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مسلسل Brooklyn Nine-Nine مترجم - Episode 1
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00:01This job is eating me alive.
00:04I can't breathe anymore.
00:06I spent all these years trying to be the good guy.
00:09The man in the white hat.
00:12I'm not becoming like them.
00:15I am them.
00:17Hey! What are you doing, weirdo?
00:19I'm doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco.
00:21Or, actually, ten of me are doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco.
00:26What's up?
00:27Get it together, man, okay?
00:29So the store was hit about two hours ago.
00:31They took mostly tablets, laptops, and cameras.
00:37Sorry.
00:39I'd like a list of all your employees, whoever had access to the store.
00:43I'd also like to apologize for my partner.
00:45His parents didn't give him enough attention.
00:47Uh, detective, I already solved the case.
00:49We're looking for three white males, one of whom has sleeved hats on both arms.
00:53And how do you know that?
00:54I had an informant on the inside.
00:56He's been here for years.
00:58Watching.
00:58Learning.
01:00Waiting.
01:01His code name?
01:03Fuzzy Cuddle Bear.
01:05He's a nanny cam.
01:07Ugh, you got lucky.
01:09No, I got here five minutes before you and figured that in this gigantic electronic store,
01:13there had to be at least one working camera.
01:15Oh.
01:15Hi, bad guys.
01:16You did it, Fuzzy.
01:18You busted him.
01:19It's time to come home.
01:21I'm not sure if I can.
01:22I've been undercover so long, I've forgotten who I am.
01:26I've seen terrible things.
01:28I haven't known the touch of a woman in many moons.
01:30Sorry.
01:32Detective Santiago!
01:34Don't walk away from me!
01:47Yes, I did crack the case.
01:50So, Santiago, would you do the honors?
01:57I hate this.
01:58Oh, yeah.
01:59I hate this.
02:00And you're just gonna wanna add one.
02:02I'm winning.
02:05It's a good feeling.
02:06It's a good feeling, yeah.
02:08Enjoy it while it lasts.
02:10I will.
02:11JP, update on the Morgenthau murder?
02:14Yeah!
02:14Good news for all you murder fans.
02:16Earlier this morning, someone decided to shoot and kill luxury food importer,
02:21Henry Morgenthau.
02:23Body was found by the cleaning lady.
02:25During her interview, I deduced, using expert detective work, that she had something super
02:29gross on her chin.
02:31I think it was flan.
02:33Charles thinks it was flan.
02:34I think it was butterscotch pudding.
02:35Maybe it's just old person gunk.
02:37You know how old people always have that gunk on them?
02:39Oldie gunk could be, yeah.
02:41How about we focus on the murder and not the old person gunk?
02:45Crime techs are at the scene now.
02:46We're heading back when they're done.
02:47Okay, I want you on this.
02:49It's gonna be priority one for the new CO.
02:50Wait, tell us about the new captain.
02:52Captain Hull will be here soon.
02:54He'll want to introduce himself.
02:55Dismissed.
03:00Hey, Gina, you know any scalpers?
03:03I want to ask Rosa to go to the Rihanna concert with me, but it's sold out.
03:06Okay, two points to make here.
03:08First, Rihanna, you, and then Rihanna.
03:13Yeah, what's your second point?
03:15She's got a type, which is really anyone but you.
03:18Yeah, that was my ex-wife's type, too.
03:21Look, a Rihanna concert's a pretty big swing, man.
03:25I don't know.
03:25She's into watching old movies.
03:27Cool.
03:28Where would I find a place that shows old movies?
03:31Oh, yeah, just go on the internet and search for the phrase,
03:35I want to buy two movie tickets for a girl who doesn't like me.
03:39Great.
03:40Good.
03:42Hey, you heard anything about the new captain?
03:45Uh, no, and I don't care.
03:46I just wish Captain McGinley never left.
03:48He was the best.
03:49He was terrible.
03:51Just liked him because he let you do anything you wanted.
03:53On your marks, get set, go.
03:57What the hell's going on around here?
04:00Fire extinguisher roller chair derby.
04:02Okay.
04:03And go!
04:11What's your point?
04:13If I'm ever going to be captain, I need a good mentor.
04:15I need my rabbi.
04:16Sorry, dude.
04:17But this new guy's going to be another washed-up pencil pusher,
04:19who's only concerned with...
04:21Following every rule in the patrol guide.
04:24Meet Morp-Z.
04:25Robot captain, engage.
04:28Is that what you think?
04:28Hey!
04:30New captain alert.
04:33You must be the new CEO.
04:34I'm Detective Jake Peralta.
04:35Great to meet you.
04:36No, don't let me interrupt.
04:37You were describing what kind of person I'm going to be.
04:39I'd like you to finish.
04:41It's not necessary.
04:44Or I could recap very quickly, sure.
04:48Um, let's see.
04:49I think I said some joke about being a washed-up pencil pusher.
04:53Now, do the robot voice.
04:54The robot voice you were doing when you implied I'm a rule-following robot.
04:58I want to hear it again.
05:04Meet Morp-Zarp-Robot.
05:09That's a terrible robot voice.
05:11Yep.
05:12The next time I see you, I'd like you to be wearing a necktie.
05:14Oh, uh, actually, the last captain didn't care if we wore ties.
05:18Well, your new captain does.
05:19And more importantly, he cares that you follow his direct orders.
05:23Everyone, I'm your new commanding officer, Captain Ray Holt.
05:27Speech!
05:28That was my speech.
05:29Short and sweet.
05:30Sergeant Jeffords, a word.
05:33Yes, sir.
05:36I love that guy.
05:37Same.
05:38He's so suave.
05:40Does anyone get a little bit of a gay vibe?
05:44No.
05:45Okay.
05:46Sergeant, you were in the 1-8 with me.
05:49Though you were significantly...
05:52Fatter, sir.
05:53They called me Terry Titties.
05:55Because I had large, uh...
05:58Titties, yes.
05:58I remember.
05:59I never liked that nickname.
06:01Though, to be fair, it was accurate.
06:03What's it say here about you being on administrative leave?
06:05A year ago, my wife and I had twin baby girls.
06:10Um...
06:10Cagney and Lacey.
06:11They have adorable chubby cheeks.
06:13Ever since, I kind of got scared of getting hurt.
06:17Lost my edge.
06:18There was an incident in a department store.
06:21Hey, man.
06:22You okay?
06:23You look a little chubby.
06:23I'm fine.
06:25I'm fine.
06:26I'm fine.
06:32I think he's dead.
06:34And I'm still not right.
06:37Tell me about your detective squad.
06:40Um...
06:41Well, Scully, Hitchcock, and Daniels.
06:43They're pretty much worthless.
06:45But they make good coffee.
06:46Copy that.
06:48Now the good ones.
06:49Rosa Diaz.
06:51Tough.
06:51Smart.
06:52Hard to read and really scary.
06:56Tell me who has me for Secret Santa.
06:58Oh, that takes all the fun out of it.
07:02It's Scully.
07:03He got you a scarf.
07:04I'll make him return it.
07:05Yes, you will.
07:08Charles Boyle.
07:09He's a grinder.
07:10Not the most brilliant detective,
07:11but he works harder than anyone else.
07:13He's not physically... gifted.
07:18Oh, man.
07:18My muffin.
07:20Ah!
07:21Oh, my head.
07:23My muffin.
07:23My head.
07:24And I stepped on my muffin on my head on my muffin.
07:27Amy Santiago.
07:29She's got seven brothers,
07:31so she's always trying to prove she's tough.
07:33Careful, that stuff's pretty hot.
07:36Oh, is it?
07:48She and Peralta have some big bet over who gets more rest this year.
07:52Ever since the bet, their numbers have gone way up.
07:55Tell me about Peralta.
07:56Jacob Peralta is my best detective.
07:59He likes putting away bad guys, and he loves solving puzzles.
08:02The only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up.
08:07That was very well put.
08:09I've talked a lot about Jake in my departmentally mandated therapy sessions.
08:13Look, you know my history.
08:15You know how important this is to me.
08:17This precinct is doing fine, but I want to make it the best one in Brooklyn.
08:20And I need your help.
08:22Absolutely, sir.
08:23Where do we start?
08:26What is happening?
08:28We start with him.
08:34Okay, so the perp came in through the window,
08:37left the muddy red footprint, and apparently had sex with the dish rack.
08:40Shell casings found here.
08:41Two shots.
08:42Bang, bang.
08:43Great work, detective.
08:45You get a tie.
08:46That's mine. You took it from my desk.
08:48That's right, Charles. Good solved. Tie for you.
08:50Thanks.
08:51Now everyone be sure to put those on,
08:52because it's impossible to solve crimes unless you're wearing a tie.
08:55Lay off the captain.
08:57That man is going to be my rabbi.
08:58Okay, first of all, when you use the word rabbi, you know that turns me on,
09:01and that's unfair in the work environment.
09:03Secondly, your rabbi is a pain in my ass.
09:05Yeah, he's a little too serious.
09:07What do you think, Rosa?
09:08Seems cool.
09:09Yeah, he seems cool. I agree.
09:10Looks like the perp stole a computer, a watch, and a jamon iberico ham,
09:15valued at what? $6,000.
09:18$6,000 for a ham?
09:20Hamon iberico is an amazing cured ham from Spain.
09:24They had it at my uncle's funeral.
09:25I gorged myself at that funeral.
09:27I mean, I was constipated for three days.
09:29Wow, that's a great story, Charles. Thank you.
09:32All right, listen up, everybody.
09:33Better contact Captain Holt. Let him know we got a ten-tie situation.
09:36Speaking of ties, where's yours, Meat Morp?
09:39Fantastic.
09:40Captain, hey! Welcome to the murder. What are you doing here?
09:44I'd like to know what my detectives are up to. Is that okay about you?
09:47Take Santiago and knock on doors. See if the neighbors heard anything.
09:50Door duty? It's a waste of time.
09:52Diaz and Boyle. Check in with the coroner. Report back to me in an hour.
09:57That went well.
09:58No, it didn't.
10:00He's got, like, super hearing.
10:02Hey, Rosa. Rosa. Rosa.
10:05I just happened to notice that there's an old movie festival played at the Film Forum this week.
10:13Wanna go?
10:14Sure.
10:16Cool. Awesome.
10:17There's a bunch of movie options.
10:19I'll probably just go with something classic, like Citizen Kane.
10:23Citizen Kane is terrible. Pick a good movie.
10:26Good call. Smart.
10:28I'll do it. I'll pick a better movie than Citizen Kane.
10:34So, Gina, civilian administrators like yourself often have their ear to the ground.
10:39What do Santiago and Peralta have riding on this bed of theirs?
10:42I will tell you on six conditions.
10:45Number one, you let me use your office to practice my dance moves.
10:48Second...
10:49How about this? If you tell me, I won't have you suspended without pay.
10:54Oh, that sounds great. Okay?
10:56The deal is, if Amy gets more rest, Jake has to give her his car.
11:00It's an old Mustang. It's pretty sweet.
11:02If he gets more rest, she has to go on a date with him.
11:07He guarantees it will end in sex.
11:10I'd bet on at least some over-the-clothes action, at the very least some touching...
11:15No, that's an up, Gina.
11:16...rests. I could see him showing up in a silk robe.
11:19That's an up, Gina.
11:20All right.
11:21Let the wasting of time begin.
11:26Hello, sir. Can we ask you a few questions?
11:29Definitely. Yeah.
11:30I'm actually, I'm super glad you guys are here right now.
11:33Are you smelling that weed smell?
11:34Yeah.
11:35Cause a dude broke in, smoked weed, and bolted.
11:39That's...
11:39Do you think it's the same dude that left that bong there on the floor?
11:44Yes?
11:46Police!
11:49Hello.
11:50Hello.
11:51What's your name?
11:52My name?
11:53Milipnos.
11:54Can you spell that, please?
11:55M-L-E-P-Clay.
12:01Did you say clay?
12:02Yes, the clay is silent.
12:03All right, got it.
12:05Have you seen this man before?
12:06He was shot last night.
12:09Oh, thank you.
12:11No, sir, that's ours.
12:13We need that.
12:13We...
12:13Andy kept it.
12:15Wall Street Journal on the doormat.
12:17Top floor apartment.
12:1820 bucks says this guy's like a hot, eligible bachelor.
12:21I'll take that action.
12:22Police, open up!
12:26Hello.
12:28Hello, sir. How are you today?
12:30I am Detective Wright all the time.
12:32And this is my partner, Detective Terrible Detective.
12:37No surprises from the corner.
12:39Two gunshots, shoulder and chest.
12:40None of the neighbors heard or saw anything.
12:42And what's worse, San Diego struck out with a 92-year-old.
12:46That is not accurate, sir.
12:47Wait, you hooked up with him?
12:48Ugh.
12:49All right, hit the pawn shops and canvas the neighborhood.
12:51And while you're out, you can buy yourself a tie.
12:52Oh, actually, sir, I'm wearing a tie right now.
12:56Check it out.
12:58Secret tie!
12:59First of all, I think you're kind of overdoing it with the manscaping.
13:02But more importantly, Detective, why do you refuse to take my orders seriously?
13:06Does anyone here know why it's so important to me that you all dress appropriately?
13:11Hmm.
13:11Four highly trained detectives, and not one of you, can solve this simple mystery.
13:15Okay, I want to be briefed on any new developments.
13:18Any questions?
13:18I was gonna ask you if you thought I was doing too much manscaping, but we solved that one,
13:22so I'm good.
13:24Hey, Boyle.
13:24Yeah?
13:25What about this fancy ham stuff?
13:26I'm on Iberico.
13:27Yes.
13:27The perp left a really expensive TV, but then stole ham?
13:30Doesn't make sense.
13:31Is there a place nearby the crime scene that sells it?
13:34Beneficio's might.
13:35Let's go.
13:36You gotta brief the CEO first.
13:38Brief him after we catch the guy.
13:42My name is Ratko.
13:44I don't know anything.
13:45Oh.
13:46Okay.
13:46You recognize this guy, Henry Morgenthau?
13:49No.
13:51Maybe actually look at the picture.
13:54I don't know him.
13:54I don't know what happened.
13:56No more questions.
13:57Well, why don't I run a scenario past you, Ratko, and you tell me what you think.
14:00You do know Morgenthau.
14:01He came in here, tried to sell you some hams.
14:03You knew they were worth a lot of money, so you tried to steal them from him when he wasn't
14:06home.
14:06Only he was home, so you shot him.
14:08Does that sound familiar?
14:09Uh, maybe some role play will jack your memory?
14:12Great idea.
14:12Okay, yeah.
14:13Uh, so I'm, I'm Ratko.
14:15No, no, I'm Ratko.
14:15Come on.
14:16I'm always the victim.
14:17Look, I'm not doing this with you right here.
14:19Fine, fine.
14:20Oh, I'm Henry Morgenthau, owner of Delicious and Expensive Hams.
14:25Don't I know you from the grocery store?
14:26Kill.
14:27And scene.
14:30NYPD!
14:31Everyone down!
14:33Ma'am, if you could just get down.
14:34Or ignore me and continue shopping.
14:36Boyle, get the door!
14:38On it!
14:39Ratko!
14:44Ratko!
14:58I'm getting mad!
15:00It's a waste of man Chago!
15:01The waste of man Chago!
15:01Charles!
15:06How are you still here?
15:08Jake!
15:08No help!
15:09Er!
15:10Burn them!
15:10Put that boat anywhere, Jake!
15:12Ratko!
15:13I'm going!
15:14I got him!
15:15I got him!
15:15No, am I!
15:16Oh!
15:16I got him!
15:18So, no, I did not brief you, and yes, he did get away, but some bonus good news, I got
15:26you hazelnut, and a little spoon there for you.
15:36Is he seriously assigning me to the records room?
15:39I mean, why do we even have a records room?
15:41The computer's been invented, right?
15:42I didn't dream it.
15:43You're lucky, man.
15:44I wish I could get assigned here full time.
15:46You could not be farther from the action.
15:50Sergeant, you know me.
15:51I have more arrests than anyone.
15:53Will you please tell the captain how dumb it is to lock his best detective in a file cabinet?
15:56Second best.
15:57You're wrong about Ho.
15:58That man has forgotten more about being a cop than you will ever know.
16:02In 1981, he caught the disco strangler.
16:07It's over, disco man.
16:09Put down the yo-yo and back away from the girl.
16:14Wow.
16:14The man is the real deal.
16:16You need to listen to him.
16:19It can be hard to win our bet when you're on the bench, Peralta.
16:22Although, I did start a new category.
16:26Murderers, we let go.
16:27And look at that.
16:29You're winning.
16:31Have fun with your files.
16:32Yeah, you know what?
16:33I will have fun with my files.
16:34Have fun with your face!
16:38Slam!
16:40That was a slam!
16:44So, what movie did you get us tickets to?
16:46Oh, well, just to be safe, I bought tickets to all of them.
16:50Just to be safe?
16:51What does that mean?
16:52I don't know.
16:53Well, I didn't want to mess up because you're sort of opinionated.
16:57You think I'm opinionated?
16:59Okay, here's an opinion for you.
17:00You're a bad judge of character and your shirt looks like vomit.
17:04So, we can go see North by Northwest.
17:06We're not seeing a movie together.
17:07Good call.
17:08Smart.
17:08Keep it refresh.
17:21Hey, Captain.
17:22So, you found something?
17:22Hey.
17:23I like the tie.
17:25If you can't beat him, join him.
17:27Anyway, I think I got something good here.
17:28Turns out the name Radco is made up.
17:30But, I was digging through these files, one of which I literally found in a spider web.
17:34It turns out there were a bunch of references to a Serbian thug, street names The Rat and The Butcher,
17:39who's known to hang out at a storage unit near Borum Park, which has red soil,
17:44hence the muddy red footprint on Morgenthau's counter.
17:49That's fine work, Detective.
17:51Thank you very much, sir.
17:53A testament to what can be achieved when you dress appropriately.
17:57Let's pound it out.
18:02You know what?
18:03Such fine police work.
18:06Let's share it with the whole team.
18:08Santiago, Boyle, Diaz, get in here.
18:10Bring everyone.
18:11And a camera.
18:12That's not necessary.
18:13Let's have a hand for the work of the fine master detective, Jake Peralta.
18:17Yeah, let's have a hand, everyone.
18:19Give him a hand.
18:19Yeah, nice.
18:23Looking good.
18:25No record of Bracco on the ledger.
18:27Must have used cash.
18:28Well, I, for one, am just pumped to be on a stakeout with you, Captain.
18:32You know what my favorite thing about stakeouts is?
18:35Patrol guide says no dress code.
18:37So I'm just the zip-up hoodie and my two best friends.
18:41Does he always stalk this much?
18:42I just tune it out.
18:43It's like a white noise machine.
18:45Okay, first of all, that's racist.
18:47Secondly, Captain, Terry told me you got the Disco Strangler.
18:51I mean, that's incredible.
18:52I've read that case.
18:54With all due respect, sir, why'd it take you so long to get your first command?
18:59Because I'm gay.
19:03Seriously?
19:05I'm surprised you didn't know.
19:06I don't try to hide it.
19:14Did anyone else get a little bit of a gay vibe?
19:20Manscaping.
19:22Damn.
19:24I am not a good detective.
19:27Here.
19:28I feel bad that you spent all that money on the movie tickets.
19:30Why don't you just go to the movies with me?
19:34Okay.
19:37Well, this is awkward.
19:39It's not awkward.
19:41I like your company.
19:42You're sweet.
19:47When did you come out?
19:49About 25 years ago.
19:50The NYPD was not ready for an openly gay detective.
19:54But then the old guard died out.
19:56Suddenly, they couldn't wait to show off the fact that they had a highly ranking gay officer.
20:00I made captain.
20:02But they put me in a public affairs unit.
20:04I was a good soldier.
20:06I helped a crewman.
20:08But all I ever really wanted was my own command.
20:12And now I finally got it.
20:14And I'm not gonna screw it up.
20:17Captain, I'm sorry.
20:19I feel like a jackass.
20:25But on the flip side, there's Ratko.
20:28Humility over.
20:28I'm amazing.
20:36Fantastic.
20:373,000 identical blue doors.
20:38Looks like we all got door duty.
20:40Oh, yeah.
20:42From before.
20:43Got one.
20:44You look great.
20:48Clear.
20:54Clear.
21:06I'm sorry.
21:08I'm sorry.
21:10Unbelievable.
21:12I'm sorry.
21:21Unbelievable.
21:22Racko.
21:24Great to see you.
21:25You can't stop me.
21:27I'm going.
21:28Actually, you're not going anywhere.
21:32Because if you take a look to your left,
21:33you'll see Detectives Boyle and Diaz.
21:36Right there is Detective Santiago.
21:39And behind you is Captain Holt.
21:41Point is, my team has you surrounded.
21:44Oh my God, I just got the tie thing.
21:46Captain, I just figured it out.
21:48Maybe now's not the best time, Detective.
21:50It's a uniform.
21:52We're a team, and the tie is a part of that team's uniform, right?
21:56You ask Ratko what team?
21:57No, Ratko, shut up.
21:58It's important to you because you were kept off the team for so long,
22:01and now you're the coach,
22:02and you want us to all wear that same uniform.
22:05Boom! Nailed it!
22:06Yes, you did.
22:07Now just arrest Ratko.
22:09All right, Ratko, down. Drop the weapon.
22:11Hands on your head. Here we go.
22:17Hands on your back. Hands on your back.
22:19Stay down.
22:21That's how we do it in the 9-9, sir.
22:23Catch bad guys and look good doing it.
22:27What's wrong with you?
22:28Never took off the Speedo.
22:30Big mistake.
22:30It is inside me.
22:32Great work, team!
22:41From Yulon.
22:42Not a doctor.
22:43Shh!
22:51It's inside me.
22:51You can see my son.
22:51It goes to me.
22:51I'm wrong.
22:51It goes to me.
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