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00:00This programme contains strong language and themes of an adult nature.
00:05This is a no-holds-barred conversation.
00:08I would definitely check it out.
00:10Like reviews from their exes or the mum or something like that.
00:14Yeah, trust pilot.
00:17I love that.
00:18Yay!
00:19Oh, let's buy a hat.
00:20We've got to go to the wedding.
00:22It's like it's so hard that they're eating together.
00:25I don't think I have had a long-distance relationship,
00:28but I've probably dated people and been really distant.
00:33I'm Sophie Gravia.
00:35I'm Christine McGuinness,
00:36and we are here to be your situationship gurus.
00:39Okay, can we talk about what we actually done last week when we finished filming?
00:43So you were supposed to drive home.
00:45Right, well, what happened was there was a diversion
00:50to a concert next door.
00:52Yep.
00:53And I just felt like it would be rude not to.
00:55I felt like it was very woman-empowering.
01:00I feel like you just got FOMO because I said,
01:03I'm going to be after this,
01:05and we ended up having a great night.
01:08I just felt like, you know, you really wanted me there.
01:11I did.
01:11And I needed to go.
01:13What we went to see, Ray.
01:15Yeah.
01:15Ray performing was just incredible.
01:17It was good vibes.
01:18The music was amazing.
01:20The little speeches that she gave in between.
01:23Oh, my God. So emotional, wasn't it?
01:24She's an independent artist, so I love that.
01:27Yeah.
01:27And she did say something that has stuck with me,
01:33and that was that she is in her dramatic era.
01:37She did.
01:38So...
01:38I feel like that concert was so dramatic.
01:41It was very dramatic.
01:42But I loved that.
01:43And I came away thinking, do you know what?
01:45I think I might be entering my dramatic era.
01:48Yeah, I'm here for that.
01:49Why not?
01:50We'll see who's playing tonight.
01:54OK, so today we are going to talk about
01:57people coming off the dating apps.
01:59So, AppSaf here in Scotland.
02:02So, basically, more people are coming off the dating apps
02:06and they're meeting people in real life.
02:08I think this is a good thing.
02:09I think it's a good thing as well,
02:10because have you had experience with dating apps?
02:13Well, I've never been on a dating app,
02:15and I get it for Gen Z completely,
02:17because they don't know life without the dating apps.
02:20Whereas, for me, obviously I was married for a long time,
02:23but when I've been single again,
02:25the only way that I knew how to meet people,
02:28I know the dating apps were there,
02:29but for me, it was just going back to what I know,
02:32and that was just meeting someone,
02:34feeling the energy, seeing people like that.
02:35Yeah, mutual friends and stuff.
02:37The apps, for me, they seem quite scary,
02:40because I've only ever heard of horror stories.
02:42You do hear a lot of horror stories,
02:45but at the same time, I do know,
02:46like loads of my close friends have met on dating apps,
02:49and they're married, and they've got kids and stuff now.
02:53But for me, I did, I've came,
02:56obviously I was single for a long time,
02:58I've used the dating apps on and off.
03:00Usually I would go on it for a couple of days
03:02and be like, fuck this, and same shite,
03:04and turn it off straight away,
03:06because I was so fed up of it.
03:08Did you ever meet anybody off a dating app?
03:10Yeah, like I went on dates and stuff like that,
03:14but I never...
03:16How do you trust that it is who the profile says it is?
03:21So, usually, I would get them to send a picture
03:24or something before they're...
03:27So, if you're maybe talking on the dating app,
03:29I would then get them to,
03:31obviously as the conversation progressed or whatever,
03:34you maybe got them on WhatsApp,
03:35and then it's a normal conversation.
03:36I would never just talk to someone,
03:38arrange to make a coffee,
03:39and then I would always play it out a wee bit longer
03:42to make sure I felt comfortable as well,
03:44more than I was the right person.
03:47But it's quite difficult,
03:49and now it makes me cringe a wee bit
03:51that I used to do that.
03:52But I think as well, a lot of people,
03:54if they're busy working lives,
03:56or they can't always afford to go out every weekend,
03:59they might not want to meet somebody in a bar.
04:01So, I get that...
04:01I stopped drinking, and I found it really hard,
04:03because obviously when you're out as well,
04:05so you're missing that sort of social interaction,
04:08like going around and chatting to people,
04:10it just wasn't there.
04:12And then I was like,
04:13right, okay, I'm just working all the time.
04:15We've heard of people getting catfished,
04:17and I always think,
04:17well, surely you must have FaceTimed,
04:20or surely you must have video called
04:21before you've met them.
04:22But obviously, you know,
04:23people, especially scammers,
04:25will come up with an excuse to not do that.
04:26People use it, yeah, literally any excuse.
04:28But do you know now,
04:29it's not just like AI profiles
04:31where people are editing the pictures
04:34to maybe just look a little bit taller,
04:36a little bit slimmer,
04:37a little bit more tanned.
04:38Like, whatever they're doing,
04:39they're just editing the photos,
04:40like people do on everyday social media.
04:42There's that element.
04:43But there's this whole new thing now
04:46where people are creating AI profiles
04:50on dating sites
04:51where the actual person doesn't exist at all.
04:55So the whole,
04:56everything is AI.
04:59And they're doing it as scammers.
05:02So they obviously,
05:03they know how to read the conversation,
05:06tell the person what they want to hear.
05:08Even with my most recent situationship,
05:10we only met in person very briefly.
05:13She was with a mutual friend,
05:15so I felt comfortable enough
05:16to go over and say hello.
05:18But that is literal as it was.
05:19It was just a quick hello.
05:20And then from there,
05:21it was messaging through social media.
05:24And that was like for months
05:25before we actually went on a date.
05:27But it's only now discussing it
05:29that I'm thinking,
05:29actually,
05:30I still didn't know who,
05:33who I was going on a date with.
05:35I still,
05:36and I kept it very,
05:37very private
05:38because in my situation,
05:39in the public eye,
05:40I don't want that stuff everywhere
05:43until it's like a bit more serious.
05:45And this was a first date,
05:46so I wouldn't have wanted it to go everywhere.
05:48But yeah,
05:48I suppose I could have been safer
05:50than what I was really.
05:51I probably should have
05:52just let somebody know
05:53where I was going.
05:54Yeah,
05:54I think,
05:55I think that
05:56you would need to kind of let people know.
05:58Are you also,
05:59it's ideally meeting a public place?
06:01A public place,
06:01definitely,
06:02yeah.
06:03Because I wouldn't feel comfortable
06:05meeting someone,
06:05some random guy
06:06and even someone
06:07that you've maybe met for a coffee.
06:09And then,
06:10I used to hate this on dating apps
06:12for people that would say,
06:13come round to my house
06:14because obviously you're thinking,
06:16oh,
06:16we know what you're wanting.
06:17But at the same time,
06:19they could be fucking planning
06:20to do whatever with you.
06:22Yeah.
06:23And you don't know them.
06:24So again,
06:25really unsafe.
06:26I've got like,
06:27a free sex date on my phone
06:29and my friends,
06:30we all watch each other's location.
06:31Make sure your phone's charged
06:32before you get there.
06:33Always tell someone
06:34exactly where you are.
06:36I don't,
06:36I thought,
06:37I'll be completely honest,
06:38before I went on this first date,
06:41I'd done a full,
06:42like,
06:42Google research,
06:43it's like,
06:45satellite view of the house.
06:47Yeah.
06:48Literally,
06:48I checked out as much information
06:50in a criminal record.
06:51Oh my God,
06:52literally checking everything.
06:54Yeah.
06:55I knew what school she went to.
06:57I knew her middle name
06:58when I told her,
07:00when I said it to her.
07:02And she didn't realise for weeks
07:04that I knew her middle name
07:05because I'd searched for it.
07:07She laughed it off,
07:09thank God.
07:09But it was just something
07:11that I was,
07:11I was just checking out,
07:13like,
07:13hey,
07:14but,
07:14and then obviously
07:15I wanted to know more
07:16and I thought,
07:16actually,
07:16you know,
07:17I might as well do
07:17a whole police criminal check record
07:20and satellite Google Earth
07:22where she lives
07:22and where she works
07:24and went through every follower.
07:25No,
07:25I didn't.
07:26Just going back to AI,
07:28very quickly,
07:29there's been some stuff recently online,
07:32AI pictures of me
07:33and my ex-husband
07:34and our three children.
07:35And we've never shared photos
07:37of our three children,
07:39ever.
07:39I've seen these.
07:40I've seen them.
07:41It comes up on my Facebook
07:42all the time
07:43and it makes me laugh so much.
07:45Aren't the kids gorgeous?
07:46I think they're so beautiful.
07:48They're not my kids.
07:49They're not your kids.
07:50They're AI images.
07:51But after I sit looking at them
07:53going,
07:53aww,
07:53aww.
07:54That could be my fourth thought.
07:57But yeah,
07:58so then,
07:59for anyone who doesn't know me personally
08:02would be reading this story,
08:04like she could have.
08:06She said herself
08:07when she did have a quick Google
08:08before we'd met up to date.
08:10She weren't sure
08:11if I was married or not
08:12because there's that much
08:13fake news out there
08:15and AI images
08:16and all of this.
08:16She was literally,
08:17I didn't know
08:18if you were getting in touch
08:20like wanting to meet up
08:20as friends
08:21or if Dave,
08:22like she didn't know
08:23because of what she saw online.
08:25I was at a book launch.
08:27I was speaking at a book launch,
08:29my book launch,
08:30and a girl in the audience
08:31because I was talking about
08:32how I think apps
08:34are going to be gone soon.
08:36I think more people
08:37are going out
08:38and blah, blah, blah
08:38and I was saying
08:39and I recommend that.
08:40I think that's so much healthier
08:42and you're meeting people in person
08:43and so you can get that vibe.
08:45You can speak to somebody
08:46all day long
08:46and then they've got good chat
08:47and then you meet them in person
08:48and they're just fucking shit.
08:51So I was saying that
08:52and she put her hand up
08:54and she was so genuinely,
08:56she was lovely
08:57and she went
08:58but I don't get it.
09:00If you're saying
09:00don't use apps to date,
09:02how are you supposed
09:03to meet anyone?
09:04And I was like,
09:05you go out,
09:06go to the gym
09:06and talk to people,
09:07go to the bars
09:08or go wherever you want to go,
09:10go to clubs
09:11and just start speaking to people
09:13and she was like,
09:14what?
09:15But then how do you say
09:16do you want to go for a drink
09:17and I went,
09:18just the way that you've said it.
09:21They were going to get it
09:22and I would be the same,
09:23they haven't got that confidence.
09:24Yeah,
09:25because they've never had to though.
09:26They've never had to do anything like that.
09:29But yeah,
09:30I think it's changing
09:31and I think it's probably the right thing.
09:34I think so,
09:36definitely.
09:36I think you need to see each other in person.
09:38You need to,
09:39I think energy is a big thing.
09:40It's a real thing
09:41and you can't feel somebody's energy
09:43over a phone.
09:44A screen, yeah.
09:46But if there was an app that existed
09:50and it kind of had reviews on there
09:52of the person that you're planning on dating,
09:54I would definitely check it out.
09:56Yeah.
09:56Like reviews from their exes
09:57or the mum
09:58or something like that.
10:00Yeah.
10:01Trust pilot.
10:02Yeah.
10:03So we need that.
10:04We definitely do.
10:06Although I don't know,
10:07what would your exes say about you?
10:09Oh, five star all the way.
10:10Let's move on to the hot mess hotline.
10:18Okay, so over to our hot mess hotline.
10:21And this is a 28 year old.
10:24She wants to remain anonymous
10:26and it's been voiced by someone else.
10:28Okay, let's listen.
10:30I met this guy at a bar.
10:31We swapped numbers
10:32and the next day he asked me out on a date.
10:34It was very casual.
10:35We met up for drinks.
10:36I offered to pay for mine,
10:38but he wouldn't let me.
10:39I'd say we had a nice time.
10:40However, the following day he messaged me
10:42and asked if I could send him 30 pounds
10:44to cover some of the drinks
10:45from the night before.
10:46I was a bit confused,
10:47but I sent it to him.
10:49He asked me for another fiver
10:50and another date since then,
10:52but I've ignored him.
10:54I'm not sure I should have sent him
10:55the money in the first place.
10:57What do you think?
10:58Was it the right thing to do?
11:01No, that is the absolute ick.
11:04I hate that.
11:07Yeah.
11:07Like, why would you do that?
11:10When you're on a date,
11:11right, especially if you've been dating for a while,
11:14I think splitting the bill sometimes
11:16or taking it in turns
11:18or whatever, however you want to do it
11:19is nice.
11:21Going out and splitting the bill,
11:22it makes me feel physically sick.
11:23I know, I hate it.
11:24I absolutely hate it.
11:24I would rather just go,
11:26I'll pay this.
11:27Exactly.
11:27Because I hate that.
11:28Yeah, I hate it.
11:29But just take taunts.
11:32They would pay it one week,
11:33I would pay it the following week
11:34if that's how you want to do it.
11:35Oh no, she's on a first date.
11:37And they haven't even asked for the money on the date.
11:41It's been afterwards as she's gone home,
11:42she's got a message asking for money.
11:45He's obviously tried to act like Billy Big Balls
11:48when he's on the date
11:49and then went home,
11:50checked his bank balance and thought,
11:52my Amazon Prime's coming out.
11:54I think he stood outside going,
11:55I haven't got enough cash to get in my cab.
11:57I'm going to have to ask her for the money now.
11:59Or he could be a scammer.
12:01He could be a scammer
12:02and this is what he does.
12:03What was the extra fiver for?
12:04Oh, I know, I don't know.
12:06Oh, that's interesting.
12:08What bank's here?
12:11He gave her a tap.
12:12She gave him a tap.
12:14Oh my God.
12:15No, I would have sent the money
12:20because it's half of what you've done,
12:22but I would have made a mental note like,
12:24do not go back out with this guy.
12:25Do you know what?
12:26I think honestly,
12:27and I'm not even like,
12:28I wouldn't laugh
12:29and I wouldn't judge
12:30on someone's financial position,
12:32but I would prefer somebody
12:34to be honest with me
12:37or don't even,
12:37you don't even need to tell me
12:38about your money worries,
12:40but plan a date
12:41where it's not going to cost you
12:42if you can't afford it.
12:44I'm not going to judge.
12:44I'd probably prefer something
12:46that's not in a bar,
12:47like something casual anyway.
12:49It doesn't need to cost an awful lot.
12:51So I think it's,
12:52yeah,
12:52it's quite sad
12:54that he's done something
12:55that he obviously couldn't afford.
12:58And then now it's backfired
13:00because she's not going to want a second date.
13:01Okay.
13:02We've got another one.
13:03Okay.
13:03I love it when we have to.
13:05Right.
13:05Okay.
13:05So this is a 21 year old girl.
13:08She also wants to remain anonymous
13:10and someone's voiced it up.
13:12Okay.
13:14Hi guys.
13:15Firstly,
13:15I just want to say
13:16how much I've loved your previous episodes
13:18and I'm so glad that you're back.
13:19I actually listened to series one
13:21while I was navigating
13:22my first relationship.
13:24Basically,
13:24I'd like never had any interest
13:25in men or women.
13:27And I honestly thought
13:28that I was asexual.
13:29I had convinced myself.
13:30But at the same time,
13:31I had found out
13:33that this guy that I knew
13:34was interested in me
13:35and I was a massive virgin.
13:37So I had no clue what to do.
13:39But listening to your podcast
13:41actually convinced me
13:42that maybe I should give him a chance.
13:44So I did.
13:45And a little bit of alcohol.
13:46One thing led to another
13:48and dot, dot, dot.
13:49I'm a virgin no more.
13:50We kept things going then
13:51and we're currently
13:53nearing our sixth month anniversary.
13:55So my question for you guys is
13:57can your first love
13:59last forever?
14:01Oh.
14:02I love that.
14:04Oh my God.
14:07I love that.
14:08Yay.
14:08Oh, let's buy a hat.
14:10Yeah.
14:10We've got to go to the wedding.
14:12It's like it's told
14:12that they're even together.
14:15Clearly we think
14:16that it's going to last.
14:17It's going to last forever.
14:20Do you know,
14:21I think,
14:22I'd like to believe that,
14:23yeah,
14:24that that still can happen.
14:25Yeah.
14:26I think it's rare
14:27in today's world
14:28because of how accessible
14:29everybody is.
14:30Like we've said,
14:31just meeting people
14:32out and about
14:32and then with social media
14:33and everything else.
14:34It's not like how it was
14:36years ago.
14:37And I think about
14:38like me grandparents.
14:40It would be highly unusual
14:42for anyone in that generation
14:44for the mum and dads
14:45to be separated
14:46or, you know,
14:47the way things are now
14:48with blended families,
14:49step-parents,
14:49in-laws,
14:50like everything
14:51is a lot more
14:52open and mixed.
14:53But I like to believe
14:55that there is them
14:56old school couples
14:57like your nans and granddads
14:58that met,
15:00fell madly in love
15:01at 16
15:01and stayed together forever.
15:02Yeah, but I think as well
15:03the fact that she's 21
15:05so she's not 16 or 15
15:07so she has got a bit
15:09of life experience as well
15:10on her side.
15:11But no, really.
15:12Relationship or sexual
15:13experience with anybody else.
15:15Yeah, I know.
15:16Oh, I know.
15:17I know.
15:18But if you had only slept
15:20with one person
15:21do you think you'd be curious
15:25now at this age?
15:28I think it depends
15:29on the nature of you.
15:30If your relationship
15:31is happy in every single way
15:33then I don't think
15:34it would ever
15:35even cross your mind
15:36to look at anybody else.
15:36I don't think,
15:37I think if you were satisfied
15:40then you would...
15:41And there are people
15:42that don't want
15:43to explore that much
15:44who are a bit more
15:44not closed off
15:46but just protective
15:46of themselves.
15:47It might be self-respect
15:48it might simply be that
15:50do you know what,
15:50good for anybody else
15:51if you want to go
15:52and date and have fun
15:53and have one night stands.
15:54If you want to do that
15:55for your own experience
15:56that's up to you.
15:57but she might think
15:58actually do you know what
15:59it's took this long
16:00for her to even think
16:01about being intimate
16:02with someone
16:04and like she said
16:05thanks to us
16:06it's happened
16:07and she's happy.
16:08You're welcome.
16:09Yeah.
16:09So for you
16:10it might just be
16:11that actually
16:12she just
16:12she's comfortable
16:13with just this one person
16:14and doesn't need
16:15anybody else
16:16maybe
16:16it's absolutely
16:18incredible in bed
16:19and it's not all
16:20about that anyway
16:21but she's happy
16:22she's struck gold
16:23with the first one.
16:24Yeah.
16:24Thanks to us.
16:25Say that again.
16:27But yeah
16:28I'd like to think
16:29that it could last forever.
16:30Yeah me too.
16:34So this week's
16:35drama draft
16:36has come from
16:36Dua Lipa
16:37and she is talking
16:38about how to make
16:39long distance
16:40really shit works
16:41because her
16:42and her fiance
16:43have spent
16:44the last year
16:46like most of the time
16:47apart
16:48because she's touring
16:49so of course
16:50it's going to be hard
16:51she's touring
16:51all over the world
16:52so they've barely
16:53seen each other
16:53for the last year
16:54and she's done
16:55this interview
16:56where she's talking
16:57about you know
16:58how difficult
16:59it can be
17:00what she does
17:01to stay connected
17:02have you ever
17:03had a long distance
17:03relationship?
17:05I don't think
17:06I have
17:06had a long distance
17:08relationship
17:08but I've probably
17:09dated people
17:10I mean really
17:11distant
17:14so they've probably
17:15felt like
17:16they're in a long
17:17distance relationship
17:17because I'm
17:18constantly like
17:19oh I need to do this
17:20I'll maybe be free
17:21next week
17:21but no I've not
17:22physically been
17:23in a long distance
17:24relationship
17:26what's considered
17:27long distance?
17:29so I suppose
17:30anything
17:32so I suppose
17:33if I was dating
17:34someone down in
17:35London
17:35they lived in
17:36London
17:36I lived up here
17:37in Scotland
17:37that would be
17:38long distance
17:38wouldn't it?
17:40I don't know
17:41but you go
17:42everywhere
17:43so it is for
17:44the average person
17:45probably
17:46yeah I suppose
17:47it is
17:47so obviously
17:48I live in Cheshire
17:49my situationship
17:51is in London
17:51and the majority
17:52usually is always
17:53down in London
17:54because that's
17:54where I work
17:55and I
17:56I quite like
17:57that it's separate
17:58from my own life
17:59I like the double
18:01life kind of thing
18:02and then it doesn't
18:03mix in
18:04but I think
18:05that's just me
18:06for now
18:06so for now
18:07I quite like
18:08the distance
18:09whereas if somebody
18:11was just 20 minutes
18:12away
18:12obviously you're
18:13going to see each
18:14other a lot more
18:14you're probably
18:16going to move
18:17faster
18:17you're probably
18:18going to bond
18:18quicker
18:19you're going to
18:20be in each
18:21other's life
18:22a hell of a lot
18:23more
18:23whereas
18:24I quite like
18:26that my adult
18:27life
18:27my social life
18:28my work life
18:29is in a completely
18:30different location
18:31to my home life
18:32so how do you
18:33keep that
18:33obviously then
18:34when you're
18:35in the house
18:35how do you
18:36keep your
18:36relationship
18:37or your
18:38situationship
18:38functioning then
18:40like what's
18:40your tips
18:41for people
18:41that are
18:41long distance
18:42relationships
18:43we're really
18:44really blessed
18:45with technology
18:46yes
18:46if you think
18:47about like
18:48years ago
18:48for couples
18:50families
18:51who maybe
18:52were in the
18:52military
18:53in the army
18:53they
18:54the partners
18:55would be going
18:55off for months
18:56or years
18:56yeah
18:57and it would
18:58be a letter
18:59and you'd be
19:00lucky if it
19:00got there
19:01but now
19:01you know
19:01obviously
19:02we've got
19:02FaceTime
19:03we can call
19:04we can text
19:05there's loads
19:05of ways to
19:05keep in touch
19:06so definitely
19:07communication
19:08and just
19:08keeping in touch
19:09is good
19:09but I don't
19:10say this lightly
19:11because it's
19:12not a nice
19:12thing I really
19:13really felt
19:14for someone
19:14I was in a
19:14situationship
19:15with someone
19:16quite briefly
19:17who really
19:19really struggled
19:19not necessarily
19:20with trust
19:21like with me
19:22because I'm
19:23definitely
19:24a one
19:25one woman
19:27woman
19:28I haven't
19:29got time
19:29for any more
19:30than that
19:30but just
19:31within herself
19:32really really
19:33struggled
19:33with the
19:33we couldn't
19:34be together
19:35as often
19:36as what
19:36she would
19:37have liked
19:37because of
19:37the distance
19:38whereas I
19:39think
19:39because
19:40the only
19:43really really
19:44important
19:44relationship
19:45that I've
19:46had
19:46long term
19:46was obviously
19:47my marriage
19:48and I spent
19:48so much time
19:49on my own
19:50that for me
19:52I'm okay
19:52with being
19:53on my own
19:54and that was
19:54my normal
19:55so because
19:56my ex-husband
19:57worked away
19:57so much
19:58and I mean
19:59for like
20:00weeks on end
20:01whether it was
20:02down in London
20:04and I couldn't
20:04go because I had
20:05the kids
20:05or if he was
20:06in Timbuktu
20:06filming something
20:07somewhere like
20:08he was always
20:09travelling around
20:09the world
20:10so I was
20:11just always
20:11quite used
20:12to doing
20:12three four
20:13weeks on my
20:14own and just
20:14keeping in touch
20:15of that and
20:15that was normal
20:16but now
20:16dating again
20:18like it is
20:20for me it's a
20:20bit wilder
20:21and much people
20:22like they want
20:23to be together
20:23all the time
20:24whereas I'm
20:25kind of like
20:26I need my
20:27space and I
20:28like it
20:29yeah I think
20:30if you're up
20:30front about that
20:31then
20:31yeah I don't
20:33I don't need
20:34to be glued
20:35to someone
20:36permanently and do
20:37everything with
20:37them
20:38obviously you get
20:39to a point where
20:40you're like oh I
20:41miss them I wish
20:41I had see them
20:42again but I'm
20:43kind of like do
20:44you know what if
20:45I get a night to
20:45myself now and
20:46again gorgeous
20:48yeah I think the
20:49most important thing
20:50is obviously you
20:51need to maintain
20:52your own person
20:53so basically if
20:55you're doing a
20:55long distance thing
20:56I think the most
20:57important thing is
20:57you still go about
20:58your routine you
20:59still go to the
20:59gym you still go
21:00blah blah and
21:01then they fit in
21:02part of it
21:02obviously everyone's
21:03got the point
21:04it's so important
21:05to keep your
21:05independent
21:06yeah
21:06friends keep
21:07your own life
21:08everything keep
21:08your own hobby
21:09it's like don't
21:10drop it all for
21:11anybody
21:11how do you think
21:13I think the
21:14hardest thing about
21:15a long distance
21:15relationship and
21:17it's probably
21:17because I just
21:20I just find that
21:21difficult to trust
21:23lots of people
21:24but yeah I think
21:26it would just be
21:27if they were over
21:28there
21:30see I'm imagining
21:31someone in Australia
21:33so if someone was
21:34in Australia and
21:35you were here
21:36and you're just
21:37I think it would
21:38be really really
21:38difficult to trust
21:39that person when
21:41you're going well
21:43years or months
21:44whatever like
21:45without them
21:46how do you think
21:47I just think
21:49for me personally
21:50I just think
21:52that if someone
21:53is going to do
21:54something they're
21:54going to do it
21:55anyway and there's
21:55nothing you can do
21:56and it's never your
21:57fault first of all
21:58it's not what
21:59you look like
22:00or you know
22:01whatever you wore
22:02that week or
22:03it's nothing you
22:04said it is
22:04literally if
22:05somebody's an
22:06opportunist or a
22:07bit silly or
22:07whatever they're
22:08going to cheat
22:08they're going to
22:09cheat so first
22:09of all just
22:12I think people
22:14waste a lot of
22:14energy thinking
22:16about trusting
22:17and not trusting
22:18is she doing
22:19this or where
22:20is he or what
22:20are they up to
22:21and those things
22:21that keep people
22:22awake at night
22:23just drop it
22:24out of your mind
22:24because there's
22:26nothing you can do
22:27if you're at
22:28that point
22:28if you're literally
22:29like you're really
22:30really feeling
22:31you got that
22:31there's something
22:32not right
22:32if they're not
22:33answering the phone
22:33if they're not
22:34where they said
22:34they were or
22:35whatever or you've
22:36seen them with
22:36somebody they said
22:37they were then
22:39you've seen the
22:39red flags and
22:40you've got your
22:41reason to not
22:41trust them then
22:42just walk away
22:43yeah then if you
22:43don't trust then
22:44that's it so how
22:45would you maintain
22:46trust then for a
22:47long distance
22:48I think reassurance
22:49obviously is always
22:50good I've got
22:51nothing against if
22:52somebody is feeling
22:52a little bit
22:53insecure and they
22:54need a bit more
22:54reassurance I'm
22:55happy to be you
22:56know remind
22:57remind them like
22:58yeah look it's
22:58just me and you
22:59I'm just busy
22:59sorry I didn't
23:00answer the phone
23:00whatever
23:02obviously
23:03communication I
23:04think it depends
23:06how far you want
23:06to take it I
23:08personally think
23:09like sharing your
23:10location when you
23:11just to make sure
23:13that you want to
23:13where you say you
23:14are I think that's
23:15a bit too much
23:16I don't want to I
23:17wouldn't want to I
23:18wouldn't feel
23:19comfortable doing
23:19that with Chris
23:20I don't even know
23:21why because he
23:22knows where I'm all
23:23the time but then
23:23at the same time he
23:25could pick up the
23:25phone and just say
23:26where are you so but
23:27I just feel like that's
23:28too much I don't like
23:29that because it would
23:30be the idea of I'm
23:32nothing to the shop
23:33no you're done at the
23:34petrol station do you
23:35know what I mean like
23:35why would you do that
23:36with someone I hate
23:37that idea but no I
23:40think communication
23:40would be the main
23:41one because just text
23:44the end of the night
23:45and like you're lying
23:46in your bed at night
23:47and it's just chilled
23:48and yeah learn to be
23:49okay with it it's not
23:51even like you have to
23:52trust someone because
23:53like you said you find
23:53it hard so do I I
23:55don't know if I will
23:55ever completely 100%
23:57trust anybody but I
23:59trust myself to kind
24:00of just you know
24:02review it when I need
24:03to yeah if you if you
24:04feel it's something
24:05there's no point in
24:06wasting time over it
24:07yeah yeah if you feel
24:07like something's off it
24:08will show exactly
24:09yeah
24:13oh it's a would you
24:14rather
24:14okay
24:16okay I love this game
24:18already right okay
24:19would you rather be the
24:21person who has to dump
24:22someone or be dumped
24:23yourself
24:24oh my god
24:26I'm the dumper
24:27yeah
24:28so
24:28I am the dumper
24:30but I would rather be
24:32dumped I hate
24:33I absolutely
24:34hate it
24:35the guilt
24:36that I feel
24:38watching somebody
24:39upset
24:40yeah
24:41traumatizes me
24:42and I have found
24:43myself in this
24:44situation too many
24:44times where I've
24:45ended up doing it
24:46seeing the upset and
24:47then I go all right
24:48okay then well maybe
24:49we'll just try a bit
24:51longer and then it
24:52gets worse and worse
24:53I absolutely hate it
24:55my friend gave me a
24:56really good bit of
24:57advice because it had
24:58been going on so
24:59long where it was
25:00just upsetting both of
25:01us and he was just
25:03like sometimes you have
25:04literally just got to
25:06end it you've got to
25:07end it like ripping off
25:09the band-aid don't
25:10pull the plaster off
25:11slowly because it's
25:11going to hurt yeah
25:12just rip it off
25:13finish it yeah I
25:15think that 100% I
25:16think you just have to
25:17be direct and then
25:19block yeah like stick to
25:21your decision the back
25:23and forth thing makes
25:24it worse it's too
25:24messy yeah it's just a
25:26headache okay next one
25:28would you rather
25:29accidentally send nudes
25:30to your boss or to your
25:32parents is it weird that
25:35Abby didn't really care
25:36if I accidentally sent
25:38anything to my mom she
25:39would annihilate me not
25:41just because it's a
25:42noob but she would be
25:43like I've told you I
25:45don't like your hair like
25:46that and you've lost
25:47weight and you haven't
25:48been sleeping have you
25:49get them eyelashes off
25:51that would be me mom
25:53would ruin me life
25:54my mom would be like
25:55it's time to go see
25:57father brown get your
25:58stuff you're going down
25:59to the chapel no no I
26:03would rather say but
26:04rather than my boss I
26:05would still send it to
26:06my parents would you
26:08rather your partner
26:09protect your feelings
26:10with a lie or always be
26:12brutally honest oh be
26:14brutally honest give it
26:15to me yeah no I'm fine
26:17with a white lie there if
26:19it makes me feel good
26:20just don't do it and
26:21like dodgy I want
26:22honesty but I also want
26:23you to be able to handle
26:24it when when I'm really
26:26you give honest stuff of
26:27what you've just said
26:28actually what do you
26:29mean I look like shit
26:30no I don't look amazing
26:34okay this is my favorite
26:36one okay would you
26:38rather give up sex or
26:40food oh this is easy
26:42for me I would rather
26:45give up food you would
26:47rather give up food yeah
26:48I would I'm not a big
26:50foodie I'm a very
26:51passionate woman I know
26:54what I like to eat it's
26:56not the food okay so I
27:00would probably pick the
27:01same but I'm not going
27:03to lie a spicy chicken
27:04pizza and truffle fries
27:06I would miss it big
27:08time would you yeah
27:10you wouldn't miss sex I
27:12would miss sex I would
27:13pick sex but at the
27:14same time like I
27:15fucking love food yeah
27:17no I'd love fucking
27:20she said she'd fucking
27:22love food I fucking
27:25love love okay yes on
27:27that note should we go
27:31and eat if you would
27:34like advice on your
27:35situationship then contact
27:37us at situationships at
27:39bbc.co.uk and on
27:41whatsapp on 08000
27:44224448 please only
27:46contact us if you are
27:47over 18 further
27:49information can be found
27:50at bbc.co.uk forward
27:52slash radio Scotland
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