- 3 minutes ago
1990 SITCOM "Tom Ballard is put into the Bayview Retirement Village by his weak-willed son Geoffrey and his domineering, drunk daughter-in-law Marion. Many of the residents are very passive, but retired journalist Diana Trent's mission in life is to annoy "the idiot Bains"--the home's manager, Harvey Nigel Bains. " IMDB Starring Stephanie Cole, Graham Crowden, Daniel Hill, Janine Duvitski, Andrew Tourell, Sandra Payne
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TVTranscript
00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:56And the runners are all lined up.
00:59They are under starter's orders for this year's derby.
01:02Diana, you really are unspeakable.
01:04Well, that's my job.
01:06Diana Trent, unspeakable swine by appointment.
01:09You shouldn't mock the afflicted.
01:11Of course you should. They can't fight back.
01:12You're onto a winning ticket mocking the afflicted.
01:15Come on, Nelly.
01:17Cut him off at the corner.
01:21You can't tempt fate like that, you know.
01:23It'll get you in the end.
01:24Oh, not a chance.
01:25The day I lay hand to walking frame will be the day I pull the plug on myself.
01:29My son, Geoffrey, said the same thing about turning 30.
01:33Pity he didn't listen to himself.
01:34Please don't wish my family dead, Diana.
01:37Well, they wish you dead.
01:39That's my family.
01:40Families aren't allowed to wish each other dead.
01:41It's the norm.
01:42But if outsiders do it, it's just plain rude.
01:45Oh, come on.
01:47I've got something to show you.
01:52Yes, but what is it?
01:54Just wheat.
01:56Is it something yummy?
01:58Oh, it is.
02:00Can I eat it?
02:01Not until after my niece's wedding.
02:04It's a cake.
02:05Eh, marvellous.
02:07A wedding cake.
02:07No, it's not a cake.
02:10It's a hat.
02:18Well?
02:19A hat?
02:21You're sure about that?
02:23What's wrong with it?
02:24Oh, nothing.
02:25Nothing.
02:26You don't look like a peppermint cream at all.
02:29It is for a wedding.
02:31People wear hats like this at weddings.
02:33In this country?
02:35My niece, Sarah, is the only family I have got,
02:38and I am trying to do the right thing.
02:40Are you also going to wear bells on your shoes?
02:43Oh, what do you know about fashion, you dull bumpkin?
02:47Diana, this is supposed to be Sarah's and Sam's special day.
02:51The focus should be on them.
02:53But it won't be if you turn up looking like the Sydney Opera House.
03:00Oh, never get it together as a maiden art.
03:04Oh, well, Sarah and her crook would have understood.
03:07Do you think Sam is a crook?
03:08Bent as a nine-quid note.
03:10Oh, well, at least you outwitted him.
03:12Got your offensive daughter-in-law a business to channel her near-rooses through.
03:16Yes, the beauty parlour franchise was just what Marion needed to make her a human being.
03:21Ah.
03:21And I get free facials every week.
03:26You what?
03:27Just because the clock's winding down doesn't mean you don't have to polish the case.
03:32Oh, dear God.
03:35It must be off.
03:37I'm having an avocado face back this week.
03:41I feel pity, oh, so pity.
03:43I feel pity and witty and gay.
03:46God, stop mincing around, Tom.
03:48You're far too old to start turning any of life's great corners.
04:04Sarah wants me to get her away.
04:07Well, that's good, Dad.
04:08I'm very touched.
04:09What's that again?
04:10She's sniping at me again, Geoffrey.
04:12No, Dad.
04:13I mean, I got at this place.
04:15If I hadn't out with Sarah's fiancée, she'd still be sitting around the house popping pills and slugging gin.
04:20She still does that, Dad.
04:22She's having a few problems here.
04:24What?
04:26She hasn't a clue what she's doing.
04:28Oh.
04:29And she isn't making any money, Astrid.
04:31Oh, dear, oh, dear.
04:33Marion.
04:34What?
04:35How's it going?
04:37Oh, fine.
04:37Fine.
04:38I'm going broke.
04:40The place is overrun by dirty old men expecting freebies.
04:43Everything's wonderful.
04:45Oh.
04:52Why isn't she making any money?
04:54Sarah's fiancée, Sam.
04:56You might have got us the franchise for nothing, but the small print gives him a percentage of the gross.
05:01He slices it off the top before we've even deducted expenses.
05:05Oh, dear.
05:06It's Diana.
05:07She's had a fall.
05:08How is she?
05:09Swearing the place down.
05:11Thank God she's all right.
05:14I'd better skip the mud pack this week.
05:29What happened?
05:31She slipped and fell on her hip.
05:34She was trying to throw a brick at the gardener.
05:37How did you find her?
05:39Well, she was very, er, vocal.
05:42The people in the next village complained.
05:47So what's the damage?
05:49Severe fracture of the hip.
05:51They're going to operate soon.
05:53Have they knocked her out already?
05:55No.
05:55She's just very tired.
05:57Had her a bit of a swear at the surgeon.
06:03Maybe we'd better be off.
06:05You carry on, Jane.
06:06I'll just sit here for a moment.
06:08Right.
06:11Bye.
06:13Bye-bye, Diana.
06:17You say, I say bye-bye.
06:19Bye-bye.
06:46Oh, Diana.
06:49You poor old duck.
06:51Never mind.
06:52We're all here.
06:53We're all behind you.
06:54Oh, shut up, you clawing old woman.
06:58Botto.
06:59Good sleep?
07:00I've been awake all along.
07:02I just didn't want to have to listen to Jane going on about brittle bones
07:06and taking it easy at my time of life.
07:10She might have a point, you know.
07:12Oh, don't you start.
07:13I'm going to be out of here tomorrow.
07:15I'm taking up polo.
07:17Good idea.
07:19Maybe we should form a trapeze act together.
07:24It's a bugger, isn't it?
07:26It certainly is.
07:27It hurts like hell, too.
07:29Shall I get a nurse?
07:30No, no, no.
07:31It's okay.
07:32I want to go to this wedding, Tom.
07:35Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
07:36You usually hate weddings, all those cheerful and happy people.
07:40It would only depress you.
07:41It's a matter of principle.
07:43I said I'd be there.
07:44I don't want to be thought in my old age.
07:47It's nothing to do with age.
07:49You fell over, had an accident.
07:51It could happen to anyone.
07:53Buses don't just run over old folk, you know.
07:56How are you, then?
07:59It's my surgeon, Taft the Knight.
08:03David Davis, how do you do?
08:05Tom Ballard.
08:05You're the husband.
08:07I'm not married.
08:08I've told you that once.
08:10They're all deaf in your valley.
08:12Bundle of laughs, isn't you?
08:14Yes, she puts the tank in cantankerous.
08:17Would you mind?
08:19I am here, you know.
08:20You're my surgeon.
08:21You talk to me, not this buffoon.
08:24Now, what do these say?
08:26Oh, my God, is that me?
08:28Get your nose out!
08:29I've got no flesh on.
08:32You've given yourself quite a whack, my dear.
08:34When I go in, the chances are I might give you a new hip.
08:38Your ball and socket job.
08:40There's nothing wrong with my own hip.
08:42Bit brittle, you know.
08:43It's the steroid treatments.
08:45You'll probably need a new one in a couple of years anyway.
08:48Tom, will you tell this Celtic dimwit
08:52that I do not want a new hip?
08:54Hip replacements are for the old and the infirm.
08:58She says she thanks you very much and would love a new hip.
09:03Will you vent her spleen while you're at it?
09:07My pleasure.
09:10Okay, nurse.
09:12Body snatcher.
09:18Oh, look at what you're doing.
09:20Those things are sharp.
09:21Oh, take it easy, old thing.
09:23There's nothing to be afraid of.
09:25I am going to that wedding.
09:29Here you are, Diana.
09:30Our usual six o'clock gin.
09:33What?
09:33Fill it up, you old fool.
09:35You feel like getting legless and beating up a lager light?
09:37Sir.
09:40Okay.
09:48Guess who dropped by this afternoon?
09:51Ernest Hemingway.
09:52Ernest Hemingway.
09:52He wanted us to go to Pamplona to have a bit of a run with the Bulls.
09:55But I told him it might be a bit tricky for you at the moment.
09:58Oh, that's not very nice, Diana.
10:03Ernest Hemingway is a great writer.
10:05He's not a macho poof at all.
10:08Tom.
10:10What's the matter with your voice, Diana?
10:13I'm over here, Tom.
10:15You sound like that idiot Baines.
10:18I am the idiot Baines.
10:21Oh, look.
10:22It's the idiot Baines.
10:23I'm not the idiot Baines.
10:25You just said you were the idiot Baines.
10:27I meant it's me.
10:28You're talking to me, Harvey Baines.
10:30I am not an idiot.
10:31You said he's not an idiot.
10:33She says, do you have that in writing?
10:36Now, listen, Diana.
10:37I'm getting a little tired
10:39of this constant undermining of my authority here.
10:42And furthermore...
10:45And furthermore, you're not even there.
10:48Oh, yes, she is.
10:50Even though she's under the surgeon's knife at the moment,
10:52she astrally travelled here to have a cup of gin.
10:55Isn't that so, my dear?
10:57She says, yes, it is, you smarmy little piggy.
10:59She says, yes, it is.
11:05Diana is not there, Tom.
11:09It's no use, Diana.
11:10He sees through you.
11:13I could have been in double glazing.
11:15I could have been...
11:16Did you want something,
11:18or did you just drop by
11:19to spend a few minutes looking daft?
11:24I was assessing the ongoing situation
11:26vis-Ã -vis Diana's new state.
11:28What?
11:29I was trying to work out
11:30what Diana was going to do
11:31now that she's going to be a cripple.
11:34What?
11:35Well, you know what it's like
11:36when these old ducks start cracking up.
11:38She won't be able to stay in this unit.
11:40Why not?
11:41It's not wheelchair accessible.
11:43We might have to move her into the garage
11:45until she can find somewhere else to be.
11:48You're at it again,
11:50trying to get rid of us.
11:51Tom, Diana has broken her hip.
11:54She is falling apart.
11:55This isn't cripple city here, you know.
11:58If you can't walk upright unaided,
12:00you can't stop here.
12:01It's the same with toiletability.
12:03If you can't pee solo,
12:04I'm afraid it's goodbye.
12:06It's subsection four,
12:07paradigm of the contract.
12:09You fool.
12:10I'm sorry?
12:11You appallingly ignorant fool.
12:13She's only having a hip replacement.
12:15And that's as common as an appendix job these days.
12:19You end up better off
12:21than when you went in,
12:21you great plot.
12:23Really?
12:24Yes, really.
12:25And you hip will give Diana a new lease of life.
12:28And then she won't just be slinging words at you.
12:31She'll be running after you,
12:32hitting you about your silly head.
12:36Oh, that is good news.
12:41What wonderful news.
12:43Well, my prayers have been answered.
12:45I must send her some flowers.
12:47Damn.
12:48Damn.
12:50Damn.
12:51Damn.
12:51Jane!
12:54Cheers, old thing.
12:58So,
13:00how did it go?
13:01Fine.
13:02Brand new hip.
13:04Some of my best work there.
13:05The best that money can buy.
13:07And it won't crack and wear out.
13:10My first false bit
13:13with the teeth next.
13:15And the heart and lungs.
13:17Kidneys.
13:19God,
13:19stick around long enough,
13:21you get to be somebody else.
13:24The physio people
13:25will have you up tomorrow,
13:26walking in a few days.
13:28Walking?
13:29On what?
13:30Oh, a frame to begin with.
13:32Then two sticks,
13:33then one,
13:34then none.
13:36And after that,
13:36you can go back to the corps de ballet.
13:38Frame?
13:39Frame?
13:39A walking frame?
13:41What do you think old women use?
13:44For a few days?
13:45Never.
13:46Sorry?
13:46Never.
13:47In a million years.
13:48I don't understand.
13:50She suffers from
13:51Zimmerphobia.
13:54She believes that
13:56once you put your hand
13:57on a walking frame,
13:58it is but a willy-whisker away
13:59from the final plunge
14:01off your perch.
14:02Nonsense.
14:03All right.
14:04You've done your bit.
14:05You've earned your fat fee.
14:07Why don't you just go
14:08and jump into your range rover
14:10and bugger off?
14:11All right.
14:14Okay.
14:15You sort it out, Tom.
14:17I'll see you tomorrow.
14:21Well,
14:23you've turned me
14:24into an old person.
14:26Nonsense.
14:28If you're 35
14:29and break a hip,
14:31they don't bung in a new one
14:32because you'll probably
14:33need it in a couple of years.
14:35They'll fix the damn thing.
14:36Get on with your life.
14:39Bloody quacks.
14:41Useless for women.
14:43Before puberty,
14:44they tell you,
14:45oh, it'll all be cured
14:46by puberty.
14:47Then later,
14:48it'll be okay
14:49when you've had a baby.
14:51And then it's,
14:52oh, well,
14:52you're of a certain age.
14:53You'll be better
14:54after the change.
14:55And now it's,
14:56oh, well,
14:57of course,
14:57you've got to expect
14:57these things at your age.
14:59God.
15:00When is there a stage
15:01in a woman's life
15:02when she'll be cured
15:03of her ills
15:04without passing through
15:05some male-defined age barrier?
15:08I don't know.
15:09When she's dead.
15:13Unless she's a Buddhist,
15:14in which case,
15:15they'll say,
15:15oh, don't worry,
15:16you'll be better
15:16in the next life.
15:19Why do those nurses
15:20never come
15:21when you press
15:21the damn buttons?
15:22What do you want?
15:23I want a drink of water.
15:24I've got a mouth
15:25like the bottom
15:25of a Turkish wrestler's
15:27cold scuttle
15:28or whatever it's called.
15:29I can give you that,
15:31for goodness sake.
15:32No need to run
15:33the poor staff
15:33into the ground.
15:35Tom,
15:36am I being a bit
15:37of a pain in the bum?
15:38A bit?
15:39No.
15:39You're just being
15:40a huge pain in the bum.
15:43Well, I'm fed up.
15:45Oh.
15:46It's only a wound.
15:48Flesh and bone.
15:49They fix themselves.
15:50It's nothing nasty.
15:51Not one of your dark
15:53demons that lurk within
15:54and only announce
15:55their fatal presence
15:57when their deadly work
15:59is well nigh done.
16:00Oh, my God, Tom.
16:01Don't start going
16:02gothic on me.
16:03I'm just saying
16:04it'll be all right.
16:05It's no big deal.
16:07You're trying to sit it up
16:08as some sort of watershed,
16:09which it isn't.
16:10I wouldn't be seen
16:11dead on a walking train.
16:13Well, how else
16:13will you get to that wedding?
16:15Well, it's simple.
16:16They'll have to postpone it.
16:24Can't do that, Diana.
16:26Why not?
16:26It's your wedding.
16:27You can have it
16:28whenever you like.
16:29Well, it's for financial reasons.
16:31At the end of my tax year,
16:32you see,
16:32if we get married
16:33next Saturday,
16:34it means that we get
16:35optimum income splitting
16:36advantages for the next
16:37two years.
16:38Very romantic.
16:39It will cost us a fortune
16:41to put it off.
16:42Oh.
16:43Well,
16:44I suppose you need me
16:45there anyway.
16:47Tom's giving you away.
16:49Maybe you'll show me
16:50the photos one day.
16:52Never really liked
16:53that hat anyway.
16:55I did have a word
16:56with your surgeon.
16:57Oh.
16:57Did he understand it?
16:58He's Welsh, you know.
17:01He's also one of the
17:02most qualified hip men
17:03in the country.
17:03Oh.
17:04And he said you could
17:05easily attend the wedding
17:06if you really wanted to.
17:07What, in a wheelchair?
17:08On a walking frame?
17:09So that I can have
17:10your tedious,
17:11yuppie pals
17:12smiling at me
17:13and patting me on the head
17:15and patting me on the head
17:16and talking slowly
17:17and clearly
17:18in case the old biddy
17:19doesn't understand.
17:21That's what happens,
17:22you know.
17:23The moment you show
17:24any outward signs
17:25of physical infirmity,
17:27they treat you
17:27like some kind of basket case
17:29who won't make it
17:29beyond the vol-au-vent.
17:31No, thank you very much.
17:33Well, I must be off.
17:35Got to go and see
17:35Marion and Geoffrey.
17:36What for?
17:37Oh, just business.
17:38Keeping the old balls
17:39in the air.
17:41I'll see you later, darling.
17:49Do you mind?
17:50This is a hospital, you know.
17:54Ciao, Dai.
18:02Well, there's no point
18:03in you hanging around
18:04any longer.
18:05I'm not a freak show.
18:09Oh, get off, girl.
18:11You're such a rock, you know.
18:13Bollocks.
18:16No, you are.
18:18You might strive
18:19to be a flinty old crab,
18:21but underneath...
18:22Underneath,
18:22I am a vicious old cynic
18:24who hates any overt
18:25displays of emotionalism.
18:29What do you want?
18:33Do you think
18:34I should marry him?
18:36Is this a serious question?
18:38Or are you just asking
18:39for reassurance?
18:40I don't know.
18:42Will you be honest with me?
18:43Not for a second.
18:45I shall say
18:46what I think is best for you
18:47at the time
18:47at which I say it.
18:50What do you think of Sam?
18:52Oh, he is a saint
18:53amongst men.
18:55Charming, witty,
18:56intelligent,
18:57good-looking.
18:58He's a dreadful con man,
19:00totally without
19:00any scruples whatsoever.
19:02Well, there is
19:02that side to him.
19:04So why do I love him?
19:06God knows.
19:08Your father was just the same.
19:10Totally do, Lally.
19:12He and that mother of yours
19:13were completely unsuited.
19:15She was a wet little mouse
19:17and he couldn't stand still
19:19while there was a virgin
19:20left on the planet.
19:22And what happened?
19:24They got married,
19:25he stopped messing about
19:27and she blossomed
19:28into a rare beauty and brain
19:30and they were forced
19:31to suffer millions of years
19:33appalling happiness together.
19:36Oh, I don't know why you
19:39love your dreadful little chiseler.
19:42Love isn't a quantifiable
19:45or definable product.
19:47It's a...
19:48Well, it's like a sort of elephant
19:50sitting in the corner
19:51of your sitting room.
19:53You can't ignore it,
19:54but if you don't do
19:55something about it,
19:56you're going to find yourself
19:57knee-deep in elephant poo.
20:01Why did you never marry?
20:03Oh, my God.
20:04Why does everybody
20:05always ask me
20:05that boring question?
20:08I never married
20:09because I was a photographer.
20:12A photographer?
20:13Mm.
20:13I could always see
20:14the whole picture.
20:16I was objective.
20:18Oh, I knew what I wanted
20:20in a husband.
20:20He had to be this,
20:21he had to be that,
20:22da-da-da-da-da-da-da
20:23and, of course,
20:24I should love him.
20:26Just one problem.
20:27The good guys,
20:29the responsible ones,
20:30the kind ones.
20:32But they never threw
20:34the magic switch.
20:35They never lit up
20:36my promenade.
20:39No, the firework merchants
20:41were the pirates,
20:43the swashbuckling,
20:44no-good so-and-sos.
20:46The bastards.
20:48And you weren't going
20:49to marry one of those?
20:50Hoo-hoo, no.
20:53Sam's a no-good,
20:55a pirate.
20:56And I,
20:58I am here
21:00on my own.
21:02You mean?
21:03Maybe I should have
21:04nailed my colours
21:05to one of those
21:06tall masts,
21:08even if the ship
21:09was rotten and sinking.
21:11So?
21:12So marry
21:13your wicked charm boat.
21:15And the moment
21:16he steps out of line,
21:17you string him up
21:18by the offending part.
21:21And if there's
21:21another woman involved,
21:23drop a truck on her.
21:25You break him down,
21:26but all the time,
21:27you give him
21:28everything you've got.
21:29And if at the end of it
21:30you are not gloriously happy,
21:33well, you can always
21:34strangle the little sod.
21:38Thank you, Diana.
21:39Is that what you wanted
21:40to hear?
21:40Of course.
21:46Be happy,
21:47you miserable brat.
21:50I really am sorry.
21:51No, you're not.
21:52I am.
21:53Well, with the wedding
21:53and everything,
21:54I feel as though
21:54you're almost family.
21:56So you don't enjoy
21:57ripping yourself?
21:58It's not ripping you off,
21:59Geoffrey.
22:00It's in all the
22:00franchise contracts
22:01where you get a piece
22:02of a turnover
22:03off the top.
22:04Which means that
22:04we run at a loss.
22:05None of the other salons
22:06run at a loss.
22:07None of the other salons
22:08are run by
22:08totally incompetent.
22:09What are you talking
22:10about?
22:10You do.
22:11Oh, thank you, Geoffrey.
22:14Your efficiency problems
22:16are your problems,
22:17not mine.
22:19My problem
22:20is collecting
22:21what I'm owed.
22:22That means that
22:22I'm working
22:23to support
22:23my wife's losses.
22:24Ow!
22:25Ow!
22:26Ow!
22:28Ow!
22:29Have you thought
22:29of changing your wife?
22:31It's difficult.
22:32Shut up.
22:33Just suck
22:34your silly finger.
22:35She has a bit
22:35of a problem
22:36with interpersonal
22:36relationships.
22:37I should hope.
22:39So, if I could
22:40just have your check.
22:43I suppose so.
22:45Hang on a tick.
22:47Oh.
22:48Still daylight.
22:50Hello, Tom.
22:52I didn't see you there.
22:53Geoffrey,
22:54do you enjoy
22:55spending your spare time
22:56here?
22:57No, Tom.
22:57Marion,
22:58are you happy
22:59in your work?
23:00No!
23:03Sam,
23:04what happens
23:04to those
23:05who default
23:05on their payments?
23:06The franchise
23:07reverts to me
23:08and they lose
23:09what they paid
23:09for said franchise.
23:11Which is nothing
23:11because I threatened
23:12to tell Sarah
23:13what a crook you were
23:14unless you gave them
23:15a free franchise.
23:17Right,
23:18but, um...
23:18So it's all
23:19it.
23:19What is?
23:20Geoffrey,
23:21Marion,
23:22you're not enjoying
23:22yourselves,
23:23you're making
23:23any money.
23:24Pick up your bed
23:25and walk.
23:27What?
23:28You can quit.
23:29Just like that?
23:30Yes.
23:31Oh,
23:32I can't believe it.
23:33Quick,
23:34out the door
23:34before Mrs.
23:35Swifty here
23:35re-write the contract.
23:37Just a minute.
23:38Bye-bye.
23:39Thanks, Dad.
23:43Marion.
23:49Thank you, Tom.
23:50Off you go.
23:52What about my nails?
23:54Bite them.
23:57It's hot,
23:58old chap.
23:59Not at all.
24:03You're a pretty good mover, Tom.
24:06A real soft-top GTI.
24:08What about my nails?
24:10Have you paid yet?
24:12No.
24:13I'll be right with you.
24:14I'll see you at the wedding, Tom.
24:16Oh, and, uh,
24:17if you do everything
24:18you're going into business,
24:19stay away from me.
24:26Oh, isn't it wonderful, Harvey?
24:30What?
24:31Going to a wedding.
24:33You and me
24:33going to a wedding.
24:35Who knows?
24:36Might give you
24:37some ideas.
24:38No, Jane,
24:39you're absolutely right.
24:40Looking at this church
24:41does make me think
24:42of something.
24:43And what might that be,
24:44Harvey,
24:45if I might make so bold?
24:47If I could get
24:48baby registered
24:48as a religious charity,
24:50we might be in
24:51for some really big
24:51tax breaks.
24:58Oh, Geoffrey,
24:59life is so wonderful.
25:00That's because
25:00you're drunk, dear.
25:01Yes.
25:02It's so nice
25:03to be back
25:04to the old me,
25:05drunk and stupid.
25:07Here comes the groom,
25:08the rotten bastard.
25:09I think he's got sexy.
25:10Geoff,
25:11could you do me a favour?
25:12I've lost my best man.
25:14How did you do that?
25:15I had to fire him
25:16this morning.
25:17Wasn't he also
25:17your brother?
25:19Yes,
25:19but he's out now anyway,
25:20so I was wondering
25:20if you could do
25:21the honours for me.
25:22He'd love to.
25:23No, I wouldn't.
25:23I think you're a swine.
25:25500 quid?
25:26Have you got the rain?
25:42You've got another
25:43appointment, have you?
25:44Not for a couple of hours.
25:50I always cry
25:51at weddings.
25:53Not for a suit, James.
25:54Sorry, Olby.
25:56Such a shame,
25:57Diana is here.
25:59Very sad.
26:00Poor Diana.
26:02Let's hope things
26:03don't go terribly wrong
26:04and she gets gangrene
26:04and has to have her leg
26:05off
26:05and throws a hoof
26:06all the time.
26:32Do I look all right?
26:34Oh, you look fine, Tom.
26:36I always get nervous
26:37at weddings.
26:38When Jane Russell
26:39and I tied them off,
26:40I nearly think
26:40they're right away.
26:42It's all right.
26:43It's just a bit dark.
26:45Oh, what a pity
26:46Diana couldn't be here.
26:47Pride, I'm afraid.
26:49Pride,
26:49coupled with a manic desire
26:51to be miserable
26:52at all costs.
26:54You'd better go.
27:12What is it?
27:13We'd better hang on a second.
27:16Come on, you silly fools.
27:18Get out of my way.
27:20All right, you crocs,
27:21quick march.
27:31What is it?
27:33It's Diana Brando
27:34and the Wild Buck.
27:35Oh, that's marvelous.
27:38Tasteless.
27:39Oh, butter.
27:46What's the matter?
27:47You've never seen
27:48anyone with a zimmer before?
27:49Oh,
27:52you've never seen
27:52anyone with a zimmer before?
27:52You.
27:53Play the music.
27:56All right, Tom.
27:57Let's get this show
27:58on the road.
28:12Oh, my God.
28:14Oh, my God.
28:14Oh, my God.
28:18Oh, my God.
28:34Get on with me.
28:53Get on with me.
29:23Get on with me.
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