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00:04I had finally hit my stride as chief of medicine. I was bonding with the staff.
00:09Okay, mister, it's a new dawn, it's a new day.
00:12Lift out the energy.
00:14Nailing it as a teacher.
00:15Remember when I taught you about the oncotic pressure and third spacing the fluid in liver patients?
00:21On it.
00:22And keeping up physician morale.
00:26Handful of cake and it ain't even my birthday.
00:28I was born this way, never done one squat.
00:31Oh, I know.
00:32Even Turk's rock-hard tush couldn't knock me off my game.
00:35What the?
00:36Good morning, oldie.
00:38You can imagine my pleasure in shock to see you haven't yet turned this place into a spirit Halloween store.
00:44Kudos.
00:44On passing the lowest bar possible.
00:46What are you doing here?
00:47Is it something with me?
00:48I'm incredibly busy, but okay, I've moved some things around.
00:51I'm free now.
00:52Ugh, Perry, is this man bothering you?
00:54Yeah, but he has been for the better part of 25 years.
00:57And if you must know, Park and I have dinner plans, but Pumpkin, relax.
01:02We're gonna stop at Zales afterwards and get you something gorgeous.
01:05Oh, I love that.
01:06What piece of jewelry screams daddy issues?
01:09I wouldn't know, Park.
01:10Oh, definitely a belly chain.
01:11Well, if you're missing your daddy, then I'm thinking a lock-in.
01:14Ooh, I would love a lock-in.
01:15Off we go.
01:17Oldie.
01:19Don't worry, he's gonna look back.
01:20He's gonna look back.
01:21He's gonna look back.
01:21Nope.
01:22He put his arm on his shoulder.
01:24Dude, summon your big doctor energy and glide away.
01:37Turk!
01:41Come back!
01:42I can't!
01:43I'm in my Jamiroquai flow state, baby!
01:49He's so smooth.
01:52I can't do this all on my own.
01:56Though I know I'm no Superman.
02:02I'm no Superman.
02:05Since Dr. Cox was here, I wanted to throw some extra sauce on rounds.
02:09Luckily, I re-watched Independence Day last night.
02:13Mankind.
02:15That word should have extra meaning for us all today.
02:18Nailed it!
02:20Look, guys, you are no longer untrained, untested newbies.
02:25You have learned so much by now.
02:28Dr. Dorian is right.
02:29There it is.
02:30It only took 25 years.
02:32You have so much more knowledge than you did six months ago when you started with me.
02:38Bet you feel pretty good about that, right?
02:42Stop smiling.
02:43Because you're, in fact, dangerous.
02:45You now know enough to think you know everything.
02:48You're like that 10-year-old at the wheel of a Subaru.
02:51Can your feet reach the pedals?
02:52Well, sure.
02:53Should you actually operate the vehicle under no conditions?
02:56And just like that 10-year-old, you're all potential killers.
03:00Killers.
03:00Dr. Cox, I'm gonna need you to.
03:02That's right, killers.
03:04Killers screaming,
03:05wee-hee, as you blow through the front of a diner, nearly taking out an innocent family.
03:10It feels like you're not hearing me.
03:11Splitting up their cheesy fries and sugary beverage.
03:13He's not an employee.
03:14I'm powerless.
03:15It's okay.
03:16I need him to take a listen to me.
03:18Allow me to put Dr. Cox's dark tableau through the John Dorian positivity filter.
03:25You got this, okay?
03:26Just be alert and bring your A-game.
03:29We have a very challenging day today.
03:31All I wanted was for my interns to shine in front of Dr. Cox today.
03:35But unfortunately, the odds were against us.
03:38You can't hide from the Hippocratic rule of thirds.
03:42One-third of very sick patients die no matter what you do.
03:45One-third die because of what you do.
03:48And one-third get better on their own.
03:50We're going to do everything we can for you.
03:55Tosh, patient's labs came back.
03:57She's hyponatremic, so start IV sodium replacement.
03:59Got it?
03:59Good.
04:00And don't let Dr. Cox being here get in your head.
04:01Oh, I won't.
04:02I think he's hilarious.
04:04Whenever he starts ranting, I record him and it like always goes viral.
04:08You have a much healthier way of coping with him than I did.
04:10I gave myself bangs like five times.
04:12Oh, my God.
04:13I'm so sorry.
04:15I wanted Perry to know just how well I was filling his shoes.
04:18So, the key to teaching my interns has been my radical approachability.
04:23First of all, there are no dumb questions.
04:25I see.
04:26So, just dumb statements like that one?
04:28I'm going to ignore that.
04:29Second, I never wear my white coat.
04:31I feel like when I dress like an intern, it says,
04:33I'm just like you guys, a superhero without a cape.
04:37Well, you're going to want to swoop down out of the sky and help your equal over there find whatever
04:41it is he's looking for in the medical waste bin.
04:44Fleming, I have told you before, if your Invisalign is in there, it is gone for good.
04:49Now get!
04:50Get, get!
04:52Stupid Fleming and his underbite.
04:53Where are all the interns I told to come and say nice things about me?
04:56Dr. Dorian, once again, your brilliant teaching has saved a life.
04:59Go on.
04:59My patient was cleared for discharge, but something fell off, so I ran some blood cultures and he's septic.
05:04If you hadn't reviewed the signs with us this week, I wouldn't have caught it.
05:08And there it was.
05:09The facial contortion Dr. Cox made when he was struggling to choke down a compliment.
05:15To you, sir.
05:16I could kiss you.
05:17Dr. Dorian, I get that the British thing is a huge turn on.
05:20It makes him seem both exotic and safe.
05:23But you cannot kiss him.
05:25No, it's just a figure of speech.
05:26I meant that I wasn't trying to kiss him.
05:27No, I wasn't trying to kiss him either, but here we are.
05:30May I be excused?
05:30Yes, please, go.
05:31Go to your room.
05:33Thanks to the good news with Asher's patient, the odds were starting to tip in our favor.
05:37And I had to give it to Park.
05:39He was on top of it with Blake's patient.
05:41I've been sick for three weeks.
05:43I'm burning up.
05:44I feel like death.
05:45Can I get some antibiotics?
05:46Here's what antibiotics will do for your viral infection.
05:49Nothing.
05:52Nice meeting you.
05:54Oh, if you're leaving a comment card, his name's Dr. Park.
05:58But he is right about the antibiotics.
06:01Fine.
06:01But if he's wrong, I'm gonna sue both of you.
06:04Cool.
06:08Chris's infection was caught early and we expect him to respond well to treatment.
06:12I'm just waiting on one more test.
06:13Thank you so much, doctor.
06:15You guys can go in.
06:17Hi, Daddy.
06:19I love that little voice you do when you're talking to families.
06:22Well, I'm just doing all that I can for them.
06:24Let's go to the supply closet right now.
06:26Okay.
06:27I love supplies.
06:28Here's the results for your sepsis patient.
06:29You're not gonna like this.
06:31The CT shows he has a deep neck abscess.
06:34I think he might need surgery.
06:39What's all that whispering about?
06:40I knew what I hoped it was.
06:42I was reluctant to say anything until it went through,
06:44but I submitted me and J.D. for the amazing race.
06:47Do you think you could cover for him for a month?
06:48Well, only the father of medicine could cover for that man.
06:51And he's fine, too.
06:53Gorgeous.
06:56When are you gonna stop needing his approval?
06:58I don't know, Turk.
06:58When are you gonna stop loving Carla?
07:00J.D., that is not an appropriate comparison.
07:03The thing I don't get is, if Cox is just here for dinner,
07:05why is he hanging around the hospital all day?
07:07Do you think he's getting intel about my work as a chief?
07:09Who cares?
07:10Everybody thinks you're doing a great job.
07:11Just keep singing that psych-up song
07:13you sing in your office every morning.
07:14Oh, I didn't know you could hear that.
07:15But I don't care.
07:16Because, baby, I am a firework.
07:23Dr. Reed, I bolus the hypertonic saline solution for Tina.
07:27Wait, you did what?
07:34Oh, my God.
07:37You can't bolus hypertonic saline.
07:39You have to calculate the sodium deficit.
07:40Get me a nurse.
07:41Tell them to bring DBAVP and D5W.
07:43I didn't know.
07:44Will she be okay?
07:45I don't know, Dr. Tosh.
07:46Move out of the way.
07:48Just get out of the room.
07:50Notify neurology.
07:51Hey, did you see Danny's chest x-ray?
07:53Let me guess.
07:54Inconclusive with possible opacity.
07:56We should give him the antibiotics.
07:58It could be a viral pneumonia with bacterial superinfection.
08:00What it is, is a radiologist covering their ass.
08:03If they say it's inconclusive, then they're not responsible in the .0001% chance that it is pneumonia.
08:10Yeah, but we're on the hook if it is.
08:12Are you really letting your patient dictate how you treat him?
08:14You have the vibe of a dom top, but you doctor like a sub-bottom.
08:18I bartended at a gay bar, so I know what that means.
08:21And if being a sub-bottom means not getting sued or worse, then give it to me, Daddy.
08:29How's my patient?
08:30We have to see how he does after he gets out of recovery.
08:32I don't understand.
08:33I did everything right.
08:34I caught the infection early, but he still got worse.
08:38Kid, you gotta figure out a way to cope with stress.
08:41You know what?
08:43I have a method I use that could help.
08:45Follow me.
08:47Alright, the rules of the game are simple.
08:49You must jump off the physical therapy trampoline, and then shoot the mannequin's head into the bin.
08:53Got it?
08:54I don't think I can hit that.
08:55Maybe, maybe not.
08:56But when my daughter was in NICU, all I could do was wait, and this saved my life.
09:01Pro tip, elbows in, fingertips on the eyelids.
09:04Let's go.
09:05You can do it.
09:13Even if she lives, she could have neurologic deficit or be in a coma.
09:16Tosh, you can't beat yourself up.
09:18If I kill someone?
09:19Well, when you put her like that, I...
09:20But none of that has happened.
09:22Hopefully, she'll be okay.
09:24Moments like this live with interns forever.
09:27When a patient is a victim of a mistake, doctors are the second victim.
09:31Tosh, I know all your duelling is worrying about that patient, but it's my job to worry about you.
09:35I want you to go see a counselor right now.
09:40Honestly, the only positive right now is that my mentor wasn't here to see everything fall apart.
09:47I knew white guys were bad at this, but British white guys are the worst.
09:50I can't stand this waiting. There has to be something else we can do for the patient.
09:54Kid, there isn't. We both did everything we could, so now's the time to let it go or leave it
09:58with God or the universe or whatever it is you believe in.
10:01Well, that's never worked for me.
10:02But okay. I believe if you make that basket, our patient will be okay.
10:06I don't like putting that type of pressure on myself.
10:09I mean, we're doing this to take our minds off of it, but uh...
10:13Okay, come on. Let me show you how it's done.
10:15You ready for this? Here we go.
10:17Oh, yes.
10:20Big shot!
10:21I told you! See?
10:23I don't believe in bald on bald violence, but you've given me no choice.
10:29Run! Watch out! He's mad!
10:35That's the thing about this place.
10:38Sometimes all you can do is let go and hope things work out.
10:44I have some good news.
10:46Tina's stable. She's gonna be alright.
10:49Oh, thank God.
10:50You made a huge mistake and you got really lucky.
10:53And hopefully you never have to get this lucky again.
10:59Chris is alert and doing well.
11:02Last shot, Dr. Turk.
11:07Mrs. Johnson, I have some good news.
11:11The good news is I was right and you were wrong.
11:15Danny's fever broke without antibiotics.
11:17I'm pretty sure the good news is that Danny's okay.
11:21Listen, I know you blame yourself for that woman who died in the parking lot.
11:26But doctoring scared will never be what's best for your patients.
11:30And by the way, I knew you bartended at night gliders.
11:33I recognized you the minute you stepped foot in here.
11:35Yeah? Well, I remember you too.
11:37You were the only guy who didn't tip.
11:39Yeah, well, you were the only bartender who wouldn't sleep with me.
11:43Congratulations.
11:44We had three very sick patients and they're all gonna be okay.
11:48We beat the odds.
11:49So enjoy it around here that doesn't happen all that often.
11:53Oh, Dr. Cox. I didn't see you over there.
11:56Do you want to give one of your famous I believed in you the whole time speeches?
12:01No, I...
12:03Oh my God.
12:04Dr. Cox!
12:05Get out of the way! Move! Move!
12:10It doesn't matter how many people you save.
12:13When one of your own falls, it hits deep.
12:16Why didn't you come to me if you haven't been feeling well?
12:19Because I knew you'd turn this into some overwrought emo crybaby feelings fest.
12:23Hell, I can practically hear the indie moat music playing in your head right now.
12:29I'm just saying I can't believe you went with Dr. Park over me.
12:32Ah, well, he probably knew you'd turn this into some sort of overwrought emo crybaby.
12:36Already said.
12:37Oh.
12:37Well, the good news is your scans and tumor markers came back negative, so it's not cancer.
12:42Thank God.
12:43You're still waiting on your set rates ANCA and CRP.
12:45We'll know more later this afternoon.
12:47Thank you, Dr. Park.
12:48I'd like to take over Perry's care from here.
12:50Not happening there, Dr. Nurse Jackie.
12:52Come on.
12:52You can barely hold it together with patients coming in off this street.
12:56How are you going to be objective with me?
12:57And besides, look at yourself.
12:59You're already emotional and you haven't done anything yet.
13:01Not true.
13:01I updated your weight.
13:03Congrats on keeping it tight.
13:04J.D., we both know if you had to walk into this room and tell me that I was dying,
13:09it would break you.
13:10No, it would break me if you didn't give me the opportunity to help you by doing everything that you
13:15trained me to do.
13:17Still not happening.
13:17Besides, there's no training for the maniacal patient I plan on being.
13:21Cujo, Old Yeller, pick your rabid dog, and I'm gonna best him.
13:25Now, I will be removing my own IV because your nurses gave me regular saline instead of D5W.
13:34Oh, my God.
13:35I think he's actually tearing up because you mentioned Old Yeller.
13:37I'm not tearing up.
13:38I'm not a child.
13:40I don't need to be protected, okay?
13:41And if you want someone who's gonna take you behind the shed and shoot you, go with this idiot.
13:49Dr. Tosh, full disclosure, outside of this room, Dr. Reed and I have been enjoying a blossoming female friendship.
13:55But in here, she's simply participant A and you're participant B.
14:00Participant A, you have the floor.
14:01I know this morning was really traumatic and I'm just really glad that you're talking about it.
14:07That was very nice, participant A.
14:10Participant B, would you like to read aloud your formal complaint against Dr. Reed?
14:14What?
14:14You told me to raise the sodium on our patient but didn't guide me on how to do it.
14:18Yeah, because you should already know how to do that.
14:20She told me to get out of the room.
14:21You almost killed someone.
14:23Okay, you can't say that.
14:24She screwed up.
14:26You can't say that either.
14:28You made me feel terrible.
14:29It just makes me want to quit.
14:31I'm trying to teach you.
14:33What am I allowed to say?
14:34We'll be covering that in your mandatory bi-weekly seminar.
14:37Oh, this is so stupid.
14:41Friendship Sibi here, I hear you and we will bitch about this later.
14:46Business Sibi, you can't say that.
14:52Come on.
14:53You are not a doctor in this hospital.
14:55You cannot change your own medication.
14:57This is, in fact, the same level of pain meds you'd give to a woman having a C-section,
15:01but since my doula and I have already discussed having a natural childbirth,
15:05we're going to be lowering the dose.
15:07Or I'm going to take this America's Best number one pudding and decorate your wall with it.
15:13You can have this hot mess.
15:15He's all yours.
15:17I see you've extended your reign of terror to the staff.
15:20I gave him something to talk to his friends about around the hospital.
15:24You know, I've actually come to appreciate your teaching style.
15:27I mean, not all of it.
15:28I did not think it was necessary to call me a prostitute who caters exclusively to clowns.
15:32I still wish we'd laugh at the car sometimes.
15:37And for what it's worth, I was too harsh with you.
15:42Sometimes I sit up at night thinking I actually could have driven you out of this place.
15:45And if I had, it would have been my biggest failure and my greatest regret.
15:52I appreciate that.
15:55God let me be.
15:56Will you have some decorating I need to attend to?
15:58Oh, please let him. I'm going to rub his nose in it like a nasty dog.
16:04You know, I've never actually had to sleep in one of these things.
16:06But I am not leaving your side until we get your results.
16:11C.D., would you, uh...
16:14Would you pray with me?
16:17Wow. First curveball.
16:19Of course.
16:22Cox was never religious, but when you're facing your own mortality, you'll try anything.
16:27Dear God, or...
16:29Who's ever up there, I know...
16:32I haven't exactly turned to you pretty much ever, but...
16:36I need you now.
16:37So please, Lord, let that chair fold in on J.D. and quietly suffocate him so that...
16:42I might have a few moments of peace, if these are in fact my last few moments.
16:46Thanks, God.
16:47Go ahead. Make your jokes.
16:49But I know you're scared.
16:51For once, just let me be there for you.
16:55And there it was.
16:56His test results.
16:58I knew how I wanted this to play out.
17:02Congratulations!
17:03You're the one millionth person to click on test results.
17:06You've won $10,000 and a brand new jet ski!
17:11Oh no, not you, Scram!
17:12J.D., come on, amigo!
17:14Yes!
17:15To the lake!
17:18But that's not how these things go.
17:21Go ahead.
17:22We don't sugarcoat it.
17:25Because I understand what everything means on there.
17:35Dr. Tosh, you got a second?
17:43You said that I made you feel like quitting.
17:46I hope you're a real failure on my part if you did.
17:49But I would also be failing as a teacher if I didn't hold you accountable for your mistakes.
17:56I know I messed up.
17:59I was just afraid it meant I wasn't good enough to be here, so I blamed you.
18:03And I'm really sorry.
18:05Come here.
18:06Come here.
18:08It's okay.
18:11You know, you come across a lot more confident.
18:13That's just a part of my brand.
18:17There are many things we fool ourselves into thinking we have control over.
18:21If I make this Cox, it's going to be okay.
18:23He's going to be okay, Cox.
18:24Okay, come on.
18:28That's it.
18:28I'm going to rip your head off and do this with it.
18:30Hey, that counts.
18:33That counts!
18:34But the truth is we can never predict what's in store for us.
18:37Just give me a hug, man!
18:38You saved my man!
18:39All we can do is be there for each other when the odds are against us.
18:47It isn't great.
18:49But it could be worse.
18:51Worse than my own body attacking itself?
18:54It's an autoimmune disease, for God's sake.
18:56There's no cure for this.
18:58It's a matter of managing the crisis that can be thrown my way in the bottom of the ninth.
19:02Perry, you know this disease has a high survival rate, especially since we caught it early.
19:06We're in the beginning stages of renal failure, J.D.
19:09Yeah, but you can slow all that down.
19:11With aggressive treatment and an immunosuppressants,
19:14microscopic polyangitis can easily go into remission.
19:18Did you really think that this couldn't happen?
19:22That just because we're out there taking care of all of them,
19:25it would get some kind of karmic immunity to protect us from what's coming for us all?
19:34Yes.
19:39Will you promise me that you'll keep me alive for a very long time?
19:45Because I don't want my death to be the thing that makes you cynical.
19:49I promise that.
19:50I'll be finished.
19:52Because I won't be around here to enjoy it.
19:56And even death, I couldn't bear the irony.
20:01All I can hear is that you're going to let me be your doctor.
20:03I'm already tingling from the prospect of our sponge bath there, Agatha.
20:09I tried to protect you from this.
20:14Everything I had.
20:19But I am so scared.
20:25I have a plan.
20:27And I don't care if you don't like it.
20:30It is the best path forward.
20:33Turk had asked me when I'd stop needing Dr. Cox's approval.
20:37Okay.
20:38It was now.
20:40Because now, and I got you,
20:43he needed me.
20:49Isn't it funny?
20:50Doing everyday things somewhere else
20:53doesn't really feel everyday at all.
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21:11Apply to earn up to $1,800 in value for a limited time.
21:16CIBC.
21:17Ambitions made real.
21:19Listen up, failures.
21:21Watch it, watch it.
21:22To whomever had the cojones to stuff their greedy face hole
21:26with the sandwich I had so far,
21:27nearly labeled with my name,
21:30I hope you enjoyed it,
21:31because I will be slicing you open, extracting it,
21:34and feeding it to you once again.
21:35But this time, it won't be orally.
21:38Mmm, gone.
21:40Look how many views you have.
21:41It's gone totally viral.
21:43All these DJs are remixing it.
21:44People just love it.
21:48Bring her to me.
21:51Bye-bye.
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