- 6 hours ago
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00:04So, you've just been doing a bit of Shakespeare, Twelfth Night.
00:07Yeah.
00:09Is this the moustache you had for Malvolia?
00:12It is.
00:12You've been twiddling it since we got up.
00:14I'm so sorry.
00:15It isn't becoming...
00:16Twiddle, twiddle, twiddle.
00:18And how long is it since you did Malvolia?
00:20It's a week.
00:21And you've still got it on?
00:22I know I'm slightly worrying about saying goodbye to him.
00:26Because I played him twice, once when my dad died and once when my mum died,
00:30he got me through some, you know, a tough year.
00:33Yeah.
00:34Is it time to take it off, do you think?
00:36Do you want me to take it off?
00:37Oh, well, actually, that...
00:39Hang on.
00:40What have you got alive?
00:42Yes, I've got scissors.
00:44Go on, then.
00:44Just go up to the edges.
00:46It's quite hard to see.
00:48I don't want to hear that.
00:51Guys, you've got tough hairs.
00:53It's waxed.
00:53All my scissors are rubbish.
00:55Yeah, I think it's probably...
00:56Oh, I feel less strong already.
00:58You can have that.
01:01Let's have the other one.
01:05Oh, that's better.
01:07Should I do your nasal hair?
01:09No, stop there, please.
01:10Something for the weekend, sir.
01:11Where are you going on your holidays?
01:15If the acting ever dries up...
01:16Yeah.
01:17You could do this.
01:17I could do my barbering.
01:18Very good.
01:24Did you hear the rain last night?
01:25Oh, my God.
01:26I think we can see the results of that rainfall today.
01:29Welcome to the Somerset Levels.
01:32Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten me into.
01:35Oh, my God.
01:38There's been a lot of rain, and, um...
01:41I mean, this is a road.
01:41This is the road we wanted to go down.
01:44This is the largest area of water meadows in Britain.
01:47They're meant to be flooded some of the time,
01:49but they're not really meant to be this flooded
01:51this much of the time.
01:53However, this is a very good place to look for a bittern.
01:57A bittern?
01:58A bittern.
01:59B-I-T-T-E-R-N.
02:02Bittern.
02:02One of the best disguised,
02:05one of the most secretive,
02:06and certainly the shyest bird in Britain.
02:10It's like a small...
02:11Well, it is a small, brown, quite pudgy heron,
02:14but it's exactly the colour of the reed beds it nests in.
02:18Hang on, it's that one over there.
02:22They have this habit.
02:23They've put their bill vertically,
02:25and they look a bit like Beaker from The Muppets.
02:27Oh, I've heard that sounds fun.
02:30And they basically disappear.
02:33Are there many of them?
02:34There are many more than there were.
02:37There's been an amazing conservation effort
02:39to stop draining reed beds and protect their habitat.
02:45Even though they're very hard to see,
02:47bitterns do make this extraordinary noise.
02:50They boom.
02:52Boom.
02:52Yeah.
02:53It sounds like somebody blowing across the top of an enormous milk bottle.
02:56Unless we're unlucky and find someone blowing across the top
02:59of an incredibly tall milk bottle.
03:01That's possible, of course.
03:01Hiding in the reeds.
03:05So we might hear one.
03:06But even if we don't see a bittern,
03:08what we will see is lots of large white birds.
03:11In fact, look.
03:13They're swans, aren't they?
03:14That's right.
03:15They're mute swans.
03:16They're mute swans,
03:17and they're making quite a lot of noise.
03:21Shall we start looking?
03:22Yeah.
03:22Well, we're not getting through that,
03:23even in your Land Rover.
03:25We'll have to find another way.
03:35I think this is the soggiest landscape I've ever driven through.
03:40It feels like we're on the tiny little causeway.
03:43It does, doesn't it?
03:44All the time.
03:45Yes.
03:46But, yes, these water meadows have been artificially irrigated by,
03:51well, it was called drowning.
03:53When the water's carried off the river,
03:55it takes all the sediment, which isn't much use in a river,
03:59into the fields, fertilises them.
04:02And then if you're growing hay or grazing cows,
04:07it's perfect grazing land.
04:17There's a lot of birds.
04:18Yeah, plenty of birds.
04:21And this is prime bitten country.
04:24So we need to find a hide where we can wait quietly and look at the scope.
04:30I like these stumpy things.
04:33Got something of the triffid about it.
04:35They might start following us.
04:39So we're going into stealth mode now.
04:41Are we?
04:42Yes.
04:43Do we have to walk, strangely?
04:45Why not?
04:51Is that a robin?
04:52Yeah.
04:52There he is.
04:53Oh, no, sorry.
04:53No, that's a run.
04:54My apologies.
04:55Where?
04:55Where is it?
04:56Just here.
04:57Into the little cocked tail.
05:01Oh, really opening his mouth wide.
05:04Yeah, it's a proper, proper spring song.
05:05They say it's the smallest bird in Britain.
05:08Is that right?
05:08Well, it would have to fight the goldcrest for that.
05:12Didn't we see a goldcrest?
05:14We did.
05:14And a firecrest.
05:15I sure had anything I did because it was so bloody small.
05:20Oh, this hide looks good.
05:21Mm.
05:22Very high tech.
05:24Hide tech?
05:25Hide tech.
05:27Right.
05:28So we need to check the edges of all the reeds, really.
05:30All right.
05:30It's a movement.
05:31Yeah.
05:31You tend to look on the edges of the reed beds because if the bittern's on the edge, then you'll
05:35see it.
05:36And if it isn't, then you won't.
05:37Yeah.
05:38But they do come to the edges sometimes.
05:40Would we hear them before we saw them?
05:42Yeah, we could easily hear one.
05:44And even birders who've seen lots of them consider a sighting at a special event.
05:50They're that difficult to see.
05:51So nobody's blasé about bittern.
05:56So what does it sound like exactly?
05:58Can you do an impression for me?
06:01It'd be a bittern.
06:01Okay.
06:02It's, um...
06:03Fresh from the Royal Shakespeare Company.
06:05Samuel West, as well.
06:06From the buttocks.
06:07We'll be giving it his bittern.
06:09It's really low.
06:11Yeah.
06:12Ooh.
06:12Ooh.
06:13Ooh.
06:14Ooh.
06:16Ooh.
06:17The reviews are in, and frankly, they're not very good.
06:20Are they not?
06:20Well, we'll see.
06:21We'll see it, shall we?
06:22See what turns out.
06:23Let me see if we can find a milk bottle bitten.
06:31Oh, just that.
06:32Ooh.
06:33Sounds like a bit of drum and bass.
06:35Ooh.
06:35Yeah.
06:36Yeah.
06:36Yeah, they'd like drum and bass.
06:40It is exciting.
06:41It's the furthest carrying and the lowest frequency call of any bird in Britain.
06:50I know some of these.
06:52Yes?
06:53The black one with the white forehead down to the bill is either a moorhen or a coot.
07:00And which one is it?
07:02Oh.
07:02It looks like it's got a white plastic spoon on its face.
07:05Yeah.
07:05That's coot.
07:06Yeah.
07:06Well done.
07:08Do you see grebe just behind it, great crested grebe?
07:11Oh, is this the silvery one?
07:13Yeah.
07:14Any sketch from a 70s TV show about bird watchers, they're always looking for a great crested grebe.
07:21I wouldn't really call it a great crested.
07:24Well, it gets one in the spring for breeding purposes.
07:27The face is white with orange and then the crested is black and goes up and it looks quite punky.
07:33Yeah.
07:33It looks like early Susie Sue in the Banshees.
07:36Hmm.
07:36And they're very sweet breeders.
07:39They do this thing where they dive for weed and come up and present it to each other.
07:45They stand up in the water and go face to face.
07:48Really?
07:48Yeah.
07:49I don't know how they do it.
07:50It's very beautiful.
07:51We won't see it for a couple of months.
07:58Can I say I've just seen something?
08:01What have you just seen?
08:02Right over there.
08:04There's this bit of reeds here and then there's water and there's something on a kind of block.
08:09And on it there's a weird looking thing.
08:10Is that the bitten?
08:12That is a grey heron and the block is its nest, I think.
08:17All right.
08:18It's a good looking bird, isn't it?
08:19It's beautiful.
08:19It's already got its breeding plumes on its head.
08:22Yeah, it's like it's wearing a hat.
08:25Yeah.
08:27There's two more there.
08:28Yeah?
08:29Oh, gosh, look.
08:30Yeah, it's just in front of us.
08:32Grey herons normally nest in mature trees, but they're nesting in reeds here, which is very unusual.
08:39They just look so depressed.
08:41They look like they're sort of in a dredgeful kitchen sink drama and it's all just gone so wrong.
08:48It's too much, yes.
08:49They're just going to stay there till they die.
08:52God, it looks grim.
08:54The wind's blowing them about.
09:04I've only just noticed that's Glastonbury tour in the background.
09:06Oh, gosh, that is.
09:08Look.
09:09Have you been to Glastonbury?
09:11You must have been.
09:12I've performed at it twice.
09:14You haven't?
09:14I have.
09:15You've played Glaston?
09:16With my band.
09:17Played the Avalon stage.
09:19I'll tell you a thing about Glastonbury.
09:21Go on.
09:22From about a mile away, all you can smell is human ordeux.
09:27There's a track we used to go in by to get to the back of the Avalon stage with the
09:32van.
09:33And it passes the men's urinals.
09:36And it almost takes the skin off your eyes.
09:39It's so acrid.
09:40Wow.
09:42Yeah.
09:42But what was the experience of playing the festival?
09:45Do you know, it was one of the best gigs we ever did.
09:47Yeah.
09:48Just people who were really into it.
09:51Yeah.
09:51I'll bet.
09:52Yeah.
10:00So looking at birds is a new hobby for you.
10:03What other hobbies have you got?
10:05Would you call music a hobby?
10:06Um, I think I'm a man prone to looking on the gloomy side of things.
10:14And I find boredom depressing.
10:19Mm.
10:21So I've always busied myself with picking at some strings of something or writing something,
10:27you know.
10:28I find filling the time in a way of staving it off.
10:35A strange thing happened in lockdown when I contacted you, in fact.
10:40I remember, yes.
10:42I started building this new vegetable garden.
10:44And that's when I started noticing birds.
10:46And that's when I rang you and said, how do I find out what that bird is?
10:51And I was sort of, you know, mid-60s.
10:55And I thought my life might be over.
10:59Professional life.
11:00Really?
11:01Yeah.
11:02I wasn't really sad about it.
11:03It's the first time I kind of viewed my life in its entirety as there was where it started.
11:09And it's got to here.
11:10So it gave me this way of having an overview of what life was.
11:16What my life was.
11:18I mean, I basically dick about and I've made that a career.
11:22You know?
11:23Yeah.
11:24Yeah.
11:30Look, there's some grebes doing a bloody thing.
11:32Oh, look, there they are.
11:33Look, there they are.
11:35Yes, shaking their heads.
11:37There you are.
11:39Isn't that great?
11:39You described that to me.
11:41And now they're doing it.
11:43And now they're doing it.
11:43They're just standing up.
11:44Look at mine.
11:45Oh, no, look at mine.
11:46Are they trying to mate with each other?
11:48Yeah, I think they're thinking of being a pair.
11:53They're having a rest between dances now.
11:56It's great that we saw that.
11:58It felt like they'd come to show me.
12:00Exactly what I just said.
12:02Say, we know we're not supposed to do this until a bit further into spring.
12:05But we heard your friend trying to explain what it was.
12:09We saw on page 13.
12:10He wasn't doing well.
12:11It's like this.
12:14Yes.
12:15She's not all doom and gloom, is she?
12:17No, no.
12:22Shall we try somewhere else?
12:23Yeah.
12:30They're very attractive, these reeds, aren't they?
12:33Yeah.
12:36See that?
12:37That's the Canada goose.
12:38I can tell by the chin strap.
12:40I can.
12:43No luck with the bitten yet.
12:46You know, we could well see one just skirting the top of the reeds as it moves from one place
12:52to another.
12:53We haven't heard one.
13:05Perfectly sane.
13:06Nothing to see here.
13:13I'm amazed they're not beating the door down.
13:19No sign of a bitten.
13:21They're very, very shy.
13:22We'll have to look somewhere else.
13:25You have little faith.
13:27There probably is one there.
13:29It's just that it's hiding.
13:32Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
13:36Ooh, ooh, ooh.
13:38Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
13:50Look at the Godwits.
13:52That's good.
13:52Godwits, black.
13:53Black and white.
13:53with a white wing bar and long, long bills coming round.
13:57Oh, yeah.
13:59And they look great. Yeah.
14:01Good numbers of grey heron, but no luck with the bitten.
14:06So, before we go,
14:09I want to have a proper look
14:12on the base of these reeds with the scope.
14:14Do you want to warm up?
14:16Yes, yes, I'll do... If I see one, I'll call you.
14:19I'll do my job of warming up.
14:31MUSIC PLAYS
14:33It's a nasty, sleeping wind.
14:37The trouble is, when you're looking at reed beds,
14:41they're so exactly the colour of a bittern
14:45that when you zoom in on them, you think you can see one.
14:48MUSIC PLAYS
14:52We've got a robin.
14:54Come on, Mr Robin.
14:57Some delicious food.
15:00You can see me, can't you?
15:05You're looking lovely.
15:08MUSIC PLAYS
15:09MUSIC CONTINUES
15:18Written.
15:19Here all year.
15:21I mean, I keep thinking I see one.
15:24It's just a tree stump.
15:35MUSIC CONTINUES
15:36Come on, to another one.
15:39MUSIC CONTINUES
15:40I know.
15:40And the weather's been shocking.
15:43MUSIC CONTINUES
15:44Absolutely.
15:51MUSIC CONTINUES
15:53The boots are very noisy.
15:55MUSIC CONTINUES
15:57There you go.
15:58MUSIC CONTINUES
16:00You look like a little mechanical bird.
16:02MUSIC CONTINUES
16:18MUSIC CONTINUES
16:23I'm bloody freezing.
16:25Did you find anything?
16:26Of course I didn't.
16:28You'll never guess what happened when you're away.
16:30Tell me.
16:31This bittern just sat on the bonnet of the car.
16:37Boomed at me.
16:38Boomed at me.
16:40MUSIC CONTINUES
16:41MUSIC CONTINUES
16:42Not in this time.
16:45I've just been feeding a robin.
16:47No.
16:48Yeah, came to my hand.
16:49I mean, fleetingly.
16:50I think it was the same one as in Cornwall.
16:52No, it's a lot smaller, actually.
16:53Really?
16:54Hmm.
16:56Where are we off to you next?
16:58See if we can find some cattle egrets.
16:59Somerset's the best place for them.
17:01Is it?
17:02Yeah.
17:02There are more here than anywhere else in Britain at the moment.
17:06Ecrets.
17:07I've had a few.
17:10But then again, too few to mention.
17:13Boom, boom, boom.
17:18What do you think your hobbies are?
17:20Is bird watching your soul hobby?
17:23No, it's my main hobby.
17:24Yeah.
17:25I think a lot of my hobbies centre around collecting.
17:28Yeah.
17:29I mean, you know that I keep lists for birds and I collect stamps.
17:33I think that the need to fill some void is one I feel,
17:39and also the need to catalogue a confusing world.
17:45Yeah.
17:45Oh, hang on, hang on.
17:48We have cattle and cattle egrets.
17:52I love cows.
17:54I love cattle egrets.
17:55I think cows have got the loveliest eyes in the world.
17:58I hope you don't say that to Jennifer too often.
18:06Yeah.
18:06Why are they hanging about with cattle?
18:08So the cattle egrets do something for the cows
18:11and the cows give them something back.
18:14The cattle egrets take ticks and flies off the cows.
18:18Yeah.
18:19They've been known to do it very gently around a cow's eye, for instance.
18:22Yeah.
18:23What the cattle egret get is that when the cows tread through the ground,
18:26they turn over the ground like a little plough
18:29and they turn up insects and invertebrates.
18:31Yeah.
18:32And the cattle egrets eat them.
18:34They're a heron.
18:35They're a small white heron.
18:36Yeah.
18:37Although they're called egrets.
18:38I mean...
18:39What is a heron then?
18:40I mean, why are all those birds called heron?
18:43What does that mean?
18:44A long-legged wading bird with a long dagger-like bill that mostly eats fish.
18:50But actually, the cattle egrets don't need fish as much.
18:53Well, they can feed on drier fields and they eat invertebrates.
18:57They'll, you know, take a frog.
18:59Mind you...
19:00Take a frog.
19:01They'll take a frog.
19:01I'll take a frog.
19:02Have you got a frog?
19:03What have you got on tonight?
19:05Frog.
19:06Oh, I'll take a frog.
19:07I don't mind.
19:13So it's approaching dusk and it's the right time of year.
19:17There's one more spectacle we can try and find before dinner.
19:21I do like three spectacles a day.
19:22A Starling murmuration.
19:25A murmuration.
19:27I've never really seen one close up.
19:29I'm going to call the Starling hotline and see what they tell us about where we might be able to
19:38find some.
19:39It has not been possible to connect.
19:42Please try again later.
19:43It has not been possible to connect your call.
19:47The rain's coming.
19:49Yes, it has.
19:50Why?
19:52Yes.
19:52It's been such a good day, really, isn't it?
19:54Yeah.
19:55Compared to what we thought it was going to be.
19:57The Starlings head straight to roost if it's raining, so there probably won't be a murmuration tonight.
20:01Yeah.
20:01Let's head for the digs and try for Starlings tomorrow.
20:14Yes.
20:14Very good.
20:16Oh, nice and warm.
20:16Don't lock it.
20:18Oh, there we are.
20:19Kitchen.
20:20Are you cooking tonight?
20:22I certainly am.
20:24Jolly good.
20:24I like the fire.
20:31That smells good.
20:32What is it?
20:33Er, we're having dinner.
20:33Kedgeri. Oh, brilliant.
20:37Right, here we go, then. Daylist.
20:42Somerset Levels.
20:45Great.
20:47Crested.
20:48Great.
20:50Which I think is my favourite bird of the day.
20:53Very good. Very, very sleek.
20:55Very nicely designed. It's lovely, isn't it?
20:59What exactly is Kedgeri?
21:01Well, Kedgeri, the way I make it, is a bloody mess.
21:05No, it's basically smoked haddock and rice
21:09in a sort of slightly curried sauce.
21:12What's not to like?
21:13I know.
21:15We didn't see a Chetty's Warbler, but we heard lots.
21:20It looks like madness to me.
21:22This?
21:23Yeah. Someone wants to say, what does madness look like?
21:26It's... It's this?
21:28When you flick through the same book, you look at every page again.
21:31Yeah.
21:33I like it.
21:34It's quite a sane madness. There are much madder mads.
21:37Yeah.
21:40Starling.
21:41Yes, Starling?
21:43Still funny.
21:46Wren.
21:47Wren.
21:48Wren was lovely.
21:49Yeah.
21:50Singing away there.
21:52Saying, don't forget about us, common birds.
21:54We did. We really didn't forget birds.
21:56We demand a look.
21:57Yes.
21:58They demanded very well.
21:59And I have to say, best singer of the day.
22:01No, no question.
22:02Very good singer.
22:03No question.
22:04To some of the house's eggs.
22:06Have you seen the chickens outside?
22:08No.
22:09They're beautiful.
22:09Look at that colour.
22:11Shall we have that one?
22:13Go on.
22:15So, lots of herons today.
22:17There are no bitten.
22:18But there's always tomorrow.
22:19The herons are fantastic.
22:21The herons were good.
22:28There's a purple heron on our wine.
22:31That's very good.
22:32Yeah.
22:33How charming.
22:34Cheers, my dear.
22:35Mmm.
22:36Mmm.
22:37Well-burnted.
22:39And you, mate.
22:43Oh, that's lovely.
22:45That's beautiful, eh?
22:46Thank you so much.
22:47It looks all right, doesn't it?
22:48It looks gorgeous.
22:49I mean, it's food.
22:49It goes in.
22:51It comes out.
22:54I can usually make, um, supper in the time it takes for EastEnders to be...
22:59Missed.
23:00Yeah.
23:01It's a little bit like that.
23:02Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer watches EastEnders while I make supper and then, um...
23:06Very good.
23:07So, half out.
23:08So, as soon as you hit the duff, duff, duffs, you know it's time to serve.
23:11Mmm.
23:12Oh, this is great.
23:14Really delicious.
23:15So, here's to the elusive bitten, on the hope of one tomorrow.
23:21That bitten doesn't know what's coming to you.
23:24Doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof.
23:27Ha, ha, ha.
23:28Yeah, I'm not, Pop.
23:56Yeah, I'm not, Pop.
23:59One of my favourite boring bird calls, memorably described by Simon Barnes as a bored football fan.
24:07A collared dove going, hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo.
24:14He says it's like a bored football fan going, united, united.
24:22And you can never forget that once you've heard it.
24:32What a splendid day.
24:35An awful lot of birds about.
24:38Now, where's those chickens?
24:43Here they are.
24:46Hello, little chickens.
24:49I love a chicken.
24:51It's all got such characters.
24:54My wife wants to make a sitcom about chickens.
24:58Just film chickens and then put voiceover on them.
25:02Yes, hello.
25:04Oh.
25:06What are you going to do today?
25:07Well, I thought I'd just peck at some food.
25:11Really attractive, a good chicken.
25:14Gorgeous birds.
25:19Well, look, there's some birds.
25:22Those are...
25:23Bloody hell, I think they're starlings.
25:27Not quite a murmuration, just a fall.
25:30I feel nervous saying that they are without confirmation from the master.
25:41Can I hear a corn bunting?
25:45A big flock of sparrows just here.
25:49And a robin just behind it.
25:54And the song thrush just down here.
25:58This is the first time I've done this, sort of go out in the morning.
26:02And it's really quite pleasant.
26:10I think I'm being stalked by the robins.
26:14Right, I'm going to go and get the coffee on.
26:21Just photosynthesising for a bit.
26:26It's better.
26:45Good morning, good morning.
26:46Good morning.
26:48How are you?
26:49I'm very well.
26:49What time did you get at?
26:51Oh, I don't know.
26:51About seven.
26:53I'm doing my morning madness walk.
26:55Is that coffee?
26:56It is coffee.
26:56Yahoo.
26:57Nice little mug.
27:01Cheers.
27:01Cheers.
27:02Well, I went out.
27:03Did you?
27:03Yes.
27:04Do you know what I found?
27:05Go on.
27:05Chickens.
27:06You can't count those.
27:11What's the plan today?
27:12Well, we're going to try and see a bittern again.
27:16I brought a bittern photograph.
27:18And do you remember I said that it looked like beaker?
27:21That's what they, when they freeze, that's why they look like beaker.
27:25Bitterns, apparently, even though they were very shy, were never particularly difficult to catch.
27:31And they were on the menu in the medieval times.
27:35Well, I did a bit of reading last night.
27:37Did you?
27:37Yes.
27:38How many bitterns do you think were eaten for the investiture of the Archbishop of York in 1465?
27:49204.
27:49No.
27:50It's no wonder we can't find one.
27:52That's like almost all Britain's bitterns.
27:54That's quite hard to say.
27:56Yeah.
27:57204 just for an investiture.
28:00That's just showing off, isn't it?
28:00Yeah.
28:01And I've got some footage of the suspect.
28:04This is who we're looking for.
28:07This is to prove that they do exist.
28:10Oh, he's quite a fine head, isn't it?
28:13He looks very inquisitive.
28:14Hello.
28:14What's that over there?
28:15That's kind of a bit of a...
28:16Kip-A-Tai?
28:18Why have they got very many accents?
28:20They have, though, haven't they?
28:21Yeah.
28:22You can see they're much stockier than normal herons.
28:25But it does prove they exist.
28:26They are not fictional birds.
28:29Although they very nearly were.
28:31I mean, in 97, we got down to 11 of them.
28:34Mm.
28:34They could easily have become extinct in the wild.
28:36It's been a great success story.
28:40283 in 2024.
28:41It's a massive recovery.
28:42Well, it's ever since we stopped the Church of England from eating them.
28:46Yes.
28:50I'm used to the accusation that I'm geeky.
28:53Yeah.
28:53But I've been thinking about you calling my listing mad.
28:56I think it's part of a sort of mindfulness.
29:01Something about putting it down and trying to expand it is mind-expanding as well as geeky, I think, just
29:10to me, anyway.
29:11I think it might also be a way of putting the world in order.
29:16Yeah.
29:22You've been all right since your mum died.
29:25Yeah.
29:26You became an orphan very quickly, didn't you?
29:28Yes, I did.
29:29It's quite...
29:29The funeral went well.
29:33It started with a line straight out of Forty Towers.
29:37It was...
29:37We got an email on the morning of the Mars funeral that said,
29:41there is a gas leak at Putney Crematorium.
29:45So we had to switch chapels so we didn't all get cremated here.
29:49And the music wasn't working.
29:51So we sent her off to Routewolle from the St John Passion on this tinny little Bluetooth speaker.
29:58But we were wondering what to put on the front cover of the funerals.
30:03I argued for this picture.
30:07I'd have used that.
30:08Yeah, I mean, it's one of the nice things when your parents die is that you find out things about
30:11them that you didn't know, stories.
30:13Yeah.
30:13This was in a Guardian photo essay saying Pronella scales a life in pictures.
30:17It's from the year I was born.
30:19Yeah.
30:19And I'd never seen it before.
30:21And then somebody sent me these.
30:27I think it's from the age of Daddy.
30:30Which one's you?
30:31That's me.
30:32That's my brother Joe.
30:33And there we all are.
30:35This is in 1975 when I'm nine and Joe is six.
30:40Yeah.
30:41I'll tell you what, your dad looks like my dad in those pictures.
30:49Did you know there was a stream outside?
30:51A stream?
30:51A stream.
30:53Yeah.
30:55Isn't it beautiful that you can see how high the water is?
30:58Yeah.
30:59A local wildlife photographer and filmmaker set up a camera just over the other side of this bridge.
31:07And that stick just in front of it is a favourite perch of the kingfisher.
31:13You had a very brief encounter with one.
31:15We did see one in Cornwall, didn't we?
31:17The idea now is to have a much closer and possibly, with luck, longer encounter.
31:26You just have to be very quiet and still and wait.
31:36I'm loving this bridge.
31:38There's really quite a lot of water going under it.
31:43How long do we wait for?
31:45About ten minutes in your arse?
31:47Yes.
31:49I'm able to shift my tux.
31:52Maybe I brought a couple of cushions.
31:57I'll wake me up when it comes.
31:59Oh, God, you can't lie down on this step.
32:07Oh, little kingfisher.
32:11Sweet little bird of the water.
32:17Oh, it went through.
32:18It went through?
32:18Yeah.
32:20Did you see it?
32:20I saw it, yeah.
32:23Okay, so...
32:23Maybe it was my song that called it in.
32:26Yeah, I'm sure it was, actually.
32:29If I may say.
32:31Yes.
32:32Searching for two elusive birds in one trip.
32:36Yes.
32:37Isn't it?
32:38I'm asking for trouble, yeah.
32:41It'd be funny if the bittern came through now.
32:45On a lilo.
32:48I heard you were looking for it.
32:50With a cocktail.
32:56Oh, little kingfisher.
32:58Where have you gone?
33:01Why don't you come back to me?
33:04I saw you fly past.
33:07But just saw your arse.
33:09And that's no use to me, to me.
33:13Your arse is no use to me.
33:17Right.
33:18Shall we move on?
33:19Are you calling it?
33:19West Hamor.
33:21Oh, you're giving out, then.
33:22I would stay, but...
33:23Yes, of course.
33:24Honestly, if you have to go...
33:25I just don't have the patience.
33:26Yeah.
33:27Oh, God almighty.
33:30Oh, Christ.
33:33That's a way to get arthritis.
33:34It's good for us.
33:35Bird yoga.
33:36Yeah.
33:37Oh.
33:38Right, where are we off?
33:39West Hamor.
33:40Will there be some birds there?
33:42Yes.
33:52No matter how many times you get, we go to San Carlos.
33:55Oh, John!
34:18No matter how many times, we get on our train in.
34:19you look at them, Sam, they're always going to be ordinary swans. Yeah, I know. Hope springs
34:24it out. You keep looking at them thinking there's going to be something different. I know, I know.
34:29I mean, I should actually know because Hoopers and Buicks are slightly smaller
34:33and those are massive.
34:49Well, after my Saint Francis of Assisi act with the robin, I'm now walking on water. I think
34:57something great might be happening to me. This might be the second coming. Well, it's funny,
35:04you should say that because there are three mentions of bitterns in the Old Testament.
35:08Oh, yeah. Yes, in Isaiah, it talks about the total destruction of a place called Edom
35:14under divine judgment, a return to pre-Genesis chaos and the cormorant and the bittern shall possess it.
35:23And the idea is that it's totally abandoned. A remote and horrible place. Well, even in biblical
35:32times, the bittern was looking for somewhere where it really wouldn't be disturbed. Yeah.
35:36They're that shy. I wonder what it's doing there, in this place where it can't be seen.
35:42Well, that's exactly the thing, isn't it? You are meant to wonder. You're not meant to go and see.
35:46Oh.
35:59I like this hide. It's gorgeous. It's like the, uh, the bridge of the ship in which we serve.
36:12Bittern's damn quiet tonight, number one. Yes, sir. Too quiet.
36:17Haven't seen a sign of bittern there. He's out there somewhere.
36:21Waiting.
36:24I've checked all the edges of the reeds. Good for you.
36:30There's some gadwall. Is that his missus next time?
36:34Well, if he gets lucky, it is. The male is the grey one with the black stone,
36:40and the female looks quite like a mallard. It looks rather dull, but close up,
36:46it's absolutely pretty and beautiful.
36:57It's very peaceful in a hide, isn't it? It's such a meditative place.
37:01It is gorgeous, isn't it? A place of peace.
37:04It's a strange landscape. It's sort of lunar. It doesn't feel quite...
37:08Yeah. ..earthly.
37:11Well, it's basically an old pit, isn't it? If they dug the peat out.
37:13Yeah. And it's filled up with water.
37:20It's a very loud coot.
37:23Yes, you were loud. That's what I'm saying.
37:27You, sir.
37:31So this bittern... Yeah.
37:34..that is possibly standing right in front of us, disguised as a reed...
37:39Easily.
37:40And the way we are, you know, you and I are both actors.
37:45Do you think you hide in your roles?
37:47I like being someone else. I love being someone else.
37:51I think... Pretending to be someone else.
37:53I think enjoying being somebody else isn't quite the same thing as hiding in something.
37:57I know my mum really liked being somebody else, and the only time I ever saw her unhappy
38:02was when her dementia meant she could no longer learn lines,
38:06and she couldn't pretend to be somebody else.
38:09Yeah.
38:10I don't know that... I mean...
38:13Bitterns... If Bitterns were people, they would be...
38:16Loners.
38:17Well, they would be socially really awkward.
38:20Yeah.
38:21I mean, they would shun almost all contact, and they would freeze as well.
38:27They would, you know, just hope it all goes away.
38:30Yeah.
38:44You listen very carefully.
38:48You can hear the sound of the rain on the water. It's hissing.
38:56Thousands and thousands of tiny noises making a hiss.
39:03Fancy a cuppa?
39:04Oh, God, yes.
39:06Let's go and get the thermos.
39:07Oh, no.
39:15What's that?
39:24Did you bring a milk bottle specially?
39:27No.
39:28No, I think it's, um...
39:30Have you found a bit in here somewhere?
39:32I think I've been bitten.
39:35That was very convincing, though.
39:36What's it?
39:37Yeah.
39:38It got me fooled for a bit.
39:50Doesn't seem to be calling back.
39:56We're going to be confusing a lot of birds.
40:01I'll try a sexier one.
40:02OK.
40:03Good luck.
40:06Mm-hmm.
40:08Why was that sexier?
40:10It had rhythm.
40:11It had something.
40:12Syncopation.
40:15Well, it's brought in a cormorant.
40:29I'm afraid the bittern has eluded us again today.
40:33Back to the car.
40:34Yeah, sleds.
40:35My socks are getting a bit soggy.
40:40Very nice sunlight there through that.
40:42Gorgeous, watery sunlight.
40:43Yeah.
40:43And look at the raindrops hanging off the...
40:45Oh, yeah, off the rails.
40:46It's beautiful.
40:48Perhaps we should, uh, go and...
40:49Go and look at some starlings.
40:50...look for a murmuration of starlings.
40:52Absolutely.
40:52Bloody lootly.
40:53And look at some starlings.
41:05Oh, yeah.
41:05Oh, yeah.
41:06Oh, yeah.
41:06Oh, yeah.
41:09Oh, yeah.
41:15This is probably a good...
41:17panorama.
41:18A nice view of the tour again.
41:20Yeah, doesn't matter where we go. The tour is always in front of us. It's promising
41:31There's a single white egret up there great white
41:41There's a few in front of the tour now
41:46Have you um, oh have you seen any starlings? No, no, no, don't listen to him. Yeah, they're over there
41:54We say out of the beginning. Yeah
41:59Here they come here they come
42:10Bloody hell exactly
42:13Christ almighty
42:15That's
42:18Enormous
42:22Isn't that amazing?
42:24Do you look at it looks like one ginormous bee. Yeah, it's like a huge fish. Oh, they're going around
42:29there
42:30If you've never seen a flock of birds, you'd think the end of the world was coming
42:34Oh
43:03Wow
43:04In my bins
43:05No
43:05Except starlings
43:08Do you have any idea why they do it?
43:11Well, safety in numbers is the main thing
43:14But they're looking for somewhere safe for the night
43:17Look at that
43:18Look at that
43:20Oh my god
43:25Listen, listen, listen
43:31Does this make up for your bitten?
43:33Oh god, yeah
43:3530,000
43:3630,000
43:36Starlings
43:46You can see why it's called a murmuration. I mean that felt like a murmuration. That was so beautiful
43:53What a noise
43:58Thank you for, thank you for being here when I saw that. That was great. Really special
44:07Thank you for my great Christ in Grieve
44:11It's my bird of the trip. Is it? Yeah. So now you get to say, you sound like a real
44:16bird watcher
44:17I saw the mating dance of the great Christ in Grieve. It's like you're in a sitcom
44:33Let's go
44:33I think they've gone to roost. Perhaps we should do the same
44:36Yeah
44:38Bid you adieu, Somerset
44:39Thank you, Somerset. You've been great
44:41See you soon
44:42Right. To the pub
44:48If you're interested in learning more about the birds featured and nature reserves near you
44:52Go to rspb.org.uk forward slash c5 for more information
45:05A young business off to a flying start thanks to a can-do attitude and some serious kits
45:10It's new Reuben Owen Life in the Dales starts next Tuesday at 8.
45:14Next to night, the accused takes to the stand and questioning is intense
45:19Murder in Shetland, trial by jury, brand new in just a moment
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