride after you watch the clip again.
40:22Yes.
40:22I watched the fucking clip.
40:24Yes.
40:24But that's because I screwed up.
40:27All right.
40:28In clip 11, Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is seen winning a bodybuilding competition.
40:32What state is it being held in?
40:34Bridget, you dinged.
40:35Can we say Colorado?
40:37You're going to go with Colorado?
40:38Let's go to Colorado.
40:39See, you have to have a look to find out if they're right or not.
40:41This game is screwed up.
40:43All right.
40:44There you go.
40:44Colorado.
40:45You're correct.
40:47That is good stuff.
40:48That's another point for team one.
40:49That means it's 6-4.
40:51Team one gets the star.
40:54Nearly time for a break, but not before we give you at home the chance to play the Burger Fuel
40:57Brain Grill.
40:58Take a look at this.
41:00Then head to the 7 Days Instagram or Facebook pages.
41:03Let us know your caption.
41:04You're going to be pocketing $100 a burger for yum, yum, yum.
41:07Okay.
41:07Just time to squeeze one more break in.
41:09Before we wrap this episode up, be back in a tick with captions.
41:23Oh, you did it.
41:24You came back.
41:25I love it.
41:26Let's wrap this party up with a game of caption.
41:28That I give the comedians a pretty picture for the week's news.
41:30All they have to do is come up with the appropriate caption.
41:32Team one, you're up first.
41:33Here's your pick.
41:34So, it's Jurassic Park Te Awamuru.
41:38It's men resorting to other creatures rather than a fish in their Tinder profile.
41:44I think this is where Brian Tarmakey gets the skin for his plastic surgery.
41:50Judith Collins shaves off her pubes.
41:54Is this two men off to drain their lizards?
42:00Is it blind rat catchers decimate local lizard population?
42:06Corbett's servants prepare their master's breakfast.
42:10Bring me the iguanas!
42:13How did the lizards not see these guys coming?
42:15Were those vests on?
42:18Is this iguana no one love you?
42:23That is trappers unloading cold, stunned iguanas from the back of a pick-up truck in Hollywood, Florida.
42:29Doesn't explain why, but there you go.
42:31Team one, back to you.
42:32Caption this.
42:33Oh, maybe I shouldn't have been stockpiling petrol in my garage.
42:39Is this a ginger person walking outside on a 20-degree day?
42:44Is it, um, ooh, these indigestion adverts are getting out of control.
42:50This is what happens when you forget to put a glass of water in the microwave when you heat up
42:54a, uh, sack of beans?
42:58What are they called?
42:59Why do you say it like that? A bean bag?
43:00A wheat bag? A wheat bag, yes.
43:02Oh, I've got a sore back. Bring me my sack of beans.
43:05Is it Jeremy Corbett has medium-buttered chicken?
43:13You won't be surprised to hear that is a firefighter walking amidst flames as he fights a 12-hour blaze
43:18at a cardboard recycling plant in Mexico.
43:20Team two, you have a go. What's the caption for this picture?
43:23Oh, this is Llama Mia. Here we go again. Why, why?
43:31Um, woman checks if it's a real threat or a false alarma.
43:37Woman starting to think Labradoodle may not be purebred.
43:41Um, is this the new Bond girl? I'll pack a lot of you in.
43:56That is a handler. Uh, the handler's on the right waiting with their alpaca in the British Alpaca Society National
44:01Show in Stafford in England.
44:03Great round of words and pictures. Thank you, teams.
44:06All that's left to do is announce the winner of the evening.
44:09Let's look at the star chart.
44:10And boy, oh boy, they've done it.
44:13Congratulations.
44:14Team one!
44:20Here is your prize. Thank you.
44:23Take this guy. Take good care of the Easter bunny.
44:25Got a big gig on Saturday night. Don't party too hard on Friday.
44:28Thank you all at home for watching.
44:30And you and our live studio audience, be safe out there this Easter.
44:32Please help me to thank Paul, Bridget, Tony, Hayley, Liv and Josh.
44:36We'll see you on Saturdays on Saturdays.
44:38Marley One.
44:45Thanks, New Zealand on air. I look forward to working with you in the future.
44:48We'll see you there.
44:48And then...
44:49Chris and Kim is nudged.
44:49Cheers.
44:50Cheers.
44:52Cheers.
44:53Cheers.
44:53Cheers.
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