- 7 hours ago
Animal Control - Season 4 Episode 12 -
Golden Moose and Wiener Dogs
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Golden Moose and Wiener Dogs
tele: https://t.me/TopFilmUSA1
#film#shows#usa#usashows#hot#filmhot
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good morning Seattle, and welcome to Old Town's 17th Annual Wiener Parade!
00:06We've got food trucks, we've got marching bands, and of course, the Wiener Queen!
00:11At 17 years old, Her Majesty is the longest living wiener in Washington's history!
00:17I don't like one bit of this. Something feels off.
00:20You just say that every time we experience whimsy.
00:23No, a parade is no place for whimsy.
00:25Whimsy is for college improv teams before they all have sex with each other, ruining the dynamic.
00:29Deems, this is Ace. I've got a pocket queen. Check in. Is everything go prosthetic?
00:32No, it's your worst nightmare, Frank. People are having fun.
00:35Yeah, everything's cool. There's all that and a bag of chips.
00:38You want to eat something, Vince?
00:45Put your hands together for the Memorial High School Marching Band, the Fighting Badgers!
00:51For the love of God, no. Dachshunds hunt badgers. It's in their DNA, along with short legs and back problems.
01:01Take your hand off! Show him you're a man!
01:05Take your hand off!
01:08It's Jacob! It's Jacob!
01:13Brian!
01:15I lost the queen. She's old and blind. She doesn't stand a chance.
01:18I got eyes on the queen. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of a sausage party, and we're all invited.
01:25I saved the queen!
01:27I mean, it's a dog, but still dressed like a queen! It's peeing all over me!
01:34From The
02:04He's excited for the Animal Control Officer of the Year Award weekend in Bellingham!
02:08Are you going to be like this for the entire two-hour bus ride?
02:11Well, I for one am jazzed because two of our Cootie nominees hail from our very own precinct.
02:16We have Frank Shaw and Templeton Dunn.
02:25Future winners get the board of the bus first.
02:26Let's bring home that heart.
02:27Where's he, Rufy?
02:28You know, there's a world where Templeton's compression socks cut the blood off to his
02:32heart and I win by default.
02:33Frank, I'm really excited to watch you.
02:35Glad hand on the campaign trail, but I do have one note.
02:37Too handsome?
02:38Yeah, it's a curse I've had to deal with most of my life since a very successful puberty.
02:42We need to talk handshakes.
02:43You come from a time when it was fun to squeeze hard, but that's not where we're at now.
02:47Yeah, see that?
02:48That's crazy.
02:49I need you to win the golden moose so that Templeton doesn't because I know him and he's
02:52going to try and leverage a win to take over the precinct.
02:55So, no pressure, but I need your most charming and least offensive.
02:58Well, it's tricky because people find my offensiveness charming.
03:00If he takes over, I mean, it's going to be a nuclear winter.
03:03Forced overtimes, creepy one-on-one performance reviews, and say goodbye to riddle of the
03:07day.
03:08Uh, riddle of the day is the first thing to go.
03:10After that, we're going gender specific uniforms, girls in skirts, boys in shorts.
03:19Are you leaving for good?
03:20Supplies for my annual cocktail party.
03:22We had a huge crowd for speakeasy for sheezy last year.
03:25This year's theme is Freaky Tiki.
03:27I don't know what to expect.
03:28I'm loving Akuti Patel, man.
03:3048 hours away from the family, so full of life.
03:32It's a little glimpse of what could have been, brother.
03:34Okay, no flaming cocktails, though, because after the fire that Victoria started last year,
03:38we're kind of on thin ice with the menu.
03:40Um, you neglect to mention me saving all of our co-workers by pulling the fire alarm.
03:43All without spilling my margarita al fuego.
03:45Thanks to you, I spent the evening shivering on the sidewalk.
03:48Yeah, because you ripped your shirt off as you were running down the hallway.
03:50That was for speed.
03:52Look, I'm sure it was an accident, sort of, but you know you're banned from the hotel, right?
03:56No, no, no.
03:56I'm banned from booking a room at the hotel.
03:58That doesn't mean that I can't find someone to crash with.
04:01And this is like the horniest animal control weekend of the year.
04:03I'm sure someone will take it astray.
04:04All right, let's get around the bus.
04:10Welcome, everybody.
04:11I'm Wayne Peters, and I'm running this year's a cooties.
04:13Quick administrative housekeeping note.
04:15Uh, I've noticed a few officers walking around in these What Happens in Bellingham t-shirts.
04:21This is a work event, and we do not want a repeat of last year.
04:25No, we do not. You?
04:27Because what happens in Bellingham can wind up on your professional record.
04:31Okay, let's go get them.
04:33Meantime, cocktails and so forth. Enjoy yourselves.
04:38Hey, so I haven't checked in yet. Should we try to get conjoining rooms?
04:42What? No, of course not. Didn't you hear what Wayne said? Does this still work?
04:46Wait, so everybody's gonna hook up with a co-worker here except for us?
04:49Exactly.
04:53Morgan from Oregon. Oh, I barely recognize you with that pretty dress. Get out of here, girl.
04:57Jerry! Hey, coot flats on the empty nest, brother.
05:00My kids are doing great, though. I've got one in travel soccer, the other one is doing debate.
05:04Wait, what am I talking about my kids at a party?
05:06Big thing you know, I'll be trying to show you pictures of my baby eating with a fork.
05:10It is pretty cute, though.
05:13Hey, cheers to last year's a cootie winner.
05:16Did they put you up in a penthouse?
05:18No, just a garden unit.
05:19Tell me more about this unit.
05:21It's pretty nice. It's got one of those retractable clotheslines in the shower and everything.
05:24My clothes get so wet.
05:26And he looks confident.
05:27I was a nervous wreck this time last year, and I didn't even have to write a speech.
05:31Wait, Frank has to give a speech?
05:33Yeah.
05:34Can I talk to you out here for a second?
05:36Okay, everybody here is going nuts on each other.
05:39On the walk over, every other door had a do not disturb sign on.
05:42Just try not to think about it, you know, enjoy the party.
05:46Okay, yeah, this is rough.
05:47She is really getting in there.
05:48Yeah.
05:49You can count on the guy that rescued 24 animals in 24 hours.
05:53Hey, um, did you know that you have to make a speech tomorrow night?
05:57Yeah, acceptance.
05:58No, this is a speech about what being an animal control officer means to you, and it's a new thing
06:01this year.
06:02Wait, you have to give a speech and you didn't know about it?
06:04Guys, I know that I have to give a speech.
06:08Now, if you'll excuse me.
06:10Ooh.
06:12Are you, uh, enjoying the party?
06:14Damn it, if you'll excuse me.
06:15Okay.
06:17Yoo-hoo.
06:18Hello.
06:19Erin, do you mind if I just jump in here real quick?
06:21No, it's like crawl all over again.
06:23But don't take my word for it.
06:26Take mine.
06:29Confirming you can still see the teleprompter with the video?
06:31I don't need it.
06:32I memorized this three weeks ago.
06:33I have a photographic memory.
06:34That's why women don't change in front of me.
06:36Yeah, that's one of the reasons why.
06:38You kept the speech requirement from me?
06:40I did.
06:40When I took over your desk, I started intercepting your emails.
06:44Oh, your dentist says happy birthday, by the way.
06:46I lost a molar because I didn't get that appointment reminder.
06:49I don't think you're gonna be smiling anyway, sputtering improvised sentence fragments in front of a full room of your
06:54very judgmental peers.
06:55Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fitting because you just ruined my rehearsal.
06:59We're done.
06:59The 2-3 is coming for you.
07:01Are you afraid?
07:02Because you should be.
07:04No, I'm not afraid.
07:06Stop it.
07:07Stop.
07:08Stop.
07:17Hi.
07:18Oh, if it isn't the almost arsonist of Bellingham.
07:21Oh, I can't talk right now.
07:24I'm writing the speech.
07:25I just hit a flow state.
07:27Oh, let's see what's flowed out of you so far.
07:29Well, faucets not fully cranked.
07:31What does job mean to Frank?
07:34Uh, Templeton really screwed you over.
07:35You might as well do your go-to and rip your shirt off because you're not gonna win people over
07:39with this.
07:39I just started an hour ago.
07:42I'll tell you what.
07:43I'll help you with your speech.
07:44You let me crash here.
07:45So your alley cat and heat strategy didn't work on anyone?
07:48You know what?
07:49I think I've underestimated the emotional trauma escaping a burning building leaves on people.
07:53And I bought these to sweeten the deal.
07:56Screwtops.
07:56Way to go.
08:02Thanks for meeting me here.
08:04I know it's not the honeymoon suite, but you know, it's ours.
08:10Okay, why are you kissing me like I'm your grandmother?
08:15Okay, I know this whole thing is hard.
08:18Yeah, it is.
08:19You won't come to my room, but we have to meet in like the coldest place in the hotel.
08:23You know I hate it too, but there's nothing we can really do about it.
08:26Yeah, but there is though.
08:27You said we could tell people two months ago and it's been four months.
08:30Okay, well the two month thing was just kind of like an estimate.
08:33It's just starting to feel like maybe you don't want people to know because I'm not worth the risk.
08:38Like that you don't think this can actually work.
08:42Ugh, it's hopeless.
08:45No, you just you have to hook people emotionally.
08:48That's the only way to win them over because people are stupid and they're ruled by their dumb hearts.
08:53I've spent a lifetime bottling up my feelings.
08:55Want me to spill it to these plebs?
08:57Yes, give me a good sob story.
09:00This is so beneath me.
09:05I had an awful dog named Buddy.
09:07Okay, not a great start.
09:08Here's the sad part.
09:10My mom got sick.
09:12Great, we're getting somewhere.
09:13Okay, let me write this down.
09:14And I don't know how, but Buddy sensed that I needed him and he turned into the sweetest guy.
09:23And on the morning my mom died, Buddy wouldn't leave my son.
09:27He knew my pain.
09:32Animals are amazing.
09:34Growing up, my bird always knew when I was high.
09:38Every time.
09:41He was the best.
09:42Sometimes I'm in the field and I see a dog that looks like Buddy.
09:46It reminds me of how great animals are to us.
09:52And I want to try my best for them.
09:55Unless the Buddy lookalike is rabid and then of course I keep my distance.
10:00I don't think I've ever heard you talk like an actual person before.
10:04Please do not tell anyone what has transpired here.
10:10I'm going to tell everyone.
10:17Frank, Frank are you hoping?
10:19I need you man.
10:22What is it?
10:23Hey man, me and Emily had a fight and I just...
10:27I need a bro to lean on right now.
10:29Wait, what happened?
10:30Is Emily okay?
10:31She's fine.
10:32I'm distraught.
10:33I'm sorry, do you mind?
10:34I think the boys need the room.
10:36Okay.
10:42I...
10:42I will text you the speech.
10:47Oh love.
10:51Emily!
10:52Take off your sleep apnea mask and turn off your rain forest soundscape.
10:56I need to sleep.
10:56And I want to make sure you're okay.
11:00Do you mind shutting the hell up?
11:02Uh, yeah, I do mind actually because I have nowhere to go and nobody wants to have seats with me
11:06which never happens so...
11:15Fine, you can bunk with me.
11:17But I'm a very active sleeper so don't crowd me or you might get punched.
11:36Daddy!
11:37Hi.
11:38Are you okay?
11:40Hi.
11:41Uh, what are you guys doing here?
11:44Hi, kids.
11:45I miss you so much.
11:46Oh my God, you'll love this place.
11:48You have to come.
11:49I mean, I'm telling you the only thing that's good about my life is my family.
11:52Guys, Daddy, uh, I had a lot to drink last night.
11:55Can you just...
11:57Thank you, Raquel St. James and Lieutenant Peeches.
12:00Uh, I'd also like to ask everyone else, please act respectfully to the nominees.
12:04It takes a lot of courage to get up here.
12:07Stop saying moose.
12:08It sounds like you're booing.
12:10Let's keep this a cootie train moving, huh?
12:12With our next nominee, Templeton Dutch, who has asked me to issue a strobe light warning to pregnant women and
12:19the weak.
12:21Yeah, thank you.
12:22You might learn something.
12:25Cue the fog.
12:34Daisy, cut the fog.
12:37I had a feast for the eyes plan, but tonight's about the animals.
12:41So I want to speak from the heart.
12:44Growing up, I had an awful dog named Buddy.
12:47Then, my mom got sick.
12:49No.
12:50Cue the strings.
12:52What the hell is happening?
12:54I don't...
12:55And it's like he knew that I needed him.
12:59He turned into the sweetest guy.
13:01And when my mom died, he...
13:04He never left my side that day.
13:06First he steals my bear rescue, then he steals my desk, and now he steals my dead mom?
13:10Sometimes when I'm in a field and I see a dog that looks like Buddy, I'm reminded of all the
13:15great things that animals do for us.
13:17So I try to do my best for them.
13:25That's my slob.
13:26He fed you my slob.
13:29How did he get my slob?
13:30Daisy must have stolen it off my phone.
13:33I sure did.
13:34I put that sleeping mug up to the face ID.
13:372-3-4-LIFE!
13:38Guys!
13:39Oh!
13:40Let's bring up our final nominee, Frank Shaw.
13:44Yeah!
13:45I was supposed to follow that.
13:46That was the greatest of following myself.
13:48Woo-hoo!
13:51Woo!
14:12This is like watching an old man get confused at the post office.
14:16We're screwed.
14:17Seriously, he just gave me the award.
14:19He's got nothing.
14:20He's got nothing.
14:24Oh, Frank.
14:25This is not the time.
14:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
14:28Fuck, I was joking when I see Tangle.
14:30Oh, shit.
14:31Oh, God, I can't watch.
14:31Is he getting naked?
14:33Oh, there it is.
14:39This guy's jacked!
14:41This guy's jacked!
14:41Woo-hoo!
14:46Woo!
14:48I mean...
14:56And the Animal Control Officer of the Year is...
15:04Frank Shaw!
15:05Yeah!
15:13Once again, the hedonistic spirit of Bellingham has spoken.
15:18Officer Shaw.
15:23Thank you, Pacific Northwest!
15:28Give us up a few more bounces.
15:40Give us up a few more bounces.
15:42Hi.
15:43Hi.
15:44So, I didn't hear my name in your exceedance speech, which is crazy, because I'm basically
15:48why you won.
15:49My dedication to pro team is why I won, but thank you.
15:52I think I saw the Portland team walking each other on leashes.
15:56Tracks with people from Oregon.
15:57This thing gets messier every year.
16:00Yeah.
16:01Things happen here that maybe wouldn't happen at home.
16:07Did you find a place to crash tonight?
16:09Uh, Table 12 gave me some mollies, so I think I'm just gonna dance until I pick up time tomorrow.
16:23Hey.
16:24You got my text.
16:26Yeah.
16:26I was worried you weren't gonna come.
16:29Hotel rooms are off limits, but tiny little photo booths are okay.
16:34I'm sorry. That was... I didn't mean it. That sounded bad.
16:37No, no, no. I've... I've been thinking a lot about what you said, and...
16:42I'm really sorry.
16:44Because the truth is, you are just, in every way, completely, definitely worth the risk.
16:52So, I'm gonna call my boss first thing on Monday.
16:55Wait, really?
16:57Yeah, because I...
16:59Well, I love you, and...
17:02I just wanna be with you.
17:05I love you, too.
17:07You sure you wanna do this?
17:08Yeah.
17:15Okay, okay, let's just stagger our entrances to be safe.
17:18Because we're so close, so let's not mess up now.
17:20Homestretch.
17:21Okay.
17:21Monday.
17:22Okay.
17:27I'll be good for my passport photo.
17:30Pardon me, folks.
17:31Good to see you.
17:32Good to see you, Jim.
17:35Look at that!
17:43This is bad.
17:45This is really bad.
17:47I heard they're serving sherbet in a few minutes.
17:53Something bad happened.
17:57Oh, my God.
17:59How fast can we turn that into a poster?
18:02Business center's open, 24-7.
18:05Time, time, time, time.
18:07Kids are finally asleep.
18:08Who's ready to party?
18:11What?
18:13Oh, my God.
18:14Oh, God, it's weight.
18:15I'm getting fired.
18:16Oh, my God, this is it.
18:17I have to do something.
18:20Don't worry.
18:20I'm gonna save this.
18:21Oh, God, oh, my God.
18:24You are...
18:25Liars!
18:26Come on!
18:27This way!
18:27This way!
18:28This way!
18:28The exit!
18:28This way!
18:29I thought I knew you were this first.
18:31It's okay.
18:32It's fine.
18:37All right, safety.
18:47Feels right.
18:48Mm-hmm.
18:48Hey.
18:49Congrats again, Frank.
18:51And I don't say it enough, but you're my hero, man.
18:54You say it all the time.
18:55All right.
18:56Now, ditch that wobbly hall table and reclaim your desk.
18:59Really?
19:01In fact, all shall return to their proper desks now that I've vanquished the pale, muscularly
19:07acts of feet beast.
19:08Normalcy is returned.
19:10Woo!
19:11Thank God.
19:12The napping was no good under this desk.
19:16Hey, um, can I have everyone's attention?
19:19I have a little announcement.
19:21Um, due to my relations with Shred, um, yeah, I've been suspended, um, pending an investigation.
19:29What?
19:30Wait.
19:30I consented.
19:31It's okay.
19:32I consented to the whole thing.
19:33Yeah, um, this means there will be an interim supervisor filling my position until, um, yeah,
19:39further notice.
19:40Who's taking over?
19:41Uh, yeah, it's, um, thanks.
19:55I guess I did die in that dachshund parade.
19:57I'm in hell.
19:59And I'm still your god.
20:00Will you be the devil?
20:01Will I be your boss?
20:05The boss!
20:10Meeting meetings won't be the same without you.
20:12He's already threatening to ban meeting snacks.
20:14Come on.
20:14It's not goodbye, guys.
20:16It's see you later.
20:17Pending a thorough investigation and ethics board review and reinstatement confirmation from the mayor's office.
20:22I just hope they don't subpoena our texts.
20:24I sent you that Jessica Rabbit gift on your birthday.
20:26I-
20:27You're gonna be fine.
20:28And in the meantime, we'll make Templeton's life as hellish as possible.
20:32I've already started.
20:34Daisy, grab me a tire jack!
20:37Flat!
20:37Again!
20:38Wait, is this what it's like to not be the boss?
20:40I kinda like it.
20:41Can I throw something?
20:42Can I?
20:43I'd be disappointed if you didn't.
20:46Okay.
20:52I've never respected you more.
20:53Bloody.
20:55Ah!
20:55Ah!
20:56Ah!
20:57Ah!
20:58Ah!
20:59Ah!
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