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The Claudia Winkleman Show S01E04 FTP
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00:00He's planned us a little getaway out in the new forest, so we'll we'll be in a shepherd's hut with
00:05our cute dog and do some birding
00:12You do your birding I swear to God I hope that's code
00:48I
00:48Have just discovered that a dog called Rupert is scared of his local butchers
00:53Apparently not uncommon message me if you would like more details
00:57Anyway, we have a very lovely audience and some brilliant guests are joining us on the sofa. He's extremely funny
01:04He's here to talk about his latest stand-up tour. It's Russell Howard
01:18Show and Loki she has a brand new film fuse. It's Google and battle rock
01:27Oh
01:28Thank you
01:35And singer who is behind everything from Sleepless in Seattle to Mamma Mia. She has a new album out. It's
01:42Rita Wilson
01:51And he is the award-winning actor best known for x-men filth and atonement
01:57He's just directed his very first film. It's the brilliant James McAvoy
02:10Thank you
02:14Thank you for coming because you've come from very far, but you love London used to live here. I do
02:20love London. Yes
02:21I went to drama school here at lambda very long time ago, but it was super fun and it was
02:26it was you know
02:27Like you're living in England. You're in London. I saw so much theater. It was absolutely fantastic
02:33Yeah, so when you come back you like I remember this little shop or I want to have this soup
02:39from here
02:39Oh, no, no, you have to understand like I was on a student's budget and so in in America
02:45We have this thing called the freshman 10, which is when you go off to college you immediately gain 10
02:50pounds
02:50And I definitely had that because my diet was like mcdiddies mcvitties
02:55Did I say mcdiddies?
02:57Guys we're going to mcdiddies
02:59But that was mcdiddies. We all did that in freshman year
03:04Yeah, we all did that. I'll have the double ditty
03:09I'll have the double ditty and an std test
03:11But mcdiddies was also mcdonald's because it was like french fries or mcdiddies. That was my diet and my body
03:18loved it
03:19Yeah, you were like, thank you. I will yes exactly give me more please russell
03:24For you bristol or london
03:26Well, i'm from bristol, so I you know, I prefer bristol, but it's no I like I like london. I'm
03:32a fan
03:32I I got I got mugged here once and it was the most but it was the most middle-class
03:38mugging
03:38So a friend of mine had she'd just given birth, so I got some cupcakes
03:42So i'm carrying these cupcakes up this hill and this kid's probably about 15
03:46Really pasty looking kid just stands in front of me and goes oi
03:51You better give me one of them cupcakes
03:55I suddenly kind of went you can't have them that's my friend. She's just given birth and this kid suddenly
04:01went i'm sorry tell her congratulations
04:02And you said this is such a beautiful moment of like
04:09You kind of go from fear to like yeah
04:12And i like it um so guys i'd argue that glasgow's the best town i've had the best night of
04:17my life
04:17You could also get in an argument about that in glasgow
04:22That sounds like i'm slagging off my hometown it is it's the best it is it's fantastic a man from
04:26latvia carried me above his head in glasgow
04:30No, it's just the most fun everybody there wants you to have a good time they're incredibly proud of glasgow
04:36Yeah, if eilish people hadn't already invented the crack we would be inventing the crack
04:42Gugu you have been to scotland i yeah i went to glasgow actually the first time um when i was
04:4911
04:50i was on i don't know if anybody remembers the um
04:54Children's game show fun house oh yes anybody remember that yeah yeah yeah yeah
04:59It was a game show like it there was the red team and the the yellow team it was presented
05:04by pat sharp yeah
05:06twins kind of cheerleaders melanie and martina oh my god yeah
05:12Did you win what what could you win like the twins we won
05:17We won i remember this really like dates it now i won like an amstrad pc yes
05:23um i won like dry slope skiing lessons which
05:29this is so depressing
05:33Okay now
05:34Gugu is it true that you start every day with with a power pose oh
05:38i mean not every day but i do love a power pose what does that mean tell me
05:43um i oh my gosh i i watched this ted talk a few years ago about the idea of you
05:48know how to change
05:49your mood by changing your posture or changing your body and you know that if you can kind of
05:53you slump your shoulders and you know you love something well you can also just feel a bit more
05:58down or a bit more kind of depressed
06:02but if you like really
06:04but if you want like a quick way to kind of just trick your you know your body into feeling
06:11and your
06:12mind into feeling more uplifted you can do a power pose i prefer the sort of it's a bit hard
06:16to do in
06:16this dress but like the arms out kind of like you know show me to the universe can everyone do
06:22it
06:22everyone can do it if you're able join us yeah technically you should stand up okay and just
06:27kind of like arms up in a v yes chest to the sky and just like just breathe for a
06:34second feel
06:34like i'm in a cult yeah i feel like it don't you feel like a little bit more confident a
06:38little bit
06:39more like joyful okay okay it worked yeah it worked it worked that was an oprah
06:52so thank you very much for the power post uh james mcavoy you've just directed your first film did yes
07:00why this film why that oh man there's many many reasons why this film i knew i wanted to make
07:05films about we pull from lower income backgrounds council estates or schemes as we call them in scotland
07:12which is why i call it california scheming and um and there was just nothing coming in that was
07:18getting me excited that was going to be funny and entertaining as well as about the realities of
07:22coming from that kind of community and then california scheming came along and it just did everything that
07:28i needed to do it's so much heart it had so much comedy it's so much pathos but then it
07:34was also kind
07:35of about one of the reasons i think we maybe don't have more scottish films more regularly and that to
07:40me
07:41was just like a perfect package unbelievably it is a true story tell everybody what it's about
07:47two young guys from dundee extremely talented rappers ninja rappers and um they answered a big casting call
07:54for a big record label down in london back in the early noughties like 2002 2003 and uh they got
08:01about
08:01halfway through one of their excellent tracks and they got stopped and laughed at and um they were
08:07they were labeled as the rapping proclaimers and uh so they took yeah right so they were devastated but
08:13they took the note and they went we've got it sacrifice and integrity sacrifice and authenticity
08:18sacrifice everything that is important to the culture of hip-hop which is the streets that made you
08:23and they came back as americans and they basically became it's unbelievable oh my god they came back as
08:30method actors um and they re-recorded all their tracks they didn't change the tracks it was the same music
08:35just with an american accent and they got a record deal for tens of thousands of pounds they cut six
08:41albums they supported eminem d12 they played all over the country they were on mtv umpteen times with
08:46the plan that when they were making it big enough they would go on in their minds jonathan ross and
08:52they
08:53would come out and expose the industry for being i don't know obsessed with the norm yeah and uh and
08:59then of
08:59course that didn't quite happen and they got into the fame and it was two and a half years of
09:03being in
09:04character constantly and if i don't know if you know any method actors but it's not the best thing
09:08for your mental health i wouldn't know no i reckon they were ever tickled your real voice would surely
09:15come out yeah leave it alone you bastard i mean should we have a look at the trailer we would
09:23like to sign you
09:25get the bubbles they actually think you're american yeah but your accents are pure shite i know
09:31we'll release a single and then we'll come out fully scottish and expose those wankers
09:35killin the billy smokin the billy's hotter than chilies you know the dilly leaf you're not in my
09:40water's like mili vanilla everyone loves you
09:46i think i might have screwed empson up
10:08so i'm really glad that you have us on to talk about it thank you claude well i like the
10:12fact not at all that i read that you said sometimes the biggest thing in the room
10:16is an accent well i think sometimes the you're a person when you walk into a room right and you
10:22are
10:22you have infinite possibilities you're capable of anything in the eyes of the people that you're with
10:27and then whatever it is that makes you different sometimes just turns you into that thing only
10:31and that becomes bigger than your potential bigger than you as an individual and i think for scottish
10:37people this isn't every room you walk into as a scottish person it's not every reaction i get but i
10:41definitely walked into a room and suddenly i go from being somebody who might get the job and suddenly
10:48i'm just a wee accent and it becomes a bit reductive and they kind of just make you tiny and
10:52make you just
10:53that one thing and that's sort of game over at that point and look i get it like you know
10:58there are
10:59people who suffer forms of discrimination way way way way way way worse than that but it's a it's the
11:04voice of
11:04an entire nation that takes in many people of different colors creeds genders sexualities all sorts of
11:11things and that voice i think sometimes gets reduced rather than being heard for six million people
11:17i'd love to see more scottish films have you personally have you personally ever been told to
11:29sort of turn it down oh i've been literally told to turn it down and uh i was playing a
11:35particularly
11:35famous scottish role um as a scottish person and was you know was asked to do it as a scottish
11:42person
11:42which was great and brilliant and i'm in rehearsals and the director said to me i won't do his accent
11:47because it's reductive um even though if you paid me i would um how much do you know yeah exactly
11:54uh i ain't cheap cloria um and he goes uh it goes just so you know james every now and
12:00again when
12:01we're on the day i might just ask you to and i was like what do you mean he went
12:05scottish
12:08scottish and he did that voice as well and i was just like what a wallop wow yeah what a
12:14wallop
12:14that's a very good word how did you find directing for the first time and acting because i imagine that
12:22is
12:23that's juggling i wouldn't wish directing and acting on my worst enemy when i see people at bradley
12:27cooper or whatever play big huge leading roles in the director i'm like you must have a self-harming
12:31thing you know um yeah it was it was a nightmare it was like you'd literally be going like oh
12:37i need
12:37some more love or i need more comedy or i mean i just need more connection or whatever and somebody's
12:41whispering and you're gonna we can't get the port-a-loose for tomorrow so we have to change
12:45that change the location because if anybody needs a we won't be able to make it happen
12:52and you're like okay okay and if you could just have more love in your eyes right now and actually
12:59where's the nina shitter um yeah it was it was mental and then you're having to go and act and
13:04then
13:04you're on your weight your mark somebody's giving you more chat about the port-a-loose and it was it
13:08was
13:08it was a lot i had no idea the director has to deal with the toilet facilities there was a
13:13lot of talk
13:14about everything there was a lot of talk about toileting um i like the fact that you because you
13:21didn't have the biggest budget you were careful and you had to fill a stadium right or you had to
13:26fill a huge venue of 2 000 people 2 000 people at the battlelands yeah it was amazing and we
13:31were
13:31like you know i did atonement which had i know tens of millions in the budget and we could only
13:36manage
13:36like what is that a thousand extras on that and we needed two thousand which would have cost us i
13:41was informed one day maybe offhand that was 350 grand which we couldn't do so we ended up putting
13:46on a gig ourselves roddy and tommy roddy hurt and tommy riley who are amazing musicians and composers up
13:52in glasgow put together a sort of local super band we advertised it and we got 2000 glaswegians to
13:59come and um dress in the naughty's outfits put the phones away and jam out to this amazing naughty's
14:05gig that we put on with this glasgow super band and then if you would stay for a couple of
14:10tracks
14:10from our boys and we thought you know we'll get a couple of takes and five cameras and we'll get
14:15as
14:15much as we can and the glasgow crowd stayed for two hours and our boys just ended up putting on
14:21a real
14:21gig and it was it was electric it was amazing and they do this thing glasgow i don't know if
14:26they did it
14:26back then but they do this thing glasgow at gigs where we go if we appreciate what you do we
14:32shout
14:32can i swear yeah you can bleep it out we shout on mass 2 000 people hear me hear me
14:37here we
14:37fucking go hear me hear me here we fucking go and they just chant it at the singers and they
14:43did it
14:43for our boys and so even though i don't think it was the right time period for that we stuck
14:47it in the
14:48film but yeah it's just you can't not put that in the movie it's amazing i don't think you know
14:54that
14:55this was a movie about rappers but um maybe my agents didn't get to you i i do spit some
15:03flow james
15:04you have you got some fat bars i have some fat bars i mean you're asking us to ask you
15:10to spit
15:10some right now yes all right are you good so i'm gonna spit some flow right now shall i
15:15i might need audience participation what do you need us to do and i just want to
15:25i need a bracket we haven't been drinking i know i need a beat
15:32you drew a picture of my morning but you couldn't make my day i'm walking in your nine but you
15:36never
15:36look my way i'm looking down you darling and every single right your funny flow is born and
15:41your green card's on the way this ain't got shit to do with shampoo so watch your head and shoulder
15:44you're the old and bold enough to fold your yo i told you i'm late afraid of what i made
15:48and played
15:48it for some funky tricks to say you're flipping big put that music in the funky breaks trigger from
15:52the bill town ill town so that's how it feels now the deals that were real so we're still around
15:57don't lamp with your freestyle phantom ain't trying to be handsome think of what you're thinking
16:01because i'm vamping i live and die for hip-hop this is hip-hop for today i give props to
16:05hip-hop so hip-hop hooray
16:07oh my i mean in the sequel yes i think you can bring the mother wilson i did not know
16:28that was
16:29coming i am delighted yes um james tell me when the movie's out movie is coming oh
16:36on april the 10th uh nationwide and all across ireland as well so yeah please get yourselves along
16:44we're really proud of it we definitely will um rita we're going to talk about your album but first
16:55just because uh we need to produce mamma mia i don't know about you tell me is number three coming
17:03how
17:04a share of people sewn dungarees okay okay well um all right let me just say this that tell us
17:13the
17:13truth there no there will always be discussions about a third mamma mia because who wouldn't want
17:19a third mamma mia that is the truth right pure joy it's it's a movie that has given people pure
17:29joy and
17:30happiness i i i mean it's it's just wonderful so yes there are always discussions but there's nothing
17:36definitively to announce okay thank you so much um here's the thing the greek government loved you for
17:45doing it so much they put your face on a stamp that is true i think wow look at that
17:56i mean it's still
17:59i also like it because it's quite bridal it's really isn't it it's very bridal it's divine but you know
18:05what's interesting is i can't get out of my head though this image of people licking the back of my
18:12head it's just so strange do you need it to actually happen so that you can exercise yeah
18:19could you get ready let's go thank you wow that feels good that feels good do you think do you
18:29think the
18:29queen and philip ever did that yeah so rita you're about to release your sixth studio album i have it
18:37here's sound of a woman you said it's your most revealing album yeah i believe what do you it is
18:50it's about different phases of a woman's life you know it's as we come into the world as young girls
18:57were labeled where you know oh what a sweet young girl what a sassy teen oh now you're a good
19:03worker a
19:04student or you're a girlfriend or a wife or a mother or something and all of those things are
19:11parts of who we are but they're not exactly everything that we are look it's like you're
19:15shedding all those images don't you feel like at a certain point in your life like i'm at the age
19:20right now where i just don't care what anybody thinks yeah i don't care what anybody said i've earned
19:24that right yeah everybody should earn it at any point in your life really it shouldn't just be
19:32well you know i've gotten to this age and i don't believe that there is a clock on creativity like
19:39at what point does somebody say oh i'm so sorry yeah you were supposed to do that at 29 and
19:45three
19:45quarters years old and that time has passed who's to say it we're only limited really by our own
19:51perceptions or beliefs about what we tell ourselves yeah absolutely
20:00the album is called the sound of a woman right what is the sound of a woman that's my question
20:08is it i'm gonna ask you that question is it what is it hip-hop it's definitely hip-hop the
20:13sound of a
20:14woman i think is just exactly i say that quite a lot my husband has an idea exactly that's another
20:23one
20:23bit about that i've got a bump yeah go make the bed do his homework no more words one of
20:32my one of
20:33my favorite noises a woman's ever made i was in wow wait a minute wow wow i saw a lady
20:40uh see johnny
20:42depp uh in the streets it's probably about 20 years ago and the noise i'll never do it justice but
20:47she
20:47saw it went it was it was it was so just and you could sort of see it happening as
20:54he's walking
20:54down various women he was just sort of gliding down the street just causing various noises um i can
21:01do something but it's filthy do it just do it right now before no no no no yes
21:21i was just making conversation i can't no no you're doing i'll tell you what i can do
21:26i can do an extraordinary but it's audio only horse impression
21:32do you want to go around the back so that we can only hear you and i have used it
21:38in foreplay
21:43are you ready it's audio just imagine wedding night 28 years guys okay ready okay are you coming
21:52to bed yes i get pretend hooves on i don't great are you ready
22:11that is the sound of a woman
22:17just to be clear
22:20beta let us have a look at your video oh good amazing this is jury of one out today
22:31i don't know
22:32i don't know but i know but i know that i'm confused
22:36pleaded for forgiveness but there really is no use
22:43after everything i've done there's a jury of just one
22:50i don't know but i know that it's me
22:55sorry
22:59thank you thank you and it's out today that song is called jury of one because it's about feeling
23:06guilty you're always guilty like if you're working you feel guilty that you're not at home and with
23:11the kids or with your family and then if you're with your kids and the family at home you're thinking
23:16creatively like oh gosh i feel bad that i'm not working there and i think that guilt has a twin
23:21sister called apology yeah and apology is like women we say i'm sorry all the time for all sorts of
23:27things like somebody could kick me in the knee and be like i'm so sorry my knee was in the
23:31way yeah
23:32okay i'm a fan of both guilt and apologizing exactly i am i quite i'm i'd never mean it no
23:41you know what i mean that's when they're getting it wrong i'm so sorry
23:46just filling in some space um i'm joking unless i did you wrong which i'm very sorry
23:54no i am um one of the songs is called marriage you have been married for 38 years we have
24:02a couple
24:02here who are getting married hello hello there they are oh hi i believe are you getting marriage in like
24:13a week yes yes how are you going to celebrate we're getting married in nottingham yeah lovely and
24:19our reception is at a water park that's a great location yeah yeah water parks guys you are being too
24:25polite i'm sorry i can't do this listen have you have you put down the deposit
24:34deposits are paid but have you ever been to aqualand in benadour no like you don't even have to go
24:43on
24:43the rides to have fun one of the best things is when you watch a big northern man go down
24:50a flume it's just
24:54like because sometimes the trunks arrive before the man but they they they look like haunted babies
25:03they just hear them it's too fast linda it's too far like everything it's but if if your marriage
25:10is has as many highs as that water park has given me oh yeah and i'm sure you can have
25:15a blessed
25:16blessed life yeah are you wearing a bikini and a veil like what's your other look look it's tbc
25:22whether i'll actually go down there oh really okay oh you gotta go down yeah hold it at well you
25:28know
25:28you know i'm in i wasn't i'm in
25:42and congratulations again the answer longevity what's the answer the answer is don't get divorced
25:50very long marriage yeah stay married yeah thank you very much and also don't watch box sets apart
25:58oh yeah i think that's very no binge cheating yeah yeah that's a better way of putting it
26:03no bitching yes rita when is this out please tell us the album is out may 1st the two singles
26:09michelangelo and um sound of a woman are out and jury of one today oh lovely thank you
26:18and and claudia i i should mention this because i forget that i'm going to be touring in the uk
26:24and um europe in november this is perfect yes it's really good it's really good thank you
26:33um rita yes a slight bone to pick with you all right you enjoy camping yeah i love camping so
26:40do
26:40you mean camping as in we're coming pitch up the tent and bring me a pet giraffe or are you
26:47i don't know i've never come no or you're like driving and you're making a stove yes we have one
26:54of
26:54those vans that is you know kitted out with a bed and a kitchen and everything and there's nothing
27:00better than cooking in the outdoors it is so fantastic like i don't know there's something
27:05about being under the stars and there's a lovely little lovely toilet in there so it's very civilized
27:12it's very civilized is it one of those where you have that blue liquid and you have to
27:17no they're they're very high tech now oh are they very very high tech it's always you know what
27:21i mean is that weird exactly he's great and then you're terrible you're not working away you're
27:28shame no it's beautiful and it's really really great yeah but it is that sometimes you're like
27:46i haven't camped for a while but um i remember i was about 23 i was down in new zealand
27:51it was
27:51amazing and i barely saw another living soul that was just backpacking backpacking and i'm in the
27:57middle of the coromando subtropical rainforest and it's night time and there's possums right
28:02and the possums rustle around and do all that kind of stuff i just got so scared this one night
28:07that i got my my gas lamp on and i turned my gas lamp on to cast shadows on my
28:12tent and i got my little
28:14like swiss army knife and i got every little attachment out and i was like i can't get more of
28:18that
28:19you see me you see me i've got i'm i'm i'm carrying
28:23tuned up your baths so with tweezers yeah there's a torch and a pen
28:32you know i didn't really grow up camping only child problems um but um but no i i'm a bit
28:39of a
28:39beginner i did camp for the first time a couple of years ago um on a trip climbing up mount
28:45kilimanjaro
28:47that was kind of in zero to 90. i know i know and i was um yeah i kind of
28:53you know obviously it's like
28:54six seven days and altitude and all of that and you know being a beginner i was like what about
28:59you
29:00know being comfortable and you know i was really i'd maybe glamped you know or something so so i brought
29:06like i bought one little luxury which was like my little goose pillow oh yeah i took that up but
29:12um
29:12everybody everybody laughed at me uh you don't camp i can see that face just because we used to go
29:18camping
29:18loads because we didn't have any money when we were younger so the first time you get into a hotel
29:23it's just incredible yeah like have you been wiping your ass with a leaf and then probably this toilet
29:30roll and like little pots of jam that you can steal yeah i'm good exactly don't get this in the
29:37woods
29:38gugu we have something in common you have a trampoline i bought a trampoline oh yeah yeah who told
29:44you to get a trampoline you know my friend sarah at the beginning of lockdown um took me to this
29:50trampoline class in la and i was like this is amazing like it's so kind of ridiculous but actually
29:58really difficult but kind of fun and really fun and i think you know and so as soon as like
30:03covid hit
30:03i ordered a trampoline because i felt like you know you do like three or four bounces on a trampoline
30:08and
30:08i feel like six years old i bought a little trampoline but with a handle because i'm 64. yes yes
30:15start with the handle you hold on i haven't taken out of it you look like you're riding your own
30:21horse
30:21yeah yeah birthday's a christmas
30:24no biggie um it's the most fun it's the most fun yeah do you know we have the olympic gold
30:35medalist
30:37the best at trampolining in the world brianie you're here what
30:46brianie thank you for being with us um who loves trampolining and it is it's been proven to be like
30:53the best the best exercise yeah so trampoline is so much fun like you've already said um can make
30:58you feel like a superhuman yeah so if you're jumping on the floor really limited you can only jump so
31:03high
31:03but as soon as you get on that trampoline and you're working really hard training hard you can go
31:07up to 10 meters in the air you're flying in the air for like two seconds long and you're super
31:13thrilling
31:13you get to flip around and somersault and it feels like you're riding a roller coaster i half remember
31:18because i remember nothing in my life i half remember somebody telling me that bouncing has a particular
31:23sort of physiological benefit is that right or did i make that up one time no definitely so i think
31:28it was
31:28nasa that said if you do 30 minutes on a trampoline sorry 10 minutes on a trampoline is like 30
31:34minutes
31:34running yeah but also very good for court it just makes us all happy let's all get trampoline yeah yeah
31:45we're going to talk about the film called um fused tell us what it's about um it's a heist action
31:52thriller set in london and um yeah i play a police officer in it there's a discovery of a unexploded
32:00world war ii bomb in london and it's kind of a race against time to evacuate the city but also
32:06there's kind of a twist in it as well and in that there's a well i don't want to give
32:11it away
32:13but it's but it's a very kind of gripping heist thriller and it's with aaron taylor johnson
32:18oh wow leo james myself sam worthington and saffron hawkins what a good cast let us have a clip
32:24please good we detected a heat signature inside the cordon we need to investigate we think people
32:30could still be there right the police have detected an unidentified heat source
32:40gee superintendent what's going on sorry major but we've had to send a car in
32:44we'll relay police radio now to keep you in the loop i'm going to be a very dangerous procedure
32:48i haven't even finished the mitigation wall which means if the bomb detonates i don't even have to
32:53tell you how bad that's going to be i understand major but we can't risk injury to the public
32:58we'll be as quick as we can
33:07you've shadowed police officers didn't you yeah and learned a lot about the work they do
33:11yeah i mean my character is chief superintendent and she is uh her role is what's running gold in
33:17the command control center so i got to visit some command control centers in london and in essex and
33:23talk to some high-ranking female police officers of which there are still very few so um it was really
33:29interesting sort of being in those control centers seeing those cameras of london you know at the switch
33:35of a button you can see pretty much any street or view in london um which is kind of comforting
33:41and
33:41kind of chilling um but um but no it was really really interesting to kind of learn about that
33:46work as i say because to be able to have that you know um perspective from from real police officers
33:51was really really helpful so when can we watch fuse oh it's out today perfect
34:01james i love the fact we were chatting earlier and you said your favorite thing is when you're acting is
34:06watching the person who is acting right in front of like sometimes you're and i love when actually when
34:10you're so in awe yeah oh man sometimes like sometimes really good acting just makes it all seem
34:15seamless and all that kind of stuff sometimes you're working with somebody who's just does something
34:19so good you're like yeah oh my god and then you drop your line and you mess up the whole
34:24scene and
34:25you mess them up but i quite often find myself with really good actors just like mouthing along with
34:30yeah and they'll be like what are you doing i'm like i'm sorry well i'm just in the scene with
34:35you
34:35you're like you're mouthing my lines i'm just like preparing my line um but yeah i've messed a couple
34:42of actors up by doing that oh yeah but how amazing to be because you're nodding you must oh no
34:47yeah i
34:48remember um i did a movie called it's complicated with meryl streep and you're looking at this person you're like
34:55it's meryl streep i can't believe i can't believe it's sophie from sophie's choice and then you just
35:02have to kind of become a professional and do your thing but it that first few moments is definitely
35:08distracting i was like that with your husband oh really i know that we acted together but like
35:13i i would go in he's yeah no he wouldn't let me um we should say who your husband is
35:19just tell the
35:20group yeah you're married too just so you know yes i'm sorry to have to tell you this but um
35:29you
35:30have all this and be married to tom hanks yes and i yep he does deserve that i don't know
35:37why i do this
35:38thing sometimes when i get around famous people when they kind of go like hey what's up what
35:42you're gonna get for lunch and they've just been totally normal and i'm like i feel so uncomfortable
35:47and i go into this weird sort of over like almost put on working class now i'm like all right
35:54man i
35:54know i'm gonna get some chips or something i'm gonna get like i drive a punto you know how would
36:01you
36:01drive a ferrari you know brilliant i'm gonna get some bread with butter you get some caviar and i don't
36:09know why that happens yeah of course i don't like it it's a bit like we know it's weird when
36:13you really fancy somebody yeah but early on you know with the first person i found somebody so
36:18badly when i was 17 he was speak to me and i would just be sick
36:30i went to see rufus wainwright who i'm a big fan of and he invited me to go out for
36:36dinner with
36:36him so we went for dinner it was really exciting you know when you saw you meet your hero and
36:39then
36:39you're up in tea yeah i had some spare jam yeah he had some toilet paper but we were sort
36:49of hanging
36:50out and then he said oh do you want to go and hang out with my friend carrie so yeah
36:54sure so then we
36:55come meet carrie and it was carrie fisher oh so i'm suddenly in this insane i'm around carrie
37:00fisher's house and her dog was eating ice cream and she was about with this i was not with food
37:10but yeah he wasn't doing that i naturally did the vibe so anyway so we were sort of just drinking
37:16and
37:16carrie wasn't but me and rufus were blah blah blah and then they they found out that i was a
37:21stand-up
37:22comedian and they were both like do some car yeah and i was one eye you can't is that really
37:28it doesn't
37:28work like i just and i'm trying to explain that she's like just go into the bathroom come out
37:34how are we here yeah yeah yeah wow but so i i kind of desperately thought right this idea i
37:42had of
37:43like human beings blame animals for our weird behavior um like i've never seen a rat snitch
37:49i've never seen a badger badger i've never seen an elephant in a room go i know
37:52um catfish is my favorite you know catfish someone goes online it tends to be someone else
37:59they don't do that they're not in the sea go show us your tits i'm a dolphin
38:04yeah yeah yeah funny right butter silent and carrie fisher aka princess leia goes people paying money for
38:13everything i was kind of like well you know occasionally and like that i was just i love
38:20that you become the evans oh yeah it was mortifying but it was for whatever reason stand-up is as
38:27soon
38:27as you're told to do it it's it's gone you have started taking your family on tour with you haven't
38:33you because you're doing this massive tour yes you're going with your wife and your 19 month old yes
38:38i've been doing stand-up for 28 years but sort of traveling with those two just makes it really
38:43fun again because then you get to kind of like we're going to manchester this weekend and there's
38:48a transport museum there's a there's a there's a lego land and he's really into diggers like he loves
38:55oh they love so we're we so but basically but i've got these i've got like six gigs and yet
39:02the highlight is the transport museum because i know it's going to blow his mind
39:06i don't know it's that but it's that funny thing of like nothing prepares you for how excited your
39:11kids get yeah about baffling stuff yeah we've got we've got like a little stick if i push the stick
39:17around like my son's like daddy hoover daddy hoover and that makes me happy because he's happy so
39:25i know i'm now like this just i'm so eager but it's got to that stage where i'm like daddy
39:30hoover daddy
39:32he's like oh that was so yesterday about you you know you're about to go on stage
39:38yes thousands of people laugh yeah anyone who knows a 19 month old try and make them smile sometimes it
39:44happens but you i mean you have to work hard yeah to make them laugh right when they're six months
39:49you
39:49do a fake sneeze they giggle you're like come on and they get to about two and you're like do
39:54you find this
39:55funny yeah yeah that's not actually what a sheep sounds like a horse in the other hand
40:03a horse i hold my beer
40:08the tour is called don't tell the algorithm yes i love that title will you change your material
40:13oh yeah as you go particularly if you're traveling in europe and you i remember being in norway they've
40:18got a phrase called vent the pulse which is it translates as a waiting sausage so if you keep
40:24a norwegian waiting they will eat a hot dog and i just think it's such a funny excuse for gluttony
40:31just like you know well if you force me to linger i ate a pork finger
40:37and it's this that in that moment
40:44but it's it's that thing that that that that wouldn't be funny if you were doing it in in
40:49halifax but that night if you if you're right i don't know no no no but it's funny but if
40:54you're
40:54able to kind of really be in a place and the audience can tell you like oh my god this
40:58is happening
40:59now this he's not fake it it really does something it's kind of and if you can blend it with
41:04material
41:04and actually be there and improvise it's you can you get into that kind of flow state and it's
41:10the best i love it so much i really i think i'm a lifer i haven't found anything through which
41:15i can
41:15do life more than stand-up is it true that billy connelly made you want to be a stand-up
41:20yeah i think
41:21so i just remember watching my dad howl and and he was like i think billy connelly was like for
41:26a
41:26certain generation like this fire in the corner of the country where we'd kind of warm ourselves around
41:32and you'd see your dad laughing your mum was laughing your uncle whatever and i was so intrigued by this
41:37kind of like this guy i was imagine trying to be that and then i got to interview him which
41:43was like talking to god and then kind of making him laugh wild and he's such a sweet just you
41:50know
41:51beautiful man uh yeah i could talk about him for hours i'd love him but i imagine everyone in scotland
41:56feels the same but absolutely when you've got a nickname call him the big one the big man yeah
42:01big in yeah the big in that's that's a good email address yes it is it promises a lot
42:09just say everything's about expectations um especially if he's at hotmail
42:26russell how can people see the top they can see it uh it's all over the country uh all over
42:31england
42:31and ireland and scotland uh until november thank you very much thank you
42:37all right we've nearly come to the end of the show have we covered everything is there anybody
42:46here we are not qualified who would like some guidance on anything i really like hands going
42:52up yeah wait i need to get you a microphone i was a bit keen sorry um i was just
42:59wondering
43:00what advice you have if you're having a conversation with someone and then they start going on their
43:04phone while you're talking to them what do you do i think most people stay married to them
43:12but
43:17that sounds like i'm slagging my wife off but i'm not it's me or you just call them
43:32thank you so much thank you so much that's it for this week i would like to thank my guests
43:37russell
43:38howard rita wilton google and battle roar and james mcavoy join me next week where my guests will be
43:48michelle the swap olivia cook arna faris and ray fines thank you for watching good night
43:56if you're brave enough to tackle the boardroom head to iplayer and face lord sugar himself in the
44:01apprentice that doesn't scare you how about facing the school mums better bring your a-game to stand a
44:06chance in a manderland
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