- 6 hours ago
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00:20Okay, we're off to our gig at the elegant, oily nursing home.
00:24Yes, our band has a gig.
00:25Yes, it's at the nursing home.
00:26And yes, it means we have arrived, baby!
00:28Yeah!
00:29So exciting!
00:30Are you still called Busboy and the Cuscarous?
00:32No, Bullboy and the Mashmasters.
00:35Ooh, we play potato mashers.
00:36Uh, those are my potato mash.
00:38Never mind.
00:39Yep.
00:40See, Scram is turning 85, and I hope this crowd's mosh pet friendly,
00:43because the Mashmasters like to mush.
00:46Good gush how we mosh.
00:47Okay, we go now.
00:48Bye-bye.
00:49Bye.
00:49Bye.
00:49Have fun.
00:51Bring my potato mashers back.
00:52Probably gonna throw them to the crowd like drumsticks, so no!
00:55Huh?
00:57This beat is not conventional wisdom.
00:59This is a rhythmical kingdom.
01:00This is additional info.
01:02We take that cash and potato mashers of freedom!
01:05Cuscarous solo.
01:06Thanks, Grandma's favorite instrument.
01:08Take it, Zeke!
01:12Elegant Doily, let me hear you scream!
01:17I love you so freaking much, Grandma!
01:20Mashmasters!
01:22Well, guys, I think we made musical history today.
01:25We knocked their compression socks right off.
01:28Yeah, only a couple people napped during it.
01:30Hey, psst.
01:31Betsy's grandson.
01:32Oh, hey, uh, guy?
01:34Person?
01:34I'm Rusty.
01:35How would you and your friends like to make a quick hundred bucks?
01:38The answer's yes.
01:38Doesn't matter what you say next.
01:40Yeah, we'd love to make a hundred bucks, gentlemen we just met.
01:42Um, not sure about this.
01:45Ah, man!
01:45Me too.
01:46All right, come on, let's go to my room.
01:48Also a perfectly fine thing to say.
01:50So we're all just gonna...
01:51Okay.
01:53What is it?
01:54It's an old prize from Wonder Wharf.
01:57Back when everyone hated kids?
01:58Yeah, well, it wasn't a popular prize.
02:00We named it Koolala, cause he's trying to be cool.
02:03And he's a koala.
02:05Smells like worms.
02:06Okay, here's the deal.
02:07I need you kids to take Koolala and hide them for me.
02:10Hide it where?
02:11Trashcan?
02:12I mean, trashcan might be the right spot.
02:14Have you heard of Carneapolis?
02:16Carneapolis?
02:17It's where the Wonder Wharf carnies live.
02:19So it's like how witches are from Wichita.
02:21Sure.
02:21I want you to hide this there.
02:23You want us to hide that in Carneapolis?
02:26A.K.A. Downton Stabby?
02:27Why?
02:28Well, I used to live in Carneapolis.
02:30Cause of the low property taxes?
02:32No, because I used to be a carne.
02:34Oh.
02:34A long time ago.
02:36Me and some of the other carnies used to hide this for each other to find.
02:39Like a fun little prank war thing.
02:42Well, now that's an adorable thing for carnies to do.
02:44My gosh!
02:45It was.
02:46But then I got my money.
02:47My settlement from when the roller coaster fell on my head.
02:50Ouch.
02:50It was one of the softer parts, but...
02:52Yeah, I moved away and well, I lost touch with those Carneapolis folks.
02:57And then just a few days ago, I was cleaning out some junk and I found this little guy crammed
03:03into my humidifier.
03:04It's been hidden there for ten years.
03:07That explains the smell.
03:08Finding this got me thinking.
03:10It'd be fun to start up our old prank war again, you know?
03:12So, I want you to hide this in Sonny's trailer.
03:16In his kitchen cabinet.
03:17You got it.
03:18Ooh, that's crusty.
03:20Wait, you want us to go inside one of the carnies trailers?
03:23Kinda sounds illegal and terrifying, but seems like no one else has a problem with it, so that's cool.
03:28Cool, cool, cool.
03:29Uh, how do we know which one is Sonny's trailer?
03:31It's red, white, and yellow, and it's by the cigarette garden.
03:33You can grow those?
03:34Eh, it's just a big ashtray.
03:36Anyway, I want photographic evidence that you did the job.
03:40Or else, no dough.
03:41We can use my phone to make a video.
03:43Hot damn!
03:44Look at Jeju, securing that means of production.
03:47Get out, get over here!
03:48Ow, ow, ow, ow!
03:49Hey, ow, my nipple!
03:50Hey, just make sure they don't see you.
03:53Because they'll murder us?
03:54Yes.
03:55Wait, really?
03:55I'm kidding.
03:56Because if we ruin the prank war, you'll probably be fine.
03:59Okay.
04:00Great, love you, bye!
04:02Thanks, Linda.
04:03Somehow, you always know when to refill my cup.
04:05Maybe it was the loud slurping and then you saying,
04:08Done!
04:08Quit spying on me, Mort!
04:10Alright, I gotta hit the head.
04:11That okay, Bob?
04:12Bob, why are you asking me?
04:14I don't know.
04:14I would want you to wonder where I was.
04:16Get all worried.
04:17I would not.
04:18Hi!
04:19Have a seat anywhere.
04:21Here's a short story about the food we serve.
04:23Just kidding, it's a menu.
04:25Ha, ha!
04:29Oh!
04:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:32Teddy, what are you...
04:33Eh...
04:34Shh!
04:34That's my therapist, Dr. Marjorie.
04:37That's Dr. Marjorie?
04:39Are you guys saying Marjorie?
04:41Quiet, Mort!
04:41Why do you have to hide from her, Teddy?
04:43You're never supposed to interact outside the therapist's office.
04:46It's about boundaries.
04:47I saw her at the pharmacy once, and now I go to one that's 20 miles away,
04:50and it's totally fine, even though they have some kind of problem with my insurance inside the park.
04:54So, you're just gonna hide back there until she leaves?
04:57No!
04:57I'm gonna combat crawl to the kitchen and then slip out the back door.
05:01Oh, my God.
05:07Seems pretty empty.
05:08Maybe they're all at Wonderworth and or their carny extracurriculars.
05:11Or at Macy's.
05:12They're always having a sale.
05:14There's a cigarette garden.
05:15This must be Sunny's trailer.
05:17Look at that cute little garden gnome, watching over his crops.
05:20Okay, Zeke and Jimmy Jr., you're on lookout.
05:22You let us know if anyone's coming.
05:24We'll do a warning call.
05:25Jimmy Jr. does an amazing seagull, and I do a passable blue jay.
05:28It's, like, not quite passable, Zeke.
05:32Oh.
05:32Well, we'll just do the seagulling.
05:34I'll work on my blue jay on my own time, I guess.
05:36Dang.
05:37Jimmy Jr., give us your phone.
05:38Okay, the code is $99.99, as in Luftballons.
05:43Double Luftballons.
05:44Okay, people, let's move.
05:48Oh, hello, Bible delivery.
05:51Get them while they're hot.
05:53Seems like no one's home.
05:54Unless he's in there, and he just doesn't need any more Bibles because he's got so many.
05:58Only one way to find out.
05:59Also, I hope the door's not locked.
06:01Oh.
06:01It's a wholesome, trusting community.
06:05Okay, Tina, go ahead.
06:06Hide the koala.
06:07I'm gonna film.
06:08Ugh.
06:10Ugh.
06:12Ugh, the door keeps popping open.
06:14Must be the same company that makes the zipper on Dad's pants.
06:17There.
06:18Gah! Gah!
06:19Gah!
06:19Gah!
06:20Gah!
06:21Oh, crap.
06:21Go, go, go.
06:25Uh, quick, under the trailer.
06:27Why are you here?
06:29You're the lookouts.
06:30They came in from behind us.
06:31Yeah, we're lookouts.
06:32Not look everywhere and all around.
06:34Freaking A, guys.
06:36Look what just fell out of my cupboard.
06:38Okay, he found that pretty fast.
06:40Yeah, no one wanted to listen to my cupboard concerns.
06:42I thought you were just having pantry panic.
06:44Guys, it's fine.
06:45It's an all-in good fun prank war.
06:47If anything, they'll be downright delighted.
06:49Rusty!
06:50Show yourself, you good for nothing, little life bastard!
06:53Ooh, I am so mad right now, I wanna shiv something!
06:57I don't think he's no more delighted.
06:58Oh, my God, we're all gonna get shivved.
07:00It's gonna be a real shiv show.
07:05Rusty!
07:06Show yourself so I can hurt you with violence!
07:09Oh, I have all these emotions, and I don't know what to do with them!
07:12It's good you put words to your feelings, Sonny.
07:15Thank you!
07:15Seeing that thing?
07:16Knowing that Rusty hid it here?
07:18Makes me wanna rip the beating heart out of something!
07:21Anything!
07:23Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
07:24What if we try to sneak by this fun beer bottle collection?
07:28Gee, no!
07:30Hey!
07:31Someone under there?
07:32Nope.
07:33Carry on.
07:34Aha!
07:35Tiny people!
07:36Wait, this isn't the library.
07:38Ha!
07:39Now, we're gonna have a little chat.
07:41You know, we're actually, um, friends with one of your compatriots.
07:44Mickey?
07:45Is he here?
07:46Mickey!
07:46Nope!
07:47Yeah, he's doing the being in jail thing that he sometimes does.
07:51Crap!
07:51Damn it!
07:52So what?
07:52You work for Rusty?
07:54What are you, his little oompa loompas?
07:56Flattered!
07:56We barely know him, okay?
07:58We only did this because he paid us.
08:00And we only let him pay us because we like receiving money.
08:02Why are you so mad at him, anyway?
08:04For your information, we used to be friends.
08:07Best friends.
08:08We called ourselves the Karn Dog.
08:10Cause we would eat the leftover corn dogs after the wharf closed for the night.
08:13That's not sad.
08:14We even made Karn Dog tank tops.
08:17Oh, I just got it, Karn.
08:20So, yeah, then we got into hiding the freaky koala back and forth.
08:23But then Rusty got his settlement and he became like a different person.
08:27All of a sudden it's, I want to eat corn dogs that aren't old.
08:31I want to use soap.
08:32I've got a humidifier now.
08:34That son of a bitch.
08:36And then he moved out to some fancy apartment with a little room that's just for clothes.
08:41I think it's called a clothes set.
08:43But the kicker was, about ten years ago, I had a heart attack.
08:46And that punk never once visited me in the hospital.
08:49He didn't even send me a shiny balloon or a nice greeting card to play music.
08:53Well, clearly we are on the wrong side.
08:56Thank you for straightening that all out.
08:58And now we're gonna scoot and let you enjoy the rest of your day.
09:01Whoa, I'm getting an idea.
09:03Corn dogs?
09:04No. Later.
09:05You kids are gonna do something for us.
09:09What's she doing now?
09:10She just got her food.
09:12Why don't you just leave? That was your plan, remember?
09:14I know, but then I was curious about what she was gonna order.
09:17How was she doing?
09:18I don't know, Teddy. Probably eating her...
09:20Oh.
09:21Oh.
09:22What? What's happening?
09:23She's kinda taking the whole burger apart and laying it out weirdly on the plate.
09:28What?
09:29Now she's sticking her fork in the patty and picking it up.
09:32Like a lollipop?
09:33She's turning the fork and eating around the edges.
09:36What the? My derp is eats like a toddler?
09:39Like a strange toddler.
09:40What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?
09:42You guys want us to go back to the nursing home and hide Kuala in Rusty's room?
09:47What? Like prank him back?
09:48No, no, no. Prank wars are for friends only.
09:51This is to send him a message that we're done with him forever.
09:55He's dead to us.
09:56You mean...
09:57Spaghetti?
09:58Yeah. We cold spaghetti him.
10:01Oh, boy.
10:02Cold spaghetti him?
10:04When a carny has broken all trust, when he or she has sunk so low that they're not worthy of
10:10your violent wrath, they get the spaghetti.
10:13Why spaghetti?
10:14I don't understand the question.
10:16Okay, never mind. But maybe instead you could just talk to each other?
10:19Tina, there's no talking in a cold spaghetti situation. Look, we want to do this for you. But, um, what
10:25if we offered you the opportunity to pay us to do it?
10:28Unless that makes you mad.
10:29What about a roll of Wonder Wharf tickets that we totally are allowed to take home and have?
10:35Yeah!
10:36Oh, hell yeah!
10:37Now let's make some spaghetti and put it in a co-order.
10:40How many times do you think the Barefoot Contessa has said that?
10:43Man, we're like double agents, working both sides, trying not to lose ourselves. Conflicted.
10:50Yeah!
10:51How the hell are we supposed to get Rusty out of his room?
10:53Oh, there he is.
10:54Pudding Social.
10:55Boy, birthday cake and pudding in one day? These old people are gonna be bouncing off the walls!
10:59Okay, here's the plan. We'll show Rusty the video, get our hundred bucks, and you guys distract him while Jeannie
11:04and I take Jimmy Jr.'s phone and go film ourselves hiding the koala in his room.
11:08Maybe I'll ask him if stuff is different now than how it used to be.
11:11I'd be curious about that.
11:14And there's me putting the koala very successfully into the cupboard.
11:18The cupboard door keeps opening.
11:19No, it just looks like that.
11:20Okay, great. Well, service is rendered. If you wanna just pay my sister here.
11:24Whew, this pudding is going right through me. Jean, too, probably. Let's go find the bathroom, huh, buddy?
11:29Uh, yup. Like I say, you don't buy nursing home pudding. You just rent it.
11:34So, Rusty, wanna get out your wallet? Or a sack with a dollar sign on it? I'm not sure how
11:39people your age carry money around.
11:40Oh, I have my wallet in my room. Should we go get it?
11:43No! I mean, it's just, uh...
11:45It's just we're all having such a good time at the pudding social.
11:48That's pudding it, Miles Lee.
11:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:53Yeah, that's funny. Okay, you kids stay here and I'll go get my wallet and come back.
11:58Oh, uh...
11:59Wait, Rusty, I read a song about you. Here it goes.
12:05I sure do love that sound.
12:08Thanks, Grandma.
12:09Damn it.
12:10Here comes Rusty to get his wallet because it's in his room. Just, uh, shouting that out cause it's fun.
12:15What are you guys doing?
12:16Well, uh, we were on our way to the bathroom and then we were like, pfft, life's too short, you
12:23know?
12:23And we've been partying in here ever since.
12:25Whoa, whoa, hey, where are you, where are you going?
12:28Oh my goodness, another weird koala? How did that get there?
12:33They had you do this? I can't believe it. I've been cold-spaghettied.
12:38Better than being paparadeli-ed?
12:44They cold-spaghettied me. The sons of bitches cold-spaghettied me.
12:48Yeah. Um, so, is this a good time to ask again about that money?
12:54Yeah.
12:55Judging by your sad face and your long, weird sigh, maybe we'll circle back?
13:00Mm-mm, mm-mm.
13:01You know, I'm just learning the inner workings of this beginning process, but it seems like you kind of deserved
13:06it.
13:07Okay, sure, the settlement money made me kind of snobby.
13:10I was buying all sorts of toiletries and I bragged about my humidifier quite a bit.
13:15Yeah, I guess they didn't like that.
13:16But also, Sonny said you didn't go visit him in the hospital after his heart attack.
13:20And you didn't send anything, not even a jib-jab.
13:23I know, I know, I didn't go. Things had gotten weird.
13:26I didn't think they'd want me there.
13:27The rich guy with the clothes set?
13:29I think it's closet.
13:30What? But it's the thing you put your clothes in.
13:33Okay, yep.
13:34But Rusty, your BFF had an H attack and you did nothing?
13:37Well, I paid for his medical bills.
13:40Oh. Oh.
13:40Really?
13:41Wow, seems like something you should tell the guy.
13:43I'm just thinking out loud here.
13:44I mean, I was sort of hoping the hospital would call him and say,
13:47congratulations, your humble, generous estranged buddy paid for all your stuff.
13:52Then I had my own health issues to deal with and, well, time passed.
13:57And you were hoping that starting up the prank war would get you guys to be friends again?
14:01Yeah, but I guess not.
14:03Maybe when I die, they'll finally miss me.
14:05Huh. Maybe that is what you have to do.
14:08What? Die?
14:08Make him think you died. You have a fake funeral.
14:12Huh?
14:12Yeah, the more I think about it, fake funeral's the only way.
14:15Well, I don't know about the only way.
14:17No, no, no. It's the only way.
14:18Oh.
14:18Let the emotions pour out and the healing begin.
14:21And if the good feelings make everyone want to give us a hundred bucks and maybe some Wonder Wharf tickets,
14:26so be it. Rusty, you in?
14:28Eh, what the hell? What else am I doing?
14:30Well, looks like you have cataract surgery coming up later this month, so that's something.
14:35Mm.
14:36You want to have a fake funeral?
14:39Yeah.
14:40People always think a fake funeral's gonna fix everything.
14:43And they're always right?
14:44Fine, I'll do it.
14:45You will?
14:45Yeah, it's a slow week, but just as long as he doesn't jump out at some point and say,
14:50I'm alive! That's my ground rule, okay?
14:52Yeah, all right.
14:53Okay.
14:54It reflects poorly on a mortuary.
14:56A business only gets so many of those before people start to lose trust.
15:00Now, do you have a picture of the gentleman?
15:01Yep.
15:03Oof.
15:04He's not dead?
15:06Maybe this guy would be a good therapist.
15:08Never mind.
15:09I don't like the way he's holding his pen.
15:11Like he's already disappointed in me.
15:12And this lady's wearing like seven necklaces.
15:15This is hopeless.
15:16Teddy, I really don't think you need a new therapist.
15:19Yeah, maybe I don't need a therapist at all.
15:21Well, I didn't say that.
15:23Plus I have you guys.
15:25I'm very busy.
15:27Have I told you about the sex stuff that I'm dealing with?
15:29Teddy, stop.
15:30No, stop.
15:31Hello.
15:32Hi.
15:32Thank you for coming.
15:33Let's see those sad funeral faces.
15:35Dad, you're already good.
15:37Yeah, you've got resting, grieving face.
15:39Uh-huh.
15:39We'll help fill seats at your fake funeral for 30-minute stops.
15:42And then we need to go back and open the restaurant.
15:44Speaking of dead places.
15:46Jane.
15:46How dramatic do you want me to be?
15:48Something like...
15:49Why?
15:50Maybe turn that down to like a four?
15:52Why?
15:53Let's try 7.5.
15:54Why?
15:56There it is.
15:57That was good.
15:57Okay, come on.
15:58We've got to hide.
15:58The carnies will be here any minute.
16:00They all wear watches and they're always on time.
16:02So remember, you reach out to them in a few days and say,
16:05Oopsie, there's been a mix-up at the morgue.
16:07Wrong dead guy.
16:09These things happen.
16:10But isn't it great I'm still alive several days after my tasteful funeral?
16:14Sound good?
16:15You got it, Dr. Diff.
16:16And don't call me that.
16:18I can't believe we spaghetti Rusty and now he's dead.
16:21Are we going to get in trouble?
16:23Are they going to dust those noodles for Prince?
16:25I don't know.
16:26Let's just try to be present in the moment.
16:28Damn it.
16:29I've got a tick on my leg.
16:31I'll burn it off later.
16:32I can't get more Lyme disease.
16:35We're here today to honor the life of Rusty Perkins.
16:38Carny, settlement beneficiary, and man about town.
16:42You'll notice there's no casket.
16:44That's because the body is still at the morgue, and that's a totally normal thing in this business.
16:50Mort's nailing it.
16:51Yeah.
16:52So, our beloved Rusty has passed on.
16:54It's sad, really.
16:56Super sad.
16:57When you think about it, it gets sad.
16:59Hopefully, no one holds any resentment towards him that they now regret because he is just so, so dead.
17:06Let it go!
17:07At this point, I'd like to invite up anyone who wishes to say some words about their friend Rusty.
17:13Rusty.
17:14I'll say something.
17:15Oh, that worked?
17:16I mean, good.
17:20Rusty was a huge jerk who shoved his settlement money in all of our faces, and we all hated him
17:25for it.
17:26Okay.
17:27But before all that, he was a good friend.
17:30I'll never forget this thing he'd do with cord dogs.
17:32He'd tap the top like a microphone and say, is this thing on?
17:37I may have a tattoo that says, sucks to be you, but you know what really sucks?
17:42Losing a friend to this disease called death.
17:45Oh, that's beautiful.
17:47And I just wish more than anything that I could have had a chance to tell her that I...
17:52I'm alive!
17:54No, no, no!
17:54Hey, guys, I'm alive!
17:56Isn't that great?
17:57Oh, boy.
17:58Why?
18:03I can't believe you!
18:04I made myself all raw and vulnerable, and I find out you did a fake funeral?
18:08I take back all my tears.
18:10Goodbye forever, Rusty.
18:12Come on, guys.
18:13No, no, no!
18:14But wait.
18:14You all came to the funeral.
18:15You must still care about him deep down.
18:17Also, hi, it's us from before.
18:19Nice to see you again.
18:20Look, yes, Rusty made you guys think he was dead.
18:23And yes, Rusty did the one thing he wasn't supposed to do, and jumped out and said,
18:28I'm alive.
18:29And yes, the whole fake funeral thing was Tina's idea.
18:31Wait, what?
18:32But, Sonny, Rusty paid for all your medical bills when you had the heart attack.
18:36What?
18:36Yeah.
18:37Wow.
18:37I just thought maybe our boss, Mr. Fish, showed us secretly gave us health benefits without
18:41telling us, because he's shy.
18:43Are health benefits a thing?
18:45I just watch online tutorials about how to make medicine.
18:48I do all my own stitches.
18:50See?
18:51Well, uh, thanks.
18:53You're welcome.
18:54Now, can you guys just bury the hatchet?
18:56Or the shiv, if you will?
18:58Sorry.
18:58Um, and just be friends again?
19:00I don't know.
19:01We live in different worlds now.
19:03We're carnies, and you're just not anymore.
19:06You know?
19:07Hold on, hold on.
19:08What does this tell you?
19:13You still have the tank top?
19:15Once a carny, always a carny.
19:18Aw, he still has the tank top, Bob.
19:20I-I don't understand the significance.
19:22Me neither, but it's nice.
19:24Jeez, Rusty.
19:26Bring it in.
19:28I wanna do hugging.
19:30Group grope!
19:32Aw.
19:32This is exactly how I want my fake funeral to me.
19:35Hm.
19:35I want mine to be better.
19:37I want the new Pope from Conclave to be there.
19:39Good for them, finding their way back to each other.
19:42What was I thinking?
19:43Ah, I can't fire Dr. Marjorie.
19:45She's my car dog.
19:47So what if she's like a total freak?
19:49She's the closest person in my life that I pay Bonnie to talk to.
19:53I mean...
19:53What?
19:54Uh, nothing.
19:55Aw, it's nice to not feel such a burning hatred for you anymore, Rusty.
19:59What the...
20:00Ha!
20:01Well done.
20:02Game on.
20:03Wow.
20:04Look at them.
20:05Friends again.
20:06We did this.
20:07Out of the goodness of our hearts.
20:09I don't even care that we didn't get any money or tickets.
20:11Really?
20:11No, I still care very much.
20:12Oh.
20:13Hey, who wants burgers at that sad restaurant next door?
20:16We can talk about the day, possible exchange of money and or ride tickets.
20:19Come on, let's go get you some lunch.
20:21For free!
20:22Uh, not for free.
20:23Free of you, kiss the chef!
20:24No, Gene.
20:25I'm buying.
20:26I mean, we should be getting back to the wharf.
20:29Lot of people on unmanned rides right now.
20:31Probably not safe.
20:32Ah, they're fine.
20:33They're not trapped.
20:34They're just getting a longer experience.
20:37Ah, you're right.
20:37We also do real funerals.
20:39Tell your dead friends.
20:41This beat is not conventional wisdom.
20:43This is a rhythmical kingdom.
20:44This is additional income.
20:46We take that Cacatino mattress of freedom.
20:49Kazoo Solo, take it, Zeke.
20:51You got it!
21:03I love you, Joel.
21:03This beat is not conventional wisdom.
21:05This is a rhythmical kingdom.
21:07This is additional income.
21:08We take that Cacatino mattress of freedom!
21:11Oh, he's so friggin' my drama!
21:13You
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