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Pee-wee decides to start his own newspaper, but Randy publishes false articles in it.
Secret Word: How
King of Cartoons: The Little Red Hen (1934) (The King of Cartoons does not appear)

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Transcript
00:05AHHHHH!
00:30Let's go.
01:25Let's go.
01:33Let's go.
02:08Let's go.
02:14Let's go.
02:37Let's go.
02:41Let's go.
02:42Good morning, boys and girls.
02:43Woo-hoo, Pee-wee.
02:46Oh, it's you, Countess.
02:49What's today's secret word?
02:52Perfect timing.
02:53I was just about to go ask Conky.
03:06Conky 2-2-2-thousand.
03:07Ready to assist you, Pee-wee.
03:09Good morning, Conky.
03:11The Countess and I would like to know what today's secret word is.
03:20Today's secret word is how?
03:23Now, you all remember what to do whenever anyone says the secret word, right?
03:27Scream.
03:29Scream.
03:30That's right.
03:30For the rest of the day, whenever anyone says the secret word, scream me aloud.
03:36Ready?
03:36Let's try it.
03:39Oh, Countess.
03:40Yes, Pee-wee.
03:43Do you know the proper way to make ice cream?
03:46Well, I'm a cow.
03:47Of course I know how.
03:52Well, would you show me how?
03:57I will.
03:59Well, go ahead, Magic Screen.
04:06Everyone loves ice cream, one of America's favorite delicacies.
04:12Let's take a trip to find out just how ice cream is made.
04:16It begins with milk, and we all know that milk comes from cows.
04:22Let's look in on Mr. Dairy Farmer getting ready to milk the cows.
04:26An automatic milking machine is attached to the cow, allowing the milk to travel to a storage tank.
04:39Next, sugar, egg yolks, whipping cream, flavoring, and fruit are mixed into the milk.
04:50Then it's ready to be made into delicious ice cream cups, cones, and bars.
05:02Mmm!
05:03Looks good, doesn't it?
05:05The final step is to package the ice cream and send it off to the store so everyone can enjoy
05:12it.
05:16Hey, save some for me.
05:20Ice cream! You scream! We all scream for ice cream!
05:24And high!
05:29So long, Pee-wee!
05:31Bye-bye, Countess!
05:33Hmm. Let's go look through my microscope!
05:45A microscope lets you look at things that you can't see with the naked eye!
05:48Ah! Don't look at me! My eyes are naked!
05:54I'm looking at a tiny drop of water that I got out of the fish tank.
06:07Wow!
06:09Ooh!
06:16Gosh! I never knew there was so much going on inside a drop of water!
06:21Chloe, what are you reading?
06:24The newspaper.
06:26You know, Pee-wee, a newspaper is a great way to find out what's happening.
06:31What does it say about me?
06:33What does it say about me?
06:35What about me?
06:37Sorry, everybody. There's nothing in it about the Playhouse.
06:42That gives me a great idea, Globy!
06:44Why don't we start a Playhouse newspaper?
06:47And everyone here can help write stories!
06:49Yeah!
06:51Pee-wee, a Playhouse newspaper sounds like fun!
06:54If you ask me, a newspaper sounds like a dumb idea!
06:58It isn't a dumb idea, Randy!
07:00A newspaper for the Playhouse will let us all know what's going on!
07:03We can stay informed!
07:04Exchange ideas!
07:06The only thing a newspaper is good for is to rat fish in!
07:10Uh-oh!
07:11In that case, no news is good news!
07:17You're gonna see, Randy.
07:19This is going to be the best Playhouse newspaper the Playhouse has ever had!
07:24H reporter, Pee-wee Herman, on the scene!
07:28Now all I need is some news!
07:31Remember, Pee-wee, every good news story has the five W's and the H.
07:37The five W's and the H?
07:39What's that, Globy?
07:40Who, what, when, where, why, and how?
07:51Oh, there's still no duck here!
07:54Got it!
07:56Hey, Pee-wee, here comes the most beautiful woman in Puppet Land!
08:01Well, that could only be one person!
08:04Miss Yvonne!
08:08Hi, Miss Yvonne!
08:09Hi, Pee-wee!
08:11Hi, everyone!
08:12Hi, Miss Yvonne!
08:14Hi, boys and girls!
08:18That's a beautiful scarf, Miss Yvonne!
08:20Hold it!
08:22Thank you!
08:23It's for my story for the fashion page of the Playhouse Press!
08:28The scarf!
08:29The accessory that does everything!
08:33It does?
08:34Sure it does!
08:35Just watch!
08:42It's a belt!
08:43Hold it!
08:45Hold it!
08:50Wear it on your shoulder!
08:52And it's a tasteful fashion statement!
08:55Hold that!
09:00Now!
09:03It's a babushka!
09:05Ooh, ooh!
09:07Hold that!
09:08Beautiful!
09:09Hold that!
09:12Tie it around your neck!
09:15And it's a neckerchief!
09:18A little more eyes!
09:24Pull it up over your face and you're a bandit!
09:27Stick'em up, big guy!
09:29Ooh!
09:30Ooh!
09:33Miss Yvonne!
09:35Do you think I could possibly, uh, interview you for the Playhouse paper?
09:40Well...
09:40Come on, Miss Yvonne!
09:42Please, please, please!
09:43Pretty please with cigar on top!
09:45Well, as long as you put it that way.
09:47Ha, ha, ha, ha!
09:54Okay.
09:55Question number one.
09:57When did you discover that you were so beautiful?
10:00Hmm...
10:01The first time I looked in the mirror.
10:07And, uh, is it fun being so beautiful?
10:10Oh, yes!
10:11Beauty!
10:12Beauty is my life!
10:15But sometimes, it's a lot of hard work.
10:20It is?
10:21Mm-hmm.
10:23Pee-wee, you're not gonna believe this.
10:26But sometimes, I just don't feel beautiful.
10:31I don't believe it.
10:34What do you do?
10:36I just don't look in the mirror.
10:40Oh!
10:43Okay, now, on a more personal level...
10:47Um, you know, I'd love to stay here and answer your questions, Pee-wee, but...
10:54A gal's gotta keep the guys guessing about some things.
10:58Bye-bye.
10:59Bye!
11:02Boy, this is gonna be a great story!
11:05Hey, Pee-wee, Pee-wee, my story's ready.
11:09Oh, good!
11:10Thanks, Lobby!
11:11Pee-wee, my story's ready, too!
11:14Oh!
11:14Thanks, Terry!
11:16And here's the rest!
11:18Oh, good!
11:19Thanks, Conky!
11:21Boy, everybody did a great job!
11:23All deserve a reward!
11:26Snack time!
11:28Hooray!
11:30Today for snack time, we're making trail mix!
11:34It's easy to make and fun to eat!
11:37I'm using raisins!
11:43Peanuts!
11:48Sunflower seeds!
11:54Almonds!
11:59Banana chips!
12:03Banana chips!
12:08Mmm, just like a banana, only crunchy!
12:15And my favorite, coconut shavings!
12:27Now, put the lid on, and get ready to shake!
12:46Mmm...
12:47Mmm...
12:49Mmm...
12:49Mmm...
12:50Mmm...
12:51Hoorah!
12:51Traile mix!
12:55Mmm...
12:55Mm, delicious, if I do say so myself.
12:59And I do.
13:02Hey, I wonder if the food page is ready yet.
13:25Oh, my God.
13:58Pretty corny.
14:02Hey, Pee-wee, it's time for a cartoon.
14:06This is a tale of a little red hen, lived on a farm in a chicky chick pen.
14:10She and her brood would never shirk, but the live long day just twerk, twerk, twerk.
14:24One fine day, this little red hen called some wheat in her chicky chick pen.
14:29All the little chicks fart, but the hen said, no, we'll do this wheat.
14:40You will help me sow my wheat.
14:45You, you, you.
14:49Not I.
14:50I'm much too fat.
14:52Not I.
14:52My feet are flat.
14:54Not I.
14:54Go ask the cat.
14:56Ah!
14:56I'll do it all myself.
14:59Ah!
14:59So the little red hen just looked around.
15:01Found a little plow to plow her ground.
15:04Plowed its heart and she plowed its feet.
15:06And the little chicks helped with the peep, peep, peep.
15:24So the little hen worked like a busy bee, she had to feed her family.
15:30Needed the dough and she needed it quick for empty tommies make little chicks sick.
15:57Oh, you'll help me eat my bread.
16:01I will.
16:02I will.
16:03I will.
16:05I will.
16:05I will.
16:07I will.
16:10I will.
16:28Not you, you're much too fat, not you, you'll be all fat, not you, I'll have the cat, ah, I'll
16:36eat it all myself.
16:42Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
16:46Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
17:09Oh, that's it.
17:12I finished typing the very first edition of the Playhouse paper.
17:27This is going to be the best newspaper the Playhouse has ever had.
17:40Well, looks like Pee Wee finished typing up the newspaper.
17:44What's this?
17:45Food fun?
17:46Missy Vaughn's fashion tips?
17:49Globies World Report?
17:52Boring!
17:53Nobody's going to want to read this dull news.
17:56What this paper needs is a little excitement.
18:00Let's see...
18:07Ha!
18:08I've got it!
18:11This ought to spice it up.
18:15He, he, he!
18:17.
18:36Gee, Glovie, I didn't know there were headhunters in Iceland.
18:40What?
18:41Who says?
18:42You do, right here on page three.
18:45I didn't write that.
18:46The people of Iceland are very friendly.
18:49Oh, Jumby.
18:54What is it, Terry?
18:56May I have my two wishes, please?
18:58Wishes?
18:59What wishes?
19:00It says right here in your horoscope column,
19:03everyone gets two wishes today.
19:05Wait a minute.
19:06That's not what I said.
19:08Have you read the story about Miss Yvonne?
19:11Do you think it's true?
19:13It must be.
19:14It's in the newspaper.
19:15Why did she do it?
19:16I thought she was our friend.
19:19Who's responsible for this?
19:22Miss Yvonne, right here in the playhouse.
19:25I can't believe my eyes.
19:28Yeah.
19:29Yeah.
19:29Oh, I just can't believe this.
19:32Wait, these are all lies.
19:35Hi, everybody.
19:36So did you all enjoy the paper?
19:39No.
19:39No.
19:40I didn't say there were headhunters in Iceland.
19:44But.
19:44And you told everyone I'd give them two wishes.
19:47But.
19:48But.
19:48And why did you print this about me?
19:55Miss Yvonne, Rob's playhouse?
19:57You know it isn't true.
20:01Gosh, everyone.
20:02I didn't write this.
20:04Who did?
20:06Who did?
20:07I did.
20:08He he he he he he he he he he.
20:10Randy, how could you?
20:11What's better?
20:12Take a business.
20:13Nice going.
20:14Why, Randy?
20:16Well, all your stories were real dull.
20:18So when Pee Wee fell asleep last night, I fixed them up a little.
20:23They're not dull now, are they?
20:25They're not true either, Randy.
20:27You can't just make up lies about people.
20:29Especially in the newspaper.
20:31Yeah.
20:31You shouldn't tell lies, Randy.
20:34You won't have any friends left if you don't tell the truth about them, Randy.
20:38I was just trying to make the newspaper more exciting.
20:42What's more important, the newspaper or your friends?
20:47Yeah.
20:47What's more important?
20:49Geez.
20:50Nothing's more important than my friends.
20:52I guess.
20:53I'm sorry, everybody.
20:55I sort of got carried away.
20:57From now on, I'll always tell the truth.
20:59Can I quote you on that?
21:08Hey, everyone.
21:10There's one story in the paper that's still true.
21:13Which one, Pee Wee?
21:14The one on the last page.
21:16It says here there's going to be a picnic dance at the Playhouse.
21:20When?
21:23Right now!
21:24Kunky, start the music!
21:37All out of my
21:39Let's go.
21:40You can't go.
21:45You can't go.
21:47To the best.
21:48You can't go.
21:51What?
21:52You can't go.
21:54You can't go.
21:57You can't go.
22:17You can sure get in a lot of trouble
22:18when you don't tell the truth!
22:20I guess we all learned an important lesson today!
22:23And how!
22:31And how much have you learned?
22:37I don't know!
22:38I don't know!
22:38I don't know!
22:38I don't know!
22:40I don't know!
22:43I don't know!
22:59You just don't know!
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