- 5 hours ago
7 Days (NZ) Season 18 Episode 4
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TVTranscript
00:01.
00:20Bowlers, bowlers.
00:21Well, hello there, you absolute legend watching TV on the couch.
00:24Hope you've got a stiff cup of tea in front of you
00:26and a tasty cookie to dunk, because it's time for seven days.
00:29I am Jeremy Corbett.
00:30You're about to watch this ragtag bunch of riff-raff riff
00:33on the week's news that we've ripped from the news rags.
00:35Let's meet the team, shall we?
00:37And leading team one, well, he grew his hair to look cool,
00:40but just ended up looking like the relief teacher
00:41that would let you get away with murder.
00:43It's Ben Hurley.
00:48Calm down, guys.
00:50I've got a great team.
00:51Good.
00:52Next to me, she's actually in a gang.
00:54Yeah.
00:55And by that I mean a hilarious theatre troupe.
00:59It's Abby Howe.
01:04And down the end, he's actually in a gang.
01:08It's Corey Gonzalez.
01:14A leader of team two is originally from my hometown and hers of Palmy,
01:18but now lives in the UK.
01:19Yeah, she's Manawatu's own Laura the Explorer.
01:22It's Laura Daniel.
01:24How is it?
01:26International travelling?
01:27Yeah, yeah, it's all right, innit?
01:29I have been living there for about a year and a half,
01:31and don't worry, London hasn't changed me,
01:33although you will notice throughout the show
01:34I have picked up a bit of an accent.
01:36What can I say?
01:37What can I say?
01:37I'm a culture sponge.
01:39I do actually pick up accents really fast, though.
01:41You should have heard me after the 12-hour stopover in Beijing.
01:45It's true.
01:46It's true.
01:46I spent the whole 12-hour stopover at Beijing Universal Studios,
01:49and I could not stop talking like Shrek.
01:53It was like that, a bit of Mandarin.
01:56Ni hao, donkey!
01:59I'm leading team two, great for that.
02:01Who's on your team?
02:02Have you met them yet?
02:03Yeah, I've met them once or twice.
02:05Incredible.
02:06She is actually pregnant with her first child.
02:11And he has also had sex at least once.
02:16It's Cuda Forrester and Lloyd Langford.
02:19Beautiful.
02:21Great team, it's going to be a good night.
02:22We'll kick off the show with a game of Newsmakers
02:24where we cast our eyes over the biggest stories
02:26in the news.
02:27Ignore them and discuss the ones we'd like to joke about.
02:29Team One, you're up first.
02:30Tell me why this is a Newsmaker.
02:32The Prime Minister is said to be shaken by a
02:38Was it a moderate pad thai instead of a mild one?
02:42I think he's shaken because Parliament
02:45just banned people from saying,
02:47look, what I'll say to you is...
02:51He got a bad poll, but because he used to run an airline,
02:54he's delaying his departure.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:58Very good.
03:01Our Prime Minister, Christopher Luxon,
03:03has been facing rumours of a dethroning his National
03:05Party leader after a horror poll result.
03:08National dropped to sit at 28.4%.
03:10Labor was up to 34.4%.
03:13If Luxon isn't careful, he is going to get rolled.
03:15And let's face it, he's a perfect shape for rolling.
03:18LAUGHTER
03:18That's not a fat joke.
03:20I mean, he's just not a guy with a lot of edges.
03:22You know, when you look at him.
03:23LAUGHTER
03:24It just goes to show that in politics,
03:27raw sex appeal can only get you so far.
03:28Yeah, exactly.
03:30People always say he's not very relatable,
03:33but now that he's quite unpopular
03:35and everyone he works with hates him,
03:37I find him more relatable now than ever before.
03:41We do got to cut him some slack
03:42after everything he's had to deal with, you know?
03:44A terrorist attack, a volcanic eruption, a pandemic.
03:47Oh, was that...
03:49Yeah, it was a previous...
03:50Oh.
03:51Oh.
03:52So what did he have to deal with...
03:52Oh, cheese being a bit expensive.
03:54Yeah.
03:55Still pretty bad, still pretty bad.
03:57I mean, you know, this must be worrying for Luxon
04:00because, you know, last time he had a fool this bad,
04:02all the king's horses and all the king's men.
04:05LAUGHTER
04:05So his rating at the moment,
04:07if he was a converter to, if he was an Uber driver,
04:10his rating would be 1.75 stars.
04:13Do you know how bad you have to be as an Uber driver to...
04:15That's like doing hand stuff to the passenger.
04:18LAUGHTER
04:19Team Two, it's your turn now.
04:20Wrap your eyes around this and let me know the story.
04:23We're seeing it to start with in youth.
04:25I mean, it's a pretty exciting change in youth
04:27over the last 20 years.
04:29Ooh.
04:30I think I've heard this one.
04:31They've stopped using the word skucks.
04:34LAUGHTER
04:35It's out, apparently.
04:37I don't know how we're going to describe our boyfriends anymore.
04:40I think this is about young people's
04:43increased opportunities to date Leonardo DiCaprio.
04:49Pubes are back, maybe?
04:51LAUGHTER
04:51Thank God!
04:53LAUGHTER
04:55I'm cubes from here now.
04:57LAUGHTER
05:00I do actually know what it's about, Jeremy.
05:02Oh, you do?
05:02Yeah, I've been watching the news.
05:04Wow.
05:04I realised I was coming on the show.
05:06OK.
05:06Here we are.
05:07Done your homework.
05:07Did my homework.
05:08Awesome.
05:08I think this is about the alcohol consumption in New Zealand's now
05:12at an all-time low.
05:12It could be because the youth are drinking less,
05:15or it could be because they've been in London for the last year.
05:18LAUGHTER
05:18Industry's taken a real hit.
05:20Both have been factors, I believe, Laura.
05:23New Zealanders are saying,
05:23yeah, nah, taboos with alcohol consumption
05:26hitting an all-time low.
05:27Down 8.3% on last year.
05:29It's gotten so bad, Liquor King has lost its title
05:32and is now known as Liquor Mountbatten-Windsor.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:38The trouble is youth don't have any money anymore, right?
05:41Yeah.
05:41Because they're spending it all on vaping and counselling.
05:44LAUGHTER
05:48You're going to be an incredible mother.
05:50LAUGHTER
05:51I don't get it.
05:52I've drunk every day of my life since I was 18 years old, right?
05:56Oosh.
05:57And people...
05:59LAUGHTER
06:00People are always surprised...
06:02Guck.
06:02..when I tell them...
06:04..that I'm only 22.
06:08Is this the reason why there's so many traffic cones around?
06:12Because there's no drunk people.
06:13LAUGHTER
06:14Why?
06:15Oh, my gosh.
06:15There's no drunk people doing quack-up stuff like that
06:18and with its head and putting it on things.
06:20Putting it on a Norfolk pine.
06:22Yeah, a vital industry lost.
06:25When I see a traffic cone at the top of a Norfolk pine,
06:29I'm like, we're the same species that built the pyramids.
06:33LAUGHTER
06:33This is...
06:34This is mankind's greatest achievement.
06:37LAUGHTER
06:37Someone did that pissed.
06:39Yeah.
06:39And they say white people don't have culture.
06:41LAUGHTER
06:43I felt like a problem as well is that, like,
06:45nerds have taken over making beer.
06:49LAUGHTER
06:50Like, you used to be able to just go and get a beer,
06:54and now you go into a bar and they're like,
06:56ah, this is a, uh, 19% by volume, uh, turbo stout
07:01from a craft brewery, and it'll cost you, like, 40 bucks,
07:06and you're not allowed to open it in the same room
07:09as a pregnant woman.
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11I just want a beer.
07:12Young people don't have time to drink.
07:14They're too busy, um...
07:15What was it you were saying backstage, um, Corby?
07:18What?
07:19Ruining the English language and, um...
07:21LAUGHTER
07:22And coming up with even more genders.
07:25LAUGHTER
07:28LAUGHTER
07:30Abby!
07:32LAUGHTER
07:33That...
07:34..was a private conversation.
07:36LAUGHTER
07:37Um, alright, go to the points.
07:38Now, team, when you're going to have zero,
07:39which is not a great score,
07:40that's the number of World Cups
07:42the Black Caps currently hold this week,
07:43after losing to India in the men's T20 World Cup final
07:46in Ahmedabad.
07:47Uh, you can have five, team two.
07:49That's the number of wickets Brett Randall took
07:50in just five balls in a cricket match this week.
07:53Five wickets and five balls,
07:54which is a triple hat trick, I believe.
07:56That's right.
07:57Yeah, which is amazing.
07:58And record-setting,
07:59which means the first star for Newsmakers
08:00goes to team two!
08:02APPLAUSE
08:07Very crickety theme for our stars.
08:09For the stargazers out there,
08:10our stars are more than just pretty shapes.
08:12The team who accrues the most by the end of the show
08:14will win the most precious and desired prize of all.
08:16Look at this and go, ooh.
08:19Yep.
08:20Ooh.
08:20That is five litres of unleaded 95.
08:24Pure.
08:25Uncut.
08:26Sourced from the gull right by my house.
08:28Use it in your car to get home tonight
08:29or save it for next week to sell it a huge mark-up.
08:32The security guards are included in that.
08:35Good luck.
08:35All right, it is time for our next game,
08:37which is called Guess Who.
08:38And backstage I have secreted
08:40a mystery star of the week of news.
08:42Comedians have to guess who it is.
08:43It's very simple,
08:44but they do make it look hard.
08:45I agree.
08:46Please welcome our Guess Who guest.
08:49Now I'm going to jump behind you
08:51and pull you in
08:52and three,
08:53two,
08:54one.
08:55It's out there.
08:55That's great.
08:59He's calmed down.
09:02All right,
09:03you're going to ask the questions.
09:04Guest, you only say yes or no as an answer.
09:06If you get an R goes to the other team.
09:08Team one, you can begin.
09:10Uh, uh...
09:10Do you work out?
09:13Oh, a little bit.
09:15That's a yes, I guess.
09:17Um, are you single?
09:19No.
09:20No, that's a no.
09:21Team two.
09:22Oh, I don't want to play any of that.
09:27I bet you're just as beautiful with the bag off.
09:31Sorry.
09:32Sorry.
09:33I'm thinking sports, right?
09:36Sports?
09:36Are you a professional sportsman?
09:39Uh, yes.
09:39It's a yes.
09:40Ooh.
09:41Okay, now we're going to narrow it down.
09:43Have you been involved in a scandal?
09:47No.
09:47No.
09:48Not scandalous.
09:49Team one, you...
09:50I was going to ask if he's in the Warriors,
09:51but they can't be...
09:54Um, do you take part in a sport that involves animals?
09:58Yes.
09:59Ooh.
10:00Oh, I know...
10:02Were you in the sheep shearing competition?
10:06Yes.
10:07Did you win it?
10:08Yes.
10:09Ta-da!
10:09Correct!
10:10Look at that!
10:14Look at that!
10:16Golden Shares Champion 2026,
10:19defending champion,
10:20Toa Henderson.
10:21Congratulations.
10:21Well done.
10:26So, um, there you are with the trophy.
10:28What...
10:28So, what do you have to do to win the Golden Shares?
10:31Because it's the...
10:32It's the cutting edge of shearing, isn't it?
10:34Uh, just...
10:35Just a lot of training, a lot of shearing sheep.
10:37Yeah.
10:37But on the date, is it...
10:38Is it a numbers thing, or is it a quality thing?
10:40It's quality and speed.
10:42There you go.
10:42How many sheep did you do?
10:45I know!
10:46You know what I mean!
10:47Well, 20...
10:4820 in the final, but...
10:49We've got to do so many rounds to get to the final.
10:52Oh, right.
10:52Um, Ben here was wondering, uh,
10:54Could you do his lower half?
10:59Well...
11:00It'll only take a couple of minutes, mate.
11:03Get this, though.
11:04Not even a...
11:05You shear a sheep in under a minute, I think.
11:07Don't you?
11:08Yeah, we've done those 20 in 16 minutes.
11:11Just over 16 minutes.
11:12Wow.
11:12We're the best in the world at shearing, right?
11:14I'd like to say we are.
11:15Well, we are now, because we've got the World Championships.
11:17So, you...
11:18Do you know who else I reckon would be quite good at removing fleece?
11:22Brazilians.
11:25Well, they've got the name for it, don't they?
11:27Because you might be able to explain this to me,
11:29because you're talking about the World Championships.
11:30So, you won the Golden Shares.
11:32You won it last year as well.
11:33Um, and you also won the team's world championships
11:37with your mate, didn't you?
11:39Yeah, with Roland, yes.
11:40With Roland.
11:40But then he won the individual world champ.
11:43Yep.
11:44Oh!
11:45And I was second to him.
11:46You were second to him?
11:47Yeah, so...
11:48What happened?
11:49Oh, just a good bit of team bonding, eh?
11:51And ended up on top, so...
11:56Okay, how do you, like...
11:57How do you train for an event like this?
11:59Talk us through it.
12:00Don't leave out any details.
12:02Um...
12:03Oh, a lot goes into preparation.
12:05Um...
12:06I've been travelling around every...
12:08every weekend with somewhere new in the country.
12:10Was, um...
12:11Chris Luxon was in attendance too, I believe.
12:14I didn't actually catch up with him.
12:16No, you didn't?
12:17Well, you wouldn't.
12:17There's nothing to share, is there?
12:20Where did the sheep come from?
12:21Are they just from all over the country, or...?
12:23Yeah, they are...
12:24No, they are mainly from Dalmarston and Waste,
12:26where the competition's held.
12:27Uh, I think there was close to 6,000, Sean,
12:29over those few days, so...
12:307,000.
12:31Was it?
12:33Oh, there you go.
12:34I didn't realise you were such a fan.
12:35Oh, neither did I.
12:36Oh, yeah.
12:38What's...
12:38When did you do your first golden...
12:40Or, when did you shear your first sheep,
12:41and when was your first golden shears?
12:42Do you know Corey?
12:43Uh...
12:49I actually first competed in the golden shears when I was 14.
12:5314?
12:53I was going to say early teens.
12:57Yeah, yeah, so that's how long I've been trying.
12:59It's been 21 years.
13:00So the family's been in the biz for a while?
13:03Yeah, they love it.
13:04Yeah.
13:04I think my dad loves it more than I do,
13:06and I always say does my mother and...
13:08...and all my other siblings, so...
13:09I just try and make the whole family proud,
13:11and everyone proud that's from back up home.
13:13I bet they are.
13:14Tor Henderson, golden shears, returning champion.
13:17Thank you, buddy.
13:18You are dismissed.
13:19Cheers, man.
13:20Thanks very much.
13:23Oh, yeah, congratulations.
13:24Corey got it real fast, real fast.
13:26A bit of a record, 7 days record.
13:29Alright, but it's time now for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill,
13:31where this week we are heading back to the incredible year
13:33that was 1987, and Team One, I'm going to start with you.
13:36Okay.
13:36You need to tell me what event from 87 the following clip is from.
13:40Yes, indeed, every week at this time, right here on Network 2,
13:43we'll be here with this very expensive piece of machinery.
13:46Meet the barrel.
13:48What is that expensive piece of machinery?
13:50Um, that's an IVF machine, I think.
13:53Those are the eggs, and they get all swished around,
13:56and you pick one out, and that's how coulda got pregnant.
13:58Oh, really?
14:00Um, is it a machine that drains money from the lower and middle classes?
14:07Uh, that was, as you will probably know, the very first lotto draw
14:10on August 1st, 1987, the jackpot that week.
14:13Why would it be a jackpot for the first week?
14:15$360,000, which at the time could buy you a six-bedroom waterfront home in Auckland,
14:19or all of Christchurch.
14:22You will wait for a break now.
14:24Team 2 will get a chance later in the show for that.
14:26So will you at home.
14:27Look forward to that.
14:28Right after the break, we're playing Slice of 7 with special guest Borderline.
14:31We'll see you soon on 7 Days.
14:39APPLAUSE
14:44Bonjour, welcome back to 7 Days.
14:46We've got a special guest band in studio today,
14:48ready to ruin some great songs with silly lyrics
14:50for the comedians to decipher.
14:52Fresh from supporting Teddy Swims,
14:54please give it up for Borderline.
14:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:00All right, team 1, you're first up,
15:01and Borderline is going to play you a bespoke custom-made song.
15:06You just need to tell me what news story they're singing about
15:08in your own time.
15:09Take it away.
15:09Mmm.
15:17...
15:17Loves have left us
15:21Ruin breakfast
15:25Nothing for my jam
15:31Oh, I miss the most
15:34Vegemite
15:35When you dance as toast, the panic buy is Vogelgetten.
15:42No point in heading for the bread bin.
15:52Holy smokes, my toast is empty.
15:59They crash the bread truck on the highway.
16:05It's way too gross to use for sammys.
16:12I guess it's Molenberg today.
16:25So good.
16:27So good.
16:28Now, any ideas, you guys?
16:30Did you get any clues from the lyrics?
16:32Yeah, no jam on their toast.
16:34A lot of bread stuff.
16:36Something about bread.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Well, yeah, Sherlock Holmes and Watson are in the case.
16:43We reckon it's about bread, Governor.
16:47Elementary.
16:48We believe it is about bread.
16:50Martin Freeman played Watson in the TV show.
16:54Yeah.
16:54None of these are our answer.
16:56None of those are your answer.
16:57Benedict Cumberbatch.
16:58If you could just...
16:59And also, Johnny Lee Miller did another version.
17:03He was married to Angelina Jolie.
17:04And they're in the movie Hackers.
17:07Yeah.
17:07She won an Oscar.
17:08She won the Oscar for a girl interrupted.
17:10A girl interrupted.
17:11And guess who else was in that movie?
17:13Brittany Murphy.
17:14I don't know, but I'm going to interrupt you to just say the latest version of Sherlock's
17:19very good as well.
17:20The young Sherlock that's on at the moment.
17:22Yeah, highly recommended.
17:23We don't know that one.
17:26Maybe start a Google Doc before.
17:29Yeah, we'd love to get into that.
17:30Yeah.
17:31Your team leader.
17:31This is about us running out of Vogels in New Zealand.
17:34Oh.
17:34A national emergency.
17:36Well done, Ben.
17:37You saved team one.
17:38Yes.
17:38Hungry shoppers in Auckland this week were sent in a panic as supermarkets ran out of
17:42Vogels bread, problem caused by an issue in the supply chain.
17:46The shortage even affected the church.
17:48They had to change it to give us this day our daily less snack.
17:52So, yeah, what am I meant to spend my fete on now?
17:55That's my boyfriend.
17:57It is too.
17:59Wow.
18:01Huge flick.
18:01She's not lying, it's true.
18:03Yeah, it really is.
18:04Do you give me free Vogel?
18:06No.
18:07But no wonder they're selling it if they're flying off the shelves.
18:13Something disturbing I find about someone that jams their toast like that.
18:18No one paints the jam to all the edges like that on their toast.
18:21There's something wrong with him.
18:22He's perfect.
18:24I'm so sorry about him.
18:27It's also confusing because he hasn't opened the law for Vogels bread.
18:35He's going to be so happy and there's nothing a guy likes more than his partner defending
18:39him to other people.
18:41One of those boxes behind him he's moved in as well.
18:45It's actually in the ad, it's actually not in his house.
18:48Okay?
18:49Broken into someone else's house.
18:50No!
18:50Oh!
18:53What about any Bergen fans?
18:54I'm a Bergen guy.
18:56Oh, yeah.
18:56I am.
18:57No?
18:57You're good.
18:58Have you not heard of it?
18:59No, that's the Pepsi of bread.
19:04Maybe the shortage is down to the maniacs that have Vogels raw.
19:08Who does that?
19:09Who does that?
19:10Raw Vogels.
19:12Maybe people that can't be bothered waiting five hours for Vogels.
19:17They had Vogels bread at my hotel breakfast this morning and I put it in the conveyor bed
19:26toaster six times and then they were like, Mr. Langford, please step away from the toaster.
19:33It is now lunchtime.
19:36All right, team two, you're up.
19:37Tell me what Borderline is singing about.
19:39Take it away.
19:52They left them a backpack and the backpack was stinking.
19:57Thought that's just teenagers, but it also had waited.
20:02Left on the floor by the up shop door.
20:05A lot of cash, a lot of cash, who donates their stash?
20:10Ooh, you know you should have bought a cheap ass suit for your new lawsuit.
20:18Full of bad guys' trinkets and they stink of dust.
20:23Now the shop's in front and a little drunk bus.
20:28Darn it's a monster, she's a dealer now.
20:43Roses of angels.
20:44I was too mesmerised.
20:47This is what happens when the youth don't drink and apply themselves.
20:52We could have been something that.
20:53they were they were talking about a bag left a bag that had been left oh a bag
21:02it's some potentially some illegal substances were left they were handed
21:07into an op shop I heard shop yeah an op shop is that it feels like all you're
21:15gonna give me it's actually a pair of 16 year olds in Southland accidentally
21:20donated a bag containing cannabis and thousands of dollars in cash to a
21:23charity shop the pair have since been arrested the bag containing cash and
21:27drugs had a street value of $10,000 and an op shop price of $11.30
21:39so they they left the drugs in the op shop I would just love to be a fly on the
21:46wall at the gang HQ when they dropped off like a old duvet cover a jigsaw with a
21:54missing piece it's quite serious like it is really serious there was like a
21:58serious amount of drugs in there apparently there was enough weed to make
22:02living in Southland bearable um we tends to slow things down
22:10imagine slowing down life in Southland
22:14well god forbid the local tinny house tries to give back to the community
22:23all right that second song you heard by borderline is one of their own is called watching it burn
22:27comes out at midnight tonight I believe and uh yeah check it out with the actual lyrics in all the
22:32classic places you do uh absolute banger that one give it up one more time for borderline
22:39uh slice of seven um let's do points and this is this is a salute 75 the age of herb's
22:45frontman
22:46uh dilworth karaka who passed away this week um herbs of course with dave dobbin did slice of heaven
22:51and uh we turned that into our very own slice of seven so you have my condolences we salute you
22:56all right 30 is the price of a sausage sizzle at the australia grand prix on the weekend
23:00the burger was 32 they did come with chips however 75 beats 30 team one wins a star
23:08all righty team two burger fueled brain grill time for you eyes to your screens for a clip from 1987
23:14again what's this all about it's just your money not your life everybody who really loved you a week
23:21ago still loves you tonight this is a voicemail my dad left me recently it's about the inheritance
23:30i think right yeah that's my uh personal mantra after i wake up after a big night
23:38well that was from october 19th 1987 more famously known as black monday the day stock markets around
23:44the world crashed and people lost millions uh even i had to sell off one of my rentals to get
23:48by so
23:49it's pretty tough times your turn at the burger fuel brain grill is coming up later in the show look
23:54forward to that time for a break right now go grab your goggles when we come back we're diving into
23:58the cool calm waters of club topic
24:11welcome back to seven days well there are sharks in the water it doesn't scare us we're headed to the
24:16beach
24:16play the steel drums
24:28yes club topicana brought to you by dull pineapples pineapples scaly on the outside yellow on the inside
24:33like a dragon with hepatitis all right inside this sliced and gutted pineapple a collection of news stories
24:39i want to hear a little bit more about they're from the week uh yes uh tv early tv farming
24:44show country
24:45calendar celebrating its 60th year on television congratulations great stuff did get me wondering
24:50what was tv like back when they first started teams give me some scenes from the first days
24:55of tv in new zealand
24:59kia ora and welcome to the first tv show in new zealand oh look we already have a letter
25:03there's too much maori on tv
25:10next up a new cooking show called just boil it longer followed by what else can we do with mints
25:24if you have any broadcasting standards you'd like to complain about
25:27just give us a call on 097
25:37this week at briscoes everything is full price
25:42that's right full price nobody's coming in
25:53and coming up next with the weather is a witch
26:03next up we have the all blacks who are actually all white
26:07um and we're hoping they'll really nail the haka
26:17hello my name is jeremy corbett and welcome to seven days today's topic
26:23the contraceptive pill what is it
26:33tonight on young mike hosking
26:37do poor kids even deserve breast milk
26:44all right back to the pineapple we go
26:46ah yes jail time yeah this week pop star britney spears was arrested for a dui in california
26:51imagine being a famous person in jail would be harrowing but potentially also hilarious
26:56i want to see scenes from pop stars in jail
27:01yeah just a uh heads up do not go into the shower with r kelly
27:08um he does he sings
27:14okay we've got to break out of here
27:16okay somebody needs to distract the guards
27:18shakira you better use those hips girl
27:25it's not looking good for you lou they found blood and hair samples all over your apartment
27:30a little bit of monica
27:31a little bit of jessica
27:33a little bit of rita
27:35there we go
27:39according to police report um the perpetrator actually had a confession to a member of family
27:45if i may read um mama just killed a man
27:56name michael jackson
27:58my age 45
28:00my pronouns
28:02hee hee
28:08all right back to my pineapple i go
28:11uh moving on to sport
28:13yes the warriors kicked off their season this week
28:15sellout crowd watching them dismantle the roosters 42-15
28:19big warriors wins happen all the time
28:22so instead of that uh i'd like you to show me please
28:24some unlikely things to hear at a sports match
28:30oi riff nobody's perfect you did your best under immense pressure
28:40stop crying son of course i'm gonna still love you if you lose
28:49hey player that used to play for our team but went to that team for more money
28:54that was a prudent financial decision
28:57that probably is going to serve your family really well and i respect it
29:07goal for this year be a better listener
29:14hot dogs get your hot dogs we got a sexy little schnauzer
29:18a hot little dash hound
29:20five dollars a look ten dollars a touch
29:30pass the ball to abby
29:39all right that is it uh because floaters currently outnumber floatees
29:43uh the whole ocean needs to be drained and cleaned
29:45play the steel drums
29:46sit yourself down
29:58all right uh for points uh you can have 2007 team one the last time britney spears was arrested
30:03uh as mentioned last week she was locked up again this time for drink driving
30:06and uh you can have 25 team two days worth of petrol remaining in new zealand due to a certain
30:11you know what in the middle east britney beats petrol team one gets the star well
30:20jeremy's special game is on the way on seven days but first a quick break see you soon
30:35welcome back to seven days we are now going to play jeremy's special game this week i've got a bit
30:41of a hankering for a one of my old phase but i thought if i put a bit of zhuzh
30:44it up a bit put a twist on it i can make it my own this is your family could
30:48draw that in this game uh we bribe family members of our panelists on the show tonight to draw a
30:53news story
30:53which they now have to decipher team one are you ready you're up first please welcome our first artist
30:59it's corey's daughter come on out
31:03jump on up here
31:05there you go all right hold your picture up you know what to do your name your school and this
31:09is my picture and they'll go nuts
31:10hi my name is freddie i go to graylin primary and this is my picture
31:15yeah
31:17nailed it freddie
31:18nailed it
31:21how proud now right now corey
31:23very proud sorry for it okay corey's crying so let's uh
31:28talk shit about it i dare you
31:31this is the best picture i've ever seen
31:34it's really good it is really good
31:36um it's all girls
31:40yeah oh it's all girls they look like they're maybe girl guides or something
31:44yeah there's a couple of the uh ladies in the middle up the top who are either singing or on
31:50the vapes
31:52can i just say um i don't reckon that whoever's driving that forklift or construction type vehicle down the bottom
31:58um is really adhering to health and safety
32:03somebody has somebody has a spike in their head
32:05did they get their license i don't think they did
32:07do you know what i've realized this game's a lot harder when the kids in the room
32:17you're all good hey freddie you're good
32:19yeah fortunately it's a very good picture yeah some of them are shit
32:24you're not helping uh women uh in construction and building tradies
32:30yeah women tradies
32:32women are getting in construction so they can do some cat calling
32:39is that your guess yep all right freddie would you mind explaining what you've drawn
32:43okay so this is a construction site yes she's smoking
32:51she's high on v's
32:56she's hammering she's eating a pie that's rotten so that's why it's green
33:01oh okay yeah she's mad so she's throwing a bomb because her boyfriend broke up with her over tech
33:09a lot of backstory yeah she's vaping and she accidentally hit that button so it's gonna
33:15crash that building and she's gonna die what's this that's they don't have a bathroom
33:33that is the most diplomatic answer to a very curly question
33:38all right if you just want to hold your picture up again to the camera and say and this is
33:42my picture
33:42and this is my picture
33:44beautiful thank you freddie
33:47thank you
33:47oh that is great
33:50uh thank you very much freddie uh the real story there uh there are calls to increase the number of
33:56females in construction in new zealand currently uh they make up only 16 percent of that industry
34:01and i think i agree it should be more women in construction women can do anything anything that
34:04men can do you know as long as the building supplies aren't on a high shelf or inside a tightly
34:09closed jar um why not i say why not hey koo don't you work in construction because every day i
34:16see you
34:16backing up that dump truck
34:26the cat calling would be quite different though right if it was all women instead of like nice
34:31tits it would be like nice emotional maturity because historically speaking women only worked in
34:38construction when the men had to go fight a world war so like pretty soon i guess
34:44i just think that orange is like a really hard color to pull off and there's just a huge barrier
34:49for us i mean i'm a spring there's no way i think it would be good to have like more
34:55women tradies on
34:56the site someone to say hey i don't know if it's a good idea to cut that when you're holding
35:01it in
35:01between your knees because women tend to go to more like kind of teaching and like nursing kind
35:09of things like something to distract them from getting paid
35:15oh that's true it's so true if we get women in construction it'll be a lot cheaper won't it
35:24okay team two are you ready for your artist yes kura i think you might know them because they are
35:29your partner please come on out artist all right you know what to do pretty did a great job of
35:38it
35:38away you go hi there my name is mark i went to kington primary school and this is my picture
35:46there we go
35:48that's great just stay there mate i have a i have a question yes lord how come
35:56his picture is worse than fred probably fair call well it's beautiful it's in the eye of the
36:05observer isn't it yeah and choppers up there pretty old school pretty old school helicopters there's lots
36:12of people and like um maybe some farming gates yes electric fence potentially uh that's one of
36:22one of the problems you may encounter if you uh build a house with no door
36:29it's a free-for-all a bunch of people have gathered together to do some type of heist jeremy
36:35is that is that your guess is that team two yes that is our final answer that's our final answer
36:40all
36:41right mark over to you tell us what you've drawn please well this it was actually a story that was
36:46in the news uh this week and uh it was a house that got gate crashed and that's the the
36:52gate crashing
36:57and uh and so all sorts of teenagers were were held uh arrested and police choppers came and wow and
37:06um kington primary school that you went to is in the uk right correct hence the way you've drawn these
37:11houses yeah okay it's great so if you'd just like to say and this is my picture one more time
37:16and this
37:17is my picture there we go thank you mark you've been dismissed cheers thank you uh mark is dead
37:25right that's your daddy a 16 a 16 year old's birthday in sydney was ruined slash made awesome
37:35when it was gate crashed by 500 uninvited guests leading to the riot squad being called three arrests
37:40and a helicopter to disperse the crowds really does take me back to my teenage years all those crazy
37:47crazy parties i'd hear the other kids went to 500. oh my god the poor parents making all the fairy
37:55bread but just yeah yeah more sausage rolls quick this is what happens when you make kids get off their
38:03devices that's right they say more screen time when i was at high school every friday all the popular
38:12girls would come crowding around to webby because um they wanted to use my id because i turned 18
38:20like early in the year and they're like you're not using that and i was like no i'm not you
38:23don't need
38:24you don't need an id to watch dvds at margaret's house i don't know why they got helicopters involved
38:31though i mean all they had to do was get a couple of parents to get up on the dance
38:34floor and those kids
38:35would have disappeared that's what you do oh that's how you make things uncool for you that's
38:40well this is why i don't understand why so many more kids didn't turn up to my daughter's birthday
38:44party because i had my full dj booth set up on the front lawn here's one for you kids
38:52nothing wrong with anya
38:56all right um let's go to the points uh team one you get 23 that's the number of players red
39:02carded
39:02after a mass brawl during a football match in brazil brutal they said military police uh took
39:07the field uh the beautiful game uh team two you can have everything uh that's what a hidden workforce
39:13of thousands in kenya is seeing through people's google glasses even when you don't think the camera's
39:18on apparently they're reviewing everything that those video cameras can see on your glasses to train
39:22train the ai yeah big scandal i broke this week everything is an impossible score to beat
39:27which means team two congratulations you get a star right before we take five it's time to give
39:35you your picture for the burger fuel brain grill here it is uh quickly on the show but have a
39:41more
39:41decent squiz if you like uh over the break on our socials send us a crack up caption to win
39:45some mighty
39:46fine burger fuel you do that i'll have a quick nap we'll be back soon for caption that on seven
39:50days
40:01how are you how are you doing me too it is the final part of the show we're playing caption
40:06that
40:06where i show the comedian some candid pics i took over the week they're pretty good they simply have
40:10to supply the all-important caption team one you're up first caption this oh oh i i figured out where
40:16all
40:16the vogels went i think he's attempting a coup people line up to poo on the pigeon statue so so
40:30they know how it feels uh british version of sesame street disappointing
40:39um 40 years later chernobyl still having an impact
40:45that is a pigeon sculpture by artist ivan agoti it stands in the high line in new york city
40:50team two your turn now caption this picture oh um southland op shop volunteers find big bag of powder
41:05that is uh operation dessert storm this is how they announce there's a gay pope
41:17that is hindu followers showered in colored powder during holy celebrations in india
41:21back to you team one okay caption this one for me well is it uh controversy hits taranaki fashion week
41:29as they let humans do the runway
41:33um blind jockey needs a bit of help
41:40oh i believe this is megan and the stallion
41:45uh you are looking at the two biggest users of catamen
41:54well as all fashionistas will know a model presents a creation by designer stella mccartney
41:59during paris fashion week also there's a horse
42:03um another one for you team two here's another picture for you oh god
42:08tinder date wish i said just stuck to dinner in a movie
42:15i'm not sure we're going to get our deposit back
42:21that's uh new zealand's army on the way to help
42:27deluxe high-rise accommodation according to airbnb listing
42:33your uber eats driver has been delayed
42:38on the plus side my mobile signal has never been stronger
42:46um emergency personnel prepare the extraction of two people stuck in a balloon that hit a cell
42:51phone tower in longview texas they're all okay great round of picture words it's time now to
42:56announce tonight's overall winning team let's go to the star chart and add them up look at that
42:59congratulations
43:05well done enjoy your petrol don't drink it all at once thank you so much for watching we do
43:13appreciate you and we appreciate our comedians of course please join me in thanking ben abby corey
43:18laura kura and lloyd we'll see you in seven days on seven days
43:22thank you new zealand on here and uh to the teenagers watching the show sober what's that like
43:36we'll try to fare next week
43:36yeah
43:37You
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