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00:00:05tonight we talked to david keckner we will ask him about a short tenure on saturday night live
00:00:11which i think should have been much longer why that happened how that happened i have no idea
00:00:16so we'll find that out and uh also of course we'll uh look at his uh post-snl career which
00:00:23has been very successful including both anchor band movies where he was champ kind remember that
00:00:32whammy whammy that's what they said yeah so before we start and i want to get this over with quick
00:00:39so
00:00:39you're right to david keckner uh-huh have you heard of trigger warnings you ever heard that yeah i've
00:00:44heard a little bit about it um it's in universities now i don't know where it started i think it's
00:00:49blogs initially but i think what it is why don't you explain to the folks what so a trigger warning
00:00:56is in my in my understanding i think trigger warnings um evolved into universities uh at the start of a
00:01:03course let's say for example there's a course on feminism and there's going to be topics that
00:01:09that might be source subjects for some such as a rape that might come up throughout the the term
00:01:14and uh if there's a student who may or may not have been raped or have had some negative
00:01:20experience revolved around it or a close friend then it's important for the uh for the professor
00:01:26to to just sort of let the class know that these are these are certain subjects that might arise
00:01:32throughout the uh throughout the term right a warning you're saying if a woman has been raped
00:01:37that that would be a sore subject for her there might be uh you might warn them about some racist
00:01:52subject that might come up if there's certain racial ethnicities and uh and uh in the class right
00:01:59or you might warn them about um about um the violence let's say you're talking about the war
00:02:08or something where that person's uh father lost a leg in the war anything like that yeah rape would be
00:02:15a yes the trigger warning the trigger warning allows the person to know beforehand that sensitive
00:02:24subject is to appear in the classroom of the university right and allow him to leave or her
00:02:31uh and uh get a fresh beverage in the next room so i thought we should put trigger warnings here
00:02:37on the
00:02:38podcast so sometimes it gets a little controversial more often and uh sensitive souls might have a
00:02:45slightly harder time digesting the material so trigger warning i may use old-timey slang from time to time
00:02:56and it may make you feel disoriented as if you were no longer in the cool hip-hop era warning
00:03:04see how
00:03:05this works uh trigger warning there may be repeated and partisan references to the bestest and cutest
00:03:11little kitty in the whole world princess kitty mcmahon so if you feel that that in some way
00:03:17disparages your kitty then then you shouldn't watch the podcast that's a trigger warning do you
00:03:23understand how this works definitely of course yes trigger warning there may be physical violence
00:03:29some of what you cannot handle and it's going to be graphic it's going to be bloody but i do
00:03:35want
00:03:35to assure you most of it is directed at adam egan and is richly deserved trigger warning i may mention
00:03:44some street names in toronto now i'm not sure why that should bother you so much but uh a lot
00:03:49of people
00:03:49have complained i've noticed yeah uh trigger warning i may not sufficiently buttress your self-esteem
00:03:57and i regret that but this isn't school i don't have to do that fair enough trigger warning i may
00:04:08use words
00:04:09like buttress which some way you will be offended by because you don't understand the word it doesn't
00:04:16mean the whole uh uh and the behind of your ass trigger warning some violence may take place
00:04:26that is not physical but mental violence for instance adam egan you are a disappointment
00:04:34a disappointment to your family a disappointment to yourself a disappointment to your god
00:04:49by the way i saw that film that uh you recommended me that you called a fantasy
00:04:55showa
00:05:01horrifying
00:05:04trigger warning i may express enthusiasm by the commercial product that will disturb some podcastees
00:05:13because this sentiment may extend into ecstasy perhaps even rapture
00:05:24especially when it is a product as good as future advisors future advisors when you don't know what to do
00:05:32with your money you really don't like showa shame shame thank you one more fantasy indeed
00:05:45back with david keckner momentarily
00:05:59who got somebody to sell somebody to sell what's that five dollar fine right five dollar fine is that what
00:06:04that cost you know uh it wasn't me you know uh david keckner our guest for tonight when i was
00:06:12at saturday night live i smoked a lot of cigarettes i enjoyed smoking cigarettes and there was a five hundred
00:06:17dollar fine for smoking cigarettes
00:06:18at the time i was at the time i was flush and i would carry five uh crisp hundred dollar
00:06:25bills in my pocket and smoke smoked where i where whenever the urge hit me to smoke cigarettes and uh
00:06:34you know security guards would come over you can't smoke you can't smoke i go here's five hundred dollars they
00:06:40go i can't take five hundred dollars from you i go they go i don't think i'm allowed i go
00:06:46okay good for me
00:06:51david keckner you know him from the office
00:06:54anchorman you don't have to clap it's ridiculous
00:06:59talladega nights thank you for smoking with aaron
00:07:04eckhart he's a handsome guy very very good and uh many many more that's what it says in the car
00:07:12because of course there's many many more because there's a few you you've done so so much okay we're
00:07:18going to start with saturday night live yes because i um have a i don't have really a theory on
00:07:25why you left
00:07:26saturday night live but i've always told everybody this i've said the guy that they let go on saturday night
00:07:34live that was completely you know unfathomable was david keckner because he was there one year
00:07:45how many characters did he have gary mcdonald the fops um gerald gerald t-bones oh gerald gerald
00:07:54t-bones yeah okay let's start again all right you sam well let's see this is one year yeah the
00:07:59fops
00:08:00uh uh gary mcdonald gary mcdonald my brother your brother uh t-bones t-bones gerald t-bones
00:08:08uh let's see i did uh pat mcannon pat mcannon did impression uh i did another character another
00:08:15character did i get it on fighting jim down fighting bill down he never made it never made it to
00:08:19the show
00:08:20oh i always assumed it was because uh jim downey was the head writer but i now i know
00:08:26yeah it's your mother never made it to the show we got it to the table there's a maiden name
00:08:30it was downey yes downey that's where that came from my name's that's me remember me
00:08:38he'd have a picture he was a kind of a punch drunk kind of addle pated boxer yeah
00:08:44what did you call him addle pated an addle pated boxer he talks like a guy
00:08:48from a joseph mitchell okay so there was a picture of him in the bar you see
00:08:54of the in his prime yeah yeah but then he worked at the bar he was a busboy because the
00:09:01the owner i
00:09:02think had made a lot of money on him that was the back story and felt like i'm gonna have
00:09:06bill
00:09:07work here yeah yeah but bill be a busboy just take people's plates that's right remember me
00:09:11i'll bet you made money on me forget about it my hands hurt his hands hurt a lot
00:09:22i met i met a boxer who was the heavyweight champion of the of canada and uh he was a
00:09:28guy that uh he
00:09:30was uh famous we loved him in canada he he fought uh ali and uh and norton and uh and
00:09:38uh fraser and
00:09:39never went down what's his name uh george shavala big wow big white guy you know and then never never
00:09:46went down but he said the the the first thing it goes the kidneys and then the brains because they
00:09:52get you in the clinch yeah and they punch your kidneys yeah god dang it's a tough game and you
00:09:58know
00:09:58when all this with all this football and stuff you know let's get better helmets and stuff you
00:10:02see movies from 50 years ago at the end of the movie they go boxing must be banned like that's
00:10:08the
00:10:08idea of the film the motion picture yeah but still it goes did you see jango and chain yeah i
00:10:16did
00:10:16okay you remember when uh uh leonardo dicaprio and the boys were sitting around
00:10:22watching the uh slaves fight to death yeah awful yeah awful but isn't that what boxing is no you
00:10:32and and your rich friends you go to vegas you say you say bring up those poor black people from
00:10:39the
00:10:39ghetto i don't in the ghetto i don't think that's the requirement and a mother cry i think i don't
00:10:45think that's the requirement before it's not a requirement you have to be african-american you have to be
00:10:49poor okay it just so happens i think maybe because that's a way out for kids yeah yeah but do
00:10:57you think
00:10:57it's cool that that rich people pay money to watch two poor people fight to the death well if they're
00:11:04good they won't be poor anymore mayweather was one of the top paid athletes last year yeah yeah and he
00:11:11lost it all on the jaguars i i thought we were going over my credits and you've lured me into
00:11:19a
00:11:19discussion you put me on the side of the argument i'm trying to say white person oppressing young
00:11:26black males into boxing i don't know how i got that let me say this too before we get to
00:11:32your
00:11:32credits and why you shouldn't have been fired from snl but when you talk about rich i look at the
00:11:37poster and uh for anchorman too and what do i see on the poster paul rudd who else do i
00:11:43see will
00:11:44ferrell who else do i see uh steve carell steve carell who else do i see david keckner
00:11:51three multi-millionaires do you think i'm really wealthy no i said three months oh three listen
00:11:58folks and david kicked and david keckner the funniest guy in the fucking movie come on now
00:12:04do you ever look around and go what the fuck there's no upside in that i have a good time
00:12:10there's
00:12:11no upside there is no upside there's no upside in comparing your career with anybody else no it's
00:12:15not a meritocracy is it sir and no one's taking anything away from you no because you're in charge
00:12:21of your own destiny that's the way i believe well if you're in charge of your own destiny then it's
00:12:27not destiny very good norm you're right but i well i don't know i think you you're a wordsmith
00:12:36no listen i think let's go back to saturn life all right because it was always a mystery to me
00:12:41why you were fired i had my own theory it's a rather shallow theory i love i'd love to hear
00:12:46your theory you're you were bald oh that would not make it a an issue it would be a horror
00:12:53the
00:12:53worst uh worst reason ever so you after i wasn't renewed my contract you were just like
00:12:59yeah it's the baldness got him it was like it was such a uh it was such a crazy thing
00:13:05that i
00:13:06grasped onto that you were bald you know what i mean the way that conspiracy theorists go by god
00:13:12one disturbed 24 year old could not have taken down camelot
00:13:21i think the same way with you why were you fine was oswald 24 he was a he was a
00:13:25overachiever he looked
00:13:27older than 24. he did um uh here's why i think i was let go uh it was the first
00:13:34year that snl had
00:13:35had competition at late night in that space there's the first year of mad tv roseanne roseanne
00:13:40and then uh stern had a show that night that that same times period it's the first time that ratings
00:13:47had kind of slid and the first time that west coast had a lot of leverage on on lorne yeah
00:13:53um so they
00:13:54just wanted changes and i was it but you were the guy i remember when we came in it was
00:13:59you wasn't
00:14:00even will but the talk was all about david is that right yes wow and i think in the first
00:14:07year
00:14:07you proved to be the i did well i did well i will say name me another guy that had
00:14:12that many
00:14:13characters in the first year of saturday live bar and eddie murphy well i'll bet you mike myers did
00:14:18first year prime myers first year nothing nothing
00:14:26why do i keep getting put you're not a bitter man you're not a bit of these arguments but you
00:14:31must have been at that time at that time you were a young man and it hurt and it hurt
00:14:35yeah here's
00:14:35what happened so i was also told that some of the west coast people weren't fans of like the fops
00:14:39and stuff like that and they expected the fops to be a bigger breakout hit and here we talked about
00:14:43this a little bit earlier i figured out what to do with the fops after i was off the show
00:14:47yeah
00:14:48because we started on with the fops on um we get up on weekend update my fan club yeah fan
00:14:55club so
00:14:56and originally the character was this guy i called fagin who uh played in the musical oliver and that
00:15:04was the character and his whole thing was always have you seen my oliver uh me in oliver i play
00:15:11fagin because i had seen i had seen um uh uh an ad in chicago tribune for a touring company
00:15:21of the
00:15:21music of the musical oliver and the guy playing fagin was standing in the back like this like
00:15:26as if to say i struck me as like he's going have you seen me though and so i made
00:15:31up his backstory was
00:15:32that he that's all he would do is talk about him he started as the artful dodger and he had
00:15:37played uh
00:15:38that role all his life and then when his father uh left the stage he passed i adopted the role
00:15:44of
00:15:44fagin have you seen it so and then mark mckinney said i have a character i think what might pair
00:15:51nicely with your fagin yeah and then we just made them fops without any real drive or idea of what
00:15:56they're going to do so they appeared on your show and they were fawning right yeah so there were
00:16:00courtesans but no one ever found the right idea because then we just got thrown into sketches yeah we
00:16:05got we did the uh the intro with or the uh cold open with with alec baldwin uh or the
00:16:11guest intro
00:16:12whatever it was and then we did that thing with spade that made no sense um and then sometimes we'd
00:16:18just be bare ass naked then we did one sketch that didn't do well where we owned some antique shop
00:16:23or
00:16:23something like that yeah uh but what i realized later what should have happened was they should the
00:16:28recorders and they should have been trying to always go up the ladder so after we met you we should
00:16:33have said you know would you introduce us to mr michael's and so we'd try you don't want to go
00:16:39right to right we'd go to the host or whomever and then try to get to lorne and then after
00:16:43we got to
00:16:44lorne we'd try to get to bob wright oh who was head of the network and after bob wright it
00:16:48should
00:16:48have been jack welch yeah right and then you know the coke brothers yeah i don't think they were uh
00:16:54in the popular uh idiom at the time if you had uh uh only uh given the show gerald t
00:17:01-bone tivins yeah
00:17:02to me that'd be good enough to put you on the show for a decade yes should be now i
00:17:07told you earlier
00:17:07remember do you remember this i keep bothering that's good i like that do you as this stands out
00:17:13for me but you know you have probably so many great nights and i have so few but i went
00:17:19out with
00:17:19you to a bar one time and i just uh i just wanted you to be gerald for the entire
00:17:26night and by golly
00:17:28we had fun did i do it oh yeah you did it and the funniest thing of course was when
00:17:32you would go to
00:17:33girls and talk to them ignoring their boyfriends how would that go hey how you doing sweetheart uh could
00:17:42you want to buy me a drink or should i buy you one well you light up the room well
00:17:46i'm with my
00:17:47boyfriend you be the boyfriend yeah we're all with somebody hey won't you fuck off for a minute
00:17:52uh did i do that all night well i can't even remember that and hysterical and not a drop of
00:17:58it didn't cause any problem not a drop of liquor in you well that was a rare night then yeah
00:18:03hey you're
00:18:04a you're a you're a mick i'm a mick yeah yeah like you said my mother was a downy and
00:18:09so i'm like you
00:18:10clearly a generation early you'd be in uh you'd be in new york uh pounding a chinaman in the in
00:18:16the
00:18:16face uh a cop you'd be a if you were there to protect him sir i thought you meant i
00:18:22was a boxer
00:18:24um your father yes had something to do with turkeys like what i was told a little birdie told me
00:18:31he was a manufacturer of turkey coops now can you explain to the folks at home yeah what a turkey
00:18:38coop is it's a it basically it's a it's a hundred 146 compartments uh on a 40-foot trailer that
00:18:49you
00:18:49load uh turkeys into to take them from the grow out barns to basically the saw the processing plant
00:18:55which is the slaughterhouse so my dad we didn't deal with birds we just built the cages that transported
00:19:01the turkeys from farm to process isn't that interesting when you hear a job you've never heard of
00:19:08and yet it's the job that that binds your that that makes uh uh bread and and wine for a
00:19:17family of
00:19:18what seven uh eight six kids six kids yeah some of the parents uh i started working for my dad
00:19:24when i
00:19:24was seven really yeah he'd have us out there and he probably started work for his dad when he was
00:19:28four
00:19:29and they had a milk farm yeah they had milk cows yeah so they they were workers catchers are good
00:19:34workers
00:19:34i'll tell you that so yeah my brother still has it if you see turkey coops going down the road
00:19:39if you
00:19:39see birds uh going down the road most likely came from tipton missouri those those crates that's where
00:19:44you're from missouri yeah mark twain country two fathoms here say again now is that a mark twain quote
00:19:53that's what mark twain mark two mark twain oh now that's where the twain that's where the word mark
00:20:00twain came from got it on the river boat two fathoms here yes sir you know his real name ellen
00:20:07claygorn or something like that he had it he had sam clemens samuel clemens do you like you ever read
00:20:15any of his work mark twain yeah yeah it's in the united states it's required reading in grade school
00:20:21well sir my son went to a school here in uh los angeles california and um i don't like when
00:20:31they
00:20:31teach uh great writers uh uh minor work you know to teach him the best work yeah so i went
00:20:38to the
00:20:38teacher i said why are you teaching my son uh tom sawyer when uh uh life on the mississippi adventures
00:20:48of
00:20:48buckleberry finn drawing dust on the shelf behind you oh oh it's because it's racist it's racist it's
00:20:58the it's the least racist book ever it's right it's it's anti-racist exactly goodness gracious the
00:21:04ignorance of people well what happened to the rest of the story that was it she said we can't
00:21:10do that and that's it she said the next thing we're going to do is tor tony we're going to
00:21:16study tony
00:21:16morrison and she's rad wow this is a private school that i'm paying a lot of money yeah i get
00:21:22you um
00:21:23you have five children i do and how to how just supporting them how do you how does that happen
00:21:30no i have one that's i work in show business and you make i'm i'm i'm i i have consistent
00:21:36work so
00:21:37that's how yeah you know i don't have a consistent retirement but you have payments yet but you never
00:21:42stop work but that might be a blessing i won't stop you know you're going to retire no and as
00:21:49nixon said drink too little think too much is that a nixon quote all right yeah well he said the
00:21:56unhappiest people he knew oh you know that makes sense he said people think it's it's wonderful to
00:22:01get a car but uh and if you had two cars wouldn't it be wonderful if you had a golf
00:22:06membership well that
00:22:08would wouldn't that be the greatest thing ever but for those of us that know the unhappiest people
00:22:14i know are the ones that drink too little i mean drink too much think too little play uh too
00:22:23much bridge
00:22:24anyways we're straying what's that from is that from a david frost interview yes it's from a david
00:22:29frost interview that's a pretty good nixon what is your favorite project you've ever worked on this
00:22:36i want to talk about dell close favorite project ever worked on there's there's tons there's tons of
00:22:42them yeah recently on this is not just so you don't understand the word favorite wow
00:22:48is this called norm's hot box today you're right no but it's fine you're right i feel like the guy
00:22:55that
00:22:55threw cool and luke into the into the box yeah uh i'm just trying to do my job come on
00:23:02what was the
00:23:03the last thing you you that just came out cheap thrills yeah i want to hear about it i wanted
00:23:07to
00:23:07hear right because i brought it up in the makeup room yeah but i brought it up in the hallway
00:23:13did
00:23:13he who brought it up first you're the host no i thought i brought it up the hostess always you
00:23:18did
00:23:18okay let's hear about cheap thrills cheap thrills it is a sinister thriller with dark comedic undertones
00:23:25yeah that's how i usually dark comedy is awful you know the thing is i don't describe it as a
00:23:30dark
00:23:30comedy because you don't want to go in this movie thinking it's a comedy it's a thriller and there's
00:23:35some stuff that's funny when we were making it i didn't think there was going to be more than one
00:23:39or two laughs yeah yeah and i've watched it with audiences and they're laughing the whole way through
00:23:44i think because it's so intense yeah they need to release yeah and remind themselves that they're not
00:23:49in the picture they wouldn't do these things uh myself uh and sarah paxton play a wealthy couple
00:23:54and we lure these two guys who are down on their luck this is getting back to your boxing metaphor
00:23:58um who are down on their luck and we have them play these games for money and the the games
00:24:04get
00:24:04more and more nefarious as the evening goes along yes uh so it's really intense
00:24:11sounds like an agatha christie kind of no it's not a whodunit
00:24:17if that's where you're getting to but it was i we i love to do the picture we shot in
00:24:2114 days
00:24:22in 2012 and when you say picture you're talking about a motion picture a film yeah a motion picture
00:24:27uh a movie picture and we shot in 14 days it felt like doing a play everyone was really good
00:24:33in it
00:24:33pat healy sarah paxton ethan embry and it felt like there was like you didn't even have to act because
00:24:38they were giving you so much it's one of those rare moments i told them i said this is something
00:24:43special is going on here i said it after the second day because it really felt really unique it's on
00:24:47dvd
00:24:48it's called cheap thrills and i uh read i go on mrqe which is movie review uh quest engine or
00:24:56something
00:24:56like a thing but it tells every review of a movie if you ever wanted it's very interesting uh-huh
00:25:01i do it after i see a movie to that's interesting to see if i missed something ah but anyways
00:25:07mrqe
00:25:08everybody loves this movie cheap thrills it's good it's on dvd yeah it's got the the inestimable
00:25:16david keckner in it uh favorite movie three estimable one of my favorite early projects i
00:25:22worked on was a little film uh tell me norm if you remember this one yes uh uh uh dirty
00:25:27work
00:25:28oh yes you know we'll be back everyone who meets you does an impression of you what you're one of
00:25:35those guys that you're you make such an impression on people that everyone that meets you does a norm
00:25:40mcdonald i don't care for any of those impressions by the way you know how they say impressions
00:25:45are the highest form of flattering uh well no they said it's the highest form of
00:25:53flattering anyways imitation is the highest form of flatter yes anyways this is what i get i do a
00:26:01perfect you i go all right let's hear it hey how you doing hey i can do an impression myself
00:26:06yeah
00:26:06hey what's going on hey hey i've never heard you say hey what's going on hey what's going on
00:26:15sounds like you doing an impression of bro doing an impression of you hey
00:26:21all right we're going to be right back after this
00:26:30we are back with the only david keckner and in the break we were talking and uh you uh you
00:26:39told us a
00:26:40fascinating uh little a tidbit of trivia that uh about the origins of the of the expression break
00:26:48a lay share that should we recount it well it's from uh shakespeare's time shakespeare and at that
00:26:55time we were talking about in shakespeare he often recaps and recounts the plot at the top of an act
00:27:00that's because crowds would come in and out they'd leave come and go so you want to catch them up
00:27:05and
00:27:06then oftentimes crowds would just not stay for the end of the play or they might stop it in progress
00:27:12not
00:27:13shakespeare's necessarily but plays of that time people would you know show their uh distaste for
00:27:18a play yes they'd stop the play or whatever so too too many witches you can't go on exactly and
00:27:26so uh
00:27:27they'd say break a leg because that means if you break a leg you're bowing you're only moving your
00:27:32leg back show the uh okay show the crowd at the folks at home break a leg right take a
00:27:37bow you break a
00:27:38leg to take a bow and so that's uh basically goes i hope you get to the end of the
00:27:42play yeah
00:27:42yeah so break a leg it's a it's a piece of trivia that's actually interesting right yeah
00:27:50now were you going to tell the willie nelson how did we get to that well you said we were
00:27:54talking
00:27:55about jokes and and you said uh and daniel caleson our producer said a joke about about um
00:28:01well what it doesn't yes the willie nelson joke yes which many people know i told it to a very
00:28:10smart
00:28:10guy because i was just discussing with you why smart guys super smart guys generally don't have
00:28:16a great sense of humor and it's hard to understand why they don't but this might be why i told
00:28:23the
00:28:23willie nelson joke to a very very smart guy one of the smartest guys in the world and uh he
00:28:30just looked
00:28:30at me and so this is what happened so i'll tell the joke so the joke as you know uh
00:28:37um a guy said
00:28:39okay well you be i'll tell you what you be i'll be the smart guy okay you tell me that
00:28:44you tell the
00:28:44joke no i'll be the smart guy because i'll explain why i didn't oh i didn't get the joke yeah
00:28:48uh what
00:28:49words do you not want to hear uh after you just finished blowing willie nelson oh i don't know what
00:28:55i'm
00:28:56not willie nelson that's the reaction the guy gave you that doesn't make any sense well yeah
00:29:06because you the only reason you well one of the reasons i guess you might blow willie nelson is
00:29:12because you're hoping to get a backstage pass or curry favor from him but then you mistakenly didn't
00:29:17blow the guy no no no it doesn't make any sense because you begin the joke saying what do you
00:29:24not
00:29:24want to hear while blowing while getting blown by willie nelson no you're not it's not why you're
00:29:31getting what's the first sentence of the way i was told first sentence of the joke yes uh what words
00:29:36do you not want to hear after you finish blowing willie nelson yes but you were never blowing willie
00:29:41nelson that's not what this guy would say yeah that's the illogic that he has problems with you
00:29:49were never blowing willie nelson so you lied in the first part of your thing you're right so you
00:29:54couldn't possibly hear that from him because it would be willie nelson speaking but i know but
00:29:58it wouldn't be willie nelson be the guy that said he was willie nelson you would have to say when
00:30:02you
00:30:02thought you were yes so anyways that that that's some guys are so smart this do you like questions
00:30:10from the twitter verse sure well i have a twitter following as you know because i talk to your wife
00:30:16lee often on him and uh i will often and you come in sometimes i'll get in there you came
00:30:22in when i
00:30:23uh attacked brad easton ellis for uh for so savagely attacking the patron saint of canada alice
00:30:29monroe the greatest writer alive you know savaged by this american philistine
00:30:37anyways you stepped in i stepped in hey hey separate now get back in it could you imagine
00:30:44she was was she the no good god she's won the nobel prize this year yeah deservedly and brett easton
00:30:50ellis so oh she's not she's overrated anyways it's like it would be like uh beetle mania saying the
00:30:59beatles are overrated right uh this guy peewee sherman 300 is his name he says in a few words tell
00:31:07us
00:31:07why second city is so much better than the grandlings or upright citizens is it that's what
00:31:15he thinks he said tell me why it is i keep getting put into this situation here's your argument you
00:31:22must
00:31:22defend the thing is i didn't make a citizen brigade and uh the grandlings never had dell close right
00:31:28well i will say this not less about dell improv olympics where dell close was from but i'll say
00:31:32this in response to this i think the ucb is the most important comedy uh theater in the country
00:31:39hands down right now the most important current figures in comedy are coming from the ucb it's it's
00:31:47the newest incubator although i know there are a lot of people came from second city for the last
00:31:51round of hires at uh at saturday night live but anyway for the last 30 years sure but a lot
00:31:59of those
00:32:00people had studied other places i'm not taking anything away from second cities so you're not
00:32:03going to talk about dell close i'll talk about dell you want me to answer this question or talk about
00:32:07dell i'll talk about dell dell was one of the original of the early members of the second city
00:32:12back in the 50s um and then he did some work in television i think he had done a get
00:32:18smart early on
00:32:19and then he started doing a lot of drugs oh he he wrote uh uh he wrote he uh of
00:32:24course he would
00:32:24have written it first but he recorded a comedy album called how to speak hip it was really
00:32:30interesting because things things do date themselves yeah um you've heard so he yeah
00:32:35so he was he was you know a multi-talented uh actor uh comic all that stuff he once did
00:32:41light shows for
00:32:41the grateful dead he hung out with a lot of interesting figures and then late then he got
00:32:45a drug problem for years and then later in life he needed income so a woman named sharna halperman hired
00:32:51him to teach at her uh uh school and theater called the improv olympic now it's just called the io
00:32:56because
00:32:56she was in a embroiled in a legal battle battle with the olympics for years so now she's just
00:33:02calling it the io so dell worked there started teaching and i had the great fortune of studying
00:33:08with dell and dell has influenced people from as far back as bill murray through uh my generation like
00:33:14chris farley adam mckay uh tina fey amy poehler horatio sange rachel drach all those people had studied
00:33:21with dell he was a remarkable teacher uh because he basically you know treated comedy like a religion
00:33:27in my opinion it's like this is as important as drama or anything else so you need to have as
00:33:32much
00:33:32respect for your comedy as you do for what you might you know for a major drama stuff like that
00:33:37so
00:33:38but he would teach improvisation and uh he always had an interesting way of looking at it you know
00:33:42whether it's uh you know uh studying greek gods and the first time i'd heard about joe campbell here
00:33:48with a thousand uh faces uh he had a long suggested reading list a bunch of psychology books stuff like
00:33:54that um and you'd also work with archetypes like you you know you can never be um on stage empty
00:34:00because if you take on an archetype whether it's whatever wind fire or let's like say that as an
00:34:06archetype or a personality as an archetype you can always have something to talk about on stage uh
00:34:12and well another thing i got from it if you took a property from anything and and and uh animated
00:34:18that property inside you you could always have something to do like if you said mug what does mug
00:34:23mean do you um uh uh uh you know what does it order its properties can you tell me what
00:34:30some of the
00:34:30properties a mug might have norm i've lost him i think he's asleep no no no no i can tell
00:34:36you what
00:34:36properties a mug might have but i think you might be interested in the fact that this guy used to
00:34:42jerk off punks under the queensborough bridge for fifteen dollars a man are you sure they were pokes
00:34:48um well how did we get there so i would say a mug is is hard okay hard okay so
00:34:54you could you could
00:34:58i get it i would say it's a vessel it's right yeah well so you'd play that property on stage
00:35:03you've
00:35:04improvising oh so empty you'd play empty i would play empty you'd play empty you could play hard
00:35:08you could play porcelain you could play something shattered whatever you want to take so in improvisation
00:35:12you get a suggestion could i play one of the deadly sins yes you'd let that inform what you're going
00:35:19to do for instance pick one of the your favorite deadly sins well um i remember one time
00:35:26uh a preacher that i used to know when i was a young boy and he said uh y'all
00:35:35was driving his bicycle
00:35:37you know here and there and here again
00:35:42i was driving his bicycle so what's going on i was going to tell you a story i know but
00:35:49it has to do
00:35:50with this okay and uh he's a good man pious man and uh one day his bicycle went missing
00:36:02so uh my daddy uh i said to him bert that was his name but we weren't catholic you know
00:36:10he just called
00:36:11him the preacher by his first name
00:36:15bert bert i said i think i know how to find out who stole your bicycle how how would i
00:36:21do it when
00:36:23you're uh um talking when you're doing your sermon next year next week you just go through the ten
00:36:30commandments you just go through the ten commands from one to ten and when you hit number eight
00:36:37thou shalt not steal you look at the congregation and you'll see somebody see doing this here you know
00:36:49fiddling with his glasses that's your thief i'll do it bert says so my daddy told me that story and
00:36:57i was
00:36:57boy i was i was really hankering to see that that speech that that that bert was gonna gonna say
00:37:07that
00:37:07day so he uh goes through the ten commandments that says starts from one right down ten now he gets
00:37:12to
00:37:13eight and speeds right through it speeds right through eight but daddy said what the hell so afterwards
00:37:20you get get outside bert what in earth happened yeah a number eight was the one you were supposed to
00:37:27it was going you know supposed to why'd you speed through it bert says well i'll tell you why
00:37:34when i came to uh number seven in the ten commandments thou shall not commit adultery by golly i remember
00:37:42where i might i put my bike
00:37:48he was fucking widow mclannan
00:37:52that's not adultery she's a widow no but he's a he's a man of the clock oh he's a
00:37:57catholic he's a priest no he's he's a reverend but we have our you know so that's how we got
00:38:04there from from the seven deadly sins okay yeah so that's where i would inform myself i would take
00:38:10i'm trying to i was trying to take you i would take lust yeah because that's what i have most
00:38:15for
00:38:15lust for power lust for money lust for yeah for your glasses nice lust for your hat you can play
00:38:23now
00:38:23that doesn't mean i want to for him that doesn't mean i want to fuck your hat no no no
00:38:27you don't
00:38:27have to lust lust doesn't mean you just want to fuck some sure you can cut what does lust mean
00:38:31you
00:38:31could covet something yeah uh cover yeah covet well that's not it but i think i think that's part of
00:38:38it for sure i can i have yeah i've lost for a lot of there's covetousness in lust you're right
00:38:43okay thank
00:38:44you i've finally scored a point i feel like so would you ever do that just take in the back
00:38:48of your mind
00:38:49and just talk a regular conversation but in the back of your mind you have you're coveting something
00:38:54it gives you an intention yeah i i can't remember if i've ever used covet but it gives you an
00:38:59intention
00:38:59to play because in improvisation you're always you know you're you don't have a script no i know all
00:39:04you have to do is listen what the other person said but gives you a point of view so it
00:39:08helps you
00:39:09know drive the scene forward it's like having a secret would you would would you uh suggest this for
00:39:16any actor improvisational classes yeah yeah yeah i think it's wonderful good stage muscle yeah
00:39:23yeah yeah because i did stand up and it's kind of the opposite you know it's you know i mean
00:39:28you're
00:39:28talking you're talking to the audience you know you don't have anybody to talk to you kind of
00:39:33have the audience you're just keeping them at bay you know what i mean you don't feel like you're
00:39:37in communion with the audience when you don't stand up well now i do because i just speak to the
00:39:41audience but yeah before that no it's you know i mean if you do if you do it uh a
00:39:46second city show
00:39:47and three minutes four minutes go by without a laugh that's okay on stage doing stand up that ain't
00:39:53okay not okay unless you're telling a really interesting story yeah yeah or a nice joke about
00:39:57a preacher god damn who doesn't like them preachers you've got quite a stack of cards do we get through
00:40:03all these oh yeah oh yeah i got very canadian all of a sudden all right oh uh well i
00:40:10did not know
00:40:10you love credence clearwater so much i i is that just in there that's just in there on wikipedia look
00:40:16i love credence but it's not to me like okay they're the the greatest thing in my life i read
00:40:21okay
00:40:21lou reed iggy pop uncle tupelo are those some sure sure and you obviously big fan of wilco
00:40:26taste in music thank you did you get to see the replacements reunion i didn't see the reunion i
00:40:31saw them have you seen them no they haven't come oh yeah i love the replacements very jealous i
00:40:35saw their last show in chicago uh before the before the when they broke up the you know the
00:40:42original time um their last show i uh tickets were sold out so i had this harebrained harebrained
00:40:49idea why isn't that funny voice that's what you're talking about it's funny when you say the
00:40:55replacements because i there was a band right before the replacements that were called uh the guys who
00:41:01never thought they'd be replaced and uh their career just plummeted while the replacements went
00:41:08out yeah well they never were as popular as they should have been in my episode one of the greatest
00:41:12bands ever chrissy heinz nope great voice though what are you talking about chrissy heinz had a great
00:41:19voice yes that's nothing to do with the replacements because i'm not sexist i'm trying to bring a lady into
00:41:24the conversation i don't know what's going on again yeah uh do you know i think women are hilarious
00:41:30this paul musterberg i do too well you haven't brought one up yet i haven't brought a woman up
00:41:35no as a funny i think women are really really funny what does this have to do with the replacements
00:41:40he's he's trying to goad me into another bait me into another argument no i have to take this the
00:41:45side that i don't want to take because you're a comedy expert and all of a sudden you're kurt loader
00:41:50i mean i want to hear about comedy and i think women are funny
00:41:55you do think women are funny the replacements were one of the only two bands uh a band from
00:42:00saturday night live were they yeah i believe so i didn't know that anyway i the tickets were
00:42:05sold out i had a harebrained idea yeah uh i called and said you had a harebrained idea take off
00:42:12your
00:42:12hat and say that yeah bad bad bad bad bad baby you know what gurning is we'll do that in
00:42:20a second
00:42:21i'm going to take a break i know good annie annio wants us to take a break uh i called
00:42:26the the venue
00:42:27and said i'm with a radio station out of columbia missouri and i got press passes oh that's amazing
00:42:32right up front that's amazing it's easy to get press passes if you're from a small place yeah it
00:42:36doesn't happen anymore you that would never happen uh we'll be right back annio is putting us on a
00:42:41break and then we'll come back and we'll discuss gurning unless you want to get to your stack of
00:42:44cards which might be a fake stack of cards no no they're jokes okay you want to do some jokes
00:42:49we
00:42:49got to take a break absolutely after the break jokes with david kechtner and some discussions of
00:42:54gurning yeah we have returned and uh by we i mean my trusty sidekick adam egott who you will see
00:43:04uh to the uh to the to the to the twext of my left shoulder in front of me sits
00:43:13none other when did
00:43:14you start the hat i love it uh i started getting a little bit of uh pre-cancers on my
00:43:19head good god
00:43:21christ almighty i thought it'd be a nice fun little thing okay uh this is a way it also protects
00:43:27the ears
00:43:27yeah that i'm sorry my answer didn't please you i know now am i a twext or tween would you
00:43:35like a
00:43:35joke i would love a joke this is where we tell it but before we do jokes are we going
00:43:38to do gurning
00:43:39somebody hey somebody has to pay tell us about the five uh uh points of comedy five points of
00:43:46comedy you know what actually dave allen you know gruber dave gruber out uh dave allen dave allen
00:43:51who you might know as the the naked trucker one time we were out uh doing a uh a movie
00:43:56on the road
00:43:57and uh dill scallion you're good and we went to a charlie daniels concert that's because i'm a fan
00:44:04i don't research nice and charlie daniels had five points of integrity five points of integrity yeah
00:44:09about music or something like that it was kind of crazy but so dave and i made up five points
00:44:13of
00:44:13comedy is five points of integrity and one of them i remember being gurning
00:44:17yeah like you know the the things you must have in your tool bag for comedy yeah right you know
00:44:22what gurney is i know what gurney is and you want to tell adam e what gurney why don't you
00:44:26tell the
00:44:26folks at home it's the masterful art of of face contortions ah some people can germ really well
00:44:33you can take your bottom lip that'd be gurney yeah it's a lost art yeah there's a lot of lost
00:44:39arts
00:44:40in common should do uh should do lost lots yeah that'd be some gurney right there no skeleton ash
00:44:49skeleton ash yes skeleton those are the ones that uh those are the folks that uh survive the ages
00:44:56i think you're right physical comedians any physical comedy i'm with you what verbal comedy
00:45:03you know even mark twain the funniest man ever to put pen to paper two fathoms here go ahead not
00:45:11uh doesn't doesn't translate as well as a chaplain or keaton who did brilliant physical comedy you hear
00:45:19a joke once you want to hear it ten times no but if you if you see a guy running
00:45:24down a hill with a
00:45:25million boulders chasing him that you can watch forever lord of the flies yeah
00:45:31let's get piggy we got to do a commercial let's get piggy right simon oh he was the good guy
00:45:38everybody loves simon everybody loves the christ figures never understood i was so hoping we'd get
00:45:44to religion on today's show norm let's sell some airtime future advisor so in this part of the show
00:45:51i'm supposed to talk about our sponsor future advisor i'm interested i want to hear about it what is
00:45:56well there's a website that helps people with their investments you got any money very little
00:46:03well future if you had future advisor perhaps that would be different you the folks at home
00:46:09look at the folks at home while i say this the folks at home may have seen me talk about
00:46:13future
00:46:14advisor in past episodes well long time sponsor here's where it gets interesting okay hold on
00:46:21future advisor they've called adam eager and they said that if a thousand people sign up for a free
00:46:29trial free trial then future advisor is going to do something cool for me true story
00:46:39now we don't know what it is but they're going to do something cool for me future advisor and you
00:46:45can
00:46:45sign up for free yes why why how many people sign up three four five thousand we just started well
00:46:51this is the first time we're saying all right so we need a thousand and then and i like cool
00:46:56things
00:46:56right when they're for me gadgets gizmos what yeah when when other people get cool things listen
00:47:04i'm i'm guilty of the vainglory you know what i mean you're a good uh catholic man aren't you i
00:47:09was
00:47:09raised catholic okay is that is that avoiding the answer no i'm just saying you know that you and me
00:47:15and adam eager are nothing but sinners you know what sin means it means to miss the mark it's not
00:47:22a
00:47:22shameful thing no that's what's to sin it's it's an archer's term i miss i did not know that you're
00:47:28one of the smartest guys i know i thought you would know that anyway let's finish maybe i i don't
00:47:34you
00:47:34know just because how would i know an iron what am i a cooper i'm not it's not how would
00:47:41i know
00:47:42archery it's not a criticism well you took i gave you a compliment and you took it as a negative
00:47:48go
00:47:49ahead let's finish our commercial go to futureadvisor.com slash norm for your free trial free absolutely free
00:47:56trial yeah so skin off my back we want them to do it we want them to do it it
00:48:04says right here
00:48:05maybe it will be a boat yes or maybe it will be a coat
00:48:11or maybe it will be a new house for adam egott how that helps me i don't know i guess
00:48:17it gets
00:48:18him out of my fucking crawl space probably not but we can dream i don't like a house with a
00:48:25crawl space
00:48:26i don't well a crawl space can just be the raised foundation as well i know but doesn't
00:48:32isn't there an inference when you hear the word crawl space where you think of uh well you were
00:48:36good friends with john wayne gacy not friends but didn't you come from the same place no i spent
00:48:42some years in chicago that's what i'm talking about chicago illinois i do keep putting me in these
00:48:50insane positions well you're talking about gurning and everything by golly he was a clown
00:48:55anyway folks go to futureadvisor.com slash norm and get your free trial are those reading glasses
00:49:02they are look how close they are to my glass i know very good where do you get yours these
00:49:06are
00:49:06not reading glasses these are real ones but let's so you're you're trying to spend a lot of money on
00:49:11that uh these you have a stronger prescription than i do and a larger uh i got a big i
00:49:18will
00:49:19tell you this i bet that hat smile on me yeah it's i have a small head let's check it
00:49:23out but not just
00:49:24up here yeah i know what how would you know the heavier cock now check this out bear now do
00:49:33a little
00:49:33a hat work bad bad bad bad bad bad adorable now that's something no one's going to remember anything
00:49:42in this interview except when you were a boy did you love physical comics uh i i love the marx
00:49:47brothers
00:49:47better more than i did the three stooges oh you do yeah i didn't like the marx brothers
00:49:55what's up just an earthquake wasn't an earthquake it's a car rolling by with a lot of bass let's get
00:50:01to
00:50:01our next topic okay uh they're jokes would you like to read one i would be this is a joke
00:50:07david
00:50:08keckner that is uh ripped from today's headlines yesterday's headlines all right the world cup
00:50:16yes world cup fever yes get some amoxicillin ah makes sense the world cup has arrived so if you're
00:50:25wondering why your local bar smells it's because all of the dirty foreigners
00:50:30dirty foreigners dirty foreigners let me try that again hey uh hey norm uh you know the world cup's
00:50:37going on yeah yeah yeah hey uh you you go to the local bar there don't you local watering hole
00:50:42yeah
00:50:43yeah sure yeah yeah uh you ever wonder why why it smells so much yeah hey uh uh because those
00:50:50dirty
00:50:50foreigners uh jingoism is alive and well here on nm live here we go next one jingoism means uh yeah
00:51:04i
00:51:04believe so what does it mean uh it's hard to put into words but it's hard to put into words
00:51:08it's like um
00:51:09it's not like nationalism but it's it is very much like nationalism it's hard it is nationalism it's
00:51:15prejudice again would you like to read this i thought it was more complicated would you like
00:51:19to read that yeah uh this week i learned oh this week i learned i'm sorry have you ever heard
00:51:26of tyil
00:51:27this week i learned i have not well it's sweeping the nation it's hashtagging faster than uh
00:51:35but it's called this week i learned faster than something that moves quickly yeah like faster than a
00:51:40freight train this week i learned it's the twyl so check it out sometimes hashtag twyl and people
00:51:45talk about what they learned that week let's see what i learned so this week i learned by invited back
00:51:51to the comedy table these are always fun uh this week i learned just because i masturbated to that
00:51:57picture of a guy falling to his death on 9 11 doesn't mean i have to share it
00:52:05well you know now this is this is this is fine this is fine for a fella that during 9
00:52:1111 you know was
00:52:12in uh costa rica partying with his friends i was walking through the blood and the bones uh and uh
00:52:20so you're put off by that in manhattan a little bit i can't believe you're right i had to get
00:52:25a new uh
00:52:25pants because the blood and the bones just now or back then back then i was ankle deep and blood
00:52:32and bones you went through the war norm well it was an attack on our country a recent report stated
00:52:39that there are over 60 a recent report stated that there are over 65 active serial killers
00:52:46in the united states what they don't know is there's actually 66
00:52:59that's just between you and me no
00:53:04oh brides magazine has released a list of 11 ways well do you want to do this i'd love to
00:53:10be invited
00:53:10back to the comedy round table brides hey uh brides magazine released a list of 11 ways to be a
00:53:17terrible bride they include don't interfere with the wedding planner don't lie about how much the
00:53:22wedding costs your family and coming in at number one don't fuck your husband's best friends oh that's
00:53:29the worst more than one i mean we end the show now david keckner are you familiar with the james
00:53:35lipton and the actor's studio i am familiar and you remember at the end of the show he will always
00:53:39ask
00:53:40he will go these are 10 questions by job some guy that are famous questions i guess for dinner
00:53:47parties or something like that i don't know where they came from okay but you you've seen this sure
00:53:52so we decided if it's good enough for james lipton jimmy who was a pimp
00:53:58then it's good enough for us did you not know james lipton was a pimp no i had no idea
00:54:04yes in france
00:54:05he i mean he said it okay look what i have in my hand i've been having this in my
00:54:11hand the entire
00:54:11interview today i learned two things maybe there's a shelf down there questions all right so the idea
00:54:18is of the same questions for every guest what i don't like that question he doesn't like the first
00:54:26question yes what's your definition of heaven this show would you rather be murdered by a stranger or a
00:54:33loved one i guess a stranger because when you're murdered you didn't ask me why i chose it but uh
00:54:40usually that's uh they're worse if you you know up close and personal well no a loved one usually
00:54:46it's a passion yeah yeah and it's it's much they can tell it's a much worse crime yeah yeah why
00:54:52the
00:54:52extra 68 stab ones right right i got you yeah just you know if you got to pick them this
00:54:58is kind of
00:54:58interesting but if you got to choose them and you may what would your last words what would you like
00:55:06your last words to be god i was good that would be very accurate
00:55:17what's your favorite dessert david koechner uh probably a brownie with vanilla ice cream oh my god
00:55:24i was a warm brown brown yeah yeah well i got a lot of who's your hero who's my hero
00:55:31um i don't really have a hero per se don't have one well i don't there's not a person i
00:55:36hold up
00:55:37like wow that's my hero no never had a hero well no i mean you know comedy wise the uh
00:55:41i would say
00:55:42like the marx brothers or monty python those guys uh those guys are all good choices uh but
00:55:50i like the troops uh would you rather how about this i'll say this my wife your wife yeah yeah
00:55:57that
00:55:57was good after five minutes we can edit this is a very good question and you don't have to you
00:56:03don't
00:56:03have to say this person by name or anything like that but who has let you down the most in
00:56:09your life
00:56:10seriously seriously do you can take a moment you know not everything has to be funny david
00:56:18it's the person you're looking at oh well i think we all let ourselves down the most no
00:56:23no one else can let you down that's your choice you can't blame uh you know your failure or whatever
00:56:30on someone else it's yourself you've let yourself down so it would be me beautiful answer that is
00:56:36taking responsibility completely well this is kind of a i'm not going to ask you what's your
00:56:42most embarrassing secret why would you tell me if um that's the chair my most embarrassing secret
00:56:49i can't i can't of course i don't have any embarrassing secrets uh do you eat at mcdonald's
00:56:52i have eaten mcdonald's before you do you like mcdonald's on occasion what about that pink stuff
00:56:57the pink slime i don't know much about i mean it was reported widely in the news yeah in the
00:57:02last
00:57:03year yeah uh-huh i don't think it's it's only mcdonald's that i don't think it is a huge problem
00:57:11is the uh a huge problem is that i had a punk band named pink slime and we fucking uh
00:57:18lost our
00:57:18recording contract after that i like it uh a larger issue is the amount of processed food we're all
00:57:26eating as americans what is going on with that that's just a convenience yeah processed food what is
00:57:31that well i've heard of it it's got preservatives in it yeah and a lot of salt yeah sodium yeah
00:57:37so
00:57:37oftentimes a lot of high fructose corn syrup and what does it do to you causes diabetes well that's
00:57:42terrible how they have you take your uh leg not always sometimes you go blind sometimes you go blind
00:57:49yeah sometimes both and then you you can't at least you can't see that you only have one leg
00:57:55you know what i like about this show it's not afraid to take on the issues
00:57:59hard-hitting with norm mcdonald do you eat well i try to you try your best you eat whole grains
00:58:05uh
00:58:06i will try i try to increase the amount of fruits and vegetables i eat fruits fresh foods yeah yeah
00:58:13less processed foods you you you still slam back a few drinks oh yeah scotch i'll have scotch
00:58:20bourbon i prefer scotch to bourbon these days i thought you were a scotch i'm more of a beer
00:58:25drinker ipas oh ipas what's that international pale ales that's india pale ales india pale ales
00:58:32what do you like to drink other than fucking jizz i mean what do you uh what alcohol do you
00:58:38like to
00:58:38drink glenlivet glenlivet scotch yeah that's a scotch that's a scotch that's what he just said yeah
00:58:45inches yeah scotch inches no that's the name of your band that's a good norm is there anything
00:58:51we didn't get to today i would if you don't mind i'd like to plug big slick in kansas city
00:58:55uh next
00:58:57weekend that's the let's see the 20th and 21st i believe it's a charity for the children's mercy
00:59:02hospital there in kansas city you can donate online go to big slick uh they have a crowdwise campaign
00:59:07and donate under my name because we have the competition myself paul rudd uh rob riggle jason
00:59:13sudeikis and eric stone street they're all from the kansas city area and also uh the national kidney
00:59:17foundation wait a minute i put money into that you did but i saw it on twitter you did good
00:59:22you put it
00:59:23on twitter yeah yeah oh at david koechner um well tell the people what it's for of children's mercy
00:59:29hospital yeah in kansas city it's a fundraiser they do every year um for the last five years let's be
00:59:36the
00:59:36fifth one and also uh comedy for kidneys uh the 25th or 26th look it up i'll post it on
00:59:43twitter uh
00:59:44at the laugh factory awesome with the great bill burr oh he'll be doing some comicals that night
00:59:50one of the best oh have you had bill no love bill but he's great he's the best yeah funny
00:59:55always fun
00:59:57incapable of being unfunny yeah incredible now let me ask you this this is the question we always ask
01:00:02everybody okay and no one has yet disappointed us what is your favorite joke that you've ever heard
01:00:13oh oh there's two of them one is about a bear in the woods that keeps getting shot do you
01:00:19know that
01:00:19one am i supposed to tell the joke sure oh boy okay all right uh there's a guy a hunter
01:00:24goes out
01:00:24bear hunting got a big rifle he's out there for a little while and he spots a bear
01:00:29and he gets in its sight blam bear goes down guy goes running over hill and dale he's looking around
01:00:36and there's no bear the bear gets he feels these paws on his shoulders the bear goes what the
01:00:43fuck do you think you're doing coming in here shooting at me i'm going to teach you a lesson then
01:00:50he he
01:00:51drops the hunter's trousers and he he rogers him rightly oh roundly roundly and uh so the the hunter
01:01:02was you know quite embarrassed and then he goes out and gets a bigger gun he goes to the same
01:01:06area
01:01:06looking for that bear and he sees him blam i got him this time bear goes down he goes running
01:01:12looking
01:01:12for the bear feels these paws on his shoulders he goes un-fucking-believable you come into my woods
01:01:22again and shoot at me i you know i want to teach you another lesson so he drops the hunter's
01:01:29trousers
01:01:30and once again rogers him rightly and roundly yes next week hunter comes back with an elephant gun
01:01:38he's like i'm gonna finish this bear once and for all he waits it's cold now sees the bear blam
01:01:46he's
01:01:46sure he's got him he's got that he's got that bear i bet he does he's going looking for that
01:01:50bear
01:01:50no bear around he feels those bear paws on his shoulders and he's bear says to the hunter you don't
01:01:58come here for the hunting do you oh he likes it that was awesome i never heard that joke david
01:02:08kegner
01:02:08is with us the entire hour what a guy what a guy i love david don't forget the future something
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