- 5 hours ago
7 Days (NZ) Season 18 Episode 6
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00:18Hello, yes, you have done it.
00:21You have successfully turned on your television and navigated to three, and now you're about
00:26to soak in the goodness that is seven days.
00:28My name is Jeremy Corbett.
00:29Hello, it is time to oil up and roll around in the week's news.
00:33Let's meet tonight's team, shall we?
00:35And the leader of Team 1 is a bit like the Broccoli of New Zealand comedy.
00:38Yeah, fluffy on top, takes a while to get used to, and most kids hate him.
00:40It's Josh Thompson.
00:45Thank you very much, Jeremy.
00:47We have a very special team tonight.
00:48They are legally married, although have still refused to adopt me.
00:53We have Michelle, who has recently been made an officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit.
00:58Yes.
01:01And Jeremy is here as well.
01:03So, give it up for Comedy Power.
01:06Come on, Jeremy Corbett.
01:08And lead Team 2, for the first time ever, a young man doing his bit to save fuel by not
01:14being old enough to drive.
01:15It's Jack Ansatz.
01:17Oh, I know.
01:19Thank you so much for the promotion, Daddy, I guess.
01:24Yes, that'll do.
01:25Great team on Team 2 tonight, Jeremy.
01:27She's an amazing comedian, and he is also an amazing comedian.
01:31And I'm being really kind because, to be honest, I'm kind of scared of both of them.
01:34We have Justin Smith and Corey Gonzales.
01:37Yay!
01:41Well done, Jack.
01:43Let's take the first bite of the cherry, the game of newsmakers.
01:45Teams, I will play you a clip from one of the newsiest news stories of the week.
01:49You just need to tell me what it's all about.
01:51And Team 1, we will start with you as perp.
01:53Here's your clip.
01:54And in Thailand, they're telling people to turn off their aircon and wear lighter clothes.
01:59Newsreaders lead by example.
02:01Well, they did say Thailand, but I will say they aren't wearing any Thais.
02:07We're lucky they're wearing shirts, to be honest.
02:09No, I think that was the giveaway, though, right?
02:11Talking about turning off your air conditioning and trying to save fuel.
02:16Oh, I see.
02:16Yes, yes.
02:17Well, this must be the Thai shortage, which is affecting the great nation of Thailand
02:23and the thing about changing their name to Land.
02:26You sort of got the link is there, yeah, due to some shenanigans in the Straits of Hormuz.
02:30As you may have heard about, we have entered a fuel crisis.
02:33Government has announced a relief package for low-income families,
02:35along with a number of innovative ways to help save energy,
02:39just as they were on that show.
02:40I'm an energy saver.
02:42I'm on board.
02:42I even unplug appliances when I'm not using them,
02:44which works well at home, but I'm not allowed back to that hospice.
02:49Man.
02:50Oh.
02:53Didn't seem to be using it.
02:55Just lying there.
02:56Just that annoying beep.
02:59Well, no, I think I speak on behalf of most New Zealanders when I say
03:02I'd rather spend $4 a litre on gas than admit that electric vehicle owners were right.
03:08One thing you can do is I always park at the highest point in the city.
03:13So I park on Mount Eden, and then all you do is take the handbrake off,
03:17and as long as the tourists and the kids get out of your way,
03:20it's a pretty good run.
03:21But you've still got to use petrol to get back up there to park at the end of the day.
03:25Yeah, it does have a downside.
03:28I've been personally saving energy by having a little nap in the afternoon
03:32and also staying quite pissed so that I can't drive.
03:41I do something similar, Jess.
03:43I stop drinking and realise I don't like most people,
03:47so I save petrol by not getting invited to anything.
03:51I'm kind of similar to you guys.
03:53I stop kind of using petrol because I'm just at home all the time,
03:56so I recommend getting depression.
03:59I've been trying everything, but do you have any idea how hard it is
04:02to put petrol through as brown onions?
04:06Yeah, that's...
04:06I mean, there's a lot of...
04:08You know, everyone's suggesting using public transport,
04:11which I think is a good idea, and I've been doing that.
04:13I've been popping down to the Ranui bus station
04:15and siphoning gas out of the buses, so...
04:19The thing about taking public transport
04:21is that when you arrive at work smelling of wheeze,
04:24you can blame it on that.
04:26Jeez.
04:27The New Zealand police are actually cutting fuel.
04:29They're only responding to crimes that are on a bus route.
04:32And there are also fewer ram rates now
04:35because people can't afford to drive into Michael Hill
04:37and just take the jewellery, which is worth less.
04:40Times are pretty bad.
04:41I even caught Corbett putting up posters
04:43for advertising for someone to go siphoning with at night time.
04:47We're actually meeting up at Mount Eden car park tonight.
04:49Is that right, Corbett?
04:50If anyone wants to join?
04:51We don't need to talk about it out loud.
04:52For the siphoning?
04:53I don't think siphoning means what you think it means.
04:58I've done some siphoning in car parks,
05:00but there was no gas involved.
05:03All right, team two, you are up.
05:05Your turn.
05:06What's the gist of this clip, please?
05:08I didn't even see...
05:10I didn't even see a woman and a child.
05:13Like, I did not...
05:14No-one came up to me.
05:15No-one bothered me.
05:17Oh, God.
05:18Was she going more than 40k in a school zone?
05:21Yeah.
05:22Is that me on the Titanic justifying
05:24why I elbowed my way into the lifeboats?
05:27That is, no, that is, um, Chapel Roan.
05:30Oh, that's my job.
05:32Your team can help out.
05:34No, no, no.
05:35You just need to summarise.
05:36Yeah, not my captain, um, so...
05:39I'm the captain.
05:41Uh, yeah, so she was doing a concert somewhere,
05:44and apparently she's really a bit of a bitch.
05:47Oh.
05:48Yeah.
05:48So, basically, what, Corey?
05:51Pop star Chapel Roan posted an apology video,
05:53which she just saw a bit of,
05:54after her security guard made an 11-year-old superfan cry
05:58at a hotel buffet in Brazil.
06:00Poor little girl.
06:01Actually, I've only ever approached a celebrity once
06:04at breakfast.
06:05It was Hilary Barry, actually.
06:07And I'll never forget what she said to me.
06:09She said,
06:09How did you get into my kitchen?
06:12So...
06:14I had the same thing.
06:15I, um...
06:16I actually met a celebrity at a restaurant a few weeks ago,
06:18um, you know, Brooke Fraser?
06:19Oh, yes.
06:20And I was like,
06:21I'm actually done for now.
06:22Thank you. Take this.
06:27I'm starting to get a bit of a whiff of fame,
06:29and this is because...
06:31No, I...
06:32That's not what that smell is.
06:32You are sitting quite close to me.
06:34Yeah, yeah.
06:35But, basically, what happened the other day was
06:36there were some kids whispering behind me,
06:38and they were like,
06:39That's Jack Ansett.
06:40He's on TV, right?
06:42And then the other one went,
06:42Nah, it can't be.
06:44And the other one went,
06:44Why?
06:45And then the other one went,
06:45Because he's on the bus.
06:48I was like,
06:49Yeah, well, sorry, kids,
06:50the Lambo's in the garage.
06:52Hey, can we...
06:53Can we show that photo at 7.30?
06:55Yeah, I reckon...
06:56Like...
06:56Oh, yeah.
06:57Is it a problem?
06:57I mean, it's...
06:58I mean, I'm sorry about it,
06:59but it's just like, um...
07:00I mean, is that...
07:01That looks like she said,
07:03I'll just throw something on and missed.
07:06Like...
07:08Like, I've caught things on my nipples before,
07:10but, like,
07:10I haven't then gone out to an occasion.
07:12You've noticed before you get out the door, yeah.
07:14Are we allowed to say that, Corey?
07:17I don't know if that'll change that,
07:18but apparently...
07:19Corey's not looking at it.
07:20Apparently they're prosthetic.
07:22Oh, the boobs.
07:23What?
07:23No, the bit that she's hanging the dress on
07:25is prosthetic.
07:26Oh, hang on!
07:28I mean, don't know!
07:30Let's just have a look here.
07:33If I wore that dress,
07:35that fabric would be keeping my ankles warm.
07:37Yeah.
07:40It looks like she's pulling, like, hankies out of them.
07:44Like, she's just going,
07:45oh, and there's more!
07:46And there's more!
07:47All right, good round of newsmakers.
07:49Great way to kick off this week's show.
07:51Team One, for points you can have,
07:521992, 1,992.
07:54That's the year of the recording of the song
07:57Pō Ata Rau
07:58by a Turikina Maori girls college choir.
08:00Appears in the new Ryan Gosling movie.
08:02Yeah, Project Hail Mary
08:04and Goosebumps stuff.
08:05All right, you get that.
08:06$10,000 for you, Team Two.
08:07Cost of a ticket to a dinner
08:08with Prime Minister Christopher Luxon
08:10during the National Party's fundraiser
08:12at the Christchurch Town Hall next month.
08:14I'm sure they will be snapped up.
08:16What that does mean is
08:17it's a star for Newsmaker Team Two.
08:23Worth mentioning,
08:24a star is more than just something
08:25I look up to in the night sky.
08:26It makes me ponder my insignificance.
08:28It's also how we keep score on seven days.
08:30At the end of the night,
08:31the team with the most stars
08:32will win an incredible prize.
08:33This week, I will lend the winning team
08:35full use of my own personal mode of transport.
08:38There it is, my palanquin.
08:40Oh, my God.
08:40Yeah, check it out.
08:41There's an extra incentive
08:43because the winning captain
08:44will be carried around all week
08:46by the losing team.
08:48Time now on seven days
08:49for a game of Guest Two
08:50where we wheel out a notable name
08:51from the news,
08:52very skilfully disguise them
08:54by putting a big sack on their heads.
08:56Please welcome your Guest Two guests.
09:01That's right.
09:01I'll jump behind you.
09:02I'll walk you in.
09:03Three, two,
09:05one.
09:06Right, if you can just sort of stay there,
09:07that's perfect.
09:08So you're doing a yes or no.
09:11Give us a thumbs up
09:12or a thumbs down
09:12for a yes or a no.
09:13You get a thumbs down,
09:14it goes to the other team.
09:15Understand?
09:16You can start team one.
09:17Is he not talking?
09:18Is this a new...
09:18He's not talking.
09:19They never talk.
09:20No, they do talk.
09:21They do say yes or no,
09:22but I guess we're thinking
09:23maybe that might give them away.
09:25Oh, somebody with a voice.
09:27Oh, oh, oh.
09:28Ah, you Darth Vader.
09:33Is it sports related?
09:36Do you know what I mean?
09:37It's a yes.
09:38Yeah, okay.
09:38Oh, I'm out.
09:39Are you, uh, is it a...
09:40Wait, is it a sport that involves a ball?
09:44Oh, yeah.
09:45Oh, I know.
09:46Oh, well, that narrows it down.
09:47Are you, uh, did he used to be on All Black?
09:50Like...
09:50Yes!
09:51Oh, it's so...
09:52Are you, uh...
09:53Ah, ah, ah, ah, you just gotta know, my friend.
09:56We're still doing it.
09:57Did you recently resign us?
09:58No, but you gotta know that it goes to us.
10:00He got a yes.
10:00He was quiet.
10:01Oh, did you?
10:02He said yes.
10:02Well, I'm sorry.
10:03I apologise, sir.
10:05I apologise to you, sir.
10:07And to you.
10:08It's his question.
10:09You say your mouth.
10:10Get in your corner.
10:11Get your team and controls up.
10:12This is a good way of introducing...
10:14I'm all up.
10:16A good way of introducing a game
10:17we're going to play next week
10:18called Guess What
10:19where you're trying to figure out
10:20what disease Josh has.
10:24Um, so we...
10:25All right, carry on, team two.
10:26Fuck Shelford.
10:26Come on.
10:27What?
10:27Fuck Shelford.
10:28Corey, trust me, I think I've got...
10:30I think I've got this.
10:31Oh, really?
10:31Do you want to knock you out?
10:32Trust me.
10:32Yeah, you can knock me out.
10:34Yeah, 100%.
10:35Oh, God.
10:35Yeah.
10:35All right.
10:36Yeah.
10:36So, from what you said before,
10:37I think...
10:37OK, I think I can get this.
10:38Ask your question.
10:39So, did you...
10:41Um, did I pee next to you...
10:43Wait.
10:44Well...
10:45In Venice Airport in 2023.
10:472023, you might not remember.
10:53That's a no.
10:53All right, OK.
10:54My information's wrong.
10:55You seem to, uh...
10:56You seem to hesitate when
10:58Corey asked if it was a sport
11:00involving a ball.
11:00Is that because that brings up
11:02some bad memories
11:03of a particular incident?
11:08Oh, OK.
11:09All right.
11:10It's a no.
11:11Just take it, man.
11:12Yeah.
11:13Well, I think it's Buck Shelford.
11:14Well, ask the question!
11:16Are you Buck Shelford?
11:17Are you Sir Buck Shelford?
11:19Yes!
11:21It is.
11:22Sir Wayne Thomas Shelford.
11:26Thank you for joining us.
11:35Thank you for joining us, Wayne.
11:38Buck, I guess, is how
11:39everyone knows you.
11:40Although you were an All Black,
11:42that's not sort of why
11:43you're here this week, is it?
11:44Tell us.
11:45No, it's, um...
11:47Because I'm the ambassador
11:48for, um...
11:49Testicular cancer.
11:51Right.
11:51And it's a growing cancer now
11:53and it's coming forward
11:55in a lot of teenagers.
11:56Mm.
11:57Oh.
11:57And so we actually now
11:59are just trying to get the teenagers
12:00to get their checks
12:01or do their checks independently
12:03and we start, um...
12:05The 1st of April
12:06is the month for testicular cancer.
12:08Right.
12:08So there's going to be
12:09some great footage coming out
12:12in regards to that.
12:14Yeah.
12:14And...
12:14Great.
12:15Can't wait.
12:17Wow.
12:17So, uh, Lump Lottery?
12:19Yes, the Lump Lottery,
12:20you can win a...
12:21Lump Lottery,
12:22you win a Jack, um,
12:23four-wheel drive.
12:24Great.
12:25Pretty, um, pretty fitting.
12:26You're here to talk about sex
12:27and we put one on your head.
12:28Shit.
12:30Before we do get into it,
12:31the...
12:32Because it's a big thing, right?
12:33Like, checking,
12:34I think if you get it early,
12:35there's a 98% success rate of Q&A.
12:37Well, our woman folk,
12:39our ladies out there,
12:40we're actually way behind them
12:42as, uh, older men.
12:44That's where you belong.
12:44And we're not...
12:46LAUGHTER
12:47And we're not teaching our sons
12:49whereas our women
12:50look after our daughters.
12:51Yep.
12:52Yeah.
12:52Our mums look after the daughters
12:53really, really well
12:54whereas the men
12:54don't look after their sons
12:56because they don't like
12:57talking about it.
12:57Well, people...
12:58They don't even like
12:58going to the doctors themselves.
13:00Eh, Josh?
13:00Oh, fine, I'll go.
13:02I've been checked.
13:03I get checked a lot.
13:05You like it?
13:06It's all right.
13:06It's pretty good, actually.
13:08Mark, it's not often
13:09we have someone
13:10of your stature
13:10on the show
13:11and so that photo there,
13:13is that the 87 World Cup?
13:14No.
13:15No?
13:16LAUGHTER
13:18Nice try.
13:19That is low.
13:20That is the bled is low.
13:20But you were in the 87
13:22World Cup winning team,
13:23weren't you?
13:23Have you ever bought
13:24a beer since then?
13:26Not a lot.
13:28And then you became
13:29captain, I think,
13:30for about three years,
13:31is that right?
13:3287 to 90?
13:3387 to 90, yeah.
13:34Yeah.
13:35And how many games
13:36did the All Blacks lose
13:37during your captaincy?
13:38None.
13:39Woo!
13:40CHEERING
13:42Can I, uh...
13:45No, we didn't play
13:46as much rugby
13:47as what they do today.
13:48They play 15 games a year.
13:49We played five.
13:50Yeah.
13:51Five or six per annum.
13:52But then, infamously,
13:54you were dismissed
13:55from the team
13:56and that's where
13:57the bring-back buck
13:58started from.
13:59Do you still get
13:59the bring-back buck?
14:00Did that ever stop?
14:01It went on for years.
14:02It'll cost me a lot
14:03of money to keep it going.
14:04LAUGHTER
14:07APPLAUSE
14:11I didn't have time
14:12to come back.
14:13Yeah.
14:13Have you ever experienced
14:15the fact that when it comes
14:15to talking about men's health
14:17and particularly anything
14:18to do with, like,
14:19testicular area,
14:20it far too often
14:22gets sidetracked
14:22by sad old man
14:23talking about rugby?
14:25LAUGHTER
14:27Well, um...
14:27I suppose part and parcel
14:29of that problem
14:31I had many years ago,
14:32they just cleaned it up,
14:34sewed it up,
14:35put it back in
14:35and we carried on
14:37with life.
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38And I had a hernia
14:39last year
14:40and basically
14:40the surgeon went in
14:42and he said,
14:43what a bloody mess
14:43that was in there.
14:44Oh, really?
14:45Well, the scar tissue.
14:46Right.
14:47OK.
14:47Because when it came out
14:49it was down
14:49behind my knees.
14:51LAUGHTER
14:52I can't understand
14:53why we don't talk
14:54about this more.
14:55LAUGHTER
14:56That's the best thing
14:57that's ever happened.
14:58How do you keep playing?
15:00I mean...
15:00Well, I picked up
15:01the little puppy
15:01and, you know,
15:02they're pretty big,
15:03you know,
15:03outside the sack.
15:05You know?
15:05You have a doppelganger
15:07with one testicle
15:07in Venice Airport
15:08and selling it.
15:10LAUGHTER
15:11LAUGHTER
15:11Great stuff.
15:12Give it up for Buck Shelford.
15:13Sir Buck Shelford.
15:14Thank you so much.
15:16Thank you, Jeremy.
15:17All the best.
15:18All the best.
15:18You are done.
15:19And congratulations,
15:20team two gets the star.
15:22Well done.
15:23APPLAUSE
15:26Real New Zealand royalty
15:28in studio.
15:29The message there,
15:29check your nuts.
15:30All right, um,
15:31let's get cooking
15:32with the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
15:33This week we're going to party
15:34like it's 1999.
15:36That's where we're going back
15:37to Team One Europe.
15:38I'd like you to cast your eyes
15:40to the screen
15:40and tell me what this is all about.
15:42It has disgusted many Aucklanders,
15:44sparking a steady stream
15:45of onlookers
15:46since the news break this morning.
15:48This is Jeremy Corbett's
15:49first and only
15:50topless photo shoot.
15:52Well, was it when I very bravely
15:54wore Chappelle Roan's dress?
15:57LAUGHTER
15:58That was the cutting down
16:00of the titular tree
16:01on One Tree Hill
16:02by Māori activist Mike Smith.
16:04Unfortunately,
16:04cutting down the tree
16:05on One Tree Hill,
16:06still not enough
16:06to stop you two
16:07from releasing new music.
16:08All right, time for another break.
16:10Don't go anywhere
16:10because shortly we'll be
16:11spinning our chairs around
16:13for Cassie Henderson
16:14in Slice of Seven
16:15on Seven Days.
16:16CHEERING
16:28Oh, rock on New Zealand
16:30and welcome back to Seven Days.
16:32It is time to put on
16:32your festive fits
16:33and start preloading
16:34because it's Slice of Seven time
16:35and on the main stage
16:37we have pop superstar
16:38Cassie Henderson.
16:39CHEERING
16:42OK, teams,
16:43pretty straightforward.
16:44Cassie will serenade you
16:45with some songs
16:46that have been cleverly rewritten
16:47to contain hints
16:48to some banging news stories.
16:49Team One,
16:50you are up first.
16:51Are you ready?
16:52Yes.
16:53Cassie,
16:53in your own time.
16:54Take it away.
16:59A long time ago
17:02We had a referendum
17:05We all said no
17:07Cost over 20 million
17:11Ten years have passed
17:13So fly at half-mast
17:16But what should we put
17:19on the polls?
17:22I guess we'll just
17:24chuck up the old one
17:26and see
17:28Cause nobody wanted
17:30a new flag junkie
17:33All the designs
17:35were cursed and junkie
17:39Most were devised
17:41by old white honkies
17:44like Corby
17:46Sorry
17:46Oh
17:51No thanks
17:53New flags
17:54New flags
17:56Now people will still think
18:01we're Aussie
18:02The new flags
18:05The old flag
18:08Oh, we should have picked
18:11The laser kiwi
18:22What a song
18:23Amazing, amazing.
18:24It was like you took my brain out
18:26and you put it in a bowl
18:27of warm custard.
18:29That's a good thing.
18:30That's the first time
18:31I've been called an old honky
18:32in song
18:32and I feel quite proud.
18:35In the beginning
18:36I thought
18:36when you said referendum
18:38I thought we were talking
18:38about the euthanasia
18:40referendum
18:40which I voted in favour of
18:42because I thought
18:42we were going to kill
18:43David Seymour first
18:45but it wasn't that one.
18:48Well, no, it's not that
18:49because we've got a weird
18:50run with referenda
18:51don't we?
18:53We'd, no
18:55National identity
18:55which is what we'll get to
18:56in a second
18:57no, you know
18:58kill old people
18:58yeah, f**k yeah
18:59but no, this is
19:01laser kiwi
19:02looking like Australia
19:04this is the flag
19:05from a while ago.
19:06Can I just interrupt
19:07to say that
19:07when you said
19:08the plural of referendum
19:09is referenda
19:10I found that really hot.
19:14I might go feed
19:15my octopi at home.
19:19That's another thing
19:20I've got in my house
19:21I'm not sure.
19:24Yes, as Jeremy rightly said
19:26the flag referendum
19:27was a thing
19:27that happened in the country
19:29and we remember it
19:30kindly.
19:30Why is it in the news?
19:32Yes.
19:34I'll tell you
19:35It's 10 years old
19:36it's 10 years old
19:37yes, correct
19:37this week marks
19:3810 whole years
19:39since New Zealand
19:39amazing isn't it
19:40they had that
19:41$26 million referendum
19:42to change our national flag
19:43the problem with New Zealand
19:45is we don't
19:45really have pride
19:46I don't think
19:47in our flag
19:48so I googled
19:48pride flag
19:49and it was a rainbow
19:50I was like
19:51weird
19:52the guy holding it
19:53was absolutely jack though
19:56but we all really wanted
19:57if we were going to change
19:59it was just the silver fern
20:00on the black flag
20:00which was kind of
20:01already in existence
20:02but that wasn't an option
20:04thank you Isis
20:07There's a similar debate
20:08happening in the United States
20:09at the moment
20:10where they're trying to decide
20:11between the stars and stripes
20:12and the
20:13I think it's pronounced
20:14swastika
20:16Jesus
20:17Remember the final as well
20:19it was like
20:19down to like
20:20four ferns
20:22but it were just
20:22different colours
20:23the ones behind you
20:25Oh yeah
20:26yeah
20:26I mean it's like
20:27it's not like a referendum
20:28it's like a
20:29HR firm
20:30coming up with
20:31a new logo
20:32for a mid-tier
20:33accounting firm
20:34Oh was it
20:35Laser Kiwi
20:35that's the one
20:36we should have got it
20:36You know that was
20:37actually a photo
20:37it was just
20:38taken on an oppo
20:40The problem is
20:41you can't have
20:42a Laser Kiwi
20:43as our flag
20:43because that would
20:44give away
20:44defence secrets
20:46Yeah true
20:46If we wanted
20:47the Laser Kiwi flag
20:49to get through
20:49we probably should have
20:50done the weed referendum
20:50before the flag
20:52Yes
20:53You know
20:54And then
20:56It's not
20:57because a lot of
20:58people didn't vote
20:59for a new flag
20:59It's not
21:00I don't think
21:01anyone likes the flag
21:02you know
21:02It's just
21:03It's just
21:03Oh can we get
21:04four stars
21:05It's not bad
21:07Hey
21:08Thank you
21:09Good night
21:10It's doing
21:10It's doing alright now
21:12Team 2
21:13it is your turn
21:14now
21:14for what news story
21:15Cassie is singing
21:16about here
21:16I'm not scared
21:18of the coming
21:20apocalypse
21:20cause I dug a hole
21:22in the middle
21:23of my basement
21:25please visit me
21:26I packed for DVDs
21:32And now I've loaded up
21:34on cans
21:35to live under the land
21:37I said goodbye to Tans
21:39Now it's time
21:41to hunker down
21:46This bunker ought to fit us both in
21:50Better vibes than the one in Berlin
21:54I'm not scared to cut my own hair
21:58I'm willing to share my last tin of cat food
22:04Yeah, we'll all be dead soon
22:08Wow, what do we
22:13What do we think?
22:14Um, I heard a lot of stuff about underground
22:16Underground, yeah
22:17Underground Berlin
22:17So
22:18Yeah, okay
22:19Yeah
22:20Well, I think I know
22:21We can talk it over a bit more
22:22Oh, you want to?
22:23Yeah
22:24You're not confident with me?
22:26Not really
22:26We're not confident with you at all, Jet
22:28Um
22:29Is me having a captain on work experience?
22:33Alright
22:34Bunkers, I reckon it's about
22:37End of the world?
22:38Yeah
22:38Because you think everyone's going to die?
22:40Yeah
22:40End of the world
22:40Okay, Jeremy
22:42People are getting more into bunkers
22:45Which you would know all about
22:46From the London Blitz
22:47When you were on your OE
22:49I don't know
22:51With all the troubles in the world
22:52There's been an increase in people
22:54Inquiring about building a bunker
22:55In New Zealand
22:56To avoid the incoming apocalypse
22:58A lot of people are doing
22:59My wife has actually started work
23:00On one in our backyard
23:01Yeah
23:02She hasn't made much progress
23:04To be honest
23:04The hole's only about six foot deep
23:06And about as long as I am
23:07That's it
23:09Not a great effort
23:10If I'm honest
23:11Didn't she just get her gun licence as well?
23:12Yeah, got her gun licence
23:13Yeah
23:13And also, she's not digging it, eh?
23:15It's the pool guy
23:15She's got
23:16Yeah, yeah
23:17Off the shirt off, real hot
23:18He is jacked
23:19Fuck, he is
23:20I feel like the only type of people
23:22Who like bunkers
23:24Are billionaires
23:25Or Joseph Fritzel
23:26And to be honest
23:26I don't know who I trust less
23:29But you don't need to necessarily get an invite
23:31To someone's bunker
23:32It doesn't always happen
23:33Yeah, it hasn't stopped you in the past
23:35Has it?
23:37Hi, Hilary
23:38I found your bunker
23:42It's not always a case of being invited
23:44Into someone's bunker
23:44Or building your own
23:45Sometimes you just wake up
23:46And like you're in the bunker
23:48And you don't know how you got there
23:49Eh, eh, Tomo?
23:53Yeah, I'm not sure the idea
23:54Of spending the entire apocalypse
23:56In an underground location
23:57With Josh and canned goods
23:59Is my idea of living the dream
24:02Well, when the cans run out
24:04Let's see who lasts, mate
24:07Great stuff from Cassie Henderson
24:08On the show for Slice 7
24:10You can catch her in Auckland
24:11Christchurch this April
24:12On the Lightning and the Stars tour
24:15Tickets at CassieHenderson.com
24:17Give it up for Cassie Henderson
24:23Thank you, Cassie
24:25Absolutely outstanding
24:26For points, team 1
24:27You can have 62,000
24:28That's the amount spent
24:29By the Whanganui District Council
24:31To design a new logo
24:33And that was completed
24:34After research found
24:35Most residents could not recall
24:37The council's existing logo
24:38Team 2
24:39You can have 1.1 million
24:41That is the amount per week
24:43In New Zealand dollars
24:45Liverpool player Mo Salah
24:46Is giving up
24:46After terminating his contract
24:4812 months early
24:49The Egyptian king
24:50Has left the building
24:51And the staff of that round
24:52Goes to team 2
24:56Alright, I'm going to get
24:57A photo with Cassie
24:58To get some clout on the socials
24:59While I do that
25:01Let's take a break
25:01Be back shortly
25:02With Club Topicana
25:03See you soon
25:15Oh yes, we are back
25:17You are back
25:17We're all doing seven days
25:19I hope you have enough gas
25:20In your tank to get to the coast
25:22Because we're hitting the beach
25:23For Club Topicana
25:24Play those steel drums
25:34Just a little reminder
25:36As we do
25:37Club Topicana
25:38Is brought to you by
25:38Dole Pineapples
25:40Pineapples grow on the ground
25:41Not in trees
25:42So it shouldn't actually be called
25:43A pine apple
25:44Should it?
25:44It should be called
25:45A pine potato
25:46Inside my pine potato
25:47I have a selection of you stories
25:49That tickled my taste buds
25:50This week
25:50Let's crack into them
25:51And see what the teams
25:52Can give us
25:53Here we go
25:53Our first story
25:54A contestant on Maths Australia
25:56Has complained
25:56She received what she calls
25:58A villain edit on the show
25:59It's good to know
26:01What an Australian villain
26:02Would look like
26:02But I'd like to see
26:03Something closer to home
26:04I'd like you to give me
26:05Some examples
26:05Of Kiwi super villains
26:07Please
26:10Oh yeah
26:11Nah I'm not that evil
26:12I mean there's heaps of people
26:13More evil than me
26:14But cheers
26:19Hi
26:20I'm the Briscoes lady
26:21And guess what
26:22The sale's f***ing ended
26:25You missed it
26:31You're done for Batman
26:33I'm now going to lower you
26:35Into this pool of bloodthirsty
26:38White tails
26:40Enjoy your mild to moderate symptoms
26:53A census taker once tried to test me Clary
26:57I ate his liver with tomato sauce and a double brown
27:06So good
27:09New Zealand you had your chance ten years ago
27:12But now laser Kiwi shall raise all of your buildings
27:21Hey so what's your superpower
27:23I guess it's kind of weird
27:24But I can get one of my testicles taken out
27:27And then I can put it back in myself
27:34I am traffic cone woman
27:36What's that?
27:37A perfectly functioning intersection
27:40Not on my watch
27:47Welcome to my underground lair
27:49Oh I've spent millions on it
27:52Mainly on the resource consent
27:57Oh it's got the bloody floodplains
27:59The council's not doing the better
28:01I'll tell you what
28:01So how many bloody rates do I have to pay?
28:04You know what I'm saying?
28:10Oh Robin no
28:11I can't fight the penguin
28:12I can't
28:13Why not Batman?
28:14Oh Kelly Tarleton's $50 entry
28:23Yeah Mr. Bloody Bond
28:25Yeah bloody
28:25So you come down
28:29He's trying to do a three-sack
28:29I was coming on Friday
28:31I was going to have the humidity down there
28:34So I'm putting the second idea
28:35Yeah you probably have to go
28:36He's having a gas
28:39Alright hooray
28:44Alright let's go to our next story
28:45Ah yes children's books
28:47Harry McCleary author
28:49Lindley Dodd
28:49Received the Fisher Funds Legacy Award
28:51At the New Zealand Door of the Year
28:52Celebrations last week
28:53Well deserved
28:54Harry McCleary
28:55A wonderful family series
28:57But not particularly what I'm after
28:59I'd rather see examples
29:01Of inappropriate children's books
29:03Please
29:07Harry McCleary did a ram raid
29:09On Donaldson's dairy
29:15Well I got my Harry McCleary
29:17Out at Donaldson's dairy
29:19And I
29:22They asked me to leave
29:29It's time for the Beatrix Potter classic
29:32Pedo Rabbit
29:41Tonight kids
29:42Bluey does a shoey
29:48And then James said
29:50This isn't the giant peach
29:52I was expecting
29:56God
29:57Do you like green eggs and ham
30:00Cos ACT have got a new lunch plan
30:06Lotto have announced
30:07They're making the biggest changes
30:08To Powerball in 19 years
30:10The inclusion of four new balls
30:12It will make it harder to win
30:14But it is still possible
30:15I've always wanted to know
30:16What that would be like
30:17So teams
30:18Give me some scenes
30:19From the first day
30:20Of being a millionaire
30:24Yeah mum good news
30:26Yeah I can pay back
30:27A quarter of what I owe you
30:28Cool
30:32Oh go on
30:35Fill it up
30:3698
30:42Wow
30:43I can afford mints
30:48Ah thank you for the invite
30:51Corby
30:52So tell me about this island
31:01$4.90
31:02I've just got this $5 note
31:06Keep the change
31:11Oh
31:12Seat select on a flight
31:14Don't mind if I do
31:24Oh
31:25Sorry mate
31:26I haven't got anything on me
31:28Yeah but thanks for cleaning
31:30The windscreen though
31:35Sorry mine
31:36You're wounding down
31:37You can't electric it up
31:39I probably haven't got a new car
31:40It's my first day
31:41Have you got both
31:42You've got a winding and a
31:43Show your mouth
31:44Show your mouth
31:44All right sorry guys
31:47I have to apologise
31:47Tomo's body oil
31:49Has formed a slick
31:50We have to close the beach
31:51Grab your stuff
31:51Sit back down
31:52Play the steel drums
32:03All righty
32:04For points team
32:05You're going to have 25
32:0625%
32:07That is what David Cunliffe
32:09Led Labor to
32:10In the 2014 election
32:11The lowest Labor result
32:13In MMP history
32:14Not in all of MMP history
32:17Which I said last week
32:18On the show
32:19Apologies
32:19Thank you for correcting us
32:21Brian
32:21The lowest actually
32:23Bill English for National
32:242002
32:25You've got 21%
32:26All right
32:26So you get 20
32:2725
32:27Team 2
32:28You get zero
32:29The amount of hot cross buns
32:30I will be ordering
32:31From Australian supermarket Coles
32:32After they launch
32:33The new nacho cheese
32:34And jalapeno flavour
32:35Ew
32:37Jesus would be spinning
32:38In his grave
32:39Team 1 gets the star
32:40Well done
32:41Such a beautiful
32:42Okay team 2
32:44I'm coming to you
32:45Your turn to head back
32:46To 1999
32:47Now with a burger
32:48Fueled brain grill
32:48Take a look at this picture
32:49And tell me what it's all about
32:50I definitely did not
32:52Have sex with that woman
32:55Is it
32:58Clinton offends New Zealand
32:59With poor attempt at
33:01Haka
33:03Oh cool flag
33:08That is Bill Clinton
33:09Speaking to
33:10Our first female Prime Minister
33:11Jenny Shipley
33:12During bilateral meetings
33:13In Christchurch
33:13Which reminds me
33:14I need to pop back
33:15To my own Oval Office
33:16Right now
33:16Not a euphemism
33:18Let's take a break
33:18Stick around though
33:19Because up next
33:20Is Jeremy's special game
33:21On 7 Days
33:22See you soon
33:34Hey there
33:35Good to see you again
33:36That is right
33:37We are still here
33:38It is 7 Days
33:39Tonight we actually
33:40Have 5 people
33:41Who were on the
33:42First ever season
33:43Of 7 Days
33:43Back in 2009
33:44Jazzy, Corey
33:46Jeremy and Michelle
33:47And of course myself
33:48I'm feeling a bit
33:49Nostalgic about that
33:50So tonight
33:50For Jeremy's special game
33:51We're going right back
33:52To where it all began
33:53With a game of answers
33:55One of my favourites
33:56I'm going to give you
33:57Some answers
33:57From the week of news
33:58All you have to do
33:59Is give me the questions
34:00To match
34:00And team 1
34:01You can start off
34:02With this answer
34:03South Island
34:04Shipping container
34:05What was my nickname
34:06At high school?
34:10Where does New World
34:12Draw the line
34:13With their
34:13Bring your own
34:14Container policy?
34:17What is stop 7
34:19On the Invercargill
34:20Hop on hop off
34:20Tourist bus?
34:22Where have they
34:23Not looked for
34:23Madeline McCann?
34:26Is it
34:27What is the government
34:27Giving us
34:28Instead of a new
34:29Inter-island ferry?
34:31What do I call
34:33My underwear?
34:34Wow
34:35Why are you doing
34:36The eyebrow thing at me?
34:37This is
34:38You know why Jeremy
34:40I'm looking forward
34:41To our cargo inspection
34:44Begin the fumigation
34:48Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
34:53I'm hearing a banging
34:54Coming from inside
34:58Where do you pack
34:59The Southern Alps
35:00During off season?
35:04Is it
35:04What is my stripper name?
35:08All right the question
35:09There is
35:10Where was 35kg
35:11Of cocaine
35:12Found last October?
35:13Wow
35:13It didn't stop
35:15The coke train though
35:15Police records show
35:16That the last quarter
35:17Of 2025
35:18Had the highest use
35:19Of cocaine
35:20In New Zealand's history
35:21Wow
35:21I just think
35:22Cocaine use
35:23Should not be up
35:24At a time like this
35:25I urge restraint
35:26With cocaine
35:26Apparently New Zealand
35:28Only has about
35:2848 days worth
35:29Of cocaine left
35:30So take it easy
35:32Cocaine has become
35:33So popular in New Zealand
35:35It's now beating
35:36Luxon
35:36In the preferred
35:37Prime Minister
35:39To be careful though
35:41Because it's not
35:41All good stuff
35:42Like the other day
35:43I found some cocaine
35:44In my friend's shoe
35:45Long story short
35:46Turns out
35:47I snorted
35:48Grand's Remedy
35:49So
35:51It is getting pretty bad
35:52I hongied a guy
35:53Last week
35:54And I got a contact
35:54Hide
36:13All right
36:14We're moving on
36:15Team 2
36:15Your turn now
36:16Here's the answer for you
36:17What is the question
36:17Middle aged man
36:18Who is the worst
36:22Who magically appears
36:23When you're backing
36:24A trailer
36:26Left hand out
36:27Left hand out
36:30Is it
36:31What were you
36:32If you lived
36:32Till 12
36:33In Victorian English times
36:37Who do I love
36:38So much
36:39When they try
36:39To explain
36:40Menopause to me
36:42Who
36:42Who did
36:43It's got men
36:44In the titles
36:44Yes
36:45It's also got
36:46F***ing paws
36:47Yeah
36:51Who did the woman
36:52In the chat room
36:53I agreed to meet up
36:54With turn out to be
36:55Oh
36:58And how are you getting on
36:59Fine
37:01He's got very gentle
37:03Kind hands
37:04Good
37:05What did my husband
37:06Become when I wasn't looking
37:09I love it
37:10I love it
37:11I love it
37:11I think that's wonderful
37:12It's so nice of you
37:13We're going to have to have a referenda on this
37:16We're going to have to have a referenda on this
37:18And what was Justine Smith's stripper name
37:27Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack
37:29Control attack
37:35Come on, let's do this
37:38Okay, okay
37:39Okay
37:39It's either
37:40It's either a fight or a lap dance
37:42I'm not
37:46I'm not sure who's giving
37:48And who's taking
37:50Alright
37:50The question is
37:51What is the real identity
37:52Of notorious street artist Banksy
37:54After Reuters outed him this week
37:55As a 53-year-old Bristol native
37:57By the name of Robin Gunningham
37:59Always a bit disappointing, isn't it
38:01When you find out
38:01The true identity
38:02Of an anonymous artist
38:04Like when I found out
38:05Susie Cato
38:06Is just jazzy
38:07When she's remembered
38:07To take her meds
38:12Go for him
38:12Go for him
38:14Lap dance coming
38:23This has kind of ruined it
38:24For the losers
38:25That used to go out to town
38:26And try and pick up girls
38:27And tell them
38:28That they're like
38:28The real Banksy
38:29I wonder if he got found out
38:34Because he went
38:34And this is my picture
38:37It's huge
38:37Alright
38:38For points
38:39Team 1 you can have 86
38:40That is the age of Hollywood legend
38:42All round tough guy
38:43Chuck Norris
38:44When he passed away
38:45This week in Hawaii
38:45Up until this point
38:46Death had been too afraid
38:48To not
38:48Alright
38:49Team 2 you can have 260
38:51That is dollars
38:51The amount a pie sold for
38:53On Trade Me this week
38:54Pastry containing gold flakes
38:56Wagyu beef filling
38:57Gravy made from expensive wine
38:59It was baked by the baker Tito
39:00And all of the proceeds
39:02Went to charity
39:02This is not a charity
39:04Is it this show
39:05It is a competition
39:06One that Team 2 is winning
39:07With yet another star
39:13Nearly time for a bit of a break
39:14But not before we give you at home
39:15The chance to play
39:16The Burger Fuel Brain Grill
39:17Have a look at this
39:19Have a look at that
39:19Yes
39:20Then head to the 7 Days Instagram
39:21Or Facebook page
39:22And let us know
39:23Your caption
39:24You could be dining
39:25On some premium
39:26Unlettered Burger Fuel
39:27You do that
39:28I'm going to reflect for 4 minutes
39:29While staring blankly at a wall
39:31Then we'll return
39:31With Beat the Ding
39:33Can't wait
39:45Thank you so much
39:46For coming back
39:47For the final part of 7 Days
39:48You'll be glad you did
39:49Because we are going to go out hot
39:51With a game of Beat the Ding
39:52Teams
39:52I'll give you each a list of things
39:54That I need you to name
39:55In an allotted time
39:56Succeed
39:57You win a star
39:58For your team
39:58Fail
39:59The nation will laugh at you
40:00Not with you
40:01Alright
40:02We've already mentioned
40:03Lindley Dodd's award
40:04In the New Zealand
40:04Of the Year celebrations
40:05Michelle
40:06You have 11 seconds
40:07To name 5 characters
40:09From Harry McCleary
40:10Go
40:10Harry McCleary
40:12Bits of Maloney
40:14Yes
40:15Something McGee
40:19Schnitzel Von Crumb
40:20And
40:21Two more
40:22Oh
40:23No
40:24Oh not quite
40:25Yeah
40:26Yeah tough challenge
40:28A tough challenge
40:28No star
40:29I'm sorry Michelle
40:30Digital ID is coming
40:31Soon
40:32You will not need to carry
40:33That pesky driver's licence
40:34In your wallet anymore
40:35Jeremy Elwood
40:36Ten seconds to name
40:37Six things you keep
40:38In a wallet
40:38Go
40:40Harry McCleary books
40:42My credit cards
40:43Another credit card
40:44For when the first
40:45Credit card gets declined
40:47My golf membership card
40:50Four
40:50Ten year old condoms
40:55Yeah
40:57Not everything I listed
40:58Was true
41:01We've just got to go
41:01Back to a photo finish there
41:03What am I hearing
41:04No star
41:05Time
41:05What
41:05It's time
41:06They're calling time on it
41:07Okay
41:08A woman was sentenced
41:09To home detention on Monday
41:10After stealing $12,000 worth of mouthguards
41:13From the Highlanders rugby team
41:14Last year
41:15Josh you have 10 seconds
41:16To put in this mouthguard
41:17And name 5 rugby players
41:19I'll let you put it in
41:21Go
41:21Go
41:28Get it in
41:30I got it in
41:31What you call me?
41:31Brock Salford
41:31Yes
41:31Brendan Ponga
41:34A leg player
41:36Christopher
41:38Walken
41:41.
41:42What's he with you?
41:46Wayne Schofford.
41:47No it's so good.
41:49No it's so good!
41:50Dan Schofford.
41:51Oh!
41:54No staff.
41:55It's not moulded.
41:55All right, English football's iconic Premier League trophy
41:59has been in New Zealand this week.
42:01I didn't know that.
42:01Corey, you have 10 seconds to name 7 Premier League teams
42:04in a British accent, please.
42:06Go.
42:06Liverpool, Arsenal, Tottenham.
42:12Chelsea, Brighton Albion, Wolves, Burnley.
42:18Yeah that'll do, that'll do.
42:21Congratulations Corey, you to style, well done.
42:26A theme park based on Minecraft is opening in the UK next year.
42:29Jazzy, you love your theme parks.
42:30You have nine seconds to name three different theme parks and three Jack Black movies.
42:35Go. Shut up, just in the end. Universal, Wet n Wild, High Fidelity, Jumanji, Happy Feet.
42:48Was he in Happy Feet?
42:50I'll kill you.
42:53Robin Williams was in Happy Feet but no Jack Black, no star. Sorry Jazzy.
42:58Alright.
43:01I need a mouth guard that wasn't moulded.
43:04Give the people what they want.
43:06Yep, got it.
43:07We move on.
43:09The Auckland leg of the sanitarium Weet-Bix Kids triathlon was on this week.
43:12Jack, you know about this. You're actually infamous.
43:15I don't know if you know but he snuck into one of these as an adult.
43:19For your sins I will give you ten seconds to run a lap of the studio eating a dry Weet
43:23-Bix.
43:24What the hell?
43:25Jack, who better?
43:26Have your Weet-Bix.
43:27Three, two, one, go!
43:28You run! You run!
43:29Run, run!
43:31Run, run!
43:35Run!
43:37Run!
43:37Run!
43:38Run!
43:38Now whistle!
43:40Okay.
43:42I'll pay it, I'll pay it. You get a star. Well done Jack.
43:45He gets it.
43:47Team two.
43:49One.
43:50That wraps up our show for the week.
43:52We just need to crown our winner and after counting the stars I can confirm the winning
43:55team for this week is team two. Congratulations.
43:59Team one, get busy.
44:02Enjoy being carried around like a champion all week.
44:06Jack, you are the team captain. You get to sit on my palanquin.
44:11And please clean the palanquin before you return it to me.
44:15That is great.
44:15Thank you all at home for watching and for being in our live studio tonight.
44:19Without you we're just seven friends hanging out in a room.
44:21So please help me to thank those friends.
44:23They are Josh, Michelle, Jeremy, Jack, Jazzy and Corey.
44:26We'll see you in seven days on seven days. Good night. Thank you.
44:40Thank you New Zealand On Air.
44:43I'm the captain now.
44:46Up! Up!
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