I thought I understood Paris… but I was wrong 🇫🇷
In this video, I share what I misunderstood about life in Paris and the reality behind common assumptions. From cultural differences to everyday habits, here’s what surprised me the most.
#paris #parislife #frenchculture #expectationsvsreality #france #culturaldifferences #parisvlog #lifeinparis #learnfrench #shorts
In this video, I share what I misunderstood about life in Paris and the reality behind common assumptions. From cultural differences to everyday habits, here’s what surprised me the most.
#paris #parislife #frenchculture #expectationsvsreality #france #culturaldifferences #parisvlog #lifeinparis #learnfrench #shorts
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00I've just spent two months visiting the US and as a French person I noticed that there are some
00:04things that I totally got wrong. For example one thing I fully misunderstood before visiting the
00:09US was how much cultural difference there is between places. As Europeans we hear so much
00:15about the US either from TV shows or the news so we tend to think that we know the American
00:20culture
00:21but I personally had no idea how things changed so much from place to place and that's something
00:25I noticed right away on my first trip to the US. So I've been coming to the US for over
00:3010 years to
00:30visit friends and family and I swear as Europeans were unaware at how big the cultural differences
00:35are from place to place and that's something I love discovering and learning about. Like for example
00:39during this trip we decided to go to Texas and I had been there before but here I visited some
00:44new
00:44places, discovered some new foods and even went to the Texas state fair which is something I had never
00:50seen before in my life. We also went to Tennessee and to Georgia and I could feel the difference
00:54between all of the states right away. Not only in food but also in people and culture and while
00:59there's a pretty big difference from state to state, where you live as well within the state kind of
01:04matters a lot. Like there's a big difference from city to city and as well as from city to country.
01:09Like first obviously the landscapes are very different. I've been to over 15 states now and
01:14things don't really look the same. Also different regions have different historical backgrounds and I
01:19really love learning about them. Like recently on the channel I did a deep dive on the Cajun culture of
01:24Louisiana and this was so fun and super interesting. Also when we were in Texas we learned about the
01:29history and the heritage of this state which was so interesting to me as someone who's French and
01:34has Spanish origin. But anyway we'll get a bit deeper into the topic of heritage in a bit but now
01:39and every time I come back to the US I feel that any attempt to define all Americans at once
01:44and say
01:44something like all Americans are this or all Americans are that is like a hundred percent wrong.
01:49Like there's 340 million people in the US so when I hear someone say something like that I can't help
01:55but intervene and tell them that the US is a very diverse place with a lot of different types of
02:00people. You know like any country or region I would say. And I say that a lot because one thing
02:05I love
02:05about the US and that I personally benefited from when I was living there a few years ago is that
02:10it's a
02:11place where you can truly create your own lifestyle and unique identity. And this is more than a thing I
02:16just
02:17misunderstood. Like as a French person I truly didn't know you could actually do that. So let me
02:22explain. So even though France is a very diverse country as well there's a strong sense that there's
02:27a right way to do things because we've always done them this certain way. A silly example that everyone
02:32can understand is that there's a right way to make a croissant and there's no reason to change it.
02:37It's just perfect and delicious as it is. But I do feel sometimes that people value tradition
02:42and having a clear understandable identity a bit too much for my taste. Like for example I went to a
02:48very good college in France and people still ask me about it regularly even though I'm a 32 year old
02:54youtuber right now. So it obviously doesn't matter too much. And one thing I'll always remember from my
02:59education is that I always was pushed towards numbers and I ended up studying finance because I
03:04was pretty good at it but I didn't really like it. And when I asked about a different path I
03:08could take
03:08a teacher told me that it was I quote not for people like me. And I'll guess we'll never know
03:13what she meant exactly but I took it as there is one right path you should take. So yeah with
03:18that
03:18French cultural context I kind of thought that your identity was something that was fixed and that I
03:23had to follow a specific life path and that is until I moved to the US and I felt that
03:27people felt
03:28more free to live in their own unique way and you know do things differently pivot if they didn't like
03:33something or just try new things. And luckily for me I noticed this pretty early on not only from living
03:38in
03:38New York City which is a super diverse city with all types of people but also from taking a road
03:43trip to rural Colorado where in one week I got to talk to a rancher family that was passionate about
03:48hunting and that had a lot of taxidermy animals in their living room, a firefighter in a reservation,
03:54an online shaman and a tech guy passionate about electric cars. This was kind of a big revelation to me
04:00because I love how forward people are in the US about their identity and how free people feel to live
04:06their own unique lives. So yeah this may seem silly if you're an American but at the time I was
04:10young
04:11and I didn't know you could follow pretty much any life path you wanted and not what you should be
04:15doing. So at the time I was working an investment banking job in New York City and talking to all
04:20types of people who are doing things a bit differently kind of inspired me to quit without anything lined up
04:25and the reactions were pretty interesting because all my French friends were slightly horrified and a bit
04:30concerned for me whereas my American friends were so happy for me and thought it was the best decision
04:35ever. So yeah I really love how in the US it's socially accepted to try new things and you know
04:40pivot if you don't like them or things don't work out and this mindset has unlocked choices that I
04:45didn't even know were available to me like being a YouTuber. So yeah I clearly wouldn't be here if I
04:49hadn't lived in the US. But surprisingly the thing I struggled the most with when I first moved to the
04:54US is actually a thing I love now that I've fully accepted it. I've talked about it before on the
04:58channel
04:59but making friends as an adult when you're not in college for example is already pretty hard but
05:03making friends as an adult in a fully new place where you don't really understand the culture
05:08is even harder. So when I moved to the US I truly misunderstood how friendly people were because
05:14everyone wanted to talk to me, people told me they wanted to make plans with me, people were inviting
05:19me to their homes but actually no one followed through. And at first this was really hard for me
05:24because I misunderstood friendliness for you know being actually friends with someone. And friends
05:29were a bit more guarded as a culture so you wouldn't just invite a random person to your house just
05:34to
05:34be polite. If you invite someone to your house you're actually making plans with them and they will
05:39come to your house. And when I first moved to the US there kind of was a moment when I
05:43noticed that I
05:44didn't have any friends and that all those friendly people were actually just being nice and polite with
05:50me. And I fully misunderstood them. Obviously this was a very hard revelation but once I understood
05:55this and accepted that you know we just have different social norms around friendliness and
06:00being friends this was amazing because I actually knew how to make friends after that. So yeah lucky
06:05I understood this. I made friends through hobbies and through friends of friends and now I am proud to
06:10say that I do have friends in the US. And that if someone invites me to their home or is
06:15overly friendly to
06:16me I know how to make the difference between being polite and wanting to be friends with me.
06:21But one thing I feel I'll never get used to is eating habits. And I actually forgot about this
06:26point because this is so ingrained in my culture but my boyfriend Bobby who as many of you know is
06:32American told me to specifically at this point. So if you've watched any of my other food videos before
06:37it will come to no surprise to you that in France as a culture we really love food. And we
06:42kind of have
06:43specific eating times. Like growing up for example I shared all of my meals when I was not at school
06:49with my parents. So breakfast, lunch and dinner we would always eat as a family at the dinner table.
06:54And most of the people I know have grown up like this. So this means that a lot of French
06:58people
06:59including me will eat lunch between 12 30 and 1 pm and dinner around 7 30 to 8 pm. Often
07:05a lot of
07:05restaurants close their kitchens if you're not within those eating times. And even at work you kind of have
07:10to share lunch with your colleagues. Like it would be weird if you didn't. And at first in the US
07:15it
07:15would be kind of hard for me because I never understood if we were going to eat or not. Like
07:20it has happened to me so many times that I meet someone at 7 pm and they've already eaten. Like
07:25I
07:25kind of feel that if you meet with me during my regimented eating times you kind of have to feed
07:30me.
07:30Otherwise I'll feel hungry and sad. And also at special events kind of anything goes in the US. So I
07:36don't
07:36always understand whether something is lunch or dinner. And I know this is a social construct that
07:40lives in my head but I cannot get rid of it. Like I remember being invited to something that I
07:45thought was a celebratory lunch at 3 pm. And when I stood up from the table and thanked the host
07:50for
07:50a very nice lunch I noticed everyone was kind of looking at me weird because apparently it was a
07:55dinner. So yeah I don't think I will ever get used to it but I just try to be more
07:59flexible and adapt
08:00to things as they go. And another French thing I love bringing with me to the US is skincare. I
08:05personally feel that French skincare is really good and it's also easier to find products that use only good
08:10ingredients. Like today's sponsor Typology. Typology is a French skincare brand and all their products
08:16are made in France. I've been using their products every day for over a year and they are perfect if
08:20like me you enjoy a no makeup natural look that still gives you a little bit of an extra boost.
08:26My favorite at the moment is their glow drops. They contain vitamin c and aloe vera and I like to
08:31use
08:31them with my moisturizer when I don't want to spend too much time getting ready. I also love their
08:36concealer because I was born with dark circles under my eyes and this is really a lifesaver
08:41because it both hides them but also reduces them because of the active ingredients. And their tinted
08:47lip oil is really nice too. It's always a nice finishing touch if I want to look extra nice. At
08:52the
08:52moment they are offering a free full-size hair repair mask with every purchase of $40 or more so it's
08:59the perfect time to try high quality French skincare. But one deeper thing I actually only understood
09:04recently when I moved from my 20s to my 30s is how important individual responsibility is in the US.
09:11Let me explain. So when I was working in New York this was in my 20s and a lot of
09:16my colleagues were
09:17a bit older than me were kind of making those dark humor jokes about not getting fired when they found
09:22out they were gonna be parents. And you know since I was a European in my 20s I just didn't
09:27get it
09:27because in France health children are seen more as collective responsibilities. So when people find out
09:33they're gonna be parents people talk more about how much parental leave they're gonna take. So from an
09:37outsider point of view it seems that having children or health care are more seen as personal
09:42responsibilities and personal decisions in the west than in France where we have more of a sense of
09:47collective responsibility for that. But now that I'm at the age where people are having babies and I
09:52know how much things cost I fully get it. Like there's a big pressure to not get fired when you
09:59know how
09:59much having a child costs without insurance. So overall as an outsider it feels that in the US
10:04some things that as a European I would see as a collective responsibility like having children
10:10or health care are more put on the individual and are seen as personal decisions. And I've kind of
10:16talked a bit about that in the past and a lot of you have told me something along the lines
10:20of
10:20our health care is not really much more expensive if we account for taxes you pay higher taxes in Europe
10:25and you know I get it I haven't done the math but my personal feeling is that I'm happy that
10:30my taxes go to health care because I like that no one I know has crazy medical debt for example.
10:35But
10:35I also get that in the US people who prefer that is often because they trust themselves more than
10:40they trust the system and it's kind of this idea of self-reliance that I've seen expressed by a lot
10:45of people I've talked to and I would probably think the same way if I had grown up like this
10:49as well.
10:49So another way I see this idea of self-reliance is when we compare the car culture in the US
10:55versus
10:55the public transport culture in Europe. So you've probably heard about it but in Europe our cities
11:00are made around public transport and even in the countryside there's still some kind of public
11:05transport that people use. Like for example my parents spend a lot of time in Ariège which is one
11:09of the least visited and least dense regions of France and even in their tiny village there's still a
11:15minibus and this is mostly made for people who don't have a car or who can't drive because maybe
11:20they're sick or maybe just too old to drive or they just don't want to drive anymore. We also have
11:25a
11:25great network of trains and this is not only in France but in all of western Europe and the result
11:31is that as a 32 year old that has always lived in cities I've never felt the need to own
11:36a car. And when
11:37I first started to visit the US I actually was only researching public transport routes to go from place
11:43to place and I found that these take so much longer than driving and for example this is one of
11:48the
11:48reasons I've never been to LA. Like I'm like okay as a tourist I want to see like Venice Beach
11:53downtown
11:53maybe do a trip to Disneyland I don't know but just doing those like top things to do in LA
12:00takes
12:00hours by public transport and I don't know it seems that there is a lot of big traffic jams and
12:05that's
12:06why I actually passed on that trip every time I had the occasion because as a European it seemed like
12:10an insurmountable hurdle for me. And there is a network of trains in the US which I love. I've
12:16actually crossed the US from New York to San Francisco by train and this was one of the best
12:22experiences of my life it's so beautiful I really recommend you do it but you know let's be honest
12:26this is not a real transportation method you're doing that for the experience for the beautiful
12:31landscapes but not really to go from point A to point B because crossing the US by train takes around
12:37a
12:37week where you can just hop on a six hour flight and be done with it. So yeah that's something
12:41I've
12:42grown to appreciate especially with my Amtrak trips. I love trains in the US I take them for fun
12:47but when I have to go somewhere I usually rent a car and I let Bobby drive because as an
12:52American he has
12:52been driving since he was 16 and I only got my driver's license four years ago which might seem crazy
12:58if you're American. So I have accepted that if you want a sense of freedom you do need a car
13:03but if you
13:03want to take your time you can take the Amtrak. Quick change of pace we're gonna get into a very
13:08deep topic and I still cringe at myself for how bad I misunderstood this one but let me explain how
13:14I used to think back in the day and how I've changed. So some of you might know it but
13:18I love
13:18languages and I try to speak the four languages I know as much as I can and one of these
13:23languages
13:23is Italian I speak it pretty badly but it's you know enough to travel to Italy and I really want
13:29to
13:29improve it and when I moved to the US I actually met a lot of people who told me they
13:33were
13:33Italian and my reaction every time was to tell them that I was trying to learn Italian and that
13:39I wanted to speak Italian with them to practice and of course every time the person would be so
13:43confused probably thinking why is this weird girl trying to speak Italian with me because they were
13:48Italian American and not Italian from Italy so most of the time they didn't speak Italian. This
13:53little cultural misunderstanding is such a good example of how differently we see heritage and
13:59nationality in Europe versus in the US. If you're in Europe and you say I'm Italian it means you have
14:04an Italian passport and you speak the Italian language. If you're in the US a lot of people who
14:09would say I'm Italian they actually mean I have Italian heritage like maybe their grandma came from
14:14Italy or they were raised in the Italian American culture and at first it's something that I found a
14:20bit silly and I misunderstood because I didn't understand why someone would define themselves as Italian when
14:26you know they didn't have an Italian passport and didn't speak Italian like in my head they were
14:30American with Italian origins not Italian Italian and by the way this worked with pretty much every
14:35nationality at the time I couldn't understand how someone would define themselves as Scottish, Irish,
14:41German and yet have never set foot in the country but then something happened and that's why it's so
14:46interesting to live abroad because you see that things you thought were true and were basis of your
14:51culture are thought of differently in different countries but what made things click for me is first I got
14:56interested in Bobby's family history so his family did come from Italy back in the day and then
15:00also US immigration history which is so interesting and I understood that it's just a different way of
15:06talking about your culture and your heritage and you know it's just as valid as the way I grew up
15:11with
15:11so yeah if we go back to the Italian American culture which is the one I've been the most immersed
15:15in
15:15because of Bobby's family but also because I used to live in New York City it feels to me that
15:20it's a distinct
15:21culture from the Italian culture of Italy that kind of evolved on its own so you know a bit like
15:26when
15:26I learned about the Cajun culture of Louisiana I felt that we had some things in common like you
15:31know there's a sense of being distant cousins or something but it's like having two cultures that
15:35have a shared origin but then evolved completely different and this celebration of heritage is
15:40something I really love in the US I find it very cool I love that it's a country built on
15:45immigration
15:45this makes me a foreign person in the US feel more welcome and in terms of food it is awesome
15:51because
15:52you can eat food from all over the world thanks to this immigrant history this is just an example
15:56of how living abroad in the US and coming back to visit truly changed the way I think and honestly
16:02kind of opened my mind to new ideas I never thought of before there are so many things that I
16:07love and
16:07that are now part of my personality and I was able to do that because of my commitment to trying
16:12not to
16:12judge things but keeping an open mind and always trying to understand and accept the US more as a
16:17culture so if you're watching this I really encourage you to do that as well learning about
16:22other cultures not only the US has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life
16:27and if you want to learn about the French culture I've made some videos for you and you can watch
16:31them
16:31see you here next
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