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#film commedia in italiano
Trascrizione
00:00:17Grazie a tutti.
00:00:41Grazie a tutti.
00:01:17Grazie a tutti.
00:01:46Grazie a tutti.
00:02:00Grazie a tutti.
00:03:00Grazie a tutti.
00:03:09Grazie a tutti.
00:03:14Do you have any packs or...
00:03:15No, I didn't really plan this trip.
00:03:16I just had to get away.
00:03:23No, I didn't really plan this day.
00:04:07God damn it.
00:04:09God damn it.
00:04:27Yeah, it smells like farts.
00:04:51Maybe you promised we could go to Iceland.
00:04:53Oh, yeah?
00:04:54Oh, yeah?
00:04:54Oh, yeah?
00:04:55Oh, yeah?
00:04:55Tastes like...
00:04:56No, it doesn't.
00:04:57It's good.
00:04:59Okay, come here.
00:04:59Yeah, it's good.
00:05:10Yeah, it's good.
00:05:17Yeah, it's good.
00:05:18Yeah, it's good.
00:05:43Oh, yeah, it's good.
00:06:00It's good.
00:06:03Yeah, it's good.
00:06:17What the fuck am I doing here?
00:06:44Loft-er.
00:06:47Folktales about magic in Iceland go back a thousand years to the first Viking settlers.
00:06:52And while we enjoy the freedom of religion today, many have been burned at the stake for their belief in
00:06:58sorcery in the past.
00:07:00Now, most of the magic used by everyday people were simple symbols or staves.
00:07:05But some stories talk about mysterious black spells.
00:07:08One of the most famous Icelandic stories is about a magic student named Loft-er, who craved to know all
00:07:15the spells he could.
00:07:17And after he exhausted the knowledge of the day, Loft-er decided he wanted to learn ancient secrets by raising
00:07:23someone from the dead.
00:07:26He performed a powerful and complicated spell, now known as Loft-er spell, which was said to contain magic so
00:07:33strong it could control Satan himself.
00:07:36He chanted and drew runes in the blood of a murdered man.
00:07:39He carved a stave on his chest.
00:07:41And many of us say he will one day return and complete his spell.
00:07:46Sir. Sir. Are you all right, sir?
00:07:51Oh, yeah. Sorry. Uh, yeah. I just had this, um, condition. Uh, sorry. I'm gonna find a pharmacy.
00:08:10So, uh, that's what I was saying.
00:08:17This is, uh, Betty Miller calling for Dr. Haskell.
00:08:19If you could give me a call back, that would be great.
00:08:22Uh, they're not renewing my prescription, which is frustrating because my OCD is getting a bit out of control.
00:08:27And I'm in Iceland, which should make this whole process infinitely harder. Thanks.
00:08:36What's the, uh, Icelandic term for self-medicating?
00:08:40Uh, you're with a key.
00:08:43Yeah. Here's the hat.
00:08:50Yeah, man. You don't want to mess with diabetes, because that'll, like, go through your whole family, you know?
00:08:56You.
00:08:58Oh!
00:08:59Oh!
00:08:59I feel good. You're like, uh, at long, at long.
00:09:02Oh, sorry. I don't speak, uh, Icelandic.
00:09:04Oh, okay. I was just saying I'm sorry. We've been yelling in your ear, and now I'm spelling a drink.
00:09:09Oh, no. It's okay. Let us buy you a drink.
00:09:12Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a drink. Yeah, yeah, of course.
00:09:14We're about to have a round of lante.
00:09:16Yeah.
00:09:16Lante?
00:09:17Lante. It's like real Icelandic moonshine.
00:09:21I mean, sure.
00:09:22Yeah, let's do it.
00:09:23All right.
00:09:26Scout!
00:09:26Scout!
00:09:27Scout!
00:09:28Scout!
00:09:28Scout!
00:09:32Holy shit.
00:09:34Is that poison? That was terrible.
00:09:36What? You didn't like it?
00:09:38No!
00:09:39No.
00:09:40Let's do some more!
00:09:42Yeah!
00:09:42Scout!
00:09:43Scout!
00:09:44Scout!
00:09:45Okay, okay.
00:09:46It's Jörn, Hildur, Vicky, and Inga, Jörn, Jörn, Jörn.
00:09:53That's even worse, man.
00:09:56So, what are you doing here?
00:09:58Um, I don't know. Just hanging out in the city, I guess.
00:10:01He should go with stink door, of course.
00:10:03Yeah.
00:10:04What is a stink door?
00:10:07Stink door.
00:10:08He's this crazy old man.
00:10:10He gives private tours to tourists and shows you shit.
00:10:13No tourists ever get to see.
00:10:15You love it.
00:10:16You love it.
00:10:17Do it in the morning.
00:10:18No.
00:10:19He has a seriously cool cabin by a waterfall.
00:10:22No, no.
00:10:23I'm brand new.
00:10:24No.
00:10:24You know what?
00:10:25I'll email him.
00:10:25No.
00:10:26No.
00:10:26Hold on.
00:10:27Wait.
00:10:27No, I don't know.
00:10:29Do it!
00:10:30Come on.
00:10:31Do it.
00:10:35Fuck it.
00:10:36I'm in.
00:10:37It's a stink door.
00:10:38It's a stink door.
00:10:40It's a stink door.
00:10:43Oh.
00:10:45Oh.
00:10:46You should watch it.
00:10:46I'm hungry.
00:10:48Yep.
00:10:50Guys.
00:10:51Let's go.
00:10:52Should we go?
00:10:53Yeah?
00:10:53Okay.
00:10:54Come on.
00:10:54Come on.
00:10:55Come on.
00:10:57Come on.
00:10:57Come on.
00:10:58Come on.
00:10:58Everything okay?
00:11:02Yeah, yeah, there you see.
00:11:04Okay.
00:11:04Hi.
00:11:06Oh, we'll see you.
00:11:07Are you gonna go?
00:11:07See you.
00:11:08We have to finish our game, right?
00:11:10Okay.
00:11:10Oh, now that you've stolen my guy.
00:11:14And?
00:11:14You're a thief.
00:11:15Yep.
00:11:16And now he died.
00:11:17Yeah.
00:11:17So you lose.
00:11:19Okay.
00:11:20That's fair.
00:11:31Sorry.
00:11:33It's okay.
00:11:35You should take a walk.
00:11:37All right.
00:11:38Okay.
00:11:40Okay.
00:11:42Okay.
00:11:44You sure?
00:11:46I swear, Bjorn is not a serial killer.
00:11:49Those glasses are so bad.
00:11:50I know.
00:11:51Hey, you got any tattoos?
00:11:53Uh, yeah, I have seven.
00:11:55What?
00:11:55Yeah.
00:11:56But they're all where you can't see them.
00:11:58Oh, okay.
00:11:59Well, now I have a new goal in life.
00:12:01Do you think I was giving you a challenge?
00:12:03Yes.
00:12:04Oh, my God.
00:12:05You Americans are so confident.
00:12:08How many do you have?
00:12:10None.
00:12:10Oh.
00:12:11Yeah, I've never liked one enough to get it.
00:12:13Oh.
00:12:14Well, how about this?
00:12:17If you get one right here, right now, I will show you one of mine.
00:12:25Do I get to pick which tattoo?
00:12:28No.
00:12:29Okay, then I'm gonna need to see at least five of your tattoos.
00:12:33Uh, three.
00:12:35Three is not enough.
00:12:38Three and a half.
00:12:39Yeah?
00:12:39Three and a half?
00:12:40Yeah.
00:12:40Let's give me a goddamn tattoo.
00:12:41Oh, my God.
00:12:42Okay.
00:12:52I mean, the skull Viking, right?
00:12:54Yeah.
00:12:56These are really popular with tourists.
00:12:59Oh.
00:12:59Well, I don't want that.
00:13:01I want a tourist one.
00:13:02Might as well get a barbed wire tattoo.
00:13:05Um, I know, I know what you should get.
00:13:08What?
00:13:08I have something that I was just looking at the other day.
00:13:12It's like old school Icelandic.
00:13:14Let me show you.
00:13:16Oh, cool.
00:13:17Have you seen it?
00:13:18Yeah, what are they?
00:13:19What are they?
00:13:19It's called staves.
00:13:21Oh, yeah.
00:13:22I saw these at the magic museum I went in yesterday.
00:13:25Oh, yeah.
00:13:25They all mean stuff, right?
00:13:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:27But just different stuff.
00:13:28This is like to reveal a thief.
00:13:31This is like to keep your cow's milk from curses.
00:13:36Yeah, I don't want a curse cow milk.
00:13:38You should probably do that one.
00:13:40Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:13:40Go back.
00:13:42That one.
00:13:43That one?
00:13:44Why?
00:13:46I don't know.
00:13:46It just kind of speaks to me.
00:13:49What does it mean?
00:13:52It's for good luck.
00:13:54Yeah?
00:13:55Yeah.
00:13:55Okay.
00:13:56Done.
00:13:57Let's do it.
00:13:58Is this going to hurt?
00:13:59No.
00:14:09No.
00:14:10Are you trying to tell me what happened?
00:14:12Yeah.
00:14:13Yeah.
00:14:14Yeah, that's a good one.
00:14:16All right.
00:14:17Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
00:14:19Ah.
00:14:25Hey, so, when does this stop hurting so bad?
00:14:27Sì, sì.
00:14:29Non mi dispiare a dire, è stato un po' e l'hatello.
00:14:31Oh, jeez, non mi capito.
00:14:33Hey, um...
00:14:35Pay up.
00:14:36What?
00:14:373.5 tattos, pay up.
00:14:39Right here? Now?
00:14:40Mm-hmm.
00:14:43All right, get one.
00:14:45Ok, i'll take it.
00:14:51Well, come over, I'm not gonna show it to the whole town.
00:14:53Sorry.
00:14:55Yeah.
00:14:56That's a good one.
00:15:07Oh, my God.
00:15:08Holy shit.
00:15:12Sorry.
00:15:13It's okay.
00:15:15Um, can we go to your place? I have a roommate.
00:15:20Yes.
00:15:21Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:22Um, yeah, we can go to my hotel.
00:15:25I have no idea where it is.
00:15:35Shut up.
00:15:38Okay.
00:15:39Here it is.
00:15:40Um...
00:15:40I need to pee.
00:15:42Oh, my God.
00:15:43It's the room, um, without a bed in it.
00:15:46Right.
00:15:52Uh, hey, I just realized, um, I don't have a condom.
00:15:58Uh, not that I was assuming I'd need one.
00:16:02It's just, um...
00:16:04I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:06I just didn't expect to meet anybody.
00:16:08Although, I'm glad I did.
00:16:11Because, um, you're very hot and pretty and nice and...
00:16:18Yeah, it's nice and cool.
00:16:24Oh, I, I want.
00:16:26Oh, that's good.
00:16:27Yeah.
00:16:28How fortunate.
00:16:35Do you have any good playlists?
00:16:38And I have a million of them.
00:16:41Oh.
00:16:48All right.
00:16:49Oh, I see where you're going.
00:16:51Mm-hmm.
00:16:53You are wearing so many clothes.
00:16:55We should probably take off a lot of these clothes.
00:16:58Yeah.
00:17:00Could be dangerous.
00:17:02Other of those tattoos I keep hearing about.
00:17:04You talk a lot.
00:17:06I'm sorry.
00:17:07I talk so much.
00:17:09Wait, no.
00:17:11I want these on.
00:17:12You sure?
00:17:13Yeah.
00:17:17I'm sorry.
00:17:18Come on.
00:17:21Wait.
00:17:22Here.
00:17:46Are you okay?
00:17:48Yeah.
00:17:50Sorry, I've been drinking, I guess.
00:17:52Yeah, no, it's, it's okay.
00:17:57It's all right if I, uh, change the song?
00:18:00Yeah.
00:18:04I don't know why I put it on
00:18:14It was my
00:18:17fiancée and I's song
00:18:21Are you engaged?
00:18:25Yeah
00:18:27No, no, sorry
00:18:31She passed away a few months ago
00:18:35Well, I'm so sorry
00:18:36No, no, no, I am
00:18:38It's
00:18:41No, I'm fucked up
00:18:42I'm fucking this all up
00:18:44I don't know what the fuck I'm doing
00:18:49I carry her ring around
00:18:51No, this is
00:18:56I'm sorry, I think this might be a mistake
00:18:58You know, I think
00:18:59Please, come here
00:19:00Hey
00:19:04I'm not gonna bite
00:19:05I mean, I was
00:19:07But I'm not going to
00:19:11Please, come
00:19:12Come here
00:19:15It's okay
00:19:20Really
00:19:21Really
00:19:26Um
00:19:30Right, so
00:19:32So you don't
00:19:35Think of her
00:19:37Okay
00:19:38Jess
00:19:40What was her name?
00:19:46Jess
00:19:48How can I fight
00:19:52It's okay
00:19:55You don't
00:19:59Eight
00:20:00Oh
00:20:02Oh
00:20:02Oh
00:20:02Oh
00:20:03Oh
00:20:05Oh
00:20:06Oh
00:20:07Oh
00:20:09Oh
00:20:09Oh
00:20:09Oh
00:20:10Oh
00:20:13Oh
00:20:29Sì, sì, ho vedi.
00:20:31No, no, no, non, no.
00:20:32No.
00:20:37Hai, hai, hai.
00:20:38Hai, hai.
00:20:39Hai, hai, hai, hai.
00:20:40Hai, hai.
00:20:44Hai, hai.
00:20:45Hai, hai.
00:20:47That feels a little better than good.
00:20:50Can I return the favor?
00:20:52Want to what?
00:20:54You know, can I go down on you?
00:20:56No, I'm good.
00:20:57Thank noري.
00:20:58No, I want to.
00:20:58Please.
00:20:59I'd like to.
00:21:00I want to.
00:21:01All right.
00:21:02Thank for offering this.
00:21:04Really, I'm good.
00:21:05Yeah?
00:21:06Yeah.
00:21:07You're welcome.
00:21:09I'm a real hero.
00:21:35Oh God, I should have drank more and more water.
00:21:42How are you feeling?
00:21:48Inga.
00:21:54Inga.
00:21:59I feel so used.
00:22:02Oh God.
00:22:21Who takes an empty pill bottle?
00:22:42What?
00:22:59She took the ring.
00:23:03She took the ring.
00:23:10She took the ring.
00:23:11She took the ring.
00:23:38She took the ring.
00:23:39Uh, Steendor?
00:23:40Do you have any gloves?
00:23:42Uh, no.
00:23:44What?
00:23:44Do you have a hat?
00:23:47No.
00:23:48Shit.
00:23:48It's at the store.
00:23:49Shit.
00:23:50Is this your only jacket?
00:23:54Yes.
00:23:55I just got it.
00:23:56There was a whole thing with teenagers and ketchup.
00:23:59I don't...
00:24:00I'm having a rough day.
00:24:03Okay.
00:24:04Okay.
00:24:05Get on the track.
00:24:06Okay, here's the thing though.
00:24:07I got your name from a woman named Inga.
00:24:10And she told me to meet you and she also turned out to be the psychopath who stole a bunch
00:24:15of important shit from me and so all I need to know from you is if you know Inga.
00:24:19Yes, I know her.
00:24:21Yes, I know her.
00:24:22Inga can be... impulsive.
00:24:25Yeah.
00:24:26No shit.
00:24:28Um, can I please get her phone number from you?
00:24:31I will talk to her.
00:24:32She will return what she took from you.
00:24:34Okay, good.
00:24:36Good.
00:24:37Thank you.
00:24:38When do you think this will happen?
00:24:40When I'm back from this trip.
00:24:41A few days.
00:24:42Okay.
00:24:43But I don't need to go on the trip now.
00:24:45So we can...
00:24:45We can do it now though.
00:24:47I'm going with or without you.
00:24:48We used to go.
00:24:50See the island.
00:24:51No one has ever regretted it.
00:24:54Then we will return.
00:24:56You will get your things back.
00:25:03Where do you go?
00:25:04North.
00:25:06Yeah?
00:25:07You eat what I make.
00:25:08Sleep when I say.
00:25:10And what do you see?
00:25:11Beautiful things.
00:25:14I mean...
00:25:16Is it cool?
00:25:19Very cool.
00:25:27Ohhhhhhhhhh.
00:25:28Okay.
00:25:29Fuck it.
00:25:36Ohhhhhhhhhh.
00:25:42Okay.
00:25:42Fuck it.
00:25:46Okay.
00:25:47Can we listen to some music?
00:25:52Are we getting out?
00:25:56I guess we're getting out.
00:26:01Be very careful.
00:26:03Okay.
00:26:03Don't go too far.
00:26:05No far.
00:26:06What is this place?
00:26:10This is actually the old parliament.
00:26:12I'll think ye.
00:26:14The old clans.
00:26:16The families came from the country.
00:26:18To this place.
00:26:19Once a year.
00:26:20Yeah.
00:26:20It's just a bunch of flies now.
00:26:23Stupid Americans.
00:26:24Hm?
00:26:25Nothing.
00:26:26Let's go.
00:26:36So is it just going to be mainly just driving around?
00:26:39Looking at stuff?
00:26:41I mean that sounds cool I guess.
00:26:43But maybe not that interesting.
00:26:45For me.
00:26:47I just...
00:26:48I don't know.
00:26:49I feel like maybe if there was bungee jumping or...
00:26:55Parasailing or something.
00:26:56That sounds fun.
00:26:58But...
00:26:59I don't know.
00:27:00Nature might not...
00:27:01Do it for me?
00:27:05Yeah!
00:27:07Don't get too close.
00:27:08Be careful.
00:27:10Very dangerous.
00:27:13Here.
00:27:14Take a photo of me in front of it.
00:27:16Why would you want to ruin a photo of something beautiful?
00:27:18By placing your fat head in front of it?
00:27:21Okay.
00:27:21Well A.
00:27:22Ouch.
00:27:23And B.
00:27:24Because it's fun.
00:27:26Have you...
00:27:26Have you experienced this feeling before?
00:27:29Fun?
00:27:30I have fun.
00:27:31Doing what?
00:27:33Making money.
00:27:35Yeah.
00:27:37Okay.
00:27:37I will pay you 1,000 kroners for each picture you take of me.
00:27:42Alright?
00:27:45Now I'm having fun.
00:27:48Do a nice job.
00:27:50Ready?
00:27:54Yeah.
00:27:55You get it?
00:27:57Yeah.
00:27:59You get it?
00:28:00Yeah.
00:28:00You get it?
00:28:00Okay.
00:28:01One, two, three.
00:28:03Yeah.
00:28:04You get it?
00:28:04Got it.
00:28:14Oh, come on.
00:28:16Come on.
00:28:19Oh, come on.
00:28:20Oh, this is so gross.
00:28:21One picture.
00:28:23No.
00:28:24Please.
00:28:24No.
00:28:25They're birds, man.
00:28:26They're just...
00:28:27No.
00:28:27No.
00:28:27They're just...
00:28:28Shit.
00:28:30Stand up!
00:28:32Stand up!
00:28:34What am I doing wrong?
00:28:36Hey, take a picture of me on top of this thing.
00:28:40No.
00:28:41Why not?
00:28:42Not everything is to be climbed, to be mocked.
00:28:45This is a sacred stone.
00:28:47This is a rune stone.
00:28:50Sorry.
00:28:50Do you need me to, uh, offend?
00:28:53What's a rune stone?
00:28:56Ancient writings.
00:28:57Oh, yeah.
00:28:58Inga was showing me those.
00:29:00It tells the story of those who lived here.
00:29:02Died here.
00:29:05It's marked by magic.
00:29:09It's powerful.
00:29:11Yeah?
00:29:13You believe all that stuff?
00:29:15Magic?
00:29:19What do I do?
00:29:32How does it work?
00:29:34How does what work?
00:29:36Magic.
00:29:38Like, where does the power come from?
00:29:40Is it, uh, God, or spirits, or, uh, I don't know, the moon?
00:29:51Haven't you heard of Einstein?
00:29:53Yeah, I've heard of Einstein.
00:29:55B equals MC squared.
00:29:58Physical mass is just energy in another state.
00:30:03We are made of energy.
00:30:06That's it?
00:30:07That's kind of like simplifying the whole thing.
00:30:11I had to turn it down for you.
00:30:14How does you, being way over there, say something,
00:30:17and then me, an autonomous person, way over here, do it?
00:30:23Where does that power, how does that work?
00:30:29If I do a spell right now, and it works,
00:30:33would you shut up for the next hour or so?
00:30:37Yeah. Yes.
00:30:40Abracadabra. Hocus Pocus.
00:30:42You would imagine a spider crawling through your hair.
00:30:47Okay.
00:30:51So dumb.
00:30:53It's so dumb.
00:30:54But here's the thing.
00:30:55It's only working because you put that in my head.
00:30:58And that's how magic works.
00:31:01Now shut up.
00:31:03There, let's go.
00:31:12So we're sleeping in there like both of us?
00:31:16Yup.
00:31:18Or you can sleep in the tent.
00:31:28Or you could sleep in the tent.
00:31:31Or you could sleep in the tent.
00:31:33Or you could sleep in the tent.
00:31:49Or you could sleep in the tent.
00:31:56I'm leaving.
00:31:57I'll need your mind, I won't go blind.
00:32:05We're leaving.
00:32:08Dress wall.
00:32:11I don't have any warm clothes.
00:32:22So, this is a glacier.
00:32:24What do you think it is?
00:32:26It looks like snow and ice.
00:32:29What do you think a glacier is made out of?
00:32:34You know, you're like the least friendly tour guide ever.
00:32:37Most of them are polite and kind to their clients.
00:32:40They don't just growl at them with foreboding eyes.
00:32:44Come on, just climb.
00:32:50Be careful.
00:32:52Don't fall in.
00:32:53Don't fall into what?
00:32:56Don't find out.
00:33:05It's amazing.
00:33:07I mean, I don't know what the difference between ice and a glacier is.
00:33:11A glacier is ice that moves under its own weight.
00:33:16It's unstoppable.
00:33:24Yeah, this is weird.
00:33:30I have these compulsions.
00:33:34They used to be okay, but then they got worse a while ago.
00:33:42Now they get worse even more when I'm off my medication and stressed.
00:33:47Which sucks, because they're hard to control.
00:33:55I don't.
00:33:58Then don't what?
00:34:00Don't control them?
00:34:02That's great.
00:34:03Then they just walk around looking like a freak?
00:34:06That's good.
00:34:10You don't know what you're talking about.
00:34:14That's good.
00:34:18Fuck you.
00:34:23Every ten fucking minutes, I have this thought that pops into my head.
00:34:27Hey, stick something in your ear.
00:34:31Find something long and sharp, and stick it an inch and a half in your left ear.
00:34:37And do it.
00:34:38Do it now.
00:34:39Do it.
00:34:41I have to willingly push this thought away.
00:34:45Then ten minutes later, it comes back.
00:34:51Fuck.
00:34:53It's okay.
00:34:56It's okay.
00:34:58Come here.
00:34:59I want to show you something.
00:35:02Put your fingers in the snow.
00:35:04For what?
00:35:07Humor me.
00:35:18Don't control them.
00:35:34Look.
00:35:35Look.
00:35:39What the fuck is that?
00:35:41This has been with my family for centuries.
00:35:45My father gave it to me.
00:35:47And his father gave it to him.
00:36:00What good is it to stand up to a glacier?
00:36:03It will go where it pleases.
00:36:07A mountain can stand in its way with all its might.
00:36:11But if the glacier wants it, it will break that mountain.
00:36:20You cannot control something.
00:36:23You can only destroy it.
00:36:27It's fine.
00:36:47I don't know.
00:36:51I don't know.
00:36:54I don't know.
00:36:55I don't know.
00:36:55Jess?
00:37:04Jess?
00:37:11Jess?
00:37:13Jess?
00:37:27Jess?
00:37:28Það er okk.
00:37:28Þeir það er okk.
00:37:30Það er okk?
00:37:30Það er okk.
00:37:44Það er okk.
00:37:45Dimman út á bjartri Vitralbraun.
00:37:50...brain...
00:37:54...a sopa út...
00:38:01...i stjarnalaut...
00:38:06...i litati insi...
00:38:16What?
00:38:19Nothing.
00:38:22What?
00:38:24What are you drawing?
00:38:27Oh, it's just something for work.
00:38:32Seen it before?
00:38:35You've seen this.
00:38:37That Stumpy...
00:38:38...from Puschetti?
00:38:41You know Puschetti.
00:38:43Of course I know Puschetti.
00:38:44And this little dog, Ketchup.
00:38:46Yeah! Man, I draw Puschetti.
00:38:49No, no, no. That's drawn by Glenn Bean.
00:38:52No, Glenn Bean died 20 years ago, and then his son started drawing it, but then he died of diabetes,
00:38:57and then it was this lady Diane Ketchup, strangely enough.
00:39:00But she couldn't draw for shit, so now I draw Puschetti.
00:39:10So now I just copy his style, and do his characters, and make dumb jokes. It's... it's sad.
00:39:20I'm very impressed.
00:39:22We didn't know this about you.
00:39:23Who's we?
00:39:25Who's we?
00:39:27Uh...
00:39:27Isletters.
00:39:29That is not Glenn Bean.
00:39:31Oh.
00:39:32No.
00:39:32I mean...
00:39:33I don't know.
00:39:34I think it's actually pathetic.
00:39:36I'm a grown man.
00:39:37I should be drawing my own comic strip.
00:39:40No.
00:39:40I should be drawing my own comic book.
00:39:42That's what I want to do.
00:39:43That's what Jess said I should do, but...
00:39:46I don't know.
00:39:46I don't think I'm good enough.
00:39:48So, here I am, copying a dead man's style.
00:39:54No.
00:39:55This is a beautiful thing.
00:39:57A man wants greatness, so he completes the work of another great man.
00:40:04I mean...
00:40:06I don't know if I'd call this greatness, but...
00:40:10Thank you so much.
00:40:13This is right.
00:40:16Thanks.
00:40:17What are you talking about?
00:40:18Nothing.
00:40:19We're almost here.
00:40:28Hey, man.
00:40:29I don't think I can do another long-ass hike today.
00:40:33It'll be the last one.
00:40:35I promise.
00:40:46Oh, we're going in.
00:40:48Come on.
00:40:50I didn't bring a bathing suit or anything.
00:40:54You didn't bring one either.
00:40:56Come on!
00:40:58Stop being so American.
00:41:02This is gonna be straight up gross.
00:41:22I think three rocks just went inside me.
00:41:30Yeah.
00:41:33I'm sitting in a hot springs.
00:41:35In Iceland.
00:41:37Naked.
00:41:39With a creepy old man.
00:41:41Drinking vodka.
00:41:43This is...
00:41:44Very weird.
00:41:46But nice, yes.
00:41:48It is nice.
00:41:50Skull.
00:41:51Where did you get that?
00:41:55Oh, this.
00:41:56This was a gift from Inga.
00:41:59Did she choose it?
00:42:00Mm-mm.
00:42:02She showed me a bunch of designs and I liked it, so I chose it.
00:42:06Let me guess.
00:42:07It doesn't mean good luck?
00:42:23What is that?
00:42:26This is Loftus Stave.
00:42:29She made me get the magic guy's secret stave?
00:42:32You just said you chose it.
00:42:35Well then, she steered me into it or something.
00:42:38No.
00:42:39You chose it on purpose.
00:42:40Oh, I did.
00:42:42Part of you did.
00:42:43Okay.
00:42:44Explain to me how that works.
00:42:46How part of my brain could know secret knowledge that the rest of me doesn't know.
00:42:51How does a baby, knowing nothing, look for her mother's nipple?
00:42:55That's instinct, that's the subconscious, that's different.
00:43:00You're the one with a powerful stave written on his chest, whose fingers are tracing out the language he doesn't
00:43:05understand.
00:43:06Okay.
00:43:08But I am not choosing to do any of this.
00:43:10No, you're too busy controlling.
00:43:13You refuse to choose.
00:43:16We must keep doing it for you.
00:43:19What are you talking about?
00:43:23You sound crazy.
00:43:26But this is the last time.
00:43:30Okay.
00:43:31Relax.
00:43:32Come on.
00:43:34I don't want whatever this is.
00:43:36Stop.
00:43:37Stop.
00:43:37Hey!
00:43:38Stop!
00:43:40Stop!
00:43:41Fuck!
00:43:46Juice!
00:43:50Juice!
00:43:52Juice!
00:43:55I'll fucking hit you.
00:43:57I'll fucking hit you!
00:43:58Come on!
00:43:59Shit.
00:44:03Stop!
00:44:10Stop!
00:44:11Stop it!
00:44:16Stop it!
00:44:19Stop it!
00:44:20Stop!
00:44:22Stop it!
00:44:24Stop it!
00:44:25Stop it!
00:44:30Stop it!
00:44:33Stop it!
00:44:38Fuck.
00:44:39Fuck.
00:44:41Ok.
00:44:43Um.
00:44:44Fuck.
00:44:48Fuck.
00:44:49Fuck.
00:44:50Fuck.
00:44:53Hey.
00:44:55I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:44:56Fuck. Fuck.
00:44:58Move.
00:45:00Where the fuck did you come from?
00:45:02Uh, I think he has got like...
00:45:05I think he has like water in his lungs or something.
00:45:09He's down there and he came at me and...
00:45:13Let me go.
00:45:14Hey, hey.
00:45:15What are you doing?
00:45:17What the...
00:45:18Sit down.
00:45:20Are you alright, man?
00:45:22Hey, are you alright?
00:45:25Call me your best.
00:45:30That's my fucking hair!
00:45:31What the...
00:45:32Is that my fucking jeans?
00:45:34Stop! No! Fuck!
00:45:37What the fuck is happening, man?
00:45:41What the fuck is happening?
00:45:42What the fuck is happening?
00:45:44Listen, okay. Listen.
00:45:46I don't know what you people want.
00:45:48Or what the fuck you're doing.
00:45:49But I just wanna go home.
00:45:51Okay?
00:45:51Shut up!
00:45:52I just wanna go home!
00:45:53This is food.
00:45:54And this is a fudge.
00:45:56Something for you to put your intentions into.
00:45:59We've prepared for you.
00:46:00Why?
00:46:01What? Why?
00:46:02What do you want?
00:46:03For you to finally see your laughter.
00:46:06Are you not?
00:46:10We've been waiting for you a very long time.
00:46:15We've done everything we could.
00:46:16Now the rest is on you.
00:46:19Your answers lie that way.
00:46:21Follow the rune stones.
00:46:24I'm not gonna go anywhere with you people.
00:46:27We know.
00:46:27Good luck, Lufter.
00:46:39No, wait!
00:46:41No!
00:46:42Wait!
00:46:42Come on!
00:46:43Come on!
00:46:45What is happening?
00:46:47What is happening?
00:46:49What is happening?
00:46:52What is happening?
00:47:07Dear one, is there anything you need?
00:47:20Dear one, tell me your dream.
00:47:34Somewhere there waits a golden day.
00:47:41Somewhere there waits a nymph at play.
00:47:48Dear one, tell me your dream.
00:48:04Hey!
00:48:05Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:48:07Yeah.
00:48:08Okay, yeah.
00:48:16Oh, sorry.
00:48:18Do you speak English?
00:48:21Okay.
00:48:22Okay.
00:48:23Uh, I want to go to Reykjavik.
00:48:24Are you going to Reykjavik?
00:48:26Uh, Reykjavik, yes.
00:48:27Yeah, south?
00:48:28Yes.
00:48:29To the airport?
00:48:30Yeah, south, yeah.
00:48:31Okay.
00:48:31Great.
00:48:32Thank you.
00:48:32All right.
00:48:51Thank you, my lord.
00:48:59I want to go.
00:49:00I need to go north.
00:49:05Sì, dimenticare, ho bisogno di andare al nord, grazie.
00:49:22Anni... Anni...
00:49:38Well, they both go north.
00:49:45They couldn't give me a magical map?
00:49:53Okay.
00:49:55Okay.
00:49:57Okay.
00:49:58Fish, I go right, ancient, sea god, I go left.
00:50:09I go right.
00:50:13I go right.
00:50:29I go right.
00:50:32I go right.
00:51:05Ok, c'è 4 sides
00:51:09It's 4 directions, one of these sides is the direction I need to go
00:51:45Shit
00:51:47Shit
00:51:52Oh
00:52:20Ok, don't control it
00:52:35So if this means water, if this means that I walk that way
00:52:52Yes, yes, fuck you
00:53:12You're the torturing kind
00:53:18Dancing to my mind
00:53:21I can't escape you
00:53:25Now I find I'm in a truck
00:53:29I'm getting good
00:53:31Falling through this world
00:53:34I can't escape you
00:53:38What can I do
00:53:41What can I do
00:53:43I can't escape you
00:53:45What can I do
00:53:49I can't escape you
00:53:49What can I do
00:54:01Sì, sì.
00:54:25Do you know what I mean?
00:54:28No.
00:54:29I never know what you mean.
00:54:31I know.
00:54:31Honestly.
00:54:32Fuck off.
00:54:34That was really good.
00:54:35The margarita is really good.
00:54:37Okay.
00:54:37Thank you.
00:54:38Okay.
00:54:38Sorry.
00:54:42You know when a cup goes...
00:54:49Can I get you anything else to drink?
00:54:51I think just a check.
00:54:52Okay, great.
00:54:53Can we get the check for sure?
00:54:55I do hear that.
00:54:56But one more shot of tequila and one more margarita, whatever you've been making.
00:55:02Yeah, of course.
00:55:02You got it.
00:55:03Woo!
00:55:05Thank you.
00:55:06Of course.
00:55:06Enjoy.
00:55:07Oh, my goodness.
00:55:09Compliments to the chef.
00:55:10Okay.
00:55:10No, no, no.
00:55:11It's going to be like your sixth drink, but...
00:55:13I'm...
00:55:14What is your fucking problem?
00:55:16What is your fucking problem?
00:55:19I'm having a really nice time, or I was having a fucking nice time trying to.
00:55:27I'm so sorry.
00:55:28Don't bring your kids to a fucking...
00:55:30It's 12 o'clock at night.
00:55:31Put your fucking kid in bed.
00:55:33So sorry for being so loud.
00:55:35This must have been such a nightmare for you guys.
00:55:37Thank you for my delicious drinks.
00:55:39Pete.
00:55:39I don't fucking know his name.
00:55:41And, um, fuck this.
00:56:05I don't know his name.
00:56:18Okie dokie.
00:56:25Well, we have entered the Mordor part of the island now.
00:56:31Did I ever tell you I was raised very Christian?
00:56:34Yeah, I told you that.
00:56:36You heard that.
00:56:38Which means I never learned how to draw a woman's body.
00:56:43And I was shameful.
00:56:45I was always embarrassed.
00:56:46So I said, hey, I'm a professional artist.
00:56:51And a grown-up.
00:56:52I should learn this.
00:56:53I should know this.
00:56:54So I took this life drawing class.
00:56:57Where, you know, people draw a nude model.
00:57:00So I go in and I'm excited to finally be doing this and see a nude model.
00:57:08And then out comes this man.
00:57:12Like a middle-aged man.
00:57:14Like he could have been, like a manager of a TJ Maxx.
00:57:20And he got naked and he sat down.
00:57:23Oh, and he just opened his legs.
00:57:25All I could see was his balls.
00:57:27There was so many balls.
00:57:28So much balls.
00:57:29There's a little girl next to me.
00:57:30She's just smiling, drawing it.
00:57:32So, oh, I don't want to do this.
00:57:34So I drew his balls.
00:57:38It was so bad.
00:57:40They go, hey, we're taking a break.
00:57:42We'll change positions.
00:57:43So I got up.
00:57:44I moved to the other side of the room.
00:57:45She followed me.
00:57:47And then the guy came back.
00:57:48And he rotated and aimed his balls at me again.
00:57:53I can't draw his balls.
00:57:54And I look over and she's just laughing.
00:57:57Gives me a wink.
00:57:58And I said, fuck it.
00:57:59I'm in.
00:58:00And I fully embraced his balls.
00:58:03Just drawing them.
00:58:04Going to town.
00:58:05Oh, my God.
00:58:06It was so freeing.
00:58:07Just drew balls for the next hour and a half.
00:58:09Just staring right into the sun and drawing it.
00:58:11Ah.
00:58:12Best $40 I ever spent.
00:58:16That was how I met Jess.
00:58:22She would always do that.
00:58:23She would make me so uncomfortable.
00:58:25Oh, my God.
00:58:26And I loved it.
00:58:27I hated it, but I loved it.
00:58:30I loved it.
00:58:36Yeah, we were supposed to take more classes after that.
00:58:39But we didn't.
00:58:44I guess she didn't want to.
00:58:48Or at least she chose not to.
00:58:59And that was how she was going to.
00:59:24Grazie a tutti.
00:59:39Grazie a tutti.
01:00:01Grazie a tutti.
01:00:32Grazie a tutti.
01:00:35Grazie a tutti.
01:00:38Grazie a tutti.
01:00:55Grazie a tutti.
01:00:57I mean, yeah, you people, you can take whatever you want, but don't pretend that you knew her.
01:01:40One.
01:01:45One.
01:01:49One.
01:01:50One.
01:01:51One.
01:01:52One Republic.
01:01:54Then you got U2.
01:01:56Uh, three doors down.
01:01:59Four.
01:01:59Four tops.
01:02:01Five.
01:02:03E6.
01:02:04Five.
01:02:05Five.
01:02:06Sevenfold.
01:02:06Eight.
01:02:07Eight.
01:02:08Oh, shit.
01:02:10Oh, shit.
01:02:13Oh, shit.
01:02:15Oh.
01:02:18Oh.
01:02:19Oh.
01:02:25Oh.
01:02:27Oh.
01:02:29Oh.
01:02:29Come on.
01:02:30One.
01:02:32One.
01:02:33One.
01:02:33One.
01:02:37One.
01:02:39One.
01:02:43One.
01:02:52Two.
01:02:53Oh, shit!
01:02:57Ok.
01:03:29Oh, I'm done.
01:03:32Oh, I'm done.
01:03:37Yeah, you hear me?
01:03:42I'm not gonna do your treasure map anymore.
01:03:46So, you know?
01:03:49I'm not gonna...
01:03:52Fucking...
01:03:54I'm not chasing any more rhinestones!
01:03:58I'm not gonna do your goddamn spell anymore!
01:04:01My name is not Lofter!
01:04:03My name is Benny Miller!
01:04:05My name is Benny Miller!
01:04:06My name is Benny Miller!
01:04:09My name is Benny Miller!
01:04:12My name is Benny...
01:04:14My name is...
01:04:17My name is Benny!
01:04:19My name is Benny, my name is Benny.
01:04:22My name is Benny!
01:04:24My name is Benny!
01:04:46No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what side, what side were you on?
01:04:57What side, I don't know which direction, yeah, do it, come on, that's it.
01:05:41What side, I don't know which direction, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:05:46no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:06:02You win.
01:06:23You win.
01:06:54You win.
01:07:24You win.
01:07:53You win.
01:08:32You win.
01:08:43You win.
01:08:50You win.
01:09:14You win.
01:09:38You win.
01:09:41You win.
01:09:42You win.
01:09:44You win.
01:09:44You win.
01:09:54You win.
01:09:56We only have chamomile.
01:09:57Sorry.
01:09:58That's fine.
01:09:59You like chamomile now?
01:10:01Nope.
01:10:04There's hot water in the soap.
01:10:06Thanks.
01:10:08There's sugar in the back by the tea box.
01:10:18So what the fuck is happening.
01:10:19So what the fuck is happening right now?
01:10:22So what the fuck is happening right now?
01:10:24You tell me.
01:10:27are you?
01:10:30Is this real?
01:10:35Are you?
01:10:40Is this real?
01:10:46No.
01:10:50Do you know the only thing people eat in this country
01:10:52is lamb and pickled fish?
01:10:54I mean, a vegan would just starve.
01:10:56Are you okay?
01:11:00Um, better than I was.
01:11:03Did it hurt?
01:11:06It didn't feel good.
01:11:10It was cold, I guess.
01:11:14It was...
01:11:15Can we not talk about it?
01:11:17Sorry.
01:11:22I don't know what to say.
01:11:25Maybe start with hi?
01:11:30That's good. Okay.
01:11:33Hi.
01:11:35Hi.
01:11:38I've missed you.
01:11:40I miss you too, buddy.
01:11:43Can I...
01:11:43Can I kiss you?
01:11:46Why wouldn't you?
01:11:47I don't know what the fuck is happening right now.
01:12:02No.
01:12:03You smell really good.
01:12:04Thank you.
01:12:06You're really here, huh?
01:12:08I am.
01:12:12So what do we do now?
01:12:14What the fuck?
01:12:15No.
01:12:16What? Why?
01:12:17No, I mean, of course I do.
01:12:19Yes.
01:12:19Okay, okay.
01:12:20It's just, can we do it in a little while?
01:12:21Because this is a lot to wrap my head around.
01:12:24Yeah.
01:12:24Totally. Also, you've never been dirtier.
01:12:26Oh, right? No, I'm disgusting.
01:12:28So filthy.
01:12:28And plus all the showers here smell like farts.
01:12:30Oh wait, this is an island surrounded by fart water, the whole thing.
01:12:34What is wrong with these people?
01:12:35I don't know.
01:12:36Hey, can we, um, maybe sit?
01:12:39I've just been riding around all day licking rocks.
01:12:43Oh, you're still licking.
01:12:44Yeah.
01:12:47So what's new?
01:12:49Oh.
01:12:51Well, I can do magic now.
01:12:53Wait, I saw that. What is going on with that?
01:12:55You are looking at an ancient Icelandic wizard named Lofter.
01:13:01I am?
01:13:02Or possibly his protege. It is not quite clear.
01:13:05That is so fancy.
01:13:07Oh, it's very fancy, yes.
01:13:09Okay. I mean, that doesn't make sense for you though. It goes with all your control stuff.
01:13:12Oh God, Jess.
01:13:14It does, because you are a person who loves to control stuff.
01:13:17And now you can control sort of, you know, mysterious powers.
01:13:22Okay.
01:13:26Are you ready to fuck yet?
01:13:29I'd say I'm 45 to 50% there.
01:13:34Jesus, what's a girl gotta do?
01:13:36All right, well, I have a good idea in the meantime.
01:13:39Yeah?
01:13:41Ben Folds 5 plus One Direction equals what?
01:13:45Six pence none the richer.
01:13:46Ugh, it's not even fun. You're too good at it.
01:13:48Yeah, I've had literally nothing else to do but think of these.
01:13:51Okay, you want one?
01:13:52Yeah, give me one.
01:13:53Okay, two live crew times Power Man 5,000.
01:13:5810,000 maniacs! I got good at this!
01:14:01Oh, there she is!
01:14:02Yes!
01:14:02You remember when we were in Ojai and we got in that huge fight about whether 7 Mary 3 was
01:14:1010 or 73?
01:14:11Yes, I remember. That's when you broke that window.
01:14:17What window?
01:14:19The window. When you got drunk and did your thing and broke the giant window in the front?
01:14:25Hmm.
01:14:28What do you mean did my thing? So what does that even mean?
01:14:34You did your thing. The Jess thing where you'd drink or take pills and then go out of your mind
01:14:42and turn into this tornado.
01:14:45Until you passed out. You know, the thing.
01:14:57That's how you remember me?
01:15:02That is, that's part of it. Yeah.
01:15:06Hmm.
01:15:11Well, that doesn't seem very fair.
01:15:19How is that not fair?
01:15:25Hmm?
01:15:28You would do those things.
01:15:30All the time.
01:15:33I know.
01:15:36Then what?
01:15:37Fine. Then, Jess, the fuck up.
01:15:40There's a million ways I've always ruined everything.
01:15:42No. That is not what I was saying.
01:15:46I'm sorry, Benny.
01:15:49I had no control, okay? I'm an addict.
01:15:52Oh.
01:15:54You can't use that.
01:15:56You can't use that anymore.
01:15:58Use what?
01:15:59The addict card.
01:16:01God, you would always use that to get out of everything.
01:16:06Hey, Jess, you wrecked the car.
01:16:08Don't yell at me. I'm an addict.
01:16:10I never said that.
01:16:11Hey, Jess, my boss caught you stealing his oxy at the dinner party.
01:16:15Hey, it's not my fault. I'm an addict.
01:16:16Why are you saying this?
01:16:17Because you stomped on my life.
01:16:20On our life.
01:16:22Doing whatever the fuck you wanted with this ironclad excuse.
01:16:25And I couldn't say shit to that.
01:16:28Oh, it's a sickness. I'm helpless.
01:16:31Hey, I was fucking helpless.
01:16:33Okay, do you think I'm proud of that?
01:16:35Do you think that I loved lying to you?
01:16:39That I enjoyed sneaking around and disappointing every person in the whole fucking world?
01:16:43My parents?
01:16:47Benny, saying I'm an addict is an admission that I am a fuck-up.
01:16:51It is not an excuse.
01:16:52It is not an excuse.
01:16:54Because you chose.
01:16:56You chose to leave me.
01:17:01What do you think happened that night?
01:17:03What do I think happened?
01:17:05You drowned.
01:17:07Great.
01:17:09But how did I drown?
01:17:11Why are you asking me?
01:17:14You're the one who got fucked up and walked into a pool.
01:17:19But why?
01:17:20I don't know.
01:17:21I don't fucking know!
01:17:25I don't know!
01:17:27Why wouldn't you do that?
01:17:30Why wouldn't you just leave without giving me a note?
01:17:37Fuck you, Jess.
01:17:41Fuck you for that.
01:17:56I didn't mean to leave you, Benny.
01:18:00No?
01:18:03How come you killed yourself?
01:18:06I didn't.
01:18:17I didn't want to die.
01:18:20I had my whole life.
01:18:24I had you.
01:18:29What are you saying to me?
01:18:32That...
01:18:33That it was an accident?
01:18:36Yeah.
01:18:38No, I was.
01:18:40And then...
01:18:42And then...
01:18:43I left you.
01:18:45And I know.
01:18:46And I'm so sorry.
01:18:48No.
01:18:48And I'm so sorry.
01:18:49No, I'm sorry.
01:18:50No, I'm so stupid.
01:18:51I'm so stupid.
01:18:53Shut up with that.
01:18:54Shut up!
01:18:54I'm such a fucking idiot.
01:18:55No, don't say that.
01:18:57It doesn't matter, okay?
01:18:59None of that matters, right?
01:19:02Because we can go home now.
01:19:05Benny, go home?
01:19:12And go home?
01:19:13You're back.
01:19:15I want you.
01:19:16What do you think this is?
01:19:18I did the spell.
01:19:19I did Lofter's spell and you're back now.
01:19:21Fuck!
01:19:22Oh, fuck!
01:19:25You thought that was gonna be enough?
01:19:28And the two struggled against each other for hours,
01:19:31until the very church around them crumbled to the ground.
01:19:34Lofter knew he was not powerful enough to take control.
01:19:39Lofter fled to the ocean.
01:19:40Penny?
01:19:43Penny.
01:19:44Penny.
01:19:45Oh my god, I'm gonna lose you again.
01:19:47Penny, you're here.
01:19:50You don't have to go, okay?
01:19:51You can stay if you want.
01:19:53You don't have to go.
01:19:54You can stay.
01:19:55Did it work?
01:19:56Did you see her?
01:20:01The spell is infinite.
01:20:04You cannot control something.
01:20:06You only destroy it.
01:20:08Did you finish it?
01:20:11Whoops to fucking have to go out.
01:20:13I do hence.
01:20:14You do.
01:20:25I am good.
01:20:30I have to be caught.
01:20:32I am a good one.
01:20:39I do.
01:20:40I do no.
01:20:42Sì.
01:21:11Sì.
01:21:55Sì.
01:21:56You're so close.
01:21:59Go to the water.
01:22:02Finish the spell.
01:22:12Grazie a tutti
01:22:40Grazie a tutti
01:23:20Grazie a tutti
01:23:53Grazie a tutti
01:24:13Grazie a tutti
01:24:51Grazie a tutti
01:25:12Grazie a tutti
01:25:32Grazie a tutti
01:26:02Grazie a tutti
01:26:21Grazie a tutti
01:26:39Grazie a tutti
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