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00:00Salt and pepper!
00:03Four sets of holiday hosts.
00:05Ooh, actually it's not too much.
00:07Check in to each other's places.
00:09Morning.
00:10Welcome to Impossible Motel.
00:12And get to grips with one another.
00:14It was disgusting.
00:15I definitely don't think the place is disgusting.
00:19Today, everyone has a belting time.
00:21Go on, Dan.
00:22Oh, wow.
00:23Punch him out, punch him out.
00:25As they battle.
00:26I'm sure we can deal with that on payment day.
00:29Yeah, I'm sure we certainly can.
00:31To be named best value for money.
00:33I think those comments were just a little bit too nitpicky.
00:36There's a lot of game playing going on here.
00:44The final visit of the week is to Southport in Lancashire
00:47and to Beach Suites, owned by Dan Thomas, who's full of fighting talk.
00:53I started martial arts when I was ten years of age.
00:56Martial arts isn't just about punching and kicking.
00:58It's about the respect, the focus, perseverance and dedication
01:03that's been key to building up this hospitality business.
01:07Guests can taekwon go for one of six self-catering suites
01:11for up to £81 a night based on a two-night minimum stay.
01:15And meet a host who believes you get bang for your buck.
01:19Having a staycation in the UK can be very expensive,
01:23so we've set our prices at a very reasonable amount.
01:27We've got great facilities, a great location,
01:29and I think that makes an ideal place to visit.
01:33And when it comes to the competition,
01:35Dan thinks he can wipe out his opponents.
01:37Cleanliness is absolutely essential and we pride ourselves
01:43on having the absolute utmost quality in cleanliness.
01:48About to arrive are today's first guests.
01:51It's been a very long time since we've come to Southport Beach.
01:54We do like a seat from Bob Dover.
01:56Yeah.
01:57Sunset and waves.
01:58I'm ready for it.
02:01Tiding things over are Uzi Hussain and Bobsy Riaz
02:05of Optimal Apartments in Bradford, West Yorkshire.
02:08Previously over drinks...
02:10Cheers!
02:11Dan talked tariffs.
02:13The price point is lower than each and every one of you's.
02:17Is it one of them budget walls?
02:18Would you be offended if it was?
02:19If it was, yes, I would, to be honest with you.
02:23But today, Uzi and Bobsy aren't bulking at going back to basics.
02:28With Dan's place, Bobby, I'm thinking...
02:31Nothing fancy.
02:32Nothing fancy.
02:33I just hope it's going to be a value for money.
02:35Yeah.
02:35Bring the deal.
02:39Nice Victorian terrace.
02:41Yeah.
02:41Shall we go check it out?
02:42Let's go.
02:45Good morning, Dan.
02:46Morning, guys.
02:47Welcome to Beach Suites.
02:48You guys would be staying in Street 4.
02:50It's £81 per night based upon a minimum stay of two nights.
02:54It is self-catering accommodation,
02:56so we do have a communal kitchen.
02:58Follow me.
02:58Fantastic.
03:01Mmm.
03:02Small, but you can expect that for £80 per night.
03:05Yeah.
03:05Let's have a look around.
03:07With Uzi and Bobsy up to their eyeballs,
03:10today's next guests are sanding down.
03:13I've never been to Southport, I don't think.
03:15I used to come to Southport every year.
03:17Get your speedo's, wouldn't he?
03:18Dan's definitely a speedo guy, isn't he?
03:20Yeah, he's definitely a speedo guy.
03:22Wearing with pride water.
03:23Oh, yeah.
03:25Smuggling budgies are couple Shauna O'Brien and Sam Westworth
03:29of Wonderland Retreat's Luxury Glamping in Carnforth, Lancashire.
03:33At the start of the week when they hosted...
03:36Hi.
03:37I'm Shauna.
03:37I'm Sam.
03:39Uzi and Bobsy dished the dirt.
03:41There's a hair there.
03:42Well, that shouldn't be there.
03:44Oh, my dears.
03:45That is disgusting, Bob.
03:47So, come feedback, their cleanliness score did not sparkle.
03:52Six.
03:53I agree.
03:54Wow.
03:55Marking us down at six is disgusting.
03:58But when Shauna and Sam rolled into theirs...
04:01Good morning, guys.
04:02Morning.
04:03The shoe was on the other foot.
04:06Some dirt up there, isn't there?
04:09Oh, my gosh.
04:10Plaster dust.
04:12Laminate floor.
04:13Cheap.
04:14Leaving the couple keen to walk away.
04:17See, it's going to have to be a no.
04:18It's not really for us, is it?
04:20Tit for tell.
04:21Absolutely.
04:22Makes me laugh.
04:23And today, Shauna and Sam still have one set of hosts in their sights.
04:28I really do think Ozzy and Bobby are playing a massive game.
04:32Good luck to Dan is all I'm going to say, because, wow, I wouldn't want to be him today.
04:39Good morning, guys.
04:41Welcome to Beach Suites.
04:42You guys will be staying in suite one.
04:44It's £81 per night.
04:46Please come in.
04:47Thank you, George.
04:52Well, here we are.
04:54Looks...
04:54First impressions all right, to be fair.
04:55Yeah.
04:56It looks reasonable, doesn't it, for the price.
04:57With Shauna and Sam counting the cost, today's final guest is ready to be baited.
05:04I'm an unusual fish that goes with the flow, let's see if Dan manages to reel me in.
05:10Quite the catch is Nick Davies of Impossible Motel in York, North Yorkshire.
05:15When he hosted last time...
05:17Morning.
05:18Welcome to Impossible Motel.
05:20The accommodation initially styled it out.
05:24Wow.
05:25Amazing.
05:26It's impressive, Bob.
05:28What a cool little pad.
05:30But soon, all were raising objections.
05:33I'm just concerned I'm going to bang my head as soon as I get out the bath.
05:36Look at that.
05:37It's all marked.
05:38Can't be charging top whack when it needs replacing.
05:41Dusty Pillow all marks like bits on it.
05:44And he wants us to play 3-10.
05:45Is he having us on?
05:47So, come feedback, everyone voted with their feet.
05:51For me, it's a no.
05:52It's going to be a big no.
05:54It's going to have to be a no, innit?
05:55Yeah.
05:56That's a no.
05:58Well, that's disappointing.
06:01But today, Nick's letting bygones be bygones.
06:05I'm looking forward to seeing everybody today.
06:07I hope everyone's in good spirits.
06:09And I'm very much looking forward to seeing Dan's special place.
06:15Ah, good morning, Nick.
06:17Morning, Dan.
06:17Welcome to Beach Suites.
06:19You'll be staying in suite number two.
06:21The price is £81 per night.
06:22Please come in.
06:26Ooh.
06:27Ooh.
06:28Cozy.
06:29Well done, Dan.
06:31With the host out of the way, the guests can find out if Beach Suites is golden.
06:36I like the little back.
06:38That's kind of fun and jolly.
06:40Protector on the pillows, which is good.
06:43They look clean.
06:45It's nice and comfy, innit?
06:46Yeah.
06:47Nice and clean up here.
06:49Oh, no.
06:50Oh, my dears.
06:51Yeah, it's stained.
06:52Yeah, yeah, it's stained.
06:54Mirror.
06:55Very clean.
06:57Ooh.
06:57Oh, it's dirty.
06:58Got a lot of dust inside it.
07:00There actually is a cobweb on that light.
07:02I found a stain on the yellow pillows.
07:05I've got one on this one as well.
07:07Soft pillow.
07:08They're all nice and clean.
07:10I've found a long piece of hair on the cushion.
07:14Dusty up here.
07:16Oh, no.
07:17Oh, it's been missed, hasn't it?
07:18This door, it's not got the finished paint on it.
07:21It's just an undercoat.
07:24That's worn out.
07:25A bit of a security issue.
07:27A cobweb there.
07:28Cleanliness needs to be top of your priorities.
07:31Fingerprint marks on it.
07:32It's got a bit of, like, rusty marks inside there.
07:34Three hairs on the bed.
07:35I think the final check was missing, potentially.
07:39It was.
07:39That mug's for you.
07:40Dirty kettle.
07:41Dirty cub.
07:42There's definitely an issue with dusting in this room.
07:46Oh, my dears.
07:47Time for space here.
07:48A sink on top of a toilet.
07:49That's disgusting.
07:51Room inspection's almost over.
07:53Nick's buzzing.
07:55And today is going to be a beautiful day.
08:01Sean and Sam are having a honk.
08:03Just a bit funky smelling it.
08:05Smells like mould.
08:06And Uzi and Bobsy aren't sitting comfortably.
08:10I just hope you don't slide off the toilet seat.
08:20Southport was the birthplace of comedian Lee Mack back in 1968.
08:24And today, host Dan hopes his guests will have their wits about them during a martial arts session at the
08:31school he owns.
08:32I'm looking forward to a scrap with Dan.
08:34Are you?
08:34Yeah.
08:35I reckon I'll do him.
08:37With everyone kitted up, host turned instructor Dan is ready to kick things off.
08:45Go on, Dan.
08:46Oh, wow.
08:47Oh, yeah.
08:48Punch him out.
08:48Punch him out.
08:49So, guys, welcome to my martial arts academy.
08:51This is what I do.
08:52This is what I love to do.
08:53I used to fight for the Irish national team.
08:55So, you'll have no problem chucking people out of your accommodation, then?
09:00No problems whatsoever.
09:02First up, Dan puts the boys through their paces.
09:06Nice high knee.
09:07Body up straight.
09:08And we're going to kick out.
09:09And we're going to show hi-yah.
09:10One.
09:11Yeah.
09:12Two.
09:13Yeah.
09:14Woo.
09:15Three.
09:16Yeah.
09:17Go on, Nick.
09:18Yeah.
09:20Good shout.
09:21One.
09:22Yeah.
09:23You're about to fall over, aren't you?
09:24I know.
09:25What a weak knee.
09:27You could do this, Shana, couldn't you?
09:28No.
09:29I'm saving my fight for Payment Day.
09:30Ooh.
09:35With Sam and Shana and us guys, it's a competition.
09:38Some people can take it personal.
09:39But we, as business people, professionals and professionals,
09:43will always be very fair.
09:45Payment Day is going to be a juicy one.
09:48I can't wait.
09:50Next, the host has another trick to make his class a hit.
09:54On it, go.
09:55Yes.
09:56Help.
09:56On it, go.
09:57Nice.
09:58Help.
09:58But it seems Nick's been pummeled by previous feedback.
10:02It's not impossible to love our place.
10:06It's definitely not impossible.
10:08The feedback I left Nick wasn't particularly positive feedback.
10:12I just hope that he comes into my accommodation with the view of being fair and ideally positive.
10:18Being back around everybody after feedback, I think it was pretty brutal.
10:22But I'm definitely looking forward to getting a few answers, obviously.
10:26Now it's time to see who's Natty with the nunchucks.
10:29We're going to try and do a figure of eight in front of us.
10:33And Dan is having a ball.
10:37Oh, he got it!
10:38Well done.
10:39OK, you ready, Sam?
10:42Oh!
10:44Well done, well done.
10:47Shona, Shona, Shona, Shona.
10:50Oh!
10:52It's a six!
10:53That was the best one!
10:55Dan is a great host.
10:56He's a really nice guy.
10:57He's obviously very passionate about what he does.
11:00And it showed him there, did it?
11:01Yeah, definitely.
11:02And with the afternoon coming to a close...
11:04Help!
11:05Whoa!
11:06Dan hopes he's avoided a knockout blow.
11:10Today's going really well.
11:11Let's hope that nobody gives me that knockout punch when I receive my feedback.
11:22The final visit of the week is to Southport in Lancashire,
11:26where host Dan has invited his guests to grab a drink in the local.
11:31Cheers, guys.
11:32Cheers, Dan.
11:33Cheers.
11:34Cheers.
11:36And with glasses clinked, Nick wants to talk trade.
11:40How long have you had the accommodation we're staying in?
11:43About a year and a bit.
11:45And is it the first one or do you have others?
11:49So we have large three-storey houses, luxury accommodation,
11:53we have apartments and then we have the suites.
11:56So it's something for everybody.
11:57And we accommodate for just under 100 guests coming to the area.
12:01Oh, wow.
12:02When you say we, is it a family business or...?
12:05It's the royal we, yes, myself.
12:08Are you the mayor of Southport?
12:10No, absolutely not.
12:11No, OK, just checking.
12:15Tonight, we've got to know Dan more.
12:18He seems to have a big property portfolio, doesn't he?
12:21Yeah, but there is things that he does need to work on,
12:24like his cleanliness.
12:26Business brushed up.
12:27Next, chat turns to A-list encounters.
12:31Dan, do you have any celebrity stories?
12:33I once had dinner with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
12:38Wow.
12:39Wow, wow, wow.
12:40How did that come about?
12:41It was a charity auction that we won.
12:45As you're driving up, you're thinking to yourself,
12:47he's just an ordinary man.
12:48But then when you get there, it's like, it's Terminator.
12:52I had dinner with Terminator.
12:54Nice guy.
12:55Yeah, he was really cool.
12:56That was a great experience.
12:57So what did Arnold Schwarzenegger have dinner?
13:00Was it a full lamb leg?
13:01Full lamb leg?
13:02He's big.
13:06He's still a big lad, yeah.
13:08Hacks out to him to have a meal with the big man.
13:11I can imagine Dan being best mates with someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger,
13:15to be honest.
13:16Next, Bob Z's after Total Recall,
13:19about collateral damage from guests who give a raw deal.
13:24So Dan, how do you deal with tricky customers?
13:27Ultimately, I think it's important to listen to your customers.
13:30I agree with you, Dan.
13:31However, some customers just do try it out.
13:34You do get people that try and just pick faults.
13:37There is people out there that are like that, aren't they?
13:39Yeah, that's right.
13:41Just like a six.
13:43Just like a five.
13:45I'm sure we can deal with that on payment day.
13:48Yeah, I'm sure we certainly can.
13:50Ooh.
13:51Bring your nunchucks with you as well.
13:53I'll borrow them.
13:57Some daggers flying across the room, shall we say.
14:01Feathers are definitely being roughawed, so I reckon payment day.
14:04It's going to be fireworks.
14:05Thanks.
14:07Drink's done.
14:08It's back to the apartments, where Shauna's following her nose.
14:12I thought at first it was just the bathroom, but the whole room absolutely stinks of damp.
14:17Let's get some shut-eye.
14:26It's a new morning in Southport, and the guests are ready to face the day.
14:31How do you sleep?
14:33I slept pretty good.
14:34The bed was comfy once we got to sleep.
14:36I know.
14:37The smell of damp in here is really, really bad.
14:41Over in his room, some facilities don't wash for Nick.
14:45I think Dan's missed the trick in the bathroom.
14:48It could have been re-engineered better with a bit of a splash back,
14:50a few more shelves, and a full-size sink.
14:54Breakfast at Beach Suites is a self-catering affair.
14:57And while Uzi and Bobsy and Shauna and Sam are grabbing a bite from a local cafe,
15:03Nick's opted for the DIY option, using the apartment's shared kitchen.
15:08I have no concerns about breakfast this morning.
15:10Very confident that they'll have everything they need in our communal kitchen.
15:14But before cooking commences, Nick susses the set-up.
15:18Clean pots.
15:20Everything brand spanking new by the look.
15:23Ooh, a little bit of disco light here. Nice.
15:26Very clean, well-thought-out kitchen.
15:29Fair play to him.
15:31Appliances approved.
15:32Come on, you big bit of bacon. Sizzle away.
15:36Nick cracks on.
15:37And with the other guests having sourced their scran...
15:40Yeah, looking forward to this, to be honest with you.
15:42I am.
15:43Grubs up.
15:44Magnifico. Et voila!
15:47Good morning, Nick.
15:48Oh, morning, Bobsy. Morning, Oz.
15:49Good morning, Nick.
15:50Morning.
15:52And it's time to tuck in.
15:58This is nice.
15:59The food's on point.
16:00Yeah, it's good.
16:01It's quite handy to have, like, other food places around
16:04where you can order food in from.
16:05I wish I went for Nick's cooked breakfast, to be fair.
16:08Yours looks better than all of ours.
16:09Well done, chef.
16:12Thank you very much.
16:13Yeah.
16:14We enjoyed that space just to have our breakfast,
16:17so, yeah, I think it's a plus point.
16:21Next, Uzi queries everyone's quarters.
16:24How was your stay last night?
16:26The main thing for me was the smell of damp.
16:29Really?
16:29Yeah.
16:30If it wasn't the damp being such a nice garden,
16:32I would not have stopped him last night.
16:34Regardless of a budget,
16:36you still need to have the standard necessities.
16:39So, can I ask, was your room clean enough?
16:40Not really.
16:42It was thicker dust.
16:43Even at this price point, it should be clean enough.
16:46Yeah.
16:46Even my side lights, though.
16:48That's visible.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Very visible, yes.
16:51I think you can always find something if you go searching,
16:54but we never had to search for that, did we?
16:56So, some, do you think it's Wally for money?
16:58We'll find out on payment day.
17:00LAUGHTER
17:02Well, it's a shame, cos Dan is such a nice guy,
17:04but I think he has taken his eye off the ball
17:06with cleanliness, definitely.
17:07Dan has got multiple, obviously, businesses,
17:11and maybe he's not putting that full attention into this place.
17:15Plates polished off,
17:17the guests head back to their rooms
17:18to complete their anonymous feedback forms.
17:21Let's go for it.
17:24How was your host at Beach Sweets?
17:26The amazing guy.
17:28Ten for Dan.
17:28Yeah, I agree.
17:29How clean was Beach Sweets?
17:34Hairs on bed.
17:37Overall, clean.
17:39Nine.
17:41There was quite a bit of stains on the pillows
17:44and also the cushions.
17:45There was a long hair, dusty lights on the bedside.
17:49The cup was dirty and also the kettle.
17:51What were we scoring?
17:52A five.
17:53I agree.
17:54There was a strong smell of damp, wasn't there?
17:57There was a lot of cobwebs
17:58and we did find quite a lot of dust.
18:00I think it's going to have to be a four.
18:01How were the facilities?
18:03Unfinished door paint, sticky door latch,
18:06loose toilet seat, sink on toilet,
18:09compact bathroom.
18:10Unfortunately, it's going to have to be a five.
18:12I agree.
18:12Cozy, charming.
18:15Shower room.
18:18Improvement needed.
18:19And that would be a nine.
18:22How did you sleep?
18:23Bed was comfy, wasn't it?
18:25Yeah.
18:26It was just...
18:26There was that smell of damp.
18:27I think a nine.
18:29How was breakfast?
18:31Great.
18:32Space.
18:33Lovely.
18:34Breakfast would be a ten.
18:37Good self-catering settle.
18:38What was going?
18:39A ten.
18:40Would you stay here again?
18:43Yes.
18:45Because of the damp.
18:46So no one's lost, shouldn't they?
18:48I think there's room for improvement,
18:49so it's going to be a no.
18:51I agree.
18:53Now the guests must pay what they think their stay was worth.
18:57Do we agree on this, Bob?
18:58Yes.
18:59The cash will be kept secret until the end of the competition.
19:03But for now, Dan can discover if Beach Sweets is a surefire hit.
19:08Let's hope they're being kind.
19:11How clean was Beach Sweets?
19:13I got a nine.
19:14I was hoping for a ten.
19:15Hair's on bed.
19:16Very surprised.
19:17I did check the place before everybody arrived.
19:19Overall clean.
19:20Good.
19:21How were the facilities?
19:23Another nine.
19:24Nine is still a good score.
19:26Cozy.
19:27Charming.
19:28Well, that's nice, isn't it?
19:29Shower room.
19:30Improvement needed.
19:31Well, I can't improve it if I don't know what to improve.
19:34How was breakfast?
19:36Got a ten.
19:36Brilliant.
19:37Great space.
19:38Lovely breakfast.
19:39I made up the enjoys their breakfast.
19:42I had a lovely stay.
19:43My pleasure.
19:44Take care.
19:45Let's see if they're coming back.
19:47Would you stay here again?
19:49Got a big fat yes.
19:50Good on them.
19:52On to the next one.
19:54How was your host at Beach Sweets?
19:57A ten.
19:57That's really good.
19:58I'm pleased with that.
19:59Amazing guy.
20:00I'm happy with that.
20:01How clean was Beach Sweets?
20:03A four.
20:04That's shocking, really.
20:06Strong, damp smell.
20:07I'm surprised.
20:08Never had that feedback before.
20:10That's very disappointing.
20:11Cold webs and thick dust.
20:13I don't believe that at all.
20:14I'm shocked.
20:15How did you sleep?
20:17Scored a nine.
20:18I'm okay with a nine.
20:19Comfy bed.
20:20Good.
20:21Smell of damp.
20:22Again, disappointing.
20:23We're off now, Dan.
20:24Have a great day.
20:25And take care.
20:26Cheers.
20:28Let's see.
20:29Would you stay here again?
20:30No.
20:32I'm disappointed with that.
20:34So let's see what the last ones have to say.
20:37How clean was Beach Sweets?
20:39Five.
20:40Oh, dear.
20:41That's shocking.
20:43Stains on pillow and cushions.
20:45Right, okay.
20:46If I've missed them, they've been so tiny
20:48that you would have had to go searching for them.
20:51Long hair.
20:52Well, that surprises me.
20:54Dusty lights.
20:54Again, I'm surprised.
20:56Dirty cup.
20:57The cups were all spotless.
20:58Dirty inside kettle.
21:00Absolutely not.
21:01How were their facilities?
21:03Just go to five.
21:04That's disappointing.
21:05Unfinished door paint.
21:07That's a shame.
21:09Sticky door latch.
21:10Well, I know that's Ozzy and Bobsy's room
21:12because the door latch is sticking a little.
21:14Loose toilet seat.
21:15I'm pleased they've brought it to my attention.
21:17Sink on toilet.
21:19It is a small space.
21:20We've done the best we can with what we've got.
21:23Compact bathroom.
21:24Yeah, it is compact.
21:25And I think the price point reflects that.
21:27How was breakfast?
21:28Scored a ten.
21:30Brilliant.
21:31Good self-catering setup.
21:32Good and pleased.
21:33Thank you very much for the stay.
21:35My pleasure.
21:36And have a great day.
21:36See you soon.
21:37Bye.
21:39I don't think they will come back.
21:41Let's find out.
21:42Would you stay here again?
21:43No.
21:46Again, disappointed.
21:47I think those comments were just a little bit too nitpicky
21:51and there's a lot of game playing going on here.
21:53I was looking forward to receiving some constructive, fair feedback.
21:57It doesn't look like I've received that.
21:59Looking forward to answers come payment day.
22:03Hospitality's hottest competition
22:05is about to hit this week's crescendo.
22:08So I have my suit of armour on
22:10as bills are paid.
22:11And I'm disappointed in both of you.
22:15And scores are settled.
22:17I'm not insulting.
22:18That's not insulting, I'll tell you.
22:19No, I'm insulted, so it is insulting.
22:21OK, you've insulted, but you've signed up to a competition.
22:23I think there's a lot more shocks to come.
22:26Hmm.
22:26. . . . .
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