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00:00t
00:02What goes up!
00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if i repeat myself
00:08Be simple, I'll be good for your health
00:11Be simple, I'll be good for your health
00:11If you keep them trying rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:155,000 leaders never scared
00:18Crazy noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, you still appear for ideas
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:26Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:26Get up, and show me
00:26Get up, get up, get up, get up
00:37Take some government advice, sit the family down, and get ready for your daily hour of
00:41screen time.
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, we focus on Iran, give social media the side eye, and zoom in on
00:53some disability sport.
00:55Plus, we'll be joined by singer Charlotte Church and comedian Nabil Abdul-Rashid.
00:59On the show that always takes a stern look at the news.
01:12G'day!
01:14Hello.
01:18G'day, I'm Adam Hills.
01:20Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that heard the owner of OnlyFans had died and thought,
01:24I wonder if you have to pay extra for an open coffin.
01:27With me, as always, with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe, and the man who thought
01:30crude oil was the opposite of extra virgin, Alex Brooker!
01:40Loads to get through tonight, loads to get through tonight.
01:42But something happened to me during the week that I wanted to bring up, because I know
01:44it's happened to Alex as well, in a similar way.
01:47So I was walking to tennis, I was in a pair of shorts, I had my prosthesis on, I had
01:52it
01:52taped up, because, look, it comes undone when I'm playing, so I have to tape it up.
01:58I keep saying to you, mate, you've got to get a new leg.
02:01Look, I like this one, it's got comfy in it.
02:04Ditto, I like mine as well.
02:06So, as I was walking, this woman walked past me, and she looked down, and she saw my prosthetic
02:10leg, and then she looked up at me as she kept walking and went, ooh, ouch!
02:19And she went so quickly that I didn't have time to go, oh, it's, oh, what a weird thing
02:24to say!
02:25Imagine if she's seen Brooker, ouch, ouch, ouch!
02:30She's there like E.T. with a little light-up finger, ouch!
02:34But when you first told us that, so you said, oh, a woman walked past, saw you in your tennis
02:38gear, and said, ouch, I thought she was like the fashion police!
02:41And she was like, oh, ouch!
02:44But I've, you know, I've had it before, so I was in the shorts, and I was in the supermarket,
02:51and the geezer kept looking down, you know when someone's looking at you, you go, they're
02:54going to say something, in a minute, and he just went, so, what happened there?
02:59And I was like, oh, well, you know, I had to have my foot amputated when I was a baby,
03:03because I didn't have one of the bones in my lower leg, so then I had to make the decision
03:07to amputate my foot, so that's why I've got a prosthetic leg.
03:10And he just went, well, I hope it gets better.
03:20You know what I mean?
03:24You must have had people wish for you to get better, haven't you?
03:29Yeah, no, I used to only have one leg, but it grew back.
03:33You had that recently in the gym, right?
03:35Oh, yes, I was in the gym, I was in the gym last week, and I had my shorts on,
03:39and I was
03:39on the exercise bike, and his geezer kept looking down on my leg, and I'm used to people, like,
03:43I don't mind, people do a double take, especially in the gym, and I don't mind it.
03:47I think they, I imagine they're kind of looking, just going, bloody hell, he's done more than
03:50skip leg day.
03:50But he was like looking, he was looking down at my leg, and he kept looking at the lower
03:54part of it, and I was thinking, this is really weird.
03:56Then I got home, and I got in the shower, took the leg off, and what I'd forgotten is that,
04:02the other week, I'd let my eldest decorate the leg with capybara stickers.
04:06They're called an arrow, so I have stickers all over my leg, including one that just says
04:11love, which Josh put on there, which was lovely actually, but yeah, it's fine.
04:16You know what, when you lifted your leg, your trousers up, the only thing I thought was
04:19ouch!
04:22It's fine, it's fine now my daughter's into capybara, so tell you what, when she was into
04:26Sabrina Carpenter, and put them stickers on, I just looked like a pervert, so.
04:32I'm going to say a sentence now that I've never said before on this show, and I never thought
04:35I would.
04:36In other capybara news, a rogue capybara escaped from my
04:41Marwell Zoo last week, and has been spotted across Hampshire, on the banks of the River
04:45Itchen, and at a pub quiz.
04:50I don't know who that hairy guy was, but he was great on South American Geography.
04:57This surprising video was taken of the rodent on the banks of a river.
05:00Watch the video, but also listen out for the name of the woman's dog.
05:08Growler?
05:09Growler?
05:10Oh, it's a hot deer.
05:11No, Growler, wait.
05:16Growler!
05:23What in hell is that?
05:29Who calls the dog Growler?
05:32Is that this year's Fenton?
05:35Yeah, I'm not sure, kind of, naming your dog after slang terms for private parts is a...
05:40Anyway, this is my sausage dog, Schlong.
05:44Minge!
05:45Minge!
05:45Minge!
05:45Here, Minge!
05:49Todger!
05:50Todger!
05:52Paps!
05:56Sorry, I've always wanted to shout that on TV.
05:59I can't believe I said the word...
06:00You, um...
06:00First time I said the word minge, I'd say hello.
06:04And let's hope the last.
06:05You're sorry!
06:07Alex actually met a capybara recently, and we're not making this up, are you?
06:10No, I didn't.
06:10Can I have a look?
06:11So, yeah, I met him a bit wanted to do it.
06:14He called to himself, I'll come over and see this little weird thing with funny little paws.
06:17But, um, yeah, these are...
06:18No, but you didn't realise these capybara sneakers are like Starbucks.
06:21If you get ten, you get to get one, so...
06:25We are live on your telly right now, so feel free to ask us any questions about the news.
06:29Message us on Instagram, the hashtags is it okay?
06:31WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908, or you can scan the QR code on your screen.
06:36Crispin Fisher just messaged in, I mean, how's this for topical?
06:40Is it okay?
06:40Will Tiger Woods soon be looking for a new driver?
06:45Let's get into the big story now, and, um...
06:47You know what?
06:48We all wondered what World War III was going to look like.
06:51Turns out, it's a lot more ridiculous than any of us would have predicted.
06:55In the last 24 hours, Donald Trump has described the British Navy as toys,
06:59said Iran had been beat to shit, and, I'm not making this up,
07:04implied that the new Ayatollah was gay.
07:08He sounds like Jay from the Inbetweeners.
07:13But the biggest thing, generally, if, like, one of your mates came out
07:16with all of that stuff in the pub, you'd go,
07:18do you know what, mate, shall we get you home?
07:20Yeah.
07:21Were not your witch of Trump statements prompted the CIA director,
07:24John Ratcliffe, to adopt this relatable pose?
07:29Oh, I thought they were just playing hide and seek.
07:31HE LAUGHS
07:33HE LAUGHS
07:33He said, counting, 9,900.
07:36Donald's hiding the one place you wouldn't expect, Melania's bedroom.
07:41HE LAUGHS
07:42Do you think Donald Trump...
07:44You know when you hide and seek with a kid?
07:46Yeah.
07:46With Donald Trump, it's the same.
07:48You walk in, and you can see him poking out,
07:50but you have to pretend you can't see him.
07:53HE LAUGHS
07:55Trump also rambled at length about his love of Sharpie pens,
07:58for some reason,
07:58before then owning himself in this less-than-humble brag.
08:03I'm the only president that ever took a cognitive test.
08:07I took it three times.
08:09It's actually a very hard test for a lot of people.
08:11It wasn't hard for me.
08:13But it's a cognitive test.
08:15It starts off with an easy question,
08:17and by the time you get to the middle, it gets severed.
08:19By the time you get to the end,
08:21very few people can answer those questions.
08:22They get very tough, mathematical equations and things.
08:26I took it three times.
08:28I aced it all three times,
08:30in front of numerous doctors that I have no idea who they are.
08:36Why is he doing it again?
08:38If he's acing it, they're going,
08:40bloody hell, that was good.
08:41I've got to see you do it again.
08:44I think he passes it,
08:45goes out, gives another press conference,
08:47and they go in there and go,
08:48do you know what?
08:48I think this fucking computer won't work.
08:51If you have to take any test a multiple number of times,
08:54that's not a good thing.
08:56I don't want to get into a cab with a driver who's gone,
08:58you know what?
08:58I've taken the driving test nine times.
09:03I've been going home with someone and they're like,
09:05do you know what?
09:05I've been tested for syphilis four times.
09:12I think we're okay.
09:13Look, there has been a lot of back and forward this week.
09:15In fact, the whole thing has been very,
09:17he said, she, I said.
09:21That's lovely.
09:23Trump repeatedly said Iran are, quote,
09:25begging for a deal, but they say that's not true.
09:28And look, let's face it,
09:29it's probably not the first time
09:30Trump's assumed someone was begging for it
09:32when they absolutely weren't.
09:36This week in Iranian spokes...
09:37Yeah.
09:38Yeah.
09:45Yeah, repost that one, you orange furball.
09:50This week an Iranian spokesman explained the situation in a way that made it sound less like a geopolitical confrontation
09:56and more like a high school spat.
09:59Our American counterparts have begun sending messages through others, other countries that are our friends.
10:05If there are messages through others to which we respond with our own position and demands, that is not called
10:11conversation nor negotiation or anything.
10:14This is simply sending messages through others.
10:17It's like the political equivalent of saying, if you've got something to say to me, say it to my face.
10:23Today, the US bombed two nuclear related facilities to which Iran said, but we were on a break.
10:29The only time you ever, like, pass messages to someone, like, through their friends, is when you're at school, when
10:35you fancy someone.
10:36Yeah.
10:36Speaking of which, Adam, can you just come over here a second?
10:40Do you mind? Sorry.
10:42Can you, um...
10:44Can you just give this to Josh for my place?
10:51Not with a Capybara involved, no.
11:05Don't worry, you can't catch it. I've been telling you for 14 years.
11:09I've been tested four times.
11:18At one point this week, Donald Trump said he was working with the Ayatollah,
11:21but that's the same guy whose father Trump killed and who may or may not be in a coma.
11:26So he's either angry or sleepy.
11:28But how many talks are going to go if he's in a coma?
11:31They're going to be operating him like Weekend at Bernie's.
11:35He's on a Zoom call moving his jaw up and down.
11:38It's not surprising Iran were a little bit confused by it all.
11:41This week Donald Trump presented them with a 15-point plan.
11:44But check out the specifics in this vague clip.
11:4815 points.
11:50Well, they're not going to have a nuclear weapon, that's number one.
11:53That's number one, two and three.
11:54They will never have a nuclear weapon.
12:01You can't just repeat the first three points over again.
12:05It's not the rules of Fight Club.
12:07What are rules four through 15?
12:09What did I just say?
12:11Everyone thinks... sorry.
12:13Well, everyone thinks that the reason why they're not agreeing to it
12:15is because it's the nuclear weapons and that's the sticking point.
12:18But it's not.
12:19It's because I found out that the US are asking, in those 15 points,
12:23they're asking Iran to do things that are impossible for them to do.
12:26Like point six is eat a donut without licking your lips and they're just...
12:31Point seven is find a word that rhymes with orange.
12:33And they're like, look, we'll give you the nucleus but...
12:37So one, two, three are no nuclear weapons.
12:40Yep.
12:40And then one, two, three, four is I declare a thumb war.
12:43Yeah.
12:45And then five, six, seven, eight is who do we appreciate.
12:50Look, the main thing is, Iran already agreed not to have a nuclear weapon
12:53before this war began.
12:54In fact, the entire plan that was put forward this week
12:57seems to be from May 2025.
12:59The giveaway is that it contains references to the hawk tour girl.
13:04Point seven is you have to watch adolescence.
13:09No, I just think that it's...
13:14I forgot what I was going to say.
13:17Do you know what?
13:18I was thinking about, I was thinking, is the hawk tour girl last year?
13:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:23Point 12 is you've got to listen to Lily Allen's new album.
13:27What's incredible is you aced your cognitive test four times.
13:30Yeah, I did, yeah.
13:32And I won the fun war.
13:37Earlier in the week, Donald Trump thanked Iran for giving the US, quote,
13:40a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money.
13:43And everyone was, like, wondering what this amazing gift was going to be.
13:46It turned out it was allowing eight ships through the Strait of Hormuz.
13:50Eight.
13:51Before the war, there were 138 ships a day going through that strait.
13:54That's not much of a gift.
13:56If this was love, actually, Donald Trump just got the Joni Mitchell CD.
14:01Thankfully, the British ship HMS Dragon finally arrived in Cyprus this week,
14:05four weeks after the war began.
14:06More like dragging your heels, am I right?
14:09Oh, there we go.
14:10And just when you thought the British Navy couldn't look more embarrassing,
14:12this week they had to borrow a ship from Germany to fulfil their obligations in the Atlantic Ocean.
14:18How's that working, like, borrowing a ship off someone to take to war?
14:22Yeah.
14:22Like, is Keir Starmer having to go around the ship with a German, like, with a diagram,
14:26just marking off where the dents already are?
14:30No, there's a scratch on the starboard side there, Keir.
14:33Just, yeah.
14:34The captain gets into the seats really far back.
14:38The last thing he heard was,
14:39make sure you return it with a full tank.
14:44So, look, as the ceasefire is extended
14:46and the world speculates as to how Donald Trump is behaving,
14:48we think we've found a pattern of bullshit, OK?
14:51Now, there's an acronym being used to describe Donald Trump's way of operating
14:56and it's TARCO.
14:57Trump always chickens out.
15:00But we think something else is going on
15:02and I think Donald Trump's hairstyle is the key to all this.
15:08Now, Donald Trump likes to charge into things head first,
15:12but it doesn't always work out.
15:14Take Iran, for example.
15:15This is a map, a vague map, of the Strait of Hormuz, OK?
15:21Can you tell what it is yet?
15:26Um...
15:26Ha, ha, ha!
15:34Now, Donald Trump attacked these guys,
15:38who then attacked all of these guys.
15:40They then blocked all of this up,
15:41stopping the oil coming from over here.
15:43As you can see, he's made an absolute mess of it.
15:47So, what does Donald Trump do?
15:50LAUGHTER
15:56He just brushes over it with claims of a peace deal
15:58that may or may not exist.
16:00All he needs is a sympathetic media
16:01to create a smokescreen and hold it in place.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:05Oh, that's fucking real.
16:09Hair?
16:10LAUGHTER
16:10I mean, it doesn't look unlike my hair now, does it?
16:14LAUGHTER
16:14But this isn't the first time Donald Trump has done this.
16:17Have a look at Stormy Daniels.
16:19Trump's lawyer paid $130,000 in hush money
16:23for her to keep quiet about allegations of an affair with Trump,
16:27which he denied.
16:30LAUGHTER
16:35How about Trump University, set up in 2004?
16:40It didn't actually confer grades or degrees
16:42and was the subject of a number of lawsuits.
16:45But three of those lawsuits,
16:47Donald Trump settled out of court for $25 million.
16:53Then there was Trump's stakes.
16:58That was with my eyes!
17:00LAUGHTER
17:01Trump Casino Atlantic City.
17:05LAUGHTER
17:07And Trump Shuttle,
17:09an airline that went under, ironically,
17:11partly due to a spike in fuel prices during the Gulf War.
17:16LAUGHTER
17:17That was like being in Guantanamo Bay.
17:20LAUGHTER
17:22Donald Trump has spent his entire life
17:23running head-first into things,
17:25making an absolute mess,
17:26and then somehow managing to cover it all up.
17:28Which means TARCO doesn't stand for
17:31Trump always chickens out.
17:32It actually stands for
17:33Trump always combs over.
17:36LAUGHTER
17:40APPLAUSE
17:47And there you have it.
17:48Male, pattern, bullshit.
17:51LAUGHTER
17:53APPLAUSE
17:55And there you have it.
17:56APPLAUSE
17:58All right, let's welcome tonight's guest.
17:59She's a singer who hosts dreaming retreats in the woods.
18:01He's a comedian who has a purple belt in jiu-jitsu.
18:04She's a lover and he's a fighter.
18:06It's Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
18:18Hello.
18:21Hello.
18:24Hello.
18:32Hello.
18:33Hello.
18:34Hello.
18:34Charlotte, what do you make of the world at the moment?
18:36Urgh.
18:37That can be an answer.
18:39LAUGHTER
18:40What do I make of the world?
18:41I mean, um...
18:43I think that we wouldn't be in this pickle
18:46if there were far more women in power
18:48all the way throughout the system.
18:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:54Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:56Yeah, I think, really, the longer the short of it
18:58is, um...
19:00male egos.
19:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:04Really?
19:04LAUGHTER
19:06No argument here.
19:08No argument here.
19:10Nabeel, what have you made of Iran and Trump
19:12and all of it?
19:14Well, far be it from me
19:16to regurgitate crazy right-wing conspiracy theories,
19:20but...
19:21LAUGHTER
19:27LAUGHTER
19:29I have to close off my chakras.
19:31Now, it's all the less fault.
19:34You see, what happened is, Donald Trump...
19:36Follow me now.
19:36Donald Trump was friends with Elon Musk, right?
19:39And they staged a breakup, but it was fake.
19:41And Elon Musk was known for selling what?
19:42Electric cars.
19:43Mm-hm.
19:44That's right.
19:45Now, they fake that breakup.
19:47He then starts what makes oil become expensive.
19:52Donald Trump has been radicalised
19:54by just stop oil.
19:57LAUGHTER
19:59LAUGHTER
20:01LAUGHTER
20:01APPLAUSE
20:02LAUGHTER
20:05And...
20:06I mean, further proof is this.
20:08What are they known for?
20:08They put orange paint on statues of leaders.
20:11LAUGHTER
20:12LAUGHTER
20:13Stay woke, people!
20:15LAUGHTER
20:17APPLAUSE
20:21Now, Charlotte, you were asked to sing
20:24at Donald Trump's inauguration.
20:26I was.
20:27And I know this because in 2017 you tweeted,
20:30and I quote,
20:30Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration.
20:33A simple internet search would show I think you're a tyrant.
20:36Bye.
20:38LAUGHTER
20:38For poo emojis.
20:40APPLAUSE
20:43APPLAUSE
20:48Do you ever look back and think,
20:50Not enough poo emojis?
20:51LAUGHTER
20:52Yes, quite.
20:54Absolutely.
20:54Not enough poo emojis.
20:56There's not enough poo emojis in the world.
20:58LAUGHTER
20:58This week Donald Trump's egomania reached new heights
21:01as a coin was approved with him on one side
21:03to mark America's 250th anniversary.
21:05This is what the brush on your coin reportedly looks like.
21:08LAUGHTER
21:10It looks like he's about to get a prostate exam.
21:13LAUGHTER
21:14He's got, yeah.
21:15I've had three prostate exams and I aced them all.
21:19LAUGHTER
21:20APPLAUSE
21:26With a whole bunch of people,
21:27I don't know who they were.
21:30LAUGHTER
21:31What's weird is in America,
21:33although look, there are exceptions,
21:34but it's generally illegal in America
21:36to have a living president on a coin.
21:39I mean, there's two ways of fixing that, right?
21:42LAUGHTER
21:43There are some arguments
21:45over how big the coin should be.
21:46Not surprisingly,
21:47Trump wants it to be as big as possible.
21:50So...
21:51Bring in the coin!
21:54APPLAUSE
21:57LAUGHTER
22:00Thank you, Adam.
22:02Now, this is the biggest one we can make.
22:04As you can see, this is the front,
22:05but every head needs a tail,
22:07so this is what the back looks like.
22:11LAUGHTER
22:14APPLAUSE
22:25I'm pretty sure that's called butt coin.
22:27LAUGHTER
22:28We'll have more last link for you after the break.
22:30We'll log out of Facebook
22:31and limit our screen time.
22:32See you in a little bit.
22:34APPLAUSE
22:42APPLAUSE
22:48Welcome back to Last Leg.
22:50We're joined by Charlotte Clerk
22:51and Nabil Abdul-Rashid.
22:52In tech news tonight,
22:54a woman in America has successfully sued Meta and YouTube
22:57over her childhood addiction to social media.
23:00jurors found that both companies intentionally built
23:03addictive social media platforms
23:04that harmed the 20-year-old's mental health.
23:06How do we all feel about this?
23:08I'm pleased they've lost.
23:10I'm delighted they've lost.
23:11I think it's excellent news.
23:13Um...
23:13APPLAUSE
23:18I genuinely...
23:19You actually sent me that in a Facebook message, didn't you?
23:22LAUGHTER
23:22So I think it's...
23:23I think, obviously, there's lots of positive things
23:26about social media.
23:27Yep.
23:27But I think, um...
23:29It's not just that I think companies aren't interested
23:33in stopping people addicted to it,
23:35it is beneficial for them to make people addicted to it.
23:37Their whole raison d'etre is to get people on it
23:40for as long as possible.
23:41So everything they do on there
23:43is to get people addicted,
23:44to get people to keep going on it.
23:46Yep.
23:47And so I think it's obvious that they're doing that.
23:51APPLAUSE
23:54Rochella, I mean, you run retreats in the woods.
23:57This must be, like, perfect news for you.
23:59Yeah, I think it's really important.
24:01I mean, like, the scientific evidence is really...
24:05I mean, it's not just compelling.
24:07It's just completely self-evident at this juncture,
24:11the cognitive decline,
24:13the ways in which, like, young people's brains
24:15are growing differently because of addiction
24:18to social media and technology in general.
24:21And, look, this isn't to say, like,
24:23technology's not the bad thing, technology's a tool
24:25and technology can do some amazing things.
24:27It's about the intention behind the technology
24:30and the people who have got control of the technology
24:33are horrific fascists.
24:36LAUGHTER
24:40And they are genuinely...
24:42Like, they are invested in us being, you know, captive.
24:49Yeah.
24:49You know, in so many ways.
24:51And our children being captive.
24:53So I believe, like, we can't wait for governments
24:57and nation-states to put in the legislation that protects us.
25:02I think we have to practise guardianship in our own households
25:05and families.
25:07APPLAUSE
25:09Yeah.
25:11Do you reckon...
25:11Now, obviously, now it's been proved to be harmful.
25:14Yeah.
25:14Do you reckon they'll have warnings on it?
25:16Like, cigarettes?
25:17You just log onto Facebook,
25:19just see a photo of someone who's been catfished.
25:22LAUGHTER
25:23Naveel, anything to add?
25:25It's almost like billionaires don't care about people.
25:29LAUGHTER
25:31APPLAUSE
25:34I...
25:35I have a restaurant policy when it comes to these things, right?
25:39Yeah.
25:39So, this is advice for you.
25:40If you go to a Nigerian restaurant or a Chinese restaurant
25:42or a Thai restaurant
25:43and there's no Nigerians, no Chinese, no Thai eating in there,
25:46don't eat there.
25:47Mm-hmm.
25:47So, it's the same thing with these websites.
25:49The owner of TikTok doesn't let his children on TikTok.
25:51The fuck are you doing on TikTok?
25:53LAUGHTER
25:59While we're talking social media,
26:01the thumbs-up emoji was voted this week
26:03as Britain's least favourite message icon.
26:05People said it's blunt, lazy and rude.
26:07Tell me about it.
26:10LAUGHTER
26:13Fucking get rid of it.
26:15I don't think you should be allowed to do it in real life, either.
26:19Good question, what's everyone's most used emoji?
26:22I'm less of an emoji person.
26:24I'm a chronic voice noter.
26:26Oh.
26:26I know, which is my mighty, isn't it?
26:28Some people are like, love...
26:30I think voice noting is a superior form of communication
26:34as to the humble text, but...
26:37Why not just call?
26:38LAUGHTER
26:40This is true.
26:41This is true.
26:41You raise a very good point.
26:42But also, my husband's, like, on at me often
26:46that my elongated, you know, sort of bambling voice notes
26:52are a little self-indulgent, so...
26:55How long's your longest voice note?
26:56I got one of eight minutes the other day.
26:58Oh!
26:58Yeah.
26:59I'm not that bad.
27:00I mean, I think I generally keep it around three minutes longest.
27:04Oh, OK.
27:04I think that's all right.
27:05Yeah.
27:06I think that's all right.
27:06My favourite emoji is, uh...
27:09That...
27:09That guy?
27:10That guy?
27:11You know the big wide mouth guy?
27:17That guy?
27:18You know, you know...
27:18You know the one.
27:20If...
27:21He's got a big wide mouth and he looks shocked.
27:25Oh, yeah, OK, yeah.
27:26Do you know the one I mean?
27:27Yeah.
27:27That guy.
27:29I'll tell you what, if we...
27:30I know, like, we've been going down on social media and technology,
27:33but if someone can please make that into a sticker.
27:38You know what I mean?
27:39Like, when there's an awkward situation...
27:41That guy.
27:42Oh, oh, the teeth one.
27:44That guy!
27:44Yeah!
27:45What did you show your teeth then?
27:51Meanwhile, Argos has ignited a debate this week
27:53after releasing a wooden influencer kit aimed at toddlers.
27:57We've got one here.
27:58It's for ages three and above.
28:00I'm going to set it up for you.
28:01There's a little tripod.
28:03It comes with a ring light.
28:05It comes with a phone.
28:08And a camera.
28:10And I guess that's like a little mini tablet of some sort.
28:13Oh, and a microphone.
28:14And a little microphone.
28:15What do we think?
28:17I think the audience seemed horrified.
28:19I mean, where does...
28:20Like, I don't...
28:21I don't like that, but like, where does it...
28:23Where does it stop?
28:25Like, my first OnlyFans kit?
28:26I mean...
28:34The kid also comes with this adorable private plane to get you out of Dubai.
28:43And look, we've decided to jump on board and make our own children's toy for kids who want to grow
28:47up to be on the last leg.
28:48Yeah, so we've made...
28:49So we've got...
28:50We've got our very own...
28:51Me and Josh have made our very own Josh and Alex kits.
28:54So here we go.
28:55So I'm demonstrating...
28:56This is to be your own very own Josh Widdicombe.
28:59We've got the hair.
29:00We've got the glasses.
29:04We've got the podcast mic.
29:09And we've got...
29:10Oh, why have you put some nail clippers in it?
29:12Just for...
29:12Because I've got so many nails on my feet.
29:14Oh, right.
29:14Yeah, yeah, cool.
29:15And your nails.
29:17You've got...
29:17Josh is modelling the Alex...
29:19This is the Alex one.
29:20So I've got the hair.
29:21Yeah.
29:21And then I've got the mittens.
29:23Here you go.
29:24You've got the little Alex Brooker hands.
29:27Alex Brooker.
29:28Tell you what.
29:29You wear them at Disney.
29:29You get to the front of the queue.
29:32And then...
29:32Look!
29:33Look at this.
29:33Your very own...
29:34Slide on prosthetic leg.
29:38That's all, isn't it?
29:46Yeah, I...
29:47I'm going to be honest.
29:47I think I took it in a slightly different direction.
29:50I've got my first...
29:51My first bone saw.
29:52My first bone saw.
29:55And then I've got some strawberry flavoured anaesthetic.
29:58And a shitload of bandages.
29:59All in a little kit called the last leg amputation kit.
30:03So...
30:05Yeah.
30:10Kids at home, send in your videos.
30:12Let us know how you got on.
30:15And look, let's do a bit of royal news now.
30:17The Sun this week said that the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson,
30:19once met with an American production company to discuss taking part in a TV reality show
30:23in which she would create clones of Queen Elizabeth's corgis.
30:28I was worried that if she'd have taken it on, it would have gone well.
30:32Then the idea would have been to clone Andrew.
30:35And then the clone would go to prison.
30:38Oh, that's clever.
30:39Do the jail time for him.
30:40What if that went wrong and she mistakenly cloned 100 Andrews?
30:44That's the worst scenario.
30:45God, yeah.
30:46What would you rather fight?
30:47Like an Andrew made up of a...
30:49Like a massive 100 Andrew-sized Andrew?
30:51Or a 100 little Andrews?
30:53Are we stoned?
30:54I think so.
30:56I think that hairspray was too.
30:58This did give Josh and Alex an idea for a game though.
31:00Oh, yes.
31:01Yeah, it did.
31:02So...
31:02Now, cloning corgis.
31:04We were discussing this earlier this week and we said,
31:06the point is, there's no point cloning a corgi
31:09because you can't tell them apart.
31:10All corgis look the same.
31:11Yeah.
31:12And I'm telling you now,
31:12if I had a pound for every time someone has said to me,
31:14I can tell any corgis apart easily,
31:16I'd have about £2.36 by now.
31:19So, we are going to put this to a test in a game.
31:21We are calling...
31:25Corgi eyes.
31:27I can't believe my corgi eyes.
31:36Yes!
31:38Welcome to our brand new game show.
31:41I can't believe my corgis.
31:45So, this is a game that Queen herself used to regularly play
31:48in a drawing room, right?
31:49In a moment, my dear friend Alex Brooker over there,
31:52yeah, and I are going to unveil nine pictures of corgis.
31:56OK?
31:57But eight of them are the same corgi.
32:01And one is a different corgi.
32:03How do you find the different corgi?
32:07Basically, all you have to do is use the power
32:08of your own corgis and tell us which is the odd one out.
32:12But before we start, I want to let you know,
32:13this isn't just a silly game,
32:15because we have a very important special prize on offer
32:18for you.
32:20This prize is worth winning if you don't live in a flat
32:23or have allergies.
32:24Right.
32:25Let's uncover the corgis.
32:28OK, so...
32:29There's corg A.
32:31Corg A.
32:32Corg B.
32:34Oh, they're...
32:35Here's corg C.
32:36Oh, this is...
32:37Corg D.
32:39Happy little guys.
32:40Oh, I could see.
32:40Corg E.
32:42Yeah, get it?
32:43Oh.
32:44Corg F.
32:45Corg F.
32:46Corg G.
32:47I can hear Charlotte's already playing along.
32:49Oh, sorry.
32:50Corg H.
32:51OK.
32:52Ooh.
32:53And corgi.
32:54Oh.
32:55There you go.
32:55OK.
32:56What do you think in the audience?
32:58Oh.
32:59No, not the woo.
33:02Which corgi are you going for?
33:04What are you going for?
33:05C's the real one.
33:06C's the real one.
33:08C's the real one.
33:08C's the real one?
33:08So what do you think, guys?
33:10I think we think...
33:10Well, I'm thinking that C's the real one,
33:13simply because all the rest of them...
33:14No, they're all real corgis.
33:15They're all real corgis.
33:17None of them are AI.
33:18This isn't corg AI.
33:19Oh, yes!
33:22Yes!
33:23Yes, brother!
33:25We're done!
33:29So corg C is the...
33:32Not the real one.
33:33The uncloned one.
33:34The uncloned one.
33:35Do you agree with that, Nabil?
33:36I'm not sure about it.
33:38There's something about corg AI that makes me...
33:40It looks like it has some kind of substance habit.
33:42But that's like...
33:44You had some of that air spray weird.
33:46OK, so which are you going to lock in your answer?
33:48Is that a C, Charlotte?
33:49I'm going to go for C.
33:50Nabil?
33:54What's that sound?
33:55I'm going to see what I can record nice.
33:57Yay!
34:01We all thought that sort of thing in this game.
34:04Oh, yeah.
34:04We probably need an answer.
34:05Yeah.
34:06I think that...
34:08Corgi.
34:09Corgi.
34:10You think Corgi.
34:11And Charlotte, you said corg...
34:12Corg C, yeah.
34:13Corg C.
34:15Oh, well, I can tell you.
34:17It was a good try.
34:18But it's not right.
34:19Your eyes have deceived you.
34:20No.
34:21You failed to spot the old corgi out.
34:22And I can't believe you got it wrong.
34:24It's Corg D.
34:25Oh.
34:26Oh.
34:27Sorry.
34:28You could have won...
34:29You could have won the special prize.
34:31Well, let's see what you could have won.
34:32Let's bring it out.
34:33Oh, gosh.
34:35Corgi.
34:36Oh.
34:38Oh.
34:39Oh.
34:39I can't believe it.
34:44Oh.
34:44Oh, no.
34:46Oh, no.
34:47Oh, no.
34:48Oh, no.
34:48Oh, no.
34:48Is it trained to bark on certain words?
34:51There's certain words, yeah.
34:53He's a little bit against a certain American president.
34:57Oh.
34:58Does it work if I say Donald Trump?
35:01Trump.
35:01Trump.
35:07All right.
35:08We'll have more Last Legs for you after the break
35:10as we meet England's deaf women's futzle team
35:12and celebrate their massive victory.
35:13We'll see you in a little bit.
35:27Welcome back to Last Legs.
35:28We're John Michelle Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
35:31In disability news now, a woman by the name of Becky Coleman
35:34is hoping to become the first wheelchair user
35:36to row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course in April.
35:39She's here with us tonight,
35:40so would you please welcome Becky Coleman.
35:52Now, Becky, let's first say you're wearing a mask
35:54because you really don't want to catch anything before the race.
35:57Is that right?
35:57Yeah.
35:58Got to stay good for next week.
35:59So, yeah.
36:00Awesome work.
36:01So, when did you start rowing?
36:03So, I started rowing just under a year ago,
36:05a couple of days before the Oxford and Cambridge boat race,
36:08actually, last April.
36:10Right.
36:10And what changes have to be made to the boat?
36:12Yeah, so I row with a fixed seat,
36:14so I just row with my arms,
36:16and I also have stabilisers on the boat as well
36:18to add a bit of extra stability.
36:20And you're the first person to do this,
36:22so what's the plan for the future?
36:25Possibly, maybe, do the head of the Charles in America
36:27at some point.
36:28So, I know we've had a bit of a dig at the US this evening,
36:31but maybe, still welcome.
36:34Yeah, possibly that,
36:35and maybe write a book at some point as well,
36:37kind of my experience with sepsis that I had a few years ago.
36:40So, yeah.
36:40And so, like, looking into your biog,
36:42you were also an elite triathlete
36:44and a top 40 wheelchair tennis player.
36:46So, can you stop making the rest of us look bad?
36:56We...
36:57We do have a little...
36:58We do have a little gift for you.
37:00We've got a little hands in a boat.
37:02Hands was our little Paralympic mascot.
37:09There you go.
37:10No worries.
37:12Good luck.
37:12Give us a wave.
37:13Take hands with you.
37:14Good luck, Becky.
37:21Glenn said,
37:22Is it OK that the women's England's deaf footballers are champions?
37:26Oh, yes, it fucking is.
37:27Yes, England won the European Deaf Futsal Championship
37:30after their 2-0 win against Poland
37:33in the final over the weekend.
37:34Here are some of the highlights.
37:37This is the first goal from Lucinda Lawson.
37:41Great finish.
37:42Great finish.
37:43Here are the scenes at the final whistle.
37:49And here's the trophy left.
37:56We are very excited to have them in the studio,
37:58and they're just as excited to be here,
38:00so put your hands in the air like you really care for the European champions,
38:03the England Deaf Women's Futsal Team!
38:05All right, let's go.
38:06Let's go.
38:071-0.
38:07Woo, woo, woo, woo!
38:09Woo, woo, woo!
38:15Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
38:32So, congratulations to you all. Zara, the captain. Where's Zara?
38:36Zara, what changes are made to the rules of your game?
38:40Yeah, so it's an indoor five-a-side football style.
38:44Obviously, that's the format.
38:45Without the walls, we play on a hard surface with a heavier ball.
38:49So it's a little bit different than football,
38:51because we play indoors.
38:53But in terms of the deaf football game,
38:55we obviously play without our hearing devices,
38:57so everyone's on a level playing field.
38:59And the referees are supposed to use flags instead of whistles.
39:02It doesn't always work out that way,
39:04especially when you see a referee blowing a whistle
39:06and everyone's still running.
39:08LAUGHTER
39:10So, Kate, what are the challenges of playing deaf futsal?
39:14Well, we can't hear, is the first.
39:17LAUGHTER
39:20APPLAUSE
39:24That's the start.
39:25I think there's lots of different things that sort of play a part.
39:29And so you've constantly got to be aware of every single little thing
39:33around you all the time, because as Zara said,
39:36sometimes you keep running, someone else has stopped,
39:39and you end up clattering into each other sometimes.
39:42And so on the court, that's one thing.
39:45And then off the court, we've actually got...
39:48We've all got full-time jobs.
39:51And then you've got Ellie with a full-time job,
39:53and she's also a mum, and Forrest came out to support us as well.
39:57So there's lots of different challenges.
39:59And Maisie, how do you communicate with each other?
40:02Yeah, so when we get each other's attention, we use BSL.
40:04So every country will have their own sort of sign language.
40:07But to be honest, the hardest part is actually getting
40:09the person's attention in the first place.
40:12I think some people can pick up a bit of sounds,
40:14you can yell at them, and they will hear you.
40:16Most of us, it's frantic waving of hands,
40:18trying to get people's attention.
40:20Or if you're only better, would you like to jump up and down
40:21and stomp to your feet, and still not get the person's attention?
40:25And Sophie, you're 16...
40:2817.
40:2917, pardon me.
40:31So, were you calling home regularly?
40:34No.
40:37I, to be fair, probably call my friends more than I actually call my own mum,
40:40which...
40:41I'm sorry mum, but, um...
40:44That sounds more important there.
40:47Wow.
40:48Um, and look, we want to end the show by singing
40:51Football's Coming Home, or Futsal's Coming Home,
40:53but we also want to sign it while we do it.
40:55So Lucinda, can you show us how to sign
40:57It's Coming Home, Futsal's Coming Home?
41:05It's Coming Home.
41:08Does it have to be the right hand?
41:09So let's try...
41:11It's coming home, it's coming home,
41:14it's coming, Futsal's coming home.
41:19It's a very small house I've got here.
41:22All right, it's a bungalow.
41:28We're going to try and learn that over the break and put those skills to use at the end of
41:33the show.
41:33We'll hold a sing-along and a sign-along for the England Deaf Women's Futsal Team.
41:36It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming.
41:43Futsal's coming home.
41:44I think we've got it.
41:45We'll see you in a little bit.
42:00Welcome back to Last Legs, we're John MacArthur Church and Nabil Abdul-Rashid.
42:05We're going to recap some news you might have missed this week.
42:07Um, sharks swimming in the Bahamas have been found to have traces of cocaine in their blood.
42:13Yeah, because sharks aren't cocky enough.
42:17Um, although I reckon it would be easier to get away from a shark if before they bit you,
42:21they had to tell you about crypto.
42:24I imagine them so off their nut, they're in the water, they're doing the Jaws music themselves.
42:32We're going to need a bigger mirror.
42:33Why has my thing gone smaller?
42:36I think that would be called the grinding Jaws music.
42:39Along with the great white powder, sharks were also found to have had caffeine in their system.
42:44I know, I don't know if you've ever seen an over-caffeinated shark who's also taking cocaine.
42:49It's pretty much the same vibe as an estate agent's Christmas party.
42:54Meanwhile, a former Tory MP named Crispin Blunt was revealed this week to have been in possession of crystal meth.
43:00Police also found cannabis, presumably for a joint, or as it's now known on the street, a Crispin Blunt.
43:06Uh, how's it, he represented himself in court, which is never a good sign,
43:10uh, and said that he hosted drug-fuelled chemsex parties at his house in order to help inform government policy.
43:17No, he didn't!
43:20What?!
43:20On my days!
43:22A man of the people!
43:24What?!
43:25Whoa!
43:26Whoa!
43:28That's crazy!
43:29No, right?
43:31Do you know what, I was up till 3am last night working on policy.
43:35I think he might enjoy prison.
43:37By the way, Crispin Blunt...
43:39Working on prison policy.
43:40Crispin Blunt lost the party whip in 2023 and the party handcuffs a year later.
43:47Animal story tonight, a squirrel was caught on film in London this week handling a vape in Brixton.
43:52Brrrr!
43:55Brrrr!
43:57Here is...
43:59Here is the startling footage.
44:02Uh, there it is.
44:04Squirrel with a vape.
44:05Oh!
44:06I know, somewhere in the Caribbean there's a shark on cocaine going,
44:09eh, soft cock.
44:13And finally, Ipswich Town Football Club were forced to release a statement this week after reform leader Nigel Farage...
44:19Oooooooooooh!
44:20Sorry.
44:23I couldn't help it.
44:25Oh, fuck that guy.
44:26I love that guy!
44:27I know, you hate Ipswich.
44:29I fucking...
44:32I'm sorry.
44:32Huge Norwich fan.
44:35Nigel Farage posted these promotional photos of himself on a tour of the stadium with the phrase,
44:39I've never been too bad on the right wing.
44:41Fuck off.
44:42Sorry.
44:43Uh, the club pointed out it wasn't an official visit and that they do not support any political viewpoint.
44:48Uh, yes.
44:49Let's reflect how embarrassed the Ipswich town...
44:52The Ipswich fans are so embarrassed.
44:54Like, even more so than Arsenal fans and Bin Laden supported us.
44:57Uh, Ipswich's rivals Norwich hit back with this cheeky post saying,
45:04Book a stadium tour of Carrow Road.
45:06Terms and conditions will most definitely apply.
45:09Uh, alright, we're about to end the show by celebrating the England women's deaf futsal team
45:13winning the European Championships.
45:14But before we do, would you please thank our guests, Charlotte Church.
45:20And Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
45:24And my co-host Josh Whittakam and Alex Brooker.
45:30We'll be back next week with comedian Josh Pugh, TV legend Lorraine Kelly and online sensation Steve Bracknell.
45:35But right now, it's time to celebrate the England women's, and I'm, yeah, do you know what,
45:39I'm going to put these on as well.
45:41The England women's deaf futsal team, who last weekend won the European Championships.
45:50Hit the music.
45:54It's coming home, it's coming home
45:58It's coming, console's coming home
46:02It's coming home, it's coming home
46:06It's coming, console's coming home
46:10Everyone seems to know the score
46:16We've heard it all before
46:19But not them, they were sure
46:23That England would just blow them away
46:28With a brilliant display, show them all how to play
46:32Cos they remembered three lines on a shirt
46:38Everybody cheering
46:40It takes twice the work
46:44To win with without your hearing
46:59It's coming home, it's coming home
47:04It's coming, console's coming home
47:08It's coming home, it's coming home
47:11It's coming, console's coming home
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