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00:05I wonder how much arse tattoos are.
00:08Hello, this is Joe and I'm doing the voiceover for this program about going on holiday on the cheek.
00:13Because like any normal person, I love a sweet arse bargain.
00:17It's free to get in. 10% off. Bargain.
00:20So with my friend, Katherine Ryan.
00:22Ah, Joe!
00:24Who loves the shinier things in life.
00:26We had taken the train to Paris just for dinner and back.
00:28I'm going to show you and her how you can have a top holiday for rock bottom prices.
00:35Are we allowed to be here? Are you squatting?
00:38I'm leaving very few stones unturned in my hunt to find a holiday deal.
00:41I know it's quite a long journey, like three hours, but I've got 10% off.
00:45And at one point I take my top off.
00:47Bargain, there'll be some sort of trigger warning.
00:50Cool, I am not blessed.
01:04That's going to need re-varnishing.
01:09This week I'm bringing Katherine on a rough and tumble lads break to Northern Ireland,
01:13starting in the lively city of Belfast.
01:16Cultured types might be drawn here to its rich history, its industrial heritage being the birthplace of the Titanic,
01:24and its stunning wild and rugged landscapes.
01:27But this is a lads break, so we don't give a hoot about any of that.
01:32We've come for its cheap and quirky accommodation, its variety of dangerous and thrilling activities,
01:39its eclectic nightlife, and of course it's the birthplace of the penalty kick.
01:44And we're off.
01:46Welcome to Belfast on our lads' holiday.
01:49Ooh, lads, lads, lads.
01:51This is fun.
01:53George West Airport.
01:54Who's that?
01:55Calo's dad.
01:56Oh!
01:57Yeah, you like him, don't you?
01:58Famous people's dads get airports?
02:00Yeah, and he's a footballer.
02:01Cool.
02:02Yeah.
02:02Draw down with that, you're all right?
02:03No, I'm all right.
02:04Yeah, you're all right.
02:06And nothing kicks off a lads' break in Northern Ireland like getting whittled on.
02:10Lads, lads, lads.
02:11Now we're having fun, aren't we, Katherine?
02:13Mm-hmm.
02:14The place I've booked for us to stay is a 50-minute car ride away in East Belfast,
02:19so fortunately we can dry our socks off from the taxi over.
02:22Hello, mate.
02:23Hello, how are you?
02:24How are you?
02:25Oh, it's horrible.
02:27Sorry I ran off.
02:28I just didn't want to mess my hair up.
02:30Well, thank you for inviting me on a lads' holiday.
02:32I haven't been invited on many of those.
02:34I couldn't think of anyone more lads-y.
02:36I guess I don't even know what a lads' holiday really is, just boys going somewhere?
02:40All about being dehydrated.
02:42All right.
02:44No.
02:44You must feel...
02:45All right.
02:46Ah.
02:47I really want some water, but you never drink water.
02:52It's about kind of, you know, making each other miserable but laughing along.
02:56So it's not actually fun?
02:58No, no, no.
02:59So it's like boarding school?
03:01Yeah.
03:01If you're tired and you want to go to bed, do not mention it.
03:05Right.
03:05If you're missing your family and you wish you'd never come, do not mention it.
03:10You grin and bear it.
03:12You bury it all down.
03:13It will be one of the worst experiences of your life.
03:18Joe!
03:19What?
03:20But it'll be cheap and Belfast is a lovely city.
03:24I know you're pregnant, but would you mind not eating healthy food this week?
03:30I can do that.
03:31Because it's kind of a laddie holiday and if you're having quinoa...
03:35What's the most laddish thing you've ever done?
03:38I was sick into a test tube.
03:41What?
03:42Yeah.
03:43I don't think that's a laddish joke.
03:44Oh, is it not?
03:45Sounds very dainty.
03:46What's the laddiest thing you've done?
03:48I got off with a taxi driver.
03:51You got off with a taxi driver?
03:52Do you always do that?
03:53No.
03:54Not always.
03:55Okay.
03:55I did it because I didn't have $7.
03:57Even us lads don't get that laddie.
04:02We're coming up to the accommodation as well.
04:04Well, the accommodation's here.
04:06It's nearly there.
04:07Wait.
04:08What kind of accommodation is it?
04:10It's boutique-y.
04:13Okay.
04:14Well, I'm going to trust you, Joe.
04:15You know, I'm always looking to learn more about bargains.
04:19So, we're going to turn in here now.
04:21This is going to take us into the area where George was born and lived in here.
04:26Oh!
04:26George busses from around here.
04:28Didn't know that.
04:30It's the fields here where George used to play football.
04:32Oh, wow.
04:33So, we've got George Best Airport, where George Best played football.
04:38Oh.
04:39Bit weird.
04:40Here we are.
04:42Joe.
04:43What do you mean here?
04:44There's no hotel here.
04:46Has there not?
04:48Oh, here we are.
04:50Come on.
04:51Joe.
04:51Joe!
04:52Are you sure this is it?
04:54Yes.
04:55What is this?
04:56This is George Best's old house.
04:57This is where George Best used to live when he was a little boy.
05:00Come on.
05:00We're staying here.
05:02Why don't we stay in one of the houses he lived in when he was rich?
05:04No.
05:06This is it.
05:07It's pretty cool.
05:07I'm having a great time.
05:08Are you?
05:09If I liked football, yes.
05:12Ah, yes.
05:14This is where the sporting icon and legendary god of football George Best lived throughout
05:18his childhood.
05:19This humble pad has three bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, kitchen, and that's right,
05:27even a garden.
05:28So it's like most houses in that respect really, but hey, I'm loving it.
05:32It's restored with the support of the best family and it's filled with books, pictures.
05:37Joe!
05:38This guy looks like you.
05:40And even an audio tour to help you learn all about his life.
05:48They have so many books about George Best.
05:51He only read books about himself, I believe.
05:54Ooh.
05:55There's more books of George Best in here.
05:57It's pretty cool in here, Joe.
05:59Do you like it?
06:00Yeah.
06:00I can see how if you liked football and you liked George Best.
06:03Do you like football?
06:04Yeah.
06:05Do you like George Best?
06:06Yeah.
06:06I'll tell you what I've learned about George Best since I walked in here.
06:09Hunk.
06:09Oh, famously.
06:10Dimples and a cleft chin?
06:13He's odd.
06:14Well, you know, we've both got something out of it.
06:16I like the fact he could kick a football really hard and you...
06:20like the D.
06:21And D means dick.
06:25History.
06:27As far back as I can remember, this room was just simply known as the living room.
06:31Just known as the living room?
06:33Light switch.
06:34Eight.
06:34Oh!
06:36Not spotted.
06:37As with most families, meals were eaten in the kitchen.
06:43Imagine cooking for a family of six children and your husband in here.
06:49Let's see if we don't have to imagine it.
06:51The one good thing about the cooker was the grill.
06:54Wow.
06:55Simple.
06:56What a tour.
06:57I love this audio tour.
07:02This is the most fun I've seen you ever have, Joe.
07:04He's giddy in the presence of George Best's young family.
07:09Joe.
07:10I said I wouldn't cry.
07:13I don't know if I would trust a lad's holiday staying in this pristine historical house.
07:20Yeah.
07:21We shouldn't be too laddy, should we?
07:22No.
07:23And if it's haunted, it'll only be haunted by the absolute hunk that is George Best.
07:28Bring it on.
07:29We'll find out which one might have the ghost in and you can have that one.
07:33Okay.
07:34Look, this is George's.
07:36Oh, he's so cute.
07:39There's a football kit in here.
07:41That's Manchester United's home kit.
07:44Was yellow.
07:45Yeah.
07:46When?
07:48Always.
07:48Still is.
07:49Well, that's cute.
07:50I didn't know that.
07:50I thought they were red.
07:51No, no.
07:51It's yellow.
07:52Oh, I like it.
07:55Joe, this is a lovely childhood home and I feel more of a lad for having been here.
08:00Well, I'm glad you like it.
08:01Which room do you want to sleep in?
08:03George Best's room.
08:04No, no.
08:05No, you have it.
08:06No, no, no.
08:06Joe, I'm sorry.
08:07I'm pregnant and my hormones just...
08:09No, you have it.
08:09I know.
08:10Well, you have it.
08:11No, I don't.
08:11Oh, you have it.
08:12I'll sleep in the sister's room.
08:14You, Joe, I want you to sleep in George Best's room.
08:18You put this kit on and you sleep in this room.
08:20Okay, so I'm going to have this one and you go and I'm going to have a little two minutes
08:24to sit up.
08:26I feel more attractive on this bit already.
08:29This unique self-catered accommodation sleeps up to five people and I only paid £75
08:35per night.
08:36Damn, girl!
08:37I booked directly through georgebesthouse.com and best of all, all the proceeds go to
08:42charity.
08:43This will be the first time that any good has ever come from a lads break, so that's
08:47something.
08:49You in bed?
08:51Yeah, are you in bed, Joe?
08:53Yeah.
08:54Are you still in your clothes?
08:56Well, obviously I put my nightdress on.
08:59But you're meant to sleep in your clothes.
09:01It's a lads holiday.
09:02Don't worry, Joe.
09:03We're still lads.
09:04Okay.
09:05Lads.
09:06Lads.
09:06Lads.
09:07Lads.
09:07Lads.
09:08Lads.
09:08Lads.
09:10Well, thank you for a lovely first day.
09:14Make sure you're nice and dehydrated for the morning.
09:18Okay.
09:18Goodnight, Joe.
09:19Goodnight.
09:20Have you turned your light off?
09:23Yep.
09:24I'm going to turn mine off now, but I'm a bit wary.
09:27Okay, Joe.
09:28I'm right down the hall if you feel too scared.
09:31I might put mine back on, actually.
09:33Sorry.
09:35Didn't like that at all.
09:36I'm going to sleep with the light on.
09:39You still awake?
09:41Yes, Joe.
09:42Do you want to sleep in here?
09:43Yes, please.
09:44Come on, Joe.
09:47It's really scary.
09:51Okay.
09:51That's better.
09:52Night, night.
09:53Goodnight, Joe.
09:54Whilst I try and fail to get some shut-eye in the house of one of the greatest footballers
09:59of all time, here's a top tip.
10:01If you actually like to be hydrated on holiday and love tea, why not bring your own favourite
10:07tea bags on holiday with you, so you can enjoy a brew whilst away.
10:11Is that a tip?
10:12It's more sort of stating the bleeding obvious.
10:25I've taken my old friend and life coach, Catherine Ryan, on a lad's break to Northern Ireland.
10:30It will be one of the worst experiences of your life.
10:35Joe!
10:37After a crap night's sleep in the family home of footballing royalty, George Best.
10:41Joe!
10:43I said I wouldn't cry.
10:44We're overtired, which is perfect for our second day of the lads' holiday.
10:50Northern Ireland was used to film the weird TV show, Game of Thrones.
10:55350,000 fans flock here every year to have a good stare at the place, so I've arranged
11:00for us to visit Winterfell Castle, based at the Castle Wall Estate.
11:05So here, this is where they filmed loads of Game of Thrones.
11:10Do you recognise this?
11:11No.
11:11This is the Incest Turret.
11:13Officially named?
11:15Dennis Walterman's character porked his sister and a child fell off.
11:19Is that the kind of thing lads want to see on a holiday?
11:22Well, you'd like to learn about it, yeah.
11:24Mmm.
11:24And we're going to do some archery.
11:26I know, I had a little peek in your book last night, hence my beautiful archery outfit.
11:31Wow.
11:32There's loads of Game of Thrones themed activities available here, and since I saved a wedge on
11:37the accommodation, I've been a bit flash and booked us one of the fancier experiences.
11:42Archery, costing £32.50 per hour.
11:46For this, you get access to Winterfell, archery instructions, and unfortunately, you get to
11:51wear a Game of Thrones style costume, and you look like a tit.
11:55So, I'll give you this here one.
11:56Okay, quick thing.
11:57Do we need character names?
11:58I would like my Game of Thrones name to be Lyia, because I'm on a mom and baby group chat,
12:04and this woman put, can you suggest a cool middle name to go with Lyia, L-I-Y-A?
12:09And I put pants on fire, and then I got kicked off.
12:13Lyia.
12:14Lyia.
12:14Lyia.
12:15And for yourself?
12:16Chuck Black Tackle.
12:18Wow!
12:18Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:20Can I change?
12:21It just felt right.
12:22Sir Chuck the Black Tackle, that is your weapon.
12:24You will line up right here for me, shooting into this target.
12:27I will.
12:28Lady Lyia, for you, this here one.
12:30I was reading about lads' holidays.
12:32Yeah.
12:33And you're meant to destroy people's things.
12:35One guy smeared poo on the walls.
12:37Oh, I know that guy.
12:38Is he called Ryan?
12:39Yeah, he was.
12:40Yeah.
12:40The experience begins with a quick practice before moving on to a tournament.
12:45I'm going to aim for the GoPro on the floor.
12:48Joe.
12:49Not mine.
12:51Yes!
12:52Wow!
12:55Yes!
12:56Wow!
12:58Joe!
12:59You are killing this.
13:01How expensive are GoPros?
13:02Turns out, I'm incredible.
13:06Oh!
13:07Yeah!
13:07Whoa!
13:08It's a satisfying...
13:10It's a lads feeling.
13:12And this is like a dick.
13:13It is like a Willy, isn't it?
13:15Here comes my Willy.
13:16What a Willy!
13:18You don't mind me shooting at your...
13:20Oh!
13:20You hit the wood bit!
13:22That's going to need revarnishing.
13:23You have three hours in front of you.
13:25We are going to have a competition.
13:26I want to see who is the best out of the two of you.
13:28Who is worthy of being part of the Stark army.
13:31Archers ready!
13:33Oh, broke wind.
13:34Knock!
13:34Oh Christ!
13:35Slow down!
13:36Hurry up!
13:37He runs an IT company.
13:38It's mental.
13:39Draw!
13:40What?
13:40Is that shoot or...
13:42Hold!
13:42I am holding.
13:43Please!
13:45Knock!
13:46What?
13:47Again?
13:47I hope you're not like this at the weekend.
13:49Hurry up!
13:50Hurry up!
13:51Hey!
13:51Nice!
13:52I know this is a lad's...
13:53Draw!
13:55This is too lad...
13:55This is too lad-y.
13:56If you would talk less, baby, you could shoot more!
13:58It's a very valid point.
14:00Nice!
14:01Oh, knickers.
14:02Mad!
14:03Excellent.
14:04Set your bows down.
14:04Honestly, that was...
14:06You can really turn.
14:07All right, let's see how you did.
14:09So...
14:10You've missed the target.
14:11Yeah.
14:12Therefore, this does not bode well for you.
14:14Whilst, Sir Black Tackle, you've landed one on the outer side.
14:18And therefore, I declare you my winner of this archery competition.
14:21No!
14:22And you have the right to decapitate Lady Lyra.
14:26Do you mind?
14:26No, no, no.
14:27I'm sorry about this.
14:29I feel terrible.
14:30Place your chin on the block.
14:32Okay.
14:33Sir Black Tackle.
14:34Yes, sir.
14:34Lift your sword.
14:35Yes.
14:37Ugh!
14:38Go on, King Arthur.
14:39You can do this.
14:41And now, I, Robert of House Stark, sentence you, Lady Lyra, to die for your terrible archery
14:47skills.
14:48Sir Black Tackle, deliver the sentence.
14:51Oh.
14:52Isn't it just easier to give me a different job?
14:54What if I just became, like, the town whore?
14:57I mean, if you want to do that, the brothel's right over there.
15:00How do you hostess?
15:02You're welcome.
15:03Now, get out of here.
15:04Yep.
15:05Sorry.
15:06We best move on to our next activity before Ronnie changes his mind.
15:11We've travelled to Castle Wellen Forest Park, a huge and beautiful park positioned between
15:17the Mourne Mountains and the sea.
15:19What a lovely position.
15:21The lads don't come for the views.
15:23No, no, no.
15:24But having already spunk today's activity budget on being yelled at by a man who's also
15:28a dental receptionist, I've found us a freebie.
15:32What are we doing, Joe?
15:33Right.
15:34We're going to the peace maze designed to commemorate the peace and reconciliation efforts of Northern
15:41Ireland in the past century.
15:43And it says here it's fucking massive.
15:46How much is it?
15:47Oh, it's free.
15:48Whoa!
15:49And these are so we don't get lost?
15:50Yeah.
15:51Good idea, Joe.
15:52Cool, isn't it?
15:52Yeah.
15:53We've got to be quick, though, because I've got a deal thing for Dindins.
15:57But I'll explain that later.
15:59But just get moving forward.
16:00What?
16:00So the deal depends on us being quick?
16:02No lads holiday would be complete without a maze, and this place has a belter.
16:06So Catherine and I have a quick race to see who can get out first.
16:09I bet it's me.
16:10I'm really quick.
16:11What kind of time are you aiming for?
16:12I sort of prefer it to be under four minutes.
16:15Let's go.
16:20Like Oscar Wilde said of golf, a maze is a lovely walk spoiled.
16:27God, I'm breaking wind, is it?
16:29I'm glad I'm not wearing any undies.
16:32Find your way through this maze or we don't get the dinner bargain.
16:35Oh, a hammer already just popped out.
16:37There's lots of kids crying.
16:41Oh, no.
16:46What the fuck?
16:47What's the way out?
16:49Outward.
16:50And?
16:51Follow me.
16:52I know.
16:52Yes!
16:54I'm not sure this is the way to celebrate the peace process by being incredibly frustrated.
17:01So now where?
17:03That's a dead end.
17:04I've given up.
17:06So much screaming.
17:08Oh, people.
17:10Follow me!
17:11Follow me!
17:12Well, you go in separate ways.
17:13Which one of you do I trust?
17:16Oh, day three.
17:18It's been 72 hours since I last saw a human.
17:22Hi.
17:22Are you lost?
17:23I am lost.
17:24I'm scared.
17:25Do you want me to lead you back?
17:26Yes, please.
17:27Okay.
17:30Never follow a group of boys down a dark alleyway, my mother said.
17:36Do you have any food on you?
17:37Yeah.
17:37I've lost over two stone in weight from sweating.
17:40Once we get out of here, we will get you some food.
17:43Oh.
17:45TV's Catherine Ryan of Stage and Screen.
17:47I'm famous but only for mums.
17:49Like, guys your age don't know me.
17:50I say naughty words so you shouldn't watch it.
17:54Have you got any friends with you?
17:56I've got one friend with me but I don't know where she is.
17:59I haven't seen her in hours.
18:00Oh, I see my friend's balloon.
18:07I have a helicopter company that might be able to come and get me.
18:10A helicopter?
18:10Yeah.
18:12Tell me who's going back.
18:13Oh!
18:14Burst my balloon.
18:15My one safety net's gone.
18:18Oh, you know what, boys?
18:19I think we're doing it.
18:20We're going up.
18:21This is it.
18:22If I can just jump that high and then maybe see.
18:26Oh, you did it.
18:28Well done, lads.
18:30I charge about 200 pounds an hour for babysitting.
18:33Until we meet again.
18:35Oh my gosh, this is...
18:36Are we out?
18:37Yes.
18:37Yes, we're here.
18:38Yes, yes.
18:41Yes!
18:42Yes!
18:42This is our way!
18:43Yes!
18:43Yes!
18:44Ah, Joe!
18:46Loser!
18:47Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser.
18:50Thank you very much.
18:52Thank you, Mrs. Henderson.
18:53How much time left till we lose the bargain?
18:55Not long.
18:57Okay, well, let's go.
18:58Come on, Joe.
18:59I need to decompress.
19:02After a long day full of activities, we freshen up and get James.
19:06Well, I don't.
19:06That's not what lads do.
19:07It's time for dinner.
19:09Come on, come on, come on.
19:12This is it?
19:13Oh!
19:15I've booked us into a restaurant in Belfast city centre called Benedict's, which not only
19:20has gorgeous decor...
19:21Sorry, that's not really lad, is it?
19:22But it really does.
19:24It also has sweet deals on food and drink.
19:28Oh, it's a lads holiday about running.
19:30Some of it.
19:31Some of it.
19:32Usually away from taxi drivers.
19:33What is with the stopwatch?
19:35We have to be here before seven and then you get loads of stuff for less money.
19:40Oh!
19:41Good evening, folks.
19:42Hi.
19:43I just popped these.
19:44Oh, lovely picnic.
19:46Can I get you some drinks to start off with?
19:48Yes, please.
19:48Oh, yes, lads.
19:49Lads, lads, lads, lads.
19:50Can I get four cheeky-teekies?
19:53Absolutely.
19:53Thank you very much.
19:54No problem.
19:55Just to let you know, folks, our Beat the Clock menu is running this evening as well.
19:58Oh, yes.
19:58Any of the menu items there with the orange clock beside them on the main courses will
20:02be seven pounds if ordered before seven.
20:04Shall I order for us?
20:05Oh, are we ready?
20:06Absolutely.
20:07Could we get one of all the before sevens, please?
20:10One of each?
20:11Yeah.
20:12Nine main courses altogether there?
20:14Joe, there's so many.
20:15He knows lads holiday.
20:17No problem.
20:17Thank you very much.
20:19I have a feeling I might need to give you a little bit more space here as well.
20:23Yes.
20:24Lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads.
20:27Here, guys.
20:28Whoa.
20:30Who was having the smoked cod?
20:33We're sharing our food.
20:34Perfect.
20:34We're doing a shared platter for you.
20:36Peppered chicken as well.
20:38Peppered chicken.
20:39Maltine.
20:39Also our peppered pork fillet.
20:41Peppered pork fillet.
20:43Signature Benedict's beef burger as well there, guys.
20:45Oh, but there.
20:46Yep, yep.
20:47100%.
20:48Chicken gougles.
20:49Oh, the gougles.
20:50Oh, here.
20:51Wonderful.
20:51Salted chilli chicken.
20:53Maybe there.
20:54No problem.
20:58Back on there, please, Chris.
21:01Your vegetarian fajitas and your chicken fajitas as well.
21:04Ooh.
21:04Thank you, Chris.
21:05No problem at all, guys.
21:06One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
21:09Is that everything?
21:09Is everything there, folks?
21:11That's everything.
21:12Just seems...
21:13No problem.
21:14Thanks, Chris.
21:14Thanks, mate.
21:15Enjoy, folks.
21:16Thanks, Chris.
21:17I think it's pretty common for people to order all of them.
21:20I think it becomes less of a deal when you order this much of it.
21:24Yeah, but we'll eat it also.
21:25So dinner on a lad's holiday isn't dinner unless it involves competition.
21:30Yeah, and bullying.
21:31And bullying.
21:32All right.
21:32Yeah.
21:33Has anyone said anything specifically hurtful to you on a lad's holiday, Josh?
21:36Yeah, yeah.
21:37There's a lot of chat about my legs.
21:41What's wrong with your legs?
21:42They're thin.
21:43I would love to have thin legs.
21:45And I laugh it off, like, I don't care.
21:47I really care.
21:48Yeah.
21:48OK.
21:50Well, I'm trying to be on the lad's holiday, so I'll zero in on that as an insecurity.
21:54Keep digging away with it.
21:55Mmm.
21:56Yeah.
21:57Keep ordering the cheeky-cheekies until you're absolutely legless.
22:00Yeah.
22:00Which you already are.
22:02Lad, lad, lad.
22:05I'm sorry.
22:08I'm quite full because I've had nearly two cheeky-cheeky-cheekies.
22:13Well, Cho, if you don't eat it, it's not a bargain.
22:15What are you doing?
22:17Check.
22:18Joe, you've not brought takeaway containers.
22:21No?
22:28Don't worry.
22:29Chris, he's cool.
22:31He's not going to say anything, Joe.
22:40The bill for this enormous feast came to roughly 90 quid, which is enough food and drink for nine hungry
22:46lads.
22:46Incredible value if you know eight people.
22:51Whilst I struggle to fill my Tupperware after several cheeky-cheekies, here's a travel tip.
22:57Eating out for breakfast, lunch and dinner can cost a fortune, so why not try packing dehydrated food in your
23:03luggage for a quick meal?
23:05They are as nice as they look.
23:07And if you don't like dry food, why not try adding water?
23:10Let's go.
23:11Let's go.
23:11Let's go.
23:20Let's go.
23:38Let's go.
23:51Let's go.
24:01Let's go.
24:04Let's go.
24:06Let's go.
24:06It's sick.
24:07Too laddy.
24:08I'll bring it down.
24:08I hate doing this, but you cannot come on any more lads holidays if you're going to be this confrontational.
24:14Yeah.
24:14Okay.
24:15I'm the wild card on the last holiday. I'm Ginger Rob.
24:17Yeah, Ginger Rob, who doesn't usually get invited.
24:20OK, so Maggie Mays is, like, a bargain because the food is massive.
24:24Yeah.
24:25And that's good because we are not eating for the rest of the day.
24:29So stock up.
24:31I've ordered us two bumper fries for £6.50 each,
24:35which includes two eggs, two bacon, two sausages,
24:38soda bread, hash browns, potato bread and chips.
24:41That's right, and chips.
24:42They give you a bowl of chips.
24:47I think I love her.
24:48She brought chips.
24:49I know, she brought chips and hash browns.
24:51That's, like, chips twice.
24:52What I love about Maggie Mays breakfast
24:55is you have to eat it with your fingers.
24:58No, we have cutlery.
24:59Oh, do we?
24:59Oh, I assume...
25:01One knife between us.
25:02Oh, no, you go first.
25:04We might have to call your girlfriend back and ask for some cutlery.
25:07May I...?
25:08No, I'm going to go in with my fingers,
25:10like the old-fashioned way.
25:12Mmm.
25:12It's funny, the food that counts as finger food,
25:15and some is, some's not.
25:17But also...
25:20Whoa, no, no, no.
25:21I ordered this before because I can't eat like this all the time, Joe.
25:25And they have really healthy things, too.
25:26Vegan options.
25:28Mmm.
25:28Mm-hmm.
25:29What's the point?
25:30Well, because everything's brown.
25:33Where's the nutritional value in that?
25:35Nuts.
25:36I can't even look at you right now.
25:38I'm sorry.
25:39I can't even look at you.
25:39I can't even look at you.
25:42I try, Joe.
25:44I stay...
25:45You're trying?
25:45I stay in...
25:46I stay in the budget places because I'm trying to learn from you, but it's a...
25:49Well, all I'm saying is this...
25:51Process.
25:51This is one massive step backwards.
25:54Perfect.
25:56Perfect for a lad's holiday.
26:00That's my smoothie.
26:05Sorry?
26:06I'll cancel the smoothie.
26:08You need to cancel the smoothie.
26:11Yes.
26:12It's really nice.
26:14Do you want to try and just...
26:14No, I don't.
26:16I will in a couple of days because I love that stuff.
26:20With our friendship hanging by a thread, we head 40 minutes up the road to the coastal
26:25village of Ballygally, pronounced Ballygally.
26:27The perfect place for us to not talk about our feelings like you do on the lad's holiday.
26:32Never talk about your feelings.
26:35Northern Ireland has 31 beaches and a gnarly, rugged and beautiful coastline.
26:40Here you can do wild and laddy activities including diving for shipwrecks, surfing and the laddiest
26:46of them all, strolling on the beach, almost holding hands.
26:51What's special about Ballygally?
26:52Why have we come here?
26:53Well, I'll tell you why I'm coming to Ballygally.
26:55There's a polar bear.
26:56Polar bear?
26:57Yeah.
26:57It's not cold enough for a polar bear, Joe.
27:00There's a polar bear.
27:01I'll bet you 60p there's a polar bear.
27:04All right.
27:04Yeah?
27:04Are you sure?
27:05Like a real polar bear?
27:06Shh, no words.
27:07That's not safe.
27:09Polar bears are very violent.
27:11Ooh, kick that.
27:12I'll give you another 60p.
27:13Oh, we can't.
27:13Like a child.
27:14Kick it over for 60p.
27:15Wonderful.
27:17Yeah.
27:17Ooh, it's a pretty rock.
27:18Lads!
27:19Lads!
27:20Lads!
27:20Lads!
27:21Lads!
27:21Lads!
27:22Lads!
27:22Lads!
27:22God, that felt good.
27:24Oh, God, that felt good.
27:25I feel terrible about that.
27:27I'm having a massive comedown from that.
27:29It's all right, Joe.
27:30We could form a folk band.
27:32We look like one.
27:33Oh, I'd love that.
27:34We could sing.
27:34He is handsome, she is pretty, they are the bells of Belfast City.
27:38She is 14, one, two, three, please tell me who is she?
27:41That just costs the production 50 grand.
27:43Let me sing in that.
27:43I know you can't use it, but just do a long bleep over it.
27:47Should we go and see a polar bear?
27:49I'm scared.
27:51She's as nice as apple pie.
27:53She'll be a little lion, but when she meets a lot of her own, she goes home.
28:00Where's this bear?
28:02There's the bugger.
28:04Oh!
28:05It's sort of not real.
28:07The polar bear of Ballygalley is a much-loved local attraction, which has been around since
28:12the 1960s.
28:14Over the years, its adorable face has changed appearances many times, unlike Catherine's,
28:19apparently, which she tells me has never and will never change.
28:26Guess how it gets there.
28:28Banksy.
28:29No one knows.
28:30No one knows where the bear comes from.
28:32Yeah.
28:33It's like a mystery.
28:34I think someone paints it.
28:36And it's perfect for a mousie.
28:38Oh, yeah.
28:39Let's do a mousie.
28:40Yeah, she'll do a mousie.
28:40Mousies, a selfie's taken from the angle of a mouse, and they are all the rage with young
28:45people, and I should know because I'm young and I invented it.
28:48Whatever.
28:49Time for the mouse.
28:49You ready?
28:50You get in position.
28:50No, you get in your position.
28:51I'll press because I'm nimble.
28:53You?
28:53I'm more nimble than you will ever know.
28:56Seven.
28:56Oh, God.
28:57That's so...
28:57Six.
28:58Five.
28:59Four.
29:00Three.
29:01I'm in the way of it.
29:02Two.
29:02I'm in the way of it.
29:03Oh, my arse is covering it.
29:08Oh, no.
29:09Oh, wow.
29:11That was so much fun.
29:12I like the polar bear.
29:13Where do we go from there?
29:15Being constantly frightened is a big part of any good lad's holiday, so luckily we're just
29:21three minutes away from the supposedly haunted Ballycally Castle, where I've arranged a spot
29:26of ghost hunting.
29:27Oh, it's...
29:29Shoot the bear.
29:31Northern Ireland is a paranormal hotspot and has over 135 venues like this with ghostly
29:38activities.
29:38Is this all horse shit?
29:40Paranormal investigations are held here by KJ Hauntings and cost £35 for a whopping
29:46five hours of squeaky bum time, and you get a free takeaway dinner thrown in.
29:50Five hours is way too long.
29:53Hello.
29:55Hey.
29:56Hiya.
30:04Nice.
30:06I do not like that.
30:07Very creepy joke.
30:09Well done.
30:10Hi, guys.
30:11Hi.
30:12I'm Jason, and this is Kim.
30:14Hello.
30:14Please don't hurt me.
30:15I'll breathe like a peach.
30:17Have you heard of the history of this building?
30:18Tell us.
30:19No, tell us.
30:20So Ballycally Castle was built in the 1600s by James Shaw and Lady Isabella Shaw, who was
30:28his wife.
30:30And like most men of the time, James Shaw wanted a son as his heir.
30:35Unfortunately for Lady Isabella, she birthed him a daughter.
30:40There's rumours that James Shaw took the child away, locked Lady Isabella up in the ghost
30:48room, but she fell to her death out one of the windows up there.
30:52And there are varying stories.
30:54That's what we're going to do tonight is try and find out, did she fall?
30:58Was she pushed?
31:00Or did she jump?
31:02We have brought some equipment with us.
31:05These are cat toys.
31:06It's said that spirits can use their energy to set them off.
31:10Oh, God.
31:10So they'll light up.
31:12Ghost cats!
31:15What are these?
31:16So those are just regular headphones.
31:18Sure.
31:18I thought they were spiritual.
31:21The spirit box.
31:22Oh, yeah.
31:22The spirit box.
31:23The spirit box.
31:24Whoa, whoa, whoa.
31:25The headphones connects to that.
31:27And it is like pre-programmed phonetical sounds that ghosts can form words and sentences
31:34out of all these kind of as and who's and who's.
31:37Like Stephen Hawking.
31:38Yeah.
31:40Maybe we will hear from him tonight.
31:42You never know.
31:43Having all agreed that I've got the least to lose, I volunteered to be the one to communicate
31:47with the spirit of Lady Isabella using something called the Estes method.
31:52Headphones are connected to the spirit box app, which should allow me to hear the sounds
31:56of any spirits nearby, which is definitely not horseshit.
31:59On a normal lab's holiday, someone would now punch me in the plums.
32:02Yeah.
32:03Oh, lads, lads, lads, lads.
32:06I'll also be wearing noise-cancelling headphones to stop me hearing the questions that Catherine
32:11will be asking me.
32:12This all seems very above board and not nonsense at all.
32:16Lady Isabella, is there anything that you would like to say?
32:19Kid.
32:20It said kid.
32:21That's very relevant.
32:23Dead!
32:24It said dead!
32:26It said not happy.
32:28I think it said piss off, but I can't be sure.
32:31What's your name?
32:33Isabella?
32:35Oh!
32:36Bugger me!
32:38Why are you squeezing my hand and freaking me out?
32:40It's OK.
32:41Me?
32:42What have I done?
32:43Just having like someone trumped.
32:45Sit.
32:47Do you want to tell us how you passed away?
32:49Was it an accident?
32:50Hicked.
32:51Maybe James Shaw killed her with blunt force trauma.
32:55Yeah, he hit her.
32:56I believe your husband killed you because I watch a lot of documentaries.
33:01Come back?
33:02That was the clearest one.
33:04What the buggering hell was that?
33:06Soup.
33:07Baby, go here for soup.
33:09I'm really nice to you.
33:10Go here for soup.
33:12I did have soup in the hotel.
33:13What's go here for soup, baby?
33:15Baby, go here for soup.
33:17It was leek, broccoli, potato.
33:20They had gluten-free bread as well and butter.
33:23Lovely.
33:24Ah, baby, go here for soup.
33:27Baby, go here for soup.
33:29Keep saying, baby, go here for soup.
33:32Here, here.
33:33Baby, go here for soup.
33:35Soup.
33:37What was in the soup?
33:38I'm in it.
33:39Beef.
33:40Baby, go here for soup.
33:42Maybe tomorrow's soup is beef and she wants you to come.
33:46She likes Joe.
33:47She's just having a chat with Joe.
33:48Ping pong.
33:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:50Okay.
33:51Do you like Joe?
33:53Oh.
33:54She might possibly have a little thing for Joe.
33:57Isabella, we're going to take this off Joe now, so we're going to say goodbye.
34:01Yeah.
34:01But feel free to communicate with us.
34:03Oh, is that okay?
34:04Okay.
34:05Thank you for being so nice to you.
34:07Oh.
34:10Well done, Joe.
34:11Well done.
34:12That was very good.
34:13I think we've come to the conclusion that Lady Isabella Shaw was murdered.
34:19Well, that was a roller coaster.
34:20Yeah.
34:21Did any of it make sense?
34:22Yeah.
34:23Yeah.
34:23It all did.
34:23She liked you.
34:24We said, do you like Joey?
34:25Yeah.
34:26Yeah.
34:26And then you made like a weird noise.
34:28It sounded a wee bit like maybe she fancied you.
34:30Woo!
34:31Lads, lads, lads, lads, lads.
34:34You know, I think she deserves a rebound.
34:37Yeah.
34:37The bar's quite low.
34:39No.
34:39I'm not going to throw you out of a window.
34:41That's one of my key attributes.
34:43That's what they all say.
34:44Yeah.
34:45Well.
34:45Maybe we should leave you up here by yourself.
34:47Yeah.
34:48Do you guys want to head off and I'm just going to chill out here for a bit?
34:51Are you okay with that?
34:52Yeah.
34:52I'll be fine.
34:52Yeah, let's give you a minute with Isabella.
34:54Yeah.
34:54We'll leave you with all the bases.
34:56Yeah, leave the paraphernalia.
34:57Yeah, leave them on.
34:57Leave me with the toys.
34:59Give me 15 minutes.
35:01That's quick.
35:02Yeah.
35:03See you in a bit.
35:04Isabelle, if you fancy a, you know what, like the little cat thing move.
35:13Ooh, sweet potato pie.
35:16Calm down, Isabelle.
35:19You filthy bitch.
35:24Whilst I try and keep Isabella's spirit out of my drawers, here's a travel tip.
35:29If you pack more than one pair of pants for your holidays, you should try out packing cubes.
35:35This will compress your luggage, save valuable space and...
35:39Oh, that's it.
35:40I wonder if the inventor of the packing cube is proud of themselves.
35:43I very much doubt it.
35:53It's the final day of our lads' break in Northern Ireland with my birthing partner, Catherine Ryan.
35:58It's been a real test on our friendship.
36:01They have really healthy things too, vegan options.
36:04Perfect.
36:05Perfect for a lads' holiday.
36:06But isn't that what lads' holidays are all about?
36:09Who cares?
36:10I found a new chum slash f*** buddy anyway.
36:13So I did a wee bit like maybe she fancied you.
36:14Ooh, lads, lads, lads.
36:17For the last part of our lads' escapade, we've headed west to the island town of Enniskilling,
36:23famous for being the friendliest town in the UK.
36:26We'll soon put that to the test.
36:28That's me.
36:29I've arranged a morning doing some water sports, but I don't know how many times we're going
36:33to have to explain to Catherine that doesn't always mean weeing on someone.
36:38I was going to give you some facts.
36:40All right.
36:41Er, Enniskilling is famous for...
36:46I don't know, it's just...
36:49That's it.
36:50Just doesn't have anything.
36:51Enniskilling, Furgmanaharsk.
36:54Largest town sits at the heart of the county, straddling the river urn.
36:58What a slut!
37:00This town's slutty.
37:02I've chosen for us to hire an electric water scooter and a hydro bike,
37:06setting us back £45 for one hour on or in the water.
37:10After donning some of the best buoyancy aids I've ever come across,
37:14it's time to take to the water.
37:16Oh, is that one right?
37:17This is us down here, if you want to follow.
37:19By the way, this is on water.
37:21Cool.
37:22Hold on to the handles.
37:25Perfect.
37:26OK.
37:27And a few.
37:28Oh, I hate sports!
37:31I'm on the stable one.
37:34Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
37:35Let's go this way, Joe, under the bridge.
37:37You love a bit of exercise, don't you?
37:39Not really.
37:41Oh, there's the castle.
37:42Where?
37:43Oh, yeah.
37:43It's one of the worst castles I've seen.
37:45What do you mean?
37:45It's wonderful.
37:47Dinky.
37:49Who travels along the water, bolt upright?
37:52Jesus travels this way, Joe.
37:54Jesus, that's who.
37:55We should do, like, jousting.
37:57Let me turn around and I'll plough into you.
38:00Oh!
38:01OK, I'll joust with the camera boat.
38:03Here we go.
38:05Bernie, come here, you bugger.
38:08Here we go.
38:09See what happens.
38:11Oh!
38:12Oh, good lord.
38:13Sorry about that.
38:14He stopped there.
38:15There you go, Joe.
38:15You're an absolute lad for that.
38:17I get overexcited.
38:19Oh, I feel bad.
38:22God, that skilling's great.
38:24I never knew I liked activities so much.
38:27I like watching someone do an activity where they never bend their legs.
38:32Having maybe overladded myself this time, I've been asked by production to dial things down a lot.
38:37So, sorry, guys.
38:38So, it's been quite a laddy lad's holiday.
38:41Oh, yeah.
38:41And it's coming near the end, so I thought I'd do something a bit more girly for you.
38:45Really?
38:46Yeah.
38:47If you come in here, a little bit more, a little bit more girly.
38:49OK.
38:52Keep coming up.
38:53OK.
38:53Round to the left.
38:54It's hard to walk upstairs with your eyes closed, Joe.
38:56Round to the...
38:57Keep going.
38:58Get in.
39:00And open your eyes.
39:02Ta-da!
39:05It's a barbershop.
39:06It's a barbershop and a railway museum.
39:08What?
39:09Yeah!
39:10Headhunters is the world's only railway museum and barbershop.
39:14The best ideas are always the simplest.
39:17It was set up in 2002 by brothers Nigel and Gordon Johnson.
39:22Corkin' names, lads.
39:24This free attraction was their way of combining their two loves, trains and hair.
39:29If you time it right like we did, you might be lucky enough to get a free tour.
39:33Yes, please, Gordon and Nigel.
39:34Is this for changing tracks when you...
39:37Yes, this is for changing points.
39:39You want to try?
39:40What's it called?
39:41It's called a coffee.
39:41Oh, come on.
39:42It's all very Roadrunner and coyote, isn't it?
39:46Yeah.
39:47And their piano falls from the sky.
39:49Oh.
39:50And he's flattened, yes.
39:51Yes.
39:52I think I have something in here that will really interest both of you.
39:56A bicycle with a difference.
39:59A permanent way bicycle, which fitted on the railway tracks.
40:03Wow.
40:03So, why don't you try and get on?
40:05Here, Joe, maybe you should wear one of these.
40:07Is that okay if I put a hand on?
40:07Yes, that's okay.
40:10This is the best holiday ever.
40:11This mightn't be ladylike getting on this.
40:13Well, I don't really look like someone who keeps their legs together at the minute.
40:16The only advantage when it was on the track, it was easy enough to cycle.
40:20Lads, lads, lads, lads.
40:21Lads, lads, lads, lads.
40:22Joe, maybe while we're here, you can get a big boy's haircut.
40:24I'm not ready for that, no.
40:25No?
40:26No.
40:27I tried.
40:27Yes.
40:28And we have another little surprise for you.
40:31Wow.
40:32Follow me.
40:33Oh, my gosh.
40:34Oh, I'm home.
40:37Oh, Joe.
40:39Oh, wow.
40:42Do you want to go inside, Joe?
40:44Yes, please.
40:45Oh, where's the smoke coming from?
40:47Oh, look.
40:48It's steam.
40:49Look.
40:50Little people in it.
40:51We can even show you what it's like in the dark.
40:54Yeah, let's turn out the lights.
40:55What?
40:56Oh!
40:58Oh, yes.
41:00Okay, it got better.
41:02It actually got better.
41:03Look, have you got lights inside the train?
41:05Yeah, I know there's people in there.
41:06This one's flickering.
41:07Oh, they're having a party.
41:09I'm going to have to be forcibly removed.
41:11Should we take a mousie?
41:13Yes.
41:13Oh, my God.
41:14I think this could be the best mousie ever.
41:16Four.
41:17Oh, my God, it's going to work.
41:18Three.
41:18Hurry, hurry.
41:19Two.
41:19One.
41:21I think we did it.
41:24It's perfection.
41:25Oh, thank you.
41:26Well, look, I'm ready to have a haircut.
41:29All right.
41:30I'm going to have a big boy haircut.
41:31Wow, Charles.
41:31That's a big step.
41:33Amazing.
41:34Wow, wow, wow, wow.
41:36Oh.
41:38Oh, no.
41:40Keep it on.
41:41We'll cut round it.
41:42Well, you work round it.
41:45I've been on you all the days.
41:47Yes.
41:48Where'd you go?
41:49Up Cranfield.
41:50Did you?
41:51I went Corfu.
41:53Corfu, yeah.
41:54Hot.
41:55Yeah.
41:55You see the football?
41:56Yes, some good football.
41:57Yeah, good football.
42:01You've been on you all the days.
42:03Done that one, sorry.
42:04Yes.
42:05Ta-da!
42:08You look exactly the same.
42:09Oh, shut up.
42:10No, I don't.
42:11I feel like this is a really good job.
42:13I feel like Kate Moss or something.
42:14Even better, it's time to finish the lad's holiday
42:16and go home and be a mother to my family.
42:18Oh, fools.
42:20Let's do one last fun thing.
42:21Yeah, come on.
42:23Fairly well in a skillet.
42:25Fairly well for a while.
42:28Now dangerously dehydrated, it's time to wrap up our lad's holiday.
42:33But as a last swan song, I've planned a night
42:36in one of the most famous pubs in Northern Ireland.
42:39Well, there's only one way to end a lad's holiday, in my opinion.
42:44Oh!
42:45And that's in the oldest thatched pub in Northern Ireland.
42:50Yes, Joe, love a pub.
42:52It's really beautiful.
42:53It's good, isn't it?
42:54Facts.
42:54Facts.
42:55Oldest pub I've ever done that one.
42:56It's thatched by Liam Neeson's cousin, blah, blah, blah.
43:01Thatched by Liam Neeson's cousin?
43:03Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
43:04This guy has a special set of skills.
43:06He's not afraid to use them.
43:07Those skills are thatchery.
43:09Thatchery.
43:10And apparently, he's a spitting image of him.
43:13Maybe he'll be in.
43:15Your job is to spot him and get off with him.
43:18No problem.
43:19After you.
43:20I love this place I've wrecked.
43:22It's cool, isn't it?
43:23We've had an absolute riot on our lad's holiday to Northern Ireland, costing us roughly £270
43:30each for our digs, activities and food.
43:34That doesn't include the price of the GoPro I destroyed during archery.
43:38Don't you dare deduct that for my fee, Michael.
43:40If you want to have a trip like ours, here's some tips.
43:43Early bird deals and happy hours are a great way to save on meals.
43:47Check out the local foodies on social media to help find them.
43:52Websites like Airbnb are great for finding unusual accommodation, but if you can book
43:57directly with the owner, you'll save yourself up to 30%.
44:00And if you like obscure tourist attractions like the polar bear, check out the Atlas Obscura
44:05website to find more hidden gems.
44:12Ah, Joe.
44:13You thought you could look at that.
44:15Look at us now.
44:16Lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads.
44:18I slagged my toe.
44:19Oh, no, I'm sorry.
44:20All right.
44:20Ah, cheers.
44:24Put your finger in it.
44:26Looks nice.
44:28I got you a gift to say thank you for coming with me.
44:33What could it be?
44:35It feels wet.
44:37What is it?
44:39Oh, no.
44:40What?
44:42I got you a bag of sausages.
44:44Thanks.
44:45I got them in the place we had the breakfast a few days ago.
44:48Okay.
44:49Thanks, Joe.
44:51What an unsettling gift.
44:53You're welcome.
44:55I got you a present as well.
44:57Is it sausages?
45:00Is this what I think is?
45:03Because I'm, like, really good on the water,
45:05so I'm like a captive.
45:06It really suits you.
45:08Cheers.
45:09Cheers.
45:09I feel bad I got you a drink that you can't drink.
45:11Do you want me to put half of my Guinness in your lager?
45:14Because I feel like that's a special drink.
45:16Go on, then.
45:17All right.
45:18I'm going to try to layer it.
45:20I think one is supposed to sit on top of the other.
45:23Oh, it's gone badly.
45:25Okay.
45:27Is it nice?
45:28Undrinkable.
45:29No.
45:30Never mind.
45:32Have you had a nice time, Joe?
45:33I've had a lovely time.
45:34But I had to say my favourite thing would be archery.
45:37I think the most laddish thing that we did was when you got off with the ghost.
45:42Oh, yeah, yeah.
45:43I did more than that.
45:47She was filth.
45:54What's that now?
46:01Who are they?
46:02Who are the chosen?
46:04Is there star playing music?
46:28Here's to a wonderful holiday.
46:30Cheers.
46:31Cheers, Joe.
46:53Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!
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