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00:06Okay, let's focus up.
00:08We've got two orders of business we need to deal with
00:10before we even travel to Daytona.
00:12Daytona!
00:13Hey!
00:14Daytona!
00:15Okay!
00:16Daytona!
00:17Let's go!
00:17Daytona!
00:18Every time anybody says Daytona, they chant.
00:21It's cute.
00:23Daytona!
00:23All right, all right, all right.
00:25First order of business.
00:26Where's the Marcus at?
00:27Oh, he's visiting his sister who just got deployed.
00:29Wait, he sent me a picture.
00:30But I think he had to get cleared by the military or something.
00:32Where was she deployed again?
00:33Hey, Steven.
00:33Yeah.
00:33Let's focus up.
00:34Yeah.
00:34Yeah.
00:35Okay.
00:35That's what it was.
00:36We weren't allowed to say it.
00:37She's an f***ing fan.
00:38As I was saying, now that the championships are real,
00:42we've got to do some serious fundraising.
00:43We also must recruit new cheerleaders.
00:45Oh, boy.
00:46Okay, we are being rehomed.
00:48And I know everyone says keep in touch, but really, please, let's do it.
00:51No one's being rehomed.
00:52So are we being replaced?
00:53This is b***h.
00:54Yeah, f*** this noise.
00:56Crystal.
00:56Wow, this is really terrible timing for me, too.
00:58I just got a tattoo that says Button Boy on it.
00:59Check it out.
01:00Peaches did it for me.
01:02Steven, I feel like that says Butt-on-Boy.
01:04What's that?
01:04You love it?
01:05Looks good, hon.
01:05You guys want to get one, too?
01:07In order to have the best odds of winning at Daytona,
01:10you need the maximum number of people on mat.
01:1216.
01:13You can take more with you.
01:14They just won't be able to compete.
01:16But I have a different problem.
01:17I'm four short.
01:18Every one of y'all is going to compete.
01:20But if we want to win, we do need a bigger squad.
01:22That's why I can't afford to lose a single one of you.
01:24Yeah?
01:24So you've got to promise me you will not get injured,
01:29arrested,
01:31or do anything stupid.
01:34Steven!
01:36Oh, this is worse.
01:37Steven!
01:38Steven!
01:39Steven, let's...
01:40Don't do anything stupid!
01:43Uh, Peaches, my tattoo's feeling a little hot.
01:45You used a sterile needle, right?
01:46Oh.
01:46Yeah, I had a feeling.
01:48Okay, let's go.
01:50Okay, okay, let's go.
01:52Five, six, seven, eight.
01:53Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
01:54So, the thing about Daytona is,
01:56it's expensive.
01:58And back at SJSJC, we got a full ride.
02:00I mean, airfare, hotels.
02:03We were in hog heaven.
02:04That's the name of the restaurant we always went to.
02:07But here at Huddleston Junior College,
02:09I have zero support,
02:10so I will be figuring out everything
02:12by myself, like I always do.
02:14See me, Seymour!
02:15Oh, the theater department is doing
02:17Little Shop of Horrors right now, so...
02:20You know what?
02:22Let's have some fun with it.
02:23Let's use this old prop.
02:24She's in good working order.
02:26And we'll just ballpark it
02:27just to see how much we might need.
02:31So...
02:31Hotels.
02:33Flights.
02:35Meals.
02:36Sundance.
02:38Cash to tip with.
02:39I do not like being cheap.
02:42That can't...
02:45We don't need to tip.
02:47The service is not that good.
02:48And the kids can bring their own sundries.
02:50What?
02:50In my daycare?
02:52Even with those subtractions,
02:54it's gonna be $19,000.
02:57Okay.
02:57Time to go to my local banker.
02:59Uh, Benny?
03:01Uh-oh.
03:02Anytime you start a sentence,
03:03uh, boonie like that
03:04never leads anywhere good.
03:05What?
03:06It's not true.
03:08Uh, boonie?
03:09I dinged the truck.
03:11Uh, boonie?
03:11You were right.
03:12The pressure washer was stronger
03:13than the patio paint.
03:14Uh, boonie?
03:16Mm-hmm.
03:16I do need to use the rainy day fund
03:18to get these kids to Daytona.
03:19Mm-hmm.
03:20Well, I am sad to report
03:21that our rainy day fund
03:22has run dry.
03:24I guess there just wasn't enough rain.
03:26Wait, you mean there's too much rain?
03:28No, because if there's no rain,
03:29then there'd be a drought.
03:30Yeah, but the expression is
03:31you save the money for a rainy day.
03:32Yeah, but that doesn't make sense
03:33because you spend less money
03:34because you stay indoors.
03:35Yeah, but there's other expenses.
03:36Like, you gotta get a new roof.
03:37There's galoshes.
03:39Baby, we're broke.
03:39Well, how?
03:41Because you work 80 miles away,
03:43so your salary goes to gas money.
03:44Plus, you paid for Sally's parking tickets,
03:47Madonna's medicine,
03:48a fancy choreographer.
03:49You bailed Peaches out a couple of times.
03:51You bought DeMarcus a plane ticket
03:53on air stand.
03:54Well, you know that was important.
03:56Everything is important, okay?
03:57All I'm saying is
03:58the only thing we have
03:58that's worth anything
03:59is my testicle in a jar
04:01and my mint-conditioned
04:02Stretch Armstrong collectible.
04:03Boom, you said you threw that out.
04:05Honey, he means too much to me.
04:06I'm talking about the testicle.
04:07So am I.
04:09Woo-hoo!
04:10My laundry's done.
04:11Thanks, Coach Potters.
04:12Make you a plate of food before you go?
04:13I actually have dinner plans with Holden, so...
04:15Oh, sounds like it's going pretty well.
04:20It's great.
04:22Things are only good.
04:24I mean, physically, things are great.
04:25There's a reason why they named him Holden.
04:29He's very good at holding my hand.
04:32Okay.
04:33What do you feel like watching?
04:34Um, whatever you want.
04:37Um, okay.
04:38Uh, what about...
04:40Frozen?
04:41Frozen.
04:42Actually, what about...
04:45Happy Death Day.
04:47Happy Death Day.
04:50I just wish he was holding some opinions of his own.
04:53Alright, this is my current squad.
04:55All I need is four more to bring to Daytona.
04:59I'm optimistic.
05:02Okay, you can stop, honey.
05:03All gas and no brakes.
05:04I'm gonna let you know.
05:07Uh, Mike.
05:09Alright.
05:10Let's see what you can do.
05:17Thank you, Mike.
05:18That is exactly what we need.
05:20Yes.
05:21We'll let you know, Mike.
05:22Bye.
05:24Don't go anywhere, Mike.
05:25I'm the one running these tryouts.
05:26I decide who makes this team, not y'all.
05:28Uh, anyone who thinks we should also be deciding, say aye.
05:30Aye.
05:32Dot.
05:33What, I'm as much part of this team as anyone.
05:34More, maybe.
05:35More.
05:36Well, I thought I'd give you a little credit.
05:38Okay, that's not how any of this works.
05:39All those who think this is how it should work, say aye.
05:42Aye.
05:42Aye.
05:43You know what?
05:44Y'all want to help the team so much,
05:45why don't you spitball some ways you can fundraise
05:47so we can actually get to Daytona.
05:48Ooh.
05:50Daytona.
05:52Daytona.
05:54Daytona.
05:55It's cute until it's not.
05:56Y'all, get enough out of these tryouts.
06:01Okay, so, as a person who wants to make the team,
06:03I'm heading up fundraising.
06:04I have an idea.
06:05But it's a little risky.
06:07Have y'all seen Ocean's Eleven?
06:08Yeah.
06:09We make a movie like that, we'll make a fortune.
06:11I was thinking more like a bake sale.
06:13My grandma makes a killer brownie.
06:15Guys, there's no way in this world
06:16we're going to raise enough money in a bake sale
06:18to make a movie.
06:19What about a car wash?
06:21My sister always complains when she comes to pick up my laundry
06:24that her key is still gets covered in candy soot.
06:26Ooh.
06:26Yes.
06:27We can use the decontamination room at the candy button factory,
06:29and if we do it on a Tuesday, it will be closed to the public.
06:32Aw, that is a great idea, Sally.
06:35Actually, I hate that idea.
06:37Yeah, me too.
06:39You know, I might be coming around on it.
06:41You know, it's all mine.
06:44So do we like it, or...?
06:46Hold on, I think this meeting is just for cheerleaders.
06:49I agree.
06:52I would like to try out for the cheerleading team.
06:55Honey, that's real sweet, but this isn't a dating club.
06:57Okay?
06:58My cheerleaders have to be athletes.
07:00They have to be able to flip, stunt, tumble, you know.
07:08Oh, my goodness.
07:09I can see why Sally likes you.
07:11Ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah.
07:16Why?
07:21It's how you're fed.
07:22This blows.
07:24Washing cars is impossible.
07:25That one took, like, two hours.
07:26Well, if the candy set gets wet, it hardens into cement.
07:28And fun fact, candy buttons were originally designed to be suppositories.
07:34Have no fear.
07:35Sweet Relief is on the way.
07:37The Candy Button Suppository may cause constipation.
07:41Dude, we've only made $18.
07:44Guys, if we don't make enough money, we're not going to Daytona.
07:46Hey!
07:48Daytona!
07:50Daytona!
07:50Okay, okay, okay, okay!
07:51Stop!
07:51I can't be the only one keeping us focused.
07:53Hear me out.
07:54We're young, hot cheerleaders.
07:56Surrounded by suds, damn it.
07:58We know what to do.
07:59All right, cue music.
08:20This is a bad shit way to raise money.
08:23I got the power.
08:25You should know.
08:27I'm the one who's in control.
08:30Woo!
08:31I let you go, take the wind, lovers, you don't forget.
08:36Yee-haw!
08:47Hold up!
08:49My turn.
08:53Take it all.
08:54Take all that money.
08:56$55!
08:57Let's go!
09:00Okay, next up, Eric Black.
09:02You can call me Asian Eric.
09:04Is that short for Caucasian Eric?
09:06You're thinking I'm a buddy cock.
09:07I can assure you I am not.
09:09Wait, don't you play football for Sammy Davis Sr. Jr.?
09:12I talked to DeMarcus.
09:13He said that he gets to flip and throw girls.
09:15That sounds sick.
09:16Okay, well, there's a lot more to cheer than that.
09:23No, wait, she's in the play.
09:25Oh, God.
09:28No.
09:34He appears to be a lunatic.
09:36But on a big team, you can get away with one.
09:39Okay, Mr. Button.
09:44Okay, well, let me see you out of your costume.
09:46What costume?
09:47Okay, I can't let you audition with the head on, so...
09:57Oh, Lord.
09:59Cue the music.
10:00I said it's getting hot and it's so hot, so take off all your clothes.
10:05Oh, I am getting hot.
10:08Oh, oh, oh.
10:10Okay, two lunatics.
10:11But I do feel like the rest of the team will be a good influence.
10:14Votabite, Votabite, Votabite, Votabite, Votabite, Votabite, Votabite.
10:35You made $4,000?
10:37You made $4,000?
11:13Okay.
11:15Yes, I, too, have many duties.
11:17Are you familiar with IBS?
11:21International Brotherhood of Suds Workers.
11:23What, do you like the car wash mafia?
11:24Oh, we don't use that term.
11:26Car wash limits what we do.
11:28We also detail.
11:29We wax.
11:30We even pull out minor dents.
11:31You know, it would be a shame if you had an accident.
11:33I could imagine the skid marks pay you.
11:41Fine.
11:42Here's $2,000, and I hope you're proud of yourself.
11:44You took the money out of the mouths of cheerleaders.
11:46And you have to drop another deuce.
11:48$2,000.
11:49Why?
11:49For gas.
11:55Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta drop the kids off at the pool.
11:59My daughter's had a swim meet.
12:02You're a bad man, Krohn.
12:04You wipe me clean.
12:08Damn it.
12:09I'm back to $0.
12:12I did not want to have to do this, but I have to go kiss the button.
12:18I already helped you out at the button day spectacular when you made the girl fly.
12:23Yeah, and I am so grateful for that, but button day is nothing compared to Daytona.
12:30Icarisse is here.
12:31Oh, they're the clever.
12:33Here's Eric and Dean Zima.
12:43Apologies.
12:43My daughter Hildebunsch is home from boarding school.
12:47Hildebunsch Schlempf.
12:48It's a beautiful name.
12:50Yeah, yeah.
12:51I-I didn't know you.
12:52You had a child.
12:53Yes, she was an unhappy accident.
12:56A few years back, I tried to leave the family business and start my own venture.
13:01Bonbon babies bringen dich zum lachen.
13:04Yummy, yummy.
13:05Yummy, yummy.
13:06Bonbon babies sind aus Schokolade, nicht ausweisen babies.
13:10Yummy, yummy.
13:11For whatever reason, that business failed.
13:14So I left Hildebunsch for a sparring gestalt instead.
13:17That's where I met Gildenhud.
13:20They had one night of magic.
13:22And then afterwards, she came back to my place and stopped him.
13:24A few years later, Hildebunsch showed up on my doorstep, and my life has been a living
13:29high level.
13:29Sheesh.
13:30Do you have any children?
13:31No, not yet.
13:32I am a surrogate mama.
13:34To 16, though, that's why I need this money.
13:36And you saw for yourself the transformative power of cheer at Button Day.
13:40That girl we made fly, she used to be a big-time criminal.
13:42Now she's a smaller-time one.
13:45Hildebunsch has been kicked out of every boarding school she has attended.
13:49No one can tame her.
13:50Maybe you and your team could transform her into something.
13:54I'll write you a giant check.
13:55You already wrote me a giant check for a tiny amount of money.
13:59You're welcome.
14:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:02Well, I will write you a tiny check for a giant amount of money if you can take her
14:06out of my face.
14:07Are you trying to sell me your daughter?
14:09No.
14:10I'm talking about buying from you the absence of her from me.
14:15What?
14:16No.
14:17No.
14:18Listen, I do need this money, but I will not sell my good name.
14:21You've got to earn a spot on my team.
14:23There is no pay to play.
14:24Well, perhaps you can consider this a scholarship.
14:27A scholarship?
14:29Scholar.
14:30Scholarship?
14:31Scholarship.
14:32Oh, God.
14:33I bet you need to meet some cheerleader monster.
14:37I'm in the same way.
14:38Mommy!
14:39That's going to be a hard nine.
14:41Yeah.
14:43Benny, I'm about headed up to here with this town.
14:46I got Schlimpf trying to buy a spot for his daughter.
14:48I got Crohn's all over my ass.
14:51I finally got a full team to go to Daytona, and I don't think I'm going to be able to
14:55afford
14:55to get them there.
14:56You got a full team.
14:57Yeah.
14:57Headline was a little buried under some weird stuff there.
15:00Who'd you get?
15:01Uh, Benny.
15:04Oh, no.
15:04A white guy named Eric Black.
15:06Asian Eric?
15:07He's my best linebacker.
15:09Why'd you take him?
15:10He wanted to cheer, and I am trying to get my 15th trophy.
15:13Well, I'm trying to keep a team together, Courtney.
15:14Well, Boone, I'm doing this all on my own, okay?
15:17I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to run everything by you in real time.
15:19That's what I'm missing.
15:21You guys are such couple goals.
15:24I agree.
15:26But why?
15:27Well, you argue all the time.
15:28We don't argue.
15:29We bicker.
15:30We bicker.
15:30Well, Holden agrees with every single thing that I say, and excuse my French, but it's
15:35très, terrible.
15:36Oh.
15:36Well, I just, I feel like I want what you guys have.
15:39Well, good fighting takes time, and I just know you and Hovner are going to get there.
15:43You know what?
15:44I probably just need some time away from him.
15:45Uh, Sally?
15:48I didn't ask you to become a button.
15:49You're right.
15:50Oh my gosh, okay.
15:51I don't think I can take this, okay?
15:52You agree with every single thing that I say.
15:55I'm sorry.
15:56Sally, I just, like, really like you, and I just want you to be happy.
16:01Why else would I watch Frozen?
16:03Wait.
16:04You don't like Frozen?
16:05Come on.
16:06Can Disney subvert traditional tropes for once?
16:08Why does every movie have to start with the parents dying?
16:10Because it's relatable, okay?
16:11And you know what?
16:12Next you're going to tell me that you don't like Bambi.
16:14I hate Bambi.
16:15Well, I hate that opinion.
16:21Holden and I discovered something called makeup kissing.
16:24So I think we're going to start disagreeing once a week from now on.
16:27Maybe twice, if you know what I mean.
16:32Well, we will not be able to afford to fly, so we will take a bus.
16:37And between points, a blouse I can give her to Cole's cash,
16:40and a couple of good bets on FanDuel,
16:42I have secured for us one night at a travel lodge,
16:45and an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet at this restaurant called I Can't Believe It's Not Shrimp.
16:50So now, I do have to sell my babies.
16:54Not like Augustus and his one-night stand.
16:57I'm talking about my trophies.
16:58Because I can, will, and must get us to Daytona.
17:02Come in.
17:04Hey, coach.
17:05Hey, baby.
17:05Sorry.
17:06Can you come up here for a second?
17:08We did another fundraiser.
17:09Okay.
17:10Yeah.
17:11What are y'all up to?
17:12We decided that we are going to help pay our way to Daytona.
17:16I made $300 from selling my Lububu.
17:19No, honey.
17:20What did you do?
17:21Oh, no, no.
17:21No, it's okay.
17:22It's just a spooky little stuffed animal.
17:23I can't take that, though.
17:25You can.
17:29Steven.
17:30I sold the engagement ring I bought you.
17:31Honey.
17:33$200.
17:34Well, yeah, you know, I bought it last minute, so it cost a little more.
17:36But I did pawn it, so if you change your mind...
17:39I won't.
17:39Of course.
17:40Okay.
17:40Thank you, though.
17:42I sold my car.
17:43Sally, no.
17:44Yeah, and then I stole it, and I sold it, and we did a couple rounds of that.
17:47Yeah.
17:49I ran a deal on my only pizza count.
17:51Double the price to see these little piggies cry wee, wee, wee, all the way to the bank.
17:58Oh.
17:59$6,000.
18:00Oh, my gosh.
18:02You guys.
18:03Coach, we're a team.
18:08God, get in here.
18:09Yes!
18:10He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like.
18:12And we love you.
18:13Oh.
18:14I love my buttons.
18:16So exciting.
18:21Whoa.
18:22What is all this?
18:23I don't know.
18:24Maybe all the trophies you bought from eBay for $1,600.
18:30Hot cheer, Mom.
18:32You don't know that was me?
18:33You did put our home address on there.
18:36How do you know it wasn't you?
18:38Well, whoever did it gets a kiss.
18:39It was me.
18:40I did it.
18:45Where'd you get that money?
18:47I had to dip into our retirement a little bit.
18:50One, one, one, one.
18:58Until we meet again, old friend.
19:01You sold your unopened stretch arm shone doll.
19:04Collectible.
19:05Your unopened stretch arm shone collectible doll.
19:08Well, truth be told, it was a little bit open, because how else are you going to play with it?
19:12All right.
19:12So I had to throw in my pickled testicle as a bonus.
19:15Had to?
19:15Baby, I got way more money for that than stretch arm strong.
19:18So you know what?
19:19For the love of my life, I'd give the other one away.
19:23I hope that won't be necessary.
19:24Yeah, please, no.
19:26You know, Sally's right.
19:28We are a couple goals.
19:30Mm-hmm.
19:31Well, it turns out I'm not doing this alone.
19:33My husband and my team was willing to sacrifice their most prized possessions.
19:38And now I know what I have to do.
19:41All right, this is everybody.
19:43Give a warm welcome to your new button members.
19:45We do have the numbers and the means to go to Daytona.
19:47Yeah?
19:48Daytona!
19:50Daytona!
19:51Okay!
19:52Daytona!
19:53Hey, is this gym haunted, or does everybody see that scary girl sitting on the stage?
19:57We need to offer a warm welcome-in to Hilda Bunch.
20:01She is the first recipient of the Candy Button Factory Cheer Scholar Sheef.
20:05This is your gymnasium.
20:08Who the f*** is this chick?
20:10Peaches.
20:10Yeah, I kind of like her.
20:16So I did sacrifice my good name, and in return, Augustus did write me a very tiny check for
20:21a very large amount.
20:22And not only was it enough to reach our goal, there was also a little extra left over to
20:27replenish my and Boone's retirement.
20:30I love you so much.
20:32I love you.
20:33You too, Courtney.
20:34Mm-hmm.
20:34Hey, wait.
20:35Did they not send back my testicle in a jar?
20:40Dang it.
20:41They didn't, baby.
20:42I'm so sorry.
20:44You realize that this is a Division IV co-ed junior college to your team, right?
20:48Yeah.
20:48And I know what you're thinking, but this is not pay-to-play, because she's not going
20:52to be playing.
20:53So our team is set.
20:56Oh, she's...
20:57Oh.
20:59Oh.
21:02Oh.
21:03Oh.
21:04Oh.
21:05Oh.
21:05Oh.
21:06Oh, my God.
21:08She is going to play.
21:10Which means one of my kids might not be able to compete at Daytona.
21:15Yeah.
21:16Daytona.
21:17Okay.
21:18Daytona.
21:19I saw that.
21:20Daytona.
21:21I saw that.
21:22Daytona.
21:23Schnitzel.
21:26I'm gonna look.
21:31Okay, so, as a person who wanted to make the team, I'm heading up fundraising.
21:35I have an idea.
21:36But it's a little risky.
21:37Have y'all seen Ocean's Eleven?
21:38Yeah.
21:39We make a movie like that, we'll make a fortune.
21:42Aren't we thinking more like a bake sale?
21:43My grandma makes a killer brownie.
21:45Guys, there's no way in this world we're going to raise enough money in a bake sale to make
21:49a movie.
21:50What about a car wash?
21:52My sister always complains when she comes to pick up my laundry that her kiosole gets
21:55covered in candy soot.
21:56Ooh.
21:57Yes.
21:57We can use the decontamination room at the candy button factory, and if we do it on a
22:01Tuesday, it will be closed to the public.
22:03Aw, that is a great idea, Sally.
22:05Actually, I hate that idea.
22:07Uh, yeah, me too.
22:09You know, I might be coming around on it.
22:12You know, I'm so mad.
22:15So do we like it, or...?
22:17Holden, I think this meeting is just for cheerleaders.
22:19I-I agree.
22:23I would like to try out for the cheerleading team.
22:25Honey, that's real sweet, but this isn't a dating club.
22:28Okay?
22:29My cheerleaders have to be athletes.
22:30Have to be able to flip, stunt, tumble.
22:33You know.
22:38Oh, my goodness.
22:40I can see why Sally likes you.
22:42Ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:43Yeah.
22:46Why?
22:52Tell your friends.
22:53This blows.
22:54Washing cars is impossible.
22:55That one took, like, two hours.
22:57Well, if the candy stick gets wet, it hardens into cement.
22:59And fun fact, candy buttons were originally designed to be suppositories.
23:05Have no fear, Sweet Relief is on the way.
23:08The candy buttons suppository may cause constipation.
23:12Dude, we've only made $18.
23:14Guys, if we don't make enough money, we're not going to Daytona.
23:17Hey!
23:19Daytona!
23:20Daytona!
23:21Okay, okay, okay, okay, stop.
23:22I can't be the only one keeping us focused.
23:23Hear me out.
23:24We're young, hot cheerleaders.
23:26Surrounded by suds, damn it.
23:28You know what to do.
23:29All right, cue music.
23:51This is a bad shit way to raise money.
23:54Then I get the power.
23:56You should know.
23:58I'm the one who's in control.
24:01I let you go, take the wind, love is you, don't forget.
24:07Yee-haw!
24:18Hold up!
24:20Let's have a...
24:24Take it all.
24:25Take all that money.
24:27$55!
24:28What's up?
24:31Okay, next up, Eric Black.
24:33You can call me Asian Eric.
24:34Is that short for Caucasian Eric?
24:36You're thinking I'm a buddy cock.
24:37I can assure you I am not.
24:40Wait, don't you play football for Sammy Davis Sr. Jr.?
24:42I talked to DeMarcus.
24:44He said that he gets to flip and throw girls.
24:46That sounds sick.
24:46Okay, well, there's a lot more to cheer than that.
24:54No, wait, she's in the play.
24:56Oh, God.
24:58Don't.
25:04He appears to be a lunatic.
25:06But on a big team, you can get away with one.
25:09Okay, Mr. Button.
25:14Okay, well, let me see you out of your costume.
25:17What costume?
25:18Okay, I can't let you audition with the head on, so...
25:28Oh, Lord.
25:29Cue the music.
25:30I said it's getting hot and it's so hot, so take off all your clothes.
25:36I am getting so hot, I want to win.
25:40Okay, two lunatics.
25:42But I do feel like the rest of the team will be a good influence.
25:45Go to bike, go to bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike.
25:48Have they lost their corn-fed minds?
25:51Daytona!
25:51Hey!
25:52Daytona!
25:53Okay, Daytona!
25:53Daytona!
25:54Okay, all right, all right.
25:56Now, what's going on here?
25:57And why does that sign say topless?
25:59Car wash.
25:59Oh, because we're not washing the tops of cars, silly.
26:02We got to practice our routine and we made $4,000.
26:06You made $4,000?
26:08I knew you'd come through.
26:10I am in shock.
26:13Yeah?
26:13Mr. Krohn is here.
26:15Who's that?
26:16He's Adelston's biggest BM.
26:20Businessman.
26:21Oh.
26:22Actually, he's number two after Augustus Schlimpf.
26:25Well, send him in, please.
26:26Our team could use a solid BM.
26:28So nice to meet you, Mr. Krohn.
26:31Can I offer you a stool?
26:32No, I'm going to make this quick.
26:33My brother and I, we own all the auto spas in town.
26:36You sent your cheerleaders to my territory.
26:39So I want half.
26:41They were just trying to raise money.
26:43As cheer coach, fundraising is only one of my duties.
26:45Yes, I too have many duties.
26:48Are you familiar with IBS?
26:51International Brotherhood of Suds Workers.
26:53What, do you like the car wash mafia?
26:55Oh, we don't use that term.
26:57Car wash limits what we do.
26:59We also detail, we wax.
27:00We even pull out minor dents.
27:02You know, it would be a shame if you had an accident.
27:04I could imagine the skid marks.
27:08Pay you.
27:12Fine.
27:13Here's $2,000, and I hope you're proud of yourself.
27:15You took the money out of the mouths of cheerleaders.
27:17And you have to drop another deuce.
27:18$2,000.
27:19Why?
27:20For gas.
27:26Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta drop the kids off at the pool.
27:29My daughter's had a swim meet.
27:33You're a bad man, Crone.
27:35You wipe me clean.
27:38Damn it.
27:40I'm back to $0.
27:42I did not want to have to do this, but I have to go kiss the button.
27:46S, S, S, S, S.
27:48I already helped you out at the button day spectacular when you made the girl fly.
27:53Yeah, and I am so grateful for that, but button day's nothing compared to Daytona.
28:00Icaiase is here.
28:01Oh, did I clap?
28:04He's Eric and Dean Zima.
28:13Apologies.
28:14My daughter Hildebunch is home from boarding school.
28:17Hildebunch schlumpf.
28:18It's a beautiful name.
28:20Yeah, yeah.
28:21I didn't know you had a child.
28:23Yes, she was an unhappy accident.
28:26A few years back, I tried to leave the family business and start my own venture.
28:31Bonbon babies bring in dich zum Lachen.
28:34Yummy, yummy.
28:35Yummy, yummy.
28:36Bonbon babies sind aus Schokolade, nicht ausweisen Babies.
28:40Yummy, yummy.
28:41For whatever reason, that business failed.
28:44So I left Hildebunch schlumpf.
28:46Spahn gestahd in Städt.
28:47That's where I met Gildenhüde.
28:50They had one night of magic.
28:51And then afterwards, she came back to my place and stopped him.
28:54A few years later, Hildebunch showed up on my doorstep and my life has been a living
28:59higher level.
28:59Sheesh.
29:00Do you have any children?
29:01No, not yet.
29:02I am a surrogate mama.
29:04To 16, though, that's why I need this money.
29:06And you saw for yourself the transformative power of cheer at Button Day.
29:09That girl we made fly, she used to be a big-time criminal.
29:12Now she's a smaller-time one.
29:15Hildebunch has been kicked out of every boarding school she has attended.
29:19No one can tame her.
29:20Maybe you and your team could transform her into something.
29:24I'll write you a giant check.
29:25You already wrote me a giant check for a tiny amount of money.
29:29You're welcome.
29:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:32Well, I will write you a tiny check for a giant amount of money if you can take her out
29:36of my face.
29:37Are you trying to sell me your daughter?
29:39No.
29:40I'm talking about buying from you the absence of her from me.
29:45What?
29:46No.
29:47No.
29:48Listen, I do need this money, but I will not sell my good name.
29:51You've got to earn a spot on my team.
29:53There is no pay to play.
29:54Well, perhaps you can consider this a scholarship.
29:57A scholarship?
29:59Scholar.
30:00Scholarship?
30:01Scholarship.
30:02Oh, God.
30:03I don't know if you're a cheerleader monster.
30:07I don't know if you're a man.
30:08That's going to be a hard nine.
30:11Yeah.
30:13Benny, I'm about headed up to here with this town.
30:16I got Schlimpf trying to buy a spot for his daughter.
30:18I got Crohn's all over my ass.
30:21I finally got a full team to go to Daytona, and I don't think I'm going to be able to
30:25afford to get him there.
30:26You got a full team.
30:27Yeah.
30:27Headline was a little buried under some weird stuff there.
30:30Who'd you get?
30:31Uh, Benny.
30:33Oh, no.
30:34A white guy named Eric Black.
30:36Asian Eric?
30:37He's my best linebacker.
30:39Why'd you take him?
30:40He wanted to cheer, and I am trying to get my 15th trophy.
30:43Well, I'm trying to keep a team together, Courtney.
30:44Well, Boone, I'm doing this all on my own, okay?
30:47I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to run everything by you in real time.
30:49That's what I'm missing.
30:51You guys are such couple goals.
30:54I agree.
30:56But why?
30:57Well, you argue all the time.
30:58We don't argue.
30:59We bicker.
31:00We bicker.
31:01Well, Holden agrees with every single thing that I say, and excuse my French, but it's
31:05très terrible.
31:06Oh.
31:06Well, I just, I feel like I want what you guys have.
31:09Well, good fighting takes time, and I just know you and Hovner are going to get there.
31:13You know, I probably just need some time away from him.
31:16Uh, Sally?
31:18Sally, I didn't ask you to become a button.
31:19You're right.
31:20Oh, my gosh, okay, I don't think I can take this, okay?
31:22You agree with every single thing that I say.
31:25I'm sorry.
31:26Sally, I just, like, really like you, and I just want you to be happy.
31:31Why else would I watch Frozen?
31:34Wait, you don't like Frozen?
31:35Come on.
31:36Can Disney subvert traditional tropes for once?
31:38Why does every movie have to start with the parents dying?
31:40Because it's relatable, okay?
31:42And you know what?
31:42Next you're going to tell me that you don't like Bambi.
31:44I hate Bambi.
31:45Well, I hate that opinion.
31:51Holden and I discovered something called makeup kissing, so I think we're going to start
31:55disagreeing once a week from now on.
31:57Maybe twice, if you know what I mean.
32:02Well, we will not be able to afford to fly, so we will take a bus.
32:06And between points, a blouse I can give him up to Kohl's cash, and a couple of good bets
32:11on FanDuel, I have secured for us one night at a travel lodge and an all-you-can-eat breakfast
32:17buffet at this restaurant called I Can't Believe It's Not Shrimp.
32:20So now, I do have to sell my babies, not like Augustus and his one-night stand.
32:27I'm talking about my trophies.
32:28Because I can, will, and must get us to Daytona.
32:32Come in.
32:34Hey, Coach.
32:35Um, sorry.
32:36Um, can you come up here for a second?
32:38Uh, we did another fundraiser.
32:39Okay.
32:40Yeah.
32:41What are y'all up to?
32:42We decided that we are going to help pay our way to Daytona.
32:46I made $300 from selling my Lububu.
32:49No, honey, what did you do?
32:50Oh, no, no, no, it's okay.
32:52It's just a spooky little stuffed animal.
32:54I can't take that, though.
32:55You can.
32:59Steven.
33:00I sold the engagement ring I bought you.
33:01Honey.
33:03$200.
33:04Well, yeah, you know, I bought it last minute, so it cost a little more.
33:06But I did pawn it, so if you, uh, change your mind.
33:09I won't.
33:09Of course.
33:10Okay.
33:10Thank you, though.
33:12I sold my car.
33:13Sally, no.
33:14Yeah, and then I stole it, and I sold it, and we did a couple rounds of that.
33:17Yeah.
33:19I ran a deal on my only pizza account, double the price, to see these little piggies cry
33:24wee, wee, wee, all the way to the bank.
33:28Oh.
33:29$6,000.
33:30Oh, my gosh.
33:32You guys.
33:33Coach, we're a team.
33:38God, get in here.
33:39Yes!
33:40Come on.
33:42No, we love you.
33:43Oh, I love my buttons.
33:46So exciting.
33:48Mm-hmm.
33:50Whoa.
33:51What is all this?
33:52I don't know.
33:53Maybe all the trophies you bought from eBay for $1,600?
34:00Hot cheer, Mom?
34:01You don't know that was me?
34:02You did put our home address on there.
34:05How do you know it wasn't you?
34:07Well, whoever did it gets a kiss.
34:09It was me.
34:09I did it.
34:12Hey.
34:14Where'd you get that money?
34:16I had to dip into our retirement a little bit.
34:19One, one, one, one.
34:23One?
34:23Bye.
34:28Until we meet again, old friend.
34:31You sold your unopened Stretch Armstrong doll.
34:34Collectible.
34:34Your unopened Stretch Armstrong collectible doll.
34:37Well, truth be told, it was a little bit open, because how else are you going to play with it?
34:41All right.
34:41So I had to throw in my pickled testicle as a bonus.
34:44Had to?
34:45Baby, I got way more money for that than Stretch Armstrong.
34:48Oh.
34:48But you know what?
34:49For the love of my life, I'd give the other one away.
34:52I hope that won't be necessary.
34:53Yeah, please, no.
34:55You know, Sally's right.
34:57We are a couple goals.
34:59Mm-hmm.
35:00Well, it turns out I'm not doing this alone.
35:02My husband and my team was willing to sacrifice their most prized possessions.
35:07And now I know what I have to do.
35:11All right, this is everybody.
35:12Give a warm welcome to your new button members.
35:14We do have the numbers and the means to go to Daytona.
35:17Yeah?
35:18Daytona!
35:20Daytona!
35:20Okay!
35:21Daytona!
35:22Hey, is this gym haunted or does everybody see that scary girl sitting on the stage?
35:26We need to offer a warm welcome in to Hilda Bunch.
35:30She is the first recipient of the Candy Button Factory cheer scholarship.
35:34This is your gymnasium.
35:37Who the is this chick?
35:39Peaches.
35:43Yeah, I kind of like her.
35:45So I did sacrifice my good name and in return, Augustus did write me a very tiny check for a
35:51very large amount.
35:52And not only was it enough to reach our goal, there was also a little extra left over to replenish
35:57my and Boone's retirement.
35:59I love you so much.
36:01I love you.
36:02You too, Courtney.
36:03Mm-hmm.
36:04Hey, wait.
36:04Did they not send back my testicle in a jar?
36:10Dang it.
36:10They didn't, baby.
36:11I'm so sorry.
36:13You realize that this is a Division IV co-ed junior college to your team, right?
36:17Yeah.
36:18And I know what you're thinking, but this is not pay to play because she's not going to be playing.
36:22So, our team is set.
36:25Oh, she's...
36:26Oh.
36:28Oh.
36:31Oh.
36:33Oh.
36:33Oh.
36:34Oh.
36:34Oh.
36:35Oh.
36:35Oh, my God.
36:37She is going to play.
36:39Which means one of my kids might not be able to compete at...
36:43Daytona.
36:44Yeah.
36:45Daytona.
36:46Okay.
36:47Daytona.
36:48Daytona.
36:50Daytona.
36:51Daytona.
36:52Schnitzel.
36:55I'm a look.
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