00:00When she tells you she doesn't feel safe with you, it's not because you're dangerous in the way that like
00:04you've got a knife and you're running around trying to kill people.
00:06It's that your emotions are wild and you're fragile to be around.
00:10And she's afraid to say anything because if she says the wrong thing, you're going to explode.
00:13And that emotionality, that's the danger.
00:17Men in rage, in anger, in frustration, in defensiveness, in reactivity, that's the danger.
00:24So when she says she doesn't feel safe with you, that's what she's talking about.
00:27And you know it's true because you can't feel your emotions and you know you can't feel your emotions or
00:32you don't even know what they are.
00:33And then you know that occasionally you explode and then you try to ignore it like it didn't happen for
00:3610 days.
00:37And then you go like, oh, we're all good. Everything's fine, right?
00:40No, it's not. It's not all right.
00:42And it's okay. You didn't learn.
00:44You didn't learn how to work with your emotions as a young person.
00:46That makes sense. Neither did I. Neither did most people, women included.
00:50But here we are.
00:52If she said she doesn't feel safe with you, it's about learning to feel your experience.
00:57Wow, I have tension in my chest and I'm feeling anxious.
01:00Oh, my shoulders are heavy. I feel depressed.
01:02Man, my face is hot. I'm angry.
01:04It's about feeling your feelings and then knowing how to work with them so they don't all explode at your
01:09wife and kids.
01:10Bro, seriously.
01:12You can become more disciplined in your attunement to self.
01:16You can become more aware around your emotional experience.
01:20And you can become really competent at working with your emotions in a way where you go,
01:24Oh, cool. I'm not exploding at my wife and kids anymore.
01:26How fucking awesome.
01:27That's a lot to be proud of, my friend.
01:29You can do it.
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