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00:04I'm nervous. I'm going to take it one step at a time. I'm absolutely petrified.
00:10Twelve virgins are travelling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever.
00:18This has made me the strangest day of my life.
00:21Being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely. I've just sort of given up all hope.
00:28In a world saturated with sex, more young adults than ever are caught in an intimacy epidemic.
00:35The thought of having sex with someone...
00:37Scares me. It gives me the ick.
00:39I don't feel confident.
00:40I'm missing out.
00:41Terrified of the thought of it.
00:42Nerve-racking.
00:43Gut-wrenching.
00:44Embarrassing.
00:45All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.
00:48Can you point to the outer labia?
00:51Nope.
00:54Now...
00:54Oh my god!
00:56...they're getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:59Social media, porn, dating apps. There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
01:06Use it by stimulating the area.
01:08Guided by a team of experts.
01:10You see yourself as...
01:12Propulsive.
01:13...they'll confront their insecurities.
01:15I'm hiding. How upset actually do you feel?
01:18Exploring intimacy.
01:21In every form.
01:23Yes, yes. Good.
01:26And maybe...
01:27Do you want to put a condom on?
01:29...have sex with a trained therapist.
01:31Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:35Or even one another.
01:36Why are you nervous around me?
01:38I don't know.
01:39That's so good.
01:41I really do need to change my life.
01:43The question is...
01:45Get a room, guys!
01:46...who will finally be ready...
01:49Just, like, get a bit anxious.
01:51...to go all the way...
01:52Touching me here again?
01:54Mm-hmm.
01:54...on Virgin Island.
02:02In the first phase of the course...
02:04Shame really interrupts pleasure.
02:08The group confronted their shame.
02:10Have I got a lipstick?
02:11Now you have a kiss.
02:13Bertie made small steps forward.
02:15What do you think?
02:15Let's go!
02:17But witnessing intimacy...
02:19...stared up Joey's feelings of religious shame.
02:22I literally thought that God cursed me with vagalism.
02:25...to stop me from having sex.
02:27And Alex revealed the extent of his anxiety.
02:30Penny for your thoughts.
02:32The main overriding thing is still that worry...
02:35...of not getting an erection.
02:36The phase ended.
02:38For me, shame is feeling ugly.
02:42Sorry.
02:43With the group letting their shame...
02:44Let it go!
02:46Let it go!
02:47...go up in flames.
02:51Now, things are set to escalate.
02:53Imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
02:56...with the second phase of the course...
02:58Good!
03:00...turn-ons.
03:01In society, a lot of people feel ashamed to talk about sex.
03:05It can be very embarrassing.
03:07Take a moment to look at your vulva.
03:09But to have a really fulfilling sex life,
03:11you have to know what turns you on.
03:24It's the morning of day three on Virgin Island.
03:28Oh!
03:29Here we go then!
03:31And time for the group to discover what's in store over the next two days.
03:35The next phase is turn-ons.
03:38I think turn-ons might involve a lot of dirty talk.
03:42It is quite a step up from hugging and stroking people's arms.
03:45Talking about, like, what turns you on is a private thing,
03:48but I guess nothing is private on this island.
03:52Morning!
03:53Good morning.
03:54I'm feeling nervous and tense over this.
03:59It's going to be a very big challenge.
04:03Turn-ons, guys.
04:04Your aim is to find everyone's turn-ons.
04:08The thing is, I know all my turn-ons,
04:11but talking about it feels quite daunting.
04:14If one of the guys gets a boner, like, they're going to be like,
04:16we're so proud of you.
04:17So proud.
04:19I'm very nervous.
04:21It just all feels like something I'm not allowed to think about.
04:24Like, oh, my gosh.
04:25No, no, no, no, no, no!
04:31You ready to know your turn-ons?
04:33No.
04:34Do you know your turn-ons now?
04:35Harry Styles.
04:37The group may be sexual beginners.
04:40Hi!
04:42But Celeste and Danielle want them to imagine they're experts
04:45and embrace their turn-ons.
04:51People get really confused.
04:52They're like, what turns me on?
04:54Is it positions?
04:55Or do I need to buy a new toy?
04:57But what really turns us on is the feeling that we get during sex.
05:03We call this our core desires.
05:06This is the cornerstone of the whole course.
05:09Everyone should know their core desires.
05:10If you want to have an amazing sex life,
05:12find out what you want to feel during sex and tell your partners.
05:15For me, in sex, it's all about feeling very special.
05:20I want to feel powerful.
05:22I want to feel like they're lucky to have me.
05:26And for me, I really like to feel like I'm the queen.
05:30People have many different feelings that they want to have during sex,
05:34and all of them are beautiful.
05:35We don't shame any of them.
05:38So you can just lie down, relax.
05:42To get them in the mood, Danielle begins with a visualization exercise.
05:48I wanted to start thinking about a fantasy that you might be having.
05:54It can be something that you saw in a movie or some erotics that you read.
06:01And then start noticing what is the feeling that you want to feel in that moment.
06:10You might want to feel loved or precious.
06:15You might want to feel masterful, desired.
06:23Whenever you're ready, come back.
06:26Sit at the edge of your mat.
06:29With their core desires in mind...
06:33..the experts want the group to write them down on a stone
06:36and share with each other.
06:39You could just play Noughts and Crosses.
06:41Yeah.
06:55OK, so who feels like they're ready to come up?
07:01I'm going to go.
07:01Great, wonderful.
07:03For Joy, her desires have always been complicated.
07:07When I was in year seven and eight, I thought it wasn't OK to be gay.
07:13I spoke to a church pastor when he started going on a rant about gay people being really sexual and
07:19slutty and promiscuous.
07:20And I realised myself that I was bisexual.
07:26But sex with a woman is like an undiscovered landscape.
07:30I do feel a bit guilty for wanting to explore it.
07:35So, I put cherished, revered, lost in the moment, free and ultimately ravished.
07:46Yay!
07:47That's my girl!
07:51As others step up...
07:53I'll do it.
07:54...some themes emerge.
07:55For me, I think the most important thing is to feel wanted.
07:58Feeling wanted.
07:59I've put wanted.
08:01I've mainly put wanted.
08:02And appreciated are common desires.
08:05I want to feel loved.
08:06Loved.
08:07Everyone wants to feel loved.
08:08But I've only got pampered on mine.
08:10Special.
08:11Praised.
08:11And then we feel, like, nice and have a safe space.
08:14While some want to be dominated.
08:16I want to feel on edge and teased.
08:19Dominated.
08:20I feel like a little bit of a perv, I'm telling you this, but, yeah.
08:22We love pervs.
08:23We love pervs.
08:27So far, only 24-year-old Bertie hasn't stepped up.
08:33I do a lot of volunteering work in charity fundraising events.
08:39I'm the one to try and get a lot of rich people to give money for charity.
08:44You'll be disappointed in it, but, er...
08:46But when it comes to discussing, you know, sexual things,
08:50I don't see myself as a confident player.
08:54I think turn-ons, especially from the more sexual aspect,
09:01should not be shared in front of everybody.
09:03It should be kept as a secret between you and your partner.
09:07Which is why I wrote, I have turn-ons, but I'm not sharing them in front of everyone.
09:12It should only be a secret between you and your partner.
09:15That's about it, really.
09:30How are we all feeling?
09:32I really liked it.
09:33Yeah.
09:33I was just like, oh, wow.
09:35This feels a bit different.
09:37Felt something in my nipples, like, as well, you know what I mean?
09:39Oh, yeah?
09:40Yeah.
09:40Like, it felt a bit...
09:44The turn-ons exercise may have worked for some.
09:47When I go home, if I'm ever in a relationship with someone,
09:49I'm just going to put it by their bedside table.
09:51Turn-ons!
09:56But Bertie is just not feeling it.
09:58I was the only person in the group to not do it.
10:01I didn't want to, like, say things in front of everybody, you know?
10:04I do kind of feel like I've been, like, the odd one out in the group now.
10:08I feel like I've just taken a bit of a setback after that.
10:12It certainly wasn't the most enjoyable workshop, put it that way.
10:15I felt a bit of uncomfortableness, like, everywhere, really.
10:24To help the group discover their turn-ons...
10:27Who's got the one-to-ones today, mate?
10:29..they'll all have one-on-ones.
10:31You've got Elil.
10:32Elil, OK. Which one's Elil?
10:35She's a sexological body worker.
10:36Ireland vibes.
10:38Thank you. Now I know.
10:40Starting with Alex, who has struggled to get turned on
10:43under the pressure of intimacy.
10:46Sex has been a sense of anxiety for me.
10:49Growing up, my dad was quite emotionally repressed,
10:52and he was very embarrassed himself.
10:53We had sex education in school at year five,
10:55and I talked to my dad about it, and he said,
10:58oh, that's rude, don't talk about that.
11:01I then became so embarrassed to talk or think about sex.
11:05Whenever sex or relationships or anything came on TV,
11:09I used to leave the room.
11:13It's estimated that half of modern men have experienced performance anxiety.
11:18To help Alex, sexological body worker Elil plans to get physical.
11:24I want to work with him on receiving touch for me
11:27and recognizing when that performance anxiety kicks in
11:31and letting me know what he needs in order to bring arousal up.
11:35So hopefully the erections will come when he has a lot of pleasure.
11:40Hello.
11:44So the idea of today is for us to do full body pleasure mapping.
11:49Mm-hm.
11:50You're going to be guiding the whole thing.
11:52Whenever you feel yourself starting to worry about performance,
11:56you can just say, like, can we slow down?
12:01So take your clothes off.
12:04I think I'd like to keep my boxers on.
12:07Yeah.
12:07OK.
12:08Pleasure mapping is an exercise
12:10where Elil touches Alex all over his body.
12:13So we can start laying down.
12:16Including his genitals.
12:18So Alex can lie back and concentrate on pleasure.
12:22Let's just have touched it.
12:23That feels nice.
12:24Yeah.
12:27I've heard three people that I would describe as a girlfriend.
12:33But I never had sex with anyone.
12:36The first time I tried, I had a panic attack.
12:38I was so nervous I couldn't get an erection.
12:40And I then convinced myself that sex is something, I guess,
12:46scary or nerve-wracking.
12:48It's constantly playing on my mind.
12:52Is this the right speed?
12:53Yeah, that's great.
12:57Very erotic.
12:59So touching close to your underwear line,
13:01it's almost like teasing you.
13:03Yeah.
13:04All right.
13:07What are you noticing?
13:08Getting more turned on.
13:10Mm-hmm.
13:11Really getting, like, excited.
13:12Mm-hmm.
13:14It felt really nice when you were brushing past my genitals.
13:17Would you like me to do that?
13:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:22And I love when you move like that.
13:24It kind of really lets me know that you're enjoying yourself.
13:39All right.
13:42Amazing.
13:43Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing.
13:46I'm going to take my hand off very slowly.
13:51Yeah.
13:52So, did you feel me fully aroused?
13:54Yeah.
13:55Could you feel you fully aroused?
13:57Yeah, yeah.
13:58Amazing.
14:01Have you ever felt aroused like that with someone?
14:04Not like that.
14:05Not to the point where I'm, like, moving my hips and feeling tingly.
14:09You are very, very erect.
14:11Yeah.
14:11You did so good.
14:13Thank you so much.
14:15Bye-bye.
14:16I don't think I've ever felt that sort of level of eroticism before.
14:20She's just had such a calming presence.
14:22So, yeah, feeling really good and sort of inspires confidence going forward.
14:30Hey, guys.
14:31How did your one-on-one go?
14:32Good.
14:33It went into genital touching and, yeah, that felt really good.
14:37I bet.
14:49It was really windy last night.
14:51Yeah.
14:51Like, for a while, I think, like, my tent was going to blow away.
14:54Oh, my God, do a Dorothy.
14:56Go to the yellow brick road.
14:57Celeste and Danielle have turned into a tin man and a scarecrow.
15:01I'll probably be the lion because I'm the cowardly one.
15:06It's the afternoon on Virgin Island.
15:09How does that feel?
15:11Yeah.
15:11Yeah, it feels good.
15:13As the one-on-one sessions continue.
15:15It's good.
15:16You seem more open to me.
15:18Just baby steps.
15:20The turn-on phase of the course is gathering pace.
15:23May I direct you in touching my breasts?
15:27Yeah.
15:27Yeah.
15:27Yes.
15:28And a little more pressure.
15:30OK.
15:31Yeah.
15:33And the group continues to open up to each other.
15:36When I was at school, all the boys, like, would walk past and be like,
15:41oh, you're all lesbians because you go to an all-girls school.
15:43Yeah.
15:44When I was, like, 12, I remember thinking,
15:47oh, my gosh, why has God given me so many gay friends?
15:49I now have to convert all of them.
15:51It took me a couple of years to realise that I was, in fact, one of them.
15:58Years of sexual anxiety have taken a physical toll on Joy.
16:01I have vaginismus.
16:03This physical and psychological problem, it causes pain.
16:07If I can't insert a finger into my vagina, you know, how can I physically have sex?
16:12With guidance from Malil, she'll learn how to relax her body around touch.
16:17We can actually practise towards penetration in a very slow process,
16:23creating an alignment between what the head wants to do
16:27and what the body actually feels comfortable with.
16:31Hello, beautiful.
16:36So, our intention for today is if you feel comfortable,
16:39we can explore the opening of your vagina.
16:42Sometimes that's been hard because it all, like, closed up.
16:46Yeah.
16:46Maybe we can see it today.
16:51I want you to just start by maybe putting your hands on your vulva.
16:57Yeah.
16:57Would you like to have a look where you're touching?
17:00Yeah.
17:00Elil encourages Joy to explore her body.
17:03Oh, my gosh, this is so weird.
17:04Can you see?
17:05And in doing so, change the way she feels about it.
17:09Take a moment to look at your vulva and connect to her.
17:12Yeah.
17:13Mm.
17:15She's beautiful.
17:16It's weird because I feel like she looks ugly.
17:19When I was 12, I had this realisation that I had been masturbating.
17:24I went to Christian camp and there was this call to come to the front for prayer for sexual sin.
17:31I felt convicted.
17:33Like, oh, my gosh, they're speaking about me.
17:34I've sinned.
17:35And I told my youth pastor and then she staged an intervention.
17:41Yeah.
17:42It stuck with me.
17:43It's been hard to get that out of my head.
17:46And now I want to be free to explore a sexual side to myself.
17:50I want to enjoy my life and accept myself.
17:54So what part are you curious about?
17:58I think I want to just touch the outer labia.
18:01Awesome.
18:02Can do like that.
18:04You can, like, bring a little bit of vibration.
18:09That's quite nice.
18:10Bit of rousing.
18:11Mm-hmm.
18:12Yeah.
18:13Do you want to try it with oil?
18:14Yeah.
18:17Put it all over your vulva.
18:19Mm-hmm.
18:22It does feel totally different.
18:24Yeah.
18:25Can you see your opening?
18:26Yeah.
18:27You can see a tiny dot there?
18:28Yeah.
18:29So that's your, that's your clit.
18:31Oh, that's so interesting.
18:32The clit is like a miniature penis.
18:34You will feel there's like a shaft.
18:37Oh.
18:37See if you can feel the shaft.
18:38Okay.
18:41Sexological bodywork includes one-way touch.
18:45Can I?
18:45Yeah.
18:46Yeah.
18:47Oh.
18:49Allowing a lil with consent to help Joy discover pleasure.
18:53So how does it feel?
18:55It feels really good.
18:57I can feel arousal.
18:59That's new.
19:06Awesome.
19:07Thank you very much for giving me this experience.
19:11It's such a precious feeling.
19:13It feels really special.
19:17It's like, it's like she's safe.
19:20She's safe.
19:20She's good.
19:22You got her.
19:24Yeah.
19:25And I know what she looks like now as well.
19:34Hiya.
19:35How was your thingy?
19:37Um, it was really good.
19:40Was it?
19:40Yeah, it was really good.
19:41She was like, you need to focus on what feels good for you.
19:44Yeah.
19:44The thing is just like, really?
19:46Like, I'm allowed?
19:48I feel really good.
19:49I feel really good, yeah.
19:51I just keep learning all these things about myself.
19:53So proud to really connect with my body and so pleased that I felt like we just had this breakthrough.
20:01Joy has leapt forwards, but not everyone is riding high.
20:05Bertie, would you like to join us slash would you like a blanket?
20:08Um, go on then.
20:10What, go on then to the blanket or go on then to joining us?
20:13I'll see what I'll do.
20:15See how you feel?
20:16Yeah.
20:16I think it's quite a chill convo at the moment.
20:18Yeah, I'll see what I can do.
20:19Lovely to talk to you.
20:21Nice to talk to you.
20:22I can socialise, don't worry.
20:23I know you can.
20:24I'm just inviting you to.
20:26I'll see.
20:28Do-do-do-do.
20:32Do-do-do-do.
20:35Do-do-do-do.
20:41Here are the clipboards.
20:44It's late afternoon.
20:46This questionnaire is multiple choice.
20:48Please choose all that apply.
20:50To help the group explore the type of person that turns them on.
20:54I've put boobs so far.
20:56The experts have handed out a list of questions.
21:00Body hair.
21:01I like my girls with a full beard, mate.
21:05Face shape.
21:06I've never thought about this.
21:07What's mine?
21:08Squ...
21:10Are you calling me a squid?
21:12I don't think the colour of hair or the colour of eyes matter as long as the hair looks presentable.
21:21Great hygiene.
21:23Yeah.
21:24Clean hands.
21:25Clean nails.
21:27And they've got to have...
21:28I'm going to put banter.
21:29Yeah.
21:30You know, a bit of banter.
21:34For Marianne, the questionnaire proves revealing.
21:38Ideal first date setting.
21:41I just want to go hiking and then have a picnic somewhere.
21:45But then I don't really necessarily want to be alone with a guy hiking on the first date.
21:48Yeah.
21:49It depends on how safe I feel, you know.
21:53A lot goes on in my head all the time.
21:57Because I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was about four.
22:00And there's just a lot of emotions.
22:02Like, I'm never not thinking about safety.
22:04Like, when people do one night stands in my head, I'm like,
22:07X, Y, Z could go wrong.
22:08How are you going to an unknown place with this?
22:10My brain goes sort of into overdrive.
22:13I don't trust men.
22:16Right.
22:17You're done. Dusted.
22:18High five.
22:20Cool.
22:21Yeah, I know it is me, but I don't know how to move forward.
22:28Marianne is very much in her head.
22:32She's trying to manage her boundaries so she won't get hurt.
22:37And in that way, she's holding herself back from fully experiencing life.
22:44Good to see you.
22:47Danielle wants to try and help Marianne confront her barriers.
22:51What do you want for yourself in the retreat?
22:54When it comes to sort of entity, I always just have...
22:57I'm just... My first thought is just safety.
22:59So a lot of what you're trying to do now is really, like,
23:03keep yourself in check.
23:06If, like, it just feels like I'm all alone and I have to put up a guard.
23:12I'm just saying sort of no to everything.
23:14And I think my yourself feels quite sad that I'm still stuck with that feeling.
23:28I feel like I had a lot of issues growing up in South Africa.
23:31In school, I was one of three mixed-race girls
23:35and we didn't really know how to fit in
23:37because we weren't, like, black enough for the black guys,
23:39white enough for the white guys.
23:41I get viewed as this exotic thing.
23:45Sweetheart. It's okay if I put my hand on my hair?
23:48It's fine. Yeah.
23:49It has been sort of like a competition of guys.
23:51They would never be in a relationship with us,
23:53but they just want to, like, get our clothes off.
23:55And so it's really, really hard for me to, like, trust men.
24:01I just feel...
24:03Yeah.
24:04...that I'm missing out on things
24:05and I can't differentiate, like, what's actual fear
24:08and what's just, like...
24:10Protection.
24:10Yeah.
24:13Can I please have a hug?
24:14Oh, I would love to.
24:20Marianne needs to learn to trust that men
24:23don't necessarily want to take advantage of her.
24:27And working with men to deal with all those issues,
24:31that's her biggest challenge on the island.
24:43Thank you so much.
24:44My pleasure.
24:47I knew I was going to be emotional,
24:49but everything sort of hit me.
24:58It was nice to have this session
25:00because, like, I can just think more clearly
25:03about what's to come,
25:05but that's quite daunting.
25:21Morning.
25:22Morning.
25:22Morning, Marianne.
25:25Another day begins on Virgin Island.
25:28Oh, I've got hot dog down my boot.
25:31That'd be a treat for someone later.
25:35And it's the turn-ons phase of the course.
25:38Never knock a proper cover.
25:40This phase is pretty intimidating.
25:43I always thought myself as dead playful, dead flirty,
25:47but I started being really sheltered,
25:49so I do feel like I've got a lot to learn.
25:53I personally feel a bit deflated,
25:56a bit dejected.
25:58I'm lacking behind.
26:00I know it's a marathon and not a sprint,
26:02but some people are running.
26:05I'm trudging.
26:08The phase is exposing deep-seated fears.
26:14When it comes to younger people around intimacy and touch,
26:18there's just a lot more self-consciousness.
26:20A lot of people are afraid, you know,
26:21oh, maybe I'm going to get cancelled or cross a boundary.
26:25Nowadays, there is a lot of risk in saying the wrong thing.
26:28Like, if I make a weird, stupid mistake talking to a girl,
26:32that's done, isn't it?
26:33I don't want to do something wrong.
26:34I don't want to do things too fast or too slow.
26:38If I do come across as a creep in any way, shape or form,
26:40I don't mean to.
26:42I'm so scared of the thought of that happening.
26:44What do you think we're going to do?
26:46I have no idea.
26:49Having already worked on discovering their turn-ons...
26:52Oh, this is so scary.
26:55Celeste and Danielle now want the group to feel it in their bodies.
26:59This is a really safe place that we can practise.
27:02It's touching all over each other's bodies.
27:04This exercise can definitely get people aroused.
27:07And, frankly, I hope it does.
27:13Okay.
27:14One of the things that really gets in the way of us feeling our turn-ons is inhibition.
27:20And today's workshop is all about letting out your inner animal.
27:30So we're going to do a little demo and then you'll get a chance to practice with each other.
27:35Sex doesn't have to be this thing that is very curated.
27:39It can be animalistic and fun.
27:41Animal game, you don't need much to be good at it.
27:44It's more about connecting with your own impulses and unleashing your inner animal.
27:52There's another animal just next to you.
27:58And you can smell...
28:00There's another animal just next to you and there...
28:02There.
28:03There.
28:04There.
28:08There.
28:11There.
28:15There.
28:17There.
28:22There.
28:24There.
28:26Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
28:37Laugh-gasm.
28:39Laugh.
28:42OK.
28:47I'm looking for a brave volunteer.
28:55Birdie?
28:55I've got an injured foot.
28:58I know it sounds like a lame excuse, but with, like, my foot and everything, it's...
29:01OK.
29:03Anyone else?
29:04Can I do it with you, Marianne?
29:05Yes.
29:05I'm going to go with Marianne.
29:06Great.
29:07Wonderful.
29:10Joy takes the opportunity to practise with a woman.
29:15So just take some nice, deep breaths in and out.
29:22When you feel ready, start exploring each other with your hands.
29:32Good.
29:33I love the way you're staying with the sensation and with your own bodies.
29:52And how was that for you?
29:54Marianne made me feel very safe.
29:56Same.
29:57It was very fun.
30:01As more of the group step up.
30:03Just follow what your body wants to do.
30:06I know.
30:08Their animal instincts start to emerge.
30:13Touching and sensing.
30:24Anyone else?
30:28Fuck it.
30:29Yes, Bertie.
30:30Yay!
30:32Up until now, Bertie keeps holding back.
30:35If I don't do it now, I'll regret it later.
30:38I think this is the worst time to be a young adult.
30:43Because if you're someone like me who struggles with approaching and talking to women, it's near impossible.
30:50Right.
30:52I constantly think about what I could do wrong rather than what I could do right.
30:58But I have to do this because I want to improve my life.
31:04I can't do it.
31:05Start noticing that there's an animal inside you and you can rub against them.
31:14Mmm.
31:16You can hold.
31:17I can hold.
31:19Are you okay?
31:20I'm good, yeah.
31:21Yeah?
31:21You sure?
31:22Yeah, I'm fine.
31:22I'm fine.
31:23You're getting comfy business, you?
31:24Yeah.
31:31That's okay.
31:33Yeah.
31:34Let yourself feel how good it feels.
31:48I think we're done.
31:54Amazing.
31:54You want to share a little bit?
31:56I was a bit apprehensive about doing it at first.
31:58I thought you were doing a good job.
31:59It just all felt natural and not really nice.
32:02You've got nice hair to touch as well.
32:03All that wax has come in handy.
32:05That's what it is.
32:10There we go.
32:12Well done to you.
32:20So, how was that?
32:23I was still in that, like, ooh, frisky mood, let's say.
32:27And I was like, okay.
32:28So, I'm going to just have to calm myself back down and start from Bertie's level.
32:32All right, Bertie.
32:33Hello.
32:34How did you find it?
32:35Good, good.
32:36You had the right amount of pressure on me that I like.
32:38It felt so natural and I was like, this is...
32:41Yeah.
32:42Oh, I think to say this is one of the bravest things I've done would be the understatement
32:46of the millennium.
32:48This isn't peer pressure or anything like that.
32:51I just feel like I kind of have to participate because if I am going on this island to be
32:58the
32:58same old person that I was for all my life, what am I doing here?
33:05As the course is going on, I can see people learning and changing.
33:09Everybody's trying new things.
33:11But for some people, therapy is very slow and totally goes at the pace of the client.
33:22Bertie may be working things out, but discovering turn-ons for some is slow progress.
33:27Nice.
33:28Guys, do you like hairy vaginas?
33:31I actually don't care.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Each to their own.
33:35And it starts coming out of their nicker line and you're like, oh, God, you need to shave.
33:39Oh, no.
33:40I don't really look after myself very much, but...
33:43No-one's seeing it, so...
33:45After this, that won't be true.
33:50Intimacy is challenging for everyone on the island.
33:54But for 21-year-old Callum, it's also linked to tragedy.
33:58My dad passed away two years ago.
34:00He was an alcoholic.
34:06I don't really know how to respond to it.
34:10I'm living on my own in his house where he used to live and probably spend...
34:16It's probably about 16 hours a day gaming.
34:19Erm, I suppose it is a way to escape everything in the world.
34:24I struggle to meet people in person.
34:26It makes me feel...
34:28..alone.
34:33The experts want Callum to tackle his grief.
34:37Hi.
34:38Hello.
34:38With clinical therapist, Abby.
34:44Are there times in your life where you felt uncomfortable talking about these things?
34:48Yeah, I think so.
34:50I'm never really honest or open.
34:52I think it was when my dad passed that I really started to notice a lot of the stuff about
34:56myself.
34:57Talk to me a little bit about that.
35:01I really punished myself about everything.
35:04Yeah, he got admitted to hospital because he'd fallen.
35:07He was on the floor for two days and he couldn't get up.
35:10He couldn't reach his phone to tell anyone.
35:12Yeah.
35:13And the next day being told that, you know, he's not got long left to live.
35:18So...
35:18He died within two weeks.
35:20Yeah.
35:21He got...
35:22It's okay.
35:24Liver cirrhosis.
35:26Talk about the feeling that comes up around that.
35:28I still feel like I...
35:29I failed him.
35:31That's not...
35:32It's not for you to take on.
35:38Is it reasonable for you to take responsibility of that?
35:41Maybe not.
35:44What are the thoughts running in your head?
35:49Regret?
35:50Yeah.
35:55I just want to make him proud and not flatten his name.
36:02You're making him proud.
36:11It's really emotional because a lot of it is shit, basically, that I'd hate dealing with.
36:17But I've never really had that emotional response.
36:20And I spoke properly with someone who understands it.
36:23And it's kind of been a fuzzy feeling.
36:26I just feel...
36:27I feel like I'm on a lot of steam.
36:29I want to run around.
36:36Hello.
36:37Hello.
36:38Hello.
36:38How did it go?
36:39Very emotional.
36:40Looking at shit from a different angle, I suppose.
36:43Do you feel good that it's been, like, off your chest?
36:46Mmm.
36:47Tell you what, though, it's so hot in the teepee.
36:49I sweated it all out, so...
36:52It wasn't tears, it was just sweat coming at your eyes.
36:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:55It wasn't tears, no.
37:06Are you going to bomb it in?
37:08Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:09It's late afternoon.
37:11Look, he just, like, glided in.
37:14And many of the group are embracing island life.
37:17To be a man, hey.
37:18Get your hair wet and just, like, come out and be fine.
37:21Yeah, yeah.
37:21Not need to moisturise, yeah.
37:23Not need to, like, shower.
37:25Well, I think men need showers.
37:27I hope, I hope they shower.
37:30As some take a dip,
37:32the experts have decided it's time for others to immerse themselves
37:36in the retreat's most advanced therapy,
37:38undertaken by three specialists.
37:42Surrogate partner therapy works with the surrogate partner
37:45and the client, practising with everything from different kinds
37:48of touch, through genital touching, oral sex, or even intercourse,
37:53so that people can practise the full range of sexual experiences.
37:57First is 35-year-old Ellen.
38:00Hello.
38:01Hello.
38:01Hello.
38:03Hello.
38:03While all surrogate partner therapy is supported by clinical therapist Abby.
38:07What I do is therapeutic, emotional discussion.
38:11Kat will be Ellen's surrogate partner therapist.
38:14So I do the relationship side.
38:17Doing touch work and relational work is, like, completely led by you.
38:21OK.
38:21And hands are, like, really important in lesbian sex.
38:25Yeah.
38:27Meanwhile, Tegan will work with surrogate partner therapist Rizden.
38:30And notice the sensation of me touching you.
38:38How did that feel?
38:39It felt good. It felt really nice.
38:41OK, great.
38:42But before Marianne can consider a surrogate relationship,
38:45she first has to learn to trust men.
38:49It gets to a point where I need to feel the energy.
38:52You can feel they want more.
38:54And I can't cross the boundary.
38:55Just can't.
38:56My brain just gets stuck.
38:58I really want to challenge myself.
39:00I want to do it with a guy and see how I feel.
39:06Trust is everything.
39:08Out of all my friends, I'm the only virgin.
39:10And I do feel lonely.
39:12But I do want to be in a relationship with someone.
39:15If I haven't figured it out by 26 years,
39:18then clearly I do need some help.
39:21First step for Marianne...
39:23Hello.
39:25..is simply being comfortable in the same room
39:27as potential surrogate partner Andre.
39:31How are you feeling now?
39:33A little bit anxious in my stomach.
39:35OK.
39:35And that's just because of unknowns and things.
39:39Yeah.
39:39Working with Marianne,
39:41it's very important that we start slowly
39:44to build the trust in myself.
39:46I'm going to be moving around the room
39:49and going to be noticing how your body
39:53is reacting to where I am.
39:55The idea is just to learn how someone being close to you
39:58can potentially feel.
40:01Yeah.
40:01OK.
40:02So go ahead and close your eyes.
40:10And so I've moved.
40:12You might feel I'm further away.
40:20See if there's any noticeable change in sensation.
40:27Growing up, I really never saw how a relationship should be.
40:33My dad just wasn't there.
40:36And seven, eight years ago, I found out I had a new half-sister.
40:39My dad was just sort of collecting mini-families.
40:43Yeah.
40:46Just noticing what's happening in your body.
40:50So anything that reminds me of my dad, you're instantly vetoed.
40:54Trust-wise, I'm very sceptical.
40:59What was, like, kind of going on in your head?
41:03By the end, I liked it.
41:06Hmm.
41:07It just felt warm by the end.
41:10I felt, if I'm being honest, more sort of turned on
41:13with the second one that was there for some reason.
41:16Oh, wonderful.
41:17OK, great.
41:18I feel a lot more relaxed here.
41:21OK.
41:22After the exercise...
41:24What a hug.
41:24I would love a hug.
41:26Marianne is clearly calmer.
41:29It helps that you smell like salted caramel.
41:31Mmm, do I really?
41:32Yeah.
41:33It's very, like... I like that.
41:36I'm feeling a lot more reassured working with a guy.
41:40He's very lovely and I felt very relaxed.
41:44It has helped my brain not be as fearful.
41:50I'm really proud of myself.
41:55Hi.
41:56Hi, Marianne.
41:56Welcome back.
41:57How did your one-to-one go?
41:59It was...
42:00Good.
42:01Hell, yeah.
42:01Nice to meet you.
42:02How many people can actually fit in this bed?
42:04That's a real question.
42:05Bertie, do you want to come join us in the bed?
42:07Um...
42:08Actually, please do.
42:09It's an open invitation.
42:11All right, no worries.
42:14After getting back on track earlier,
42:16the experts don't want Bertie to lose momentum again.
42:20Bertie jumped up.
42:21I thought he was going to use his foot as an excuse,
42:23but he didn't and he was so good.
42:26He seemed so sensual, so, like, um, animalistic.
42:30It's really important that he feels successful.
42:32Yeah.
42:34When it comes to dating and sex,
42:38I just want to be able to be more confident in myself
42:41and know what I'm doing,
42:43because the thought of me approaching a woman
42:47and asking them out,
42:48it would make them think,
42:50oh, God, this is embarrassing.
42:52What have I done to deserve being asked out by Bertie?
42:57To help boost his confidence...
42:59Good afternoon.
43:00Good afternoon.
43:01Celeste wants to push Bertie's boundaries.
43:05How was the workshop for you?
43:06I know I got a few things wrong,
43:08but that was the first time I didn't really feel uncomfortable.
43:11I was super proud and impressed,
43:13and I think we can use this session
43:15to just do more kinds of practices
43:17that would be helpful for you.
43:19Sounds good.
43:19To get more technique together.
43:21It's a good job I brushed my teeth, then.
43:27Celeste starts...
43:28So try to, like, lay me back.
43:30Like this?
43:31Yeah, exactly.
43:33Simulating the missionary position.
43:35How am I going to do this?
43:36It'll be awkward at first.
43:38Yeah.
43:38So don't worry about that, OK?
43:39OK.
43:40Teaching Bertie the basics.
43:42And then you want to line up so that your dick is connected to my pussy.
43:47Oh, God.
43:48OK.
43:48OK.
43:50Right?
43:51Like this?
43:52Yeah, exactly.
43:58And you'll need to hold up some of your weight.
44:01Yeah, sorry.
44:02No, it's OK.
44:02And if you want me to show you what I mean,
44:04I'm happy to do that.
44:05That's fine, you can if you want to.
44:06If you lie down.
44:09OK, so if I'm on top of you.
44:11Yeah.
44:12See how, like, I'm not all the way down here.
44:15Yeah, no.
44:15It's just a little too much pressure on the chest.
44:17Yeah.
44:18Yes.
44:23When you thrust, I want you to imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
44:27Like...
44:28Put this.
44:28Yes, exactly.
44:29Yes.
44:31Yes.
44:33You want to try a dog?
44:34Let's try it.
44:35OK.
44:38Then you get between my legs.
44:40Yeah.
44:40Then you pull me up.
44:42Exactly.
44:44You can kind of be all the way up.
44:46Yes.
44:47Yes.
44:47Yes.
44:48Good.
44:50Yeah, like that.
44:55Thank you very much.
44:56I feel lightheaded.
44:57Oh, yes, I bet.
44:59You are an absolute miracle worker.
45:01I ain't leaving.
45:02Thank you very much.
45:03I'm just going to be rooting you on in every moment.
45:06Oh, yeah.
45:07That's kind of weird.
45:12Oh, Bertie boy.
45:14Hi.
45:14Hello.
45:15How was it?
45:15Good.
45:16Celeste has taught me how certain sexual positions work.
45:21Wow.
45:21So, yeah.
45:24I feel very happy at the moment.
45:26It's amazing what a bit of rolling around on the floor doing different sexual positions
45:32can do to one's mentality.
45:34But I've made progress and I'm proud of myself for that.
45:38And I'm thankful for everything that Celeste has taught me.
45:42Oh, my God.
45:46All that thrusting has made me hurt my bollocks.
45:52It's because I have to sleep on my back tonight.
45:54Christ almighty.
45:56Next time.
45:57Look at my pussy.
45:59I'm definitely a lesbian.
46:00The dating phase panics Ellen.
46:03I just don't feel like I'm good enough.
46:06Alex ups his game.
46:07Do you want to see how hard you are?
46:09And things heat up.
46:11Cheers.
46:12With Island Dates.
46:13I'm so nervous still.
46:14Why?
46:15I think it's because it's you.
46:43This is not even in the video.
46:45It will be as well.
46:45Listen to the TV show.
46:45Go for it.
46:45It's your name.
46:46You can tell.
46:46Go for it.
46:46Follow for it.
46:47Go.
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