- 13 hours ago
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00:26To be continued...
00:55To be continued...
01:00No screwing around.
01:01Hey, Johnny, when we get there, let's screw around.
01:12Man, you weren't joking, Dad.
01:14This guy's driveway's the length of our street.
01:16Yeah, well, big house, big lawn, big problems.
01:19What problems?
01:20Well, with the house so far back from the street, they're probably not tied into the city's sewage line.
01:25Bet you're $20 there to put a septic tank up there.
01:27No, thank you.
01:29You're jealous.
01:31No, I'm not.
01:31You are.
01:32You're jealous of their money, and now you're jealous of their poop.
01:34I am not jealous of their poop.
01:36It gets its own private tank, and that drives you crazy.
01:39That's elite poop.
01:40You guys want me to turn this car around right now, huh?
01:42I'm going to take you both home right fucking now?
01:45Actually, yeah.
01:46Yeah.
01:47Yeah, great.
01:47That's fantastic.
01:48Well, I'm not gonna.
01:51Their poop is better than your body.
01:53Shut up!
02:12Hi, I'm Matty Bennett.
02:13I'm here to install the wireless dog fence.
02:16Oh, yes, of course.
02:17I'm Mrs. Robichek.
02:19My husband said you'd be by, but I'm afraid he's already left.
02:21But feel free to get started.
02:23All right, well, I can install the fence today and fit the collar next week.
02:26That's perfect.
02:27We're getting the dog on Thursday.
02:28By the way, you probably get this a lot, but, uh...
02:32Are you guys tied to the city's sewage line, or do you have a septic tank?
02:36I don't know.
02:38Huh.
02:39Well, rich or poor, we all spend two hours a day on the toilet.
02:43Stool's the great equalizer.
02:45Benjamin Franklin said that.
02:47In fact, until 1940, that's what it said on the back of the dime.
02:52Well, you can get started.
02:56Hey there.
02:57Can I get you boys some iced tea?
03:01Ah!
03:02Johnny, move it!
03:03We got work to do!
03:15Jesus Christ.
03:16I've never seen a woman that beautiful in my entire life.
03:19Well, don't look now, but she's staring at you.
03:21What?
03:21Seriously?
03:22I said don't look!
03:23Hey, you know what?
03:24Take your shirt off.
03:25What?
03:26No!
03:26Why?
03:27You know why she's looking at you?
03:28Because her husband's probably some fucking old hairy guy.
03:30His back probably looks like the floor of a barbershop.
03:33But you, you're sleek and hairless like a baby dolphin.
03:37Hey, I got some chest hairs coming in.
03:38Bullshit!
03:39You're about as hairy as a pack of batteries.
03:41Come on, give her a show.
03:42No, fuck off.
03:43Aha!
03:43I found the septic line!
03:45They probably have a tank over there with a 12-inch pipe splitting off to all the toilets.
03:49Think they're too good to mix with our stools?
03:52Well, I'll show them!
03:54What does he mean by, I'll show them?
03:57Whatever it is, we should probably be prepared to testify.
04:10Johnny!
04:13Johnny!
04:14What?
04:15Oh, I was dreaming about Mrs. Robichek.
04:19Oh, yeah?
04:19Yeah, we were in this, uh, this colonial village, and she was just there churning butter.
04:24It was so hot.
04:26And I was there jerking off at it.
04:29At it?
04:29Yeah.
04:30Why?
04:31That's a, that's just a weird preposition.
04:33Makes it sound like you're firing cum at her.
04:35Jerking off about it?
04:37I don't know, they both sound wrong.
04:39Also, last week, didn't you have a dream where Cindy Crawford was naked, and she said,
04:44I want you so bad, so you ran home and jacked off?
04:47Yeah, that was so hot.
04:48But, like, in your dream, you went home and jacked off.
04:52Like, you're supposed to actually get laid in your dreams, but you went home.
04:55Yeah, I, I didn't have a condom.
04:57What was I supposed to do?
04:58What?
04:59I don't want to get up pregnant and derail a modeling career.
05:01It's your dream.
05:03She should be doing whatever the hell you want.
05:04She was cool when I helped her move.
05:06In your fucking dream?
05:07I gotta go back to sleep and drive her to the airport.
05:10I think you're being taken advantage of.
05:12I'll tell you who's getting taken advantage of.
05:14Cindy Crawford, in my fantasy, while I'm jacking off in my dream.
05:19Jesus, you're like the Philip K. Dick of dicks.
05:23How about that?
05:25No.
05:26No.
05:27You got it.
05:27I can't.
05:33Fucking forget it.
05:35It's all right, Maddie.
05:36No, it's not all right, Susan.
05:38It's fucking humiliating.
05:39Maybe you're just tired of stress.
05:42Of course I'm stressed.
05:43I'm working my ass off day in and day out, and we're still barely scraping by.
05:46Who the fuck wouldn't be stressed?
05:49Have you tried thinking about Karl Yastrzemski?
05:52It's the first thing I did.
05:54What about Reagan, when he asked Gorbachev to tear down the wall?
05:59Nothing.
06:00Well, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall.
06:06Susan, I don't want to think about things going down.
06:09Maybe you should call the doctor.
06:11You know, we may be in the financial shithouse, but we got one thing going for us.
06:17We're still on the city sewage line.
06:20Whatever comes out of us, one flush, and it's off our plate.
06:25You should call the doctor.
06:34Hello?
06:35Mr. Bennett, this is Mrs. Robichek from yesterday.
06:38Oh, hey.
06:39Everything working okay?
06:41Oh, everything's fine, but I feel so stupid.
06:44I wrote your check from the wrong account.
06:46Would it be possible for me to give you a new one?
06:48Yeah, no problem.
06:50I'll send Johnny over.
06:51Um, would you mind sending over the little bear instead?
06:55Whatever you say.
06:58Hey, Ted!
06:59Well, I don't understand.
07:01Why'd she ask for you?
07:02I don't know.
07:03Maybe she's looking for the scoop on you.
07:05Maybe she wants to bang you, and she thinks I'm your pimp.
07:07Why would she think that?
07:09Because I'm always wearing fur, and you look like a bitch.
07:11What?
07:12Or maybe she wants you, but she wants to make sure you won't blab about it.
07:15Well, tell her I can keep a secret, and then do this.
07:20Yeah, that's, uh, no fingers.
07:22Oh, yeah, right.
07:23Oh, what if I just go...
07:26Oh, yeah, that's good.
07:28Man, can't believe pretty soon I'm going to be looking at a woman,
07:31than running home to jerk off in real life.
07:53Uh, hello?
07:57Hello, Theodore.
07:59Oh, uh, it's, it's just Ted.
08:02I'm sure everybody calls you Ted.
08:05I want to have a special name for you, that only I get to use.
08:12I like Theodore.
08:15Yeah, uh, Maddie says I'm supposed to pick up a check?
08:18Yes, you are.
08:22That's a pretty weird place to keep a checkbook.
08:35Ah, thanks.
08:38Wow.
08:39That's the good stuff, huh?
08:41Oh, we have the good stuff, all right.
08:43Expensive liquor, expensive food, expensive furniture.
08:48We even have outdoor pillows.
08:50Wow.
08:51And we don't even bring them in at night.
08:53Fuck me.
08:55But there's never anyone here to enjoy it with me.
09:00I get so lonely, rattling around this big old place.
09:04Yeah, I was just, uh, saying that yesterday to my, uh, co-worker.
09:08Oh, yes, there was that other fellow.
09:10What was his name again?
09:12I, I forget his name, actually.
09:14I, I, he's just one of the guys from the crew.
09:16You know, married, big family, aides.
09:19Even when my husband is here, he's not really here.
09:22He's always off working.
09:25Always off in his head somewhere.
09:27You know what I mean?
09:29E-er, e-er, e-er.
09:31What?
09:31Nothing.
09:32That was just so I don't have to lie to a friend.
09:34You look tense.
09:36Here, let me help.
09:41Oh, shit.
09:43Just relax.
09:44Hey, you're, you're, uh, your husband's not home, right?
09:47Nobody here but us chickens.
09:51Cluck, cluck.
09:52Well, I, I hope you like sucking buck-cock!
09:55What?
09:56I'm sorry, this is my first chicken-themed flirt.
09:58I was just trying stuff out.
10:00Come here.
10:15I can't believe you missed your flight.
10:19Mrs. Robichek is a goddess.
10:21How'd it go?
10:22Oh, it went, buddy.
10:23It went.
10:24Well, did you talk me up?
10:25Johnny, I tried.
10:26I really tried.
10:27But she just did not care.
10:29I, I don't know what, there's some rumor going around town that you got AIDS.
10:32Maybe that was a factor.
10:33I don't know.
10:33There was just very little interest.
10:35Oh.
10:35On the other hand, guess who has two thumbs, no fingers, and just made out with Mrs. Robichek?
10:41What?
10:42You're kidding.
10:43I don't know what happened.
10:44I walk in the door, and next thing I know, half my face is in her mouth.
10:47Hey, listen, don't be mad at me, okay?
10:49Mad?
10:50Teddy, this is epic!
10:52I know, right?
10:52And I'm gonna see her again tomorrow!
10:54You gotta tell me what happens.
10:55Oh, I will.
10:57Meantime, I hope your dad doesn't try to smell this chick.
11:04So, what is it today, Maddie?
11:06Pooping too much, or not at all?
11:07Oh, no, nothing like that.
11:09It's something embarrassing.
11:10What's the problem?
11:14The corn ain't growing.
11:20You, you know, you know what I'm telling you?
11:26I can't raise the flag over Fort Balls.
11:31Jesus Christ, my wang won't work.
11:33Ah, is this a urinary issue?
11:35Oh, I wish.
11:36I can piss like a racehorse, but I couldn't get an erection if you put a knife to my throat.
11:41Well, we'll never know that for sure.
11:43Now, we can treat the physical causes of impotence, but there's usually a psychological component as well.
11:48Are you under any elevated stress?
11:50Yeah, not being able to get a boner is pretty fucking stressful.
11:53Yes, it is.
11:54And then that stress will prevent you from getting another one.
11:56It's a paradox we call Schrodinger's boner.
11:59Did you even go to medical school?
12:01Worry a little less about me, limp dick.
12:10Blair, I need a favor.
12:11Um, knock, please.
12:13Look, I'm not going to bore you with the details, but I need to borrow your car.
12:16Okay, well, a few details wouldn't hurt.
12:19Why do you need my car?
12:20Okay, so two days ago, me and Teddy helped Dad out with a big job over in Brookline, and there
12:24was this smoking hot woman, Blair.
12:26And I had to go back over there yesterday to get the check, and let's just say I ended up
12:29getting a lot more than a check.
12:32And now he's been invited back for sexual seconds.
12:34Wow, okay.
12:36Uh, what's her name?
12:38Her name is Mrs. Robichek.
12:40Wait, what?
12:41She's married?
12:42Well, yeah, but I'm assuming not happily.
12:44If she wouldn't have stuck her tongue down my throat.
12:46Ted, you can't be partied to an affair.
12:49You're messing with someone's life.
12:50You're in the middle of someone's marriage.
12:52I'm not going to get in the middle of nothing if you don't loan me a car.
12:54What about Mr. Robichek?
12:56Have you thought about him?
12:57Oh, my God, you're right.
12:58I need a lookout.
13:00No, he is a human being, and you could ruin his life.
13:03Well, only if he finds out.
13:04Johnny, would you sit in Blair's car and be my lookout while I have dirty bear sex with Mrs. Robichek?
13:10Teddy, it would be my honor.
13:11Ted, you asked me for a favor, so I'm going to do you a favor.
13:15No, you cannot borrow my car.
13:17Blair, if you wanted to borrow my car so you could go over to some guy's house and have him
13:21knock the bottom out of you, I'd do it.
13:23Did you knock the bottom out?
13:25I don't know.
13:25My mind's messed up, because I should be over there knocking bottom out.
13:28Please leave my room.
13:34Maddie, how'd it go with the doctor?
13:36Doc says there's nothing physically wrong with me, because I should see it shrink.
13:41Oh, well, that might not be such a bad idea.
13:43Yeah, me neither.
13:44You know, why can't I get a fucking break, Susan?
13:47You know, it's just one goddamn thing after another.
13:49You know that Robichek guy?
13:50He's got his own septic tank.
13:52Oh, my.
13:53Yeah, yeah, sure.
13:54Sure, we all pretend that it's better to be on the city's sewage, but the fact is, he's rolling in
13:58fucking clover.
13:59You know, he's my age.
14:01Yeah, we're the same goddamn age.
14:02Look at his life, and look at mine.
14:04Maybe I don't want my shit going off to the city.
14:06Maybe I want it staying right here under this goddamn house.
14:09Maddie, you have a wonderful life.
14:11Yeah, for my paycheck, and all of my turds are going to the fucking government.
14:14We have such a beautiful house.
14:16I try holding it in, but I'm weak, Susan.
14:18I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
14:20Ah, forget it.
14:20I'm going to watch the game.
14:24I'm making pie.
14:32Uh, hey, Dad.
14:34What?
14:35Can we borrow the car?
14:36I'm involved with a married woman, and I want to go over to her house and fuck her while her
14:40husband's not home.
14:41Fine.
14:45Thanks.
14:50Zestfully clean my ass.
15:02Okay, if you see anybody, lay on the horn hard.
15:05Got it.
15:05You're a real pal, Johnny.
15:07You know that?
15:08Hey, a detailed description of every nuance of Mrs. Robichek's naked body, and we're even.
15:13What if there's, like, a weird mole?
15:14I want to know about it.
15:15And you should tell her.
15:16Okay.
15:17Ask her if it's changed recently.
15:18I'll keep an eye out for anything with irregular edges.
15:21And before you leave, make sure to tell her to sell wear and sunscreen.
15:23Even on cloudy days.
15:24Especially on cloudy days.
15:26God, does this woman have cancer?
15:37Well, hello there, Theodore.
15:39I was just about to run a bath.
15:40Oh.
15:41Well, I can come back.
15:42Oh, no need to leave.
15:44Well, I don't want to be just sitting around like, oh, a sex bath.
15:49Hey, can I ask you something?
15:51Sure.
15:52I mean, you're so gorgeous.
15:53You could have any guy you want.
15:55Why me?
15:56Can I confide in you?
15:58You can do anything you want in me.
16:00I learned on a teddy bear.
16:02He was soft and cuddly, but had this hard little nose.
16:07Well, I'll tell you, my nose is rock hard right now.
16:11You know what?
16:12I think that's enough talking.
16:30Arlene, can I ask you about something?
16:33Sure, Susan.
16:34I don't know how to say this.
16:37It's between you, me, and the apple tree.
16:41Maddie has a problem.
16:44Oh.
16:45This?
16:45Oh, no.
16:47Well, yes.
16:49But also in the bedroom.
16:52Oh.
16:54Too much or too little?
16:56None at all.
16:58He can't...
17:00You know how sometimes when your foot falls asleep,
17:04even if you think about Carl Yastrzemski,
17:07and the doctor says nothing's wrong with him,
17:10and I don't know what to do.
17:12Yeah, well, unfortunately, honey,
17:15this one's on you to fix.
17:17I've been trying.
17:19I opened up a fresh egg of pantyhose the other day.
17:22He didn't even notice.
17:25Take a look at this.
17:28Oh, Arlene, I couldn't read a cosmopolitan.
17:33Why not?
17:34We're Catholic.
17:36Susan, there's a lot of good stuff in there.
17:39It can point you in the right direction.
17:42Ten titillations to liven up your lovemaking.
17:46You take that home with you.
17:47My guess is there's something in there
17:49that'll help solve your problem.
17:51Gonna have to hide this so Maddie doesn't find it.
17:54Do what I do.
17:55Put it near the broom.
17:56Oh, Arlene Goldbaum, you won hot ticket.
18:08Wow, where'd you get a robe my size?
18:10I had a four-year-old son who died.
18:13What?
18:15I'm kidding.
18:17All right, one red flag, but you're still pretty hot.
18:20No, actually, I had the seamstress whip it up this morning.
18:24And I have something else for you, too.
18:26What is it?
18:28I thought we could take this to the next level.
18:31Well, you know, the Hasbro Corporation left out one little detail.
18:35I thought of that.
18:37Hurry up!
18:39I want to see it!
18:40Hang on, just getting it on here.
18:44It does go on the front, right?
18:54Hmm.
18:56That was mind-blowing.
18:58Sorry I came so fast.
19:01No, seriously.
19:02I particularly like the part where you spun me around like a steering wheel.
19:06Hmm.
19:07I call that the ten and two.
19:09The ten and two.
19:11Nice.
19:12Next time, how about you wear the dog collar?
19:15Fuck me near the electric fence.
19:17Well, that's a second red flag, but hey, still hot.
19:29Blair here.
19:31Oh, hey, Aunt Seuss.
19:33You have a minute?
19:34Yeah, sure.
19:35Come on in.
19:38Sorry to bother you, but I need some advice.
19:42Of course.
19:43What's up?
19:46Maddie's been having a problem.
19:49Okay, what kind of problem?
19:50It's a personal issue in his bathing suit area.
19:56Oh.
19:56And I've been looking through this article on ways to help, but I don't even know what
20:01most of these things mean.
20:03Yeah, if you promise to never use the phrase Maddie's bathing suit area again, I will help
20:10you.
20:11Okay.
20:11Okay.
20:12Um, these are called kinks.
20:15Well, some of these things don't seem so bad.
20:18A pearl necklace.
20:20A facial.
20:22Sounds like a day of pampering.
20:24Yeah, that's not...
20:25Day at the spa.
20:26No.
20:26It's not what that is at all.
20:28Now, do people really do this one?
20:30Oh, I mean, um, I'm sure someone, somewhere.
20:35I've never even made a fist in anger, let alone...
20:38Let's keep looking down this list.
20:40What's a golden shower?
20:42That is when you go to the bathroom on your partner.
20:46Oh, my.
20:48Okay.
20:48Would we need our own septic tank?
20:50Okay.
20:51What else?
20:52What else is on the list?
20:54Exhibitionism.
20:55Is that like at a museum?
20:57No, that's when, uh, you are intimate with someone watching.
21:03I wonder if Maddie would like someone else watching.
21:06I don't know.
21:08I imagine it'd have to be a Republican.
21:10You know what?
21:11I have an idea.
21:13Why don't we put this away and never look at it again?
21:16All right.
21:17Okay.
21:20What's a ten and two?
21:31Oh, shit!
21:34Oh, boss.
21:35Why would you do that?
21:36I am so sorry.
21:38I didn't see you.
21:39Look at my groceries!
21:40Oh, get him!
21:42Jesus, did you buy anything that isn't round?
21:44Fuck you!
21:46You know, I hope you don't think this is too sudden of me, but...
21:50I love you!
21:52Aw, that's sweet.
21:54And that's literally from the heart.
21:57You know, as crazy as it sounds, Mrs. Robichick,
22:00I really am falling in love with you.
22:02And I don't even know your first name.
22:05You don't?
22:06That's insane.
22:09Well, Theodore, my name is...
22:12Hunt?
22:13Home?
22:14Oh, my God.
22:15That's my husband.
22:16He wasn't supposed to be back till tomorrow.
22:25Shit, shit, shit, shit!
22:27What do we do?
22:30That fucking thing won't come off!
22:32Where are you?
22:33Um, I'm...
22:34I'm upstairs!
22:37Quick, get under the bed!
22:53Where is he?
22:54What are you talking about?
22:56Don't.
22:56There are two half-empty glasses downstairs.
22:59Two cigarette butts in the ashtray.
23:00Where the fuck is he?
23:01I can explain.
23:02I'm gonna kill you, you motherfucker!
23:04You in here?
23:04David, please!
23:05Is he in the bathroom?
23:06Huh?
23:07You in the bathroom, you little shit!
23:09Huh?
23:13I swear to Christ, you better tell me where he is or I'm gonna...
23:18What the fuck is this?
23:21Is that pervert's idea of a romantic gift?
23:23Huh?
23:24A teddy bear with a dick on it?
23:27Jesus Christ, Charlotte!
23:29Charlotte?
23:30I know he's in here.
23:31When I get my hands on that motherfucker, I'm gonna...
23:33What?
23:34You'll what, David?
23:36Reschedule a conference call?
23:38Cancel a meeting?
23:39Ignore your pager?
23:41You won't do shit.
23:42And for your information, that motherfucker is more of a man in bed than you'll ever be.
23:48You think about that.
23:52You're probably right.
23:54I need a drink.
24:21I need a drink.
24:27I'll keep him busy.
24:28Give me about a minute and then sneak out the front door.
24:30Got it.
24:32All right, here we go.
24:34Sorry.
24:35About time.
24:37Jesus!
24:38Pinball and soda pop has turned all you gives into assholes!
24:49Uh, David.
24:50Don't say anything.
24:51Please.
24:52Let's not embarrass ourselves any more than we already have.
24:57That's him.
24:57We're gonna kill that motherfucker!
24:59David, wait!
25:02Johnny!
25:03Johnny!
25:05Johnny!
25:05Johnny, start the car!
25:11What the fuck is that?
25:12Me, purple dick!
25:13Go, go, go!
25:14We gotta get the fuck out of here!
25:18You motherfucker!
25:20PMN 653, PMN 653, PMN 653, PMN 653.
25:30She's playing it.
25:32She's playing it herself.
25:35Climb, baby.
25:37Climb.
25:39Climb.
25:40We're so close.
25:49Can I help you?
25:51I figured you'd look like that.
25:53Just a primitive ball of muscle.
25:56Wait, you...
25:57You're David Robichek, the big-shot lawyer.
26:00Yep.
26:01And you're Matt Bennett.
26:03That's your car parked outside, right?
26:05Yeah, I just installed your wireless fence.
26:07Based on what my wife told me, you did a lot more than that.
26:10Oh, yeah, well, I checked out the plumbing in the back, you know, poked around a little bit.
26:14Son of a bitch!
26:15Whoa, whoa, I'm sorry.
26:16I just wanted to see where the poop goes.
26:18Your wife seemed fine with it.
26:19Okay, stop it!
26:20Okay!
26:22I just need to know your secret.
26:25My secret?
26:28What makes you such an incredible lover?
26:32How do you cast such a spell over women?
26:35Um, you know what, I'll pay you.
26:38I'll pay you $1,000 to watch.
26:41To... to watch what?
26:43Fine, I'll pay you $5,000, but not with my wife.
26:46I don't think I can handle that.
26:48Oh, am I missing something here?
26:50Oh, Jesus Christ, do I have to spell it out for you?
26:52I will pay you $5,000 to watch you have sex with your wife.
26:57What?
26:57I could be mad at you, but I'm not.
27:02Truth is, I'm envious.
27:04You're obviously a stallion of some kind, and I'm...
27:08not.
27:09I want to learn from a master.
27:13Five grand?
27:29Would you excuse me?
27:43Uh, Susan?
27:45Yeah?
27:47Um...
27:49I'm gonna ask you something.
27:50And it may scare you at first, but before you say no, just think about it.
27:57What is it?
28:01Would you...
28:03have sex with me while another guy watches?
28:07Oh, Maddie!
28:10Of course I would!
28:12Really?
28:13Oh!
28:14Thank you, Cosmopolitan!
28:21All righty.
28:22Can you find it?
28:23I'll just move it a little bit.
28:25Mr. Robichek, would you like some coffee?
28:27No, I'm fine.
28:28I'm just here to watch the sex.
28:30All right, well, here we go.
28:43That ought to do it.
28:45That's it?
28:46That's how my dad showed me!
28:49I'm not more confused than ever.
28:57Maddie!
28:58You're all better!
29:00Yeah, I guess so.
29:01Oh, I love you so much.
29:05Well, same here.
29:08And I want you to know, whatever kinks you may have, you can always tell me.
29:17Jesus Christ, Susan!
29:19Why do you gotta ruin everything?
29:31Wow, you look fantastic!
29:33Ted, what are you doing here?
29:35Look, I had to come here and tell you.
29:37I really am in love with you.
29:39And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
29:41Which could possibly be like a thousand years.
29:44We ain't really figured that one out yet.
29:45But I can be a better man to you than he ever could.
29:48Ted, I can't.
29:51What?
29:52Is this because I took that eight dollars?
29:54What?
29:55Oh, I...
29:56Never mind, nothing.
29:57Look, you're very sweet.
29:59And what we had was fun.
30:01And wonderful.
30:02But David and I are gonna try and make things work.
30:05But he's an asshole!
30:07You've only seen one side of him.
30:09I went up on you!
30:11David came home last night, remorseful and contrite.
30:14He told me he still loves me more than life itself.
30:16And something else about having no idea the sexual bar was so low.
30:20But anyway, he's my husband and I'm gonna keep him.
30:24But...
30:24I know you'll find that special person that you can share your life with.
30:28She'll be all yours.
30:30Not someone else's.
30:32You good, hon?
30:33Um, I'll be ready in a minute!
30:35Who's at the door?
30:36It's nobody, sweetheart.
30:39Goodbye, Ted.
30:57I'll never find anybody else.
31:00There'll never be another Mrs. Robachek.
31:03Oh, buddy, I'm so sorry.
31:05I wish you'd never wished me alive.
31:07I can't handle the agony.
31:10Everything's gonna be okay.
31:11All right?
31:12You'll see.
31:13No.
31:13There will never be another woman for me.
31:16Not ever.
31:21I never saw Mrs. Robachek again after that.
31:23I heard she and her husband move to Barcelona.
31:26Eventually, my pain subsided.
31:28And then one day, years later, at an adults-only flea market,
31:32who did I run into but the old purple dildo?
31:35He had some scratches and a few dog bites, but it was him all right.
31:39We exchanged a few laughs and then went our separate ways.
31:43We didn't say goodbye, though.
31:44I guess we both wanted to keep the door open.
31:47Occasionally, I'll put an ad in the classifieds, see if he answers.
31:51You ever feel like you don't know when to stop talking?
32:00Oh, you've got a head full of someone dreadful
32:04And yet, alas, that someone adores you
32:09Everybody needs a best friend
32:13I'm happy I'm yours
32:16I'm just a clown
32:19And I'll bring you down
32:22But you just don't care if it's yours
32:29Best friend is me
33:00Best friend is me
33:02Best friend is me
33:02Best friend is me
33:05Best friend is me
33:06Best friend is me
33:06Best friend is me
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