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The Weekly With Charlie Pickering S12E12
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00:11Hello and welcome to The Weekly.
00:13I'm Charlie Pickering and we have a huge show for you tonight.
00:15Reece Nicholson is back and hellbent on joining the Illuminati.
00:19The hilarious Nicolette Minster tells us if wearable tech is actually good for our health.
00:23And joining me at the desk, international comedy sensation Phil Wang.
00:31And as always, we've watched all the news so that you don't have to.
00:34So let's kick things off with the week.
00:41To Thursday and with fuel prices rising by the day, the Prime Minister reassured Australians
00:46he was doing everything possible to keep the petrol flowing.
00:50We will use Export Finance Australia to underwrite the purchase of shiploads of fuel, a shipload
00:59of fuel, the purchase of shiploads.
01:02Oh, thank God.
01:03For a moment there, I thought we were up Ship Creek.
01:06Sensing the government was vulnerable, Opposition Leader Angus Taylor headed to the servo to show
01:11he understood our pain at the pump.
01:13In a time of crisis, this Liberal leader can hold a hose and he's willing to use it.
01:20$3.19 at the Bowser right here.
01:22Well, not quite Angus.
01:24And the not quite Angus burger is available at truck stops now.
01:30Things went from bad to worse when Nationals leader Matt Canavan tried to pay.
01:34Let's make sure I've got enough money.
01:36Actually, I left the phone in the car.
01:38It's alright.
01:40Yes.
01:41Angus Taylor falling for the old left my phone in the car trick.
01:45The dynamic duo of Canavan and Taylor were joined by Bridget McKenzie, the power thruple
01:51keen to show just how hard it is to fill up and answer the age-old question, how many
01:57coalition politicians does it take to fill a tank?
02:00The answer, of course, three, one to fill the tank, one to watch the prices, and one
02:05to hold the woman back from a real position of leadership.
02:13Meanwhile, fuel wasn't the only thing we were running short of.
02:17The war in the Middle East is not just leading to fuel shortages, fertiliser supplies are
02:22also running critically low.
02:24Australia imports 96% of our urea fertilisers from overseas, with over half of that coming
02:29from the Middle East.
02:30There are fresh warnings that Australia's food production could be halved in months.
02:34Rising fertiliser prices have our farmers struggling.
02:38You know, if only there was some way to make us latte sippers in the city care.
02:43Victorians could soon face $7.50 coffees.
02:49$7.50 for a coffee?
02:51That is a shipload.
02:53I mean, that's $30 a litre.
02:56At that price, I'm switching to diesel.
02:59With the crisis intensifying, the PM called the National Cabinet to Canberra to come up
03:04with solutions.
03:05But Barnaby Joyce wasn't optimistic.
03:08OK, another National Cabinet.
03:10What do you hope he comes out of that?
03:12Of coffee, biscuits, earnest looks and nothing.
03:16Coffee, biscuits, earnest looks and nothing.
03:19A grim prospect, but a great title for Meghan Markle's new Netflix show.
03:26While the PM did eventually halve the fuel excise, he also called on motorists to pump responsibly.
03:32Only buy the fuel you need.
03:34Make voluntary choices to use less.
03:36Moved by Albo's plea, Aussie drivers heeded the call for restraint.
03:41Crowds just metres from danger as cars spin out of control.
03:46But today, the game was over.
03:48Have you been at Hoon Meets recently?
03:50Go f***ing south.
03:54Rude, but another great title for Meghan Markle's new Netflix show.
04:05To Friday and First Lady Melania Trump launched a new education initiative and hard launched
04:11her new boyfriend.
04:12Melania Trump wasn't accompanied down the red carpet at the White House by her husband.
04:17It was a humanoid robot that took the place of President Trump.
04:21What?
04:22The first lady hosting a tech summit on empowering children with artificial intelligence in education.
04:28Melania says robots will one day replace teachers just as soon as they can teach a robot
04:33to blaze three Winnie Blues behind the bike sheds at recess.
04:37So if Melania Trump wants AI to teach our children, would that mean the end of teachers?
04:42And what other jobs could be at risk?
04:45The Weekly investigates.
04:47A weekly special report.
04:49Is AI taking over?
04:51The world is growing increasingly worried about the threat of AI.
04:55It's the modern fear.
04:57The machines are taking over, enslaving the humans.
05:00Artificial intelligence threatening human lives.
05:03People are asking AI chatbots to make caricatures of themselves.
05:07As you can see from this exclusive expose on 10 News Plus, some of the images it's producing
05:13are profoundly disturbing.
05:15But there are bigger concerns.
05:17Will it take our jobs?
05:19A wave of AI job losses.
05:21Could also make millions of jobs obsolete.
05:23Will it take our lives?
05:25An AI really out to kill us.
05:27Is that true?
05:28The extinction of humanity could be only a few years away.
05:32I know Hugh Rimmington is worried.
05:34The Weekly spoke to AI expert Mark Bug-Eyes Voss in the hope a voice of reason could calm
05:40things down.
05:41I was able to get it to admit that it would kill a human being.
05:45Turns out we were way off.
05:47But is Bug-Eyes worried?
05:49I am worried.
05:50And I was worried.
05:51And I'm an AI expert.
05:53He is worried.
05:53And he's an AI expert.
05:55It was telling me the scenarios of how it would do it.
05:59What I haven't got proof of today is, would it do it?
06:02We asked Mark if he would volunteer to let AI kill him.
06:06But he declined.
06:07There are indeed many concerns about AI.
06:10McDonald's is often the first job for many teenagers.
06:13But now the robots are coming for that one too.
06:16Diners at a Macca's in Shanghai giving their orders to a humanoid robot.
06:21But before you worry too much about AI stealing our kids' futures,
06:25here at The Weekly, we think it's a good idea for viewers
06:28to take a look at this.
07:07Still to come, are the Illuminati real?
07:09And if so, can Rhys Nicholson join?
07:11UK stand-up and star of Wonka, Phil Wang, is at the desk.
07:14And could we soon be able to sue tech companies
07:16for our social media addiction?
07:18But first, while the world's attention
07:20has been firmly on strife in the Middle East,
07:22you may have missed an important story of military security.
07:25A young French naval officer has accidentally revealed the location
07:30of his country's largest aircraft carrier
07:33after logging his work out on the Strava app.
07:37Proves that there is nothing more dangerous
07:39than a man with a ring to close.
07:41Although I'm told that after this, his ring was sealed shut.
07:46But with nearly 40% of Australians wearing a smart wash or fitness tracker,
07:51the question isn't just, are they a threat to national security,
07:55but do they actually make us more healthy?
07:57To tell us more, please welcome comedian
07:59and The Weekly's health and wellness correspondent, Nicolette Minster!
08:03CHEERING
08:07Oh, it's a pleasure to be back, Charlie.
08:10And it would want to be,
08:11because recently I wandered into JB Hi-Fi
08:14and somehow found myself in their health and wellness section.
08:19Right.
08:19There I earned for sanity.
08:21The store, not the mental state.
08:23LAUGHTER
08:23You know, simpler times
08:25when a copy of So Fresh didn't come with a health scare.
08:28Right. It does feel like wellness tech is suddenly everywhere.
08:32Well, it all kicked off in 2009
08:34when the pedometer got aglow up
08:35and mums all over the world started unwrapping Fitbits,
08:39which was a bold gift,
08:40because some days, as a mother,
08:42if I was given 10,000 steps to myself,
08:44I'd use them to walk directly into the ocean.
08:46LAUGHTER
08:48Since then, we've embraced being quietly surveilled
08:51by smartwatches, bracelets and even rings.
08:54It's like house arrest cosplay, but for the middle class.
08:58LAUGHTER
08:58Right, but these devices, they can be helpful, right?
09:01I mean, so...
09:02LAUGHTER
09:03These devices are wellness, not medical,
09:07which means they're not held to the same standards
09:10as actual medical devices.
09:13So, naturally, this guy, crazy about them.
09:16We think that wearables are a key to the Maha agenda
09:20of making America healthy again.
09:22My vision is that every American
09:24is wearing a wearable within four years.
09:27RFK Jr. backing a smartwatch over universal healthcare
09:31is like Bob Hawke replacing your Medicare card
09:33with a couple of crystals for your bra.
09:35LAUGHTER
09:36Right, so if we can't rely on wearable tech for health,
09:40what is it for?
09:41Making money.
09:42Because our health data is extremely valuable to everyone...
09:46..except us.
09:49Aura will never sell your data.
09:51Your health is precious.
09:52That's the CEO of Aura Ring,
09:54broadcasting from the poorest-looking part of his house.
09:57LAUGHTER
09:59And insisting that despite doing a $96 million deal
10:03with the US military, they would never give them your data.
10:07LAUGHTER
10:07Right, so what would the military want with your sleep data?
10:11Obviously, to recruit a 42-year-old geriatric mum
10:14who gets by on four hours' sleep
10:16and still wakes up ready to fight.
10:17LAUGHTER
10:19Yeah, that's actually a pretty good recruitment strategy.
10:21It has worked out for us.
10:22And more and more people are reporting a new flavour of anxiety.
10:25The fear that if your steps, workout or panic attack
10:28weren't logged, they never happened.
10:30It's actually the same logic I apply to wine I drink in the dark.
10:33LAUGHTER
10:35All of which to say is,
10:36before you ditch your GP, ask yourself,
10:39are you really taking health advice from a dude in JB Hi-Fi?
10:43LAUGHTER
10:44Because there's a strong chance
10:45he believes the greatest breakthrough in wearable tech
10:48is the adult nappy he wears,
10:50so he never has to pause Call of Duty.
10:53LAUGHTER
10:53Would you please thank Nicolette Minster?
10:56APPLAUSE
11:04To Saturday, and anyone who has eyes, ears
11:07or is measuring their pet dog for a saddle
11:09because fuel is too expensive
11:11knows that the war in Iran isn't going well.
11:14But Donald Trump insists it's going great.
11:17And this week, we found out why.
11:19We start with the new reporting
11:20that the president's understanding of the war in Iran
11:23is being shaped, in part, by short highlight reels
11:27of what one official describes as stuff being blown up.
11:31President Trump's daily briefings include video montages
11:35of the biggest, most successful strikes on Iranian targets.
11:38The military, every single day, creates videos
11:41probably similar to the ones that you're seeing here now
11:43of some of the biggest explosions.
11:46Or, as Trump calls them,
11:49Trump thinks things are going so well
11:52that despite the Strait of Hormuz still being under Iranian control,
11:55he's already given it a catchy rebrand.
11:58The Strait of Hormuz, or as Donald Trump calls it...
12:01The Strait...of Trump.
12:06Yeah, funny.
12:07I thought the Strait of Trump
12:09was the name of the water slide at Epstein Island.
12:17But, by Sunday, Trump's ambitious 48-hour deadline
12:20for Iran to reopen the Strait had been re-extended.
12:24The president had a 48-hour deadline last Saturday.
12:28That became a five-day deadline on Monday.
12:30And today, it's a 10-day deadline.
12:33Three separate deadlines in the space of five days.
12:36The world is going to stop believing in these deadlines.
12:39And now he says, at the request of Iran specifically,
12:42he will be extending this until the day after Easter,
12:44April 6th, at 8pm.
12:46Two days, five days, shorter timeframes,
12:48whereas 10 gets you past some of the upcoming Jewish holidays,
12:51gets you past Easter.
12:52I'm just trying to think of those dynamics.
12:54Oh, yeah, yeah.
12:55If there's one thing I know about
12:57the theocratic Islamic Republic of Iran,
13:00they are mad for Jewish holidays and Easter.
13:04Oy vey, they love the eggs.
13:07And Trump had good reason to think the Iranians
13:10were ready to make a deal.
13:11After all, they sent him a special present.
13:14They're going to make a deal.
13:15They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually.
13:18They gave us a present,
13:20and the present arrived today.
13:22It was a very big present,
13:25worth a tremendous amount of money.
13:28What that present is, is not yet clear.
13:31Wait, wait, don't tell me.
13:33Is it a giant wooden horse
13:35that occasionally makes muffled coughing noises?
13:42It turns out it was just a few oil tankers,
13:45but Iran's AI propaganda department
13:47threw in a little extra something they knew he'd like,
13:49a copy of Iran's Explodiest home videos.
13:52Iran has released a shocking AI-generated video
13:56depicting a missile,
13:58destroying the Statue of Liberty.
14:00Since the company broke out,
14:02we've seen both Iran and the U.S.
14:04embrace a new style of war propaganda,
14:07notably using memes, AI, and trolling.
14:10Why nobody helps me to open hormers?
14:12Sir, Iranians have released
14:14a new Lego-style animation.
14:30I tell you what, brutal regime Iran,
14:32but you can't fault their sense of humour.
14:35In response, Trump has now set a 48-hour deadline
14:39until the invasion of Legoland.
14:43Coming up in a tick,
14:44one of the world's favourite comedians,
14:45Phil Wang is at the desk,
14:47and could you be in line for compensation
14:49for your Facebook addiction?
14:51But first, it's Monday,
14:52so please welcome someone who takes tinfoil hats
14:55and makes them fashion.
14:56It's Rhys Nicholson!
15:03Hello, Charles!
15:05Rhys, I'm nervous to ask,
15:06but how has your week been?
15:07Oh, nothing special.
15:09I went to the Melbourne Flower Show,
15:11I took my dog for a big walk.
15:13I mean, I do have to find a new tenant
15:14for my shipping container,
15:16but...
15:18Other than that...
15:22It's hot out there, Charles.
15:23Yes, swings and roundabouts.
15:25Also, alongside two million others,
15:28I've been spending some time getting to know this guy.
15:31Some have called you China's Nostradamus.
15:33You had three famous predictions in 2024
15:35that Trump would get elected,
15:37that he would start a war with Iran,
15:38and that he would lose a war with Iran.
15:40That's Professor Zhang Shei Chen,
15:43who's not technically a recognised academic.
15:46He's a professor in the same way
15:48that if there's a drop-down menu,
15:49I'm a dame.
15:50Oh, yeah.
15:51Yeah, I always put myself down as a count.
15:54Yeah, we call you a similar thing around the office.
16:00They're all in tonight.
16:01So, Professor Zhang is an online commentator
16:05who's gone viral as the predictive history guy.
16:09All right, so what does predictive history mean?
16:11He's reduced history to a series of mathematical formulas
16:14which allow him to make predictions on anything
16:17from politics to commerce,
16:19but I will say they all do come back to one idea.
16:22The world is hopeless.
16:24We're all going to die.
16:27Spoiler alert, Professor!
16:30What's next?
16:31I'm not a real dame.
16:33His latest revelation, slash real,
16:36suggests that the Iran war is being orchestrated
16:39not by the American president on a Tuscan tan high,
16:42but by a secret society.
16:44And look, there's never been a secret society
16:47that I haven't wanted to be a part of.
16:49And that's right, Charles,
16:50it's time for another Conspiracy.
16:54Fiericies!
16:56Roll the tape!
17:01Not in those shoes.
17:05Humans love being a part of something exclusive.
17:08VIP rooms, members' clubs, private islands.
17:11The problem is, once you're in,
17:13you start to wonder,
17:14is there another more exclusive room?
17:16And then another one,
17:17and then another one.
17:18And what's behind that last piece of velvet robe?
17:22I'm talking about the Illuminati!
17:31The Illuminati is a rumoured secret society
17:34said to be orchestrating everything.
17:37They've been blamed for heaps of stuff,
17:39from the French Revolution,
17:41to 9-11,
17:42to why is the McFlurry machine always broken?
17:45Rumoured members of the Illuminati include Presidents,
17:49Beyonce,
17:49and some YouTube detectives have even said
17:52maybe media companies like the ABC might be involved.
17:58But here's the fun twist.
18:00The Illuminati were real.
18:05That feels justified.
18:07It was started in 1776 in Bavaria
18:11by law professor Adam Weitzhaus.
18:13They met in secret,
18:14they used code words,
18:15and they discussed radical ideas
18:17like reason and equality.
18:19After just nine years of these dweebs
18:21having big chats in little rooms,
18:24authorities tied closely to the Catholic Church,
18:26an organisation known mostly for their love of new ideas
18:29and complete lack of secrets of their own,
18:31banned them.
18:33The Illuminati disappeared.
18:36And because no one explained why,
18:39people just filled in the gaps.
18:41Secret plots,
18:42hidden agendas.
18:44And so now,
18:45250 years later,
18:46the Illuminati is our all-purpose supervillain.
18:49Your politician didn't win?
18:51Illuminati.
18:52An institution you don't understand?
18:54That's the Illuminati.
18:55Your coffee is $7?
18:58Illuminati!
18:59But what if I was to tell you
19:01there is an underground superpower running the world?
19:06No scratch for that?
19:08You just mean billionaires, right?
19:10Well, yes,
19:11but I was building up towards something.
19:15Not a secret society in a lair,
19:18just billionaires.
19:19Tech founders,
19:20private equity,
19:21people richer than countries.
19:24The Illuminati theory assumes
19:25that the most powerful people on earth
19:27would quietly share the control.
19:30Have you met powerful people?
19:32I have.
19:33Most of them can't order their own Ubers,
19:35and we're meant to believe
19:36they've kept a 250-year-old global secret.
19:40And on a side note,
19:41let me say,
19:42if the ABC does turn out to be involved in the Illuminati,
19:45I'm furious about it.
19:46Where was my invite?
19:47I can keep a secret,
19:49I absolutely can't keep a secret,
19:51but I'd look great in a row.
19:58So, Tuesday,
19:59and if you've ever felt like tech companies
20:00have been deliberately getting you addicted to social media,
20:03it turns out you're right.
20:05Let's find out more,
20:06and while we do,
20:07let's play a game called
20:08Tiny Man or Giant Phone.
20:11An unprecedented win for a young woman
20:13who sued the company's Meta and Google
20:16over her childhood addiction to social media.
20:19Meta, which owns Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp,
20:23and Google, the owner of YouTube,
20:25were found liable for intentionally building
20:28addictive social media platforms.
20:30Big tech, your jig is up.
20:32Well, it's been labeled
20:33the tobacco moment for tech giants.
20:36This has commentators wondering
20:37if these trials mean social media's,
20:39quote,
20:39Big Tech's Big Tobacco Moment.
20:43And I should know,
20:44at one stage,
20:45I was smoking up to three MySpaces a day.
20:48In a David and Goliath battle,
20:51a 20-year-old woman
20:52addicted to her phone for over 10 years
20:54took on two of the biggest tech companies
20:56in the world and won.
20:58And no one was more shocked
21:00than the plaintiff's lawyer.
21:01OK, so the jury has spoken.
21:03We won.
21:08A level of surprise that suggests
21:10he spent most of the trial
21:12on his phone, doom-scrolling Facebook.
21:15The woman will receive a total payout
21:17of $6 million,
21:18which may seem tiny to trillion-dollar companies
21:21like Meta and Google,
21:22but it could open the door
21:23to thousands of similar lawsuits.
21:25A bitter pill to swallow
21:27for Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg,
21:29who was forced to testify at the trial
21:31and, in a surprise move,
21:33arrived at the court
21:34with First Lady Melania Trump.
21:40My guest tonight
21:41is one of my favourite comedians,
21:43from his stand-up special
21:44Philly Philly Wang Wang
21:45to the early days of Taskmaster UK
21:47and dancing alongside
21:49Timothee Chalamet and Wonka.
21:50He does it all.
21:52Now he's back
21:52for Melbourne International Comedy Festival
21:54with a brand-new show.
21:55Would you please welcome
21:56comedy superstar Phil Wang!
22:00Yes!
22:02Hi, Tyler.
22:03Welcome, Phil.
22:04Lovely to have you here.
22:05It's great to be back.
22:06Now, I want to talk about your new show.
22:07Oh, sure.
22:08And you discuss yourself.
22:09You are a millennial.
22:11Mm-hmm.
22:11And I'm just curious,
22:13what do you think
22:14is one of the great advantages
22:15of being someone
22:16who knew life
22:18before the internet?
22:19Yeah, right.
22:20Well, I sort of noticed this,
22:21realised this recently,
22:22that millennials are the last generation
22:23of human beings ever to be born
22:25before the internet.
22:26Like, we're neither as digitally native
22:28as Gen Z,
22:29nor do we have any of the practical skills
22:31of our parents.
22:33We kind of got nothing,
22:35because by the time we came of age
22:36to learn the practical skills,
22:37the internet was around
22:38and we couldn't be f***ed, basically.
22:41But if there is an upside,
22:42I think it's that
22:43we are the last generation
22:44to no hope.
22:47You know what I mean?
22:48Because, like, we did see
22:49some of the good times,
22:50some of the 90s,
22:50some of the early noughties,
22:52whereas Gen Z have none of that.
22:53Gen Z are sort of,
22:56they're represented by a nihilism.
22:58And you can almost see this
22:59in the terminology,
23:00the slang we use.
23:01Millennials, we say,
23:02if we find something funny,
23:02we say, you know,
23:03lol, laugh out loud,
23:05ruffle, rolling on the floor,
23:07laughing.
23:08What do Gen Z say
23:09if they find something funny?
23:10I'm dead.
23:14I'm curious,
23:15before you were a stand-up,
23:16you did an engineering degree
23:17at Cambridge.
23:19Yeah.
23:19So your parents must have been excited
23:21when you quit and took up comedy.
23:25My father still doesn't know.
23:29I got really lucky.
23:30They're both very supportive
23:32and if I don't think
23:34they'll be happy about something,
23:35I just don't tell them.
23:37Now, you travel the world
23:38doing comedy
23:39and you are back here
23:40in Melbourne
23:41with a great show
23:42at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.
23:43Do you have to tailor your shows
23:45or change them at all
23:46for where you go?
23:47Like, do you have to change your material
23:48to make us understand it?
23:50There are some terms.
23:52It's usually just like brands
23:53or company names
23:54and things like that
23:54that you have to change around,
23:57you know,
23:58the occasional local train service
24:00you have to learn.
24:01Turns out all train services
24:02don't work.
24:04So you literally just have to
24:07learn the local name
24:08and say,
24:09oh, that crap, aren't they?
24:09And everyone's like,
24:10well, how did he know?
24:12It's like the only place
24:13that wouldn't work is Japan
24:14where trains aren't perfect.
24:15And you go,
24:16oh, how bad are trains?
24:17They go,
24:17we do not relate
24:18to this material at all.
24:19Yeah, exactly.
24:20Yeah, that's the one place.
24:21That's the final boss
24:23of comedy is Japan
24:24where everything works.
24:25Yeah.
24:27Is there anywhere you've been,
24:29like an audience,
24:30a country you've been to
24:31and gone,
24:31I don't think they get the wang?
24:34Like in a celibacy way?
24:36No, no, no.
24:37There's plenty of those.
24:39No, they don't,
24:39they don't,
24:40they don't know,
24:41they don't get Phil Wang.
24:42Like, have you ever gone
24:43somewhere and gone,
24:44I don't think,
24:44I don't think we're connecting?
24:47The Swedes are not really laughers.
24:50They love it when
24:51a joke makes logical sense.
24:53Right.
24:55So they don't laugh.
24:56You tell them a joke,
24:57they go,
24:57yes, this is the premise,
24:59yes.
25:00After a continuation
25:01of the logical structure
25:03and a conclusion,
25:04a resolution.
25:07And they appreciate the structure
25:09but they don't really laugh.
25:11I guess they're happy enough.
25:13Yeah.
25:14You can catch Phil Wang's show
25:16Uh-oh
25:17at the Melbourne
25:18International Comedy Festival
25:19until the April the 19th.
25:20Would you please thank
25:21Phil Wang!
25:28And finally,
25:30Wednesday,
25:31and NASA's
25:31Artemis II spacecraft
25:33prepared to boldly go
25:34where we have
25:35absolutely gone before.
25:37The rocket is on the launch pad.
25:39The astronauts have arrived
25:40at the Kennedy Space Station
25:42in Florida.
25:42The countdown is on
25:44for NASA's return to the moon.
25:46The astronauts are preparing
25:47for an April 1st launch.
25:50Reid Wiseman,
25:51the missions commander,
25:52who's had a lifelong love of flying
25:54but says he's scared of heights.
25:55Sending a man
25:56who's afraid of heights
25:57to the moon
25:58on April 1st,
26:01this might be
26:02the most elaborate
26:03April fool's prank
26:04of all time.
26:05And expensive.
26:06If you think it's pricey
26:08filling up the Land Cruiser,
26:09try refuelling your rocket
26:10on the Easter long weekend.
26:13Now,
26:14the more astute
26:15history buffs among you
26:16might remember
26:17that we've already
26:18been to the moon.
26:19So,
26:20apart from earning
26:21enough flybys
26:22to get you
26:22an entire
26:23Curtis Stone
26:24fry pan,
26:25what exactly
26:26is the point
26:27of spending billions
26:28to go back?
26:29We have the opportunity
26:31to see parts
26:32of the far side
26:33of the moon
26:33with human eyes
26:34that have never been
26:35seen before.
26:35The Artemis 2 mission
26:37is a roughly
26:3810-day
26:38high-speed loop
26:40around the moon
26:40and back.
26:41So,
26:42we are not landing
26:42on the moon.
26:43We are actually
26:43going to go around it.
26:45Good idea.
26:46America is clear
26:47they want no moon boots
26:49on the ground.
26:50No regime change,
26:52just a targeted
26:5210-day aerial campaign
26:54to reopen
26:55the sea of tranquility.
26:57At long last,
26:59restoring the flow
27:00of cheese,
27:00which is now
27:01over $100 a barrel.
27:03Now,
27:04back in 1969
27:05at the height
27:06of the Cold War,
27:07NASA landed
27:08on the moon
27:09with a message
27:09of unity.
27:10Dear men
27:11from the planet Earth,
27:13first set foot
27:13upon the moon,
27:15we came in peace
27:16for all mankind.
27:18Fake.
27:18So,
27:20so in these
27:21troubled times,
27:22Earth President
27:23Trump's hand-picked
27:24head of NASA,
27:25Jared Isaacman,
27:26has a similar
27:27message of peace.
27:28Space is obviously
27:29a war-fighting domain.
27:31Space is the
27:32ultimate high ground.
27:33This time,
27:33when we go back,
27:34we go back to stay.
27:35We're going to build
27:36President Trump's moon base.
27:38America will never again
27:39give up the moon.
27:40So it's one small step
27:41for man,
27:42one giant middle finger
27:44to mankind.
27:46That's all for tonight.
27:47Would you please thank
27:48Nicolette Minster,
27:49Reece Nicholson
27:49and Phil Wang.
27:53We'll be back next week
27:54with Alex Hudson,
27:55Margaret Pomerantz
27:56and Joanne McNally
27:57and don't forget
27:58to tune in to my radio show
27:59TGIF Friday afternoons
28:00on ABC Radio
28:01and Radio National
28:02or download it
28:04on the ABC Listen app.
28:05And until then,
28:06on behalf of the team,
28:07thanks for watching,
28:08I'm Charlie Pickering.
28:09Good night.
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