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00:09Oh, God, I think I've got an ace in the hole.
00:12Okay, well, it's not exactly the most practical ensemble.
00:15Practical doesn't get you press.
00:17I need something that gives Madison Square Garden a headliner
00:19and also timeless, humble sex icon.
00:22Hmm, I always wonder what Machiavelli would have been like
00:25if he'd been warped by boomer misogyny.
00:27Ladies and gentlemen, Nico Hayes,
00:32the Palmetto's newest artist in residence.
00:39I know it's, like, obvious to say that an international rock star is hot,
00:42but, like, he's hot.
00:44Deborah?
00:45Hi.
00:45Would you like to do the carpet?
00:47Oh, me?
00:49I'm kind of shy, but sure, I'll try it.
01:11So how are you feeling about Marty's wedding?
01:13Oh.
01:14Oh, it's kind of like a colonoscopy.
01:16They happen every five years.
01:17They're a pain in the ass, but I'm passed out for most of it.
01:20Deborah?
01:20Hi.
01:21Lookin' aces.
01:23Hi.
01:24Oh, my gosh, we were just talking about your big day.
01:26Ah, yeah, well, Victoria wanted to keep it small,
01:28but I said, baby, this might be my last one.
01:31Let's blow it out.
01:33Might.
01:34Oh, nothing says love like a subjunctive bird.
01:38Congratulations on your show at Madison Square Garden.
01:41Oh, thank you.
01:42I miss New York to be young again, huh?
01:46I just can't picture you young.
01:49So sorry.
01:50I have to go say bonjour to the mini cheeseburgers.
01:53I'll see you guys.
01:54She calls the mini because that way it seems normal when she's five.
01:59Oh.
02:01Sorry.
02:01You can have it.
02:03Oh.
02:03Yeah, totally.
02:05Really appreciate it.
02:06I live with a woman who doesn't believe in having snacks in the house,
02:09so needed this.
02:10You got it.
02:11I love the tie.
02:12Very cool.
02:14Um, I got it at the men's section at the Ross Dress for Less on the Strip.
02:18Oh, never been.
02:19Oh, you must go.
02:20Okay, I'll check it out.
02:22Um, you might want to avert your eyes.
02:24I'm going to eat this really fast.
02:26I kind of want to watch.
02:27Okay, freak.
02:31Oh, my God.
02:32You think they'll let me play blackjack in this thing?
02:34Oh, Debra.
02:36Yes.
02:36This dress?
02:38Marty, no scotch?
02:39No, I need to stay sharp for these young VC guys who just bought the Palmetto Group.
02:43They're obsessed with hitting their macros and biohacking.
02:47There's so many new terms for eating disorders these days.
02:50Literally.
02:51So what are they like?
02:52They're young.
02:53Great guys.
02:54They're, uh, what do they call it?
02:56Strategically editing.
02:58Meaning they're offloading properties, like the Paradiso downtown.
03:01What?
03:02No, that casino's legendary.
03:04My grandma lost her retirement there.
03:06I mean, it should be protected as a historical landmark.
03:08I agree.
03:09But it's above my pay grade now.
03:12Okay.
03:12They're coming this way.
03:13I gotta go.
03:14Marcus, what's a cool app I can bring up?
03:16Um, Chase Mobile Banking.
03:19Okay.
03:20Hi, Debra.
03:21Nico is a huge fan.
03:22He's wondering if you have a moment to meet him.
03:25Oh, certainly.
03:25Okay, right.
03:27Excuse me, fellas.
03:30I almost wore that.
03:31So, first she dates Jim Carrey in the mask, green.
03:35And then Fiona's dating Shred Green.
03:37I'm going, what is happening here?
03:39Are you saying that Cameron Diaz has a green guy fetish?
03:41I'm not saying she's a fetish.
03:42But I'm saying if it happens again, then something's afoot.
03:45Isn't she in the green hornets?
03:47Oh, my God.
03:48Oh, my God.
03:48This goes all the way to the top.
03:51Sorry, have a sec.
03:52Um, oh.
03:54No, I have to go.
03:55Oh.
03:56Sorry.
03:58It was nice meeting you.
03:59You too, yeah.
04:01See ya.
04:03Uh, okay.
04:03I'm sorry.
04:04Um, I think you're really cute.
04:07Do you want to get a drink sometime?
04:09Yeah.
04:10Yeah.
04:10Yeah.
04:12Said it enough times.
04:13Yes.
04:14Okay.
04:14Uh, but I feel like I need to be up front with you because it's been kind of an issue
04:19in
04:20the past with dating.
04:21Um, I'm a sex worker.
04:25That is awesome.
04:26Really?
04:27Yeah, really.
04:28That is totally rocking.
04:30For sure.
04:30Oh, my God.
04:31I've been saying sex workers work forever.
04:33I wasn't the first one to say it, but I was definitely in the first thousand.
04:36Okay.
04:37Then.
04:38Cool.
04:38Cool.
04:39Yeah.
04:39Um, do you want to?
04:40Yeah, yeah.
04:41I'll put my number in.
04:43Oh, and, um, I should be up front with you as well.
04:46Well, I am a comedy writer, and that has been an issue for me when it comes to dating, just
04:51because we can be annoying, because we can be annoying.
05:21Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
05:23You know, I wouldn't be doing any of this if it wasn't for you.
05:25Oh, come on.
05:26Seriously.
05:27Before you did a residency, Vegas was just magicians and acrobats.
05:31You made it cool for artists.
05:34Yeah, I know my...
05:36Oh, don't say history.
05:38Icons.
05:43Welcome to Vegas.
05:45Yes.
05:46Can we get a picture?
05:47Yeah.
05:48I can help but dance on the ceiling when I'm with you.
05:52I'm dreaming.
05:53Oh, in your bubble, coming through my jeans.
05:58Change disassociating to reclining elegantly, and change sweatpants to cashmere slacks.
06:05Okay, so in Singapore, you were so depressed, you were reclining elegantly in cashmere slacks?
06:10Yeah, that's how I remember it.
06:13Me too.
06:13Oh, great.
06:14It's Jimmy.
06:15Hello, hello.
06:16Hello.
06:16So, I got a very interesting request.
06:19Nico Hayes' publicist called and said that Nico would love to take you out to dinner.
06:24Oh.
06:25Yeah, there are photos of you guys from last night that are breaking the internet.
06:27I mean, not literally.
06:29Though, my Wi-Fi is slow today.
06:32Anyway, there's already a hashtag.
06:33People are calling you guys Nikara.
06:35Hmm, how interesting.
06:36I do want to flag that I'm not pressuring you in any way into any sort of sexual situation.
06:42It's very important to me that you have your own private, intimate, sensual life,
06:46and that I have no influence over that.
06:47And as a matter of safety, I am recording this conversation.
06:50Jimmy, he's not asking me out on a real date.
06:53He's just trying to get attention for his new residency.
06:55It's a PR stunt date.
06:57I'm very shrewd of him.
06:58And since I'm so bound and gagged, I need all the free publicity I can get.
07:02So, yeah, tell her I'm in.
07:03Okay, great.
07:04You two can talk shop, performer to performer.
07:06You know what I always say, stars, they're just like each other.
07:11Oh, while I have you, do you want to be a guest on a Xena Rewatch podcast?
07:15I have a fake date.
07:16I know.
07:17You take every call on speakerphone directly next to your head.
07:25With these beings removed, this ceiling just opens up.
07:29Smells like dust.
07:30You know, I hate it when you say we're going to the gym and then you just bring me on
07:33a
07:33tour of some old-ass building.
07:35I've only done that three times.
07:36Besides, this is different.
07:37They're going to tear down one of the only historic casinos left in Vegas.
07:40I mean, with a little work, this could be such a cool space for people who want to stay
07:44somewhere different.
07:44Like what the Ace did in Palm Springs.
07:46I love the slippers there.
07:48Like a blowjob for the feet.
07:50Okay, so you want me to go around knocking on walls?
07:53Yeah, but in a real mask way.
07:55Trust me, it prevents price gouging.
07:57Here she comes.
07:57Hi.
07:58I'm so sorry, Emily.
08:00I thought I found a lump in my breast.
08:01It turned out it was a dried wasabi tea in my bra.
08:04Hi, Meredith.
08:05Marcus, and that's such good news.
08:07Wow.
08:10Well, you like what you see?
08:11I really do.
08:12I think this is such a special property and I would hate to see it turn into a parking
08:16lot.
08:16I agree completely.
08:17We are on the same page.
08:21What are you, 6'2"?
08:236'4"?
08:23Oh, my God.
08:25My ex, 5'5".
08:27It was like walking around with a minion.
08:29So I was going through the archives, admiring the marble floors before the reno.
08:33Yeah.
08:33Do you know if they're still underneath the carpet?
08:35You know what?
08:35Here's my motto.
08:36If they don't disclose, I don't stick my nose.
08:38Okay, so I have no idea.
08:40But for you, I might stick my nose somewhere.
08:44Okay.
08:44All right, here's the deal.
08:45I find you very attractive and I'd like you to take me out on Friday.
08:50Okay?
08:51Oh, that clunkity-clunk?
08:54Oh.
08:55That's a red flag, brother.
08:56Um, I think we're going to need like another 10% off probably.
09:00Who's this?
09:00This is my friend, Wilson.
09:02He has come to check out the property with me.
09:04So.
09:07Is this your boyfriend?
09:08No, I mean, we used to date, but now we're just better off as friends.
09:11Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.
09:13Oh, don't be.
09:14I'm sorry.
09:15Encroached on your territory.
09:16My bad.
09:16Will you forgive me?
09:17Yeah, you're good.
09:18Okay, how about this?
09:19Only thing better than a date this weekend is two gay guys to hang out with.
09:23Guacamole, chips, Friday?
09:26Um...
09:26Do you want this fucking place or not?
09:28Yes.
09:28Let's go, girls.
09:29This way.
09:30Let me show you upstairs.
09:31Oh, wait.
09:33This way.
09:38Deborah?
09:39I'm in my closet!
09:48Hey!
09:49Hey, what's up?
09:50Do you have a pair of tweezers I could borrow?
09:52I've been waiting for this day.
09:55Okay, are we going between the brows or we start from the ground up with the big toe?
09:58Oh, I have a splinter.
10:03God, there is something so exciting about getting ready for a date with a man.
10:07Maybe it's the tiny threat of being killed at the end of the night.
10:12Well, mine's not really a date.
10:13It's publicity, so it's more of a work function.
10:16Why are you so sure it's not a real date?
10:18Maybe he's legitimately into you.
10:20Even if he was, I'm not into him.
10:21He's not my type.
10:22He's just too young and pretty.
10:24I'm the pretty one.
10:26Yeah.
10:27Anyway, what are you going to wear on your date?
10:28Oh.
10:32This.
10:35Go ahead.
10:36That looks like something that my grandson would wear so that he could poop out the back.
10:40God, I wish.
10:41It'd be so convenient.
10:42All right.
10:43I'll text you after the date.
10:45Cool.
10:46Thanks.
10:47Bye, girl.
10:51Hi, doll.
10:52How's my favorite paparazzo?
10:53Sensational.
10:54We still on for tonight?
10:55Oh, yeah.
10:56Daily Mail's already chomping at the bid for these pigs.
10:58Great.
10:59I'd say I'd get my good side, but I've paid to have them both be good.
11:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:11Hi.
11:12Hello.
11:14You look beautiful.
11:16Ditto.
11:17I think we have the same stylist.
11:19Well, it looks better on you.
11:22Good evening.
11:23Hi.
11:24Cell phones.
11:25I love it here.
11:26I put a sticker on your camera so nobody can take any photos.
11:28It's discreet.
11:29It's private.
11:30We can relax.
11:31That's great.
11:33I've been looking forward to this all day.
11:36Me too.
11:38Okay.
11:38Follow me.
11:39After you.
11:49Oh, um, sorry.
11:50I just want to clarify something.
11:52Just FYI, I don't expect us to hook up tonight just because you're a sex worker.
11:55Just, like, you wouldn't expect me to, like, write a monologue joke for you.
11:58Just saying.
11:59I don't expect you to blow my back out.
12:02Yeah.
12:03But it's not work if you love what you do.
12:06All right.
12:07Okay.
12:07I love that.
12:09But, um, in general, though, that phrase is kind of like a capitalist propaganda message
12:13to get people to, like, self-identify with their labor output to amass of our productive
12:17hours.
12:19Wow.
12:21Did you go to grad school?
12:24That's the hottest thing anyone's ever said to me.
12:31You knew little Richard.
12:33Knew him?
12:34He offered me $5,000 to let him watch me pee.
12:37No.
12:38Oh, I would have done it.
12:39But he was just so over-eager.
12:41Just kind of took the fun out of him.
12:42Oh, my God.
12:43That's insane.
12:45So, are you going to have your parents come see your show?
12:50Um, no.
12:51I'm not really close to my family.
12:53I emancipated from my parents when I was 15.
12:57Really?
12:58Yeah.
12:59Um, my dad sold my homecoming photos to E! News, and that was kind of the final straw.
13:07The press are fucking vultures.
13:10When I saw those stories about you having a breakdown, I knew it was bullshit.
13:18So, you just moved to Vegas all on your own, just to do shows every night?
13:24Yeah, didn't you?
13:28Yeah.
13:31I don't mind doing things on my own.
13:33And cutting ties with my parents was actually great for me.
13:37I took control of my career.
13:39It ended up being the best decision I ever made.
13:43Good for you.
13:45When I know what I want, I don't hesitate.
13:57Maybe I should have hesitated that time.
13:59No.
13:59I just...
14:02I was just going to say I'm exactly the same.
14:17Papa's got a brand new bag.
14:22She didn't know it either.
14:24Debra, Debra, right here.
14:25Nico, right here.
14:27Hey, back up.
14:28Come on, give us room.
14:29Right here, buddy.
14:30Right here, right here.
14:30Give her space.
14:31I'm not saying it again.
14:32Give her space.
14:32This is such a violation.
14:34This is, my girl.
14:35What's wrong with you people?
14:36Just leave us alone.
14:38There you go.
14:39Protect you.
14:39Seriously.
14:40Your bottom caters.
14:41You're just...
14:42Why don't you get a real job?
14:44Scum.
14:45Yes, you are.
14:47Yes, you are.
14:48We love you.
14:50Unbelievable.
14:53That's money.
14:55So, I am going to see him again, but not until the weekend, because tomorrow night he's having
15:01sex with a married woman while her husband watches from a recliner.
15:04Oh.
15:04Really exciting.
15:05And then Friday, he's having sex with someone in a wheelchair.
15:09Oh.
15:09Which is so cool.
15:10Sex work is so important.
15:12Of course.
15:14Oh, good.
15:15You can talk to Debra now.
15:16Oh.
15:18Okay.
15:20Hey.
15:22Hey.
15:24You okay?
15:27Oh, Ava.
15:30You were right.
15:31It was real.
15:33Oh, my God.
15:35We actually have so much in common.
15:38I mean, he's sexy and he's smart and he's funny.
15:43He's just a great sense of style.
15:46Oh, Ava.
15:48We made out.
15:49Oh, my God!
15:52We didn't bury the lead.
15:54You kissed a girly guy and you liked it.
15:57Are you going to see him again?
15:58I hope so.
16:00I have a good idea.
16:01What?
16:03Invite him to Marty's wedding.
16:04Oh, I couldn't.
16:05Yes.
16:05Could I?
16:06Of course you could.
16:07You have a plus one, don't you?
16:09Do you think you'd want to?
16:11Yes!
16:12Yes!
16:13Text him now.
16:13Okay.
16:16Okay.
16:17Oh, he already texted me.
16:19What did he say?
16:20I had a wonderful night.
16:21All right, next time we should get pumpkin soup.
16:24What?
16:26What?
16:26No, it was just pumpkin soup.
16:28It was just this whole bit and we were laughing.
16:31How hard were you laughing?
16:33Oh, stop!
16:35All right, tell me what I should say.
16:36Okay, okay.
16:37Um, I had a wonderful night.
16:38Okay, me too.
16:39And then be like, hey, going to this random ass wedding next weekend.
16:44Want to be my plus one.
16:46Want to be my plus one.
16:47Yeah.
16:47Great.
16:48Yeah.
16:48Oh, my God.
16:49Okay, which emojis?
16:50No, no emojis.
16:52No.
16:53Okay.
16:53Send.
16:56Okay, see the little bubbles.
16:58He sticks me back.
16:58He sticks me back.
16:59This man's on his phone.
17:00Oh, my God.
17:05Literally funny.
17:06That is hilarious.
17:07Can I wear white?
17:09Really, really funny.
17:10I told you it was funny.
17:11Oh, my God.
17:11Oh, my God.
17:12He's in.
17:12He's in.
17:13Oh, my God.
17:14Okay, I gotta call Marty.
17:15Oh, my God.
17:16Wait, right now?
17:17It's ringing.
17:18Okay.
17:23Oh, my God.
17:27Deb, you all right?
17:28All right, Marty.
17:29I need to change my RSVP to your wedding.
17:31I am bringing a guest after all.
17:32He's this really hot, young guy, and he's really funny, too.
17:35Oh, you know him.
17:36Nico Hayes.
17:37Okay, that's fine.
17:39I'll tell the wedding planner.
17:41Good night now.
17:41Oh, Marty, can I bring a sex worker?
17:44Yeah, sure.
17:45Go ahead.
17:49Oh, my God.
18:01Hi.
18:02Hey.
18:04So, now you're a fan.
18:06Huge.
18:06Hey, listen.
18:08What do you think these lyrics are about?
18:11Um.
18:11Oh, never mind.
18:12I'll have Damien Google it.
18:13Want some coffee?
18:14Tea?
18:15No, no, this will be quick.
18:16I just want to get your advice on something.
18:17Sure.
18:18So, after Marty told us about the Paradiso, I went down and took a look.
18:23I'm thinking about buying it.
18:25I'm going to renovate it, make it a cool boutique hotel, casino, since there's really nothing like it left in
18:30the city.
18:30Wow.
18:31That's interesting.
18:33I've always loved that space.
18:34Oh, I know.
18:34The location is perfect.
18:36Historical building.
18:37Yeah, but, oh.
18:38I mean, that's a huge undertaking.
18:41I mean, you have to deal with the gaming commission, the unions, the permits.
18:46Plus, tourism is down.
18:49And there's a reason there's no independent casinos anymore.
18:53I don't know.
18:54That's an awful big risk.
18:57So you wouldn't?
18:59If I were you, no.
19:01Keep your money in an index and wait for a lower lift.
19:03Oh, you're right.
19:04You're right.
19:05Thanks for the reality check.
19:08I mean, I could get a discount if I sleep with the realtor.
19:11Oh, is he cute?
19:12He's a woman.
19:13Oh.
19:14Yeah.
19:14Sorry.
19:16You know what else I found out about Nico?
19:18Yeah.
19:18He's a huge anti-bullying advocate.
19:20Isn't that cool?
19:21That could be an issue for you.
19:24Oh, shut up.
19:31I still can't believe you bought this whole place out.
19:34Well, I wanted us to be free, to, you know, do whatever.
19:50So, how was your first week of the show?
19:53Oh, it was okay.
19:54Just okay?
19:56When I tour, I change up the set list.
19:58And here, I'm doing the same exact show every night.
20:01And I'm just getting used to it.
20:03Oh, yeah.
20:04I get it.
20:06But just remember, people come from all over the world to see residencies here.
20:11And even though you're in the same place, doing the same thing, you know, I like to think
20:15of it as performing for the whole world all at once.
20:18Hmm.
20:19It's a good way of looking at it.
20:23I think there's a lot I could learn from you.
20:26Oh, yeah?
20:27Yeah.
20:27How about we skip dessert and get out of here?
20:31Check, please?
20:34Oh.
20:38Oh.
20:46God damn.
20:48I see why you do that for a living.
20:53You aren't so bad yourself.
20:58Um, listen, I don't want to, um, jump the G word gun.
21:05But, um, the owner of the Palmetto is getting married next Saturday, and I have a plus one
21:11if, if you want to come with me.
21:13I don't know.
21:15I, yeah.
21:17Yeah, I, I would love that.
21:19Okay, cool.
21:20I don't think I have a gig that day.
21:22Oh, my God.
21:23No pressure.
21:24I know that, like, dating a sex worker means that, like, you might not be available on nights
21:30or, or weekends.
21:31No, this wouldn't be for that, um, I thought I might have a magic show that day, um, but
21:36no, looks like I'm free.
21:40What?
21:41What?
21:42Oh, well, sex work pays the bills, but my dream job is magician.
21:54Wow.
21:55Yeah, why did you think I moved to Vegas?
21:57To be a prostitute.
21:59What?
21:59I, no, no, no, um, here, let me show you a trick.
22:10Okay, all right, now, I know what you're thinking.
22:14This is just a regular box of unlit matches, right?
22:18I wish.
22:19But guess, again.
22:24I think it's the lube all over my hands.
22:27Fuck, you weren't supposed to see the coins, but it's a work in progress.
22:35I'll practice.
22:36Bob.
22:37What?
22:39You're me, probably, because there was a coin in your ear.
22:41Oh!
22:42Isn't that...
22:43Ow!
22:46That's a good one, too.
22:47You want that one?
22:50They're coming out!
22:52Oh, no.
22:53Back to home.
22:54Nico, how was the date?
22:55How are you two official?
22:56No, out of the way.
22:57Oh, come on, Dave.
22:59You called me before, but nothing for us tonight?
23:03Don't listen to him.
23:05It's fine.
23:12Larry, can you give us a second?
23:17Was it you who called the paparazzi on our first date?
23:23Yes.
23:24And was it you who put the napkin I used on eBay?
23:27No!
23:28I feel totally violated.
23:32Listen, listen.
23:33I did call them on our first date, but not the other times.
23:37Why would you call them at all?
23:39Because when you asked me out, I thought you were doing it for publicity, which I totally get.
23:44But once I knew that you genuinely liked me, I realized that I felt the same.
23:49I can't do this.
23:53Nico, don't let one little mistake ruin us.
23:56What us?
23:57Us, us.
24:00Nico, uh.
24:01I'd like to go home now.
24:05Maybe you can get a ride home with your paparazzi friend.
24:08Come on, Nico.
24:09Come on.
24:16Oh, trouble in paradise.
24:18Nico, you and your old women are gone.
24:25Yeah, the wedding is cocktail attire, 4 o'clock.
24:29Yeah, I think I'm busy that day.
24:31Oh, no.
24:34Oh, no.
24:35Oh, no.
24:35Oh, no.
24:35Oh, Dad.
24:36Tonight it's just another...
24:38Walk of shame.
24:39Another alibi.
24:40Hope you got some comfy shoes on, Dad.
24:42I'm not gonna let you retouch these.
24:44To keep the tears from coming.
24:47To keep the tears from coming.
24:47Coming to my eyes.
24:51Oh, oh.
24:52Not another alibi.
24:56Hey.
24:57What's going on?
24:58I've been waiting for you downstairs.
24:59You want to work up here?
25:00Sure.
25:01Whatever.
25:02So, I think we should start with the opener,
25:04because it's not really feeling there yet.
25:05Right?
25:06What do you think?
25:10Debra?
25:11Who are you texting?
25:12Nobody.
25:14Let me see your phone.
25:15No.
25:16That's an invasion of my privacy.
25:19Debra?
25:19Let me see it.
25:21Let me see it.
25:22What are you doing?
25:23What?
25:24Stop it!
25:25What is wrong with you?
25:27Let me walk out!
25:28God damn it!
25:29Ah!
25:29Get to me!
25:30Oh!
25:30God, you're strong!
25:31Jesus!
25:32Ah!
25:33Shit!
25:34Oh, my God!
25:35Debra, no!
25:36There's so much blue!
25:37You're writing him a novel!
25:39Well, Nico hadn't gotten back to me for a while,
25:41so I was just bumping.
25:42No.
25:43These texts say not delivered.
25:45Oh.
25:47Oh, well, thank God.
25:48I mean, that...
25:49Well, that means he hasn't even gotten them.
25:51That's a relief.
25:52No, Debra.
25:53It means...
25:56He blocked you.
25:59What?
26:01Yeah.
26:02He...
26:03He blocked me.
26:04Blocked ya.
26:06I'll block him right back.
26:08Okay.
26:08I'll block him straight to hell!
26:10Hey!
26:10I'm gonna go downstairs.
26:11I'm gonna get you a Diet Coke.
26:13I'm gonna bring up my copy of Anxiously Attached,
26:15How to Be More Secure in Life and Love,
26:16and then we're gonna get back to work.
26:17Okay?
26:19Hey!
26:19He blocked you.
26:21He's not getting those texts.
26:22So say you.
26:23Oh, my God.
26:28How do you block back?
26:32Ah!
26:34Chill!
26:48Debra!
26:49This is my date, Eli.
26:51Eli, this is my boss, writing partner, and housemate, Debra.
26:55It's nice to meet you.
26:56I hope you two can hold on to what you have.
27:00I'm gonna get another drink.
27:04Sorry.
27:04She's usually much meaner than that.
27:06Well, well, well.
27:08Doth my eyes deceive me,
27:10or is my standing Sunday afternoon appointment
27:13at that Vegas wedding of the year?
27:15Hi, Joanna.
27:16Hey.
27:18Eli's my date.
27:19Yeah, listen, I know from experience
27:21he's only got about three or four in the tank daily,
27:23so, you know, don't wear him all the way out, sister.
27:25Hello, Mayor Pesimentee.
27:27Hello, my lovely constituents.
27:29Marilyn and Herman, this is...
27:32Ava.
27:33I work with Debra Vance.
27:34I think we met at the town hall
27:35where Debra argued against the city
27:37recognizing Labor Day.
27:38Of course.
27:39Yes.
27:40And this is Eli.
27:41Pleasure to meet you.
27:42And what do you do?
27:43I'm a magician.
27:44A magician illusionist.
27:46Well, he's a sex worker.
27:48Mainly.
27:49Oh.
27:49Oh, he's not a worker.
27:51He's an artist.
27:52And I've heard the term gigolo.
27:54More European.
27:55Right?
28:04today.
28:10Ready?
28:23Good.
28:24We're doing good.
28:26We're doing good.
28:26You're doing good.
28:26And good.
28:28Elinor Guillaume, you're under arrest.
28:30Victoria! What the hell?
28:32Who's Elinor? What's going on?
28:34Miss Guillaume is one of her fraud, domestically and in France.
28:37Sorry about the timing, sir, but we had to apprehend her before she fled the country.
28:41You mean her honeymoon?
28:42Martin, the name was fake, but the love was real.
28:48I demand to be tried in France.
28:50We'd appreciate if everyone would please stay at the venue.
28:52We're gonna need to get some statements.
28:54Let's go.
28:57Don't take me, don't take me, stop.
28:59Wow.
29:00I'll be back.
29:05Yeah.
29:07And I thought the dress was criminal.
29:10Just tell him.
29:20Are you kidding? No, you don't. Come on.
29:23Please, I know you're faking it. You're good at that.
29:25Hey, I was just grilling him. Seems to really like you, Raggedy Ann.
29:30I offered him $2,000 for the night and he wouldn't take it.
29:33Oh, you should do it. Yeah, you should do it. I don't want to hold you back.
29:37No, I want to spend the night with you. Make sure the coin trick later. It's getting really tight.
29:42No, no, no, no, no. You should, you should get that money.
29:45Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Listen to my Eskimo sister here.
29:49Why are you pressuring me to do sex work? Do you have an issue with my magic?
29:54Oh, I got no issue. We could do it Voldemort style.
29:58Ava? Do I have an issue with your magic? It's an interesting question.
30:02I just, I guess I just feel like you're so, so good at sex and sex work is so important.
30:08And I guess I just feel like magic is less important.
30:14Wait, you said that you were okay with whatever I did for work.
30:17I didn't think that one of those things could be magic. I mean, come on,
30:21don't you feel a little cringe when you're doing the tricks? Like, honestly.
30:25No, I feel a little more cringe when a stranger sticks a personalized dildo of their ex-boyfriend's
30:30dick in my mouth. Fit like a glove, as I recall.
30:34Hey, I'm not here to sex shame. No, you're just here to magic shame.
30:38This is so fucked up. Looking down on me for being a magician is just as bad as looking down
30:44on me for
30:44being a sex worker. No, it's not. Magicians aren't marginalized.
30:48The name one magician who's ever served on the Supreme Court.
30:51Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
30:53Okay, okay, listen. It's getting a little heated here. Let's relax. Let's go up to my room, have a little
30:57nightcap. You can come too if haven't been patty. That's the gay one, right?
31:03No. We're done. And I'm done doing sex work.
31:08Hey. No. No. Don't be rash.
31:10I'm going to make it as a magician. And I'm going to prove you wrong.
31:18Supposed to be smoke. No. No. Oh my god. Hey. Hey. God.
31:26What did you do? Listen to me. It's Saturday at dusk. You got 18 hours to find me a new
31:33Sunday boy.
31:34So tick tock, Missy. Oh my god. Fuck, man.
31:38I'm not getting you a Sunday boy. You don't want to talk to you anymore.
31:47Come in.
31:52Hey. You okay?
31:56How could I be so stupid?
31:59Well, she was old. It was the perfect smokescreen.
32:02Yeah, they're calling what she did to be elder fraud. It's peer-to-peer fraud.
32:11I really thought she was the one.
32:13Well, her real crime is not realizing how wonderful you are.
32:30Deb, I know this is crazy, but what do you say we get married?
32:35The priest is still here. The caterers are ready to go. Me and you. Come on. Let's finally do it.
32:42Marty.
32:45Deborah and Marie Vance. Will you marry me?
32:51No.
32:53Oh, god.
32:57Marty.
32:57Marty.
33:00You know how I feel about you. But you've got to stop asking people to marry you. It's a compulsion.
33:07Yeah, I guess you're right. Man, I just feel like such a loser.
33:14If it makes you feel any better, I was just dumped and blocked by an international rock star.
33:20Okay. Sounds like you still got the day to rock star.
33:23Yeah, but I got my heart broken. I've been very sad about it. But I mean, I should actually be
33:29thrilled.
33:30I mean, what a gift to still be taking risks. Come on. We both got our hearts broken.
33:37Aren't you glad that you're still putting yourself out there like that? I mean, a lot of people our age
33:41are just too busy
33:43collecting commemorative coins.
33:46You love falling in love. And you will again. I know it. I mean, you own multiple properties.
33:55You still have your own hair. You're chum in the water.
34:00Well, are you sure you don't want to be Mrs. Marty Vance?
34:07I'll tell you what. If we're both single, when we're 100, I'll marry you.
34:14Well, that's something to look forward to.
34:27Marcus. Marcus.
34:31I was wrong. You should do the paradesa. It is exactly what Vegas needs.
34:35I appreciate that. I really do. But you were right. My business manager looked at the numbers,
34:40and it is too big of a risk. If you don't take risks, you're as good as dead. What if
34:46we did it
34:46together? And now, I'm not trying to insert myself here. I could be as involved as you want.
34:53But I miss working with you. I miss conniving with you. We will be partners this time. Totally equal. Or
35:01I
35:01could just be a silent investor. Whatever you want. What do you say? Want to?
35:11I do.
35:17What a great day.
35:25Wow. Isn't it beautiful? If you would have told me five years ago that I would be part
35:29owner of a casino, I would not have believed you. You own no part of this. You are literally just
35:35here.
35:35Yeah, but even that is crazy. Oh, wait. What? Kiki just sent me this video. She thinks it's about you.
35:48But you're a funny girl. Yeah, something's funny. Funny how you lie so easily.
35:59So I guess the joke's on me. Whoa, funny girl.
36:06Oh, his fan army is really coming after you in the comments. What? Let me see.
36:11They're calling me chopped. What does that mean? I mean, am I in danger?
36:15No, no. They're just insulting your looks. What? That's even worse.
36:21I don't know. Is it? I mean, people are going to want to hear your side of the story at
36:24the MSG show.
36:24It could be good for ticket sales. That's true. And if you can make art about me,
36:30I can make art about him. It's a two-way street. I need to clap back. Call Diane Warren!
36:38I'm not gonna lay down and die. So fuck you and fuck your goodbye. I'm the one who'll be fine.
36:51You're the one who'll be crying. So take one last look, cause it's all you're gonna get. You're gonna miss
36:59all this.
37:00Cause you'll regret the day you left. You'll see. You won't find no way that's cool as me.
37:09What are the reasons I've been sorry for you? You're someone that I would hate to be.
37:17I'd hate to be.
37:19I'd hate to be the one who's in me.
37:25I hate to be the one losing me
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