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The Last Leg S34E10 H 264
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00:03Thank you for letting us be ourselves, so don't mind me if I repeat myself, these simple lines be good
00:10for your health, to keep them crime rhymes on the shelf, live my life like you just don't care, I
00:16believe it's never scared, play the noise just the moment they fear, get up still up here for my dear,
00:22get up, throw your hands in the air, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up.
00:38Put on your Easter bonnet, make room for chocolate and cross your hot buns, it's Friday, we're live and it's
00:44time for the last leg.
00:46Tonight on the show, we'll hold space for the Artemis Moon mission, set the record straight about Iran and kick
00:54off our excitement at the upcoming World Cup.
00:57Plus we'll be joined by comedian Josh Pugh, TV legend Lorraine Kelly and online football sensation Steve Bracknell on the
01:04show that likes to let you know what's really behind the news.
01:17G'day, I'm Adam Hills, welcome to the last leg, the show that heard Marmite is going to be sold to
01:23an American company and thought some people will hate that deal but others will probably like it.
01:28With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe and the man who's surprising his kids this Sunday
01:33with an Easter leg hunt, Alex Rucker.
01:44Loads of news to cover tonight, I want to start with the news that we got this week from Carolyn
01:48who said,
01:48is it okay that Josh likes to keep socks down his trousers?
01:54Caroline of course, an ex-girlfriend.
01:56Do you want to explain what you said?
01:58Sorry?
01:59Do you want to explain what you said?
02:00Oh yeah, sorry, yeah, I didn't hear what, I was laughing at a joke, I didn't hear what you said.
02:03Oh, the amount of times I've heard that.
02:06So this week, I was coming back from a tour show, the usual way I kind of de-stress after
02:12tour shows, I sit in the back of the car and I have a bowl of Shreddies from a Tupperware
02:20box.
02:20You are rock and roll.
02:22I've always said, yeah, Jerry Seinfeld called he once he's a lifestyle bear.
02:27And then I put my hand on my leg and I was like, that feels thick, that, um, no, come
02:32on, oh that's a shame, the family show, the material, and then I was like, there's something there, and I
02:40put my hand, because obviously normally you'd go up, but I was like, it's too,
02:44so I put my, I'll be honest, I didn't do my flies, Adam, and I put my hand in and
02:49I pulled out a sock, like that, it didn't bounce with that amount of, the driver must have looked in
02:59his rear view mirror and thought, fuck me, he's enjoying them Shreddies, or he thought he takes his socks off
03:05in a weird way, so I'd gone my whole day, I'd been with my family in the day, and then
03:11I'd done the whole gig with a sock in the gusset of my
03:14trousers, I hadn't know it was that, you didn't need the word gusset, did you?
03:18No, I didn't really, I saw you flinch when I said gusset, I always put my face in it then,
03:25it's been down my trousers, I love that you're going, oh, it was purely an accident there was a sock
03:29down my trousers, there seemed to be an aubergine down there, it wasn't like a rolled up football sock, it
03:36was like just a normal sock, well look, we talked about this during the week, and knowing this, I've got
03:40you an end of series present, it's just there to your right, if you'd like to open it up, it's
03:43a pair of
03:44googly eyes that you can stick on, oh, that's nice, that's nice, so let's, let me stick these on, yep,
03:50where do I stick this, so if I was to stick one there, what's my end of series present, oh,
03:55I've got you some googly
03:56fingers, so I just do it like this, oh, look, there you go, hello, oh, amazing, that is actually, do
04:14you know what, hello, what was it like in Josh's pants, I don't kiss and tell, how was this gig,
04:23is it, oh, do you know what, he absolutely smashed it, and if you do want to go a good
04:29night out, he's still on tour, and let me be clear, there is tickets available in Gripenstake, did he treat
04:36you well down there,
04:37um, yes, I, um, do you know, what, why have you got such a weird voice, which one of us,
04:46that is that true, I feel like Kermit's getting a cease and desist letter,
04:52all right, let's move on with the show, before we move on, I don't normally say this, but I do
04:56need to do up my flies,
04:59so just carry on, Hilsie, okay, uh, we are live, so send us any questions you want to ask us
05:04about the news,
05:06I just pretended to catch my foreskin, sorry,
05:10imagine I thought it was finally the bit of his body he lost,
05:16message us on Instagram, the hashtags, is it okay, WhatsApp, the numbers, 07956175908,
05:22or scan the QR code on the screen, for example, Ree said, is it okay that someone has made a
05:26break for
05:26it with 12 tonnes of Kit Kats, yes, more than 400,000 Kit Kats went missing this week,
05:32when a truck carrying the new range set off from central Italy, but never reached its final destination
05:37in Poland, uh, the brand issued a statement saying it's not a stunt, and asked custom, uh, consumers
05:42to scan barcodes to help them find the stolen chocolate, I mean, I don't know how that's going
05:47to help, most thieves will have melted them down by now, can I say how nice it is to do
05:53a story
05:54about missing fingers on this show, and it's not to do with me,
06:01news of the high-sparked online race, other companies issued their own statements,
06:05like this cheeky post from Domino's, said we would like to share our thoughts and condolences
06:08with Kit Kat, following their recent sad news, on a completely unrelated note,
06:12we're pleased to announce we'll now be selling a new Kit Kat pizza,
06:18yes, what, you know, you know how they can find the thieves, don't you, just get a bounty hunter,
06:24huh? Oh, lovely, lovely. You know what? That is not my kind of humour.
06:36Uh, unsurprisingly, Domino's started a chain reaction, that led to this amusing post from Ryanair.
06:44I've got a lot of questions about that, firstly, why has the plane taken a bite out of one end
06:48of
06:48the Kit Kat, then put the other end in its mouth? And also, why are there five fingers?
06:54Which is a question we often ask on this show.
06:57Um, alright, let's get into the big story now, and as fuel prices continue to rise,
07:00stock markets continue to fall, Catherine said,
07:05Yes, it is. We all need something different and happier to lighten the world at the moment.
07:10Yes, Catherine!
07:11The American government proved they can do something right this week,
07:14as NASA launched a mission to the moon.
07:17Um, the first time they did this was in 1968, when America led an ill-advised war in Vietnam,
07:22which had no exit strategy and ultimately made a mess of the region.
07:26Thankfully, this time, things are different.
07:29The 10-day mission will take astronauts around the moon,
07:32as they look for a location to build a potential base from which to explore Mars.
07:36Not so much a place in the sun as a place on the dark side of the moon.
07:39I was... I stayed up and watched this.
07:41You did. I was so excited about it on Wednesday night.
07:43Did you guys watch it?
07:44Well, you remember the first one, of course.
07:49Sorry. Sorry.
07:50So close, but not quite.
07:53No, I didn't.
07:54Did you watch it?
07:55I think it's bad at how jaded I am and how jaded we are as a generation.
08:02Yeah.
08:02That in the...
08:03It's 1969, was it?
08:04People stayed up and watched it.
08:05Yeah.
08:06And I watched it the next day on my phone while having a piss.
08:13I watched it.
08:14I watched it on my phone.
08:15Well, what I love most is the next thing it took me to on the algorithm
08:18was just more dash cam footage.
08:21This is going to go from that to someone having a rocket cut them up.
08:24What I love most about this story is it's Easter weekend
08:28and it's quicker and easier for those astronauts to go round the moon and back
08:32than what it is to get a train from London to Manchester Piccadilly.
08:42And look, there's a lot to be cynical about in the world right now,
08:44but it's nice to know the launch of a rocket can still reduce
08:46a professional journalist to tears of joy.
08:49Here's the incredible moment.
08:50The BBC's science editor, Rebecca Murrell, was blown away by the launch
08:54almost literally.
08:56Oh my goodness.
08:58Oh.
09:02Wow.
09:04Oh my goodness.
09:07That is spectacular.
09:09It's not just what you see and you hear as the rocket lifts off.
09:13You can actually feel the force of it through your body.
09:17This is the most powerful rocket that NASA has ever built.
09:25Amazing.
09:25That is amazing.
09:26It is amazing.
09:27That's what I was like when I saw the Backstreet Boys in Vegas.
09:33I mean, a British reporter hasn't been that excited by a piece of machinery
09:36since this energetic clip.
09:40Oh my goodness.
09:41Holy shit.
09:46Oh my God.
09:51That's like you when you open your Tupperware box.
09:55There's one of him standing under the rocket blast that's actually quite distressing.
10:00Look, some of the stats around this launch are incredible.
10:02The rocket, known as Artemis 2, was the same height as Big Ben.
10:06The core stage of lift off burnt through 2.8 million litres of propellant
10:10and it will end up travelling the furthest from Earth that any human has ever been.
10:14I read that, but also basically what NASA, kind of the way they've explained,
10:18the route it's taken is they basically said it's going to take a similar trajectory
10:22as Apollo 13.
10:24It's like, don't use that as example.
10:27Just down to the astronauts, well, the good news is Tom Hanks has already signed up to play you.
10:33It's going to land in a similar place to the Titanic, I think.
10:39And look, credit where credit's due, when Donald Trump came into office,
10:42he signed an executive order calling for Americans to return to the moon by the end of 2028.
10:46So it must be kind of conflicting for the US president,
10:49because on the one hand, America is exploring space again,
10:51but it's also the most diverse NASA crew to ever leave Earth's orbit.
10:55It features the first woman and the first person of colour to travel to the moon.
11:00Now that I say that, it sounds like it might be a trap.
11:03You know what I mean? Considering the third astronaut's Canadian,
11:06if the Force One's trans, this might be the most elaborate deportation ever.
11:12What's tricky for NASA is that due to Trump's ban on mentioning diversity,
11:16they can't make a big deal about the first person of colour
11:18or the first woman to fly to the moon.
11:20They have to call them the first person who's allowed to fist bump Obama
11:24and the first person who never likes the temperature of any room.
11:28When's the first sock going to the moon?
11:33Are we liking this character or is it running?
11:35No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, keep it, keep
11:38it on.
11:39Okay.
11:39Every now and again I see something that makes me glad I don't have big hands and this is...
11:47The ultimate indignity for a government that's critical of inclusion
11:50is that the area between the Earth's orbit and the moon is called cislunar space.
11:55and the operation they pulled off last night
11:56was called a translunar injection.
11:59And I mean, the only thing that would make it worse
12:01is if they were travelling in the starship
12:02they them to prize.
12:05And not only is there an African-American man on board,
12:08Victor Glover is the pilot.
12:10Look, it says a lot about the state of America
12:11that it's the only journey he can make
12:13without the risk of being pulled over.
12:19By the way, Victor Glover's call sign is Ike, I-K-E,
12:21which stands for I Know Everything,
12:22but does he know he's an embarrassing dad?
12:25Because this gorgeous family photo is giving cringe.
12:30That's actually his living room.
12:32And what he's done is he's just been wearing the suit
12:34since he got the job.
12:35That's why I like to think he's just been in the house
12:37just going,
12:39and it's just like,
12:41come on, Victor, you're making the kids late for school.
12:43It looks like he's the only one who remembered World Book Day.
12:51It's not often you can create history
12:52and be a full kit wanker.
12:55And look, they are creating history.
12:56I genuinely got chills
12:58when this emotional final send-off was given to the astronauts.
13:01On this historic mission,
13:04you take with you the heart of this Artemis team,
13:07the daring spirit of the American people
13:10and our partners across the globe,
13:13and the hopes and dreams of a new generation.
13:17Good luck.
13:18Godspeed, Artemis II.
13:20Let's go.
13:23It's fine, but they never have any banter.
13:27That's what I always think.
13:28They're always trying to talk
13:28as if it's going to go on,
13:29like, some sort of monument or something,
13:31where I think they just don't have any workplace banter.
13:34Like, I'd love to hear...
13:35Just imagine doing the count like,
13:36five, four,
13:38fuck, what's that bit of metal
13:39that's falling off the top?
13:39Three, two,
13:41there's no coming out of the top.
13:42Only fucking about it if you're one.
13:43Have a good one, guys.
13:46This was the emotive moment
13:48when each of the astronauts gave their final words.
13:52Thank you, Charlie.
13:53This is Victor.
13:54We are going for our families.
13:57MS1.
13:58This is Christina.
13:59We are going for our teammates.
14:02MS2.
14:03This is Jeremy.
14:05We are going for all humanity.
14:08That's lovely,
14:09but do you reckon the first two were like,
14:10oh, give it a rest, Jeremy?
14:13Family, teammates.
14:14You don't have to bring humanity into war.
14:16Ooh, look at me.
14:17I'm doing this for humanity.
14:19Listen, we have to spend ten days with this prick.
14:22I'm going to start doing that when I'm at work.
14:24Just go,
14:25I'm doing blankety-blank for humanity.
14:27I'm doing that for humanity.
14:29I'm doing that for humanity.
14:31I just think he's not doing it for humanity, is he?
14:33He's not doing it for me.
14:34If you want to do something for humanity,
14:36get McDonald's to bring back the McRib.
14:40The crew will be in a cramped space
14:42the size of two small camper vans for ten days,
14:44passing around the moon on day six.
14:47There was a tense moment for the astronauts
14:48when a fault was found with the onboard toilet.
14:51In fact, it was with the toilet fan.
14:53Oh, it was in fact...
14:54Because I just imagined, like,
14:55one of the astronauts just coming out going,
14:57I'll give that a couple of light years.
14:59LAUGHTER
15:00Would it be bad to crack a window?
15:02Is it worth it?
15:03What is it worth it?
15:06The toilet itself costs around $17 million
15:08and comes with foot restraints and ear protectors.
15:12Oh, I thought the $70 million
15:14was just for a plumber to do that call-out.
15:17The ear protectors are for the person on the toilet
15:19or the other people...
15:22No, the toilet makes such a loud noise
15:24because at zero gravity,
15:26it has to basically suck all the waste
15:29and take it away,
15:30so it makes a loud noise
15:31and you need ear protectors.
15:32Oh.
15:33I don't know why you need foot restraints.
15:35My... I'm assuming...
15:36LAUGHTER
15:37I'm assuming it's so that you don't...
15:39I mean, literally launch yourself across the room.
15:43LAUGHTER
15:45If it's...
15:46I don't want to speak for everyone,
15:48but if it's providing that much propulsion
15:50for other people,
15:51I'm doing it wrong.
15:53LAUGHTER
15:53But, I mean, it's zero gravity.
15:55It's got to...
15:56I mean, what happens when you fart in space?
15:59Like, you can't hide it
16:00if you've just shot across the room.
16:02LAUGHTER
16:05That one was for humanity.
16:08LAUGHTER
16:09The toilet is a step up
16:11from past Apollo missions,
16:12which saw astronauts taping a bag
16:14to their own buttocks.
16:16Jesus Christ!
16:17Oh, my God.
16:19That moonwalk feels a bit different now.
16:21Neil Armstrong,
16:21we've got a bag take to his arse, aren't we?
16:24LAUGHTER
16:24One small bag for man.
16:27One giant man for piss.
16:29It's not one giant man,
16:30one giant bag.
16:31LAUGHTER
16:32There was a famous line
16:33uttered on board Apollo 10,
16:34and this is a direct quote,
16:35give me a napkin quick,
16:37there's a turd floating through the air.
16:51LAUGHTER
16:51The astronauts were interviewed overnight,
16:54and they explained how they sleep
16:55in this fascinating clip.
16:58Sleep in here is,
16:59it's actually sort of comical.
17:01Christina has been sleeping
17:02heads down in the middle of the vehicle,
17:04kind of like a bat
17:05suspended from our docking tunnel.
17:07Victor's been up where Jeremy is right now.
17:09He's got a nice little nook wedged in there.
17:11And then Jeremy has been
17:12stretched out on seat one,
17:14and I've been sleeping under the displays
17:16just in case anything goes wrong.
17:18It's more comfortable than you would think,
17:20and it's nice to sleep in weightlessness again.
17:24Every time I was dozing off last night,
17:25I had that image
17:26that I was tripping off a curb
17:27and I was waking myself up,
17:29so my body's getting re-acclimated.
17:31It's been a few years
17:32since I've been up here.
17:33I was hoping when he got to himself,
17:35he goes,
17:36and I sleep naked.
17:37LAUGHTER
17:40Hey, what's my bollocks doing?
17:41Zero gravity.
17:43LAUGHTER
17:45Before the trip,
17:46crew member Reid Wiseman said,
17:47quote,
17:47there are definitely going to be things
17:48by day six, seven, eight, nine
17:50that we're like,
17:51man, all right,
17:51I need a little space,
17:52and I can't get any right now,
17:54and then said,
17:54like, clicking a pen cap
17:56can annoy somebody
17:56over ten days in a small capsule,
17:59which begs the question,
18:00what would we be like in space?
18:02Imagine him trying to dodge
18:03loads of floating legs.
18:05LAUGHTER
18:05Day six,
18:06the socks just floats out of my trousers.
18:09I like the idea of you going,
18:11Alex, we can't...
18:12The radio,
18:13we're not able to get back to Hoosie.
18:14It's like,
18:15no, sorry, mate,
18:15I changed it to Kishtry earlier.
18:18I like the idea
18:19you've waited 21 years
18:20for Arsenal to win the league,
18:21and then you're trapped in space.
18:23LAUGHTER
18:24LAUGHTER
18:25All right, let's move on.
18:26No, Josh has already made that joke.
18:28Move on.
18:29No, I think it's fair to say
18:30the mission to the moon
18:31has brought out the child in all of us.
18:33Sorry.
18:33I was going to make a joke,
18:34Josh had already done it,
18:35and I was like,
18:35well, there's no point
18:36doing the same sock joke again.
18:38LAUGHTER
18:38The only difference is,
18:39I was going to do your impersonation.
18:41I was going to be,
18:41is there a bit of sock down here?
18:43LAUGHTER
18:43To be fair,
18:44I was doing the voice as well.
18:45I own the voice.
18:46NASA even had an initiative
18:48in which members of the public
18:49could send their names
18:50around the moon
18:51on an SD card.
18:52So you sign up
18:53and they take an SD card
18:54and they take it around the moon.
18:57Your name goes around the moon.
18:58They even put out a boarding pass
18:59that looked like this.
19:01Now, we know that's what it looks like
19:02because one member of our production crew
19:04actually did it
19:05for her and her kids.
19:06Oh.
19:07And her seven-year-old
19:08is still pissed off
19:09that she's not actually
19:10going to the moon for Easter.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:14And when you look into
19:15what they're actually doing,
19:16it's amazing
19:16because the precision needed
19:17to do what they're doing
19:18is absolutely remarkable.
19:20Have a look at this fascinating clip.
19:21It shows the magnitude
19:22of trying to coordinate
19:23a rocket from Earth
19:24that loops around a moving target.
19:28OK, so there's the rocket
19:29going around Earth.
19:30It heads towards
19:31where the moon should be.
19:32It hasn't come into shot yet
19:33because it's orbiting the Earth.
19:35Here it comes.
19:36How close is that?
19:38These astronauts are basically
19:40combining physics, chemistry,
19:41mathematics and darts.
19:43LAUGHTER
19:45The way it looked is,
19:47it kind of looked like,
19:47you know when, like,
19:48your Uber driver
19:49takes a really long route home?
19:51LAUGHTER
19:51You're just going,
19:52you've got ways, mate.
19:54He's usually doing
19:55another drop-off before me.
19:57It's almost impossible
19:58to put into words
19:59what they're managing to achieve,
20:00but I think the final word
20:01should go to this
20:02excitable boy in America
20:03who managed to sum it all up beautifully.
20:06Why do you want to be here?
20:08Why do you love space?
20:09Why do you love being
20:10a part of history?
20:12We're going back
20:12to the frickin' moon,
20:14that's why.
20:15LAUGHTER
20:16LAUGHTER
20:17Pretty much says it all.
20:18All right, let's welcome
20:19tonight's guest,
20:20but let's do it
20:20with another special guest.
20:21Josh?
20:22Oh, do you want me to do it?
20:23OK.
20:24LAUGHTER
20:25LAUGHTER
20:26She's a telly legend,
20:27he's a comedy star,
20:28but I'm a sock,
20:29so I've heard of neither of them.
20:30It's Lorraine Kelly
20:31and Josh Pugh!
20:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:50Just for no apparent reason,
20:51but we've got plenty.
20:52Does anyone want to kick it?
20:55No, I've got...
20:56I'm scunnered with them.
20:57I've eaten far too many of them.
20:58OK, there you go.
20:59You're what, sorry, Lorraine?
21:00I'm scunnered of them.
21:02Scunnered?
21:02Fed up.
21:03Had too many.
21:04Were you involved in the hoist?
21:06I cannot possibly comment on that.
21:08Maybe.
21:10Did you both follow the moon mission?
21:11What did you think of it?
21:12Oh, my God, it's so exciting.
21:13So exciting.
21:14What do you think?
21:15You're not that excited?
21:17I'm not that excited.
21:18I'm so excited.
21:18You know, it is, with astronauts,
21:20if you want to go up, fair enough,
21:21and all that, but it's when they try
21:23and make up, they're doing it for us,
21:25for all humanity, all, you know, mankind.
21:27We're not bothered, lads.
21:30No one's asking you to go up there.
21:32I think it's, um, just be honest,
21:34you want to go in a rocket?
21:35That's where you're going.
21:36Yeah.
21:36You want to go wee into the sky?
21:38Wee!
21:39They had bother with the wheeze
21:40and the sky, didn't they?
21:42And you two cheeky monkeys,
21:43I actually saw the original moon landing.
21:46I was 10 and watched it with my dad.
21:48No, Lorraine.
21:49I know, I know.
21:50Oh, my word.
21:52It was the best thing.
21:53No, Lorraine.
21:55Because you were making a joke,
21:57and then it was...
21:58Oh, but it's the sock.
21:59No, Lorraine, no.
22:01I love the sock.
22:02I'm very, very, very into the sock.
22:04So, would you go into space, Lorraine?
22:06Would I go?
22:07If you told me now, I would be away.
22:09Well, can we finish the show first?
22:12No, it's amazing.
22:13It's extraordinary.
22:15The thing is, the Rockets,
22:16they go from Florida, though.
22:17I just think there's better things to do in Florida.
22:19You've got Animal Kingdom,
22:22Southern Lagoon, you know, Epcot.
22:27I love the way people really got into it this week,
22:30but I loved how watching various reporters around the world
22:32cover the rocket launch
22:33reminded everyone around the world of this classic clip.
22:36You may have seen this.
22:37James Burke, it's often called
22:38the best-timed piece of television ever.
22:42And the two gases that he released
22:44from his particular version of a thermos flask,
22:47the one lying on its side behind me now,
22:50were hydrogen and oxygen.
22:56If you release those two gases
22:58into a confined space
22:59with a hole at the other end of it
23:01and mix them as you do so
23:02and then set light to them,
23:06you get that.
23:15Destination, the moon.
23:17Wow.
23:24It is incredible,
23:26but how good would it have been
23:27if he'd have had a sock on his hand?
23:31Look, walking and talking
23:32isn't always easy to do on television,
23:34as this revealing clip of Lorraine shows...
23:39She's a mother of three,
23:41two,
23:41whoop!
23:43I'm sorry.
23:44I'll do that again.
23:46Superwoman, help me.
23:47Help me.
23:48You're all right.
23:50I'm trying now.
23:51I'm trying to do that.
23:54Oh, I healed.
23:56I healed.
23:57And look,
23:57we're going to give you a chance
23:58to redeem yourself tonight.
23:59And recreate James Burke's
24:02iconic moment live in the studio.
24:04We've written a little script for you.
24:05It's on the autocue.
24:06Take it away, Lorraine.
24:08Right.
24:08Okay.
24:08Hopefully, this will work.
24:10Come on.
24:12Walking and talking on television
24:14is harder than it looks.
24:16It requires coordination,
24:18concentration,
24:18and relaxation.
24:19It's actually quite a bit
24:22of pressure.
24:25like the pressure
24:26that's applied to a foot pump
24:27when somebody jumps on it.
24:29If that pressure
24:30is then transferred
24:31to a child's toy
24:32pointing towards the sky,
24:34you get this.
24:43That was very good enough.
24:47Oh, my God.
24:49That doesn't normally happen to me.
24:50Oh, my God.
24:52Yay!
25:00We'll have more last leg
25:01for you after the break
25:02as we come back down to earth
25:03with a look at what's going on in Iran.
25:05We'll see you in a little bit.
25:06Oh, my God.
25:20Welcome back to Last Leg.
25:22We're joined by Josh Pugh
25:23and Lorraine Kelly
25:24who is handing out chocolates
25:26to everyone in the audience.
25:29Oh, Lorraine, before you go,
25:30someone said,
25:31is it okay that you didn't get a hug
25:32when you came out?
25:32Oh, I didn't.
25:33It wasn't intentional.
25:34No, no, but I hugged it already.
25:35Oh.
25:36Didn't we?
25:37Backstage we hugged.
25:38Don't tell.
25:38Was there someone
25:39that texted that in yourself here?
25:42Honestly,
25:43I didn't get concerned
25:44by so many things.
25:45Someone else said,
25:45is it okay that someone
25:46left some anti-bac spray
25:48on the desk at the beginning
25:49of the show?
25:49Yes, that was an accident.
25:52Mad Brummie said,
25:53is it okay Trump broke the window
25:55and is now running away?
25:56Look, it's been a big week
25:57for the American president.
25:58In fact, I'm going to do something now.
25:59I'm going to read off
26:00a list of things
26:01Donald Trump said this week
26:02and I want you to tell me
26:03which one I've added
26:04as an April Fool's joke.
26:07This week Donald Trump said
26:08that he hangs around with losers
26:10because it makes him
26:11feel better about himself.
26:12Told an audience of Saudi investors
26:14they could ask him
26:14anything about sex
26:15said he doesn't like
26:17museums and libraries
26:18so his library will be a hotel
26:20and claimed that a woman
26:21should have autonomy
26:22over her own body.
26:25Yeah, you picked it.
26:26It was the last one.
26:28Can I just say,
26:29anyone who says
26:29ask me anything about sex
26:31sounds like someone
26:31who's never done it.
26:34As the war in Iran continues,
26:36the Strait of Hamuz
26:36remains closed.
26:37President Trump took
26:38to Truth Social
26:39to tell Britain
26:39it should either buy
26:40its jet fuel from the US
26:42or, quote,
26:43go get your own.
26:45Not surprising
26:45from a guy who said
26:46when you're famous
26:47you can just grab them
26:48by the pussy.
26:49Iran is now considering
26:50placing a toll
26:51on any ships
26:51passing through
26:52the Strait of Hamuz
26:53in what one commentator
26:54described as
26:54an Ayatolle booth.
26:58Don't hate it.
27:00What do we think
27:01of Donald Trump
27:01saying we should get
27:02our own oil?
27:02Well, I think we just
27:03fight back.
27:04Mm-hmm.
27:05We just choose
27:06British products.
27:06You should get
27:07your own hobnobs.
27:10Do you know what, Trump?
27:11Get your own
27:11Ambrosia cream
27:12dry.
27:14This side?
27:15You guys?
27:16It's just like,
27:17the way Trump
27:18speaks to Britain,
27:20it's like he's
27:20like a lad
27:21trying to get his
27:22mate to do
27:23something stupid
27:23all the time.
27:24Yeah.
27:25Like, set fire to
27:26the farts or something.
27:26The old you would
27:27have done it.
27:28The old you,
27:28she's changed you.
27:29The old you would
27:30have done it.
27:30Okay, then we'll do it.
27:32He's a kid, man.
27:33He's ridiculous.
27:34It's ridiculous.
27:34And look at this,
27:35oh yeah, he's one
27:36who went and started it.
27:37He's not going to go
27:38at us.
27:38And he's basically
27:39like, what he's saying
27:40is, why aren't you
27:41doing anything about
27:41these pants are off
27:42shitting that I'm wearing?
27:45And look at this one
27:46country that seems to be
27:47doing well out of the
27:48crisis, it's Russia.
27:49Because just as their
27:50war effort was starting
27:51to run out of money,
27:52Donald Trump
27:53eased sanctions on
27:54Russian oil, the price
27:55of which has now gone
27:56through the roof.
27:57So the Russian economy
27:58is now pulling in
27:59hundreds of millions
28:00of dollars a day,
28:01thanks to Donald Trump.
28:03So it turns out he is
28:04good for the economy,
28:05just not Americans.
28:07Trump also said this
28:08week he'd consider
28:08pulling the US out of
28:09NATO, saying,
28:11I always knew they were
28:12a paper tiger, and
28:13then added, and Putin
28:14knows that too, by the
28:15way.
28:16Get a room.
28:18A lot of countries
28:19around the world are
28:20now struggling to deal
28:20with the current energy
28:21crisis.
28:22Sri Lanka have
28:22introduced a four-day
28:23working week.
28:24News anchors in Thailand
28:26took off their jackets
28:27on air, and their
28:28government have told
28:29officials to wear
28:30short-sleeved shirts
28:31without neckties.
28:32But have a look at
28:33Bangkok's weather for
28:34the next week.
28:35It's like 37...
28:37They should be wearing
28:38short sleeves anyway.
28:40Are you guys worried
28:41about the energy crisis?
28:43I mean, anything with
28:44crisis in, it gets my
28:46alarm bells ringing.
28:47Yeah.
28:56mental health, Cuban
28:57misoil.
28:57Yeah.
28:59Cost of living?
29:00Cost of living crisis?
29:01All of them.
29:03One woman was
29:03time crisis.
29:05One woman was
29:06spotted filling Sainsbury's
29:07bags with petrol and
29:08storing them in the boot
29:08of her car.
29:10Sainsbury's bags.
29:11That's the unbelievable
29:12image.
29:13I think putting petrol in a
29:14plastic bag really shows
29:15where you stand on climate
29:17change.
29:21Fuck you, Grafenberg!
29:24Dukas said, is it okay?
29:25The king's visit to the
29:26US is going to be very
29:27awkward.
29:28Yeah, so this week it was
29:29confirmed the king and
29:30queen state visit is going
29:31to take place next month,
29:32even though Trump spent a
29:33lot of this week slagging
29:34off Keir Starmer.
29:35In fact, Trump even stated
29:36that the king would have
29:38backed him over the war in
29:40Iran.
29:40His exact words were, I
29:41like him, I always liked
29:43him as a prince, he's a
29:44good man, a great
29:44representative for your
29:45country, I think it would
29:46have taken a very
29:47different stand, but he
29:48doesn't do that, I mean
29:50he's a great gentleman.
29:51I don't think Charles
29:52would have taken a
29:53different stand on the
29:54war.
29:54I don't think so
29:54either.
29:55He talks to plants.
29:56Yeah, poor.
29:58His car runs on biofuels.
30:00He's kind.
30:01His favourite hobby is
30:02angling, that's not a
30:02warmonger, that's a
30:03fishmonger.
30:07You've met the king,
30:08right?
30:09Is he the kind of
30:09guy that would be like,
30:10yeah, get in there?
30:11No, he would not, and
30:12the poor soul that has to
30:14go and sit and break
30:15bread with Trump, I
30:17know he's met lots of
30:17despots in his life, but
30:20I don't know how you
30:21get through that, do you
30:22just kind of sit there
30:22thinking, soon I can go
30:23home to Camilla and watch
30:25the racing with a gin and
30:27tonic, is that how you
30:28get through it?
30:29I don't know.
30:29Well, is it true also,
30:30the king can't really give
30:31an opinion on whether he
30:32would go to war, right?
30:33No, he's not always.
30:33And Donald Trump knows
30:34that.
30:34Of course he does, so
30:35he's just...
30:35He's just baiting.
30:37They've got mutual
30:38acquaintances, his brother.
30:53The Guardian's photo
30:54editor obviously had a
30:55little bit of fun this
30:55week.
30:56It looked like they were
30:57purposely choosing photos
30:58that made the king look
30:59sceptical of Trump.
31:00There was this one.
31:02Are they passing drugs?
31:06Cheers for that, Donald.
31:07I really needed that,
31:08Parker.
31:09And the Guardian also
31:10ran with this perfectly
31:11captured shot.
31:14It looks like the king's
31:16going, ooh, and he's
31:17just seeing Trump like
31:19zipper bollocking in his
31:20zip.
31:22He's only trying to get
31:23a sock out and all.
31:25It looks like they're
31:25struggling for an answer
31:26on Celebrity Pointless.
31:30Ooh, you forgot to
31:32Captain Harland.
31:33Ooh.
31:35That actually is a photo
31:36of Charles talking to a
31:37plant.
31:39The scramble for fuel is
31:40going to test all of us,
31:41so Josh and Alex have
31:41come up with a way to get
31:42us prepared.
31:43Yes, we have.
31:44So, Hills, basically, as
31:45soon as we saw the image of
31:46a woman putting petrol in
31:47Sainsbury's bags, we
31:48basically thought this could
31:50fuel some hilarity.
31:52Oh, yeah.
31:53That's good.
31:53Huh?
31:53Huh?
31:54Huh?
31:54And more to the point,
31:56more to the point, pad out
31:58the show.
31:59So, we're going to put on,
32:00we've got to make special
32:02petrol pump hats for this.
32:05And Alex has got a
32:06jingle made.
32:07Would you like to cue the
32:07jingle, Alex?
32:08Let's play.
32:14You've got to patrol with it.
32:16You've got to feel your bag.
32:27OK.
32:29Here we are in our petrol
32:31pumps.
32:32Me and Alex, two petrol
32:33pumps.
32:33As you can see, I've got green
32:35on my face because I am
32:36unleaded.
32:37Yes, and as you can see, I'm
32:39diesel, so I've got a black hat
32:41on and I'm, do you know what,
32:43actually, should we just
32:43continue with this?
32:47Don't want to get cancelled.
32:48It is Hilsie versus Lorraine and I
32:50can tell you that this couldn't be
32:52more important, Josh.
32:53Do you know why?
32:54Why?
32:54Because there's a very special
32:56prize on offer.
32:57Oh!
32:59Right, so here's what you have
33:00to do.
33:00You have to get as much highly
33:02flammable petrol in shopping bags
33:05across our tricky assault course from
33:08one end of the forecourt to the other.
33:10It's that simple.
33:12Hilsie, we ask you, it's the
33:13forecourt, so please don't use your
33:15mobile.
33:16Absolutely.
33:16And Lorraine, please don't light up.
33:18I don't know how...
33:20OK, then, let's talk you through the
33:22course.
33:22First, you must fill your bag at the
33:24petrol pump over there, that'll have a
33:26street value of about eight grand at
33:27the moment.
33:28And then you've got to negotiate your
33:29way through the mountain of charcoal
33:31bouquets and then slalom in and out of
33:33the caution wet floor signs.
33:35Grab yourself a bunch of shitty
33:37flowers that you might be buying for a
33:39family member you don't like.
33:40You'll buy a scratch card from an
33:42under-motivated forecourt attendant.
33:45Finally, pour your amazing petrol into
33:48the car boot.
33:49The person who fills their car boot with
33:51the most petrol is the winner.
33:53Capisce?
33:54Yeah.
33:55Cool.
33:55Take your positions, please.
33:57Oh, great.
33:57Over there.
33:58There you go.
33:59Let's kick it off our contestants.
34:00You got this one, I got this one.
34:06Are you ready?
34:07Ready.
34:07Three, two, one.
34:10Pump it.
34:11Oh, here they go.
34:12Here we go.
34:13They're pumping away now.
34:14Who's going to win this, Alex?
34:16I think Kelsey's struggling already.
34:18He's not having this.
34:19He seems like Lorraine's not messing about.
34:21Lorraine's got this.
34:22He's worked in a petrol station before.
34:26Lorraine feels like someone who's siphoned petrol.
34:30I'll be honest, this bit's lasting longer than we'd anticipated.
34:34Not the first time we've said that, am I right?
34:38Just go for the two hands if you need it.
34:40There you go.
34:42Here we go.
34:43Here we go.
34:58Okay.
34:59Fill it up.
35:00Fill it up.
35:01Fill it up.
35:02Fill it up.
35:02Fill it up.
35:03Fill it up.
35:04Oh, my God.
35:07Here we go.
35:08Who's going to win?
35:09Oh, my God.
35:10Here we go.
35:10Oh, my God.
35:11Lorraine.
35:11Oh, my God.
35:12I need a wee so much.
35:13Keep going.
35:14That's it.
35:15Oh, let's have a look.
35:16I can tell you that our winner is...
35:20Lorraine Kelly!
35:22Oh, isn't it?
35:23Lorraine Kelly.
35:24Oh, hang on.
35:25Oh, God.
35:26Give it to Lorraine.
35:27Lorraine.
35:28I did it.
35:29And there is your bouquet of Kit Kats.
35:32Oh, no.
35:33Good lord.
35:33Oh, Lorraine.
35:35Congratulations.
35:38It's going to have to go to VAR.
35:40We'll have more last lyrics for you after the break.
35:42As we take a look at the upcoming World Cup.
35:44But, Josh, I think it's time to burn some of this petrol off.
35:46Yes, let's go for this.
35:47Right.
35:47There you go.
35:48Everyone duck.
35:48We're going to go big on this burning.
35:51Three, two, one.
36:06Welcome back to The Last Lyrics.
36:07It's done by Josh Pugh and Lorraine Kelly.
36:09Time to talk football now, but before we do, let's welcome a man who's become an online
36:12sensation as the assistant manager of the Sunday League team Royal Oak FC.
36:17Please welcome Steve Bracknell.
36:19Woo!
36:21Woo!
36:26Woo!
36:29Woo!
36:30How are you, Steve?
36:32Morning.
36:32Lovely to have you here, Steve.
36:33Big game this weekend.
36:34You want to tell everyone, explain for everyone what the game is?
36:37It's been billed as the biggest game in Sunday League history.
36:41Mm-hmm.
36:42I've billed it, that, I'll be frank.
36:44But, yeah.
36:453,000 people are coming to watch two pub teams playing a football match on Easter Sunday at 2pm.
36:51Who are the pub teams?
36:53Royal Oak, my team, I'm assistant manager.
36:55Yep.
36:55Let's not get unguth on titles, mate.
36:59I'm the assistant host, mate.
37:00Don't worry about it.
37:03No comment.
37:05And there's no love lost.
37:07And for the people who can't make it on the day, can they watch it?
37:11I'm allowed to mention BBC, aren't I?
37:14I mean, who knows these days, but yeah, go for it.
37:20Don't get me involved in that.
37:23The BBC have kindly agreed to live stream it to the Games Gone YouTube channel.
37:29Amazing.
37:29We're going to have people from all around globe.
37:31Yeah.
37:33Watching 22 overweight blokes.
37:36Try and put ball it back at me.
37:38Look, I understand you're a big fan of Alex Brooker so much so you've written a chant for him.
37:42Last night, I spent an hour in shower naked.
37:45Well, I've always naked in shower, but...
37:48Singing about Alex.
37:49Our Nick is going, Stephen, are you all right?
37:51I'm all right, love.
37:53Would you like to hear it?
37:54I'd love to hear it, please.
37:55Yeah!
37:57It's to the tune of marching in two by two.
38:01Oh.
38:02He'll never play in a football team, they said.
38:05They said.
38:06They were always making jokes about his leg.
38:10His leg.
38:11Now making jokes is how he gets paid and now he's playing in soccer day.
38:18And they say.
38:45All of Broker, England's number nine.
38:45I wish, thank you!
38:47Thank you!
38:48And now, Josh Pugh, you play for the partially sighted England futsal team.
38:53I do, yeah.
38:53And you got a visit from an important manager.
38:56Yeah, before a tournament in Turkey, we were training in Manchester to motivate the lads.
39:01Our manager brought in a special guest and introduced him as Gareth.
39:05No surname, didn't give a surname.
39:07Obviously, the lads are visually impaired.
39:08We couldn't see that Gareth Southgate was stood.
39:14And we were just very underwhelmed.
39:19He's got, like, a shirt on. We think he works for the hotel.
39:25Any questions for Gareth? Well, my room key's not working.
39:32First and second name we need.
39:37And look, Lorraine, I understand you're going to be, like, we've got the World Cup coming up.
39:40Yes.
39:41I understand you're going to be one of the games.
39:43Yes, we're going to the Morocco game.
39:44Well, hopefully I'm going, cos you know there's that thing where if you've been horrible about Donald Trump...
39:49Yes.
39:49..so I might get, I was hoping that we'd be Canada or Mexico, but we're not.
39:54Yeah.
39:54And I'm just worried that, you know, when I get there, they wouldn't let me in, cos I might have
39:58said a bad thing about Donald Trump.
40:00I think the nicest thing I said was even as a twat.
40:03And that was me being nice.
40:05That was me being nice.
40:07So, yeah, in here, in here.
40:10In our bed.
40:12Is there any message you'd like to give to the Scotland team ahead of the World Cup?
40:14I just so happen to be sitting on this.
40:17I would wave this around and say, the famous thing is, no Scotland, no party.
40:22No Scotland, no party.
40:24It's true!
40:25It's true!
40:25It's true!
40:26It's true!
40:27It's true!
40:45It's true!
40:46It's true!
40:53It's true!
40:55It's true!
40:56It's true!
40:57It's true!
41:01We were all young kids once upon a time.
41:05We had dreams!
41:06Big dreams!
41:08I never laid in bed at night, dreaming about being an electrician.
41:12No, we wanted to be astronauts who fly to the moon.
41:15but they couldn't some of us wanted to play for England in a World Cup final and
41:24in two months time some of you lads have got the chance to make that a reality a
41:29World Cup final I mean we're not sending Annie McGuire to move anyway we need it
41:36all I ask you you lads is to keep dreaming listen I can forgive a bad pass
41:41a penalty miss but what I cannot forgive is the inability to believe we can do it
41:48well you're necessary sure does that we live in divisive times and the
41:54opportunities for this country to come together a few and far between it with
42:00Gallagher's last summer that brought us together me and I Nikki had best air as
42:03life unbelievable but now it's your turn to go and play your heart side not for me
42:09not for Widdicombe not for Brooker do it for kids up and down country we're still
42:13dreaming and if football comes home and I mean this from bottom of me heart if it
42:19comes home I'm banging a bargain bucket gravy coleslaw viennet of beans job
42:25lot it's on me and I mean that so get up and down and play for that badge but more
42:31importantly let's try and stay together as one all right Steve
42:47and we're gonna unveil an anthem for the World Cup we'll see you in a little bit
43:06you know
43:07the rain Kelly and Steve Bracknell last week on the show we met someone by the
43:11name of Becky Coleman now Becky was aiming to become the first wheelchair user to
43:14row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course arms only yesterday she smashed it
43:20in 33 minutes and sent us this picture with the little hands and a boat that we
43:24gave her. Becky's here tonight. Becky, congratulations. Well done.
43:41I also want to give a shout out to the Keithley Cougars rugby league team if I can. Last year
43:45on
43:45the show, you might remember, Alistair Campbell challenged Keithley to help out the Ukrainian
43:49rugby league team. Keithley then provided them with their official kit, offered to fly a bunch
43:53of teenage rugby league players from Ukraine to the UK for a week. The Ukrainian kids landed
44:00into Leeds Bradford this afternoon. They're going to spend the weekend in Keithley and
44:03Castleford playing and watching rugby league, which is awesome. They're also taking a day
44:09trip to Haworth, I think that's how you pronounce it, home of the Bronte sisters, because you
44:13know how much rugby league players love the Bronte sisters. Heath Cliff! Heath Cliff!
44:20Oh, we all joined. I didn't expect you to join. This is the greatest audience of all of us.
44:35Josh has been orbiting the last seven days. What have you got? OK. Would you like to see...
44:40He's got to read it off the card. Would you like to see an incredible clip of what could possibly
44:44go wrong when collecting your food at the end of a night? Out. Yes, please.
44:50LAUGHTER
44:51LAUGHTER
44:54LAUGHTER
44:54LAUGHTER
44:56LAUGHTER
44:56LAUGHTER
44:57LAUGHTER
44:57LAUGHTER
44:59It's the way he tries to save it. It's such a journey, then.
45:03Would you like to see some awkward footage of poor old Craig Doyle being interrupted during
45:08rugby teams' warm-up? Yes.
45:11LAUGHTER
45:11LAUGHTER
45:12So, we said to David, you're a member of the team, you need an initiation,
45:15usually it's a song in the bottom, you're going to dance something disgusting.
45:18I'm ready to sing, to be fair.
45:19You're going to kick this ball?
45:20Yeah, it's going to be a debut defining moment, I think.
45:22You're a pro footballer, watch it, guys. Let's have a look.
45:25Brave man.
45:28Get there!
45:29It's good effort. It's good effort.
45:31These chaps are giving me this...
45:32Would you sign him, Geoff?
45:34Would you sign him?
45:34I'm not fucking on.
45:35I'll serve it.
45:37OK.
45:38I'm not happy about that, OK?
45:40I apologise you, sir.
45:41LAUGHTER
45:43LAUGHTER
45:43All right, we are about to end the show with a song for the World Cup,
45:46but before we do, would you please thank our guests,
45:47Josh Pugh!
45:49CHEERING
45:50Wayne Kelly!
45:52CHEERING
45:52And Steve Bracknell!
45:56And my co-host Josh Whittaker!
45:58And Alex Blocker!
46:00CHEERING
46:01We'll be back later in the year with more Last Leg,
46:04but right now, with the World Cup coming up,
46:06we thought we'd give a shout-out to all the countries competing
46:09and wish them luck with every single part of their journey.
46:20Looking at a summer of football
46:2348 countries and all are competing here
46:29I sit and I wonder just who to cheer
46:35England
46:38Not Wales, cos they went with failure, but in June
46:44Scotland might dance to a different tune
46:48Tune in to Sea Witch Nation
46:50Gets to USA migration
46:53Getting into America
46:55Whoa!
46:56Whoa!
46:56Getting into America
46:58Whoa!
47:00Has become a massive pain in the ass
47:05Past the urban Herzegovina
47:08Norway, Switzerland, Portugal, maybe France
47:14Even Croatia have got a chance
47:20Sweden
47:21Sweden, Jordan and Ghana
47:23Sweden, Jordan and Ghana
47:24Brazil, Ivory Coast and Uzbekistan
47:28We're not gonna put money on Iran
47:33We're not gonna put money on Iran
47:33Which country's gonna be successful?
47:35Wipe all the ass from your iPhone
47:38Getting into America
47:40Getting into America
47:43Getting into America
47:43Whoa!
47:45Has become a massive pain in the ass
47:49Thanks for watching The Last Leg
47:50My name's Adam Hills
47:51We'll see you later in the air
47:53For the next leg
47:54You won't pretend
47:57Thank you
48:03It'swoman
48:04Just 모�myUNDDDI
48:04issue That was it
48:05Welcome to America
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