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00:22Hello one and all to another brand new episode of 7 Days where I, Jeremy Corbett, take you
00:26the viewer on a magical journey through the past week of news, deleting the boring bits
00:30and making this crack team of comedians find the funny and what's left over, let's meet
00:35them shall we. Leader of team one is an actor, director, comedian and musician, wow she just
00:40cannot commit. She's mad as salami, it's Madeline Salami. Thank you Jeremy, it's called undiagnosed
00:51ADHD. Now have I got a hot team for you tonight, he started as a production runner on this very
00:57show and now he's on the panel, he's started on the panel and now he has the runs, it's
01:02Anthony Grant and George Hudson. The big question about the leader of team two is if he's here
01:10then who's walking around in the woods of Northern California pretending to be Bigfoot?
01:14Rhys MacPherson. Hello Corby, we've got a hot team two for you this evening, one is from
01:20Samoa, one is from Christchurch, you might have better luck guessing than I did. Let's make
01:29a start by seeing what made the news in a game that's legally called Newsmakers. I'll give
01:33each team a prompt from a headline story, they need to figure out which one and team one, I've
01:37got an answer for you so you might need to come up with some questions. Why is this a
01:41newsmaker, 51 tests? How many tests of supermarket camembert did I get through before the promo
01:48lady told me off? How many pregnancy tests did I shove up my bum before I realised you
01:54just need to pee on them? How many pregnancy tests did I get through before I realised it's
02:02the woman who's meant to pee on them? How many times did I do a Covid test in an afternoon
02:08before I was like, do I have a kink? Madeline, any guess at what the story might be?
02:14Okay, 51 tests. I'm going to assume this is something to do with sport. Oh yes, actually,
02:19there was a story about an ex-All Black, Tane Randall. He is standing for a political party.
02:28Correct Madeline, the question is how many tests did Tane Randall play for the All Blacks? Well it's 51, 22
02:33as
02:33captain. One of our youngest captains between 97 and 2002 and he announced this week he will be
02:39running as a New Zealand first candidate in the Tukituki electorate in Hawke's Bay at the upcoming
02:43election. Sort of a direct swap actually. Tane Randall is becoming a politician and Christopher
02:48Luxon is going to be a rugby ball.
02:55I reckon we should have more rugby players in parliament and if we did, Stephen Joyce would
03:00have caught that dildo. And said a knocking it on with his face. I mean it wasn't a straight line
03:07out dildo throw that's for sure. I don't know how to catch a dildo on a line out. He did
03:12the old falcon
03:12didn't he? Did the falcon. Lovely that it proves that it's not just old people who support New Zealand
03:17first. It's also people with severe head injuries. Yeah. Hopefully people will take that concussion
03:22thing seriously after seeing this. Yeah I think that's the new slogan. Had a fall, vote New Zealand
03:26first. Yeah yeah. What's the electorate he's going for? Is it Tukituki? Tukituki. Yeah because
03:33Labour haven't announced their candidate for Tukituki yet but if they do pick a South African and Tane
03:40get sick the night before the election I'm going to have a lot of questions. We'll be looking for
03:46someone called Susie. Yeah I think so. I think so. Hey Crum I know it's your first show so welcome.
03:51Also
03:51in the middle of team two first show Bubba. You were a guest here in guest who? We had you
03:57on didn't
03:57you? With the mystery sack on your head. But now you're sitting on the panel how does it feel? You
04:01good?
04:01I feel like I leveled up. Leveled up. All right team two are you ready? Yeah. For your
04:07newsmaker I've got an answer for you. What's the question? This is from the last seven days. Crabs
04:11and barnacles. Ooh uh with rising sea levels what are the new STIs in some of our sluttier coastal towns?
04:22Um now that we are at an earlier time slot what does Jeremy have to say instead of
04:26shit and ****? I'll tell you how I feel about that. Clubs and barnacles.
04:35Um what shows that a mermaid's let herself go?
04:41All right any idea what the story might be Rhys? Um it's almost nothing to go on so I'm gonna
04:47uh
04:47I'm gonna guess it's it's under the water under the sea. Down where it's wet everything's better
04:52Jeremy. Is that the story? Not even close. Um what are thriving in the great pacific garbage
04:59patch? Crabs and barnacles. That's the huge accumulation of marine plastic in the north
05:03pacific ocean. The GPGP as the cool kids are calling it was found to have grown so large it
05:08now hosts its own ecosystem. It's now about three times the size of France. It contains roughly 1.8
05:14trillion pieces of plastic but I reckon I could still get the lid on my recycling bin to close on
05:19that.
05:19You know push it in. Guys I just want to say I don't think we should call it the great
05:25pacific garbage
05:25patch. Its name's Australia. Be kind. Be kind. It's quite nice to know that when you biff like a
05:32bear cannon to a river it's not littering. It's gonna end up being a little house for a hermit.
05:37You're making a home. You're making a home. It's queue day. It's queue day.
05:40Well that's aluminium or steel gonna sink so you're not helping the patch.
05:43Uh, I think you'll fire in metal floats Corbett.
05:47What?
05:49Yeah.
05:50Don't they?
05:51There's metal boats.
05:53Yeah, as long as the displacement is greater than the weight.
05:55Oh, okay Archimedes.
05:57Let's bring everybody a displacement ferry.
06:00Oh, I'm big to school. I'm from the North Island.
06:04All right.
06:06Yeah, get him.
06:07What's that?
06:08That's a thinking man.
06:10What about you Bubba? Cause you know, do we need another pacific island? You've been living
06:14in Samoa basically, haven't you?
06:16I can't even talk cause I've been eating turtles.
06:18What?
06:19Yes.
06:20What do they taste like?
06:22Straws. Do they taste like straws?
06:24Chicken.
06:24Or kiwi. What does it taste like?
06:26Like, fishy fish.
06:27Really?
06:28Oh, like a cross between like...
06:30And then I can crisp up the skin.
06:32Wow.
06:33Yum.
06:34But we do it sustainably.
06:35That's the way...
06:36We save them.
06:37Yes.
06:37I suppose you...
06:40No, it's like farming.
06:40You're not going to be able to answer either.
06:42It's like farming.
06:43Yeah.
06:43You're farming.
06:44That's perfect.
06:45Well, yeah.
06:45Yeah, they kind of come with their own bowl.
06:47Mm.
06:47Yeah.
06:48Oh.
06:49And a dipping spoon in each corner.
06:52Yeah, you know that.
06:54We're going to go to points for newsmakers.
06:56Team one, you can have don't know.
06:58Uh, interesting number.
06:59That's the number of national MPs who voted against Prime Minister Christopher Luxon
07:02in that confidence vote he called on himself this week.
07:05I haven't revealed the numbers, so I don't really know.
07:07Uh, but he's fine, honestly.
07:09Team two, you can have 70.
07:10That's 70 mil of rain that fell in one hour in Wellington on early Monday morning.
07:14That's about half a month's rain in one hour, hence the terrible flash floods.
07:19Hope you're okay there in Wellington.
07:2070 beats, don't know.
07:22First star of the night goes to team two.
07:26Well, a star, you know, a star isn't just a giant burning ball of gas, which also happened
07:30to be my stripper name.
07:31No.
07:31But also the currency for this show.
07:34Most stars at the end of the night wins a highly sought after and valuable prize.
07:38And with Tane Randall's mate Shane Jones saying New Zealand's trade agreement with India will
07:42lead to a butter chicken tsunami, his actual words, we thought this week's prize would be
07:46helpful when the big wave eventually arrives.
07:49Ooh and ah at that.
07:50That is a boogie board made from garlic naan.
07:52Wow.
07:55Not only is it a delicious buttery Friday night takeaway, but we'll also keep you afloat while
08:00Shane Jones is washed out to sea to drown in the incoming crowd-pleasing curry.
08:04Something to strive for.
08:06Good luck, teams.
08:06All right, our next game is called Guest 2, where we pick a random news story of the
08:10week, secretly recruit the star of that story to join us in the studio under the cover of
08:14darkness. And when I say darkness, I mean a sack with a limited air supply.
08:18Please welcome our guest, who guessed?
08:21Just stay mad at him.
08:23Jumping behind you, drives you in.
08:25Three, two, one.
08:26Stop right there.
08:28All right, our guest is going to give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down for your yes,
08:31no question.
08:31Thumbs down, it goes to the other team.
08:33Team one, you start.
08:34Did you win the Hong Kong Sevens?
08:37Oh, that's good though.
08:40Good win for New Zealand, that one.
08:42Team two.
08:44Have you been to South Auckland?
08:48You got a yes, you got a yes.
08:51Not part of the story, I have to say, but you got a yes, that's good.
08:55Did you fight for the Anzacs at Gallipoli?
08:59Okay, so they fought for the Ottoman Empire.
09:03So it's clearly South Auckland based.
09:05It's not.
09:06No, it's not.
09:08Okay, is it a sport related news story, maybe?
09:14No, but a maybe.
09:15Not sport.
09:16So when you're in South Auckland,
09:21and you drive past Otara, do you ever stop for those lamb buns?
09:27No.
09:28Okay, I'm lost.
09:29You're lost.
09:31Bubba's out, Bubba's out.
09:34What's the address of these lamb buns?
09:35No, Tomo.
09:36I don't think it's to do with the story.
09:39Focus on the game.
09:40You can send me a...
09:40I think this is, yeah, okay.
09:41If you were to walk in a realm of the topic that you delve into,
09:47would it be scientific?
09:49No, that's a no.
09:50That's a no, okay.
09:51Not scientific.
09:53Are you famous for entertainment?
09:57Yes!
09:58Yes!
09:59Entertainment.
09:59Are you a musician?
10:02It is.
10:03It is a yes.
10:04It's a yes, but not the main.
10:06Oh my God, I read something, but I can't remember what it is.
10:09I have to think.
10:11Are you in film and television?
10:14Yes.
10:15Same, same, same.
10:19Not a conversation, Madeline.
10:21Are you on a reality television show?
10:23No, it's not that.
10:25Yeah, they're in film and television.
10:26Okay, um, has the show been going for a long time?
10:30Yes, definitely.
10:32Were you on the news?
10:38That is a no, not what the story's about.
10:42Was the TV show for kids?
10:45Yes!
10:46No way.
10:48No way.
10:49Is that Susie Cato?
10:50Yeah!
10:56Wow!
10:58Wow!
10:59Oh my God!
11:01Oh my God!
11:02Oh my God!
11:03Amazing!
11:04Amazing!
11:04Please, I must have, I must have.
11:05We were...
11:06I don't know, mate.
11:09Um...
11:10Wow!
11:11So, the look on Reece's face when he saw that it was you was just amazing.
11:15Oh really?
11:15You must get that a lot.
11:16You and me.
11:17Yes, you and me.
11:18Yes!
11:19So, yes, it's been a very long number of years since, um, we made you and me, but it's
11:25coming back!
11:26It's coming back, yeah!
11:29It's gonna be streaming and all that sort of stuff, but also, um, you released It's Our
11:34Time, but you're releasing You and Me, the theme tune as well.
11:36Yeah, the theme tune was released last weekend, we're releasing It's Our Time, Kia Ora Talofa
11:43this weekend, and then for the next 25 weeks, It's Our Time, our special time of day.
11:50God!
11:51I'm about to cry.
11:52I'm about to cry.
11:53It is incredible because, like you've had, like there are kids that watched your show,
11:57it started in what, 93 or something like that, and now they're parents themselves and
12:01they come up and, and what do they say to you?
12:03They say hello, generally.
12:06Always, not Talofa.
12:08Oh, no, Talofa, Talofa, and we always have a big hug and, yeah, we sing the song and it's,
12:12it's fabulous, and now to be singing and performing for their children is pretty special.
12:17Yeah, you're a massive star.
12:19I remember, uh, back in the day, we sort of, um, your husband worked at the radio station
12:23I was at, and we had a radio, uh, sort of a do, and Sean Fitzpatrick was there,
12:27the, um, captain of the All Blacks at the time, a man not easily, uh, given to sort of
12:31shows of, uh, sort of stardom, but he, he was starstruck by you, because of his kids,
12:37and he came up and he wanted your autograph and that, I've never seen, like, the captain
12:40of the All Blacks being so, can I please have your autograph?
12:43It was incredible.
12:44Amazing, he's such a lovely guy.
12:46He was lovely, yes.
12:47And in between when there was a hiatus, I think we can call it now, the show didn't come to
12:50an end,
12:51it was a hiatus, you were on, um, Dancing with the Stars and Masked Singer, does it feel good to
12:55be on a proper TV show?
12:58It's an honour. Wonderful to be working with you.
13:00Praising it dissed the Masked Singer when you made her stand there with a bag on her head.
13:07Susie, am I in the show?
13:09In this show?
13:10Yeah.
13:11Seven days, darling, yes you are.
13:12Oh, okay.
13:17I wasn't sure if I was aware.
13:19Why do you ask, Tomo, have you recorded something you think might be on Susie's show?
13:22Oh, I don't, I don't know if it's a...
13:24Oh my God, if there was one.
13:25Oh, I don't know, I don't know.
13:26He's playing one of the puppets.
13:26So long as you don't tell any of your, anybody else, yes, Josh reads a story.
13:32Do you?
13:33Yeah.
13:34How did you learn to read?
13:37There were lots of pictures.
13:39Oh, there's lots of pictures.
13:41I didn't think they'd go for mine, can't be there, but it was quite a long time.
13:45Quite a long before.
13:48And is it true that your kids told you what to wear tonight so that people would recognise you?
13:52Oh yeah, yeah, so yeah.
13:53Absolutely.
13:53Completely true.
13:54I had to, I had to bling, I had to stand in a certain way.
13:58Yeah, it was really good.
13:59Yeah, I was like, that's my cousin.
14:01Yeah.
14:01That's definitely my cousin.
14:03I thought she was from South Wales.
14:07Where do I find those buns?
14:10I will take you, I love you, you're stunning.
14:14When does the show start and where can we see it?
14:16You can see it on the 2nd of May on my YouTube channel, YouAndMeNZ.
14:21And it'll also be on RNZ's platform in a few months' time.
14:25Well, the pleasure's been all ours.
14:26Susie Cato.
14:32Oh, Steve.
14:34Oh, Steve.
14:36Standing.
14:37Oh, yeah.
14:37Oh, yeah.
14:50That's...
14:51Well done.
14:53Wow.
14:54I have to say, one of our most popular guests who's ever.
14:57Right, coming up later, we have Aotearoa Music Award finalist Paige
15:00joining us for Slice of Seven.
15:02Stick around to see that, but after the break,
15:04it's TOG's time with Club Topakana here on Seven Days.
15:06See you soon.
15:20Oh, welcome back to Seven Days.
15:22Lovely to have you with us.
15:24We'd like to celebrate the week of wild weather by shimmying across the sand,
15:28finding our way around the flotsam and jetsam to reach the embrace of the beach.
15:31It's Club Topakana play the steel drums.
15:37That was a cool thing I did.
15:39That's cool.
15:39That's cool, man.
15:40That's really good.
15:44Club Topakana, as you know, is brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
15:48Pineapples, chunks or pieces, whole or sliced, any which way, damn napples be nice.
15:54And inside this poetic fruit lies some news stories that drew my attention.
15:57It'll be the team's task to tell us more about each of them.
16:01All right, until I am satiated, what have we got on the menu this week?
16:04Let's start with this.
16:05Robots in China just beat the world record for running a half marathon.
16:08You may have seen that.
16:09The Ukrainian army reportedly adding 25,000 robots to its front line.
16:14Safe to say robots are taking our jobs, but I think we need to fight back,
16:18which is why I'd like to see some examples of humans doing robots jobs.
16:29Wake up! Wake up!
16:30It's time to start your miserable life!
16:33LAUGHTER
16:39Wait, so you want me to walk around, suck up dust and toenails,
16:43and you're going to pay me for that?
16:46LAUGHTER
16:48LAUGHTER
16:52ALIVE!
16:53ALIVE!
16:55ALIVE!
16:56Alive! Alive! Alive! Alive!
16:58Dead!
17:08Hello. Oh, yes, you'd like $20?
17:11Just put your card here.
17:13Put your PIN number here.
17:25Here's your $20.
17:28Can I get a receipt?
17:51Right, so you just want me to sit on the chair and vibrate.
17:56Okay.
18:12But then now do they get to sit on you, is that...
18:15Yeah, I don't want to make it gross, but yeah, I'm a vibrator.
18:18It's a real shameful walk-off.
18:20Alright.
18:22Okay, here we go, down to Christchurch.
18:24Tekaha Christchurch's new One New Zealand stadium
18:27has its official opening this weekend.
18:29All Super Rugby games have been played there.
18:31683 mil it cost.
18:32I didn't get an invite, but I would love to see some scenes
18:35from a Christchurch Stadium corporate box, please.
18:41Um, they say I'm the first-time one up here.
18:45LAUGHTER
18:48I'm the head of security.
18:50LAUGHTER
18:54Watch out!
18:55Look at that!
18:56That's the first Samoan in the corporate box!
19:00LAUGHTER
19:01It's a loafah!
19:07LAUGHTER
19:09LAUGHTER
19:10LAUGHTER
19:27I'll have the shrimp, please.
19:29LAUGHTER
19:37Phew!
19:42Uh...
19:42What?
19:43Oh, we can't go on the field any more.
19:46No...
19:47Yeah, well, yeah.
19:48Could I get a drink and, um, 50 kg of oats for the horse, please?
19:52LAUGHTER
19:53Ch-ch-ch-pow!
19:55LAUGHTER
19:57LAUGHTER
20:01Ritchie!
20:02LAUGHTER
20:03God!
20:04I shot Ritchie McCaw!
20:07Sorry!
20:08He's as big as a horse!
20:09I'm so sorry!
20:11LAUGHTER
20:13LAUGHTER
20:17Uh, yes, we just book out the suite on an event-by-event basis, really.
20:20Uh, once you've kind of got 20 people in here, it works out to be just as cheap as tickets.
20:25Uh, catering's pretty good.
20:25Drinks are included.
20:26They've got a different catering pick.
20:27What do I do?
20:28Uh, so I just...
20:29I...
20:29It's a bit boring.
20:30I work under the CFO, so I'm kind of managing logistics mainly.
20:33Trying to stabilise, uh, the prices that were our incoming product,
20:37particularly with the tariffs and the Hormuz.
20:38If you don't even get me started on that, that's been an absolute number.
20:41But, you know, it works stable.
20:42It works pretty good, pretty interesting.
20:44Ch-ch-ch-ch!
20:45LAUGHTER
20:48You shot Dan Carter!
20:50Hurrah!
20:51LAUGHTER
20:54Alrighty, moving on.
20:55Here's our next story from MyDolePineapple.
20:58Uh, this week police arrested a man who had stolen
21:00$34,000 worth of Lego from box sets.
21:04Uh, he'd done that by replacing it with dried pasta.
21:07Ingenious, but I'm pretty sure any crime involving pasta
21:09gets you locked up in a prison in Italy.
21:12So, uh, give me some examples of things overheard in an Italian prison.
21:19Luigi, why are you trying to dig out
21:22when we can just jump down the toilet and go down the pipes?
21:26Yoo-hoo!
21:28LAUGHTER
21:28It's really good.
21:32Oh, mamma mia!
21:34I've been shanked!
21:38Just checking, you can still do the Italian accent, right?
21:41That's all.
21:42Yeah, let's go, let's go.
21:45I don't know.
21:47I shanked a woman, but my shank was al dente.
21:50LAUGHTER
21:57OK, if we are going to get out, we're going to have to get past the guards.
22:02LAUGHTER
22:04We don't want to have to resort to violence.
22:08LAUGHTER
22:15Get busy living or get busy dying.
22:19Those are the words told to me by my friend
22:23Andolini Ferrari Barista Napoletano Paparazzi Gelato de Fred.
22:28LAUGHTER
22:28LAUGHTER
22:30Very good, Tomo.
22:31My name's Morgan Freeman.
22:33LAUGHTER
22:33We got that.
22:36What am I in for?
22:38Serving a red wine with seafood?
22:40LAUGHTER
22:41And I'm in with the pitos.
22:44LAUGHTER
22:51It was going so well.
22:53LAUGHTER
22:53All right, unbelievable.
22:54Word is in that the garbage patch is spread to our own Topicana beach.
22:58Before you get barnacles on your dinghy,
23:00you better get out of the water and head back to the desks.
23:02Play the steel drums!
23:05APPLAUSE
23:14Oh, very good round of Topicana.
23:15Enjoyed that.
23:16Team one, you can have 32 points.
23:18That's the age of Harry Styles, rumoured to be engaged to his girlfriend Zoe Kravitz
23:22after she was seen wearing a huge diamond ring in public.
23:26Yes.
23:27Disappointing.
23:28I would have married either of them.
23:29Team two, 120.
23:30That's the number of shows in the 2026 New Zealand International Comedy Festival.
23:34Kicks off in a week.
23:35Features many of your seven days favourites, including some here tonight.
23:38Tickets are at comedyfestival.co.nz.
23:41Congrats.
23:42The star goes to team two.
23:44APPLAUSE
23:48All right.
23:49Team one, I've got your burger fuel brain grill,
23:52fresh out of 1990 for you now.
23:54Tell me what's happening here.
23:56And we want...
23:57We want this guy here to...
23:59Yeah, we want this guy here.
24:01Spread out, boys.
24:02Spreading out.
24:03Spread out.
24:03Here we go.
24:04Come on, Hawksby.
24:05Hands come down, slapping, slapping, slapping, slapping.
24:09Hands reach up one above the other.
24:12Fierce warriors poke out tongues.
24:14Poke out tongues.
24:18Oh, Lord.
24:19Oh.
24:20Oh.
24:21Oh.
24:21Joke about that, yeah.
24:22Is this what they were doing at the National Party caucus on Tuesday?
24:27I know, I know exactly what this is.
24:28This is a pake haka.
24:31Yeah.
24:32Yeah, that was from Telethon 1990.
24:35Sir Howard Morrison leading a haka comprised of John Farnham.
24:39Amazing.
24:39Paul Holmes.
24:40John Hawksby.
24:41And the one in the end with the headpiece.
24:44Director of Seven Days sitting in the control room right behind me right now,
24:47Nigel Carpenter.
24:49Really good.
24:50The event raves $4.3 million, mainly from people paying to make them stop.
24:58All right, I feel a break coming on, so let's all promise to watch the ads, then enjoy
25:01Paige singing for us all in Slicer 7 next.
25:04See you soon, Seven Days.
25:16Welcome back to Seven Days.
25:18I see you've slipped into your dancing shoes.
25:21Good move, because we have a Kiwi songbird in the studio to serenade us with a couple
25:25of tunes that we've made her change the words to, so our comedians can guess what news
25:29story they are about.
25:30Her song, Twenties, has just been named a finalist for Single of the Year in the
25:342026 Aotearoa Music Awards.
25:36Please welcome Paige.
25:41Your job, team, is to figure out what news stories we've got Paige to sing about.
25:45Team one, are you ready?
25:47In your own time, Paige.
25:56I can almost see it, the blood and screaming when a reptile bites a boat with Lisa Carrington.
26:07And it's so strong, you gotta go fast.
26:14You'll get eaten if you're last.
26:20Got crocodiles at the Briz Olympics.
26:24The rowers gotta whack them with their oars.
26:27They never wanna see a gator later.
26:30Gold medal stuck inside their chores.
26:33Steve Irwin wears he when you need him.
26:36Oh no, the cocksless wars have died.
26:43Damn.
26:45Crocodile.
26:52Oh my god.
26:54So good.
26:55Wow.
26:56Yeah.
26:57Wow.
26:57Amazing.
26:58I heard a bunch of stuff about Australia.
26:59Crocodiles.
26:59Steve Irwin.
27:00There was Lisa Carrington, who is a weapon.
27:04There's a rowing crocodile story from the Australians.
27:11I don't know when the Olympics are, but I think they're gonna row with crocodiles?
27:16Yeah, sort of, Team One.
27:17I'll give it to you.
27:18Organisers are still committed to holding the rowing events for the 2032 Brisbane Olympics
27:23on the Fitzroy River, despite it being a known crocodile habitat.
27:28I guess it could make for a seamless transition from being an Olympian to a Paralympian.
27:31You know.
27:36Wait, wait.
27:37So like they're rowing and there's crocodiles chasing them?
27:41I would be, I feel like this is my chance to get into the Olympics.
27:45I'd row so fast!
27:48Oh, because yeah, and you'd be staring at them the whole time.
27:51Yeah.
27:51You've got to watch out because they might bite your cocks off.
27:53Yeah.
27:54Wait, wait, there's the...
27:55That's a boat term, right?
27:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:57That's a coxus.
27:57Oh yeah.
27:58To be honest, like Crocodile versus Lisa Carrington, I'm backing Carrington.
28:02Yeah.
28:03Have you seen her?
28:04She is jacked.
28:05Oh yeah.
28:05Shit, I guess they'd rip it in half.
28:07But she's...
28:07At least she's kayaking so she's going forward so she'd see them.
28:11Whereas in rowing, you know what you're rowing.
28:13They just go down the throat.
28:16It's meals on wheels!
28:20I love the idea of injecting a little bit of animal danger into sort of any Olympic sport.
28:25I've often watched the bobsledding and thought, chuck a hippo down there.
28:29A hundred metres bridge?
28:31Well, just like, hippos famously don't like the cold and don't know how to apply brakes in ice.
28:36So, I think they'd get really angry.
28:38Oh, rhythmic gymnastics with a snake?
28:40Oh yeah.
28:41Yeah.
28:42Yeah.
28:44I would like to see you swimming with a shark in the pool.
28:48Just get some world record times.
28:49Yeah.
28:50I thought, like, Javelin could be made a lot more interesting without animals,
28:53but just both teams going at the same time at each other.
28:57So it's kind of like Javelin dodgeball hybrid?
28:59Yeah.
29:00I think it's like Pokemon.
29:01Is Pokemon where you throw a spear into another human being?
29:06No, that's Pokemon.
29:12Really good.
29:13Team 2, are you ready for a song from Paige?
29:15Yes.
29:16It's about a news story.
29:17Try and guess which one.
29:18Yours, all yours Paige.
29:24Stopped in instead
29:25At the fridge in my dairy
29:28Reached for a drink
29:31It was real scary
29:33The bottle was transparent like a naked ghost
29:37Wanna keep it looking like the color of toast
29:45Yuck!
29:46Gross!
29:47Gotta bring back the brown
29:50Sad times
29:52In Waikato town
29:54Statues changing
29:57Now I'm worried about
29:59Oh Hakune
30:02More Kiwi than
30:05Agenda strapped in
30:07All the old LMPs are getting the can
30:12Old bottles in
30:14Old bottles in
30:15The recycling bin
30:18Stop the coke company
30:21It looks like
30:24Piss
30:30Yes
30:32Awesome
30:33So good
30:34So good
30:34Well first of all Jeremy
30:36You know how annoying I find it
30:37When you invite actually talented people
30:39Yes
30:40Makes this look bad
30:41What do you reckon guys?
30:44Um LMP is changed
30:47It's changing
30:47It's changing
30:48The bottle the bottle
30:49I thought you knew this
30:51Why would you think I know this?
30:53Okay no
30:53So LMP changing the bottle colour to clear for recycling purposes
30:58Okay and why did you think I would be up to date on fizzy drink news?
31:01You have an aura
31:10Yeah I did know this
31:14Yes I've said a lot of fans of Kiwi fizzy drinks
31:16LMP have changed the design of their brown bottles to translucent ones
31:20They've even updated the iconic LMP bottle statue in Pyro
31:24It's
31:24Even LMP's gone work hasn't it?
31:28What's it called now?
31:29LMPTQIA Plus
31:30LMP LMP
31:32Where's the stock?
31:34What is the stock?
31:35I mean even when you
31:36Look at it
31:36Yeah
31:37Ages right
31:38It does look like
31:39His
31:39Yeah
31:41If they wanted to make it Kiwi
31:43They should have painted it blue and may be put Tina from apa09's on there
31:46Oh
31:49Do you know her?
31:51Do you know her?
31:52No but I heard she's amazing
31:56They lost your bubbles
32:00That is a coincidence, isn't it?
32:03What's that?
32:05Where the f*** is this going?
32:08Go on, Poirot.
32:10At the same time as the movie about Michael Jackson is coming out...
32:17We're making a brown bottle less brown!
32:20Michael Jackson, of course, famous for making himself more clear
32:23to make himself more recyclable.
32:27I think he's famous for touching smaller bottles, I think.
32:33Get away from the cans, Michael!
32:36Maybe we've fallen into their trap.
32:37Maybe you're right, it's a marketing stunt
32:40and they've made it onto the show, dammit.
32:42Good luck, Corbs.
32:43While we're not all talking about their product, L&P,
32:46which is delicious, by the way.
32:47I love it.
32:48Yeah, I love it. It's a great summer drink,
32:50even though it's getting close to winter.
32:52But what flavour is it?
32:54I mean, it's lemon and poirot.
32:56But what flavour is it?
32:57What flavour is poirot?
32:58No, I don't know.
32:59I think the yellow is for the lemon
33:01and the brown is from the dairy effluent that flows into the river.
33:07I don't know, but it doesn't matter because it tastes so good
33:09and it makes me feel great.
33:12You can relax, Tomo.
33:15And you can hear the proper version of Paige's hit song,
33:18Twenties, which was the song she played for Team 2.
33:20It's all over the place.
33:21Instant classic.
33:22So find her on the socials.
33:23Please give it up one more time for Paige.
33:25Amazing, amazing.
33:26So good.
33:27Sound amazing.
33:28So good.
33:30For points for Slice, Team 1 you can have 144.
33:33That's the number of pages in a new book written by our warm-up guy, Sam Smith.
33:38Yes.
33:39Wow.
33:41It's a lovely graphic novel called The Curse of the Carnivorous Cactuses.
33:46For five to ten-year-olds.
33:48Team 2, I was going to say 20, which is how many dollars Sam paid me to say that.
33:52But I've got a better one because it's got a great video.
33:54So you get two points.
33:55That's the number of seconds a Delaware man won the Delaware Marathon by
34:00after pipping another runner celebrating a little too early at the finish line.
34:04Have a look.
34:05No.
34:06Yeah!
34:07Yeah!
34:14Ah!
34:17Ah!
34:22I love what that means. Team 1 gets a star!
34:28Alright, after the break we've got a game of history to test your nostalgic knowledge.
34:31See you back here on 7 Days.
34:33Cheers.
34:46No nai, hukimai. Welcome back to 7 Days.
34:49Do you remember the past?
34:50Me too.
34:51Good times.
34:52And I thought I'd bring back those good times with the game of history here on 7 Days.
34:56Teams, take a look at your screens and see what people from the past are joining us in studio tonight.
35:02Zara Clark and Vanessa Kelly, through their dance group Deep Obsession, seem to be making
35:07some serious inroads into overseas markets. They've had solid chart success here and on
35:13the strength of that, Universal Records have poured half a million dollars into their international
35:18assault.
35:45Yeah, give it up for Deep Obsession. Amazing. Great singles there. As the Kiwi Pop Juro stormed
35:52the charts in 99, three consecutive number one hits are the only Kiwi group to ever do
35:56so. And joining us in studio, we have Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession joining Vanessa.
36:02We have a self-described raver and Buddhist, a person addicted to African wildlife adventures
36:09and an ultramarathon runner. So they are the people up there. You need to identify Vanessa,
36:14of course, team one. You can begin. They can't answer questions. They can perform actions.
36:19Oh, OK. This might sound weird. Can I make these women dance for me?
36:26Thank you, Jeremy. Thank you, Jeremy. OK, I request. Just quickly, because it's a raver
36:31and a Buddhist riot. OK, ready, ready. Cool. Great. Cool. Thank you. Thank you.
36:47And your findings, Professor? Well, I'd have to go on another date. That was the most uncomfortable
36:55I've done. I think there was a little bit more pep in number fours dancing, actually. A little
37:01bit more raver. A little bit for the... Maybe for the raver. OK. I've got another test for
37:05the wildlife adventurer. OK. OK.
37:11No, nothing. All right. What have you got for me? OK, right. OK, we've got a pick. We've
37:20got a pick. OK, so what do we have so far? We've got number four, we were thinking...
37:24Ultra runner. Ultra runner. Well, number one what? Wildlife. Wildlife. Wildlife. OK, number
37:28one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wildlife. And number two, are we saying... We had a bit of sort of synergy
37:32when we were dancing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's the raver. But it's number two. And
37:36then number three is our pop star. Team one, thanks. Number three is Vanessa from Deep Obsession
37:42back in the 90s. Team two, your turn now. OK. I feel like four lived a life and now wants
37:48to settle down. Oh. That's who I think could be the pop star of nothing else but that. What
37:54else, Bubba? I want to know what else you'll... I feel like you're one of those women that
37:58senses. I'd like to know. I think you should do the guessing. Yeah, absolutely. You all
38:04look like teachers. Do you want me to give you the category and you give me what number
38:10it is? Yeah, let's go. OK. Addicted to African wildlife adventures? I would say number one.
38:16OK. Ultra marathon runner? I want to say two. Nice. Two, ultra marathon. Raver and Buddhist?
38:23I want to say three. So you think Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession is number...
38:28What? Team one, thanks. Vanessa Kelly is number three. Team two, thanks. Vanessa Kelly
38:32from Deep Obsession is number four. Can I ask Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession to step
38:37forward, please?
38:38Oh!
38:39Oh!
38:42Wow!
38:45Oh, Vanessa, thank you for joining us. I was in my radio career when you guys were having
38:51your hits. I remember. It was an amazing time. Yeah, it was. Do you remember any of those
38:55dance moves that bring back a few memories? Yeah, I don't know. Some of them I probably
38:59could work on, but I'm not sure. Some are a bit painful now. Who would be your favourite
39:03person you'd perform with? Because there were some pretty big names there. Gosh. Macy Gray.
39:07She was pretty amazing. Oh, really? She was wild. She was amazing. Actually, I have to say,
39:11S Club 7 were a really lovely group of people. Wow!
39:13So really lovely kids. Didn't you do like a party for Robbie Williams or something?
39:17Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. The management crew, so that was really fun. Yeah.
39:21500 grand, half a million dollars. What'd you do with it?
39:24We didn't do anything with it. You didn't?
39:26No. I think everyone had a really good time on us.
39:30But I went into... I know it sounds harsh, but yeah, I mean, it was a different industry
39:34too. Put it this way, we had a lot of travelling, which was amazing, great experiences and very
39:40different industry now, for sure. Put out the memoirs, sis. Oh, no. Yeah, there's a lot.
39:45There's a lot of stories. Definitely. And for clarification, because people sort of
39:50probably assume that it's manufactured, but you wrote all your own songs. We did, yeah.
39:54Vanessa, can I tell you a secret? Yeah. I actually knew who you were because I used to
39:59work in the warehouse music department of the warehouse, Tenderloof, and I sold 500,000 copies
40:05of your CD, and so I saw your face quite a lot. Fantastic. You didn't say that before,
40:10did you? No. That's why I said, I'm going to tell you a secret. I didn't say it later.
40:18I feel like I actually was present as a 20-something-year-old on the shooting of one of your
40:23video clips.
40:24You look very familiar, actually. Yeah. Yeah. I feel so cold video clip where you guys were
40:29in the crazy hats, and I think a friend of mine was directing or something, and I got to
40:34come and watch that, and I was, like, mesmerised, because it was like, whoa, this is show business.
40:38It was amazing. Oh, fantastic. Sorry, can we f***ing clear this round, because you've picked
40:43someone that all of Team 1 know. Well, if you don't follow the news, Rhys. Who's on next week?
40:50My dad? Give it up for Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession. Thank you, Vanessa. Looking good
40:58for you to Team 1. Let's see our raver and Buddhist next. Could you step forward, please,
41:03raver and Buddhist? That is number two. You're two for two, Team 1. Addicted to African wildlife
41:09adventures. That is number four. It's struck out there. And ultra-marathon runner. Thank
41:15you very much. Give them all a round of applause. Keep your calls going for Team 1. They cleaned
41:19up. They get the start. Well done. It is nearly time for a break, but first, you at home have
41:24your very own burger-filled brain grill. Here's a picture from 1990, the year we're looking at.
41:30Soak a little bit of that in. Head to our 7 Days Instagram or Facebook page. Send us your
41:34caption that sort of fills in the blanks. You could win burger fuel for you and potentially
41:38others if you want to share that $100 voucher. You get stuck in. We will take a break, but
41:42don't go far, because I'm chomping at the bit to get my dinger out for a classic game of
41:46Beat the Ding here on 7 Days Next.
42:02kia ora welcome back to the final of this epic episode of seven days where the game hangs in the
42:07balance only one round can lift the team to glory and bring the other crashing down in a burning
42:11heap and i'm talking of course about beat the ding or btt as everyone's calling it um i'm going
42:16to give each of our contestants a category of things to list and a lot of time before i go
42:20to
42:20town on this shiny dinger success earns the team a star failure earns them shame and embarrassment
42:25and no star here we go pakaranga bakery has horse meat pies back on the menu josh you have 10
42:32seconds
42:33to name eight types of bakery pie with a nay in between each one please go steak and mushroom
42:39noo uh mince noo mince and cheese noo apple noo blueberry noo three more custard noo
42:56sorry josh i couldn't give it to you anyway we do have a lot of feedback about blueberry pies we're
43:00going to find that in new zealand no one does a blueberry pie no why did i get the horse
43:03meat
43:04category jeremy racism all right new york mayor zoran mamdami is still receiving royalties for his
43:12brief career as a rapper where he used the name young cardamon reese i'll give you 14 seconds to
43:18come up with five possible hip-hop names based on herbs or spices go uh old sage the bastard
43:26uh uh uh uh perry perry twice as nice um uh cumin my pants um um uh uh uh uh
43:38salt and pepper
43:45i'll give you a star well done well done well done love the panic in your voice
43:49oh yeah all right lani daniels has claimed her third world title becoming new zealand's most
43:53decorated boxer bubba you have 10 seconds to show us four boxing punches and name them go oh my god
44:01what i'm the mother
44:06i'm sorry sorry
44:08i'm in the in the in the in the in the bitch
44:15i'm in the in the butt slapper
44:17the butt slapper we'll do it we'll play it
44:26that is a star well done bubba you get a star
44:30that is all she wrote for this episode i'm sure it comes to no surprise to you the winner of
44:33this
44:33week's show is team two congratulations well done enjoy your garlic naan boogie boards
44:43remember to wait 30 minutes after eating it to go swimming thank you all at home for watching stay
44:47safe out there wellington everyone else please join me in thanking our wonderful panelists madeline
44:51crumb josh reese bubba and brunley we'll see you in seven days on seven days
45:03thank you new zealand on air i know it's not an easy funding decision if you don't know how the
45:07funding rounds work basically we apply kind of end of the year that goes into a panelist who decides
45:12whether or not we deemed worthy for any of the money that's coming through uh that gets pulled down
45:17to a smaller funnel uh in which case we have to then compete against other shows maybe
45:21shh
45:22shh
45:22shh
45:22shh
45:22shh
45:22shh
45:24shh
45:25shh
45:27shh
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