- 15 hours ago
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00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:14Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shits normally
00:18created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine. I reckon it
00:23will help them visualize me as bod.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're insane.
00:28This could cost you the role.
00:33Saju, have you ever been waiting for me?
00:36Mommy, you met Felicia.
00:37This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:43Remember I said wait in a car and I'm going to get the sweet.
00:45No, it's okay.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49Teron.
00:50Same as you, just babysitting bonnets.
00:52Now only auntie's waiting for you.
00:53It's a disgrace.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:58My shat is just perfect for the job.
01:00I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:02Mama, I want a license to kill.
01:05Remember, Shahjum?
01:06Oh, how specific?
01:07I don't remember that.
01:09Yeah.
01:10Oh, look, he's got the meat tag.
01:11I'll just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, Mr. Khin.
01:14You're not the only Asian black lady.
01:17I'm sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:27You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen.
01:36None of this matters, okay?
01:39No one reads the fucking news.
01:41However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm, and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the Jaya Buddha's head,
01:49but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
01:52and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a can of straight paint, Shahjum.
02:01Yeah, in hindsight.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine.
02:04Just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:05All right.
02:06So how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no.
02:08You have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the fan today.
02:19I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community,
02:24for the people that you say you're doing all of this for.
02:30Has he got more followers of me?
02:31Shah!
02:33Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it, or seen it.
02:42Oh, I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment,
02:45I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:53And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me
02:58than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way.
03:04It hurts me deeply.
03:05You're good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So, you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:14Oxford educated, but no sense.
03:17Why didn't you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:19Come, let's take a selfie.
03:49And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power
03:51and to compete with you.
03:52Bad shot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:55Don't talk, Felty.
03:59Alberta?
04:00She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:08You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:09Mangey Naila.
04:10Naughty Naila.
04:11Oh, my God.
04:13Mangey Naila.
04:13She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:16Look, where is she?
04:17She's probably too busy checking herself out in a mirror
04:19to come host her own party.
04:34Samina.
04:35Good morning.
04:36Good morning.
04:38So happy you could come.
04:40We've decided to co-host this year.
04:41This year, you've done a great job, Tahira.
04:44But you know, Naughty Naila,
04:45how do you do it?
04:46She doesn't have to do it.
04:48She doesn't have to do it.
04:50I'm going to put it in a shahjou's penthouse.
04:53The Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:56Please, eat it in the garden.
04:57Eid Mubarak.
04:59Eid Mubarak.
05:00Eid Mubarak.
05:01What the fuck?
05:02Don't leave my sight.
05:03Okay.
05:03Don't leave my sight.
05:05Eid Mubarak.
05:07He's coming.
05:08Hello, ladies.
05:10Eid Mubarak.
05:11Eid Mubarak.
05:12Eid Mubarak.
05:13Eid Mubarak.
05:14Eid Mubarak.
05:15In Saint Saint.
05:17Now he has passed.
05:18You're the eldest.
05:19No, thank you.
05:20I'm fine standing.
05:22Baba.
05:22Go your favor.
05:23Don't tell me, yeah?
05:24Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
05:26By raising the blood sugar?
05:29Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
05:31Married a single.
05:34Maybe.
05:34Yeah, maybe.
05:35Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:36Something with Mehra Khan in it.
05:38No, no, you're going to be a Pakistani film.
05:45Wait, I'm going to have a spot right now.
05:47I know.
05:54Sure, good first try, good first try.
05:57But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words, I'm sorry.
06:02Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He's buff, no?
06:05Keith says he's gone mental.
06:07Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:08Sorry, can you mum focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12Well, this guy likes you.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop.
06:20You said community like ten times.
06:22It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe down the brow.
06:25I don't get it.
06:26What is a problem?
06:27I love you.
06:28What's up, man?
06:29I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get a wife done?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34This is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone.
06:37Charlotte Eiff here.
06:38Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:40a brother and I came into conflict.
06:43I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:46And the brother in question, perhaps,
06:48should not have run at me with a metal object
06:50the way that he did.
06:52Ruba is a community-led...
06:55It's not a fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future, I promise to use my platform
07:00not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:04Bro.
07:05Ruba is full.
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:09No.
07:11Ruba.
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good, are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro.
07:14We good?
07:15I'm good, are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:16What good then?
07:18Ruba, not Ruba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19Trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22Alright.
07:23Yes.
07:23Yo, they got them little laddus over there
07:25with the pink and green balls on it.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Aren't you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:33Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:35Move her forward, that's me.
07:37No, I don't have time.
07:39Move the big ones.
07:40I don't have a chance.
07:42Hey.
07:44Here I go.
07:44It's only gone.
07:45It's only gone.
07:45You came in there?
07:46Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:53Please, please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm not getting up.
07:57My name.
07:59My Salim is coming.
08:04Zalim, my child.
08:09Zalim.
08:14Zalim.
08:37Look, Mr. Tobai.
08:39Look at him, the dancing monkey.
08:42Doing his mother's dirty bidding.
08:43Making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
08:45Look.
08:45No, he's not, mummy.
08:46That was a joke that I just made.
08:50Oh, look at that fresh spray.
08:52Zulfi.
08:52Weakest of us all.
08:54Good, madame.
08:55Good, madame.
08:56Don't leave.
08:57Shahjus, she's coming.
08:57Don't leave.
08:58Shahbeta.
08:58Can I borrow your money for a minute?
09:00I need my co-host in the kitchen.
09:02Okay, we're just going to...
09:03Okay, okay.
09:04No, no, let's go.
09:04Let's go.
09:05Let's go.
09:05Let's go.
09:07Let's go.
09:09Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
09:12It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know?
09:15It's off the charts.
09:16People want more community-driven rideshare options.
09:18Yes, Salim.
09:19Yes.
09:19What are you saying, bro?
09:20Yes.
09:21Look at this guy.
09:22You good?
09:22Yeah.
09:23Come join us, man.
09:24Join us.
09:24I'll be busy.
09:25I've always been doing that anyway.
09:26Yeah, I've got you some noodles, bro.
09:28So I've never got your number.
09:29How you been?
09:30I've been good, bro.
09:30Yeah?
09:31You've been breaking shit.
09:32What do you mean by that?
09:35Glass ceilings.
09:37Try it, man.
09:37Try it.
09:38And I got his arm.
09:40It's just a fracture.
09:41Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here.
09:44Yeah.
09:44You know, our number of drivers are growing.
09:46By the day, we'll be in all key five boroughs by June, so...
09:49Move, bro.
09:50Sick idea, innit?
09:51I've been there from day one, I remember.
09:52Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
09:54Gus Smith is so proud.
09:54And you know what's amazing?
09:55He's always been an entrepreneur.
09:57If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
10:03Just out of interest, what was your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
10:08No problems whatsoever.
10:09No issues.
10:10And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
10:14It's not just five-bit of violent disorder.
10:15It was.
10:16It was self-defense.
10:17It was really before, in a way.
10:18He's a ride or die, and he was there for me.
10:19Any credit issues, though?
10:20No credit issues, because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
10:24So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
10:27Sorry, I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than series A.
10:32You see this conversation here?
10:33This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
10:37Right?
10:38And in fact, obviously, it's too close.
10:40Okay, give me back my dildos, then.
10:44Even for me personally, the most important quality by Amruba is, in fact, the quality of the relationships.
10:51We're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit.
10:55That's fake.
10:56Get the fuck off me, bro.
10:58I don't know.
11:01And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services.
11:03It's my thing.
11:04That's one thing I picked up in Dubai.
11:06That's what we do best, hospitality.
11:07That's our culture.
11:08One might say, the Muslim way of doing business.
11:11I love the idea.
11:12I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
11:14Well, you're taking this.
11:16You're trying to get investment from Dubai.
11:20Yeah, okay.
11:21Yeah.
11:22You been?
11:23No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with the, you know, all like, with the,
11:27well, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man?
11:30He ain't going to let you in, bro.
11:31You don't want to go there, man.
11:32I'm all in, yeah?
11:33Remember that.
11:37He was disrespectful.
11:38He referred to your quiff like that.
11:39There was no need.
11:40It was good.
11:41Shah, got your second apology.
11:44Yeah, that's not going to work.
11:45First of all, what was up with that background?
11:48If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich asshole.
11:51Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
11:54Oh, the first class interzaim kiya, Naila.
11:58Sanu se tums si isi kha.
12:00Next year, ETH is back at yours, na?
12:01No, absolutely, yes.
12:03Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
12:05Taira, bura mat manu.
12:08Sab kush teek hai na, karme?
12:11Eh, kyu?
12:13Eh, kuch ne.
12:14It's because, eh,
12:16I was watching Shajju and I thought,
12:19I worry for him.
12:21For all of you.
12:22It's so much pressure.
12:23That's very kind of you to worry.
12:25Naila, Patan.
12:26I see a bit of your sister in him.
12:35Does Shajju have someone you can talk to?
12:38He has me.
12:39Rukhaya had you too.
12:40But she needed more help, na?
12:43She doesn't know anything, she was...
12:46Naila, please.
12:48It's all good.
12:49My son is going to be the next James Bond.
12:51We all couldn't be more proud.
12:57It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
12:59Really?
12:59Really?
13:03It's all good.
13:05First class.
13:06First class.
13:59Shah, we need that apology.
14:01We're running out of time.
14:02I've literally written it out for you.
14:04Just find a quiet, neutral crew.
14:06Record it and send it back now.
14:08Before it's too fucking late.
14:09Okay?
14:14For fuck's sake.
14:32Mind interacting something?
14:35Yeah.
14:37A conversation.
14:39Can you fucking close the door, please?
14:42Is this like you two...
14:44I like her.
14:45Texting.
14:46Wow.
14:46So how long has this been going on?
14:48Six months.
14:49Three months?
14:50Okay, so this is nothing.
14:51Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
14:53I'm sure.
14:54I'm not going to tell anyone.
14:54Why don't I come here?
14:55Can we not do this in front of Shah?
14:56I came here for you.
14:57But I never asked you to, did I?
14:59But I asked me to.
15:00I never...
15:00Calm down.
15:01I never fucking asked you to.
15:02And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
15:04This is the whole problem.
15:05So just to clarify, you didn't come into Steve's Ulfie then for the thing?
15:07No.
15:08Yes.
15:08Does he know, by the way?
15:09Oh, for fuck's sake.
15:11Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
15:12I'm not going to say anything.
15:13I've got your back.
15:14I've got your back.
15:15Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
15:17Let's just be real about what this is, because this is, this is something, right?
15:20Me and you both know it.
15:21What does that even mean, bro?
15:24You, you live a million miles away, okay?
15:26You have a whole life.
15:27You have fucking house keys, car keys, so, so many keys, okay?
15:32I have one key.
15:33I can give you keys.
15:34I don't want your keys, okay?
15:35I want mine.
15:36Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective from my own
15:39more mature experience, yeah?
15:41I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
15:44All right?
15:45All right.
15:45Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
15:48There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
15:52All right?
15:53Yeah?
15:53You can relate, right?
15:54You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:57Instead of it going green, it goes gray.
16:00What does that mean to you?
16:02It means you're blocked.
16:05Fuck off, really?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Let me just show you this.
16:08Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
16:09Can I show you this quickly?
16:10No, no, no.
16:11Oi?
16:12Don't say anything to anyone.
16:13I'm chill.
16:15Salim, yeah?
16:20He's not fucking chill.
16:27With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
16:29Pasha?
16:30Okay.
16:32He recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
16:35I will lead.
16:36Seated?
16:36I won't be seated.
16:37Think about it.
16:38Let someone else lead.
16:40Listen, you ass-wipes.
16:42I can run circles around you idiots.
16:44I will lead.
16:53I will lead.
17:18Come on.
17:20Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
17:21La ilaha illa Allah.
17:24Allahu Akbar.
17:30Hey, Shah Latif here.
17:32I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
17:36and avoidable, and I'm deeply sorry.
17:39Hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
17:41Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim.
17:45Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
17:47Shah Latif here.
17:48Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object,
17:52and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
17:54Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah,
17:59Hi, Shah Latif here.
18:01Literally nothing to apologize for.
18:03Trying to save my career and my life.
18:05So fuck you and your little TikTok, you little...
18:11I don't know.
18:13Matt was among myます.
18:17Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah.
18:37Hello?
18:40Yeah, is this Sid?
18:42Yeah, hi.
18:43Hi, this is Shah Latif.
18:45Is it?
18:47Actually.
18:48Yeah, it is actually.
18:49Bro, I just want to say.
18:51I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
18:56No excuses.
18:57I was banging out of order.
19:01I just don't know what came over me.
19:02I really hope you can find it in your heart to please forgive me.
19:08Yo, I appreciate this, man.
19:11I really do.
19:12I was going to call my lawyers, but then the fact you called, man.
19:16Bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
19:18I can't tell you how much this means, man.
19:20Legit.
19:23Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
19:26Like in a recording?
19:29Sorry?
19:30I need the engagement, bro.
19:32Right.
19:33I mean, I guess so.
19:35Nice, Ryan.
19:36Appreciate it.
19:37Alright.
19:37Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
19:38Just remember, keep the bid under 90 for the algorithm here.
19:44I'll do anything.
19:45Alright, baby.
19:45All right, it's safe, thanks.
19:53Huh?!
19:58What it is?
19:59What it is?
19:59What it is?
20:01Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
20:03whaddle her?
20:04No, what?
20:04No?
20:05What happened?
20:06You felt moved.
20:07What?
20:08Why was he praying on a chair already?
20:09Shush.
20:09Do you want to sit down?
20:11Easy, easy.
20:12Baba, how's your breathing?
20:13Okay?
20:14You okay?
20:15Why didn't you sit him down?
20:16Well, now you want to be involved.
20:17What the fuck is that supposed to be?
20:18I'm doing something inside.
20:19It's for yourself.
20:19Don't come at me.
20:20You always fucking want to be the hero and you're never around.
20:22Alright, alright.
20:23Come on, mate.
20:24Baba?
20:26Is anyone getting any water?
20:27I'm going to do you want to get a blanket or something?
20:32Are you good, bro?
20:34Huh?
20:34Are you good?
20:35Are you dumb?
20:37He's a fucking diabetic and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
20:40Shabbat, bada.
20:41Shush, just fuck off again, yeah?
20:43You better when I'm not around.
20:44That's what you're saying.
20:44No, no, he's not my dad, he's your dad.
20:46Shush.
20:46Huh?
20:47Shush.
20:48You know what?
20:48You think you're a fucking bad man.
20:50Oh.
20:50Fucking yeah, my people is my bad.
20:52How the fuck are you going to help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
20:57It's okay with me.
20:57He's just crying about it last night, bro.
20:59You came in to take me.
21:00You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
21:01I thought you were giving out your little business cards.
21:02That's some sweaty old minicap driver.
21:04Hey, shut up.
21:04Blow it, blow it, bro.
21:05He's a leech, man.
21:06Tell the truth.
21:06He's been leeching off me my whole life.
21:08Why are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
21:09Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
21:11He's trying to chirp your little sister.
21:13What?
21:13Only chirping.
21:14I love her.
21:15What the fuck, man?
21:16Are you fucking...
21:17Are you mad?
21:18Listen, don't listen to him.
21:19He's lost the fucking plot.
21:20He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer.
21:21What?
21:22In the garage and he's been talking to it.
21:23You thought he was talking to a pig's head?
21:25What if I have?
21:25What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:37Why are you saying that to me?
21:39No, no, I'm asking.
21:40Why is he saying that to me?
21:41Baba, what did I do?
21:41What did I do?
21:42I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
21:43I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
21:45Well, you lot will judge me.
21:46Huh?
21:47Why are you fucking touching me?
21:48Don't touch me.
21:49I'm trying to change the world.
21:50All right?
21:51So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless thinking.
21:55Peter Paki, look at me.
21:56Get the fuck out of me.
21:57Oh, I've got a problem, am I?
21:59She blames you for what happened to your mum, bro.
22:00Shut up!
22:37I'm using this for my new dulcure.
22:39You ready?
22:41Amazing.
22:43One mixed brew.
22:45Wow!
22:46One biryani.
22:50Tortadol.
22:50Great!
22:51And some naan.
22:52Ah, thank you.
22:53Enjoy your meal.
22:54Let us know if you would like anything else.
22:55Oh, can I have some more water?
22:56Yeah, sure.
23:08Oh my god, Yasmin!
23:12What the fuck?
23:14What are you doing here?
23:16What are you doing here?
23:18Oh yeah, you come here every year on ETH, don't you?
23:21I totally forgot.
23:23You forgot?
23:24Yeah, I'm just here picking up some food.
23:27Right, what a coincidence.
23:30Actually, do you mind if I...
23:35What's happening?
23:37I just told you, I'm just here picking up some food.
23:38On the other side of London, at 9.30.
23:41On Eid?
23:43Yeah.
23:44Don't eat that.
23:45Why not?
23:46You won't like it.
23:47I think I know what I like.
23:48It's chicken, not lamb.
23:51Why would you get the chicken?
23:52Trying new things.
23:54Is that okay?
23:55No.
23:55It'd be weird, because the lamb's a signature.
23:57Okay, so you're here because of the article.
23:58Can we stop pretending?
24:01I'm sorry, what article?
24:03Are you being serious right now?
24:05I'm sorry if I missed your...
24:07What is it?
24:07An article?
24:08That sounds fun.
24:09Tell me about it.
24:09You're doubling down on this.
24:10Right.
24:12Dude, you know how it's like.
24:13I've got busy.
24:14You're busy.
24:15Well, I'm sure you're not fixated on every little thing that I'm doing, right?
24:17This is a strong take.
24:18I've got to hand it to you.
24:19I don't know what you mean.
24:20It sounds like you think I'm like killing myself to be something that I'm not.
24:24And you memorized it.
24:25That's sad.
24:27Who's that?
24:27Oh, are you sad?
24:28I'm not sad.
24:28I've been having a great time.
24:29I've been swapping out political art for vanilla distraction.
24:33Can you stop quoting my article, please?
24:34Which is inherently a fun thing to do.
24:35Which is inherently a fun thing to do.
24:35And it's not even about you, actually.
24:37Oh, it's not about me.
24:38Full disclosure.
24:39Shar Latif and I know one another and have spent time together socially?
24:43Is that how you're going to describe our relationship?
24:45Well, that's how you describe our relationship, right?
24:47And you calm down.
24:48These people are not your audience.
24:49You're ruining their dinner and mine.
24:51This is revenge porn, man.
24:52This is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture think piece.
24:56Is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over?
24:59Yeah.
24:59Actually, it is.
25:00That's a sub-genre of revenge porn.
25:02Yeah, it is.
25:02It doesn't matter what kind of porn it is.
25:05Delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
25:08Yeah, it's good.
25:08And the deleted pics folder.
25:09What do you think?
25:10I'm fucking thick.
25:12Isn't that what you want?
25:13And that's not a private language here, you idiot.
25:16Dude, can you just delete it?
25:17I wanted a selfie.
25:18You can talk to me.
25:19I'm very approachable.
25:20Yeah, thank you.
25:21Dude, enjoy your milkshake.
25:23What are you doing?
25:24Are you kidding me?
25:24Enjoy your little fan, man.
25:25Come on, man.
25:26Are you being paid?
25:27Is she paid?
25:28Yes, I paid.
25:28And I'm the dramatic one.
25:30Okay, look.
25:30Time out, please.
25:31I just want to talk.
25:32Excuse me.
25:32Can we just have a chat?
25:35It's not right, man.
25:37It's not right.
25:38No.
25:39I'm here.
25:39I want to drink something, man.
25:40I want to drink something.
25:40Fucking hell.
25:43Why is she there?
25:44Is there a back door?
25:46Where's the back door?
25:47I think they're here for me, right?
25:48Anyone?
25:50Fine.
25:50Thanks.
25:51I'll find it myself.
25:52Wait.
25:53Wait.
25:55Sorry.
25:58Is there an exit?
26:00Hey, hey, hey.
26:00Go away.
26:01You're not allowed.
26:02You're not allowed, please.
26:03I'm sorry.
26:06Sorry.
26:06What are you sorry?
26:07You're not allowed, man.
26:08No, you're not allowed.
26:10Hey, stop.
26:11Don't go away.
26:12Don't be here.
26:12I'm not trying, I'm not trying to be there.
26:14I'm on my way out.
26:15I'm on my way.
26:15I'm on my way out.
26:18You bring yourself down.
26:20It's not as easy.
26:21Okay.
26:22I didn't, I didn't...
26:22Charges, stop.
26:23Okay.
26:25Sorry.
26:25I wanted to do that all wrong.
26:27I just wanted to see you.
26:28That last bit wasn't my fault.
26:30Come on, Dale.
26:31That was just crazy.
26:33You're crazy.
26:34Me?
26:35Come on, you knock three people out just by staring at me.
26:38If you ever need a job, I could do with security.
26:42If you think that was fine, you have some serious issues.
26:45Better than you know, book club for one.
26:47What kind of ETH is that, huh?
26:48How about your ETH?
26:49Well, of course, in London, to stalk your ex.
26:50You need help.
26:52No, I do.
26:53And you did help me.
26:54And I'm grateful, because it shows that you care.
26:56I do care, actually.
26:57Rose, you're a beautiful lady.
27:00You know what?
27:00Yeah.
27:01Yeah, I'll buy a rose.
27:03I should be thanking you, right?
27:05No, please.
27:07How much are you?
27:08Five for you.
27:09Okay, that's a bit steep.
27:10I'll do 250 for her.
27:10You're embarrassing yourself.
27:11Oh, that's not the first time I would have done that for you, though, is it?
27:16I don't need a rose from you.
27:17You don't need anything from anyone.
27:18No, just not from you, actually.
27:19My life's pretty great.
27:20Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds.
27:22And I'll buy you a rose, and I'm going to stop from scratch.
27:25Five pounds is expensive.
27:28You know, if you knew me at all, you'd know I hate roses.
27:33I remember that.
27:34I just...
27:34You've got to love the gesture, huh?
27:37You love the gesture.
27:37Guys, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on Brick Lane?
27:4020% off for the lovely couple, eh?
27:42We're not a couple.
27:43But we used to be.
27:43You met my family.
27:45Yeah, I did, actually.
27:46And you know what?
27:47He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad.
27:51Well, not in a funder way.
27:52Just my dad's a bit of a, like, little pervy uncle, mate.
27:55Listen, she was making out like I would have locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating.
27:58Yeah?
27:59She put all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm brown.
28:01That's racist, isn't it?
28:02Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white, neo-colonial MI6 agent?
28:06But if I paid him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
28:08Yeah, but you would be.
28:09Guys, I've got an idea.
28:10Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
28:12I think that's better for you.
28:13Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening?
28:16A date?
28:18That was not a date.
28:19She was a world colleague that I brought.
28:20She was shit in your mango tree flop.
28:22I'm guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen.
28:24Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her.
28:27God forbid anything come for that.
28:28Okay.
28:29Okay.
28:29Hadn't we broken up by then?
28:30Char, that night was about me.
28:32Okay?
28:33And also, taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
28:35Okay.
28:36So then how exactly would you define how we...
28:38Fuck you can't fuck.
28:39What?
28:39I left my bag at the restaurant.
28:41Okay, do you...
28:42You have to go back there now?
28:44I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
28:45Where are you going?
28:46Fuck, Argentina.
28:47What?
28:48Why are you going to Argentina?
28:49Wait.
28:51Someone's taking it.
28:53Look, my airports are moving.
28:54Fuck.
28:54Oh, shit.
28:55You're going to catch that.
28:56Fuck, fuck.
28:56You need a cabinet.
28:57Oh, wait, wait.
28:59Taxi!
29:00I need to get it back.
29:02That's gone.
29:02Listen, can you just...
29:04Just let me help.
29:05Just trust me for once.
29:08I don't know.
29:09Come on.
29:10Come on.
29:11Come on.
29:12Come on, come on, come on, come on.
29:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:14Seriously?
29:15Hey, mate.
29:16Listen.
29:16Can you give us a lift?
29:17Yeah.
29:18Okay, yeah?
29:19How fast is this guy?
29:20Not that fast.
29:22Faster than walking, though, isn't it?
29:23Well, yeah, it's a bike.
29:26If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
29:28Oh, you always say that, but you're still here.
29:29Yeah, well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
29:32Hey, this is an emergency.
29:33Can you follow this doc?
29:35Yeah.
29:36All right, auntie, I've got you.
29:37Auntie, you're definitely going to get a tip.
29:39All right, listen.
29:40It's going to be fine.
29:41What's the next, Tina?
29:43Funding came through for my doc.
29:44The shoe brick one?
29:45Mm-hmm.
29:46Oh, come on.
29:49How are you, man?
29:51I don't mean I'm not patronizing today.
29:52Well, it was a little bit patronizing.
29:54No, seriously.
29:54I wish they were more talking to you about shipwrecks.
30:07Your dad is more, um, her than Fondo.
30:12I appreciate you saying that.
30:14He would have killed to have me in your family.
30:17I would have liked to kill him, but I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that.
30:20What the fuck are you doing?
30:20Chill out, mate.
30:25How is he?
30:27He's not good.
30:28Nah, he's not, um...
30:32Yeah, he's not good.
30:38I think my whole family hates me.
30:41They probably do.
30:49Shut up.
30:49I can make you feel, I can make you feel.
30:56I can make you feel, I can make you feel.
30:57That is, come on, that's crazy.
31:00Of all the tune.
31:01That's wild.
31:06Make you turn up.
31:09Better, turn it up for your auntie.
31:11I'll get an auntie when I go raving.
31:13I can make you feel.
31:29Is it here?
31:30I'm around there. Maybe it's in the diner over there.
31:33In there?
31:34Yeah.
31:37Thanks. Yeah.
31:3910% off your next ride.
31:40Leaving tomorrow.
31:41Well, when you get back then?
31:42Not coming back.
31:43What do you mean, I'm coming back?
31:44It doesn't matter.
31:46What do you mean by that?
31:47Got money. Jolly.
31:48No, man.
31:50Nice one.
31:53What do you mean you're not coming back?
31:54No.
31:56It's here.
31:59Okay.
31:59Okay?
32:00Um, yeah.
32:02I think, is that down there on the left?
32:04Yeah.
32:04Hurry up. It takes weeks to get a new passport.
32:06Don't worry. We're going to get it.
32:07Wait, I think it is.
32:09It's like behind.
32:10It's this one here.
32:16Hi.
32:18Hi.
32:19Welcome to the glow up.
32:2025 head.
32:21Oh, I'd like to pay.
32:22Yes.
32:23But I don't know my wallet or phone.
32:26How's this become an expensive date for me?
32:32And here are your putty bags.
32:36Down the corridor on the right.
32:38Okay.
32:40So what are we looking for exactly?
32:41Uh, it's a bum bag.
32:42Okay.
32:43What kind of bum bag?
32:44Just a bag.
32:45Right.
32:46Neon.
32:47Pink and yellow.
32:48Wait, is this the one that I got you?
32:50Yeah.
32:50Oh.
32:52All right.
32:52Relax.
32:53What?
32:53We shouldn't be too hard to find, right?
32:55It's convenient.
32:55It's a useful size bag.
32:57Okay.
33:01Oh, stop.
33:06It might be a bit tricky.
33:08Oh, shit.
33:10I'm never going to find my bag in here.
33:12Whoa.
33:13Aren't you forgetting something?
33:15So what?
33:16Check your goodie bag, mate.
33:17Can't let you on the dance floor like that.
33:20Oh, with the paint.
33:23All right.
33:24Um, fuck it.
33:27Um, I'm not really, I'm shit at this kind of...
33:29Sit down.
33:29I'll do it.
33:34Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
33:34Be nice.
33:36Be nice.
33:37When am I not nice?
33:40As much as you want to, um, humiliate me,
33:44remember whose passport we used to call, okay?
33:46Don't rush the artist, please.
33:50Sorry.
33:53Or look into her soul.
33:59Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:01Um, I don't know.
34:03You look so much fitter with that nose ring, man.
34:06What?
34:06Fuck you.
34:06Well, I'm just saying it took the attention away from that cold, dead look in your eyes.
34:11Probably around the same time as you, um, started losing half your hair.
34:14You know, um, fitting hair is linked to high levels of testosterone, so...
34:18I know the approach.
34:19So if you need some money for a hair transplant, it's okay, you just let me know.
34:21No, I'm fine.
34:22You know, I just take all my self-loathing and I rub it on my scalp every day.
34:25But thanks for chopping me up on self-loathing.
34:27Next time I see you, next time I see you, you're going to have shaved your head and you're going
34:30to tell me it's for a roll.
34:32Or, because I'm going to have a really secret sad illness.
34:34I said, you're going to be so upset about what time you didn't spend together, now that I'm dead.
34:38Yeah?
34:38Yeah.
34:39Death guilting?
34:40That's a straight-up auntie move.
34:41It is.
34:42Sorry, did that trigger you?
34:43Sorry, does that turn you on?
34:45I know.
34:46I know.
34:46Yeah, I'm fine.
35:08Hit it up.
35:09Yeah.
35:10Let's go.
35:30Hey!
35:49Oh
35:50You having fun
35:51Yeah, I'm actually fun
35:54Let me looking for a bag. Yeah, I'm looking as well. I'm always looking sorry
36:03She's not a bad either in the end. Not the worst
36:08What are you looking at me for? I don't have it
36:21I
36:31Gotta go to the bathroom, yeah
36:32I
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36:48I
36:49I
36:59You don't have the balls to be wrong. Are you fucking mad?
37:04I
37:06Not the first family member to lose my mind
37:10What?
37:10Stop!
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