- 18 hours ago
The Office US S09E01 New Guys Cut 1 H 264
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00:00www.sco.nz
00:09Andy's coming back today
00:14Andy's coming back today
00:18Andy's coming back today
00:19David Wallace sent him on an outward bound wilderness adventure for a whole month
00:23to make him more decisive and confident
00:25he sent his own son too
00:27and the counselor said they both grew up
00:29big time
00:34how was my summer?
00:35it was pretty mixed
00:36I invented a new power drink made out of beet runoff
00:39mmm
00:41mmm
00:42so that's really good
00:44but I got some disappointing medical news
00:49Mr. Schrute, the results are in
00:50you're not the father
00:51I told you
00:56oh
00:56oh
00:56oh my god
00:58oh what a summer
01:01an emotional roller coaster
01:03I ran over a turtle
01:05in the parking lot
01:07but then I saved him
01:09by gluing his shell
01:11back together
01:12but I'm not that good at puzzles
01:15that piece doesn't go there
01:16shhh
01:18so I patched him with stuff from around the office
01:21but
01:23I couldn't get the pieces to fit right
01:25then
01:27one day
01:27while I was reaching for the glue
01:29I crushed his shell again
01:33but I rebuilt him even better that time
01:37but it turned out
01:38the turtle was already dead
01:43probably when I ran over him the first time
01:47for us
01:48um
01:50nothing new really
01:52the kids are great
01:52you were really good at modesty
01:54she's a genius
01:54she painted this incredible mural in the kids room
01:57there's a hippo leading a parade of 500 children
01:59well you had that interesting thing
02:01oh
02:02yes
02:03Jim's friend is starting a new company
02:05based on this idea that Jim had when they were back in college
02:08it's sports marketing basically but the athletes are partners
02:11and he wanted Jim to be a partner too
02:13in Philly
02:14so
02:15that doesn't really work for the family
02:17but watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea
02:20he said if it takes off he's gonna buy us a new car
02:23an Ultima or better
02:26Kelly Kapoor is gone
02:27her fiancee Ravi
02:29was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami University
02:32I don't need him anymore
02:34I am going to Miami piatches
02:36to hang with Lebron James
02:38and Gloria Stefan
02:40Miami University in Ohio
02:43on her last day Kelly was still a little confused about it
02:47enjoy the snow losers
02:48I'm so happy for you Kelly
02:51shortly after Kelly left Ryan quit
02:54and also moved to Ohio
02:56for what he claimed were unrelated reasons
02:59I've actually done a lot of market research
03:01and it turns out that southwestern Ohio
03:03is going to be the next Silicon Valley
03:04they call it the Silicon Prairie
03:07it's a big university town
03:09and uh
03:12it's not garbage
03:13it's my clothes
03:14and that was our summer
03:19you good?
03:20yeah, thanks
03:22don't you guys have everything?
03:24I mean, it's just a paper company
03:27well, we're more following you guys
03:29to see how you turn out
03:30oh, yeah
03:31I guess we were kind of dramatic
03:33in the beginning
03:34well
03:36I don't think anything is going to change
03:37in our lives now
03:38with work and two kids
03:40I just
03:41nothing interesting is going to happen to us
03:42for a long, long time
04:00andy's coming back today
04:12andy's coming back today
04:15hey
04:15hey, uh
04:16does anybody know where we throw these out?
04:18oh my god
04:19it's called a garbage can
04:21helpless
04:22there's two new guys back there with me now
04:25they're in their twenties
04:26we really get along
04:28looking good
04:29just three single guys
04:32getting into trouble
04:34they're like the new Jim and Dwight
04:37oh, yes
04:38yes, I see that
04:40perfect
04:42hey
04:42new Jim
04:43come sit on my face
04:44no, thank you
04:46my name's
04:46Pete
04:48no
04:49Pete is not the new Jim
04:51the only thing we have in common
04:52is that neither of us
04:53wants to sit on Meredith's face
04:55and if that makes him the new Jim
04:57then every human being in the world
04:58is the new Jim
05:00andy's here
05:01old Dwight
05:01new Dwight
05:02andy's here
05:02new Jim Tuna
05:03andy's here
05:04Pam, he's here
05:06hey
05:07ah
05:09wow
05:09I thought about this place a lot
05:12when I was on solo
05:13three days on a mountain
05:14it'll change it
05:16the things we think we need
05:18clocks
05:19yeah, right
05:20it sounds amazing
05:21tell us all about it
05:23what are you still doing here?
05:25wonderful, thanks
05:27you know, I had this really funny dream
05:29during Outward Bound that you died
05:33brilliant
05:35see me in my office later
05:37the new guys
05:39all right
05:40it's Clark
05:40and um
05:41Pete
05:43and Outward Bound
05:44it was all about nicknames
05:45they called me Iceman
05:47you will be called Plop
05:49what, why?
05:50because you're always taking dumps
05:51no I'm not
05:52come on, everybody defecates
05:54relax Plop
05:54you will be called Fart
05:56because you fart all the time
05:57I love it
05:58actually Andy
05:59we call this one Dwight Jr.
06:01no, I prefer Fart
06:02no, Dwight Jr.
06:04infinitely better
06:05you guys look exactly like Dwight
06:07go stand next to him
06:08no, we...
06:09this is insane
06:10I don't see it
06:11I don't either
06:12I don't either
06:13whoa
06:15mind blown
06:16it's like father and son
06:23Dwight, you cool if we call him Dwight Jr.
06:26yes
06:28yes
06:28yes I am
06:35Dwight Jr.
06:38in a way it's like I have a son
06:40and who knows
06:41maybe someday they'll hire someone
06:42who looks like a younger version of him
06:45and then I'll have a grandson
06:47well, I need to give my cat up for adoption
06:50the one who uses the doorbell
06:52or the one with the Mexican hat
06:53or the one with the rain galoshes
06:55or the one that you let go around naked
06:57Angela's cats are cute
06:59so cute
07:00that you just want to eat them
07:03but you can't eat cats
07:06you can't eat cats, Kevin
07:09no, the one with the long hair and the denim pants
07:12Comstock
07:14okay, look, he's such a special kitty
07:16you just want to find him a good home
07:23he loves those pants
07:27I'll take him
07:28please, after the turtle
07:30I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle
07:34Oscar, Oscar, will you take him?
07:37no, I'm a dog person
07:39if you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person
07:43those guys will always turn back, Angela
07:46okay, give me something to talk about with young people
07:48I read an article on Time Magazine about Dubstep
07:52yo, man, what's up?
07:54you catch that Dubstep article in Time last week?
07:57off the charts
07:58Time Magazine?
08:00did you pick that up at the newsstand on your Ford Taurus?
08:05yeah, I'll read that as soon as I finish the Farmer's Almanac
08:08you read the Almanac?
08:10crazy gibbous moon next month, yo, right?
08:13right, yo
08:15okay, see you later
08:20I have no idea what just happened there
08:24David, Outward Bound was incredible
08:26I was the best at slacklining
08:28I ate a worm
08:29glad to hear it
08:30went to the bathroom anywhere I wanted
08:32literally anywhere
08:33blew a rabbit right out of his hole
08:34you sound really confident and decisive
08:36he is never going back in that hole
08:39I'm sorry
08:40at Outward Bound you get used to talking openly about body functions
08:43because everyone
08:44literally every single person
08:47has diarrhea
08:49hey, you wanted to see me?
08:50yeah, I gotta go, David
08:53why is Nellie still here?
08:54didn't you get my postcard?
08:55oh, uh
08:56on the front is a pretty waterfall
08:59and on the back it says fire Nellie
09:06I don't think that's buried, Jace
09:09I did get your postcard
09:10um, didn't you get my care package?
09:13they wouldn't let me have it because there were cookies in it
09:15oh, well, in addition to the cookies
09:18I sent an explanation of our labor laws here
09:22and you can only fire Nellie for cause
09:25hmm
09:26then I will make up a cause
09:28eh, except you just told me you were gonna make it up
09:30now if she sues I'd have to testify against you
09:33then forget I just told you that
09:34can't
09:35I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy
09:38I sat next to this woman named Beverly Brooke
09:40she had a Greek salad for lunch
09:42you see what I mean?
09:44now I know why Michael hated you so much
09:47I am
09:54good boy
09:55getting big and strong
09:57snack foods
09:58yep
10:01body by Cheez-It
10:02ah
10:03humor
10:04I have it too
10:06oh, boy
10:07I got a couple of tickets to the Slayer concert
10:10ten months from now
10:11you interested?
10:13I think I'm busy that night
10:15or I would
10:16hmm
10:17okay, well
10:18we're both just
10:19kind of learning as we go, aren't we?
10:21learning what?
10:22just
10:23how this is gonna be
10:25you know
10:28you have a beautiful round head
10:31okay
10:31so what kind of farming you into, huh?
10:34more of a fruit man or a root man?
10:39hey, is this code for, like, gay stuff?
10:43cause, cause if so, that's totally fine
10:44like, I'm fine with it
10:45but, you know, you should know that I'm into the ladies
10:48spoken like a true root man
10:51hey, you know, if you're ever swamped
10:53I can make some sales calls for you
10:56my calls?
10:57so could you give me a list of all your clients
10:59or just the leads that you haven't had time to pursue yet?
11:01you want a list of my clients?
11:03you want my leads?
11:04yeah, just, I'll just give it the clients
11:05okay
11:05I'll give it a read
11:06yeah, with my leads and stuff like that
11:09cause you're interested in going into sales
11:10I am
11:11wow, that's great
11:12yeah
11:12that's great, okay, good
11:14let's, let's talk about that
11:15okay?
11:16okay
11:18you're not getting my clients
11:19nice try
11:22paranoid?
11:23I'm not familiar with the word
11:25and I really don't have time to learn new words right now, okay?
11:27a pudgy 22 year old is trying to take my job
11:32oh, a ladle
11:34Roy loves ladles
11:36I think we owe him more than that
11:37okay
11:39throw in a slotted spoon
11:42Roy Anderson, my former fiancee, is getting married
11:47unless his bride pulls what I'm sure they call a Pam
11:50or a
11:52that bitch Pam
11:54Jim
11:56get ready for the battle in your life
11:57done
11:58explain
11:59the new guys
12:00Dwight Jr. is after my job
12:02yeah
12:02there is a shark
12:04hiding inside that adorable little cherub
12:06oh, now I get what Pete was talking about
12:07the sales meeting yesterday
12:09wait
12:10sales
12:11what sales meeting?
12:12the new guys called one
12:13the new guys called a sales meeting?
12:14Clark ended the whole thing with a karate demonstration
12:16did you know there was a belt above black?
12:18there's no belt above black
12:21is there a belt above black?
12:22you should ask it
12:23it's a color you would never expect
12:28too easy
12:31attention everyone
12:32Comstock is still available
12:34Oscar has been flirting with adopting him
12:36but still hasn't given me a definite yes or no
12:39definitely no
12:40fine
12:41for any interested candidates
12:42I will be conducting 20 minute interviews
12:45my ideal situation would be
12:47an independently wealthy
12:49cute couple
12:50with a strong commitment to education
12:52black or white
12:53I'm fine with either
12:54but not both
12:55listen, you're in this
12:57but you need to wow me, okay?
13:01pssst
13:02Clark just told me that he never studied karate
13:04why would he lie to me?
13:06I don't know
13:06I thought you guys really had a good father-son thing going
13:08kinda like Luke and Darth Vader
13:10no
13:11idiot
13:12Luke and Darth Vader are enemies
13:14what?
13:15yeah
13:15Darth Vader tried to attach a hand on Luke's arm
13:17no
13:18he cut it off
13:19what Star Wars are you watching?
13:20Luke is trying to destroy Darth Vader
13:26oh my god
13:30yo
13:31muppet baby
13:32got an urgent text from your social network?
13:35my brother mike
13:36I'll bet you majored in self-esteem, huh?
13:39newsflash
13:40you are not special
13:41oh god
13:42my generation was taught self-esteem
13:44for like five minutes in kindergarten
13:46and we're still paying for it
13:49when I was on my solo up above the tree line
13:51I had this moment of clarity, you know?
13:55yes, yes, yes those can be wonderful
13:57and I was thinking about last spring
13:59and what you did to me
14:01mmm
14:01mmm
14:03mmm
14:04mmm
14:04and the nickname I came up with for you
14:07is the great emasculator
14:12or better yet
14:14lady second chance
14:16I wanted to talk to you about our working relationship this year
14:20it's going to be terrible
14:22not necessarily
14:24no, I'm going to make sure that it is
14:27and if it isn't
14:28I will take immediate action to rectify that
14:32now
14:33I don't like to throw around the b-word
14:36but I'm going to be a huge bitch to you
14:41alright guys
14:42time to conquer your fear of low heights
14:44now this is called slacklining
14:47I set up the old slackline
14:48to teach the office the skills of focus
14:50and discipline
14:52or in the case of certain individuals
14:54the skills of humiliation
14:55and looking really dumb
14:57if you make it all the way across
14:59your confidence will soar
15:00but
15:01if your toe be out
15:04then you'll feel like a real Nelly
15:05how about a hand?
15:07screw those guys
15:08now
15:09these are my actual outward bound counselors
15:11Rafe and Feather
15:12Iceman
15:13that's me
15:14we called him Iceman
15:15because he always complained
15:16about his canteen water being warm
15:18the powder is for your protection
15:21Feather has permanent athlete's foot
15:22Feather
15:23show them how you dance
15:24upon the line of slack
15:29you a sports guy?
15:32sure
15:33boxing
15:34tennis
15:35any team sports?
15:37NASCAR
15:38the amazing race
15:41Phillies fan though right?
15:43you mean horses?
15:44no
15:45like baseball
15:46a baseball team
15:47I like the Red Sox
15:48I'm from Vermont
15:49so
15:50okay
15:50good talk
15:53I have nothing in common with Plop
15:55alright
15:56who's next?
15:57Nelly
15:58oh
15:59I would rather watch you and your talented friends
16:02nonsense
16:03get up here
16:04go ahead
16:05come on
16:09uh
16:10you gonna wear your heels?
16:11I'm very self conscious about my feet
16:14okay
16:14sure
16:16there you go
16:17that a girl
16:18hey
16:19alright
16:20whoa
16:20you suck
16:23that was not
16:24she
16:25I was trying to support her
16:27yes
16:27it may have looked harsh
16:29but
16:29in the wild
16:30you see that kind of thing all the time
16:32moms pushing their baby birds out the nests
16:34I mean come on
16:35that was a dick move
16:37I just couldn't help it
16:40alright
16:40who's next
16:41Daryl
16:42seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do
16:44Dwight Junior
16:45this looks like your speed
16:46or Plop
16:47huh
16:48you wanna squeeze one in before you run off to the bathroom
16:50that's a good one sir
16:51uh
16:52I guess I can give it a shot
16:54yeah
16:54come on
16:54get up here
16:56just hop on up
16:57okay
16:58focus on the horizon
17:03whoa
17:04look at this guy
17:08I've always been good at anything that required balance
17:10my doctor says I have gigantic inner ears
17:14go Dwight Junior
17:17yes
17:19unimpressed
17:19it's a tightrope for babies boo
17:21alright let's see you do it
17:23alright
17:23let me show you how a real man walks across a flaccid cord
17:37oh
17:39who ordered the hot apple fail
17:41okay I am just getting started okay
17:45you got this
17:46this is all you
17:49oh
17:51oh
17:51oh
17:53oh
17:53oh
17:53got ourselves a yard sale
17:58oh
17:58oh
17:59oh
17:59oh
18:00oh
18:00oh
18:00oh
18:00oh
18:00oh
18:00uh
18:03oh
18:07well it's official
18:08old Dwight is lame
18:10and new Dwight is cool
18:12that's not true
18:13oh
18:14oh
18:14give me another chance
18:16but your mouth is
18:17this is a blood bath
18:17ah-alright I'm calling this
18:19what
18:20this is enough-it's enough of this
18:21everyone let's go back to work
18:22it's not okay
18:23this is not okay
18:24this is a stupid activity
18:24I would be embarrassed to be good at it
18:29¿Qué?
18:33¡Idiots!
18:35You know, that was not appropriate behavior, Andy Vine.
18:39Conference room meeting now. Let's talk about this.
18:47All right, who has felt bullied by Andy today?
18:52I'll start us off.
18:53I felt a little bullied today when Andy said he knew why Michael hated me.
19:00Okay, and I'm feeling a little bullied right now by this Snickers.
19:04Snickers? Who has Snickers?
19:07The secret to a Snickers?
19:09You eat around the peanuts.
19:12Then it's not so bad.
19:15Sorry, could I just say, if this is about me, this is really not necessary because I am fine.
19:20So, great meeting everybody. Back to work.
19:24Not that I am the manager anymore. That is your job, and you are very good at it.
19:29So, over to you, Andy, if that's what you want.
19:35Okay, I think Nellie feels bullied by you, Andy.
19:38Uh, no, that's... it's not, uh, not my words.
19:41Can I just say I'm feeling a little bullied by oversensitive people who feel bullied by everything?
19:46Um, I am just asking you to check the transcript because I never said bullied.
19:51Am I supposed to keep transcripts?
19:53Mm-mm.
19:54Angela bullies me. Example? She won't give me her cat.
19:58Just because I killed my turtle a few times.
20:01What?
20:02People kill Angela. There's no reason to judge them.
20:04I feel bullied by Creed, always looking at my sweet rack.
20:06Please, I am not looking at your rack. You have some crumbs or some delicious carrot cake on your chest.
20:12My freckles?
20:13He looks at me like that, too.
20:15Okay. Bully me all you like. I can handle it. I have very thick skin.
20:19Thick wrinkled skin.
20:21Sometimes I look at you and you're just doing this with your mouth. I don't know what that is.
20:25Your cheeks look like an old western saddle.
20:27No problem. I can handle it. You can all pile on after my smoke break.
20:34You know, when I was on Outer Bound, I was bullied by self-doubt.
20:40Nobody cares about your dumb wilderness stories.
20:43Oh, oh.
20:47Oh.
20:48And how can I be a bully? I'm a sweetie pie. You're a bitch.
20:53Oh, God.
21:01I'm not even the old Jim anymore. I'm the new Stanley.
21:04Well, if you become the new Creed, I'll divorce you.
21:18Slacklining. Big deal.
21:20Untie that rope. Give it to a couple of pigtailed schoolgirls.
21:24Let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys.
21:27Doesn't seem so macho now, does it?
21:30It's a jump rope.
21:44Dwight!
21:48Pam?
21:48Hey, I'm up here, up the ladder.
21:50Come on.
22:02What are you doing?
22:04Come here. I'll show you.
22:09Why do you want this cat?
22:11I don't want it, really.
22:13How would you support the cat? What are your ambitions?
22:16I want to start my own business.
22:18I want to be a millionaire.
22:19Lots of things. Travel, make the world a better place, earn an MBA at night.
22:24Have you taken any concrete steps?
22:27Well, I'm still just fitting in here, you know, getting used to the new job.
22:32Mm-hmm.
22:32But definitely on the agenda.
22:35But that is a good idea, Angela. I should make a list.
22:39Oh, come on, Pete.
22:42God, that's just sad.
22:44If he doesn't watch himself, he's going to be here for years, doing nothing.
22:54Wow, maybe Pete is the new gym.
23:01Do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire?
23:04That means it is literally impossible for anyone to fall off.
23:08So you will merely sit below and be my counterweight as I pedal across the parking lot to that telephone
23:14pole.
23:14I will.
23:15You will.
23:15Yeah, we weigh about the same. Wouldn't you say?
23:17Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds.
23:20So you'll do it?
23:21No.
23:22Come on.
23:23This will be the only thrill of your boring life.
23:26Dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but I love my boring life.
23:29Come on.
23:30Exactly the way it is.
23:31No, Pam.
23:32Yes, and there's nothing you can say that would get me to run the slightest risk of losing it.
23:36Please, please, Pam.
23:38Find someone else. I don't know. Ask Phyllis.
23:40I can't use Phyllis. Are you kidding me?
23:42The moment she steps off this bar, I'll be launched into space.
23:45God, you're so insensitive.
23:52Why are you getting rid of it?
23:54Allergies.
23:55Your husband?
23:56No, the baby. Please. It's my husband's favorite cat. He's broken up about it. It's the only time I've seen
24:02him cry other than our wedding night.
24:04You know what? I will take Comstock.
24:07Really? Oh, Oscar, thank you.
24:11I'll come by after work and pick him up.
24:13Yay! Oh, poor Robert. He won't get to say goodbye. He has this business dinner tonight.
24:20Oh, c'est la vie.
24:22Please don't teach the cat French.
24:26Yeah.
24:27Good news.
24:28Tonight when you come over for dinner, you can play with your old buddy, Comstock.
24:42You ready?
24:43Yeah.
24:45You know what? I'll meet you down there. I just gotta make a quick call.
24:47Okay.
24:52Good night, Clark. Good night, Pete.
24:54Good night.
24:55Good night, Aaron.
24:57We thought Clark and Pete were the new Dwight and Jim, but it isn't true. They actually like each other.
25:02That redhead is choice. He thinks me needs a little ginger in my diet.
25:08Clark's not my friend. He's the douche I sit next to in the office.
25:12You're going after the boss's girlfriend?
25:15Yeah, you're crazy, man.
25:17Crazy about banging, because I bang like crazy.
25:20Am I the Tasmanian bang devil? It's been sad.
25:23Not a big fan of Clark.
25:30Okay.
25:33Okay.
25:34All right.
25:37Oh, God.
25:40Oh, God.
26:14¡Suscríbete al canal!
26:25This is what a real salesman looks like.
26:29They say that you only live once, and I'm about to prove it.
26:33Dwight Schrute!
26:34Mike!
26:36Hey, man, it's Halpert.
26:38Did you go to the other guy yet?
26:40Great, don't.
26:41I'm in.
26:45Yeah, yeah, I'm all in.
26:48Okay, talk to you soon.
26:49Bye.
26:55Yeah!
27:10Call somebody.
27:12Call somebody.
27:15Hold on.
27:16Hold on, Dwight.
27:18Ah!
27:47¡Ah!
27:48Once again, I understand that old habits die hard, but if everyone would kindly walk their refuse to the trash
27:55bins instead of tossing them, then we would...
27:59Oh. Swiss.
28:01It's nothing to do with me. I just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are.
28:07There are two things that I am passionate about. Recycling and revenge.
28:16Fluke.
28:27Lauriera
28:27Enlightenment
28:27Charlie
28:27hammered
28:27Есть
28:27Lia
28:27Des Moines
28:27Fish
28:27tel
28:28ding
28:28cord
28:29800円
28:34r
28:35equity
28:35l
28:4765
28:50Gracias por ver el video.
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