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00:26I've told you about two of the worst decisions I ever made.
00:30And the damage left behind, and the people who got hurt.
00:38There is one more story to tell, one more bad decision, and this one's all on me.
00:52No, it wasn't the decision to go to the party, because how could I have known?
00:59But it was the same night, that same awful night.
01:08Remember that story I was saving for later?
01:12Well, this is it, and it's all about you, Clay.
01:40And how the hell am I supposed to listen to this?
01:42I think the asshole answer is you put the headphones on, the cassette tape in, and you press play.
01:49That is the asshole answer, isn't it?
01:51Yeah, but it's true.
01:54I can't be here.
01:59I can't listen here.
02:04Go.
02:05Go.
02:05Go.
02:05Go.
02:13I need you to drive.
02:20Where do you want to go?
02:21Just anywhere, somewhere else.
02:29Clay, I know you're asking yourself why you're on these tapes.
02:33What could you possibly have done?
02:36What else could have happened on the night of Jessica's party?
02:41Well, good luck with your fresh start.
02:45Good luck to you, party animal.
02:49I'm digging this role reversal, by the way.
02:51Oh, yeah?
02:52You got this rebel of the cause thing going on.
02:57Well, that's me.
03:02Jeff's a good influence on you.
03:04You think?
03:05I mean, he got you to go to a party.
03:07Well, you've done that before.
03:10I guess I have.
03:12But not this time.
03:14Part of me was saying, ask me again.
03:17All right, well, um, happy home working.
03:21Yeah.
03:22Thanks.
03:23Now I have to excuse me, ma'am.
03:25This rebel is going to tear out into the night on a sweet ride.
03:38But part of me was saying, don't go.
03:42Not even for Clay.
03:44I should have listened to that part of me.
03:47See, I never told you, Clay, but I've always admired you.
03:52You are who you are and you don't care.
03:55And I always cared what other people thought of me.
03:58As much as I acted like I didn't.
04:05Is that a boy-girl thing or a Clay-Hannah thing?
04:17Well, don't you look nice. Off to the party.
04:21Ah, is that still okay?
04:23No, of course. It just started drizzling out.
04:25Are you sure you don't want me to give you a ride?
04:28Yeah, for a few things in life I am sure of, that is one of them.
04:31Can I get you your rain poncho?
04:33I'm gonna let you guess the answer to that one.
04:34It's getting colder out of me.
04:35I've got my hoodie.
04:36Bye, Mom.
04:37Be safe. Call me if you need a ride.
04:39And don't do any hard drugs. Or any drugs.
04:49I bet you also wish you'd never gone to Jessica's.
04:54Right, Clay?
05:09Is the party over?
05:11The party hasn't started.
05:13No one's gonna be here for like another hour.
05:15Oh.
05:16But I thought I heard it started at 7.
05:19Yeah.
05:20And A, it's 6.55.
05:22And B, 7 really means 9.
05:25Oh, right.
05:26I'll come back.
05:28No, no, no. Stay.
05:29You can help.
05:39Do you know how to tap a keg?
05:41Oh, I...
05:42Every guy's like, let's get a keg and when it's time to tap it...
05:44I told you it was the wrong kind of tap!
05:46I got this!
05:47Everybody settle!
05:48Uh, I don't really know how to...
05:50Relax.
05:50You can do snacks.
05:53Got it.
05:55Uh, is there any, like, special order that you want?
05:57Mixed, uh, all in separate bowls?
06:00Certain things mixed?
06:02Make a choice, Clay.
06:03Be bold.
06:12Dude!
06:13You came!
06:14What's up, Jeff?
06:15Yeah, I've actually, uh, been here for a while.
06:17You've come a really long way, Clay.
06:19I think I worked together.
06:20Made some real progress.
06:22Right.
06:23Thanks.
06:25I bet you wish you hadn't invited me.
06:32She coming?
06:34Uh, what?
06:35Who do you mean?
06:37Okay, man.
06:43Hey, Clay.
06:45Oh.
06:46Hey, Alex, what's up?
06:48It's a party, so I'm, uh, pretending to have fun.
06:51Mm-hmm.
06:53No, I'm actually just here as part of my ongoing plan.
06:55Gonna hang around Jessica enough that she gets annoyed,
06:58and then she falls back in love with me.
07:00I feel like there's a logic flaw in that plan.
07:02It's love.
07:03It's not logic.
07:04And up!
07:06And up!
07:06And up!
07:08And up!
07:08And up!
07:09Cool.
07:09And it came.
07:10Now we can annoy Jessica together.
07:26Uh, I have to leave.
07:39Hey, hey, hey.
07:40Slow down, man.
07:41Where are you going?
07:42No, I-I just, I, uh, I gotta get up really early.
07:44Hey, Hannah's here.
07:46Oh, she is.
07:47That's cool.
07:47Hope she has a nice time.
07:49You need to go in there and talk to her.
07:51No, she's talking to someone else.
07:53She's busy.
07:54Then that's your cue, man.
07:55That's your cue to cut in.
07:57Take a swing.
07:58A-a swing?
07:59You got a fat slider in your sweet spot.
08:02You gotta swing the bat to the strike zone, man,
08:04and knock it out.
08:05Oh, see, I'm-I'm aware those are baseball terms,
08:07and if I'm interpreting correctly,
08:09I think that given my batting average,
08:11what I would actually end up with is a strikeout
08:12and not a home run.
08:13That said, very good use of an extended metaphor.
08:15Oh, fuck me, Jensen.
08:17Just get the hell in there, man.
08:19Now, okay?
08:20Now, or I'm gonna kick your ass.
08:22You would never kick my ass.
08:23Don't tempt me.
08:24All right?
08:25Go talk to her, man.
08:27You're the reason she came.
08:29I don't know that.
08:31I think you do.
08:37Come on.
08:44I'm going in.
08:45I'm going in.
09:10I'm going in.
09:14Tonight was different, and I didn't know what to say to you.
09:20But when you finally came up to me,
09:23you knew just how to break the ice.
09:26Hey.
09:27Hey.
09:28You're there on the couch.
09:30So I am.
09:31I mean, you-you came after all.
09:34I was feeling rebellious.
09:36Ah.
09:36So you finished your homework.
09:38That would sort of be antithetical to the whole-
09:41Oh, right, right.
09:42Yeah.
09:45Uh, do you-you want a drink?
09:48I believe you promised me a drink, in fact.
09:51And a ride on your bike.
09:53I did, didn't I?
09:54Which is a pretty big deal.
09:56I don't let just anybody ride my bike.
09:58Well, I look forward to it.
10:00Yeah, me too.
10:08I actually didn't ride my bike here,
10:10so we can't do that.
10:12So, uh, but I'll-I'll go get the drinks.
10:15Yeah, I-I think I'm gonna come with you if it's cool.
10:18Cool?
10:19I was so nervous that night, but you made it seem so-
10:23Easy?
10:24Is she kidding me?
10:25Is she kidding me?
10:26I was shitting myself.
10:28Okay.
10:30But I mean, she-she's not telling the truth about the way things happened.
10:34She's telling her truth.
10:38Why do you always do that?
10:40You act like you know.
10:41Because I do.
10:42From the tapes.
10:43I know her truth.
10:47So why do you have to be here, knowing?
10:50Because I don't know what your truth is.
10:53And I don't know what's gonna happen when you find out hers.
11:09Hey, Mom.
11:10Hi, Clay.
11:11It's Mom.
11:12Yeah, I just said that.
11:14Uh, so you did.
11:15Yeah.
11:15Uh, so how was day one of your suspension?
11:18Did you manage to be productive?
11:19Yeah, no.
11:20Definitely.
11:21I did some research.
11:23Good.
11:24Good.
11:25Listen, you and your dad are on your own for dinner tonight.
11:27Something came up here.
11:30Something with Hannah's case?
11:33I'll tell you later if I can.
11:36Um...
11:36There's leftover chicken in the fridge and there's roast beef for sandwiches.
11:40Laney, Gary Bolin returning your call?
11:43Listen, I have to go.
11:45So be in touch with your dad, okay?
11:46Sure.
11:47Bye.
11:48Bye.
11:57Gary?
11:58Hi.
12:00Listen, the Bakers considered our offer to settle.
12:03And they've turned it down.
12:05They want to move forward with the trial.
12:08What, um...
12:09What happened?
12:10Was it...
12:10Was it the money?
12:12Not enough?
12:12Laney Jensen thinks it's this lawyer they got.
12:16He's hungry.
12:17He thinks they could win.
12:19Based off of...
12:20I mean, what do they have?
12:21Hell if I know.
12:22Have we found a smoking gun?
12:24The school magazine?
12:26The graffiti?
12:27Yes.
12:28Laney's concerned that we painted over it.
12:31Says it could be construed as destroying evidence.
12:34Destroying evidence?
12:35Well, I'm not gonna let the school go down at the hands of whatever disturbed sophomore latched onto the term
12:40cum dumpster.
12:42Okay?
12:43And I'm not gonna let them pin this on our staff or on you and Jane and me.
12:48So...
12:49You think that this is where they're headed?
12:51Apparently they've expedited the subpoenas.
12:54For the kids?
12:55For all of us.
12:58Well, you knew this was coming.
13:00Yeah.
13:01I mean, I suppose...
13:02I hope that, uh...
13:05You know, it won't get this far.
13:09Those kids, they've been through a lot.
13:13Well, they're about to go through some more.
13:32So, are there any dinner plans happening or...
13:35Good idea.
13:36Give me a beer.
13:37Uh, if you're hungry, babe, I'll give you a 20.
13:39You can go get us a pizza.
13:40Or you could just have an actual delivery boy come and bring it.
13:42I cut my cell phone service off again, so...
13:47What the fuck?
13:48Get your fucking dirty ass feet off my notebook, man.
13:52What, you mean this notebook?
13:57Don't you ever fucking touch me?
13:59Get the fuck out of my house.
14:00It's not your house.
14:00And you think it's yours?
14:01You pay rent?
14:02Do you?
14:02Jesus, you're like two little boys.
14:04Put your dicks away.
14:06I want him out of here.
14:08Either he goes or I go.
14:12Look at you up here.
14:20Don't fuck with me, kid.
14:36Hey, it's me.
14:37Uh, listen, I can't stay at my house tonight.
14:44Just call me back, okay?
14:48Call me back.
15:02Who's on the phone?
15:07Sherry, cheerleading bullshit.
15:09Hmm.
15:10What are we gonna do next?
15:12Mm-hmm.
15:13You tell me.
15:14You're the woman with the taste for danger.
15:30How's the hot tub at your place?
15:33Hot.
15:35And the beer is cold.
15:38Let's go.
15:51So, let's start with the part of the party that I left out.
15:55So, the idea is you can have a super power, but it has a drawback.
16:00For example, there's the triple take.
16:02You can freeze time whenever you want for as long as you want.
16:04But once you unfreeze everyone else, you're frozen for three times as long.
16:08Yeah.
16:08Okay, and you read this in a book?
16:11No, I made it up.
16:13Before when you're in those, like, real-life situations where you wish you had a super power to get you
16:17out of.
16:18If you have a super power, what would you want to use it for?
16:23Well, technically I'm not really in a situation that I want to get out of.
16:28Well, what kind of situation are you in then?
16:32I'm in a party situation.
16:36And if you could use a super power right now, what would you want it to do?
16:46Uh, I would make everyone else disappear.
16:53And then what would we do?
17:00Um, well...
17:05We would, uh...
17:08Did he get you?
17:09Well, mostly dry.
17:12What do you want me to go...
17:13Say no more.
17:16Um...
17:46It's, uh, nice of Jeff to force you to come tonight.
17:50No, he didn't force me. He, uh, strongly recommended it.
17:54Didn't he also, like, strongly recommend that you come to the dance?
17:58No. I lost a bet.
18:00To Jeff?
18:03So the only time you and I actually ever get to hang out is because of Jeff?
18:08No. No, I mean...
18:12Maybe.
18:13Kind of.
18:14But it's strictly coincidental.
18:24If it's strictly coincidental, then why is he watching us?
18:28Uh...
18:29I mean, he does, he does take an interest in my social life.
18:33Uh-huh. So, you tutor him in academics and he tutors you in...
18:38Uh, girls.
18:42Uh, girl.
18:46Singular.
18:50Hannah!
18:52Clay!
18:53Hey, Troy.
18:55You two are gonna come over here and you're gonna play beer pong.
19:01Uh...
19:02Actually, I'm not really, I'm not big into sports with balls.
19:07All sports have balls.
19:09Uh, no. Actually, they don't.
19:12Oh. They totally don't.
19:14Troy, buddy!
19:15We're gonna leave these two kids alone for the rest of the night.
19:18And you're a beer ponger.
19:19Woo!
19:20Beer pong!
19:27Do you wanna...
19:29Uh...
19:30Yeah.
19:41It's, like, easier to talk at work.
19:44Yeah, except for all the people who wanna watch a movie.
19:46Or eat popcorn. It's very annoying.
19:49We should do that somewhere else.
19:50Don't you think?
19:51Yeah, I'm thinking of, uh, starting a petition at change.org
19:54and kind of gonna contact my congressperson.
19:58Yeah.
19:59You know, the thing is, I think I'm gonna have to quit working at the Crestmont.
20:05Why?
20:06My parents need me to work at the store.
20:08You know, which kind of sucks, because I really like working at the Crestmont.
20:13I do, too.
20:16What I mean is, I like working with you.
20:26Well, I mean, if you work at your parents' store, at least you don't have to smell like burned popcorn.
20:32Yeah.
20:32Yeah.
20:44Do you wanna talk in there?
20:47Stop.
20:48Stop, I gotta stop.
20:49You want me to stop the car?
20:50What?
20:50No.
20:51Yes.
20:51No.
20:52No.
20:52And I just, what does she say next?
20:54I mean, does she say what she did?
20:56Does she say why?
20:57She does.
21:01So, Justin, Zach, Alex, they all heard this.
21:06And Ryan and Tyler.
21:09Of course.
21:14Of course.
21:20Just like everyone else.
21:30you have more points and more rebounds than justin i don't know why you're not the captain
21:35well that's not how they choose captain mom besides i don't even want to be captain
21:40you're the best player that's right that's what matters
21:46justin's just
21:49he's just going through some stuff he'll be back
21:59so like you do you go outside to you know work things out
22:03the bouncer gets in between us and this kid pops him in the face
22:07he did not yeah yeah so i mean my job's basically done you know i let the bouncer do his
22:12work
22:12i go back inside my beer good job hey you know alex got into something the other day
22:19yeah i saw that it was nothing it's stupid didn't look like nothing
22:24i got a family of brawlers that's what i got here
22:27trying to keep you two on the right side of the law
22:32i'll get that
22:34hey mom's gonna be glad to see you
22:39um hey look i'm sorry to uh
22:43can i
22:46is it all right if i crash here tonight
22:49seriously yeah i know but uh jessica zach
22:53don't answer my texts my calls anything
22:56okay why don't you just stay at bryce's
22:59i think you know why
23:02look i can sleep in the garage
23:04no man that's that's weird you're not a hobo
23:07your parents don't even have to know i can climb up to your window
23:11alex who is it
23:17uh hey dad it's um it's justin is it okay if he spends the night we have some homework we
23:22have to do
23:23sure how you doing justin good sir okay how's the team this year uh good i think we have a
23:28shot this year
23:29excellent excellent you eat dinner
23:31uh no not yet well come on in we got leftovers we got steak we got all the fixings
23:40i've seen gary's
23:48i've seen gary's email about the baker lawsuit we might be deposed
23:53Yeah, the lawyers, uh, think it's likely.
23:57Likely? Wow.
24:00Are you concerned about something in particular?
24:07Listen, it might be nothing,
24:09but last year, at the end of the year,
24:13we had an anonymous note for me, for the class.
24:17It didn't mention suicide specifically,
24:20but it was someone who was despondent.
24:23Now I'm wondering if it was written by Hannah.
24:26Do you have a reason to believe that it was?
24:29Clay Jensen said it was.
24:31Clay Jensen? When did he say this?
24:34Just a few days ago.
24:35I mean, he didn't say why he thought that way, but, uh...
24:39Did you ask him?
24:40I intended to, but he's out for three days, of course.
24:42Yeah.
24:44We should see what we can find out, you know, when he gets back.
24:48Or if you hear anything else from the other kids...
24:50For the lawsuit.
24:51For the lawsuit, for the kids.
24:55And unless someone asks,
24:57it might be best, you know, not to be sharing this.
25:03Uh, uh, sure. You're right.
25:06Yeah.
25:07Let me know if you hear anything else.
25:09Of course.
25:15My wife.
25:16I'm late again.
25:23Hey, man, you could choke, so...
25:27Just, like, don't choke.
25:29The steak is the shit.
25:32Your dad cooks?
25:33Uh, my mom cooks.
25:34And my dad, he grills.
25:35I mean, it's so fucking good.
25:36Yeah.
25:38Where is your mom?
25:39Uh, she's at the hospital.
25:40She does four days on and four days off.
25:42They're 12-hour shifts.
25:48Jess, what took you so long?
25:50Seriously, Justin?
25:51Now you're all concerned about what I'm doing?
25:53I'm sorry about today.
25:55Is that Justin?
25:57Are you with Bryce?
26:00What the hell are you doing?
26:01We're hanging out at this place.
26:03I want to get his ass over here.
26:05Who else is there?
26:05Is anyone else there with you?
26:07Who are you?
26:08My dad?
26:09Come meet me at Alex's.
26:11I gotta go, Justin.
26:13Jess, do not hang up.
26:17Hey, what's going on?
26:21We need to go to Bryce's.
26:22Can you drive?
26:29I need to throw up.
26:30Okay.
26:31I don't have anything to throw up.
26:32You need some food.
26:34So I can throw it up?
26:35So you can settle the fuck down.
26:37My mother used to say,
26:39That means, first we eat,
26:41then we do everything else.
26:45And that's just big on breakfast.
26:51I've got a prosciutto mozzarella with red peppers.
26:55And a plain turkey with a tiny dab of mayo
26:57and an even tinier dab of mustard.
27:03No triple Americano for you?
27:07No, I'll just...
27:09Just get some water or something.
27:12Oh, my God.
27:13Sit.
27:14I'll get it.
27:16Wow.
27:18She doesn't do that for anybody.
27:22I'm ready to keep listening now, right?
27:24We don't have to waste any more time.
27:26Get your food.
27:27I can't.
27:28Don't act like a child.
27:29Eat your sandwich.
27:30Don't act like a child.
27:30I'm just not talking about my grandpa.
27:32You need to be in the right headspace.
27:34How can I be in the right headspace
27:35to find out why I caused a girl to kill herself?
27:45How?
27:46Rough night?
27:48No, he's just working through some shit.
27:50I can see that.
27:51He's got existential crisis written on his forehead.
27:54I do not.
27:56There's some truth you don't want to face.
28:00What?
28:00Why did you say that?
28:01I see the future.
28:03You know that.
28:04I told you you're fortunate in seventh grade.
28:05You predicted it wouldn't be five foot two forever.
28:08How tall are you now?
28:10See?
28:13La Bruja.
28:14That's right.
28:15I've got my cards here if you want me to do a reading.
28:18I'm good.
28:19Maybe there's even a message from beyond.
28:23What are you saying?
28:25Take a reading and you find out.
28:28All right.
28:30Seriously?
28:31Don't mock what you don't know.
28:33I am Catholic.
28:33I know all about this mystical bullshit.
28:37First, you shuffle.
28:41Is this so I know you're not cheating?
28:43There's no winning or losing.
28:45You shuffle to transfer some of your energy to the cards.
28:48Now cut the deck.
29:24Is this how, uh, what do the cards say?
29:27This one?
29:28Nine of wands, but it's reversed, which means you feel like the world is against you.
29:33Really?
29:33Seems right.
29:34Like accusing people of ratting you out.
29:37Like I didn't mean to accuse you.
29:38The hermit.
29:38Also reversed.
29:40You're isolated.
29:41Alone.
29:42Big deal.
29:43Everybody's alone.
29:44Very un-Clay Jensen thing to say.
29:48Ten of swords.
29:49You keep falling back into the pain of the past.
29:51You can't face your sadness, your fear.
29:55You can't move on.
29:56What the hell are you doing?
29:57Page of cups.
29:58You're talking about Hannah.
29:59The cards are showing someone who's struggling inside.
30:03Tortured.
30:05Emotionally.
30:06Why are you so pissed at me?
30:07I'm just reading your cards, Clay.
30:09I don't care how it is you're the one who's mad at me.
30:10You stop talking to me.
30:12Freshman year.
30:12Really?
30:13First day of school you didn't see me down the hallway and then turn the other way?
30:17Well, I didn't know what to say.
30:19How about, hey Sky, how's it going?
30:21You, you, you, just, you changed.
30:23Yeah, well so did you.
30:25You used to be cool.
30:26You used to be nice.
30:27Well, we can't all be nice girls like Sherry or Hannah.
30:32Why do you talk shit about Hannah?
30:33What did she ever do to you?
30:34Besides ignore me?
30:35You're just jealous of her.
30:37I, why would I be jealous of a dead girl?
30:39What she did was stupid.
30:41You don't know anything about it.
30:42I know she didn't go through anything different than any of us.
30:45We all get through it.
30:46Yeah?
30:49Then what's that?
30:54It's what you do instead of killing yourself.
30:58Suicide is for the weak.
31:06I mean, what a, what a bitch.
31:09Wow.
31:10Well, she is.
31:12I just, I never heard you use that word before.
31:14She doesn't know what's going on in Hannah's life.
31:15You don't know what's going on in hers.
31:18Would you?
31:20You know, shut up, Tony.
31:22I get so sick of your little sayings and things that you point out acting all wise.
31:26You're like this unhelpful Yoda.
31:29Is that a crack on my heart?
31:36Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
31:37Hold on a minute.
31:38Why?
31:39Headspace.
31:40Headspace.
31:42Unhelpful Yoda.
31:44Unhelpful Yoda.
31:45Just let me out.
31:46I'm not going to leave you alone.
31:47I will let you get some air.
31:49I know, please.
31:55Shhh.
31:56Hey.
31:58Hey, where have you been?
31:59I've been texting and calling you for hours.
32:02I have to ring off.
32:04What's going on?
32:05You were supposed to relieve this center.
32:07I had parent conferences today.
32:09She left the house a mess.
32:10The first time in two hours, this baby stopped crying.
32:13I'm afraid to put him down.
32:14Come on, I'll take him.
32:15If he gets upset again.
32:16Eva, come on, babe.
32:18Come on, man.
32:19Come on.
32:20All right.
32:22Okay, buddy.
32:25Is he teething?
32:27I don't know, but I've got Drew all the way down my back.
32:31I'm sorry.
32:33I'm sorry about tonight, you know?
32:36But the pressure is on me at school right now.
32:40You need to find a balance.
32:42Take some pressure off of yourself.
32:44Trey, I could lose my job.
32:46You're not going to lose your job.
32:49How do you know?
32:50Babe, you had no idea that girl was suffering.
32:54You can't blame yourself for what she did.
32:58What if I could?
32:59I know you can't.
33:24Now we'll let you out.
33:29It's fine in here.
33:32Okay.
33:34I'll be right here if you need me.
34:13What?
34:16She has a rock collection from when she was little.
34:19She used to water them and treat them as pets.
34:21How do you know?
34:23We were friends at the beginning of last year.
34:26It was fun while it lasted.
34:28I didn't know you guys were friends.
34:30She's so popular.
34:34Yes. Thank you, Clay.
34:36Well, no, I mean...
34:37No, it's... I know what you mean.
34:40Yeah, but she can actually be pretty cool and funny.
34:44I mean, she still has her rocks.
34:47Yes.
34:48Well, I guess an advantage of having pet rocks is they don't die.
34:52Yeah.
34:53They don't eat too much.
34:55And they don't crap on the floor.
35:00Oh, I'm killing our pets.
35:02Oops.
35:04What's that one's name?
35:06I think we should name him Stone.
35:09Is that his first name or his last name?
35:12Both.
35:13Both.
35:13His name is Stone Stone.
35:15Stone Stone.
35:19Oh, my God.
35:21Your name is Clay.
35:23Yes.
35:25It is.
35:26And I've heard all the jokes.
35:27Really?
35:27Like all the jokes in the universe ever?
35:29All of them.
35:30Oh, that's impressive.
35:32I like the name Clay.
35:35I like the name Hannah.
35:44I had a dream that you would mind.
35:50I've had that dream a thousand times.
35:55At that moment, everything was perfect.
35:59And for the first time in a long time, I could imagine a future where I was happy.
36:09How good life could be.
36:11How good life could be.
36:26And I know you felt it too.
36:35the last for you
36:42I.
36:42I.
36:43More than ok.
36:58I wanted you to do everything you were doing.
37:03So I don't know why my mind took me everywhere else.
37:08And I thought of every other guy.
37:10Justin finger you, but that you went down on him.
37:12No, sometimes it's better to wait.
37:18They said you had the best thing.
37:20I hear you too, like a guy between you and Justin finger you, but that you went down
37:23on him.
37:24And they all became you.
37:25I know sometimes it's better than we thought you were easy.
37:32Just stop it!
37:34Hey, I'm sorry.
37:35I'm sorry.
37:35No, just stop, okay?
37:37Did it hurt you?
37:38No, just don't!
37:41Wait, what?
37:43What happened?
37:45I thought it was okay.
37:50Hannah, I'm so sorry.
37:52Just leave me alone.
37:54Okay, just leave me alone, Clay.
37:57You should just go.
38:02Part of me was saying, please don't leave.
38:07Part of me never wanted to see you again.
38:10Are you alright?
38:11I don't want you here.
38:12Get out!
38:17Hannah.
38:18Get the fuck out!
38:23But you walked out the door.
38:26Like I told you to.
38:31Why'd you have to leave?
38:34It was the worst thing ever.
38:49And then it got worse.
38:57Clay?
39:00Helmet?
39:04Your name does not belong on this list.
39:08But you need to be here if I'm going to tell my story.
39:13If I'm going to explain why I did what I did.
39:20Because you aren't every other guy.
39:24You're different.
39:27You're good and kind and decent.
39:33And I didn't deserve to be with someone like you.
39:37I never would.
39:42I would have ruined you.
39:45It wasn't you.
39:47It was me.
39:50And everything that's happened to me.
40:02Goddammit!
40:08You knew.
40:10You knew all along.
40:11Knew what?
40:12What did I know?
40:12That all of this is my fault?
40:14How did I know that?
40:15I just left Hannah.
40:17I just left her there.
40:18She needed me and I walked away.
40:20You were doing what she told you to do.
40:21No, I ran.
40:23I was scared.
40:24I thought it was something I had done or something I didn't understand
40:26because I'm this fucking loser who doesn't know anything about girls
40:28or about life or about anything.
40:30So all of this is your fault?
40:31I left and I knew I shouldn't have left and then Bryce raped Jessica
40:36and Hannah saw and then Sherry knocked down the stop sign
40:39and then Jeff died and it all started with me!
40:43Clay.
40:45Clay, I think you gotta get back from that edge.
40:47Why?
40:49Why shouldn't I just jump?
40:51Just let go?
40:52So you could die?
40:53Reunite with Hannah forever?
40:55Fuck you, Tony.
40:56You think you could have changed anything.
40:58What does that make you, huh?
40:59God?
41:00I should have stayed with Hannah.
41:02She told you to go.
41:03I should have told her.
41:04I should have said...
41:05What?
41:05You think you could have said something that would have changed any of this?
41:08I could have said...
41:10I'm not going.
41:11She said get the hell out of here.
41:12No.
41:13No, I won't go.
41:14Get out.
41:15No.
41:16Get the fuck out!
41:17Not until you tell me what's wrong!
41:18Not until you tell me what's wrong.
41:20Leave me alone!
41:21Okay, just leave me alone, Clay.
41:25You should just go.
41:30I thought it was okay.
41:32I don't want you here.
41:33Get out!
41:39Hannah...
41:39Get the fuck out!
41:40Okay.
41:41I'll go.
41:44Tell me what's going on, okay?
41:46Tell me what's wrong.
41:49You don't want to be with me, Clay.
41:51But I do.
41:52I really do.
41:54You know what people will say?
41:55No.
41:56And I don't care.
41:57Because it's easy for you, right?
42:00Because you're not the class slut.
42:02Don't say that.
42:03Everybody says it!
42:05I don't say it.
42:05Yes, you did.
42:07When you saw that picture.
42:09I didn't believe it.
42:13I was angry for a minute because...
42:17Because I was jealous of Justin.
42:21And I was mad at you for wanting him and not me.
42:25And I was an asshole.
42:27And I'm sorry.
42:29And I could never make it right.
42:32I could never say all this to you, but...
42:35I love you.
42:42And I will never hurt you.
42:45Clay...
42:46I'm not going.
42:49Not now.
42:53Not ever.
43:01I love you, Hannah.
43:06Why didn't you say this to me when I was alive?
43:32It's been like you had somebody...
43:32I was like crying.
43:33Alex, were you ill sad?
43:46I couldn't, I couldn't tell her, I couldn't hold her, I killed Hannah Beaker, like you said.
44:03I said we all killed Hannah. How am I supposed to live with them? Anywhere you can.
44:34Again, and again, and fucking again.
44:38What? Yeah, that's my age. This is embarrassing at this moment.
44:45Oh really? You wanna rub it in now? You finally win?
44:48I'm fucking rich I am! I am so fucking rich.
44:53Justy, Alex, it's about fucking time, you guys. These cards are getting stale. Come on, sit down.
44:57Actually, Jess and I had this thing planned. No, we don't.
45:01We were gonna get late dinner. Let's go.
45:05When did you tell me about dinner? Was that before or after you walked out on me today?
45:11Ooh. Justin, sounds like you better make it up to her. By losing a few hands. Come on, sit.
45:21Alright, well, uh, the game is Texas Hold'em. Five dollar ante, five dollar minimum bet.
45:26Here we go. Don't worry, I got you staked. I mean, your girlfriend's been playing with my money all night
45:31anyway, so...
45:32Alex, sit down. No, I'm good. I hate poker.
45:37No, you have to play. Everybody's playing. Come on. Here.
45:45Whoa. Jess, what the fuck?
45:48Door deal. I don't wanna fucking play cards right now.
45:51I said door deal. Jess! Shit.
45:57Fuck it. Let's go.
46:02I said let's go. Come on.
46:04What the fuck, Justin?
46:06Shit. We're leaving here now. I don't want you hanging out here ever again.
46:09Don't you touch me like that! Don't you ever touch me like that!
46:12Buddy, calm down.
46:14Stay the fuck away from her.
46:15What is your problem, Justin?
46:17Guys, this does not need to happen. No, maybe it does.
46:19What are you doing here? What are you doing here with him?
46:22We're just having fun.
46:24Why the fuck are you here with Bryce?
46:26Why do you care? Tell me.
46:29Tell her, Justin.
46:30Alex, let's go.
46:32No, tell me why you care.
46:33Jess, let's go.
46:34Tell me why you fucking care!
46:36Because he fucking raped you!
46:44Justin, brother.
46:45I'm not your fucking brother.
46:47Stop!
46:47Hey, no!
46:47Get out of my way! I should fucking kill you!
46:49You son of a bitch!
46:50I should fucking kill you! Let me fucking go!
46:52Let me fucking go!
46:53Let me fucking go!
46:55Let me fucking go!
46:56Stop.
47:01I hate you!
47:14What the fuck did you just do?
47:33Iļæ½ too.
47:40What?
47:47That's pretty cool to hear.
47:48Come on.
47:49That's 40 seconds.
47:50You look good to see her.
47:50You look good to see her, and we have to grab her, but I was so good.
47:52I'm so hungry.
47:52You look good to see her.
47:54She's boring.
47:54You're kind of too.
47:54I need to buy her up now.
47:59You think it's like,
48:00I've been so hungry.
48:03You are the most beautiful woman in this family.
48:41I'm going to take a look at the place where I was at.
48:41Let's go to this table.
48:42I'm going to take a look.
48:44Let's go.
48:51I have a look.
49:05Hey, you're not going to do anything stupid tonight, are you?
49:09No.
49:11Promise me?
49:14I promise.
49:21I love you.
49:22I love you.
49:23Let's go.
49:57Hey.
50:00Hey.
50:08Listen, honey, you asked earlier about Hannah's case, but I couldn't talk.
50:13The Baker's lawyer got a judge to fast-track the case.
50:17The school offered a settlement, but the Baker's turned it down today.
50:21Things are going to be moving quickly from now on.
50:25It's a trial.
50:27Baker's lawyer will be issuing deposition subpoenas right away.
50:32Got a copy of his list tonight.
50:35A number of your classmates are on it.
50:42So are you.
50:58So I'll have to testify?
51:00It's really just an interview.
51:02And I'll prepare you.
51:05Coach me on what to say?
51:07No.
51:09Prepare you for what kind of questions they'll be asking.
51:13Which will mostly have to do with your relationship with Hannah Baker.
51:18And the more we know before the depot, the easier it will be.
51:25Mom.
51:27I promise I'll tell you everything.
51:33Not yet.
51:34Today I've talked to Sally, a stranger, but I'm sorry now.
51:46But every encounter, corner grows full.
51:52The potential of our relationship to her.
51:56And half of my brain was totally afraid.
52:02She'd hate me, never want to see me again.
52:06And half of my brain was equally afraid.
52:12She'd like me, want to be my friend.
52:22I'm learning to love.
52:32I'm learning to let myself be loved.
52:42How did I miss this lesson when I was young?
52:47How did I miss this lesson when I was young?
52:52How did I miss this lesson when I was young?
53:22Yesterday I was anxious and alone
53:26So I called a friend to make me feel okay
53:32For a moment I found myself angry at him for offering help
53:37And I should've just been grateful for what he gave
53:49I'm learning to love
53:58I'm learning to love myself
54:13I'm learning to love myself
54:21I'm learning to love myself
54:35I'm learning to love myself
54:35You
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