- 8 minutes ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:09Tonight, join Kitty Flanagan, Chris Parker, Denise Scott, Ed Gavily and Sam Pang as we
00:17look back on the week and ask, have you been paying attention?
00:22And now, the man with the answers, Tom Greisner.
00:28Good evening, it's been a great to have your company for this, our final episode of 2025.
00:34We've dragged five of our all-time favourites back in, plus we're joined by international
00:38guest quiz master, Rosie O'Donnell.
00:42All right, let's meet our team, lighting up the screen with a new season of Mother and
00:47Son.
00:47It's the always delightful Denise Scott, still touring with his hit show Stop Being So Dramatic,
00:55so pleased to welcome back the wonderful Chris Parker, about to head off on a brand new
01:02tour of her own, the amazing Kitty Flanagan, host of the hit podcast, you're not going
01:10to like this.
01:10It's the ever-informed Ed Cavalli.
01:12Hi, Ed.
01:13Hi, everybody.
01:14And finally, back with his own Tonight Show next week, one last chance for him to enjoy
01:20a proper audience.
01:22It's Mr Sam Pang.
01:23Thank you, Tom.
01:27Hey, congratulations, Denise.
01:28You're going back and doing stand-up, a tour for the first time in 10 years.
01:33Yes, yes, that's right.
01:35It's called Tickety Boo.
01:36What can audiences expect from the show?
01:38Oh, well, I think that's pretty obvious from the poster.
01:41Yes?
01:42It's a gut guy.
01:44Well, no, the background.
01:45Come on.
01:46Everybody, you know.
01:48No?
01:48It's William Morris who created wallpaper designs in the 1850s.
01:54Am I selling any tickets?
01:56It sounds good.
01:57It's true.
01:58Well, I wanted something different, something unique.
02:01And no, it's because I've become addicted to colouring in books.
02:06And what about that, hey?
02:09Now we're talking.
02:10And no, adult colouring in books.
02:14Oh, of course.
02:15No, not sexual.
02:18No.
02:19Anyway, it's about a lot of things, but I try not to say the word cancer.
02:25Oh, I see.
02:26Because you see?
02:27Nothing.
02:28No, I get it.
02:28You see?
02:28Nothing.
02:30That'll shut an audience down quicker than wallpaper.
02:34Hey, welcome there, Chris.
02:35Great to have you with us again.
02:36Thank you for having me.
02:37And we saw this.
02:37It's a lovely.
02:39Hello.
02:40And we haven't done anything.
02:42We saw this lovely photo of you and Margot.
02:45Yeah, that's my adopted doctor.
02:46I got her, like, a day before I did my first appearance on the show here.
02:50And she is still ruining my life.
02:51Okay.
02:52You're still together?
02:53Yeah, we are still together.
02:55You can't give her back once you put her on TV.
02:57Okay.
02:57She seems a very important part of your life.
03:00I know, actually, and being away from her, I feel a little bit, like, guilty, I guess.
03:05And I miss her.
03:06So I have started up a craft activity.
03:10Yeah.
03:10Felting.
03:11Needle felting.
03:12Which, I think, like, Denise might get it.
03:17What is that?
03:18When you stab wool and then you can create little sculptures.
03:21So I made this version of Margot, so she's always with me.
03:24Oh, my God.
03:27She has two days.
03:29I think the likeness is not too far off.
03:32I feel like you made that from my hair.
03:35It's made from Margot's hair.
03:37Indeed.
03:37Well, she seems a very well-loved dog and, like, no expense spared.
03:41Yeah, we have spent, like, should I just be candid?
03:44Don't judge me.
03:45$6,000 on her training.
03:48Training?
03:48So she's spent...
03:49Training to do what?
03:50Can she fly a plane?
03:51Fire a rifle?
03:53No, but she now can be left alone for five minutes.
03:56Right.
04:00And you've got some special, like, activities to keep her amused around the house?
04:04Well, she watches me felt.
04:05Yes, yeah.
04:05Fun, yes, yeah.
04:06I actually thought I might get a bit of flack for the felting.
04:09And I thought, actually, well, it's kind of embarrassing.
04:11No.
04:11Um, and just as a way to sort of, I don't know, like, warm myself up to Australia with
04:16my felting, I've also created, um...
04:19This is unbelievable.
04:20...a little, um, tom for you.
04:24Tom is beautiful.
04:28I would say it does look like Putin hosting.
04:32Have you noticed?
04:34It does?
04:35And then you go, Sam, that's a voodoo doll for you.
04:39I already like this more than you.
04:41Thank you, Sam.
04:43It's lovely.
04:43Now, Chitty, you've also announced a new tour.
04:47I have, and I'm a little concerned now because mine is about wallpaper and cancer.
04:54It's all the dough.
04:55There could be a clash.
04:57It's, um, Glad Game?
04:59Look at that.
04:59Yeah.
05:00No Opera House, but you are kicking off in Wangaratta, so that's, um...
05:04LAUGHTER
05:04You know, you always do the regionals.
05:06Uh, regions for the end of the year, and then, uh, capital cities, uh, next year.
05:12Yeah.
05:12I'm finally allowed to go to the capital city.
05:14Fantastic.
05:15Good luck with the tour.
05:18All right, for one last time, hands-on buzzers.
05:21Well, the Prime Minister had an exciting update.
05:24More young Australians will be able to get the keys to their first...
05:28The keys to their first...
05:29What?
05:30Chris.
05:31Chasity Belt.
05:31Is, uh...
05:32No one got here.
05:34Uh, Denise.
05:36Diary.
05:37Is...
05:37You know, the little girl's diary.
05:39Diary.
05:40Lovely.
05:40Not a diary.
05:41I love it.
05:42Bigger purchase than that.
05:44Chris.
05:44Home.
05:45Indeed.
05:45It says he's 5%, uh, deposit on housing loans.
05:48Would that apply to investment properties?
05:50Oh, sorry.
05:52Worth asking.
05:53Worth asking.
05:55Strong words from Barnaby Joyce.
05:57This is the greatest con job of our time.
06:00What is the greatest con job of our time?
06:03Sam.
06:03Oh, well, is it monogamy?
06:05Is...
06:06Oh, my God.
06:07Denise.
06:08Um, well, I don't know, but I was doing a little gig in a regional town a few weeks ago,
06:14and this woman, um, said, would you like me to get you something, volunteer, and I said,
06:19yes, a glass of wine.
06:21She came back and said, just letting you know, your glass of wine is coming, but I can't bring
06:25it to you because I haven't got an RSA, a responsible service, an alcohol licence, and that is bullshit.
06:35I just think, absolute, like, she was a volunteer to say, I'm 70, I've got cancer.
06:43I get it.
06:44Like, jeez.
06:45I get it.
06:46I get it.
06:46Sam.
06:47I get it.
06:48Is that entire answer on the card?
06:51No.
06:51Check all the cards.
06:53Ah, yes, Sam.
06:54Renewable energy.
06:55Yes, yes, solar and stuff like that.
06:57Ed, point to yours.
06:58Oh, look who's back.
07:00Why was mushroom murderer Erin Patterson in the news again?
07:04Chris.
07:05Masterchef judge.
07:06You went up on the short list, but no, no.
07:10Well, uh, Kitty.
07:11Has she got a new light and easy range?
07:13No.
07:14Why was Erin back in our news?
07:16Sam.
07:17She's appealing.
07:18Yeah, she's appealing her conviction.
07:19No, no, no.
07:20She's quite appealing.
07:23I don't speak to that, but I will give you the first part, Sam, appealing her sentence.
07:29Hey, this was headline news.
07:30No more beardos, no more fatties.
07:33What am I talking about?
07:35Chris.
07:36It's another day on Grindr.
07:37It's, uh, is that right?
07:39Hey, you're off the beardos.
07:40Denise.
07:41Um, it's my book club.
07:44Is it?
07:45Um, it's like they don't lift their game.
07:47Yeah, well, they have said, but what, uh, Kitty?
07:50Uh, Bikies getting a glow up.
07:51That's, uh, that would limit biking memberships.
07:54Ed.
07:54No, please, Denise.
07:55Please.
07:56Oh, Denise, what's, what's being talked about?
07:57Is it the, you can't join the army or something?
08:02That's the bit I'm chasing.
08:03New standards for the military set by U.S.
08:05Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.
08:07And if you don't believe us, take a look.
08:09The era of unprofessional appearance is over.
08:11Wow.
08:12No more beardos.
08:14Wow.
08:14No more beardos.
08:14Well, facial hair has been linked to autism, so they're obviously drilling down there.
08:20Uh, Denise, points are yours.
08:21Interesting statement from President Trump.
08:23I'd call it the N-word.
08:25There are two N-words and you can't use either of them.
08:28Okay, we, what N-word is, uh, he talking about?
08:32Kitty.
08:33Is it Nangs?
08:36Not the N-word, no, he's, uh, Denise.
08:38Right.
08:39Namaste?
08:40Is, I think that's the variation level.
08:42It's very much appropriate, so I wouldn't say it.
08:45Uh, Sam, this is a trick question.
08:47And he, he's saying you can't say either of them.
08:49So if he can't say them, why would we say them?
08:53You can say the one he's thinking about.
08:55It's, uh, it's relating to the...
09:00That'd be nipples.
09:01It would not be nipples.
09:03I think, uh, the, the might and power of the U.S. Army because they've got Sam.
09:09Nuclear?
09:09That is it.
09:10That's it, that's it.
09:11Oh, I can't say that one.
09:12What was that?
09:12What's the other one?
09:13Knowledge, I think.
09:16Hey, intriguing moment in Rome.
09:20What's Pope Leo doing there?
09:23Chris?
09:24They've installed an ice bath at the Vatican.
09:26That does look very interesting.
09:27Uh, what's the backstory of that kitty?
09:29Is he blessing what's left of the North Pole?
09:33You are, you pretty much got it there, Denise.
09:36He's trying some ice.
09:38Okay.
09:39The kitty's closest to the pin at this point.
09:42Oh, points for me.
09:42He's obviously talking about the, the very important issue of blessing polar ice for, like, climate change.
09:50As part, as part, as part, to draw, yes, Sam.
09:52Do you think that's the best use of his time?
09:54Well, maybe, maybe he's trying to turn it into wine.
09:58I don't know.
09:59Anyway, I think it might happen.
10:01We've got to take a break.
10:02Back with more.
10:02Have you been...
10:03Oh, no.
10:18Today is a big day.
10:20First home buyers hoping to crack the property market.
10:22Get the keys to their first home quicker.
10:25That sounds good.
10:25It's not all good news.
10:26We have a supply issue.
10:28Enormous levels of debt.
10:29By the time this bulletin ends...
10:30House prices...
10:31Will increase...
10:32$17 trillion.
10:33That's a bit of a bummer.
10:34Meanwhile, President...
10:35Trump...
10:35And his Secretary of Defence...
10:37Vowed to end...
10:37Facial hair.
10:38No more beardos.
10:43We're back watching Have You Been Payne?
10:44This is just before we return to questions.
10:47Sam, season two of your Tonight Show starts next Monday at this time.
10:55What can you tell us about season two?
10:56Well, there'll be no beardos of fatties, I'll tell you that.
11:00Good, good.
11:01I don't even know what that means.
11:02Tell you what, you look happy about it in the photograph.
11:07Unlike you, Ed, I don't enjoy photo shoots.
11:09It does look like Ten's holding you hostage.
11:12What about stunts?
11:13What about some stunts?
11:14Is anyone getting married at first sight or a Love Island or a dog doing a trick?
11:18What have we got?
11:19Yeah, no, but I'll be...
11:20There's eight weeks and I'll be doing each show in a different accent.
11:24Wow!
11:25First up, Japanese.
11:26All right.
11:28Let's hear a bit.
11:29Thank you for that, Sam.
11:30All right, hands back on buzzers.
11:32Meet Chunk.
11:34What prestigious title has he just won?
11:37Kitty.
11:38He's the first bear to get fat-shamed.
11:41I think Kitty's because he's just won Alaska's...
11:46Oh, Denise.
11:47Bear of the year or something.
11:49Does have the word...
11:52Fat, hairy, beard-o, fatty.
11:55Bear of the year.
11:56Bear of the year, thank you.
11:58I heard the words fat and bear and you'd probably be thinking weak, wouldn't you?
12:02So, fat bear weak?
12:04No, I wasn't thinking of it.
12:06But I was.
12:07You was.
12:09Yes, Chris.
12:10My community actually have a similar award that we give out.
12:12Is that right?
12:13He means New Zealanders.
12:16Denise, I will give you the points.
12:18It's Alaska's fat bear weak.
12:20It's the latest TikTok phenomenon.
12:22Have you ever heard of a swag gap?
12:25Swag gap.
12:26Swag gap.
12:27Swag gap.
12:28What is a swag gap?
12:33Denise.
12:33Is it when you forget the words of waltzing material...
12:39Like, waltzing jolly...
12:42Yes, something...
12:44Not...
12:45No.
12:46That's a great answer.
12:47That is...
12:48It's the kids are using this, don't they?
12:50So, it's when you...
12:51Your partner has a lot less money and looks and possessions than you do.
12:58Indeed.
12:59One partner.
12:59Cool.
13:00I'll walk a cake.
13:01I'll walk a cake.
13:05All right, we're moving on.
13:06Meet Sarah Mullally.
13:08She's the first ever woman to hold what position?
13:11Denise.
13:12Is she replacing Dawn French on the Vicar of Dictionary?
13:16Sure.
13:18Well, Vicar...
13:20Vicar's not a million miles away, as you can tell from the clue.
13:23Ed.
13:24Oh, missionary.
13:28There might have been a few before her.
13:30Sam.
13:31I'd like to just point out that Ed was quite disrespectful to the new Archbishop of Canterbury.
13:35That is the bit I'm chasing.
13:37Yeah.
13:37Leader of the Church of England.
13:38Well, they will give it to anyone these days.
13:40Sam, point's yours.
13:41All right.
13:42Time to roll out the red carpet.
13:49And tonight's showbiz segment is brought to you by the new Mitsubishi Outlander.
13:53It's a bit rock and roll.
13:55Oh, it's out.
13:56Wow.
13:58Yes, sir.
13:59Oh, this was shocking.
14:01Nicole Kidman filed for divorce from Keith Urban, citing what reason?
14:06Chris.
14:07Swag gap.
14:09That big one there.
14:11Big swagger.
14:14Anyone know the red...
14:16It'd be the old irreconcilable differences.
14:19That is exactly...
14:20That's exactly what it was.
14:21You know, I mean, look at their hair.
14:25Denise, that's exactly what was listed.
14:27Irreconcilable difference.
14:28I mean, she's quite good at music and he's, you know...
14:31That's right.
14:33That's fine.
14:34Denise, point's are yours.
14:35Oh, big week for Robert Irwin on Dancing with the Stars.
14:42Stop her there and ask you what happens next.
14:45Kitty.
14:45She's spinning pretty fast.
14:47Do her pants fall off?
14:49She's safe.
14:51Not to her.
14:52What happens...
14:52What does Robert do for us?
14:54Denise?
14:55Well, there was a spike in people going to emergency with heart attacks.
15:01Is that...
15:01Because of what Robert did.
15:03And that what?
15:04Well, I thought it was more interesting to go the long way around.
15:09He sped.
15:11He took off his shirt.
15:12Whoa.
15:12Denise might have the points.
15:14Take a look.
15:16Oh, yeah.
15:18Whoa, hey, hey.
15:20That protein powder you gave him the other week.
15:22It's not bad.
15:23It's really starting to work.
15:25He hosted this show once, Tom, remember?
15:26He stood right where I am and did a pretty good job.
15:32You're quite different, you, aren't you?
15:36Well, I believe we have a special video quiz master standing by.
15:39Hi, Tom.
15:40Hi, everyone.
15:41It's Greta Lee here from the film Tron Aries,
15:45which features new original music from what band?
15:49Ooh, Tron Aries features new original music from what band?
15:53Chris.
15:53The Wiggles is...
15:55What else have we got here?
15:57Denise?
15:57Would it be the Mildura Brass Band?
16:01I saw them recently.
16:03Did you hear that?
16:04They're amazing.
16:05Are they in good form?
16:06And they were, in fact, fully booked out the motel where I was staying.
16:10And when I came in, they said, are you with the band?
16:13Wow.
16:14What did you say?
16:15What did you say?
16:15I said, do I look like a tuba player?
16:19They are.
16:20They're great.
16:20They're great.
16:21I'm sure...
16:21That's how we laugh.
16:23That's how we laugh.
16:24We can rule out the Mildura Brass Band.
16:26What's the band featured in the Tron movie?
16:29Sam.
16:30I think it's...
16:31Sorry.
16:33I think it's Nine Inch Nails.
16:34Ooh, let's ask Greta if that's right.
16:37And the answer is Nine Inch Nails.
16:39Sam points to us.
16:40Ooh, what's next?
16:41Hey, guys, it's me.
16:43What were all these folks lining up for on Friday afternoon?
16:47Uh, Denise.
16:49Well, you're there, so I'd say the free shingles.
16:53Is...
16:54Vaccinated.
16:55It's important you get it.
16:56It's important you get it.
16:58Thanks for the reminder, Denise.
17:00I was watching on.
17:02I wasn't there, Kitty.
17:02Watching on.
17:03Oh, there's a...
17:04Trying to cross the street.
17:05Watching on.
17:07Kitty, what were they lining up for at 3 o'clock on Friday?
17:09I think the Mildura Brass Band is on tour.
17:13Well, it's music, Denise.
17:15It has to be to do with Taylor Swift.
17:17There you go.
17:18You mean, would you say the launch of a new album?
17:20I would definitely say that.
17:22It's weird.
17:22It's like you're reading my mind.
17:25Denise, let's ask me if that's correct.
17:27Not me.
17:28That's right.
17:28It was the Taylor Swift listening party.
17:32I feel showgirl.
17:33There you go.
17:34Denise, point to yours.
17:35Ooh, there was a huge moment on The Bold and the Beautiful this week.
17:38You knew that you were making love to me.
17:40We all thought you were dead.
17:42You're going back to prison for the rest of your life.
17:44Stop.
17:45Oh, my God.
17:48What just fell out of Luna's purse?
17:51Kitty.
17:53Sorry, I just need to clarify a few things.
17:55First of all, when we say purse, are we talking about...
17:58No, no, we're not talking about...
18:04What fell out of Luna's purse, Sam?
18:06Anthrax.
18:08Is...
18:08No, not...
18:09I watched this.
18:12It was a positive pregnancy test, Tommy.
18:16I mean...
18:18Sorry, I have another clarification because the man said,
18:22we all thought you were dead.
18:25How many of them were having sex with her?
18:28The first one said...
18:29Why were they having sex with her when she was dead?
18:31The first one said, you knew you were making love to me.
18:35If I had a dollar...
18:37We're getting bogged down.
18:40Ed, do you say a positive pregnancy test?
18:44Take a look.
18:46I'm pregnant.
18:47And I've got to say, the cast's reactions were next level.
19:01If you're gone forever.
19:02We've got to take a break.
19:04Back with our...
19:18We're back for watching.
19:20How have you been paying attention?
19:21And it's time to meet our special guest, Bizmaster.
19:23And what a way to finish off the year.
19:25She's a multi-Emmy award-winning actor, comedian, writer,
19:28and one of the most recognisable voices in entertainment.
19:32Please welcome Rosie O'Donnell.
19:37Hi, Tom.
19:39How are you?
19:41Welcome to the show.
19:42Welcome to Australia.
19:43Are you first time?
19:43Yes, and this is my first day.
19:45Oh, wow.
19:46We just arrived last night.
19:48Exactly.
19:49We heard you had some concerns
19:51about getting through customs and immigration.
19:54Yes, because I watched that show, Nothing to Declare.
19:56Which we call border security.
19:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:59Did they give you any trouble?
20:01They gave me no trouble, but I've watched the show.
20:03Yeah.
20:03Like an old man has a cherry
20:05and they treat him like he's Julian Assange.
20:07Yeah, that's pretty much it.
20:08They throw him to the ground.
20:10They strip search him.
20:11They don't.
20:11I'm like, what if I'm a smuggler and I don't realise it?
20:14Maybe I have smuggler dementia.
20:16It could happen.
20:17You know, so when I walked in,
20:19I was like, oh my God, here it comes.
20:21Here it comes.
20:22And they said, right through.
20:24Right.
20:25And thank goodness for that.
20:27Now, let's go back a few years.
20:29You're in a feature film, League of Their Own,
20:31with Madonna, Gina Davis, Tom Hanks.
20:33Not a bad life.
20:34Not a bad life.
20:35And for those who might not remember.
20:39Those people are jerks.
20:40What do you mean some of us?
20:41Do it.
20:43Bang.
20:43Good arm.
20:44Just like that.
20:47Okay, some of them are going home.
20:48How'd you do that?
20:50Did you have to audition by showing them you could throw a baseball?
20:54We did.
20:54We had to go play baseball first.
20:56And my agent called and said,
20:57can you really play baseball?
20:59I said, if there's one thing I can do better than Julia Roberts.
21:02It's play baseball.
21:05And then you saw them all at the batting cage,
21:08like Julianne Moore, Julia Roberts, Sandy Bullock.
21:11Everybody was there.
21:12And Julia saw me hitting it, like, out of the park.
21:14And she came over and said, can you give me some tips, Rosie?
21:18Oh, wow, you were...
21:19And I, yeah, I was friendly.
21:20I said, you might want to hold the thin end of the bat pretty well.
21:24Good luck.
21:24Good luck out there.
21:25Good advice.
21:26Good luck, yeah.
21:27Now, by 1996, you had your own daytime talk show,
21:30the legendary Rosie O'Donnell Show.
21:32So many big names rolled through.
21:34Madonna, Barbra Streisand, Mariah Carey.
21:36And, of course, this.
21:38Oh, there he is.
21:40Whoa, whoa.
21:41Now, yeah, come on.
21:43Whoa.
21:44Oh, what the...
21:48Listen, I'm a lesbian, but I'm not dead.
21:55That's amazing.
21:56He just kisses you on the mouth when he comes out.
21:57Well, I was telling the world how much I loved him for many years,
22:02you know, and saying, please, Tommy, come on my show.
22:05Tommy, can you hear me?
22:06Wow.
22:06You know, I used to sing from the Tommy musical.
22:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:09But, you know, he is a guy that I saw in Risky Business at my local hometown movie theatre
22:16with my sister, and I thought, that is the perfect man.
22:20Now, I didn't want him in my bed.
22:22Okay.
22:22I wanted him to mow my lawn and bring me a lemonade.
22:26Sure.
22:27Perfectly, perfectly reasonable.
22:28Now, Rosie, you're here in Australia with your brand new show, Common Knowledge.
22:32Yes.
22:33What can audiences expect?
22:35Well, it's a one-woman show more than it's about stand-up.
22:37Mm-hmm.
22:38And it talks about being a mother without having a mother.
22:41My mom died when I was 10.
22:43And it talks about raising five children, including my youngest, who has autism.
22:47Okay.
22:47So, how do you become a mother if you never had a mother?
22:51Sure.
22:52And you debuted the show in Dublin.
22:54How did the Irish take to it?
22:55They loved it.
22:56Okay.
22:56The Irish were great.
22:57They stood up and cheered.
22:58I had to go out four times.
23:00The fourth time, I was like, I got nothing else.
23:04There's no encore.
23:05There's no song.
23:06I'm like that the first time I go out.
23:08I got nothing.
23:10I got nothing.
23:11Now, you've spoken about your self-imposed exile to Ireland.
23:14What is life like in Ireland?
23:16It's beautiful.
23:17It really is.
23:18It's a smaller life.
23:19It's a more familiar life, in a way.
23:23It reminds me of my life before I was famous.
23:26Okay.
23:26There's not a celebrity culture there.
23:28So, like, are you recognised in the street?
23:30Yeah, but they mostly go, hello, Rosie.
23:32We hate him, too.
23:33Can I buy you a beer?
23:38We have barely scratched the surface of your amazing career, but we do have some questions.
23:43There's five people here who are going to attempt to answer them.
23:46And I've been watching.
23:47They know what they're doing.
23:50All right.
23:51Let's dive into it.
23:52All right.
23:52Big moment for Fran Drescher on Wednesday.
23:55What is she celebrating here?
23:57Denise.
23:58That she managed to get down on the floor.
24:02She's probably thinking, how will I get back up?
24:05Getting up to it.
24:06Getting up to it.
24:06More than just being on the floor.
24:08It's a big moment.
24:09Sam.
24:09Rosie, you might know this.
24:10I guess my role on the show is to give the correct answers.
24:14That looks like a Hollywood star walk of fame type thing.
24:18Ding, ding, ding.
24:19He's got them.
24:19Yes, Sam.
24:20Have you ever worked with Fran Drescher?
24:21Many, many times.
24:22She's a good friend.
24:24Oh.
24:24What sort of...
24:25What show were you on together?
24:26The Nanny?
24:27The Nanny.
24:27I did The Nanny four times.
24:29Really?
24:29Yes.
24:30I played a cab driver in one of them.
24:32OK.
24:34Typecasting, who's to say?
24:35You know what?
24:36Sam, points are yours.
24:37Next question, please.
24:38Jimmy Kimmel revealed the moment he heard his show was suspended.
24:42Where was Jimmy?
24:44Chris.
24:44Applying for Irish citizenship.
24:47Possibly on the way to...
24:48It's going around.
24:49It's going around.
24:50It was an unusual location when he took the call.
24:53Sam.
24:53Me again.
24:54The...
24:55He was in the bathroom.
24:57Correct, sir.
24:57He was indeed.
24:58He was in the bathroom.
24:59What's yours, Sam?
25:00Next question.
25:00You know, Tom mentioned before that you'd moved to Ireland because of, you know, that guy.
25:04Yeah, yeah.
25:05It's interesting because Tom all year has said about Trump that...
25:08You've always said this, that he'd get stuff done, haven't you?
25:11It's...
25:12You...
25:13You...
25:13You said that.
25:14It's been a great show.
25:16Good night.
25:16No, no, no.
25:17Ignore him.
25:18Ignore.
25:19Ignore him.
25:20All right.
25:20Next question, please.
25:21All right.
25:21What unexpected news, everyone but Sam, did fans of The Simpsons get to hear this week?
25:29Kitty.
25:30Is Ned Flanders pansexual now?
25:32Is that going to be a shocker, Sam?
25:36Apu got deported.
25:37Is...
25:39Good one.
25:40Apu's still part of it?
25:41Anyway, Chris, help us out.
25:43Another movie, right?
25:44Correct.
25:45In 2027, 20 years after the first film, there will be a movie sequel.
25:49Chris, points are yours.
25:50There you go.
25:51Never been on The Simpsons, Rosie?
25:52Never.
25:52But they make fun of me a lot.
25:55My kids think it's a riot.
25:56Oh, listen to what they said to you today!
26:00Hey, Rosie?
26:01Yes?
26:01You know, you've made, like, your story career, like Tom said, we've only just touched the
26:05surface.
26:05Yeah.
26:05You've done everything.
26:06Movies, television.
26:07First time in Australia.
26:09Can you believe that that man right there is the host of a television show?
26:14I can.
26:15And then I've been watching, and I think he moves the show along beautifully.
26:20Thank you, Rosie.
26:21You're welcome, Tom.
26:22You're very welcome.
26:24Thank you, Sam.
26:24Wow, you're a good actress, aren't you?
26:28You're good.
26:28We'll talk more about the Trump thing at the commercial.
26:30We're still on date.
26:31Okay.
26:32Sorry, Rosie, on that same question, you've been in Australia for one day.
26:36Can you believe this man has a Tonight Show?
26:39I'm going to be there.
26:40You're on it.
26:41I'm going to be there.
26:42I can't wait.
26:43What are you going to ask me?
26:44A lot of questions.
26:46Like these, I'm going to come with 37.
26:49All right.
26:50Next question, please.
26:51All right.
26:52Jennifer Lopez opened up in a brand new interview.
26:55Take a look.
26:55I have to say, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
26:59It was the best thing that ever happened to her.
27:01What's she talking about, Kitty?
27:02Auto-tune.
27:05Well, it was a great film, I guess.
27:08That was good, though.
27:10That was good.
27:10On a more personal level.
27:12Denise.
27:13Her bottom.
27:14You know, it's so round.
27:17You'd have to love having a bottom like that.
27:20Look at your face, Rosie.
27:21Yes, I'm thinking about that button.
27:23Yes, you wouldn't have to grab it.
27:24You wouldn't.
27:25I might.
27:26Yeah.
27:27So, it's not bottom related.
27:29What's J-Lo about there?
27:31Chris?
27:31This is, like, breaking news for me.
27:33Leaving Ben Affleck, right?
27:35Divorce?
27:35Correct.
27:36Chris, you were right again.
27:38Well...
27:40Thanks, Rosie O'Donnell.
27:41You're welcome.
27:42Points are yours, Chris.
27:43We've got to take a break.
27:44You can see Rosie at the Sydney Opera House this Thursday
27:47or in Melbourne at Hamer Hall, October 19.
27:49Would you please thank Rosie?
28:04Welcome back to What's in Have You Been Paying Feature
28:07and it's time to put each of our contestants individually to the test
28:10with one of our all-time favourite challenges.
28:14Oh, yes.
28:18Over or under?
28:20Yeah.
28:23I think you know the rules.
28:25We've pulled over a driver.
28:27However, you tell us if they're safely under the legally prescribed alcohol limit
28:32or just a little bit over.
28:34Sam, let's start with you.
28:41Yes, Sam?
28:42You look like an old stripper.
28:46I think you look hot and I feel that square gap closing.
28:51Thank you both.
28:53All right, we're heading to Adelaide for your random breath test.
28:56Just come from a barbecue.
28:59How many have you had?
29:00Sorry?
29:01How many you drink?
29:03Oh, I've just finished a glass of red about 15 minutes ago.
29:08Blow through the straw and I'll tell you when to stop blowing.
29:10Hang on, just one breath.
29:11Not too hard, though.
29:12Hang on.
29:13Blow like you were blowing.
29:16Just one breath.
29:17I'll say when to stop.
29:18Hang on.
29:18You did it, bro.
29:19Blow through the straw.
29:20I'll say when to stop.
29:21Don't suck on the straw first.
29:22Oh, boo!
29:24Oh, you must have sucked.
29:25Now, try again.
29:26So, blow in the straw.
29:27I'll say I'll stop.
29:28Keep going.
29:29Keep going.
29:29Keep going.
29:30Stop.
29:32I'm 71 years old.
29:37Sam, after drinking a few reds, is 71-year-old Kingsley over or under?
29:43Well, I did enjoy the bit where he was struggling to blow.
29:46No, and as a general rule, I don't think it's a great move to get frustrated with the cops.
29:52No, that's right.
29:53A bit of the crossed arms thing going in there, yeah.
29:55But I like the tactic late where he just, he thought, I'll win this cop over by randomly
30:00yelling at my age.
30:02I like that one.
30:03So?
30:04Eight years.
30:05Cooked.
30:08Sam, let's see if you're right.
30:10No worries.
30:10With a full licence, your result is negative.
30:12Sorry, Sam, can't give you the points.
30:15Can't you say, Tom?
30:16That's very surprising.
30:19Sometimes, sometimes there are misdirects from the police.
30:23Sorry, Sam, he's under.
30:25Hey, Denise.
30:26Yes?
30:26The sirens have been turned on for your stopped motorist.
30:3078-year-old Sergio has had a night he'd rather forget.
30:34Well, we just got from the party and had enough bloody trouble there.
30:38We had the beauty put on that bloody layout and the people there,
30:42just bloody bloody air.
30:43Have you had anything to drink tonight, sir?
30:45A couple of glasses, a beer.
30:47Uh-huh.
30:48And I think a little bit of vodka.
30:51Water from Europe.
30:53One breath until I say stop.
30:54The breathalyser should clear the air.
30:57Oh, my God, I'm not drunk.
30:59And I went to the flash in a bloody bullshit.
31:04Now, Denise, Sergio, he's a bit tired and emotional.
31:07So, has some beer and a little bit of vodka imported from Europe
31:12put him over or under?
31:14Well, I think he's so over.
31:22Yes, Kitty?
31:23Tom, is it possible to get the picture up again?
31:25Because I just want to protest that I think Denise has inside information.
31:28I think she's in the car.
31:37That's not fair.
31:39That's not fair.
31:42All right.
31:43So, this is so awful for my partner, John,
31:47on this national television.
31:51But how could you resist?
31:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:54And we were at the party.
31:55And, um, I reckon he's over.
31:59Denise feels that Sergio is clearly over.
32:02Well, I was blown.
32:03Oh, no.
32:05He was blowing.
32:06Anyway, whatever.
32:07Denise feels that Sergio is clearly over.
32:10Let's see if you're right.
32:12Oh.
32:13Oh, wow.
32:14Thank you, Denise.
32:16Points are yours.
32:17Sorry, that is over, though, right?
32:18Yeah, over, yeah.
32:19Oh, is it?
32:20Yeah.
32:23Someone doesn't know the legal word.
32:26I was just distracted by the 69.
32:28By the number.
32:29I thought it did happen.
32:30I thought it did happen.
32:32Hello.
32:33I thought it did happen.
32:34Took you right back.
32:35He was over.
32:36Denise, the points are yours.
32:38Ed, your driver has passed the breathalyser,
32:41but the cops are not done yet.
32:43So, what are you up to tonight?
32:44I've just finished fishing, actually.
32:46I've caught five squid.
32:48Five squid?
32:49So, just grab the blue bit of plastic.
32:50Yeah.
32:50Let the pig pass.
32:51Yeah.
32:55OK.
32:56This will take a couple of minutes.
32:57Yeah, you're right.
32:58I just need to run a check.
32:59Clean as a whistle.
32:59I don't drink, don't take drugs,
33:01so fishing's my drug.
33:03Oh.
33:06Now, Ed, Peter claims that fishing is his drug.
33:10Is he positive or negative?
33:12Well, fishing's also my drug.
33:14Well, fishing and ping is.
33:15OK.
33:17No, no, no, no, he's passed the breathalyser.
33:20Yeah.
33:20So, this is for drugs?
33:21Yes.
33:22All right.
33:22He's out.
33:23What was he catching?
33:24Squid.
33:26I'll tell you, he's a real catch, isn't he?
33:27So, no, you know what?
33:29I'm sick of people like you,
33:30with good blokes like him.
33:31He's out there doing something.
33:33Catching squid.
33:33That man is zero, he's under,
33:36and he's a good kid,
33:37because he's not into drugs.
33:38Fishing is his drug.
33:42Ed, let's see if you're right.
33:44Hey, Peter, your drug results were negative.
33:46Negative, yes.
33:50He was, however, charged with driving a Commodore,
33:52so that's a separate effect.
33:54But, Ed, points to yours.
33:55My vehicle.
33:55Kitty.
33:56Over.
34:00Now, let's see how one of the ladies' pairs.
34:03Officers have pulled over dental nurse Janita
34:06for a roadside alcohol screening.
34:08Hey there, how are you doing tonight?
34:09Good, thanks.
34:10With her family on board,
34:11Janita took the wheel as designated driver.
34:15Have you had anything to drink today?
34:16Yeah, a couple of cocktails, one beer.
34:20But Janita's drinks tally started before the function,
34:24on the two-and-a-half-hour drive to Geelong
34:26from Warrnambool.
34:28I just need one long breath into the straw.
34:31Keep going.
34:32That's it.
34:36Kitty.
34:36Has drinking a couple of cocktails
34:38put designated driver Janita over or under?
34:41I'm actually going to be in Warrnambool soon,
34:43so I look forward to seeing you there, Janita.
34:49Yes, Sam.
34:49All tickets still available.
34:52The tour has just been announced.
34:54It's going to sell out very quickly.
34:56What do you reckon about Janita?
34:57Look, I don't think she meant to be.
34:59Oh.
35:00But I think that she might be just a little bit over.
35:03Wow.
35:03Just a little bit, but she didn't mean to be.
35:05OK, let's see if you're right.
35:10Oh, these are.
35:11I told you.
35:12Just a little bit.
35:13Right on, bud.
35:14I think I need extra points,
35:15because I said it was only going to be a tiny bit.
35:17You said she was over, right?
35:18Yeah.
35:19So you get the point.
35:20No, I want extra points.
35:22But she's not over.
35:23The writing was red, and that means she's over, OK?
35:26You've got to be under 05 or under arrest.
35:29Does no-one know the same one?
35:30And, Janita, I mean, you have one too many slippery nipples,
35:33and that's what's going to happen.
35:35Can you point to yours?
35:37Chris, let's bring this thing home.
35:38I can't believe this is a television program.
35:41Oh, yeah.
35:42It is you.
35:44All right, Chris, this car full of revellers
35:47has caught the attention of law enforcement.
35:49Have you just come out of the pub tonight?
35:51I have, yes.
35:51Did you have a couple?
35:52I did have a couple.
35:53How are you feeling about that?
35:55Oh, yeah.
35:56A bit how you going now?
35:58I have one point, one schooner, and another point.
36:05All right.
36:06Two points in a schooner.
36:07I think I have maybe one or two shots in there somewhere.
36:11Here we go.
36:12OK, you're right.
36:12Here we go.
36:14One long breath into the straw.
36:15Jesus.
36:18All right, Taryn's admitted to drinking quite a bit at the pub,
36:22but is he over or under?
36:24Well, it looks like 11 a.m.
36:28Broad daylight.
36:29Also, that's a real warning about those stretchy earrings, right?
36:32That looks like a bag of shaved ham on his head.
36:35It's not a great situation.
36:39Yes.
36:40At least the policewoman was having fun with it, wasn't she?
36:42It was a big catch, I think,
36:44because these guys are totally over, surely.
36:47So you think Taryn is over?
36:49I'm putting all money on over, yeah.
36:51No way.
36:51Let's see if you're right.
36:52Come on, Taryn.
36:53Come on, Taryn.
36:54Yay!
36:59This show is crazy.
37:04What is the lesson there?
37:05Kids are like, great, a couple of shots and away I go.
37:09Sorry, Chris, can't give you the points.
37:10And all too soon, that brings us to the end of...
37:15Over or under.
37:16Back with more Have You Been Paying Attention right after this.
37:31We're back to watching Have You Been Paying Attention?
37:33Hands on buzzers.
37:35Ooh, another week, another courtroom sketch.
37:37What are we looking at there?
37:40Chris.
37:41I know this.
37:42It was Diddy, and the answer is that he did.
37:46He did indeed.
37:50Chris points to Germany, where...
37:52Police are delaying the opening of the Oktoberfest beer festival today due to a...
37:57Ooh, due to a what?
37:58Chris?
37:59Winefest was before it, but you can't drink wine before...
38:01And beer, you cannot combine.
38:03Anyone know the script?
38:04Janice?
38:04There's not enough people with the RSA license.
38:08Oh, yeah.
38:08Sure.
38:09They need us.
38:10They do need us, Janice.
38:11But something...
38:13It was a bit sinister.
38:14What delayed Oktoberfest police had to step in, Kitty?
38:17Was it a beer shortage?
38:18It was...
38:19No, no, it was plenty of beer, but there was something that...
38:21Well, it was a threat or something.
38:22Denise?
38:23A threat.
38:24A bomb.
38:25Thank you, Denise.
38:26A bomb threat.
38:27Or there's been mass protests across Italy.
38:30Get up!
38:31Get up!
38:33Get up!
38:34Get up!
38:35Get up!
38:35Get up!
38:36What are those Italians angry about?
38:38Kitty?
38:38All the vaping.
38:39Look at it.
38:41Do you want to be part of the...
38:42Denise?
38:43There's a new restaurant open that puts cheese on the marinara.
38:47And that's...
38:48That is...
38:49Not food...
38:50Sam?
38:51No, it's the new concrete garden tax.
38:58It's not.
38:59Anyway, it's a big burning...
39:00Chris?
39:01This is about the intercepted float telemission, right?
39:03To Gaza, trying to bring in humanitarian aid.
39:04I'm happy about that being intercepted.
39:07OK, it's time to get a little sweaty with a bit of this.
39:18And tonight's sports segment is brought to you by Telfast.
39:21Try Telfast for non-drowsy hay fever relief.
39:24It's a no-brainer.
39:25What have James Tedesco and Tameka Upton just done for the second time?
39:31Denise?
39:32The second time...
39:33The year 10 formal.
39:36Chris?
39:37The Dali M.
39:38The Dali M.
39:39Dali M.
39:40Dali M.
39:41With a bit of assistance from the background, I'll give you the points.
39:44Chris?
39:45OK, Sam, we've had a lot of guest quizmasters, video quizmasters over the season.
39:49What if I was to say the name Conrad Sewell?
39:55Listen, I don't know what happened, right?
39:58But all I said once was, I think it was related to Super Bowl and I went with Beyonce.
40:04And I said, why would you go with Beyonce when you go with the steady hand of Conrad Sewell?
40:10Right.
40:10That was all I said.
40:12Hold that thought because I believe we have a special video quizmaster standing by.
40:17Oh, my goodness.
40:18You've got to keep such a steady hand when you polish on these things.
40:21Oh, hey, Tom.
40:25Hey, everyone.
40:26Samuel.
40:27What was I doing at the NRL Grand Final last night?
40:31What was Conrad doing at the NRL Grand Final last night?
40:34Kitty?
40:35Waiting tables?
40:36No.
40:37More prestigious than this.
40:39Well, he's obviously very good at polishing.
40:43Wiping the scores off the whiteboard.
40:45More prestigious, more prestigious.
40:48Sam.
40:48Well, you know, he's such a talented artist.
40:51I mean, I can only assume he was singing the national anthem.
40:55He did indeed.
40:56And, um, he probably nailed it.
41:01Sam, I will pay that.
41:02He sang the national anthem.
41:03Of course, huge win to the Broncos.
41:06This came as a surprise.
41:08The AFL has ditched a tradition dating back almost 140 years.
41:14What is the tradition, Chris?
41:15Shower time cuddles is...
41:19Denise?
41:21Please let it be the team singing, the victorious team singing their theme song in the club rooms.
41:27It's after we go, hoo, hoo, hoo, woo, all the more.
41:31Sadly, Denise, that's still with us.
41:33But they have got rid of Sam.
41:35Chris, I apologise.
41:36That's the worst hucker I've ever seen in the world.
41:39That's culturally insensitive and you can't do that, Denise.
41:44Kitty, what tradition have they got rid of from the AFL?
41:47Is it the bounce at the start?
41:49The unpause?
41:50Don't do it like that.
41:52The bounces.
41:53They're still keeping Mad Monday homophobia, but they're getting rid of it.
41:57The bounce.
41:58Kitty points to yours.
41:59Oh, big week for tennis legend Rafael Nadal.
42:01He's just received what honour?
42:03Kitty?
42:04I think he's going to play the elf in the Christmas pattern.
42:08It's a little theatrical to Nils.
42:11Has he won the lampshade making?
42:15And he went as a lampshade.
42:16No, it's often you get this.
42:17It's an honorary...
42:19Chris?
42:20Access to the Qantas lounge.
42:22OK.
42:23I'm trying to give it to you.
42:24Doctorate, honorary doctorate, degree?
42:26Yeah, honorary doctorate from the University of Salamanca.
42:28We've got to take a break when we return our winner, isn't it?
42:40We're back and it's time to close the show out with a little Rapid Recall.
42:45And tonight's Rapid Recall is proudly brought to you, as it has been, all year by Yui.
42:49You haven't shopped around until you've tried Yui.
42:52Not only great insurance, but they're responsible for the first Ed Cavalli ad campaign to last
42:57more than two weeks.
42:58So, I'll be back.
42:59Incredible.
43:00OK.
43:01Start that clock.
43:03Narelle, Jenna and Iggy.
43:05Why are those names in the news?
43:08Kitty?
43:08New sofa range from Ikea?
43:10It should be.
43:11It should be.
43:12Stop, Sam.
43:12Listen, I've got a message for all of them.
43:14I'm not your father.
43:15OK.
43:17Thank you for clearing that up.
43:18This is an under...
43:19Are they names of cyclones?
43:21I didn't know this.
43:21We pre-named cyclones so that in the upcoming season, that's what they'll be.
43:25For another week, another tariff announcement from Donald Trump.
43:28What industry is he targeting this time?
43:30Chris?
43:31The wind.
43:32If it blows in from overseas, it's a tariff.
43:34It's going to be a hit.
43:36It's not quite as general.
43:39Ed?
43:39Films, tell me.
43:39Yeah, movies shot overseas.
43:41100% tariff.
43:42Tesla's CEO, Elon Musk, has become the first person ever to achieve what?
43:48Chris?
43:49He's got the most amount of money and least amount of friends, right?
43:51Yep.
43:52Chris, I'm going to pay that his $500 billion net worth halfway to a trillionaire.
43:57Wow.
43:58I'm going to sell one of my Teslas.
43:59I'm telling you.
44:01Scientists have made an IVF breakthrough creating human eggs from...
44:06Chris?
44:07Cadbury cream eggs.
44:09Extraordinary.
44:10Amazing.
44:11Human eggs have been created from a particular part of our body.
44:14It's our largest organ.
44:16All right.
44:17Kitty?
44:19Say it, say it, say it.
44:21You know it's...
44:22Say it.
44:23Is it skin cells?
44:23It is indeed skin cells.
44:25Points are yours, Kitty.
44:26This meme has gone viral.
44:27What's Donald Trump been likened to?
44:30Kitty?
44:31Some old whore.
44:32Well...
44:34Who's Donald been likened to there?
44:35It's an obvious historical allusion.
44:37Sam?
44:38Well, that's Marie Antoinette, isn't it?
44:40It is indeed.
44:41I stand by my answer.
44:44Hey, Nicholas Cage is set to star as The Carpenter in a horror retelling of what tale?
44:51Kitty?
44:52Looks like Keith Urban's divorce.
44:56What do you think Carpenter's here?
44:58No, it's our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, Tommy.
45:00Jesus' childhood.
45:01This statue has been described by fans as disrespectful and a travesty.
45:06Who is it meant to be?
45:08Kitty?
45:09That's all right.
45:10That's Jon Bon Jovi.
45:12It's a musician.
45:14It's a famous...
45:15Iconic musician, Chris.
45:16Come on.
45:16The artist tried simply their best.
45:19Exactly.
45:20Thank you so...
45:23It's Tina Turner.
45:24Thank you, Chris.
45:25Oh, my God.
45:25Millions of Aussies did what?
45:27Sunday morning.
45:28Chris?
45:29Well, introduce themselves to the person beside them in the bed.
45:32And then we got up and Kitty?
45:34And then the clocks went forward.
45:36People turned their clocks forward for daylight savings.
45:40Gwyneth Paltrow and daughter Apple are starring in a new ad campaign for what?
45:45Kitty?
45:46BCF?
45:47Is...
45:48What a...
45:49What a get.
45:51Chris?
45:52This is Gap, isn't it?
45:53Yeah, Gap.
45:53Closing.
45:53Swag Gap now.
45:55Thank you, Chris.
45:56Oh, good news out of the Middle East.
45:58Oh, and we're out of time.
46:00Let's check that final leaderboard.
46:02Again, our winner is Chris Parker.
46:10Congratulations to our winner.
46:11Thanks to everyone for being part of the show, both tonight and throughout the season.
46:15We'll leave you with one final reminder of the need to pay attention when appearing on live TV.
46:19Give me two more.
46:20Oh, my God.
46:22Last one.
46:22Let's go.
46:23No, Kenny.
46:24No, Kenny.
46:24There we go.
46:25Oh, my God.
46:26Oh, my God.
46:27Good night, Australia.
46:28See you next year.
46:29Oh, my God.
46:31Oh, my God.
46:32Oh, my God.
46:34Oh, my God.
46:35Oh, my God.
46:36Oh, my God.
46:38Oh, my God.
46:38Oh, my God.
46:38Oh, my God.
46:39Oh, my God.
46:39You
Comments