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The Flintstones S01E23 The Astra Nuts HMAX DD2 BTW
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00:04Pretty swell of a sergeant to tip us off about the secret mission, huh, Bernie?
00:08Yeah, we've got to remember not to talk to anyone about it.
00:12It's a top secret.
00:13Well, that should be easy.
00:14We don't know anything about it.
00:16And now, gentlemen, we shall conduct a series of experiments
00:20to test your reactions under certain peculiar conditions.
00:24In this first experiment, we will test your reaction to gravity.
00:31How are we doing?
00:32I will tell you in just a moment.
00:37Reaction to gravity normally, hmm?
01:02Let's go.
01:03Let's go.
01:05Let's go.
01:09Let's go.
01:28The End
01:40And here is the insurance policy you and your husband ordered, Mrs. Flintstone.
01:44It goes into effect as soon as Mr. Flintstone takes his physical examination.
01:49I see. And where does he take the examination?
01:51At the medical building, 57 Main Street.
01:54Fine. I'll see that he gets down there right away.
01:57And thank you for dropping it off, Mr. Mortar.
02:00You're welcome, Mrs. Flintstone. Goodbye.
02:02Goodbye.
02:03Goodbye, Mrs. Rubble.
02:04Goodbye, Mr. Mortar.
02:06Say, Wilma, what's all that fine chipping on the bottom?
02:09Oh, that's on all insurance policies.
02:12Like, uh, it pays double if a frozen pizza pie falls on your head.
02:16Unlike that.
02:17Oh.
02:18How did you ever talk Fred into taking out insurance?
02:21Oh, I didn't call it insurance.
02:24That would suggest Fred wasn't immortal.
02:26I told him the company was searching for a perfect physical specimen.
02:30And all the contestants had to take out a policy to enter the contest.
02:36That's pretty good.
02:38I wonder if it'd work with Barney.
02:40You know what he said the last time we talked about insurance?
02:42No, what?
02:43He said he wasn't setting it up for some second husband of mine to paint the town.
02:48Especially after he bought the paint.
02:51Oh, man.
02:52I guess no woman really understands them.
02:55No, but it's fun trying.
02:57Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:20Okay, Fred, let her go.
03:23Right, Charlie.
03:33Sorry, Charlie.
03:35It's okay, Fred.
03:37No harm done.
03:39Lucky you had your safety helmet on.
03:45Rockhead and Quarry Cave Construction Company.
03:48Who?
03:49Fred Flintstone.
03:51Yeah, holo line.
03:53Hey, Fred!
03:54Fred, it's for you, your wife.
03:57Be right there.
04:05Going up.
04:09Thanks, Mac.
04:11Flintstone speaking.
04:13Oh, what's up, Wilma?
04:15Oh, the guy was there about the contest in the insurance company.
04:18Can I have any man to go?
04:20The physical?
04:21Can I go home?
04:21Why bother?
04:22They can see I'm in perfect health.
04:24Can I go home?
04:25Can I go home?
04:25Oh, one of the rules, then.
04:27All right.
04:29Where do I go?
04:30Betty, where did Mr. Mortar say Fred was to go for his physical?
04:34Oh, well, someplace on Main Street.
04:36I think he said the number was 75.
04:4075 Main Street, Fred.
04:42Why don't you drop by there on the way home?
04:44The man's a clean.
04:45The man's a clean.
04:46Now, don't get panicky, Fred.
04:48Stop worrying.
04:49I'll grab his head on it.
04:50I tell you, there's nothing to worry about.
04:53I'll grab his head on it.
04:54Yes, I will.
04:56The man's a clean.
04:56Okay.
04:57Cross my heart.
04:58I promise I'll keep your dinner hot for you.
05:01Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
05:02I'll see you later.
05:03Thank you, sir.
05:04Bye-bye.
05:05From the way he carried on, I thought I'd have to bring it to the gravel pits.
05:09Barney's driving today, so you better keep his dinner warm, too.
05:12Mm-hmm.
05:14Say, Wilma, I'm not sure of that number on Main Street.
05:18Mm, 75 Main Street.
05:20Sounds right.
05:21Besides, Fred will know enough to check the phone book
05:24if we gave him the wrong address.
05:26Sure nice of you to drive me down to Main Street, Barney.
05:30Think nothing of it.
05:31My pleasure.
05:33Hey, uh, how come you get a physical, Fred?
05:35It's one of the rules in the contest I'm in.
05:38I'd suggest you get in the contest, too, but you wouldn't have a chance.
05:42You're over the hill athletically.
05:44Your reflexes don't flex anymore.
05:47What are you talking about?
05:48I'm as flexy as I ever was.
05:50Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed of, Barney boy.
05:52Some guys retain youthful muscle tone, like me.
05:57And others get all spongy, like you.
05:59Oh, yeah?
06:00Well, I'm going to enter that contest, and I bet I'll beat you.
06:03That's okay with me, Barney boy.
06:06Just don't whimper when you lose, eh?
06:08Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.
06:13Well, this is Main Street.
06:15Hey, uh, what number we looking for?
06:17Uh, 75.
06:19There it is, down the street.
06:22Whoa-wee!
06:23Look at all the guys!
06:24Well, that's to be expected.
06:26It's a big contest.
06:27But those guys don't stand a chance.
06:30Hey, Mac, is this the line for the physicals?
06:33Yeah, this is it.
06:34We're all set, Barney.
06:35All right, you man, step inside.
06:42Sure, mister, we'll be happy to give you a physical.
06:45That's what we're here for.
06:47And my friend would like to get in this thing, too.
06:49Fine. The more, the merrier.
06:52Just sign on the dotted line, and you're both in.
06:55I'll sign first.
06:59There you are, bud.
07:00Good. Now your friend.
07:02Here's the pen, bud.
07:06Anything else?
07:07Only the physical.
07:08Hey, Doc, I got a couple of greenhorns for you.
07:12Okay, I'll take the big flabby one first.
07:15The big flabby one. That's you, Fred.
07:18Then I'll take the little spongy one.
07:21That's you, Barney.
07:25How am I doing, Doc?
07:26Well, so far, so good.
07:28Now we'll try your reflexes next.
07:32Hey, Doc.
07:34Look, it's moving.
07:37Reflex is normal.
07:39Okay, next.
07:41Uh, like this, Doc?
07:43Yeah, that's fine.
07:47There's always one in every crowd.
07:52Hey, how long does this keep up, Fred?
07:54We gotta get home.
07:55Yeah, I'm getting hungry.
07:57Ah, a couple of more recruits, eh?
08:00Well, step right up, fellas.
08:02We'll GI you right now.
08:04One for you, and one for you.
08:07Welcome to the Army.
08:09The Army?
08:11Hey, what's he talking about, Fred?
08:12I don't know, but I'm not sticking around to find out.
08:15Let's get out of here.
08:20Ouch.
08:21Oops.
08:22Watch it, Mac.
08:23That thing is sharp.
08:27Congratulations, men.
08:29You've just broken the record for going over the hill.
08:32Three minutes and 23 seconds after joining the Army.
08:36You don't understand.
08:37This whole thing is a big mistake.
08:39Yeah.
08:40It looks like we made the mistake in thinking we can make soldiers out of you in three short years.
08:45All right, years?
08:47Are you kidding?
08:49My wife wouldn't stand for it.
08:51I'd demand to go home right now.
08:53Certainly.
08:55Sergeant, show these men to their new home.
08:58Yes, sir.
08:59Come on, you guys.
09:04Hello, Wilma.
09:05Fred, guess where I am.
09:08I know where you're not, and that's home where you should be.
09:12I got some news for you, honey.
09:13Listen, Barney and I just joined the Army.
09:18It sounded like you said Barney and you joined the Army.
09:24Now, let's have it again, Fred.
09:26Barney and I just joined the Army for three years.
09:32You and Barney joined the Army for three years?
09:37Don't expect me to keep your dinner hot that long, Fred.
09:40But, honey, it's not like I won't be home again.
09:44Barney and I got a three-hour pass for the night.
09:47Three whole hours?
09:49I'll explain it to you when I see you, Wilma.
09:51Goodbye.
09:52You couldn't explain it to me in three years, and I'm in it.
09:55This is all Wilma's fault.
09:57She told me to go to 75 Main Street for a physical checkup.
10:07Wilma, Betty, guess they're not home.
10:11You'd think they'd be here.
10:13We already got a little time.
10:22We thought you'd appreciate a military homecoming.
10:26Very funny.
10:29Very funny.
10:31Only we wouldn't be in the Army if it wasn't for you, too.
10:34What?
10:35Do you mean to tell me I told you to join the Army?
10:39You told me to go to 75 Main Street and take a physical.
10:43And 75 Main Street is the Army recruiting office.
10:48And they give physicals there.
10:51Didn't you tell me 75?
10:53Maybe it was 57?
10:55All I know is it's Fred's fault.
10:57What do you mean my fault?
10:58It's Wilma's fault.
10:59It's Betty's fault.
11:00It's your fault.
11:02Wait a minute.
11:03Let's do that over again, and I'll start it this time.
11:07Oh, why bother?
11:09What's done is done.
11:10It's no use crying over spilt milk.
11:12Cry over spilt milk.
11:15There's spilt milk.
11:16I laugh at spilt milk.
11:20But this Army thing I can't laugh off.
11:23Hey, Fred, we gotta get going.
11:26It's a long way back to the camp.
11:27I don't want you to go, Barney.
11:29Well, don't feel bad, honey.
11:30It's not like it's forever.
11:33I'll be home in three years.
11:35Yeah, three years will go pretty fast.
11:39They will not.
11:40I'll miss you.
11:43I'll get it.
11:45Fred Flintstone speaking.
11:50That's it, Fred.
11:51We gotta go.
11:52They sure keep track of a guy in this man's army.
11:56Goodbye, Wilma.
11:57Bye, Betty.
11:58We'll write to you every day.
12:00Yeah, me too, Betty.
12:02How do they always manage to bollocks things up, Betty?
12:06I don't know, Wilma.
12:08Practice, I guess.
12:13Company, attention.
12:15Forward.
12:16Arch.
12:17Hut, two, three, four.
12:19Hut, two, three, four.
12:21Hut, two, three, four.
12:23Hey, fatso, stick that chest out.
12:26Swing those arms.
12:27Hut, two, three, four.
12:29Hut, two, three, four.
12:31To the rear.
12:33Arch.
12:33Hut, two, three, four.
12:36Hut, two, three, four.
12:38We've been marching for two weeks now.
12:41But we don't get no place.
12:42Yeah.
12:43All I get is beat feet.
12:45I'm the devil.
12:47Arch.
12:48Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.
12:52Oh, my feet are killing me.
12:54Feet.
12:55Mine are so numb, I forgot I had them.
12:57Company, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.
13:01Okay, men, take a ten-second break.
13:06I, I, I, I, I can't take it, Fred.
13:09Me neither.
13:11Look at my foot.
13:12Blisters on top of the blisters.
13:15Barney, let's play this thing smart and ditch all this marching stuff.
13:19Well, I, I heard they're reactivating a cavalry company, and they're looking for guys who can
13:26ride.
13:26But, but I don't know how to ride, Fred.
13:29I don't either.
13:30But we got three years to learn.
13:36And in his letter, Fred said he and Barney were promoted to the cavalry.
13:40Mm-hmm.
13:41Barney wrote to me about it, too.
13:43I can just see them now.
13:45They and their mounts galloping along as one.
13:49Like poetry in motion.
14:17Well, that does it.
14:23Are you all right, Fred?
14:24Yeah, but we're transferring out of this cavalry right now.
14:29Okay, Fred.
14:30Hey, let's talk to that new sergeant.
14:32He, he's a pretty nice guy.
14:36Sergeant, the professor's project, Man Into Space, is at a standstill.
14:42Because you, sergeant, have not come up with two volunteers yet.
14:45Yeah, already the spaceship is getting kaput.
14:49But, general, sir, I ask the fellows casually, casually, you know, without revealing the secret,
14:54sir.
14:55And to a man, there's a singular lack of enthusiasm for being shot into outer space, sir.
15:00We have to face up to it, sir.
15:02The spirit of adventure is dead.
15:04It ended with you, sir.
15:06An officer not afraid to lead.
15:08An officer and a gentleman who would never allow a man to do anything he wouldn't do first.
15:13With the look of eagles in your eyes, sir.
15:16The first one-star general ever to go into orbit.
15:19Just think of it, sir.
15:21Think of it.
15:25Oh, gosh.
15:32Into orbit?
15:33Are you one of your cotton-picking mind?
15:36I'm in charge of this space, Megillah, and those in charge never go.
15:41I've noticed that, sir.
15:42So I'll ask the men again, hmm?
15:44Ask the men.
15:45Ask the men.
15:46This new army bugs me.
15:48We used to tell the men, and that's what I'm doing.
15:51You get two volunteers today, or you're going to volunteer if I have to strap you in the capsule myself.
15:58Yeesh.
15:59Oh, boy.
16:00And don't give me any bourgeois about regulations.
16:03There are a lot of ex-GIs who direct a statue to anyone who put a top sergeant into orbit.
16:09Now, where could I get two guys naive enough to volunteer?
16:13Oh, Mr. Sergeant, could we see you a minute?
16:16Yeah, we want to transfer out of the cavalry.
16:19Transfer out of the cavalry?
16:21Hmm.
16:22Come on in, fellas.
16:24This is your lucky day.
16:25Lucky, lucky, lucky.
16:27I've got just the thing for you.
16:29It's a secret mission.
16:31A secret mission?
16:33Shh!
16:33You never know who's listening.
16:35It's so secret I can't even tell you about it.
16:37All I can tell you is that compared to the cavalry, this assignment is out of this world.
16:42Out, out, out, out, out.
16:43That's good enough for us.
16:45We volunteer.
16:47Good, good, good, good, good.
16:49Report to Professor Von Pebbleschmidt and tell him you're the Pigeons.
16:52Volunteers, he asked for.
16:55Oh, the general will be so proud of me.
16:57Maybe I'll get a cluster on my good conduct medal.
17:02Pretty swell of the sergeant to tip us off about the secret mission, huh, Bernie?
17:06Yeah.
17:07We've got to remember not to talk to anyone about it.
17:09It's a top secret.
17:10Well, that should be easy.
17:11We don't know anything about it.
17:13Hey, here come the two volunteers that are going to shoot into space.
17:16I wonder how they found two brave guys like that.
17:20It's simple.
17:21I just didn't tell them what they're volunteering for.
17:23Hiya, fellas.
17:24Hiya, soldier.
17:25When did they blast off?
17:27I don't know.
17:28But I'll check with the waitress at the diner.
17:30She gets all the scuttlebutt.
17:32And now, gentlemen, we shall conduct a series of experiments to test your reactions under certain peculiar conditions.
17:41Please to follow me.
17:43Lead the way.
17:45In this first experiment, we will test your reaction to gravity.
17:50So, how are we doing?
17:55I will tell you in just a moment.
18:00Reaction to gravity normal.
18:02Whatever goes up high comes down hard.
18:06Hmm?
18:07And now, gentlemen, we will proceed with the Centro...
18:11The Centro...
18:12The Centro...
18:13The Spinning Experiment.
18:15We will see how many RPMs you could take.
18:20Okay, boys?
18:21Fire one!
18:26Sergeant, make them stop.
18:29I'm getting dizzy.
18:31Okay, men.
18:32Halt!
18:35At ease.
18:39Reaction normal.
18:40They flopped right on their faces.
18:43And now for the rapid acceleration tests.
18:47When I cut this rope...
18:50What velocity!
18:57Watch it, Bernie.
18:58That hollow log up ahead.
19:04Boy, that was good driving, Barney boy.
19:07Nothing to it, Fred.
19:08Look, no hands.
19:13Congratulations, men.
19:14You passed all the tests.
19:16And now, the time has come to say farewell.
19:21You mean we'll be out of the army?
19:22You'll not only be out of the army,
19:24you'll be out of everything.
19:25You name it, you're out of it.
19:27How about that, Barney?
19:29We're getting out.
19:29Gee, what a nice general.
19:32And as a tribute to your courage,
19:34the boys are giving you a musical send-off.
19:37All right, maestro.
19:38Start playing.
19:39Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, general.
19:42Attention, men.
19:44And the one and the two on the plane.
19:50Gosh, Fred, isn't that nice?
19:52Yeah.
19:53And look at the soldiers.
19:55They're all lined up in our honor.
19:58Thanks, fellas.
19:59Come on down to the canteen tonight.
20:01The milkshakes are on me.
20:03I'm all choked up.
20:05I've never seen such an exhibition of raw courage.
20:09There should be something we could do for them.
20:12We could blast them off now, sir.
20:14That's it.
20:15Blast them off.
20:16I can't stand watching this.
20:26Hey, what kind of contraption is this, Fred?
20:29Excites me, Barney.
20:31Hey, Sarge, are we going someplace?
20:33No, boy.
20:36Yes.
20:37Isn't it exciting?
20:37Don't forget to drop us a card when you get to the moon.
20:40The moon?
20:41The moon?
20:42The moon.
20:43The moon.
20:44Did you hear that, Barney?
20:46Yeah.
20:47What a sense of humor.
20:51It's a fine machine, professor.
20:53Just one thing.
20:55How are the men going to get fresh air?
20:57Fresh air?
20:58Oh, for goodness sake.
21:00I knew I forgot something.
21:02Somebody knock a couple of holes in that thing.
21:08Sheriff, come quick.
21:09Sundown Cobblestone is in town.
21:12Sundown Cobblestone?
21:13When did he get out of the calaboose?
21:16We interrupt this program for a special announcement.
21:19Scientists at Camp Millstone are about to send two men into space.
21:23The brave volunteer astronauts are Private Fred Flintstone and Private Barney Rubble.
21:28Keep tuned to this station for further developments.
21:31Fred?
21:32Barney?
21:33Oh, my gosh.
21:34We'd better get down there fast and stop them.
21:36Hold it!
21:37Hold it!
21:38Wait for us!
21:41We are all ready, General.
21:44Start the countdown.
21:46And keep cross the fingers.
21:48Right.
21:49Commencing countdown.
21:51Six.
21:52Five.
21:53Four.
21:54Three.
21:55Two.
21:55One.
21:55Fire!
22:01Well, Father, you know.
22:03It worked.
22:06Hey, you.
22:07We want to speak to our husbands.
22:08Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone.
22:11Professor, have we got another rocket?
22:13No.
22:13I only build one.
22:15I'm sorry, madam, but that will be impossible.
22:17Private Rubble and Private Flintstone are somewhere out there.
22:24We're out of here.
22:26Somebody call the police.
22:28Barney, look.
22:30All I can see is clouds.
22:32We must be a million miles up.
22:34We're on our way to the moon, Fred.
22:36Yeah.
22:38The sergeant wasn't kidding.
22:40It's starting to land.
22:42Doc!
22:43Barney, boy.
22:44This is it.
22:45I want you to know I'm sorry for all the mean things I ever done to you.
22:49Likewise, Fred.
22:50We had a lot of laughs together.
22:52So long, pal.
22:54So long, Barney.
22:55You're the best little friend I ever had.
23:04Barney?
23:05Yeah, Fred?
23:06You okay?
23:08I...
23:09I think so.
23:11Boy, that was a rough landed.
23:13Look, Fred.
23:14Look at all the craters.
23:16It's just like the pictures of the moon I've seen.
23:19Yeah.
23:20Gives you a funny feeling being a first man on the moon.
23:24Yeah.
23:24You know what this means, Barney?
23:27We're famous.
23:28We'll be on the front page of every newspaper.
23:31Every school kid will read about us in a history book.
23:34What do you think of that, Barney?
23:37Oh, I think it's great, Fred.
23:38Only there's one thing that bothers me.
23:40What's that?
23:41How are we gonna get back to read about it?
23:44There they are, ladies.
23:45They're not even bent.
23:47Yoo-hoo, Fred.
23:48Are you all right?
23:50Wilma!
23:50Buddy!
23:51What are they doing up here on the moon?
23:54Fred Flintstone, you come out of that thing this instant.
23:57You too, Barney Rubble.
23:59Whatever made you think you could fly a thing like that?
24:02Well, it was Fred's idea.
24:03He got tired of walking, so we volunteered.
24:06And I'm unvolunteering right now.
24:09Congratulations, men.
24:11You're the first guys we ever got off the ground.
24:13I'll get a medal for this.
24:15And you two heroes can have anything you want.
24:18Just name it.
24:19These two heroes want out of the army.
24:22And that's final.
24:24Okay, boys.
24:25If that's what you want, you're both out.
24:28That's what we want, sir.
24:30Right, sir.
24:31We both want O-U-T-T out.
24:35Do you mind if we take over from here, General?
24:38They're all yours, ladies.
24:41All right, you guys.
24:43Tension.
24:44Mutt.
24:45Chime.
24:46Hutch.
24:48Bird Hutch.
24:50Hump.
24:50Two.
24:51Three.
24:51Four.
24:52Hump.
24:53Two.
24:53Three.
24:54Four.
24:54How do you like that, Barney?
24:56Out of one man's army, right into one woman's army.
25:00But I like it.
25:02You're not kidding, Barney.
25:03Let's head for home and some home cooking.
25:07On the double.
25:08March.
25:09Hump.
25:09Two.
25:10Three.
25:10Four.
25:10Hump.
25:11Hump.
25:12Hump.
25:13Hump.
25:13Hump.
25:14Hump.
25:14Hump.
25:15Hump.
25:17Calvary.
25:26GENDIZEN
25:33Oh, my God.
25:58Wilma!
26:03Wilma!
26:05Come on, Wilma, open this door!
26:09Wilma!
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