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00:09Tonight, join Kitty Flanagan, Guy Montgomery, Ursula Carlson, Ed Cavalli and Sam Pang
00:16as we look back on the week and ask, have you been paying attention?
00:22And now, the Chris Master General, Tom Gleisner.
00:27Good evening, great to have your company as we play two-show cash-up on another busy week.
00:33It's been a big seven days of news, so we've called in five of our best to help sort through
00:37the stories.
00:38She's just come off three sold-out nights in Adelaide, the always amazing Ursula Carlson.
00:45In the running next week for a most popular new talent, Logie, it's Guy Montgomery.
00:52Fresh from two sold-out nights in the Blue Mountains, say hello to Kitty.
00:57We'll do them all.
00:59The face and unusual walking style of U.E. Insurance, it's Ed Cavalli.
01:06And finally, six days from now, this man takes to the stage as host of the Logie Awards before fleeing
01:13the country.
01:13Our very own Mr. Sam Pang.
01:18Great to see you again, Ursula.
01:19And judging by this photo, you've been on holiday recently.
01:22That's right.
01:23You can see I make bold choices with my outfits.
01:26I'm fine afraid.
01:27Where are you there, Ish?
01:28This is in Vanuatu.
01:30And, yeah, I've met those two ladies in my arms there, my hands.
01:35Actually, it was like you pay extra for the kids to hold these critters.
01:39And then my kids were too scared.
01:42So I'm not here to waste money.
01:45Give them.
01:46Is it a chameleon?
01:48Is that what it's the end of the call?
01:49I don't know.
01:50Is it supposed to be...
01:50I wasn't listening.
01:52I was just paying them money.
01:53Just holding them.
01:54Yeah.
01:54Because I think they're famous for being able to blend into any background.
01:57They're struggling with your shirt.
01:59Yes, yes.
02:00Yeah, I could tell that one was giving up because it asked for a dart from another Australian.
02:05Hey, welcome back, Kitty.
02:07And am I right in saying you're presenting at the Logies?
02:09Yeah, I'm presenting with Edo.
02:11Edo and I are going to take the stage together.
02:12How does that work, Kitty?
02:13Like, does Sam give you a call and say someone's dropped out?
02:16No.
02:19How does it work?
02:19I think we both know that since he started hosting the Logies, he's become a bit of a showbiz asshole.
02:23So he gets his people to call you.
02:27And they're really only calling you to lay down the law and tell you the rules.
02:30Like, no speaking unless spoken to.
02:32No eye contact with Sam.
02:34He must be called Sir or Sensei, apparently.
02:38And we have to refer to his dressing room as The Dojo.
02:42It's all fairly straightforward.
02:43Apparently it's a sacred space.
02:45And, um, Kitty.
02:46So whatever, mate.
02:48What do you, uh, you and Edo, have you thought about what you're going to do?
02:51Do you know what award you're presenting?
02:53Sorry, sir, I'll just put my eyes down.
02:56Yes, I believe we're presenting Best Entertainment Program.
02:59Is your show in that category?
03:02Not with the word entertainment.
03:05Is it still called presenting if you have to go out and save the night?
03:11Just pick it up.
03:12Now, Kitty, you are a seasoned attendee.
03:15And I think, Guy, this is your first Logies?
03:17This will be the first time for Guy Montgomery going to the Logies, yes.
03:20Wow, very exciting.
03:21So, Kitty, he's started to refer to himself in the third person.
03:27So, that's always...
03:29I didn't know you.
03:30How long have you been doing that?
03:31Uh, Guy's been panicking.
03:35Guy, um, you've been touring the country.
03:37You posted this amazing shot the other day.
03:39That's the Adelaide Entertainment Centre.
03:42And did you say this was the biggest crowd?
03:44Yeah, that was the biggest crowd I've ever done.
03:46I felt so proud of myself.
03:48And then when you were introducing Ursula,
03:50I heard she did that room three times.
03:54She did it.
03:55But no matter how big you get, Guy,
03:57you still find time to meet with the fans outside gigs.
04:00Look at that.
04:02Wow.
04:03Sorry, is that the same shirt you're wearing now?
04:07You're like Homer Simpson every day, the same outfit.
04:11At least I bought mine at her store.
04:13I didn't make my own.
04:16Let's play nicely.
04:17We've got a lot of questions to get through.
04:19I just want to point out, too,
04:21Sam Pang's getting upset.
04:24Thank you, Sam.
04:25All right, we better get this quiz started.
04:27Hands on buzzers.
04:28And it was a big day in Canberra.
04:32What are we looking at there?
04:34The opening of Ursula?
04:35Oh, no, I thought it's...
04:37You know when you're in your room for too long
04:38with your boyfriend
04:39and then your mum comes knocking like that?
04:43Is everyone's hands above the blankets in there?
04:46When was the last time you were in your bedroom
04:48with your boyfriend?
04:50In high school, but let me tell you,
04:51there was no hanky-panky.
04:54All the hands were visible at all.
04:56Absolutely.
04:56All right, now we're looking at the opening of...
04:58Sam.
05:00It's the opening of Parliament, Tom.
05:01Yes, and that's the usher of the black rod,
05:04a phrase best not Googled at work.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:07to a dramatic moment in the Senate.
05:10What are we looking at there?
05:11Guy.
05:12The One Nation Senators have been distracted once again
05:15by a racist ice cream truck.
05:19You're pretty close, Ursula.
05:21No, is this like the parliamentary version
05:23of not knowing your arse from your elbow?
05:26I think we're all making jokes about it,
05:29but it's dementia, so let's be...
05:30OK.
05:31..let's be respectful.
05:33I still don't know whether I've got an answer.
05:35They're One Nation Senators, but what are they doing here?
05:36They were turning their back on the Welcome to Country.
05:39Yes, the Welcome to Country ceremony.
05:40That's the spirit.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:42To be fair, Pauline was facing Mecca,
05:44so it's...
05:45LAUGHTER
05:46Oh, staying with politics...
05:48A Queensland Senator has been upstaged
05:50by perhaps the cutest of protesters.
05:53Ooh.
05:53What cute protester interrupted Corinne Mulholland's maiden speech?
05:59Kitty.
05:59Was it Grover from Sesame Street?
06:01I'm not sure what made me think of that.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:04It was not a Sesame Street character.
06:06Oh, if we're basically seeing answers on what Kitty's wearing,
06:09was it a Smurf?
06:11LAUGHTER
06:12They're cute.
06:13It's this wonderful maiden speech, but it was Ursula.
06:17It wasn't a baby.
06:18Her baby.
06:19Her baby.
06:20Her baby.
06:21As opposed to a baby.
06:23Is it Ursula?
06:24I will pay that.
06:24Her son, Augie.
06:25Take a look.
06:26We are butlers.
06:28People who work hard, speak straight,
06:30and don't ask for more than a fair go.
06:32Tell you what, she'd better not come to my show with that.
06:35LAUGHTER
06:36LAUGHTER
06:37Well, as a couple of seasoned stand-ups guy, Kitty,
06:40Ursula, what is your policy on crying babies
06:43at your show?
06:43I don't...
06:43As long as the baby pays full price, I don't care.
06:47LAUGHTER
06:48All right.
06:49This could be our phrase of the week.
06:51American beef.
06:52American beef.
06:53American beef.
06:54Woo!
06:55LAUGHTER
06:58Why is everyone talking about American?
07:01Wow.
07:02Kitty.
07:03Is it Trump's username on Tinder?
07:06It's with underscore in the middle, I think.
07:08Guy.
07:08No, I believe it's a gay reboot of American pain.
07:11Wow.
07:11LAUGHTER
07:13That is Ursula.
07:15I just want to know, we can watch that.
07:18You have a movie night together.
07:20What's American beef in our news report?
07:22Tariffs-based, isn't it?
07:23They're exempt from?
07:24No.
07:25No, not tariffs.
07:26Kitty.
07:26They're bringing it in.
07:27Yes.
07:28And if you eat it, you end up like Barnaby Joyce.
07:31LAUGHTER
07:31Well, that's the worry that it might have mad cow.
07:34The government have lifted restrictions.
07:35We still recommend sticking with Aussie beef, of course,
07:38at all times.
07:39LAUGHTER
07:43Donald Trump made a staggering accusation this week.
07:47Look, he's guilty.
07:48It's not a question...
07:49You know, I like to say, uh...
07:51Let's give it time.
07:53It's there.
07:54He's guilty.
07:55They...
07:56This was treason.
07:57Wow.
07:58Who's he talking about?
07:59Guy?
08:00I don't know, but I do like how he says,
08:02let's give it time.
08:03LAUGHTER
08:05Until the end of the sentence.
08:06Sam, he's got to let this go, is it?
08:08Dr Chris Brown leaving ten to go to seven?
08:11LAUGHTER
08:12A little closer to Washington.
08:14He's not letting go.
08:16And, uh, Guy...
08:17I do know.
08:18And it's Barack Obama?
08:20Yes.
08:20Who he's accused of being...
08:21What's the word?
08:22Sedacious.
08:23Not a word, but thanks for...
08:24LAUGHTER
08:25Guy, points are yours.
08:27To Peru.
08:28Yeah!
08:29Yeah!
08:30Yeah!
08:31Yeah!
08:32Yeah!
08:33Yeah!
08:33Yeah!
08:33Yeah!
08:34Yeah!
08:36Yeah!
08:36Yeah!
08:36Yeah!
08:36Yeah!
08:36Yeah!
08:36Yeah!
08:36What did we just watch take place?
08:38Ed?
08:39The opening of Peruvian parliament.
08:42That's how they should do it.
08:43A lot more fun.
08:44Uh, Guy?
08:44No, it's a live-action imagining of the Bumblebee Man from The Simpsons, which skirts copyright
08:49law only just.
08:51Yeah.
08:52I'd love to pay that, Guy.
08:54So, well, it is kind of a fictional character.
08:56It's a drug bust.
08:57It's a...
08:57Yeah.
08:58Yeah, this comedy character that goes on drug bust.
08:59The chief, uh...
09:01The chief...
09:01Buster.
09:02Uh, is disguised as Mexican superhero Chipolin Colorado, a.k.a. the Red Grasshopper.
09:07Yeah, yeah.
09:08That'll be so confusing if you're so high and then that guy...
09:12LAUGHTER
09:13LAUGHTER
09:14And that guy comes to the...
09:15You ain't know what's wrong!
09:16Ed, I'll pay that a drug bust.
09:18To royal news, and the palace has marked Prince George's 12th birthday by releasing what?
09:23Guy.
09:24Prince Andrew.
09:25He'd...
09:26LAUGHTER
09:26Run, my boy, run!
09:30I think, uh...
09:31I think Andrew might still be at home.
09:32Kitty.
09:33Uh, an album of John Denver covers.
09:35LAUGHTER
09:38I'd love to pay that.
09:39Sadly, no.
09:40I think it's a drone strike on Megan.
09:42Is...
09:42LAUGHTER
09:44I'm related to, uh, to Prince George.
09:46Anyone know what they, uh, released this week to mark the, uh, happy occasion, Sam?
09:51They released, uh, a photo.
09:53Hmm?
09:54But more importantly...
09:55Go on.
09:56LAUGHTER
09:56A rare video.
09:58Really?
09:59LAUGHTER
09:59Sam is a staunch monarchist.
10:01A photo of...
10:02Staunch monarchist.
10:03Video of these siblings.
10:04We don't often get to see them, uh, in the wine.
10:06What are their names, Sam?
10:07What are they called?
10:08Well, there's, uh...
10:11Groucho.
10:12LAUGHTER
10:12We've got to take a break.
10:14Back with more, have you been hanging out?
10:15Right after.
10:18APPLAUSE
10:30Canberra has kicked back into gear.
10:32We're here to work hard.
10:33Work hard.
10:34Work hard.
10:35I'm...
10:35I'm...
10:35First on the agenda for the government.
10:37Romantic melodrama.
10:38Well, these three blokes are...
10:39Girl, I'm ready to go.
10:40Comfortable in my own skin.
10:41That cute guy in Parliament.
10:42He's not looking to swipe right.
10:44Turn right.
10:45Oh, goodness.
10:45Could this be...
10:46Happily ever after.
10:47Who gives a crap?
10:51APPLAUSE
10:51So back to watching, have you been paying attention?
10:54Just before we return to questions,
10:56Ed Cavourley.
10:58What on earth is going on here?
11:01Yeah, right.
11:02LAUGHTER
11:03I have the words,
11:05Australia Post Online Retailer Awards.
11:09LAUGHTER
11:14I think the audience's response
11:16has told you we should move on, Tom.
11:18And who are you with there?
11:20That is the wonderful performer, Vintage.
11:24And it was a...
11:25Yes, guy?
11:25Who books that?
11:27LAUGHTER
11:28I think it's pretty clear, guy.
11:30I book it myself.
11:31LAUGHTER
11:32And, uh...
11:33Yes, Samuel?
11:33Well, I'm just sure everyone's curious.
11:36Like, where was it held?
11:38It was held at a venue in Sydney at the ICC.
11:42And this is true.
11:43As I walked in to host the Online Retailer Awards
11:47with Vintage,
11:48I looked up and there was a poster for Ursula
11:51doing stand-up in the same venue.
11:53LAUGHTER
11:54With the phrase, sold out, underneath.
11:56And I thought, I'm doing OK.
11:59LAUGHTER
11:59Her sold out means something different than yours, though.
12:02LAUGHTER
12:04All right, we should probably move on.
12:07Tom, before we do move on,
12:08you know you always bring up photos of everybody else.
12:11Well, I was at a friend's house recently
12:13and she had an interesting few photos of you
12:16that I would like to show now,
12:18if you can explain these from a calendar.
12:23LAUGHTER
12:28That's impressive.
12:29As you would say, Tom,
12:30what's going on there?
12:32LAUGHTER
12:34LAUGHTER
12:34Help us in.
12:36LAUGHTER
12:39Is it...
12:41You've got quite a range.
12:42Beef Week, maybe?
12:44LAUGHTER
12:45That's a character.
12:46Australian beef.
12:46That's a character I played on the ABC...
12:48..called Ivan Malat.
12:51What the hell is this guy?
12:54Guy and Ursula, you've probably missed this series.
12:57It was called Funky Squad.
12:58It was about some 70s cops, you know,
13:01who were hip to the street.
13:02And I played a character called Poncho.
13:05The nipples are following me around.
13:07OK, can we get rid of Poncho?
13:09We need to...
13:10That is here on with some more questions.
13:12To some excited Coke drinkers.
13:14Oh, my gosh.
13:17This is 10,000 times better.
13:20It's way more fresh, and it has more flavour.
13:23What are they talking about?
13:25Kitty.
13:25Pepsi?
13:26LAUGHTER
13:28Probably not the message they were trying to give.
13:30Is this something about the Coke?
13:32Ursula.
13:32Is this the Coke that they've changed as sugar
13:35to basically make a Mexican Coke
13:36and now they're all excited about it?
13:38Indeed.
13:38Cane sugar, Ursula, rather than corn syrup.
13:40Didn't Trump only mention that, like, last week?
13:43And it happened.
13:43And like to say, like you always tell me,
13:45he gets stuff done, doesn't he?
13:50Ursula, points are yours.
13:51For another week, another Gen Z trend.
13:53Have you heard of bathroom camping?
13:55Bathroom camping.
13:56Bathroom camping.
13:57Bathroom camping.
13:59What is bathroom camping?
14:01Oh, die.
14:02It's something my dad came up with,
14:03and it just means taking a long shit.
14:07LAUGHTER
14:09Not related to your father, Ursula.
14:11Yeah, it's just not enough fibre in your diet.
14:14It's probably...
14:15Sam, Logie's after-party.
14:17Yes.
14:18That's being so referred.
14:20Anyone?
14:21They're doing it at work, aren't they?
14:22They get out of working,
14:23they just go and sit in the bathroom?
14:24If you want to de-stress,
14:26either at work or in a social situation,
14:28you can just go and sit in the toilet for a while.
14:30All right, I'm off.
14:34You know you can't leave because you're not wearing pants.
14:39Moving on.
14:40Remarkable scenes outside the Melbourne magistrate...
14:43I'm just saying outside of Melbourne court.
14:46Go with me, Ursula.
14:47Yes, Guy.
14:48It's magistrate.
14:49Thank you, Guy.
14:51LAUGHTER
14:55For ten points, can you spell it?
14:57M-A-G-I-S-T-R-A-T-E.
15:01That's ten points.
15:01Correct!
15:03APPLAUSE
15:05Guy, I'll need your help again.
15:07Remarkable scenes outside the Melbourne...
15:08Magistrate.
15:09..court on Thursday.
15:13LAUGHTER
15:16What is that gentleman's alleged offence?
15:20Uh, Guy.
15:21The drugs wearing off.
15:23LAUGHTER
15:24From a criminal.
15:25What's he in court for, Sam?
15:26I don't know, but is he the sidekick of the guy in Peru?
15:29LAUGHTER
15:30There's a superhero link there.
15:31No, this is very much an Australian...
15:33Ursula.
15:34No, I think it's graffiti or something.
15:38208 charges.
15:39Oh, is that the guy?
15:39His Pam...
15:40Well, he's allegedly Pam the Bird.
15:42Oh, that's cute!
15:43Dude, leave him alone!
15:45Let him go, let him go.
15:47OK, it's time to take a stroll down the red carpet.
15:54And tonight's showbiz segment is once again brought to you
15:57by the Mitsubishi Triton.
15:58It's Mitsubishi's most capable ute ever.
16:01Nothing can frighten a Triton.
16:03It was South Park's season premiere on Friday.
16:06Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it!
16:09LAUGHTER
16:11LAUGHTER
16:12Stop it there and ask,
16:13who does Trump get into bed with?
16:16Guy.
16:17It's Satan.
16:18It's so good.
16:19They're doing the thing they did in their movie from 99.
16:22They did that to Saddam Hussein,
16:24and then they've done it again with this guy.
16:25It's so crack-up.
16:26The word I heard was...
16:27LAUGHTER
16:28The word I heard was,
16:30Satan, take a look.
16:31Hey, Satan.
16:32I don't want him right now.
16:35LAUGHTER
16:38That's his micropenis, apparently.
16:41Can we get in close, right?
16:43No, you can't get any closer than that.
16:44All right, that's...
16:46These people popped up on our screens last night.
16:49They're the cast of which show?
16:51Kitty?
16:53I'm going to say Master Race 2025.
16:56LAUGHTER
16:57Not a lot of diversity there.
16:59Why, Sam?
17:00I think Kitty's close.
17:01It's a new show.
17:01It's called Farmer Wants a White.
17:03LAUGHTER
17:05It's a little...
17:06No.
17:06..black in and diversity.
17:07Go on.
17:08It's clearly a building show.
17:09I believe it's the reboot of Nazi Megastructures.
17:13LAUGHTER
17:14One of our favourites.
17:15It's a building show.
17:17The points are...
17:18It'll be the block.
17:19Yes.
17:19They're all horrific couples.
17:20Lock 25.
17:21I think kicked off last night.
17:23Well, this is exciting.
17:24Dr Chris Brown has been announced
17:26as the host of which new Channel 7 show?
17:28Kitty?
17:29Master Race 2025.
17:33Anyone know the show?
17:34Sam?
17:35Is it a pet cemetery?
17:37It's...
17:38LAUGHTER
17:39It's not...
17:39Again, it's a home building kind of...
17:42It's not the block, obviously.
17:44It?
17:45It's called Renault Rescue,
17:47where they try and rebuild his career.
17:48Renault's...
17:49LAUGHTER
17:49My Renault...
17:51My Renault Rules.
17:52It's a...
17:52Yeah, it's like my kitchen...
17:53My Renault Rules.
17:55I'll pay that.
17:56My Renault Rules.
17:57Oh, I believe we have some special video quiz masters standing by.
18:01Hi, Tom.
18:01Hi, everyone.
18:03Dave Franco here.
18:03Alison Brie.
18:04OK.
18:06What body parts of ours feature on the poster for our new horror movie, Together?
18:12What body parts of Dave and Alison feature on the poster?
18:15Ursula.
18:16Is it nipples?
18:17Yes.
18:18I don't know why I keep thinking about nipples.
18:20It is not nipples.
18:22Sam?
18:23Perineum.
18:23Oh!
18:25Yeah, yeah.
18:26That's fine.
18:27That is fine.
18:27Just spell it, spell it, spell it.
18:30That is a good...
18:31That is a good...
18:32No, it's...
18:32It's the perineum of the face.
18:34The lips.
18:35Ooh!
18:37LAUGHTER
18:38LAUGHTER
18:40Guy says the lips.
18:42Is that correct?
18:42It's our lips.
18:44A little sticky kiss going on.
18:47Oh, yeah.
18:48Oh.
18:49Guy, points are yours.
18:50This has fans excited.
18:52What are we looking at?
18:53There, Ursula.
18:54Intense inbreeding?
18:56It's...
18:56LAUGHTER
18:57Otherwise known as Kitty.
18:59No, this is exciting.
19:00That's...
19:01I think it's...
19:02Anna, Bjorn and Benny.
19:04LAUGHTER
19:05But Frida's not joining for that reunion.
19:08But just the three that are going in.
19:09Frida took the photo, I think.
19:10Guy.
19:11No, this is the Spinal Tap sequel.
19:13Yes.
19:13It looks like they should be in your calendar.
19:17LAUGHTER
19:17Guy, I'll give you the points.
19:19We've got to take a break.
19:20Back to our special guest quiz master.
19:21We'll talk to you right after.
19:26APPLAUSE
19:30APPLAUSE
19:34We're back.
19:34We've been paying attention
19:36and it's time to meet our special guest quiz master.
19:38She's conquered the stage, screen and even the jungle.
19:42Give it up for the always amazing Casey Donovan.
19:47Hey, Casey.
19:48Hey, Casey.
19:50Welcome back.
19:52You've been on before and I totally forgot.
19:53I'm so sorry.
19:54That's all right.
19:54Totally fine.
19:55It happens.
19:55You are friend of the show.
19:57I am.
19:57And Channel 10 royalty,
19:59because your TV career kind of began here, didn't it?
20:01It really did.
20:0221 years ago.
20:03Can you believe it?
20:0321 years ago.
20:04And it was, of course, Australian Idol.
20:06It was.
20:06What are your memories of those first appearance?
20:09Not a lot.
20:10I think PTSD has kind of shot that out.
20:12It's kicked in.
20:13For those who may not remember,
20:14we found this old YouTube clip of your audition.
20:18Oh, bless.
20:19You're the real end.
20:22You fascinate me.
20:26LAUGHTER
20:26All the boys say that.
20:28Absolutely.
20:29And it was Mark Holden and Dan Marsha.
20:32And Marsha, it was.
20:33Wow, who you're teaming up with shortly.
20:35And then fast forward a couple of months
20:36and you were crowned the youngest ever winner of the series.
20:39The winner of Australian Idol 2004...
20:44Wow.
20:46..is...
20:48Casey Donovan!
20:49Lesser.
20:50Lesser indeed.
20:53Yes, God.
20:53Sorry, was that young man standing next to you there
20:56in case you wanted to try and sell you a car?
21:00LAUGHTER
21:00But they did win a car, so that was...
21:02Yeah, that was nice.
21:03But, no, Anthony Collier.
21:05Oh, yes.
21:05Well, how come Idol has turned out so many genuine stars
21:09and I don't think The Voice has turned out one?
21:13I'm not sure.
21:13I can't answer that.
21:15I don't...
21:15I don't know.
21:16Mm.
21:18Yes, sir?
21:19Electric.
21:20LAUGHTER
21:23It's a good question.
21:24It's a great question.
21:26Yes, Scott?
21:26So long as we're asking sort of unknowable questions.
21:29What do you...
21:29What do you think happens to us after we die?
21:33I mean, how much time have we got?
21:36We've got about a couple of minutes.
21:38Now, outside of TV,
21:39I don't think there's a busier actor than you.
21:42We've seen you with Sister Act and Juliet Chicago.
21:44You obviously love a good stage musical.
21:46I do.
21:46I love them.
21:47They're a lot of fun.
21:48And you've just opened in a new musical
21:50called Kimberley Akimbo.
21:51I have.
21:52What's the storyline, Cassie?
21:53Oh, it is such a beautiful story.
21:55It is about Marina Pryor,
21:56who plays Kimberley in our show,
21:58and her arc is of a 16-year-old
22:00who has an ageing disease.
22:02So she's 16, but she looks around 60 to 70.
22:06I play Aunt Deborah, who's a kleptomaniac.
22:09But she loves her family,
22:10and she just wants the family to do well.
22:12But it's a beautiful, heart-warming story.
22:14That is a great...
22:15I saw this on Broadway.
22:17Wow.
22:17This is an amazing musical.
22:19Isn't that amazing?
22:19And that's the best character.
22:20That's awesome.
22:21Yeah, Aunt Deb.
22:22Congratulations.
22:22She's just got the stickiest hands of all.
22:24Thank you so much.
22:24Is that why you're in it too, up the back there?
22:28Oh, yeah.
22:31Does make a brief appearance.
22:33Sam.
22:33I saw you in Sister Act,
22:35and you were amazing.
22:36I just wanted that on the record.
22:38That's it?
22:39I appreciate that.
22:41That's lovely.
22:41Kitty.
22:42If we're saying nice things about Casey,
22:43I'll say this.
22:44You fascinate me.
22:47All the girls say that as well.
22:48The show involves singing, dancing, and rollerblading.
22:52There's some footage here of...
22:53There she is.
22:54Wow.
22:54You're going around with the...
22:55So, any mishaps?
22:57The other day, I thought I snapped my vagina.
23:03Yes, Sam.
23:04Ask a follow-up question.
23:08Now, later this year,
23:09you're going to be taking the stage
23:11with your Australian idol friend and judge,
23:13Marsha Hines.
23:14It's Marsha sings Summer.
23:16That's the...
23:16She sure does.
23:17Yeah, Donna Summer.
23:18All the songs of Donna Summer.
23:19It's going to be amazing,
23:20and I'm a special guest, so...
23:21Do you get bad girls, or...
23:23I've asked for Love to Love Your Baby,
23:26and I don't...
23:26Oh, nice.
23:26I don't know if you know how that starts,
23:28but it's...
23:30Yeah.
23:31Ah!
23:33Ah!
23:34Yeah.
23:35Actually, that's pretty good.
23:37Yes, Sam.
23:40Tom's used to that when he's paid money
23:42and he's just on the phone.
23:44There you go.
23:44And I think I just snapped my vagina,
23:48but...
23:49It does happen.
23:50It does happen.
23:51Hey, we've got some questions.
23:52We've got five people
23:53who are pretty across the news of the week.
23:56Right.
23:57Let's see if we can get some answers.
23:58OK.
23:59Fleetwood Macs, Stevie Nicks,
24:00and Lindsay Buckingham
24:02have teamed up again to do what?
24:05Ursula.
24:05They found a bag of Coke
24:06that they didn't finish.
24:09If that's behind them now,
24:10I'm sure I think they're all pretty...
24:12Petey.
24:13Mexican Coke.
24:15Not Coke.
24:16Forget the Coke.
24:17It's an artistic endeavor.
24:18Sam.
24:19Well, I'm going to assume
24:21they're getting together to sing.
24:25God.
24:26Close.
24:27They're going to re-release
24:28audio of them singing previously.
24:31Their two-hander album.
24:32Is it called Buckingham...
24:34Buckingham Necks?
24:35Yeah.
24:35They were a folky duo back in the day.
24:37What does that mean?
24:37Oh, hang on.
24:37What does that mean?
24:38Hang on.
24:38Hey, you're a look.
24:41It's got your look, mate.
24:42That's your internal look.
24:44It was a look.
24:45All right, next question, please.
24:46Nick Cave made headlines this week
24:48after donating 2,000 what?
24:51Ursula.
24:52Books.
24:53Yes.
24:53Books to a charity bookshop in the UK.
24:55Giving away books
24:56is just sort of decluttering, really,
24:58isn't it?
25:00I'm sure it's...
25:00Well, not to those people
25:01who can't afford books, Tom.
25:03I don't mix with them.
25:07It's gone.
25:09Well, you told me
25:10it's faster to burn them,
25:11didn't you?
25:13This is on me.
25:14I know.
25:15Sorry, I'm sorry, Casey.
25:16It's totally fine.
25:16Next question, please.
25:18This was a surprise.
25:19What 53-year-old celebrity
25:21is the cover star
25:22of Men's Fitness this month?
25:24Guy.
25:25It's someone who used to be funny
25:27and then they got strong instead.
25:29It's Sacha Baron Cohen.
25:30Wow, editorialising.
25:32It's like the hard launch
25:33of a midlife crisis right there.
25:36Looks very stupid.
25:44Big expression, please.
25:45This raunchy concert footage
25:47has caused a stir online.
25:57Who's that performing?
25:59Kitty?
26:00I don't know,
26:00but I think she's got
26:01a broken vagina now.
26:04You may be right.
26:05Ursula.
26:06That's the opening sequence
26:07at my Adelaide show.
26:08Is that...
26:12And that's why it sells out,
26:15Ursula.
26:16Who's that performing?
26:16Is that you, J-Lo?
26:17It is Jennifer Lopez,
26:18her ongoing Up All Night tour,
26:21which is her first in six years.
26:24Tell me if you need me
26:24for the next break,
26:25I'm going to be
26:25bathroom camping for you.
26:28Well, we do have to take a break.
26:30You can catch Casey and Kimberly
26:32Akimbo at the Melbourne Theatre Company
26:34until the end of August
26:35or on tour next year
26:36around the country.
26:37Would you please thank Casey Donovan?
26:52We're back and trying to put
26:54introduction listeners
26:55individually under the spotlight.
26:57This week we lost
26:58one of the founding fathers
26:59of heavy metal music,
27:00the great Ozzy Osbourne.
27:02And what better way
27:02to celebrate his legacy
27:04than with this?
27:08Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.
27:16Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.
27:17All right.
27:21I think it's pretty self-evident.
27:23We'll show you each a clip
27:25relating to the Prince of Darkness.
27:27All you have to do
27:28is answer a straightforward question.
27:30Guy, let's start with you.
27:37Guy, take a look at this music video
27:39from the title track
27:40of Aussie Osbourne's
27:41third studio album.
27:54Guy, he's drunk a vial of poison.
27:58What happens next?
27:59Look like...
28:02Look like he's going to get sick.
28:07I think in the world of heavy metal,
28:09sick would be too obvious.
28:10Uh, what about this?
28:12So they make you think
28:13he's going to get sick.
28:14Oh.
28:15It's a trap anyone could fall into.
28:16Mr. Rick.
28:17And then he comes back
28:19and he's empowered
28:20in some sinister and evil way.
28:23Well, he changes into something.
28:25Oh.
28:28Good.
28:30Uh...
28:30Tom Gleisner?
28:33LAUGHTER
28:35It's, uh...
28:36I'll give you one more clue.
28:37Like, it's a fictional but scary figure.
28:40Uh, Dracula.
28:42Let's find out.
28:43Wow.
28:44It's a werewolf.
28:46So close.
28:46Yeah, I was close.
28:48LAUGHTER
28:49You should do it with the voice.
28:51Do the voice.
28:52Aussie's voice?
28:53Yeah.
28:53Oh, when he was in the...
28:54Oh, oh, oh, oh.
28:55Oh, Sharon.
28:56Sharon.
28:57Sharon.
28:58Sharon.
29:00Yes, Sam?
29:01Don't do the voice.
29:03It's from the music video
29:05Bark at the Moon.
29:06Sorry, Guy.
29:06Can't give you the points.
29:07Kitty, the wild frontman
29:09and heavy metal pioneer,
29:11made an appearance
29:11on David Letterman's
29:13Late Night in 1982
29:14and his onstage antics
29:16were the first topic
29:17of conversation.
29:18Now, why would you
29:19want to do that, exactly?
29:20Well, it's my hobby, you know.
29:24No, now, see,
29:25you're going to give
29:25these people the wrong...
29:26It's not really your hobby,
29:27is it?
29:28Let's have a look at your neck.
29:29No, no, no.
29:29Here, here, here.
29:31You see, the thing is,
29:32Colonel Saunders,
29:33how many chickens
29:34did he put to death?
29:35Did you know immediately,
29:37not having bitten into...
29:39LAUGHTER
29:40Well, I've eaten some pretty
29:42rough chicken on the road,
29:43you know, but...
29:44I can assure you
29:46the rabies shots
29:47that I went through
29:48afterwards aren't fun.
29:49Kitty, what's Ozzy talking about?
29:51I don't know.
29:52I couldn't understand
29:53a word he said.
29:54He talks about chicken
29:55and you mentioned
29:56having to get a rabies shot.
29:58Join those dots.
29:58Was he sick?
30:01LAUGHTER
30:03This was legendary.
30:04Some people said
30:05it never happened,
30:05but he admitted it.
30:06It was onstage antics
30:08and people do crazy things.
30:09Oh, oh, I know.
30:10Is it a bat?
30:11Let's see if you're correct.
30:13Let's tell them what you did.
30:13Bit the head off a bat.
30:14There, I said it.
30:15Ten points to Kitty.
30:16That's what I should have done.
30:19He bit the head off a bat
30:20at a concert in Wuhan,
30:22so that was quite...
30:24Sam,
30:25you're watching a scene
30:26from the 2019 film
30:28The Dirt
30:28about metal glasses.
30:30Tell me.
30:31Tell me.
30:32Your pacemaker's overheated.
30:37It's a 2019 film,
30:38The Dirt,
30:39about metal glam band
30:40Motley Crue
30:41where a young Aussie
30:42played by actor
30:42Tony Cavallero
30:43makes a brief
30:44but highly memorable
30:45cameo.
30:46This is your first
30:47real tour, right?
30:48I want you to be careful.
30:49There's a life full of booze,
30:51drugs,
30:52and unprotected sex
30:53that's only going to
30:54fuck you up, man.
30:56Oh, shush.
31:01Now, give me a straw
31:02or fancy a bump.
31:03Oh, man.
31:04Alright, we're all
31:05out of blow, dude.
31:06Man, we're out.
31:06I said I want a bump.
31:08Straw, please.
31:14I'll stop her there
31:15and ask Sam,
31:16according to legend,
31:17what does Aussie snort?
31:19Well, it's not cocaine.
31:20Correct.
31:21Alright, that was a very
31:21quick answer.
31:23He says he wants
31:24a bit of a bump
31:25so I guess he wants
31:25to something...
31:26I've never heard
31:27that expression before.
31:30Well, he was going
31:30out of shot
31:31so I'm just going to say
31:33he snorted something
31:34off the ground.
31:35Yes.
31:36That thing off the ground
31:37would be?
31:38Oh, Jesus.
31:38That's not enough?
31:40It's another living thing.
31:42Oh, I've got no idea.
31:43Seriously, I'm sorry.
31:44I can't...
31:44It's a line of them.
31:45You know you snort
31:47a line of coke,
31:48he snorts a line of...
31:49I've never done this
31:50in all the times
31:51but can you just pass?
31:52Well, you just did.
31:54You're going to pass?
31:55Yeah, I'm happy to pass.
31:57Let's find out.
31:58Can you steal?
31:59Alright, Kitty,
32:00you may steal.
32:01Oh, I don't know either.
32:02I just thought someone...
32:04Well, stop it there.
32:06Let's find out
32:06what Aussie snorts.
32:12A line of ants.
32:14Okay, Ed.
32:15Yeah.
32:16One of Aussie's
32:16greatest ever hits
32:17was Paranoid
32:18with Black Sabbath
32:19but the song
32:20had one line
32:21that many fans
32:22struggled to understand
32:23clearly.
32:24Take a listen.
32:25Can you help me?
32:48da, da, da, da,
32:49my brain.
32:50I could steal this one.
32:51Please do.
32:51I have no idea.
32:53Occupy.
32:53Oh, really?
32:54Isn't that what he was saying?
32:55Kitty has the points.
32:56Can you help me?
32:57Occupy my brain.
32:58Sorry, Ed.
33:01Don't you reckon
33:01the whole show's better
33:03when you can steal?
33:05Yeah.
33:05Yeah, I agree.
33:06Well, that's in play
33:07for the rest of the show.
33:08All right, well,
33:09give Ursula a first go.
33:11You're up next, Ursula.
33:12The Prince of Darkness
33:13and First Man of Metal
33:14took to the stage
33:15in Cincinnati
33:16in 1992
33:17to perform
33:17the Black Sabbath
33:18anti-war protest song
33:20War Pigs.
33:32We'll stop it there
33:32and ask you, Ursula,
33:34what does Aussie
33:34throw into the crowd?
33:36Well, can I just say
33:36I've had those eyes before
33:38when you're sleeping
33:38with your kid
33:39and they pee in the bed
33:40and you're not.
33:44Is it water?
33:46Is it water?
33:49Sorry, I've just
33:50peed my seat.
33:51That's right.
33:52Was that your answer
33:53there, Ursula?
33:54Yeah, bucket of water.
33:55Can I steal?
33:57Yeah.
33:57Blood.
33:58No.
33:59The blood of a bat.
34:00The blood of a small child.
34:02Stop your stealing
34:03because I think Ursula
34:04may have it quite correct.
34:06Take a look.
34:09It's water.
34:11Whoa.
34:11Rock and roll.
34:14Tom, but your reaction
34:16made it seem like
34:17I might be wrong.
34:18Well, you know.
34:20You're sending mixed signals.
34:21I was.
34:21I think that wig
34:22is giving you dementia.
34:23Take that off.
34:24And all too soon,
34:25that brings us to the end of...
34:28Aussie.
34:29Aussie.
34:30Aussie.
34:31Back with more
34:32have you been paying attention.
34:34Come on up to this.
34:42APPLAUSE
34:46Well, that's your watch.
34:47Have you been paying attention?
34:49Hands on buzzers.
34:50Well, this was interesting.
34:52Former Prime Minister
34:53Scott Morrison
34:53has made a rare appearance
34:55in Washington, D.C.
34:56What was the appearance?
34:58Guy.
34:58Dishevelled?
35:00I think he was looking,
35:02you know,
35:03in a suit and tie,
35:04but he was speaking
35:06in front of...
35:06Sam.
35:07Congress.
35:08Yes, yes,
35:08about China's influence
35:10in the region.
35:11Two puzzling scenes
35:12from Japan.
35:13Oh!
35:16Oh, wow.
35:18Oh.
35:21What's going on there?
35:22Guy.
35:23The opening
35:24of Japanese Parliament?
35:27The Usher?
35:28It's not The Usher,
35:29it's the...
35:30Sam?
35:31No, it's a gritty
35:33Japanese remake
35:34of Winnie the Pooh.
35:36You can't...
35:37Winnie the Pooh's
35:38kind of an entry
35:39into the answer.
35:40Ursula?
35:41Are they training
35:42how to deal with bees?
35:43Yeah, they're apparently
35:44having a lot of attacks
35:45across Japan, Ursula,
35:46so that's Japanese police
35:48and...
35:48And the main technique
35:49is telling the bear
35:50to get on the ground.
35:52And when clothing
35:54is happening,
35:55they're just covering
35:56all possibilities.
35:57Points are yours, Ursula.
35:58Well, I believe we have
35:59some video quiz masters
36:00standing by.
36:01Hey, Tom.
36:01And hi, everyone.
36:03I'm Chef Phoenix.
36:04And I'm Chef Ollie
36:05and we're from England.
36:06And we just beat
36:06the world record
36:07for the world's largest
36:09what?
36:09What record
36:10did Chefs Phoenix
36:11and Ollie break?
36:12The world's largest
36:13cook something up
36:14in the sky?
36:16That split screen
36:17was crazy.
36:20I thought it was
36:21one room,
36:22but that's got to be
36:23two places.
36:23That themselves, apparently.
36:25That was weird.
36:25That's super disorienting.
36:28What is the food
36:30that they've cooked up
36:31that's the largest ever?
36:33What do you make big,
36:34do you reckon, guys?
36:35Let's work together
36:36on this one, hey?
36:37Do you think
36:38an omelette
36:39might be a meatball?
36:40Is it a dessert?
36:41No, it's an egg-based.
36:44Ursula.
36:44Is it an omelette?
36:45It's not.
36:46Wow.
36:47Sam.
36:48Is it a boiled egg?
36:50Here we go.
36:52It involves one guy.
36:53It's going to be
36:53a scotch egg.
36:54Oh, Guy,
36:55let's see if you're right.
36:56A scotch egg.
37:00Guy, what technically
37:01is a scotch egg?
37:03What is that?
37:03It's an egg and sausage.
37:05Yeah.
37:06And it's apparently
37:07a pretty easy way
37:09to get into
37:09the Guinness World Record.
37:12Points are yours.
37:13All right,
37:13it's time to look
37:14at all things athletic.
37:24Well, it was a big weekend
37:25for these fans.
37:27What event
37:27were they attending?
37:29Kitty.
37:30A Peruvian drug bust.
37:34A little host at a home.
37:36Japanese lion escape training.
37:39It was actually a guy.
37:41No, this was for a game
37:42of Rugby Union.
37:44Played between the Wallabies
37:45and the British
37:46and Irish Lions.
37:47Indeed.
37:48The Wallabies.
37:49They lost.
37:49Yeah, they love to do that.
37:50But it was on a...
37:53It was on a technicality,
37:55was it?
37:55Well, yeah,
37:56the technicality
37:57was that the other team
37:57scored more points.
38:01Points are yours.
38:02Aussie cyclist
38:03Ben O'Connor was happy.
38:04I couldn't be proud.
38:05Couldn't be more proud
38:06of myself.
38:07What's he proud of?
38:09Nishala?
38:09He pulled off
38:10white bike pants
38:11and he looked phenomenal.
38:12He did.
38:13It is hard to look good.
38:15And the white light...
38:16No, what's he...
38:17He's just done something
38:17pretty impressive, Sam.
38:19Well,
38:20I'm going to go out on a limb
38:21and suggest that he won something.
38:24There you go.
38:25Kitty.
38:26For a steal.
38:27Yes.
38:30It's written on the microphone.
38:31He won the Tour de France.
38:33We might say a stage
38:35of the Tour de France.
38:36Yeah, he won a...
38:37Steal.
38:37Stage.
38:40I'm going to go ahead
38:41and say he won a stage
38:43at the Tour de France
38:44as it says on the microphone.
38:45All right, Ursula,
38:46I'm going to give you the points.
38:47It was the mountain climb
38:48through the Alps.
38:50Well done, Ben.
38:51To a dramatic moment
38:52at the end of stage 17
38:54of the Tour de France.
38:57Oh, yeah.
39:03Wow.
39:03What's the story there?
39:05Kitty.
39:06Are these guys
39:07from the local cafe
39:08and they've just had enough
39:09of the slackers?
39:11Not cafe owners.
39:12They're just stopping them
39:12before they even get to the table.
39:14This was a remarkable moment.
39:16It's not what you think.
39:17Sam.
39:18That guy on the bike,
39:20now on the ground,
39:21is not a real rider.
39:22He was an invader
39:24who just jumped on the field.
39:26Ah.
39:26To a sweet moment
39:28during Greek tennis star
39:29Maria Sakari's
39:30Washington match.
39:31Good work there
39:32for Sakari.
39:33Taking care of
39:34the local wildlife.
39:35Very delicately done.
39:36What happens next?
39:38It's OK, Sam.
39:39Did you say Greek?
39:40Yes.
39:41Did she have
39:42the court concreted?
39:47She has very carefully
39:48taken the little bug
39:49to the side of the court.
39:51Yes, Sam.
39:52Did she fake a back injury
39:54and get work as compensation?
39:56No.
39:57Oh, my God.
39:59Guy.
40:00The ball boy or girl
40:02comes over
40:03and they undo
40:04all her hard work.
40:05They squash the bag.
40:06Oh, my goodness.
40:07Would you look away now?
40:08Yes.
40:08As Guy says,
40:09look away now.
40:11Oh, no.
40:12The ball kit
40:12didn't get the better.
40:15Indeed.
40:16We've got to take a break.
40:17Back with our winner
40:18right after this.
40:28We're back.
40:29Let's close the show out
40:30with a little Rapid Recall.
40:32And tonight's Rapid Recall
40:34is once again proudly
40:35brought to you
40:35by our very good friends
40:37at Yui.
40:37As a wise man once said...
40:39You haven't shopped around
40:40until you've tried Yui.
40:41I see the good folks
40:44at Yui
40:45have finally
40:46done something
40:47about your inability
40:48to walk normally.
40:49I don't know
40:49what you're talking about, Tom.
40:51This is their latest ad.
40:53$262
40:53on her car insurance.
40:55That's right.
40:56That works.
40:56I think that works nicely.
40:58All right.
40:59Start that clock.
41:01Big win for beer drinkers
41:03this week.
41:03What was announced?
41:05Guy.
41:06The end of dry July
41:07and the beginning of...
41:08Yes, that is...
41:08Wet August.
41:10I think it's a rise in prices
41:14for the beer.
41:15Why would that be a big win?
41:17They're supporting something
41:19they love.
41:20Yeah.
41:20Yeah.
41:21So you can drink more.
41:23It's sort of the opposite
41:24but you're in the...
41:24Yeah, the prices are staying
41:27the same.
41:27The taxes have been frozen
41:29for two years.
41:30Thanks, Guy.
41:30Bob Catter broke
41:31with parliamentary tradition
41:32again by refusing
41:34to do what?
41:35Kitty.
41:36To stop doing
41:37the offensive
41:38Stevie Wonder impressions.
41:40I think that's just a casual moment.
41:43Sorry, what's he refusing to do?
41:46Ursula.
41:46A remake of Wigan and Bernie.
41:49But he's on the roll.
41:51Sam.
41:52He's refusing to wear
41:53his neck to Parliament.
41:54Yes.
41:57This was at the opening
41:58of Parliament
41:59I think last Tuesday.
42:00One of the things
42:01they do.
42:01He doesn't do.
42:02He refused to...
42:04Ursula.
42:05Pledge to the king.
42:07Swear allegiance
42:08to King Charles.
42:09These festival goers
42:10have caused outrage
42:11in the small English village
42:12of Ellington.
42:13What's the festival
42:14for King and Kitty?
42:16Is it Plain and Lumpy Palooza?
42:19It should be.
42:22What is that?
42:23It's got a...
42:25It's got a sexual...
42:27Oh, right.
42:28..under tone, Ursula.
42:29Well, they are
42:30wildly unattractive
42:31so I would say
42:32a swingers club thing.
42:34Swing-a-thon 2025,
42:35Ursula.
42:36Give you the points.
42:36I can see the chlamydia.
42:38Yeah.
42:40For the first time
42:42in their 20-year history
42:43F1 team Red Bull
42:45had a race weekend
42:46without what?
42:48Kitty.
42:48Uh, they fired
42:50Ginger Spice's husband.
42:52Yeah, you go.
42:53Christian Horner.
42:54Hey, Kitty.
42:54Sports question for Kitty.
42:56That's pretty nice.
42:59I don't know his name.
43:00Just Mr Spice, I call him.
43:02Mr Spice.
43:03Uber are introducing
43:04a new feature
43:05that allows women
43:06to avoid what?
43:08Sam.
43:09Is it male drivers?
43:11That's it.
43:12No drugs.
43:14Thought I saw a chance
43:15to steal
43:15but you were having
43:16a stroke.
43:21Sam,
43:22they're trying
43:23it in the US
43:24if you want to.
43:25If you'd had a stroke
43:26during the Aussie-Osman
43:27segment,
43:27that would have
43:28worked better.
43:30After years of speculation,
43:32Nintendo has confirmed
43:33what about Mario
43:35and Peach's relationship?
43:37Sam.
43:38They claim
43:39that they're
43:40just good friends.
43:41No.
43:41I answer to you,
43:43where did Baby Peach
43:44come from?
43:47Thank you so much.
43:51I will play the first part.
43:53Thank you, Sam,
43:53that they are
43:54just good friends.
43:55Big announcement
43:55from Lord of the Dance.
43:57Oh, and we're out of time.
43:58Let's check that
43:59final leaderboard
44:00and our winner is
44:01Guy Montgomery.
44:05Congratulations to everyone.
44:06Thanks to everyone
44:07for being part of the show
44:08tonight.
44:09We'll leave you
44:09with a reminder
44:10of the need to pay attention
44:11when showing off
44:12on morning TV.
44:13Oh, yeah!
44:18We've got Australia.
44:19See you all next week.
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