00:07Daddy, played by Hanley Stafford, has received an enormous bill from the telephone company,
00:11including a charge of $12 for a long-distance call, which completely mystifies him.
00:17As the scene opens, we find him on the phone talking to the company's business manager.
00:22Listen.
00:23Well, look here.
00:25What did you say your name was?
00:26Barley.
00:27T.P. Barley.
00:28Oh, yes.
00:29Well, Mr. Barley, I'm quite sure there's been a mistake about this call for $12.
00:33Neither I nor my wife made any long-distance calls this month.
00:37I see.
00:38Mr. Higgins, I'd like to check this with the charge operator.
00:41You might have to call your bank.
00:42Okay.
00:42Goodbye.
00:44Goodbye.
00:45Broken-down phone company.
00:48Slightly nervous putting a charge like that on my bed.
00:53How are you?
00:54Oh, hello, Snooks.
00:56Did you mail my letter?
00:57Oh, yes.
01:00I told you to buy a stamp with that money.
01:03I didn't need no stamp.
01:04What do you mean?
01:06I skipped the letter in the box when nobody was looking.
01:11Oh, Snooks.
01:12Smells good?
01:13Why, of course not.
01:14I don't want people to think I'm a cheapskate for a measly two cents.
01:18Why?
01:19Because I'm not a cheapskate.
01:21Ain't you?
01:21No.
01:22No.
01:22I'm going to give me the two cents.
01:25Oh, all right.
01:26Now run along and let me figure...
01:29Hello?
01:30Mr. Higgins, this is Mr. Barley again.
01:32Oh, yes?
01:32I'm sorry, but that call weren't made from your house on April 1st.
01:36It was a party-to-party call to New York.
01:39New York?
01:40That's right.
01:41I've talked to the operator who handled the call, and she says it sounded like a child.
01:47Uh-huh.
01:49A child.
01:51Uh-oh.
01:52The party called was a Mr. Louie...
01:55Never mind.
01:55Thanks a lot.
01:56Goodbye.
01:57I think I'll go out and play.
01:58Stay here, you.
02:00Now, Snooks.
02:02Yes, Daddy?
02:03Why were you running out in such a hurry?
02:05I thought you said goodbye to me.
02:07I said goodbye to the manager of a telephone company.
02:10Oh, is he going someplace?
02:12No.
02:12He has a dreary job that keeps him in his office all the time.
02:16Why?
02:17He has to check long-distance telephone calls.
02:20Oh.
02:21Oh, it's dreary, ain't it?
02:23Very.
02:24Oh, uh, Snooks.
02:27Have you any idea how much a call to New York costs?
02:30No.
02:31I see.
02:32Of course, you wouldn't dream of making a telephone call to New York.
02:36Wouldn't I?
02:38Would you?
02:39Would it make somebody mad?
02:42It certainly would.
02:43I wouldn't dream of a dad.
02:45That's what I thought.
02:47Snooks, look at me.
02:49All right.
02:52What are you going about?
02:54You got that spanked look on your face.
02:59That's very strange.
03:01You haven't done anything that I should spank you, have you?
03:04I didn't call up Uncle Louie.
03:06I didn't say you did.
03:08But you're going to say it.
03:10What makes you think so?
03:12Because?
03:13Huh?
03:14If you have no guilty knowledge, what prompted you to remark that you didn't call up Uncle Louie?
03:19I said the wrong thing, huh?
03:22It would appear so.
03:23As a matter of fact, somebody did call Uncle Louie in New York.
03:26And the telephone company has charged me for the call.
03:29Now, who did it?
03:31Uh, could it be the cook?
03:34No, it couldn't be the cook.
03:35Why?
03:36Because the day off.
03:37That was her day off.
03:39No.
03:40It couldn't be the cook.
03:41No, and it couldn't have been Mommy because she was staying at Grandma's.
03:44How about...
03:45Lopes Pierre can't even talk.
03:48If that's what you're thinking.
03:50That's what I was thinking.
03:51And I know I didn't make the call, so it leaves only one person in this household.
03:57The boarder.
03:58We haven't got any boarders.
04:00Oh, let's take in some boarders, Daddy.
04:03Snooks, I've eliminated everybody except you.
04:06Can I have some, too?
04:07Some what?
04:08Some lemonade.
04:10I said eliminated, not lemonade.
04:13Now, in the face of this overwhelming evidence, could it be possible that you'll deny you made the call?
04:19Could that be?
04:21Could be.
04:23Very well.
04:24And I'll tell you this.
04:26I just had the call checked, and the charge operator said it was made by a little girl.
04:31All right, I'll give you the nickel.
04:32Nickel?
04:33That call cost $12.
04:35I didn't do it.
04:36Oh, you didn't, eh?
04:37No.
04:37But you were just willing to pay a nickel for it.
04:40A woman's got a right to change her mind, ain't she?
04:43Now, Snooks, I'm warning you.
04:45You'd better make a clean breast of this whole thing.
04:47Now, tell me everything.
04:48All right.
04:49Hey, did you know our little pussycat had six kittens today?
04:52What about it?
04:55I didn't even know she was married.
04:57That's it.
04:58I'm irrelevant.
05:00Now, I want a full confession.
05:01I want the truth.
05:02All right, Daddy.
05:03Who made the call?
05:05The cat done it.
05:07Cat?
05:08She wanted to tell her husband that she was...
05:09Now, I told you I want the truth.
05:11Why did you make that call?
05:13I didn't want to do it.
05:15But they made me.
05:16Who made you?
05:17The four Indians.
05:19What four Indians?
05:21What'd you say, Daddy?
05:22You said four Indians made your call on Kaluwi.
05:26Well, is that all?
05:30Ain't it enough?
05:31No, it ain't.
05:33I refuse to believe any story about Indians.
05:35Well, will you believe it about cowboys?
05:37No.
05:38Demon?
05:39I won't listen to any of that ridiculous nonsense.
05:41You made a call to New York that cost $12.
05:44Now, why did you do it?
05:45And remember, I want the truth.
05:46All right.
05:47Well?
05:49A dragon walked in and scared me, so I called Uncle Louis.
05:54Oh, a dragon, eh?
05:56Yeah.
05:56I see.
05:57And what did this dragon walk in for?
05:59I think he was a census taker.
06:03All right, Jooks.
06:04I've had enough of this.
06:05Me too.
06:06Now, you stay here.
06:07I've listened to your fantastic stories long enough.
06:09And now I want the truth.
06:11Comprehend?
06:11Comprehend.
06:13I want you to tell me exactly what happened when you called Uncle Louis in New York.
06:18Go ahead.
06:20All right.
06:21I found his number in your little black book.
06:25My little black book.
06:28Who's Feetie Daddy?
06:29Never mind that.
06:33You little snoop.
06:35Now, go on with your story.
06:37Well, I called the number and then I waited.
06:41Yes.
06:42Then Uncle Louis said, hello.
06:44Go on.
06:45Then I said, hello.
06:46And he said, who is this?
06:48Continue.
06:49Then I said, this is a kind of pot of gold program.
06:53You win $1,000.
06:55Good heavens.
06:56Well, what did he do?
06:59I think he fainted.
07:01He did?
07:03I see.
07:05Then what happened?
07:07I waited a few minutes to see if he was still alive.
07:10Yes.
07:11Then I said, April Fool and hung up.
07:15He never knew it was you?
07:17No.
07:19I wish I could have seen his face.
07:23I bet he's still waiting for the money.
07:28Ain't you going to thank me?
07:29I know so.
07:31It's worth $12 to see that tight one.
07:33Get it in the neck.
07:35In the dime.
07:35Go out and play.
07:41Do you feel all right, Daddy?
07:44I never felt better in my life.
07:48Bye, Daddy.
08:00Oh, lovely, Mary.
08:01That was a real treat.
08:02And now we continue...
08:03Excuse me, Dick.
08:04Oh, hello, Daddy.
08:05Did I hear you say you bagged some wild boys?
08:08Oh, no, no.
08:08I didn't say I bagged any, but I did go hunting for them.
08:11Hey, Mary, come back here.
08:12He's going to tell about it.
08:13Oh, how do I want to miss this?
08:15Well, what's all the excitement about?
08:17Yeah, what's all the excitement about?
08:19Oh, Snooks, don't sneak up on me like that.
08:22Why?
08:23Oh, keep still, Snooks.
08:24Where'd you go hunting, Dick?
08:26Well, Kat Mina.
08:27Joan and I go almost every weekend.
08:29Who's Joan, Daddy?
08:30Shh, that's Joan Blondell.
08:32Mrs. Powell.
08:33Oh, is it his mother?
08:36No, it's his wife.
08:38Oh.
08:39Hey, Dick, I sure wish I could go along with you next week.
08:42Be glad to have you, Meredith.
08:43I know.
08:43Let's form a little party.
08:45I want to go to the party.
08:46Oh, stop it.
08:48How about you coming along then, Mary?
08:50Sounds good to me, but I'm not very handy with a gun.
08:53Oh, I'll learn you how, Mary.
08:54I'm a regular ramrod.
08:56Nimrod.
08:56I mean, Nimrod.
09:01He's, um, Amy, Daddy.
09:03Oh, I suppose you're a smarty pants.
09:05You're dope.
09:06You're dopier than me, Amy, Daddy.
09:09Oh, Snooks.
09:10You mean dopier than I.
09:12He's dopier than the both of us.
09:15Now, look, folks.
09:16If we're all going on a hunting trip, let's not start fighting now.
09:19Well, she started it.
09:21I did not suck him, Daddy.
09:23Now, behave yourself, Snooks.
09:24Now, listen, fellas.
09:26I'll, uh, take her home and we'll make the arrangements later.
09:29I ain't going home.
09:30Oh, why not?
09:31I want to go hunting.
09:33You can go hunting with us.
09:34Why?
09:35Because it's too dangerous.
09:37You might get hit by a...
09:39Hmm.
09:44What's the matter?
09:46Oh, nothing.
09:47You can go.
09:48Uh, you'd certainly wrestle with your conscience that time, Daddy.
09:52Snooks, you be a good girl and stay home and we'll bring you a pair of tusks.
09:55What's tusks?
09:56Boar's teeth.
09:58What's a boar?
09:59A boar is a wild pig.
10:01Why is he wild?
10:03I don't know.
10:04He can't help it, I guess.
10:06Why?
10:08Take her, Daddy.
10:10Listen, Snooks.
10:11You know what a boar is and you know what it looks like.
10:14No, I don't.
10:14You do, too.
10:15I showed you a picture the other day of that wild-looking, shaggy, ugly thing with a snout and long
10:20protruding teeth.
10:21You mean Uncle Louie?
10:24Oh, come on.
10:24I'll see you later, then.
10:27I want to go hunting.
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