- 11 hours ago
The Office US S09E19 Stairmageddon Cut 1 H 264
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:39¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:29¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:48¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:50¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:52¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:54¡Suscríbete al canal!
02:24¡Suscríbete al canal!
02:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
02:57¡Suscríbete al canal!
02:59¡Suscríbete al canal!
03:22¡Suscríbete al canal!
03:25¡Suscríbete al canal!
03:34¡Suscríbete al canal!
03:38¡Suscríbete al canal!
03:53¡Suscríbete al canal!
04:05¡Suscríbete al canal!
04:10¡Suscríbete al canal!
04:11¡Suscríbete al canal!
04:22¡Suscríbete al canal!
04:31¡Suscríbete al canal!
04:37¡Suscríbete al canal!
04:40¡Suscríbete al canal!
05:14No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:40Never gonna happen.
05:42Pete, iced tea.
05:44Three sugars, five creams.
05:46Your morning three by five.
05:47Coming right up.
05:50Well, we won't be late.
05:52I love you, Mom.
05:53Thanks.
05:55Oh, your mom's watching the kiss tonight.
05:57So what are you two up to?
05:59Oh, um, embassy suites,
06:01do not disturb sign on the door.
06:03Mommy and Daddy are on the floor.
06:05I wish.
06:06What then?
06:08Oh, nothing that exciting.
06:17Marriage counseling?
06:18Mm.
06:20Do you know, that is the only kind of counseling
06:22I have never had.
06:24You know, Jim's kind of nervous about it,
06:26but I think it could really help.
06:27Mm.
06:28And we're having issues
06:29that can't hurt to talk about them, right?
06:31Mm.
06:37Hey, Toby, I wanted to ask you a question.
06:40Oh, sure.
06:41It's a little, uh, personal.
06:43Let's do it.
06:44Let's get personal.
06:45I wanted to talk to you about your divorce.
06:47Whoa.
06:48Sorry.
06:49I, no, no, no, what I meant.
06:51What I meant, actually, was...
06:52Oh, yeah, no, that's okay.
06:53I can handle it.
06:55Uh, so...
06:55You guys obviously went through some tough times
06:57leaving you up to us.
06:59Okay.
07:01I was wondering if you ever did any couples counseling?
07:04Oh, sure.
07:05Lots of times, yeah.
07:07Wait, you and Pam aren't in couples counseling, are you?
07:11Oh, God.
07:12No, no, no, no, no, uh, we're just starting couples counseling,
07:17uh, which doesn't sound any better.
07:21Mm-hmm, even you guys.
07:23Kelly called it 2013.
07:27Hey, hey, hey, no, no.
07:30Get out of here.
07:31Clark, get out of here.
07:32My mistake.
07:32Yes, it is your mistake.
07:34It's lingering.
07:35It's so annoying.
07:37I'm gonna kill him.
07:39How can I help him here?
07:40That's all right.
07:42Hello, William Morris Agency.
07:44I need to speak with your best agent
07:45who represents your biggest stars.
07:47Yes, I'll hold.
07:50I'm sorry.
07:51I misunderstood.
07:52Goodbye.
07:55When you're in a play,
07:56you get a review of your performance.
07:58When you're in a documentary,
08:00it's like getting a review of yourself.
08:03And I've been getting some pretty bad reviews lately
08:05from Aaron and Wallace.
08:07Big thumbs down from my dad.
08:10I could really use some kind words.
08:13And I think they might come
08:16from someone who's never met me.
08:22Thank you, Stan.
08:26Oh, honey.
08:28Look, I just want our life to get back to normal.
08:31Ribbon cuttings.
08:32Charity balls.
08:34VIP treatment at the county fairs.
08:36Don't worry.
08:36I've scheduled a press conference for later today.
08:38We just need to face the cameras together.
08:41A beloved public servant and his devoted wife.
08:44And move on.
08:46All right.
08:47If I have to be the good wife,
08:48I'll be the best damn wife there is.
08:50Correction.
08:51Best darn wife.
08:53Sorry.
08:54I'm a better wife than that.
08:58This documentary coming out
08:59is putting me on this trajectory to stardom
09:02that I can't say I'm altogether prepared for.
09:05I just have to...
09:08I'm in the newspaper.
09:11And who knows what's next?
09:15This is just happening really fast.
09:17Daryl, you're in luck.
09:20I want to cut your firm in
09:21on the Andy Bernard business.
09:23I want to be repped by athlete.
09:25Oh, sorry, man.
09:26We only represent athletes.
09:27That's what the athle stands for.
09:32Wow.
09:33So you just take people
09:35who are already famous and wealthy
09:36and make them more famous and wealthy.
09:38That's the idea.
09:40Isn't that like shooting fish in a barrel?
09:42You know, we have a board meeting tomorrow.
09:44I can't make any promises,
09:46but I'm pretty sure I won't bring it up.
09:48I'm just going to say this.
09:50You can do with it whatever you want.
09:51Of course.
09:51On my acting resume under special skills,
09:55fencing and tetherball.
09:57Those are sports.
09:58So just think about it.
10:00No, I'm going to write that down.
10:02Cool.
10:03Let's see.
10:08Andy, I need to talk to you.
10:09Yeah, come on in.
10:11I'm just on hold with another talent agency.
10:13It's insane.
10:14This promo with me playing banjo
10:15has 250 views already.
10:17And every time I click, there's more.
10:19251.
10:21252.
10:21I can't even keep up.
10:22Stanley is refusing to go out on a sales call.
10:26I hate people.
10:28Why do they never do what you need them to do?
10:30Stanley has to go.
10:30That's final.
10:31So what I'm hearing you say is
10:32make Stanley go out on the sales call
10:34by whatever means possible?
10:35Yes!
10:37I'm sorry.
10:38I'm being curt.
10:38It's just...
10:39I'm about to land a top talent agent.
10:41Mm-hmm.
10:42Good luck.
10:44Directory.
10:46Movie star department.
10:49Back.
10:51Directory.
10:52For five years, I've held my instincts in check
10:55because I wanted to be made manager.
10:57Maybe it's time for me to just let that thought go.
11:01It's kind of painful, but it's also freeing in a way.
11:05Now, it's all about my instincts.
11:12Hey, Dwight.
11:13Stanley.
11:15One way or another,
11:16you are going to come with me to make this sale.
11:18Pass.
11:19Hey, can you just let me out of here
11:21before whatever comes next?
11:22Don't worry.
11:23It's just a bull tranquilizer.
11:24Nothing to be alarmed about.
11:25It's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer
11:27at a co-worker.
11:28Dwight, you do not learn, do you?
11:31For a threat to be credible, you have...
11:34Holy s***.
11:36No, you didn't.
11:38I'm sick of you and your...
11:46It's all right.
11:48Andy approved it.
11:51Man, he's really in Twinkle Town now.
11:54Is he going to be okay?
11:56I mean, weren't those darts intended for an animal, like,
11:58two to three times larger than him?
12:01Okay, this dosage was meant for a very small bull,
12:04and Stanley's got way more body fat than they do.
12:06You gave him three shots.
12:07Shh.
12:09Got about 45 minutes to get him to the client
12:12before he comes to.
12:13Grab his feet.
12:17Let's go.
12:18All right.
12:18Move it.
12:19One, two, three.
12:22It's like a manatee.
12:24Ready?
12:25Let's go again.
12:26Come on.
12:27We can do this.
12:28One, two, three.
12:31Oh, God.
12:33No wonder my elevator cables are under such strain.
12:36We gotta get a wheelbarrow or something.
12:38Yes.
12:41Okay.
12:42We're good.
12:43We're good.
12:44Let's go.
12:45Oh, my God.
12:47Push.
12:48I am.
12:51Any big weekend plans?
12:52I might see a movie.
12:54Nice.
12:54What about you?
12:55Uh, I don't know yet.
12:57Let's get complete.
12:58Let's go right to the top of the stairs, okay?
13:00And then what?
13:03Okay, listen.
13:05I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this,
13:07but I've never actually done this before.
13:11Well, if I may, you're the natural.
13:14Thank you.
13:15I mean, I've rehearsed it in my head like a thousand times,
13:18but, uh...
13:18It's a little weird.
13:20I know.
13:21Evil Knievel.
13:31That's about as good as that's gonna be.
13:33Okay.
13:34Now, here's the plan.
13:35I'm gonna launch him.
13:36I need you to go down to the bottom and catch him.
13:38Catch?
13:38Yeah.
13:39I can't catch him.
13:40He's like 250 pounds.
13:41Now, use your hands and just blunt his descent, okay?
13:44He's gonna be moving slowly.
13:45Blunt?
13:45It's 15 feet down.
13:47It's at a 45-degree angle.
13:48Get set in your haunches.
13:50It's like you're catching a medicine.
13:51The size of my lunch is...
13:56Okay.
13:57Good call.
13:58He would have put a hole in your chest,
14:00same as he put a hole in that wall.
14:01We should probably call a doctor or something, dude.
14:09You okay?
14:11So, how does it work?
14:12Is it like, you know,
14:13the action of talking to a third party
14:14breaks up the lock jam, or...?
14:16You're really there to talk to each other.
14:18I'd say that the therapist is more of a facilitator.
14:23He might start by asking each of you,
14:25why do you think you're here?
14:27He took this job in Philly without telling me.
14:30He bought our house without telling me.
14:32At a certain point, he shouldn't be rewarded for that.
14:35If I didn't do certain things without telling Pam,
14:39she'd be married to Roy.
14:43I feel like he's always making these decisions for the family,
14:45and then I'm left playing catch-up.
14:48If she can just hang on for a little while longer,
14:50this will be so huge for our family.
14:53Well, what's a little while?
14:56What do you mean?
14:57I mean, what's the end date?
15:00It must be really hard for her to sign on to be unhappy
15:03if she doesn't know when it's going to end.
15:05That's kind of an impossible question.
15:13Oh, guys, it's starting!
15:14Hurry!
15:17Oh, there's Angela.
15:20I work with her.
15:21Huh, yeah.
15:22I mean, I'm happy Angela's the first one getting famous,
15:26but that's a little weird, no?
15:29I mean, she can't sing or act,
15:30so it's actually kind of insane if you think about it.
15:34Her hair looks beautiful.
15:35Yeah, we get it, Phyllis.
15:36She looks like a freaking movie star.
15:40Andy!
15:41I would just like to start by saying
15:44there have been some rumors
15:46about my personal life
15:48that I would like to settle once and for all,
15:51as my long-suffering wife can attest.
15:56I am gay.
15:59Senator, were you always gay
16:01or did your wife turn you gay?
16:02Question for the senator's beard.
16:04Aren't married couples supposed to grow together?
16:07Yes, we're supposed to grow together.
16:10One of them's not supposed to turn
16:12into a completely different person.
16:14I haven't changed.
16:16I was never happy just selling paper.
16:19You know, Pam's whole thing is
16:20why would you change what's working,
16:22but I don't think she wants to change anything.
16:24I was okay with the job
16:26when he said he could work from Scranton,
16:28and then he needs part-time in Philly.
16:31Now we're lucky if we see him once a week.
16:34I've put everything into this.
16:37Everything.
16:38I mean, this hasn't been easy,
16:39but I'm willing to make the sacrifice for us.
16:42You want to know what my dream is?
16:43To have a fun day at work with my husband
16:45and then go home and have dinner with our kids.
16:48It's pretty simple.
16:50I'll say it again for mis amigos Latinos.
16:55Yo soy homosexual.
16:56Poor Angela.
16:58Yeah, poor Angela.
17:01I once believed that a gay person
17:03could be somewhat straight.
17:04It wasn't until my marriage to Angela
17:07that I realized how charmless
17:12I find a female body.
17:14Oh, always hurts to hear that one.
17:16There's someone else I need to thank.
17:19His name is Oscar Martinez.
17:22Come on.
17:24Oscar is the one who opened my eyes
17:27to who I really am.
17:29For the first four days...
17:29Oscar is with the senator, too?
17:31Yes.
17:32And I knew it the whole time.
17:35I kept a secret.
17:37I kept a secret so good.
17:39You didn't know.
17:41You didn't know.
17:42You didn't freaking know.
17:44But I knew.
17:46He knew.
17:46Yes, we did it.
17:48And you did it, Kevin.
17:49Yes!
17:51Oh!
17:52I did it.
17:54Oh, I did it.
17:56I knew self-awareness.
17:58I was finally able to find love
18:00at long last
18:02with my amazing
18:04chief of staff,
18:07Wesley Silver.
18:08What?
18:09Wesley Silver is gay?
18:11Oh.
18:12Oscar and I did not see that coming.
18:18You make a nice couple.
18:23Almost there.
18:24Almost there.
18:25Ah!
18:27Okay.
18:28We're running late.
18:29Let's get him inside.
18:30We can't just leave him bubble wrap like this.
18:32Are you kidding me?
18:33The bubble wrap is the only thing
18:34that's stopping his suit
18:35from getting wrinkled.
18:36These meetings are all
18:37about presentation.
18:39That's actually really smart.
18:41Thank you.
18:42God, if only there was
18:43any other use or situation
18:45for that kind of knowledge.
18:46Let's get him inside.
18:49Shotgun.
18:52All right.
18:54Senator Lipton,
18:55what effect will this have
18:56on your family arrangement?
18:57Will you and Mrs. Lipton
18:59continue living together?
19:00Of course.
19:01As you know,
19:02Robert and I have a young child.
19:03I'll be moving in with Wesley.
19:05What?
19:06We need to know
19:07who we are as a couple.
19:08Robert, we never discuss this.
19:10Will you take this opportunity
19:11to promote change
19:12in the Republican Party
19:13with respect to their stance
19:14on gay marriage?
19:16No, I'll just be switching
19:17to the Democratic Party.
19:22Wait, wait, how are we doing this?
19:25Well, I'll grab the four legs
19:27and you push his hindquarters.
19:28Just say arms and legs.
19:30Okay, that's just,
19:31that's the vernacular
19:32that I'm comfortable with.
19:33Fine, let's go.
19:35Hoist his shank.
19:36Okay, what's a shank?
19:38It's by the tenderloin.
19:39Roll him, roll him, roll him.
19:41Good, good.
19:42Okay, careful.
19:43He's slouching.
19:44Okay, can you slouch him
19:46into the seat?
19:47Here, here, go around.
19:49Get the seatbelt.
19:49All right.
19:53Got it?
19:54Yep.
19:55Yep.
20:00Get in the back.
20:01What?
20:02Get in the back.
20:03Oh, come on.
20:05Get in.
20:05Damn it.
20:13Carla Fern is not just
20:15an actor's agent.
20:15She does writers, directors,
20:17travel, and real estate,
20:19which is perfect for me
20:21because I change
20:21what I want to do
20:22like six times a year.
20:26Actor?
20:27Oh, no.
20:29Well, I have an act.
20:30Dog, cat, mouse.
20:32Yeah, wow.
20:33Cool.
20:35Is it hard to train them
20:37to do that?
20:38Hmm, you go through
20:39a lot of mice.
20:40It started by accident,
20:41actually, as these things
20:42tend to do.
20:43You know, I was setting
20:43up my cat, and I accidentally
20:44put her on top of my dog,
20:45and I was, like, so mad
20:46at myself at first.
20:47And I was like, wait.
20:49Wait a second.
20:52Does anything go on top
20:53of the mouse?
20:54Yeah.
20:55Little hat.
20:56Oh, that's cute.
20:58What's the mouse's name?
20:59You know, really doesn't make
21:01sense the name of the mice.
21:05They're kind of like
21:06cannon fodder, you know?
21:07You don't want those
21:08PETA guys, are you?
21:11Well, great.
21:12I guess my realistic dream
21:14is to do a horse,
21:15dog, cat, mouse.
21:16You know, all four,
21:17like in a column.
21:18And then sometimes,
21:19I don't know how this sounds,
21:19but I kind of imagine
21:21doing all four of those
21:22with a piece of cheese
21:23on top of the mouse's hat.
21:25I mean, you wouldn't think
21:25the cheese is the hardest part,
21:26but all four of them,
21:28they really love cheese.
21:31Okay, Stanley,
21:32do you understand
21:33what we're about to do?
21:35Hello?
21:36Okay, there's no way there.
21:37Hey, hey, listen, listen.
21:39We are going to go discuss
21:41paper contracts
21:43for City of Lackawanna
21:44Public Schools, okay?
21:47Oh, God, this is bad.
21:49Looks like we've got no choice.
21:51You, my friend,
21:52are going to have to be
21:53Stanley Hudson.
21:56Visit the client,
21:57like, best friends
21:57with his sister?
22:00New plan.
22:01Okay, we get him
22:02a cup of coffee
22:03and we go back
22:03to the old plan.
22:04Let's go.
22:05Give me a hand.
22:06Here we go.
22:07Come on, Stanley.
22:08Here we go.
22:08Oopsy-doozy.
22:09There we go.
22:10Okay, all right.
22:12Come on, big guy.
22:13You can walk, right?
22:15Yeah.
22:15What a pretty smile.
22:16Let's go.
22:17I'm sure Athlete
22:18will be a huge success,
22:21but I don't want him
22:22to do it anymore,
22:23and I don't want to give him
22:24an ultimatum,
22:24but I am not
22:25moving our family to Philly.
22:27Well, if Pam says
22:28she won't go,
22:29then we're going to need
22:31a lot more than counseling.
22:36That was exhausting.
22:39Jim.
22:41Well, they deserve each other.
22:42They do.
22:42That they do.
22:43That is for sure.
22:44They do.
22:53Oh, whoops.
22:54Daisy-daisy.
22:54There he goes.
22:55For your day-to-day use,
22:57we offer 100% recycled paper
22:59made completely out of
23:00post-consumer waste.
23:02Oh, that bunny's got clothes.
23:04Oh, yeah.
23:05Stanley, what is going on here?
23:06He's fine.
23:07He gets car sick really easily.
23:09It's a long drive.
23:10He was in the back seat.
23:11But right now,
23:12we're talking to Mrs. Davis
23:13about the full range
23:14of the products that we offer
23:15and our competitive rates.
23:17Right, Stanley?
23:20Oh, look at that baby.
23:22Stanley.
23:22Oh.
23:26That's Benji in the middle.
23:28That's Benji.
23:30Oh, he's precious.
23:31That's a healthy-looking baby.
23:34Very special little boy.
23:35Oh.
23:36Look at him.
23:37I've never seen
23:38such a beautiful child.
23:39Funny sense of humor.
23:40If you push his nose,
23:41he'll go.
23:42Like that?
23:43What?
23:44Like that?
23:46Beautiful family.
23:50Right?
23:51Come on.
23:53Yeah.
23:53Come on.
23:54Maybe I'll never be manager,
23:55but I just managed
23:56to get our most stubborn salesman
23:58to close a sale
24:00with one of our biggest clients.
24:01And I must say,
24:02it's the most pleasant
24:03I've ever seen, Stanley.
24:04I think we should consider
24:06injecting him with bull tranquilizer
24:07on a daily basis.
24:08So, what can you do?
24:12Well, what can't I do?
24:14Right?
24:15I can sing.
24:17I can dance.
24:18I can play the banjo, innit?
24:20And if you hadn't noticed,
24:22I've got a pretty good British accent.
24:25Can you drive a car?
24:26At the risk of sounding arrogant,
24:28I did drive myself here.
24:30Why do you have
24:30a high school musical
24:33here on your resume?
24:34What are you, like 40, 45?
24:37My exact age is 28 to 34,
24:39so basically just send me out
24:40on whatever Jake Gyllenhaal's
24:42going out on.
24:43Gyllenhaal, got it.
24:45Can you juggle and crap?
24:48Yes.
24:49And yes.
24:51Would you dress up as,
24:54say, a birthday clown
24:55and go to a kid's party
24:56and let them throw old pies at you?
25:00Whereas that is not
25:02why I have entered show business,
25:06I do understand
25:07that you have to build credibility.
25:10I'm all for it.
25:12You're not in a union, are you?
25:13No, I am not.
25:14Is that, should I?
25:16No.
25:17Right?
25:18They foster laziness.
25:20Thank you.
25:21Personal note now.
25:23Are you gay?
25:24Not at this time.
25:26However, if the part should call
25:29for being gay,
25:30you will find no one gayer.
25:35Gay?
25:36Well, Mr. Bernard,
25:37I'm going to be honest with you.
25:39Well, at least I tried.
25:41Thank you very much.
25:42No, we're,
25:43we're going to take you on
25:45as a client.
25:49You are?
25:52Yes!
25:54Yes!
25:56Are you being for real right now?
25:59Oh, man.
26:01Ah, yes!
26:02I need this so bad.
26:03I really think this
26:05is what could fix me.
26:07We are extremely excited
26:10to be working with you, too, sir.
26:13Pay Todd on your way out.
26:16Most talent agents
26:17take 10% of whatever jobs
26:19they get you,
26:20but with Carla,
26:22you pay a flat rate
26:23of $5,000 up front.
26:26And that includes headshots.
26:29Ah, it doesn't include headshots.
26:30It doesn't include headshots.
26:32Well, of course not,
26:32because that would be insane
26:34if it did.
26:35Still getting a bargain, though.
26:41So I just smiled
26:43and complimented our grandkids,
26:45and we closed it.
26:46You earned yourself
26:47a nice, fat commission?
26:48You didn't even know it.
26:51I'll go tell Andy the good news.
26:53Oh.
26:55Silly me.
26:56Got to take the stairs.
26:57Oh, no.
26:58I'm not doing that again.
26:59You got me down,
26:59you got to get me back up.
27:01No, no, no.
27:12We need a winch
27:13and a hoist.
27:15Thank you.
27:44Gracias por ver el video
27:52Gracias por ver el video
Comments